It Is Pretty Pathetic

Ever since the start of this political cycle I feared of a Rudy Giuliani vs. Hilary Clinton match up. Yeah I have had to vote for the president I though would screw up the country the least before but choosing between Giuliani and Clinton would make having to choose between George Bush and John Kerry or Al Gore seem like choosing my favorite Victoria Secret model in comparison.

Much to my surprise, the media didn’t get their Subway Series they were pushing for when Giuliani was the first out of the Republican race and it looked as if I would even get a chance to put the last nail into the coffin of Clinton’s presidential campaign, a though that made me extremely giddy. Of course I am a moron who forgot where I lived. I had bought into the Barack Obama momentum completely forgetting I live fifteen minutes from what is considered the Klu Klux Klan kapitol of the north. I really should have known better.

So the question shouldn’t be why did she won but how did she win. If you were to see the Ohio map, Obama won easily in Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Columbus, democratic strong holds, yet Hilarity dominated in the gun toting, God-fearing part of the state, winning my home county 61-38 which I was surprised to see it on CNN’s top three Republican counties in the state. Of course there is that KKK kontingent. But we still do border Cleveland and Akron.

So it looks as if that 3:00 in the morning ad worked (of course, keep in mind she only gained somewhere between four to eight delegates last night), which I always found odd because if she does somehow eke out the nomination, John McCain would easily win that argument as well as her previous lead on day one stump speech. Speaking of McCain, his speech (I won’t talk about Hilary’s or Barack’s because theirs came after my bedtime) came with an interesting inclusion saying, “the next president must explain how he or she intents to bring that war to its swiftest possible conclusion with out exacerbating a sectarian conflict.” Now I was never one of those morons who took McCain’s 100 years war out of context (who followed up that comment by saying as song as the soldiers were not in harm’s way) but I was surprised at how quick he is to get to the middle on the subject.

Breathe Them Deep into Your Lungs

It is hard to go platinum nine times with your debut record and be virtually unknown to most Americans. For Missy Higgins, the platinum status of her melodic, piano based The Sound of White was just in her home of Australia but barely made a dent her stateside. Her follow up On a Clear Night has been available to her Aussie countrymen for almost a year but is just getting its American release today.

The album cause a stir down under as the new album was more of an acoustic guitar driven sound than its predecessor. The transition from album to album was smooth as On a Clear Night starts off with the piano enhanced Where I Stood before Higgins stands up from the bench and straps on the guitar for most of the rest of the record.

The best of these acoustic guitar songs is Steer an upbeat, toe tapping sing-a-long that wouldn’t have been out of place a decade ago on the Lilith Fair current but still feels current for today. And it is isn’t just Missy playing the guitar on the album, Neil Finn, who may know better as the dude from Crowded House, shows up on Peachy a bouncy kiss off from a former boyfriend.

Elsewhere on the album, Higgins expands her repertoire. Secret is a slow burning, album bluesy song where she provides some sultry lyrics to. Then the album caps with the folksy Forgive Me, a low-fi track that sounds like it may have been recorded in a bathroom, but that only adds to the mystique of the song. Undoubtedly you will be hearing more of Higgins on television shows that features lazy writers who have to insert musical montages because they run out of anything interesting to write as the most of the songs are television ready. In fact you may remember Where I Stood from an episode of Smallville from earlier this season.

Song to Download - Where I Stood

On a Clear Night gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

First Impressions: Squeegees

If you watched ABC last Thursday then you probably saw an ad hyping new show Squeegees and thought to yourself, “huh?” That shouldn’t have been a surprising response considering the new online show was just announced Thursday, the day the first two episodes hit the ABC.com website. Luckily the show is co-exclusive to YouTube because ABC.com is my least favorite of all the network websites. And since it is on YouTube, there is no reason for me to ramble on about it when I can just embed the episodes and you can judge the show for yourself (it will take you under fifteen minutes to watch all three).









Mildly entertaining and certainly better than the unwatchable Quarterlife with a nice cameo from the chick from American Dreams not named Brittany Snow. You can expect new episodes of the show every Monday and Friday and features the comedy team Handsome Donkey members Adam Countee, Brendan Countee, Marc Gilbar and Aaron Greenberg.

