57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/19/13

Once Upon a Time: Well I hit the big goose egg when predicting what would happen last week. I thought that Bay would turn out to be Peter Pan and the portal he fell into would take him back to Neverland. I also thought we would not learn this until another season (or five). Instead it looks like his son Henry will turn out to be Peter Pan. And I would have never guessed that the shadowy figure behind the anti-magic collision would turn out to be an actual shadow. Mostly because that makes little sense. Wouldn’t Neverland be in the same suspended animation all the other magical realms were in during the curse? How did Owen then hook up with the Shadow?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: As confusing and boring as the sophomore season was, that was a really good season finale. First and foremost they actually killed off the annoying and useless Declan (I was hoping Charlotte would follow suit but she is pregnant, maybe she will die during childbirth). Then after an entire season of teasing, we finally learn what The Initiative is up to, sure it was silly but it sounds like we are done with them now that Conrad was elected. And now Emily can team up with Jack to take down the Grayson’s (hopefully next season starts after the phase where Jack is mad at her for lying to him). Unfortunately Aiden is still around, somehow being able to pin the bombing on Nolan instead. I did not think I would say this a week ago, but I am actually excited for season three.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Mad Men: During Don's hotel escapade I kept expecting him to tell Sylvia to punch him. Which begs the question, at what point in the relationship does Don ask a woman to punch him? Or is that just reserved for call girls?
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: After the unceremonious booting of Caroline Glaser last week, I had no desire to watch the parade of country and RnB singers America saved last week. But I needed something to fill my time in between How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls, and Castle so I gave it another try (because what else could have I done: read?) and a small part of me hoped they would have a “shocking” twist and bring Caroline back. Alas it was not meant to be. Apparently The Voice Gods were not happy with her elimination either because there was some sort of air conditioning problem this week. As for what I saw, the show was still as boring as I expected. Actually worse. Seriously, two songs by Martina McBride and Michael Jackson? Where is the diversity this season? Remember when they had country and RnB singers mixed in with rocker chicks, folk dudes, an opera dude, and a weird indie chick? Now they cannot even diversify the song selection. The hour I spent in between scripted shows would have been better spent watching Caroline’s videos on her YouTube page. Here is m personal favorite from her channel.


How I Met Your Mother: Wow, we actually got to meet the mother. It was also a bit surprising that they cast some random chick instead of at the very least a Hey I Know That Chick actress like his previous girlfriends like Allison Williams, Sarah Chalke Rachel Bilson, Jennifer Morrison, and most recently Abby Elliot. Even half of his one off dates were recognizable names (Ted really liked pop singers: Mandy Moore, Katy Perry, Britney Spears). Now the question is when will Ted meet the mother. The show really likes messing with the timeline so I will not be surprised if the wedding does not actually happen in the season premiere. Maybe the entire last season will be the previous eight years of all the close run in’s Ted had with the mother culminating with the wedding in the series finale.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Castle: Beckett will not actually turn down a great job just because Castle proposed, will she? And it is not like he cannot move to Washington.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Nashville: Stupid promo monkeys. Of course Dante was going to be the one that died. Had you not told us someone would die, the death would have actually been shocking. Okay, Juliette’s mom following him to Hades was a bit shocking. And it was only a matter of time before Maddie’s paternity would come out, the only question was when and how and we finally got that this week when she found a paternity test saying the person she thought was her father is not. That should put a kink in the new Rayna / Deacon when Maddie theorizes to Deacon that she may be his daughter next week.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: So the big season finale twist is that Raj can now talk to woman without the aide of alcohol? Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Hannibal: The show has had some creepy kills early in its run, but I am not sure they will ever be able to find a more disturbing killing than trying to play some dude’s vocal cords as a cello. Kudos Bryan Fuller.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/12/13