Squeegees is produced by Stage 9 which is headed by Academy Award-winning short-form producer Barry Josson. The studio has an active slate of more than 20 programs in comedy, drama, animation and reality ranging from traditional linear episodic storytelling to fully immersive interactive content. You can also look out for the original science fiction action thriller Trenches, sometime this spring from Shane Felux, the critically-acclaimed filmmaker and creator of Pitching George Lucas and Star Wars Revelations. Set in another time, on another planet, Trenches begins in the waning days of a grueling war. A botched rescue attempt forces a young soldier and his unit to team up with their enemy to survive a brutal threat and escape the planet.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXII

Quote of the Week: Town’s about a block long Veronica Mars. (Eli Stone, Eli Stone)

Song of the Week: One More Try - George Michael (as sung by Ms. Hendricks, Eli Stone)

Big News of the Week: Comings and Goings on TBS: This Tuesday is the season finale of 10 Items or Less at 11:00 which features an employee picnic conveniently inside the store. Then on Wednesday at 10:00 there are two new episodes of House of Payne featuring guests Michael Jai White and Robin Givens. Right after the new episodes, you can participate in a live chat with the cast over at tbs.com starting at 11:00 (keep in mind this is EST so for those on the west coast you can chat before the episodes air). For those that that prefer dramas, TNT for three straight days starting tomorrow (Monday), they will be airing the best of Saving Grace starring Holly Hunter at 10:00 and 11:00.

Coalition Links of the Week:

Buzz picked out some favorite TV catchphrases. If you disagree, we'll have to hug it out. (BuzzSugar)

Eric wondered who your Constant is after watching this week's episode of Lost. (Daemon's TV)

Mikey suggests some great, middle-aged TV alums for Psych to consider casting now that Shawn needs a mom for the upcoming third season. (Mikey Likes TV)

Plattie praised the BBC's Being Human, which features a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost and yet somehow lacks a full series order. (Pop Vultures)

Rae wants you to help her create the perfect “Memorable TV Moments” mix-tape. (RTVW)

Because Vance is so shallow, he analyzes the boys chances for winning/surviving American Idol(/beating David Archuleta) based on their hairdo's in a week where he shamelessly celebrates the hotties to watch for. (Tapeworthy)

While his attention were pulled towards new episodes of Last Restaurant Standing, Top Model, and Project Runway, this week Jace's constant was his love for Lost. (Televisionary)

Welcome to the Captain is the best little show you're probably not watching -- so says Dan. (TiFaux)

This week, the TV Addict proposed to NBC President Ben Silverman that he actually re-make a show people care about. Meaning, it's time for The West Wing: The Next Generation. (the TV Addict)

Raoul interviewed Yau-Man from Survivor. (TV Filter)


The Oscars: I didn’t watch because 1) The only movie I saw that was nominated for anything was Norbit, 2) I am under forty, 3) I’m not pretentious enough to care what old people think are good movies, 4) I’m not shallow enough to care what clothes celebrities wear. If they ever bring back Chris Rock, maybe I’ll tune in. But I bring up the show because I was happy to see that Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova wrangled the award for Best Song from the Disney for Falling Slowly. It is a shame that a song like that can’t get played on the radio yet it seems like Fergie is always on. I would post their performance but the tools over at the Academy have stripped all the YouTube videos. But if you are interested in downloading the song, you can get it for free at the Once website.


Welcome to the Captain: Yawn. When is The Big Bang Theory coming back? Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download or Welcome to the Captain on iTunes.


Survivor: Yet another brilliant episode. How the old people convinced the Incredible Hulk to keep Chet instead of Mikey B is beyond me but it madr for yet another great tribal council. And one more thing on Mikey B, I just realized this past episode that he is the only Mike on the cast, so why the “B”? Is this a Grandmaster B situation where that is what he wanted everyone to call him? But anyways. It looks like the show will only get better next week when they switch up the tribes and you know someone is going to turn on their former tribemates because there is a lot of hate going around this season. Please let Cirie and Jonathan end up on the same tribe. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.




Lost: What a worthless hour of television. Just what I thought Desmond’s visions were as lame as it could get, now we have this is he or isn’t he time traveling mind fart of an episode. And it made no sense. The whole business of The Constant should have been resolved early because Daniel could have been it. He talked to him both in the present and the past. And how was Desmond able to travel across England so quickly without going back to 2004? Just when I was beginning to like this season they go all metaphysical. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.




Eli Stone: There is nothing I dislike more than episodes that start in the third act then flash back to the beginning. And there seemed to be no reason for this to do so except when you found out that someone was missing, you already new it would be in Hawaii and it made his beach visions less ambiguous. Of course they totally made up for it with the Veronica Mars reference made about Mac’s roommate. Then the most shock moment of the night didn’t belong to Lost but instead was the revelation that Dr. Abbott had came down with a case of the Jungle Fever a couple years ago. Never saw that coming. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com. You can also download Eli Stone on iTunes.


Saturday Night Live: Thanks to a glitch I didn’t tape last night’s episode so I check out Hulu only to find out they don’t bother to stream full episodes just a couple clips. Really why bother. I guess I’ll have to wait for a repeat to check the whole thing out.


Also check out my preview of the second season of Dirt.


Promo of the Week: Wednesday also sees the season premiere of Ghost Hunters and here is a promo for the new season:




Next Week’s Pick: My Name Is Earl, Monday at 10:00 on TBS: It is a slow week next week (although you can always check out Eli Stone in hopes for more Veronica Mars references) so if you haven’t caught the funniest show currently on television when it first ran, here is your chance to catch up with back to back episodes every Monday starting with the funniest half hour of television ever in the history of the world.

I Drink Your Milkshake, I Drink it Up

There are many things that make March the greatest month of the year, St. Patrick’s Day, March Madness, the beginning of spring, the occasional Mardi Gras or Easter. But there is no greater March ritual than McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes, the minty goodness that the restaurant chain rolls out each year to celebrate the Irish’s special day and this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame. Unfortunately it seems I am not the only person enamored by the drink because it seems whenever I drive by my local establishment they say they are already out which leads me on a pilgrimage to all the McDonald’s in a twenty-five mile radius.

Hopefully you all are familiar with Shamrock Shakes because I’m not entirely sure if the whole nation gets the specialty shake this time of year as I was in San Diego a couple years ago in early March when I asked person at the counter in the airport if they had any Shamrock Shakes and he gave me this look as if I was speaking another language (okay, maybe that isn’t an unusual reaction I get from strangers). So for those unfamiliar with them and to show that I am, indeed, not insane, here is a commercial. God bless YouTube.

I Want My Music Television vol. XX

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


We Are the Ones - will.i.am and the Pretentious All-Stars



The first will.i.am man love video for Barak Obama was entertaining in a where did they find Ashley Banks kind of way. But this is just overkill. C’mon, Landry, I expect better of you. And like a dude from Texas in a Christian death metal band would ever vote Democrat. The only thing than can be considered entertaining about this video is figuring out which “stars” appear because the whole heartedly think Obama would make a great president and which ones just signed on for self promotion. This harkens back to the last election cycle with Diddy’s Vote or Die campaign when some of the spokespeople weren’t even registered to vote (*cough* Paris Hilton *cough*). And Jessica Alba’s diatribe makes me think that it is about time to bring back the IQ test for voting.


Touch my Body - Mariah Carey



I am not entirely sure if this is a serious video from Mariah Carey or if she is thinking she is semi-ironic. I guess I am too busy figuring out why she wears less clothing the older she gets. Can we expect a Playboy layout when she his sixty?


You Don’t Think I’m Funny Anymore - Willie Nelson



What do you do when people don’t find you funny anymore, well if you are Willie Nelson you get Owen Wilson, Woody Harrelson and, um, Jessica Simpson to drive lawnmowers. And unlike the previous video, this one is legitimately funny.


Broken - Tift Merritt



In a story I broke earlier this week, Tift Merritt has a new album out (see Come Gather Me in Like a Rainstorm) and here is a video for my favorite song off the album.

Previewing Dirt

Warning: mild spoilers ahead for the new season of Dirt which premieres this Sunday at 10:00 on FX.

Whenever I stand in the grocery checkout line and glance over to see a headline to the effect of, “Jamie Lynn Spears tells boyfriend he’s not her baby daddy” I always feel a little dirty. Which would make Dirt the perfect title for a show about a tabloid magazine. The show was created by Courteney Cox and David Arquette and follows Cox as DirtNow’s editor in chief and dealing in rumors and innuendos didn’t help her character as she was stabbed by one of her biggest target of the first season in the finale who subsequently was hit by a car after fleeing the scene.

Despite the nausea inducing concept of following the lowest of the low on the human evolutionary scale, the show has a quick wit and more than a few interesting characters most notably the lead paparazzo that carries on conversations with his cat. The new season also sees a new reporter that Dirt fleeces from a more respectable newspaper who has to unlearn what he studied in journalism school to get ahead in his new job and Willa (Alex Breckenridge) has no problem showing him the ropes.

Naturally the cliffhanger of Cox is resolved quickly (surprise, she’s alive) and she is back to work to find that somehow she has been scooped on her own stabbing by the other tabloids and is out to find a new story. The first she finds is story about a pregnant former stripper who inherited a substantial sum from her much older billionaire husband. Mmm, where have I hear this before?

Other stories under consideration are a starlet who is caught chasing after he former assistant’s mom, again strangely familiar. Then there is the sitcom star, as played by Tom Arnold who knows a thing or two about tabloids, who has a answering machine message calling his daughter names leaked to the internet (it’s like déjà vu…) followed by a YouTube phenomenon where he is drunk on the kitchen eating a pasta bowl (…all over again).

Then there is the famous for being famous heiress Milan Carlton, played by the chick from Point Pleasant, who drunkenly drives on the off ramp prompting some jail time. An heiress with no redeemable talent and a city in Europe first name and a hotel for the last who spent time jail; why does that sound familiar? This is going to bug me for a while until I can figure that out. But I do not remember the real life story ending as hilariously.

You can try to figure it out for yourself when the second season premiere of Dirt airs this Sunday at 10:00 on FX. You can also check out Dirt on iTunes or Amazon Unbox.