Once Upon a Time: I am okay with poetic license so if the show wants to turn Rumplestiltkin into the “Beast” or make Jack of the Beanstalk fame a chick, fine (though turning Captain Hook into a J. Crew model is a little silly) but I really do not like that they turned Neverland into Siberia for Lost Boys. Neverland may be the most magical land in the Disney library and to turn it into a living hell take poetic license too far. But being from the writers of Lost, I have a feeling in three seasons (if the show gets that far) we will learn Bay is Peter Pan who rescues the Lost Boys from the Shadow, who is probably being controlled by Captain Hook. I would not be surprised if Bay ended up back in Neverland through the portal he slipped through and now is living a Hook
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: I was really hoping that it would be Takeda killing Aiden because the show took a dive in the entertainment department right around he showed up. His character just made the show too complicated and muddled, and with him gone, I hoped they would go back to Emily taking people down again out of revenge for her father next season. That is if there is a next season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Mad Men: On any other show, when Peggy left SCDP, the question would not have been if she would ever end up working with Don, but when. But considering this show has no problem segregating its cast (I cannot remember the last time Betty interacted with anyone else, Gene’s birthday party maybe) or just cut ties with them completely (I wonder if Paul Kinsey ever got to write for Star Trek) I figured they would just stay their separate ways from the rest of the show. So it seemed a little cheesy that Don proposed a merger with Peggy’s current firm.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: Well that was a weird way to start a results show, “hey, we are throwing out half the ways you were allowed to vote… but do not worry, even though we discarded those votes, we still got the same result anyway.” What? When Carson first announced this, my second thought was this is what they are going to use to bring back whoever drew the short straw on Adam’s team because they probably would have been one of the top two vote getters on any other team (my first thought was the irrational Michael Jackson fanatics, which there are still plenty around, stuffed the internet voting and possibly the texting which I am not entirely sure how you manipulate texting but I am morally opposed to texting so I really do not know much about it).

But alas the resurrection of Caroline Glaser, who was voted off Adam’s team, due to “voting irregularities” did not happen unless there is a shocking twist coming Monday (and we are still owed a shocking event from when they hyped one in the Battle Round that never happened). And the show should want to give Caroline a reprieve because she was one of the two best selling artists on the show this season (baffling the other person, Sarah Simmons, is the other one). Caroline and Sarah were the only two contestants whose four songs all charted this season, while Caroline was the only one who had all four of her songs on the Top 200 Overall iTunes chart this week. Not only that, all four of her songs charted higher on Monday than Josiah Hawley who inexplicably is in the final 12 while Caroline is going home. (Even as I write this, all four of Caroline's songs are charting higher than one song by Judith.  The Voice should feel really embarrassed by this.)  During Usher’s save, I was hoping he would say, “Instead of saving these two who are a lock to go home anyway, I am going to wait to use my Save on whoever Adam gets rid of.” That would have been worthy of the move we were promise in the Battle Round that “shocked the other coaches and producers.”

What makes Caroline and Sarah, the two top sellers, being in Adam’s team worse is that America’s Save went Judith Hill. The other save went to Amber Carrington, who hit the teens on the charts, but Caroline and Sarah were not that far behind in the thirties while Judith barely cracked the top 100. Considering they threw out online voting and texting, there had to be an overwhelming amount of phone calls for Judith to catapult Caroline and Sarah. Combine that with the “voting irregularities” this just does not pass the smell test. How are there that many people who said, Judith’s performance was not good enough to buy, but I am going to vote for her anyway?

Judith of course is an RnB singer while Amber is a country artist. You know else sings RnB and country: everyone else America voted for not named Michelle Chamuel (I guess she should be happy that Usher did not have another RnB singer or a country artist on his team). That really makes for a boring final 12. And it will get even more homogeneous because I suspect rockers Josiah and Garrett will be gone within the first two weeks, if not the first two gone. Not that I will find out, because unless they bring back Caroline, there really is no one to get excited for unless you are a country or RnB fanatic. I doubt anyone this season could have made the top five last season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: Have we always known that Robin has a sister? When her father first mentioned the younger Serbowski, my first thought was, well she will turn out to be the titular Mother. Except it would make no sense, we already no the mother has been in New York City for a while, she partied with Sarah Chalke, roomed with Rachel Bilson, and sat in on Ted’s lecture. If Robin’s sister has been in the city this whole time, how have we never met her yet?
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: Not that Pierce Morgan had much integrity in the first place, but how do you go on a show as yourself and comment on the size of another man’s junk on your own television show (which actually airs opposite the same program)? Larry King would never have done that.