Maybe We Should Ask Barak if He’s Comfortable and Needs Another Pillow

Before I get into the debate itself, let me thank the local NBC station for preempting the series premiere of Quaterlife, sparing my neighbors from even the opportunity of seeing the show. I had seen an advanced copy of the first episode almost a year ago and was surprised to learn that not only they decided to make more for the internet that they would actually put it on network television. The show is horribly acted with dialogue that is too talky, and obviously written by dudes on the wrong side of fifty, spoken by characters that are not at all likable. As someone who recently went through a Quaterlife crisis I am offended by such crap.

As for the debate itself, you know your campaign is in trouble if you are complaining about always having to answer the questions first. One should be happy to get to answer a question first so you can get the chance to set the tone and the tone Hilary Clinton set last night is that she is a complainer. And she didn’t help dig herself out of that whole when she awkwardly referenced the Saturday Night Live, asking Barak Obama (seriously, Fred Armesen?) if he would like a pillow. Not only did she did not get a laugh when she paused for one, there was a dead silence followed by a spattering of boos.

That was basically about the involvement of the Cleveland crowd which seemed to be about as bored as I was, no cheering, no real booing, not even an applaud line. And the pre-show Hardball with Chris Matthews from the Cleveland State University, the background was almost as sedate to the point I was embarrassed to have taken classes there. Usually when Hardball is on a college campus, the crowd is raucous with opposing signs and warring chants for their candidate of choice even if they were not there. Instead we got what looked like a church choir with blue shirts which was puzzling because I though Green was school color.

I know it was so snowy to the point instead of announcing all the school closings, the local radio DJ just said, “If you can hear my voice, you don’t have to go to school today,” (not to mentioned I have had to shovel three times in the past two days with snow banks getting up to my waist) you’d think there would be some student that would take the five minute walk from the dorm to where the debate was just for the change of getting national television. This doesn’t bode well for Obama if the weather is bad come November. Oh and here is the previously mentioned SNL sketch:

Come and Gather Me in Like a Rainstorm

Another Country is a perfect title for an album by Tift Merritt. Even though she is a country artist in the traditional sense, but she certainly isn’t like mainstream country has become over the past three decades which insults the intelligences of those of us north of the Mason-Dixon Line with at the very least a high school diploma. While listening songs about how sexy tractors or checking chicks for chicks, you can almost here the Nashville record executives telling artist to dumb it down for those who are still so amused by the Doppler Effect they are willing to watch cars turn left for hours on end.

So unfortunately true country artist like Merritt, Ryan Adams and Shelby Lynne get lost in the shuffle as the country label scares off the educated but their songs are too high brow for country radio (ironically enough Lupe Fiasco wrote Dumb it Down for the rap radio which is starting to fill up with as much morons as country radio). But do not let the country label scare you; Merritt is more Emmylou Harris than a redneck woman like Gretchen Wilson.

In fact the album is virtually void of fiddles and banjos (there is plenty of slide guitar though) and her Carolina drawl isn’t overwhelming she can certainly finds her way around a melody. Where country radio is filled with the same tired guitar riffs and done me wrong lyrics, Another Country effortlessly deviates from the formula with songs that pull in influences from rock, folk, bluegrass and even and even a song with some R&B influenced horns. And she probably doesn’t invite any new country listeners in with her album closer which is sung in French.

Song to Download - Broken

Or you can currently download Morning Is My Destination for free on Amazon MP3.

Another Country gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

You’d Rather Be Scared than Bored to Death

Seven Mary Three is best known for their biggest (arguably only though Water’s Edge rocked too) hit Cumbersome. The song was the epitome of southern rock with crunching post-grunge guitars and a singer with such a menacing voice it sounded like he gargles with Whiskey for a month before he laid his growl to the record. The fact that the dude rocked a Fu-Manchu somehow made the song even. To this day, you can still hear drunken bar dwellers who can come up with a quarter to put in a jukebox that hasn’t changed its tracks in a decade chant “I have become cumbersome” despite not having a clue what that even means.

Twelve years and five years later Seven Mary Three is still at it with their latest album Day&nightdriving. And what makes the album so disappointing is the loss of that month long Whisjey gargling voice. It is almost as if they replaced the lead singer with someone who takes shots of milk and walks right out of a club if he sees just one person smoking inside. If it were not for Cumbersome, Day&nightdriving would be a decent southern rock jam that is the right mix of rock and roll, country, and folk. But if you love the nineties as much as VH1, it would be hard to listen to the album without hoping that the singer just lets loose the distinctive snarl from their most famous song.

Song to Download - Last Kiss

Day&nightdriving gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXI

Quote of the Week: You just Scooby Doo’d me, didn’t you? (Hurley, Lost)

Song of the Week: Good Lovin’ - The Young Rascals (As song by multiple Coma Guys, Eli Stone)

Big News of the Week: Friday Night Lights Shines On, Maybe: In a story I broke two weeks ago, Ben Silverman Is a Humongous Tool. Since then there were rumors of a Friday Night Lights movie to wrap up the show which I discredited because that is the token cool down the fanatics but making them think they will get a movie. Of course I’m still waiting an Angel movie The WB promised after it unceremoniously axed that show.

Then Variety posted an article (which I found courtesy of Herc of Ain’t It Cool fame) which said not only is there a possibility of a third season of Friday Night Lights, but it may be on multiple channels (think what NBC did this year with one of its five hundred Law and Order’s airing earlier on USA and saw a ratings boost). What makes me suspicious of this article is that NBC declined to comment, and there is no source mention in the article. Plus the network floated for sharing the show are The CW (why would they share with another network channel), E! (which only airs trashy shows, so FNL would not fit between The Girls Next Door reruns), and G4 (you know, the video game channel, granted Madden is one of the best selling video games and it does syndicate the also canceled too soon Arrested Development). More credible channels mentioned were TNT (who know drama so would fit perfectly) and Direct TV (which previously picked up daytime NBC show Passions). But even then, unlike the L&O case, none of these are owned by NBC Universal like USA. So until I hear anything official from NBC, my hopes will not be raised.


Coalition Links of the Week:
Buzz wondered if a movie version of The Wire would be a good idea. (BuzzSugar)

Sandie shared a preview clip from the new season of FX's Dirt. (Daemon's TV)

The return of live American Idol makes Mikey nostalgic for the TV of yesteryear. (Mikey Likes TV)

Marcia considered whether Ashes to Ashes was a worthy successor to Life on Mars. (Pop Vultures)

Rae dissected what she liked and disliked about the Knight Rider movie and admits she'd probably still give it a shot if NBC picks it up. (RTVW)

Cover your ears, TV fans. Jennifer couldn’t contain her anger and ranted against NBC for canceling Las Vegas. (Tube Talk)

The TV Addict helps pitch Friday Night Lighta to the CW, TNT and SCI FI. (the TV Addict)

Vance LOVES Lost even though he is completely lost while trying to follow the show. (Tapeworthy)

This week, Jace was underwhelmed by Knight Rider, entranced by Lost, and hungry for more of BBC's culinary competition, Last Restaurant Standing. (Televisionary)

Dan dug up some reality show contestants' porno past, including folks from Survivor and American Gladiators. (TiFaux)

Raoul interviewed Mary from Survivor. (TV Filter)


Welcome to the Captain: Still isn’t funny. Seriously, a cameo by Chunky Spice from *NSYNC? Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download or Welcome to the Captain on iTunes.


My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad: Okay, I didn’t actually watch this. But from the five seconds they showed on Best Night Ever, I’m thinking Family Double Dare should sue.


Survivor: There has to be an inverse correlation between the intelligence of the survivors to the enjoyably of a season and thank God the favorites are some of the dumbest that have played the game. First you have Cirie deciding to go with the two couples instead of the loosely configured alliance. Then instead of trying to convince her of getting back into their alliance, Jonathan decides to berate her at camp and tribal council. And out of nowhere, Amy decides to vote for Cirie instead of with her alliance. And to make the episode even more enjoyable, they allowed contact between the survivor in the immunity challenge which always end badly. And by badly, I mean highly enjoyable. You had dudes body slamming chicks, people pull off other people’s clothes, Mike hitting on the other tribe. They really need to have more full contact challenges per seasons. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.




Lost: Ugg, it looks like Lost may be falling back into its cycle of fifty-five minutes of tedium boredom with five minutes of jaw dropping plot twists. And even Not-Henry was calling out the show for recycling its plots with Locke locking up in a room bringing him food like in season two. Really the only thing that happened in the first fifty-five minutes was the revelation that everyone off the island thinks that only the Oceanic Six survived the crash aside from two that died after the crash. Of course being Lost this will end up sounding more important that it actually will be.

The big shocker of course being that Kate is now taking care of Aaron and it sounds as if she is making people believe that it is hers, this also presumably answers the question of who Kate had to get back to in the finale. But of course it creates more questions than it answered. Like does Aaron count as part of the six? I can see this going either way. Why would Jack avoid Aaron? Does he not know it is him? Or is his guilt so large that he doesn’t want to be reminded of what he did? I guess he hasn’t found out that it is his nephew. What happens to Claire? Does she die? Is she still on the island? Did she give up Aaron voluntarily so he didn’t have to grow up on the island? And where were the creepy black dude and/or his minions during the episodes, the one that approached Hurley and presumably Sayid is killing?