Castle: It seems like whenever the show has these big government conspiracy cases, it always turns out to be a very pedestrian killer like a relative or scorn lover (with of course the exception of whenever it involves their own family). And I actually kind of hope Beckett takes the Washington job, then maybe Castle can go back to following around Adam Baldwin’s character.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Grimm: I have always liked Nora Zehetner going back to her Everwood days but unfortunately a decade later she really has not gotten her big break yet. She was unfortunately shuffled off that show after her onscreen brother died. She was the most interesting character on the early episodes of Heroes but was quickly killed off. The only thing I remember seeing her in since was one of the hundreds of Hey I Know That Person cameos on Heroes but she did not stick around long enough to get bedded by Don Draper (but at least she was not sullied by Pete Campbell). I was actually hoping that her character on Grimm would cause Nick to kill Juliet and she would become the new love interest because Juliet is clearly the weak link on the show. The only problem is Nick is the second weakest link.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Note to self: whenever you go on Survivor, tank any Individual Reward Challenges. Much like I am shocked that anyone would actually buy food at the action because the money would be better spent on the “advantage’ and Jeff will always have one covered dud and another time he will pull the you can have this for yourself, or something for the tribe thing. It is also becoming more frequent that at least once a season, Jeff will do the you can keep the prize for yourself or everyone else can get it thing and that usually happens during the Loved Ones Challenge. This week had to easily be the cruelest of Jeff’s ploys. He actually let Brenda choose Dawn, THEN said their was a second Loved One hiding on the island, AND THEN gave her the option of everyone but her AND Dawn the loved ones time. And then to make things worse, they actually had the barbecue within shouting distance. That was just cruel Jeff. And then Brenda learned the hard way why you do not want to win these challenges. It is a lose-lose situation. If you chose your Loved Ones, everyone will hate you and will not win if you make it to the finals. If you give up your Loved One, everyone will view you as a threat to win and try to vote you out, which actually happened to Brenda hours after her good deed. Though that was a stupid vote, I would much more worried of Eddie going on an Idol run than Brenda, and like I explained last week, Eddie already had three automatic votes on the jury. Oh well. We did finally get a first look of Andrea on the jury, and I am not sure who packs a cocktail dress when going on the show, but I am glad she did. Wow.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Nashville: Of course Juliette has a sex tape. But I take it they are going to save the reveal of Maddie’s paternity for the season finale to Deacan, and maybe Maddie herself. I guess the question is how they will find out? Will Rayna finally confess after all these years? will Teddy let it slip in a jealous rage? Will it be released in a tabloid? For the entertainment value, let’s hope it is the third option.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: That was the most disturbing sex scene I have ever seen.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: Well this season of Community written fan-fic is finally over. At least we got one last glimps of Evil Annie in a tight red dress before it was thankfully put out of its misery, so it made the season worth it. Wait, it was renewed? Oh goodness.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: So a therapist has his very own therapist. Though I have a feeling Hannibal just goes to Scully just to play with her. And what is going on with Abigail Hobbs? She was just resigned to a dream sequence this week, but I would really like to see her in the middle of the Hannibal / Will tug of war for her soul.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/5/13

Once Upon a Time: Wait, I thought Maleficent was dead. Didn’t Emma slay her in dragon form? Ugg, This show is getting annoying.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Last week I was convinced Matthew Weiner was just messing with us with the glimpse and you missed it cameo from Jefferson D’Arcy. So of course this week featured Harry Hamlin with just one line. Of course it did. Screw you Matthew Weiner. But all the toying with the audience was worth it just for the Ethan Rom pitch for insurance. I am pretty sure Bobby is aging backwards.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Vikings: Who knew there tribes of Amazonian women in Scandinavia? And those I feel bad for the son having to see his father make babies with someone other than his mother, but I hate break it to the kid, but the jump off is a lot more attractive than the Mrs.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

The Voice: I will be releasing my latest Power Ranking tomorrow just in time for the start of the Live Playoffs (here is a preview: there is a new number one), but one thing I want to mention that did not quite fit in the post is how I missed the backstage shots of the other contestants waiting to be chosen. My favorite moment of the Knockout Round last season was when Caitlin Michele was signing along with Nicholas David.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

How I Met Your Mother: Near the end of the episode I was thinking that this was one of the better episodes in recent memory, Ralph Macchio (who has not aged a day) a stripper, a creepy clown, and a completely evil plan; it was severely disappointing that they were not able to bring in Billy Zabka. Not thirty seconds after I said that, Barney says the same thing and Billy starts wiping off his clown makeup. Well done How I Met Your Mother.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Castle: Well that was a silly excuse for a clips show. But I wonder why that was not the 100th episode, seems more like a place for a clip show, not the 102nd.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Oh Andrea, I love you, I thought you should have won this season because you were playing the best game up until this week, but girl, you made three extremely bad mistakes this week. First and foremost, how stupid was it to bring up Dawn to Cochran, that was his number one ally, at least wait until final four or five to broach that subject. And where taking Dawn to the finals who could rack up some sympathy votes, it would be worse to take Douchebag #2; the guy already has three automatic jury votes: Malcolm, Douchebag #2, and the gay homosexual, that could be enough for a win. All he would need is one more vote for at least a tie (assuming there will be a final three). And lastly, how do you go home with an Immunity Idol in your pocket? You have been paranoid this whole time, how do you not play the Idol. It is not a good sign when Erik gives away another Idol and he was not the dumbest person of the episode.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Nashville: Has Juliette never seen Behind the Music? Rule number one: do not let strangers handle your money. Or as Billy Joel learned, do not even let family members handle your money. You hire a professional accountant, then hire a second one to keep the first on in check. A lot more shocking was the neighbor going in for the kiss on Gunner. Certainly did not see that coming.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Community: Nerdy Annie was surprisingly extremely attractive (okay, maybe it is not that surprising, it would be hard to ugly up Allison Brie). Even bettet it looks like we may get Evil Annie next week. I may not be that sad to see Zombie-Community to go, but I will definitely miss Allison on my television every week.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: Oh Bryan Fuller, I am sure you did not just happen to name My Girl’s character Miriam Regina Lass, so I am just going to go ahead and assume she is George Lass’s little sister. My sources tell me George herself will be showing up later this season as a character named Georgia so I wonder if she will be playing Miriam’s older sister, even if the original George Lass is dead (like Miriam).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/21/13

Mad Men: Maybe it was because there was only one hour this week or it featured the triumphant return of Trudy Campbell, but this episode was much more entertaining. Can we please, instead of continue to pop into the life of Fat Betty, just use all that screen time to see what Trudy is up to? Actually I wish the show would feature more Trudy and less Pete.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: As I have stated multiple times, Blake is clearly the best coach on the show and I have agree with him more than any other judge when it comes to picking Battles and other decisions, but letting go of Caroline Glaser was a colossal mistake on his part. I actually do like Danielle Bradbery and glad she advanced (she was number 9 on my Blind Auditions Power Rankings) but there is just something special (or dare I say diaphanous) about Caroline’s voice where you just cannot dump her this soon in the competition. Thankfully Adam (and Usher) wisely went for the Steal. Hopefully she will turn into this year’s Amanda Brown for Adam.

What exactly is Blake doing this season? I remember last season he flat out said that he only want to take one country artist to the Live Shows (and did the same the previous two seasons) yet this season he placed a non-country artist with a country one and each time, the more country artist advanced, and considering Savannah Berry, his best country artist is yet to come he will at least have five country singers going to the Knockout Round (montage contestant Justin Rivers could make it a clean sweep). Maybe after two straight wins, he is going country or going bust this season. Too bad he did not tell Caroline and his other non-country contestants his plan when he was fighting for them in the Blind Auditions. So do not get comfortable Taylor Beckham and whoever he steals next, you probably will not be spending too much time on Team Blake.

Really the only other thing that stuck out to me this week is how dramatic the makeovers were. At her Blind Audition, Caroline was dressed like my grandmother but transformed into some hippie chic model (note to Caroline: wear your glasses more often, and by more often I mean always). But the most dramatic change was Amber Carrington who looked like she was dressed for a PTA meeting at her audition but looked significantly better when they put her hair up and a more fitting dress on her. And she won, and rightfully so. Sasha Allen just over sang the song and her flaws were very apparent while singing with Amber.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: How disappointing that we did not get to see the wedding planner’s “redonkulous” body. But there again, there is always the internet where you can do an image search of Mircea Monroe. Ted was complete right.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: The writers deserve a pass considering the conditions they were under while writing this season, but that was a really odd plot twist at the end. Essentially J.R. committed suicide just to frame Cliff Barnes for that murder. And it was a little weird that no one seemed to care that his henchmen killed him. You would think they would be a little mad that he let think J.R. was murdered and not tell them that J.R. was dying so they could at least say goodbye. But anyway. Now with Cliff and Rylan in jail (I do have a feeling the latter will be getting out by the second episode next season) apparently the big bad next season will be Elena. Alrighty. So all this time she grew up with some dude who would end up running a drug cartel?
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: My favorite part of the episode is they put handcuffs on Bigfoot without bothering to take off his costume. If Beckett was so skeptical about the existence of Bigfoot, then why did she have oversized handcuffs on her?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: All shows are guilty of hyperbole when it comes to promos, but Survivor may be the worst of them all. Finally the show lived up to the hype with “one of the craziest Tribal Councils EVER” (not so much with Dawn losing her mind over a lost retainer) with Malcolm pulling out his two Idols, then telling the dominate alliance that they have to turn on themselves. And who would have guessed that Erik, the Dumbest Survivor Contestant Ever, would be smart enough to point out it would wise to not play the Idol because no one would be stupid enough to vote for someone who says they are going to play it (keep in mind this season was filmed before Malcolm successfully pulled that same bluff last season). So even though Special Agent Sheppard ended up going home, it still was an entertaining Tribal.