But during the uber-boring first part, I got to thinking of the Oceanic 6’s celebrity and the funeral that Jack went to last season. Many assumed Locke but it seems unlikely that a member of the Oceanic 6 would have no one show up at their funeral, certainly there are the morbid celerity seekers that would show up. My other thought back then was Not-Henry, but he seemed too powerful to end up like that. I am wondering if it were one of the Other Redux, the one whom he made a plan with to get off the island that ended up in the casket, Miles maybe. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.




Eli Stone: In my First Impressions, I mentioned that if Andrew from Buffy the Vampire Slayer showed up I may have to check myself for an aneurism, well Uncle Phil showing up is close enough. Seriously, this show may have the best casting director on television, well if it weren’t for the chick from Species. If only the writing were as good, it was pretty well telegraphed that the nappy headed lawyer would end up being offered a job. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com. You can also download Eli Stone on iTunes.


Promo of the Week: After hyping the free Sports Illustrated Swimsuit video last week, I did a little stalking researching of the host of the video Brooklyn Decker and found that she was cast in failed NBC pilot, Lipshitz Saves the World and even though the show did not get picked up, of course a trailer for the show popped up on YouTube:



Seriously, how was this not picked up. I had the making of instantly being the funniest show on television. It would be like Chuck: The High School Years but actually funny and somehow with a hotter Token Hot Chick. Plus it has Leslie Nielsen playing Leslie Nielsen. Hopefully it is not too late for a slot on newly announced NBC year long television season or at the very least the concepy would make for a great movie idea. Someone get Judd Apatow on the phone for that.


Next Week’s Pick: Democratic Debate, Tuesday at 9:00 on MSNBC: You think the marketing people at a major network would be able to come up with a better nickname than Super Tuesday II but apparently that is what they are going with. A week before Texas and Ohio go to the polls, the two candidate’s debate just north of me. This may be Hilary Clinton’s last stand as she hasn’t won a primary or caucus since the original Super Tuesday. Nor can she be happy that Dave Schuster got reinstated just before the debate on the same channel. But it is hard to feel sorry for her about the pimping comments when she is eager to make light of her husband’s infidelities at the last debate. You really can’t take the moral high ground when you do that. But anyways. Since I am within driving distance (and have a working Cleveland State student ID), if MSNBC, the Democratic Party, or anyone who can hook me up with some tickets, credentials, or get my questions included in the debate, or get me into a Frank Luntz focus group, shout me a holla.

Feed Your iPod vol. XVI: I Hope That I Don't Fall in Love with You

Inexplicably Scarlett Johansson of all people will soon be releasing an album of Tom Waits covers. Thankfully my personal favorite song of his didn’t make her cut. I Hope That I Don’t Fall in Love with You always remind me of closing time circa college in the winter. There is a very cold feeling to the song that really hits on the loneliness of the winter months which we are smack dab in the middle of right now.


I Hope That I Don’t Fall in Love with You - Tom Waits

Press Releases: TBS and the Sci-Fi Channel

Got a few press releases from TBS and The Sci-Fi Channel, combined they are too long so here is a shorter, bulleted version in Laymen’s Terms:

- My Name Is Earl goes into syndication on TBS Mondays at 10:00 and 10:30 starting March 3rd. As I have stated before, the pilot of My Name Is Earl is the funniest half ever in the history of television and the second season’s Our Cop’s is On isn’t that far behind. So if you haven’t seen the show before or a late comer, here is the best way to catch up from the beginning. Of course if you perfer to watch the episodes whenever you want without commercials, you can buy them on iTunes or Amazon Unbox.

- TBS ordered up eight more episodes of the variety show Frank TV which is slated to return later this year. I don’t know about you, but I can’t get enough of fat versions of Jack Nicholson and George Bush. You can download the first season of Frank TV on iTunes.

- Ellen DeGeneres has signed up to host variety specials for both The Comedy Festival, set for November in Las Vegas, and the new five day festival, Just for Laughs: A Very Funny Festival set for Chicago summer 2009 with specials airing on TBS.

- Over on the Sci-Fi Channel, March 5th at 9:00 sees the return of GhostHunters where Jason and Grant investigate the legendary Fort Mifflin in Philadelphia, once the site of bloody battles in both the Revolutionary and Civil Wars. But my personal favorite part of the press release is where it says, “Ghost Hunters is also very successful with young female viewers – on average, the Fall 2007 season outperformed new episodes of CW’s Gossip Girl in over the same 6-week period in Adults 25-54.” Isn’t Gossip Girl what The CW was hoping to be its flash ship program? You can download episodes of GhostHunters on Amazon Unbox

- Premiering right after GhostHunters at 10:00 is Destination Truth where Josh and team set out into the mountains of Nepal to uncover the truth behind the infamous myth of the Yeti, and make the remarkable discovery of what could be three separate footprints left by this elusive creature.

- Then there is BattleStar Galactica which returns April 4th. You can check out the sneak peak for season four over at its YouTube page. Also be on the look out for a special clip with celebrities talking about their favorite BSG moments coming in early March. You can download episodes of Battlestar Galactica on Amazon Unbox as well as the Razor movie.