That was until I went to sleep that night and thought about the episode and the history of Survivor. I racked my brains and could not think of a time when the producers of the show put a second Hidden Immunity back into the game post merge. Come to think of it, I could not remember a season when they put any more Hidden Immunity Idols back in play after they were used after the merge. So the episode started out with the Stealth R Us alliance having the numbers to easily vote out a member of the Douchebag even with a Hidden Immunity Idol because they had enough people to split the votes. Then during the episode, there is an Immunity Challenge that clearly favors athletic guys that Douchebag #1 wins fairly easily with Douchebag #3 in a close second (Douchebag #2 stupidly got eliminated) and then Douchebag #3 just happens to find a Hidden Immunity Idol even though none have been put back into the game after the merge before making them bullet proof at Tribal? That just does not pass the sniff test. I call shenanigans. That does not pass the sniff test
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Subugatory: I have been down on this season because they focused too much time on the adults, put Tessa in a boring relationship with a jock, and neutered Dalia. The last hour seemed like a reboot back to what I loved about the first season, even with an action film quality fight inn the halls of a high school. And I am not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed that I easily recognized the song on Lisa’s cat mix as It Must Have Been Love by Roxette. But that makes me wonder if you have to pay a licensing fee for a song if you recreate it with cat sounds? On a side note, if the show gets renewed, they need to figure out how to get Tessa to dance more next season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

The Americans: I was reading a couple weeks ago how someone complained about this show saying that the show could go nowhere because we know how it ends (the Jennings will be on the losing side) which means the show will lose most of its tension. And though I doubt the Russians will end up winning the Cold War on the show, it is clear we are living in an alternative timeline where anything can happen, live a scientist and multiple FBI agents can be blown up (image if that happened today) or a Russian General being killed in the Mother Land. But the most fascinating part of this episode was that Elizabeth had some good old fashion American fun for the very first time.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: After a very long single shot opening, I thought they would not have a cut in the entire episode (sans the commercial breaks of course) and would have been much more interesting if they did. And goodness was Evil Annie extremely attractive. And despite airing the Christmas episode almost a month after Easter, the delay did have a timely Hannibal Lecter reference that now airs the same night.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: After the premiere, I was trolling the message board and came upon an interesting theory that Dr. Lecter was feeding human meat to Will in that dinner he prepared for him. I bring this up because this week Abigail asked, “He was feeding them (the girls her father killed) to us” to witch Dr. Lecter responded, “Very likely.” That pretty much confirms to me that he was feeding human remains to Will, and basically everyone he cooks a meal for.

Another basically confirmed mystery this episode is the Hannibal is the copycat killer. It certainly was not a coincidence that he heard Will’s lecture on how the copycat would never kill like that again, and as soon as the team returned Minnesota, another girl was hung up by antlers in a place Hannibal knew everyone would be the next day.

It is also surprising how great a character Abigail is (okay it should not be that surprising considering Bryan Fuller is involved and the guy knows how to make you feel something about bit characters). Who would of guess a teen girl could go toe to toe with Hannibal Lecter but I do hope they find ways to work her into the rest of the season. Those if she remains a key figure in the show, I have a feeling she will be dead or in jail by the end of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/14/13

Shameless: So it looks like Steve may really be sleeping with the fishes. Granted it is hard to believe he really is dead without actually seeing a body. And then Fiona wastes the money for her on plastic cups. Alrighty. I wonder just what her and Kev plan on doing with them.

Mad Men: Wow that was a boring two hours. In lieu of discussing what happened because I may fall asleep at my keyboard, I will instead just post a power ranking of facial hair at Sterling Cooper Draper Price:
1. Harry Crane
2. Ginsburg
3. Don Draper
4. Bert Cooper
5. Stan Rizzo
6. Roger Sterling
7. Ken Cosgrove
8. The Annoying New Guy
9. Betty Draper
10. Pete Campbell
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

House of Lies: I did not see the team fracture like that. I guess it should not be too surprising that Clyde would jump ship even though he almost showed a conscience earlier this season, but for Doug to not follow his mentor was shocking.

The Voice: I pretty much summed up my thoughts on the week, and the entire Blind Audition in the Power Rankings, but I got to thinking that since then like bringing back people to audition again, maybe they should put even those who do not get picked on iTunes and whoever sells the most downloads will get an automatic invitation to the auditions next season. I have a feeling Jane Smith would have charted higher than a vast majority of the people that did make a team (which may be why the show currently does not do this. But anyway. Here my favorite performance of the week (and second of the season): Caroline Glaser.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Dallas: I have made light of I’m sorry your parent dies sex, even on this show, but I’m sorry your father was responsible for killing your unborn children sex is much more disturbing.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Another nerve racking episode. How dare the brolliance target Andrea? Serves them right to waste an Immunity Idol. Really dumb move by Douchebag #1 to give his to Malcolm. Not dumb enough to be an automatic inclusion whenever I update my list of The Dumbest Survivor Constants Ever list, but he will definitely be in consideration. C’mon Douchebag #, who cares if they did vote out Malcolm, Now you are still in the minority without a safely net and have to win every Immunity Challenge to make to the finals without fail (or hope they target Malcolm and Eddie first, then go on a winning streak).

I am surprised that everyone keeps trying to turn Dawn thinking she is on the bottom. For most of the game, I have assumed the top of that alliance was Cochran, Dawn, Andrea, and Philip. But two weeks in a row, they approached her, and two weeks, she used that to help her alliance take out the right person. And even though Douchebag #1 made a boneheaded decision, Douchebag #2 just got played by Andrea fiddle. Between this is his inability to realize his four person hot alliance was less than the six ugly people alliance, he is eligible for the Dumb list too. Serious, what happens if he does not tip Andrea’s name? Do they really vote for Malcolm who uses Douchebag #1’s Idol and Andrea?

And what was Philip doing tipping his hand? Sure Boston Rob got rid of anyone who he thought may turn on him, but he never let them know until he wrote their name down on the parchment. Unless Philip did that to make the brolliance think they were voting for Malcolm to make Michael and easy vote, but I am not sure he is that devious. Now Malcolm knows Philip is gunning for him and Philip knows Malcolm knows. Now the question is do the Favorite feel comfortable now the Idol has been flushed and put all their votes Malcolm next week or the still split just in case? Cochran is an overthinker so he has to know there is another Idol that can be in play and Andrea is clearly paranoid after last episode. Oh yeah, and Dan may be going crazy next week. But even if she pulls herself out of the game, the Favorite can split the votes three ways for a tie to flush out the Idol and vote out the other guy in a revote.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

The Americans: Two shocking deaths in two weeks. This week may have been more shocking because I thought they would use Gregory to continue the wedge between Elizabeth and Philip. Almost as shocking was Elizabeth going soft by actually letting Gregory walk out the door alive. I was a bit disappointed that Gregory somehow managed to survive the shootout at least for a little bit, long enough for Stan to ask him a question or two in the hospital.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Zombie-Community does a musical puppet show. Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: Holy Wonderfalls reference! Too bad Gretchen did not run into her old high school friend Jaye. Or least her Doppelganger. I am just going to assume that Jaye has spent the last decade in a mental institution and will not be released until a Kickstarter movie gets made.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/7/13

Revenge: Booooooo!!! How dare they kill off Rebecca Logan? Seriously Creepy Initiative Dude, why keep her alive six weeks only to kill her? This show really trying my patience. C’mon, they kill of Rebecca Logan and Charlotte is still around, slapping people at parties?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Clearly the scariest zombie the popped up on screen this episode was the commercial for the walking corpse that is The Killing. Truly horrifying that the show is returning for a third season. But anyway. After giving Andrea her own episode two weeks ago they actually killed her off. Good riddance. I guess it was artistically cool that she basically went out like her sister, even by her own hadn again, but it is hard to care when you have never cared about the character. This leaves only five original actors from the first season. Who would have guessed Carol would outlast everyone? But it looks like they are going to get an influx of new red shirts for next season when they literally bussed in a bunch of old folks and children who were too weak to fight from Woodbury. Yeah, that will turn out well. Much like Peter, Bjorn, and John, I don’t really care about the young folks taking about the young stuff. And I don’t care about the old folds talking about the old style too. And why go back to the prison at all?
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: They are not really going to kill off Steve are they? Not that I would mind that much, I am beginning to think the show would have been better had he stayed on the lamb. And who knew Frank had it in him to take the fall for Carl. Did not see that coming.

The Voice: There is nothing I hate more then when people whine about semi-professionals being on the show because they think those contestants have an unfair advantage. I watch the show because the semi-professional makes the show much better than the armature competitions out there. And the unfair advantage argument does not hold because the three most successful people to ever have auditioned failed to get anyone to turn a chair. Last season one hit wonder Cupid and Christopher Trousdale, who sold a million records as part of Dream Street went home early. And this week Julie Roberts, who has a gold record, could not even get her acquaintance Blake Shelton to turn around. Personally I am disjointed that I have not recognized any contestant this season. Where is the token Warped Tour Chick for the season (granted Cassadee Pope did not show until the last week last season.

One complaint I do have had about The Voice is that it lacked a true rock judge (Adam Levine is more a pop-RnB guy even if his band has a guitar player). Maybe Shakira will fill that box. This week she picked up Brandon Rouch who looks like he fronted a band from Seattle twenty years ago as well as returning rock singer Garrett Garnder (who almost did not get anyone to turn around two straight seasons until Sharika pushed her button at the last second). And who would have guessed Seven Nation Army would become the standard from The White Stripes library? This is the third straight season someone perform the song. I would have guessed We’re Going to Be Friends would be their song most likely to become a standard.