She Deserves Better Than Him, Better Than Me Too

Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without taking, so I watched License to Wed. And boy did that suck massively. I mean seriously, was I really supposed to laugh at anything in that movie? But anyways. Luckily Ms. Moore redeemed herself with the much more watchable Dedication where Mandy plays an illustrator picked to work with a children’s book writer, Billy Crudup (Almost Famous) with a massive case of OCD whose longtime illustrator, Tom Wilkerson (Michael Clayton) is no longer able to perform the task.

In Dedication, Moore was handpicked to get Crudup to deliver a new book within a month’s time. The relationship between the new partners isn’t a smooth transition as does all he can to break her while the publisher does all he can to make sure she gets the book done on time. And a tall task that is as Crudup doesn’t function well around others. Wilkerson was his best friend and a very loose phrase as theirs was mostly a working relationship.

The film is a romantic in the simplest sense as sparks fly the more time the two spend together, but Crudup’s eccentricities keep you wondering if the two could actually be compatible. Moore, who doesn’t show up in the film for some time, isn’t really the model of normal either as she deals with her mother/land lord (Dianne Wiest) who seems to want to be the latter more than the former. And the shady ex-boyfriend throws in a monkey wrench too. Dedication is much is a much more jarring than most romantic comedy fair in terms of writing, acting, and directing, but it is much easier to sit through than License to Wed.

Dedication gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television vol. XIX

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Flashing Lights - Kanye West



Every new Kanye West video has become a major event almost like when you ran home from school to catch the latest from the likes of Michael Jackson which MTV would air hourly for the entire day. But I haven’t decided if his latest, directed by Spike Jones of all people, is a case of him being too high concept or not high concept enough. And yes, the video was supposed to stop like that and no, there won’t be a sequel or any further explanation (or so ‘Ye would have us believe).


Supernatural Superserious - R.E.M.



It has been awhile since I took the record industry to task, but this may be up their as one of the dumbest. So R.E.M. has a new video out except you can’t embed the video from YouTube. Yet there is a site where you can edit the video at Supernatural Superserious and upload your version to their YouTube page. Except you can embed those (one of which is above) using the same song and much of the same footage. Seriously, why allow one but not the other? But anyways, the song reminds me of something circa the Monster era which coincidently was the last time I was really big into R.E.M., that’s not to say they haven’t has some great songs since.


Hands on Me - Vanessa Carlton



This video from Vanessa Carlton hopefully brought to you from Purell.


I’m Me When I’m With You - Taylor Swift



If there ever a reason not to let a seventeen year old borrow your camcorder, here is the directorial debut from Taylor Swift. And is she really doing the Soulja Boy dance in the video? It may be time to raise the minimum voting age back up.

Some Strange Music Draws Me In

Cover albums are always a shaky proposition, especially when artist try to go outside their comfort zone or genre. Just because you like a song doesn’t necessarily means you can do as good a version yourself (anyone remember the Duran Duran version of White Lines). And it I typically a rule of thumb to stay away from iconic songs as no one what to her a piano version of Smells Like Teen Sprit. Yes I’m talking to you Tori Amos.

For Allison Moorer, she mostly stays away from the most recognizable songs on her album of covers, Mockingbird, with two exceptions. Most notably is Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire where Moore takes the song back for women (the song was written by Johnny’s future wife June Carter), but it still takes some time getting used to a slowed burning version sans a mariachi band instead replaced by an organ. The other song being Dancing Barefoot, the Patti Smith classic, a song that Moorer can’t quite do justice to a song that mentions heroin.

Moorer does much better with the lesser known songs on the album. Nina Simone’s I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl is right up her wheelhouse and really lets loose at the end. Same goes for the bluesy Daddy Goodbye Blues (which is extra haunting considering her family history) and the folksy Orphan Train. But she really excels at songs that are closest to her own like the title track and her take on Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides Now.

Song to Download - Mockingbird

Mockingbird gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XX

Before I get into the best in television from the last week I would like to point out the lack of any correct answers so far in this month’s Lyrics Quiz. I guess since it is guilty pleasures some of you may be embarrassed to admit you know the lyric, but if I can admit that they are on my iPod, you can at the least admit you know the lyrics. Anyone? Anyone at all? I even added hints.

Quote of the Week: Here’s an idea, why don’t we take a gun point it to his big toe, send that little piggy to market. If he still doesn’t want to tell us, move on to the roast beef. Why don’t we do that? (Sawyer, Lost)

Song of the Week: Wait, no George Michael on Eli Stone this week? Did they already bust their music budget on Faith and Freedom?