Oddly they cut down the Blind Auditions by three hours this season, with only twelve contestants per team, down from sixteen last season but back to season two numbers. This makes me wonder if they are already getting rid of the useless Knockout Round. But does that also mean are they getting rid of The Steal because I do not see them having seven or eight contestants from each team in the Live Round. My guess is they will have the Battle Round with a Steal (Shakira already mentioned stealing people), the Knockout Round (which hopefully they introduce another steal) with four or five contestants per team making it to the Live Rounds.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

Dallas: When the babies flat lined last week, I did not give much thought to it because assumed they would revive them by this week. Wow, they actually let the twins die. I not sure if that was the right decision because the storylines might be much better tying Christopher and Pamela forever. But in the short term, it will be interesting if Pamela will eventually find out her father was behind the explosion.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: I knew from the beginning that Castle’s imagination was getting the best of him by thinking his across the street neighbor killed his girlfriend, but I have to admit by the time Beckett went over there, I starting thinking that maybe he was a murderer. And that was a great reveal that the whole thing was an giant birthday present. Which was a good thing because the other plot was a bit boring.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Justified: A good episode, but it seemed to be lacking something as a season finale. The scene with Raylan telling Augustine he would not leave the limo alive, even saying he had not left the limo yet as he exited it himself to like Sonny Tonin gun down Augustine was classic Raylan, and would have been a great moment for a middle of the season episode, but I wanted more. And it was weird that a season about getting Drew Thomson the finale lacked Drew Thompson, and the reason the FBI wanted Drew Thomson, Theo Tonin skipped town to the extradition free country of Tunisia. I wonder if Alan Arkin was unavailable all season and if this season would have been any different had he would had made an appearance.

So no Drew Thompson and no Ellen May (also conspicuously absent: Johnny Crowder who I am surprised made it out of the season alive) but Boyd and Ava had to spend the episode trying to clean up Ellen May’s confession, ultimately failing. I do not think it was a wise decision for the funeral director to let Boyd to stay out of jail, that will come back to bite him next season. Hopefully Ava gets sent to a co-ed prison where she can bunk with Dewey Crowe and Dickey Bennett.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: When I compiled my list of The 25 Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever list fout seasons ago, number one was a no brainer to the point of being the most obvious number one of any list I have ever compiled: Erik giving up his Immunity Necklace. Though Brandon Hantz came close, Erik would still grab the top spot if I were ever to update the list. So it was quite amazing that the rest of this season rested in the hands of the ice cream scooper. This led to one of the most heart racing Tribal Councils in recent memory as you tried to figure out which way Erik (and to a lesser extent Sherri who took a defeatist attitude at tribal council).

Thankfully he chose wisely because had he gone with the alpha male alliance, it would have been a slow slog to the finale as the vote out their former Favorites tribemates. Instead now you have a solid alliance of four (Cochran, Dawn, Andrea, Philip), their lackeys (Brenda, Erik), two people completely on the outs (Sheri, Michael), and what’s left of the alpha male alliance (Malcolm, Douchebag #1, Douchebag #2) who would seem like the first three to go, except they have two Immunity Idols between them. So the solid alliance needs to keep Sheri with them AND recruit Michael (I told Philip it was a huge mistake to let Corrine keep Michael over Julia) to have enough people to split the votes. And even then, what if the two people the split the vote with both use an Idol? And what if the two lackeys and the Fans team up with the final Alpha Male Alliance member. So not only was the fate of the season in Erik’s hands once this season, it may not be the only vote where Erik becomes the deciding vote. God help us all.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: Wait, Hayley grows up to be Justine Bateman? What?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Nashville: I find it interesting that during the Ho Hey sing-along, Deakon chose to shout the former instead of the latter at Rayna. And with all the interaction with Maddie this episode (he even told her she looked more like her mother than her father, who is not even her real father), I wonder when exactly is Deakon going to find out that she is his daughter.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Americans: Before I talk about this episode, for those who watched via DVR and had the final eight minutes cut off, you can re-watch the episode at fxnetworks.com until May 15.