Big News of the Week: The Writer’s Strike Is Over: Well that was anti-climatic especially since we won’t see any new episodes until at least late March for sitcoms and mid April for dramas. And all seems to be for not as my sources say the writers got a crap deal. But take note to all other union members out there, before you go on strike, think to yourself, “Would Upton Sinclair write about my plight if he were alive today?” If the answer is no, it really isn’t a good idea to go on strike.

Coalition Links of the Week:

Buzz is pitting all of this season's Project Runway looks against each other to figure out which is the most fab. (BuzzSugar)

Eric came up with the Top 5 TV Villains on television today. (Daemon's TV)

With all of this early news about the Fall 08 season, Mikey wonders why How I Met Your Mother still hasn't found an audience after three years on the bubble. (Mikey Likes TV)

Marcia celebrated Valentine's Day by remembering some of television's greatest kisses. (Pop Vultures)

After attending the taping of MTV's America's Best Dance Crew premiere episode, Spads shared tidbits from her conversations with judges JC Chasez, Lil Mama, and Shane Sparks. (RTVW)

Last week, Vance bawled while watching Friday Night Lights. Now he may bawl at the thought of NOT being able to watch any more new Friday Night Lights. (Tapeworthy)

Dan took some time to think about whether he actually liked Eli Stone, or whether it was just the best scripted show still in new episodes. Either way, Jonny Lee Miller's dreamy. (TiFaux)

Jennifer pondered why everyone falls for Boston Legal’s Shirley Schmidt and gushed about Scott Bakula’s visit to the firm. (Tube Talk)

Kate came up with a Gossip Girl drinking game. (TV Filter)

Taking a page from How I Met Your Mother's Barney and his Hot/Crazy Scale, the TV Addict is proud to introduce the Lost Quality/Question Scale! (theTVaddict.com)


Flavor of Love 3: For the previously seasons, the only episodes worth watching were the premiere and the reunion show. But this was by far the least entertain premiere of the three season. Hopefully there will be a Charm School around the corner. You can download Flavor of Love on iTunes.


Welcome to the Captain: Yeah, this isn’t going to get much better. Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download or Welcome to the Captain on iTunes.


Survivor: Wow, that may set the record for shady business for the show. What really makes it interesting, not only did the Incredible Hulk looking dude conspired to out Mary, he ended up voting for the old chick. It should be really interesting with the two different tribe members from opposing tribes going to Exile Island this time. This is setting up to be the best season in a long time. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.




Lost: After seeing the episode I have absolutely no clue what is going on with Sayid’s flash-forward. And that was even before we learned that he is working for Not-Henry. I guess what is really bugging me is that how does a celebrity able to become an assassin? And who is the German chick’s boss? The black dude who approached Hurley? Then is Not-Henry part of the Oceanic 6? I mentioned earlier this week that I bet he got off the island but I am not sure he counts as one on account that he wasn’t on the plane. I also guess that this rules out Not-Henry as my original guess that it was his funeral that Jack attended. From the promo it looks like we may get an answer to how Kate managed to avoid prison which bugged me last year. But considering Sayid large sum, I am going to assume that the combination of celebrity and money is what keeps her out of jail. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.




Eli Stone: I never saw the husband and son in on getting the mom out of the National Guard. But one thing that bothered me is that if you are trying to get custody to the mom, why would you let the husband hire the high powered lawyer while the mom is stuck with the incompetent one? Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com. You can also download Eli Stone on iTunes.


Next Week’s Pick: Eli Stone, Thursday at 10:00 on ABC: The episode is entitled Wake Me Up Before You Go Go although after last week’s musicless episode I’m not sure if the song will actually be featured or not. Hopefully they work it in somehow.

Previewing Dexter and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Video

In a story I broke last week, tomorrow is the network series premiere of Dexter (or tonight depending on when you read this, at any rate, Sunday, 10:00 on CBS). I have already seen it so I really didn’t plan on rewatching it myself, but I was interested on how the edited for television. Granted they didn’t really need to do much in my opinion aside from the occasional expletive or naked breast or bottom side. And much of the gore is more about what you don’t see than what you do (think about the ear cutting scene in Reservoir Dogs where they actually pan away from the act). From these exclusive clips below (unless of course you have seen them elsewhere, but in not, they’re exclusive to you), it doesn’t look like they have cut out much, although considering the Showtime show runs an extra ten or so minutes so something must hit the cutting room floor. Be warned, these clips are not for kids, the faint of heart, or anyone that doesn’t want to see what a body completely drained of blood looks like. For those that do, enjoy.









Now, all the ladies and gay dudes, feel free to skip down to the lyrics quiz below (there still is an overabundance of unanswered one) because the next part is just for the guys. And guys, what a treat I have for you. From today until February 25th, you can download the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Video exclusively, and more importantly free, from Amazon Unbox. Below is a preview of the video and to download the whole video, click, well, “Buy the Unbox video” (and as long as the price still says $0.00 then it is still free). Yeah, I would go as far as to say the Brooklyn Decker is moderlately attractive.