I still think of the Jennings children the same way I do Chris Brody and Bobby Draper (not at all) but I did love the daughter’s reaction to the potential big news (mom’s too old to be pregnant) and the son’s history report (America won). But it was a nice tension breaker in what turned out to being the shocking plot twist that Philip inadvertently killed Stan’s partner. A real game changer of an episode.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Uh oh, Allison has some Brie competition with the arrival of Larson to the show. But it was very disappointing that did not have a Brie off.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: I feared with the serious subject manner that Bryan Fuller’s trademark wit would somehow get lost in the adaptation, but those fears were put to rest when Lawrence Fishburn yelled at someone to use the ladies room so he would continue to yell at someone without being bothered. And Dr. Lecter and his patient was pretty humorous too.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/24/13

Once Upon a Time: Well that was the most boring Groundhogs Day homage ever. At least they let us now Ethan Embry was the young boy by the end of the episode because it was pretty obvious who the young boy would grow up to be. But this begs the question, is has his father remain in suspended animation like the rest of Storybrooke all this time or is old enough to join AARP now? Presumably he has been hanging out in the dungeon Belle was all these years.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: So much for no more distractions. Now Emily has multiple distractions between her foster brother and whatever Jack is up to.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: The show really does not know its audience when it does an Andrea-centric episode.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: The sad thing is, I do not think Frank becoming a gay icon even ranks in his top five most offensive scams.

House of Lies: Wait, did Clyde actually develop a conscience? He would be the last in the pod that I thought would feel bad that he orphaned a kid.

Vikings: When the previews showed the Vikings invading English speaking countries I wondered how the show would deal with the language barrier. Two episodes later and the answer is a resounding not very well. Sometimes they both speak English and not understand each other and this week they have both parties subtitled and not understanding each other. They should have just kept the Vikings speaking English and just have the English speak Gaelic or some other dead language. But I do like the new relationship between Ragnar and the priest. He is a much more interesting foil to Ragnar than the Earl is.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

How I Met Your Mother: If Barney’s bed was not supposed to be an homage to Remote Control, I am going to go ahead and pretend it is.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: With the reintroduction of Gary Ewing and his wife, you have to wonder if TNT is toying with the idea of a Knot’s Landing reboot.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Deception: Not The Killing bad, but I am still a bit disappointed with the killer’s reveal. I long wrote off Robert because I could not see him killing his own daughter after the lengths he went through to keep his son out of jail. And we still do not know why he killed her. Ugg.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have predicting since the beginning of the show that Allison was still alive and later she was under the red hood despite her body being identified, and this is the closest thing to a confirmation with both Hanna and Mona seeing a not so dead Allison pulling them out of the fire. But I am not totally convinced what they saw was indeed Allison. But if it was, then were the other time the Liars saw Allison in dream like sequences, like when Aria was being drugged by her dad’s girlfriend, or when Emily was trapped in the barn when she was looking for the psychiatrist? And if Red Hood did not start the fire, does that mean Jenna, Melissa and the random lesbian who showed up last week (is she just a stand in because the actor they wanted was not available?) did do it? And is the start of a war between The A-Team and what I would like to coin The Dukes of Hazard (the second best television show of the eighties) with the Liars caught in the middle? And what the frack was in the trunk? Or should I be asking who?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: When it was shown that Drew skipped down on the 4:30 train I tho9ught why did Raylan not go with him instead stay in the principal’s office where he could get gunned down by Tonin’s thugs. I realized quickly that was a stupid question because of course Raylan is going to stick around and taunt Boyd and Tonin’s boys because he is Raylan Motherfracking Givins. If there is a hard way to do something, Raylan is going to do it. And that ended up being the best scene in the episode. Well that and Constable Bob getting beat to the sounds of Love Train. Actually, now that I type that out, I realized that was an awesome foreshadowing.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: It is hard not to think of Laura’s plea to her tribe two weeks ago saying they should keep her because strength would not necessarily translate to wins and you never know when there would be a twist. The next week the Fans lost the Reward Challenge even with Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2 and were gifted Immunity when Brandon Hantz went, well, Brandon Hantz. Then the very next week, they switched up the tribes and now Sherri is stuck on a tribe with four Favorites and the only Fans with her are Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2. Speaking of Brandon, all he had to do was keep it together another day or two and he could have joined up with some Fan in a new tribe either vote Philip out or be in a tribe with no Philip. But that is not the Hantz way. And it is interesting that Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2 managed to be on a tribe with the two on the outskirts of the Favorite tribe which makes you wonder if they stay loyal to the Favorites or jump ship. But after the challenge, they may never have to make that decision.

I do not know what was more surprising: that Special Agent Philip Sheppard admitting he never went to college, what exactly are the requirements for the FBI, or Julia spoke for the first time and was not voted off. I pegged her as the token contestant this season that does not get any screen time until the episode they are voted off. Maybe that will turn out to be Brenda this season. One more thing, Corrine’s love for gay homosexuals really bordered on creepy. I was really hoping that after one of her numerous comments on the subject the camera cut to Michael, who I not even remember up to this point even talking about his sexuality, who would say something like get this crazy chick away from me.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Subugatory: This season has not been as entertaining as the first mostly because they have chosen to focus too much on the adults (the show needs more Dalia) but it was almost worth the extra old people storylines just to hear George’s rock version of Bump N' Grind.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

The Americans: Well that was an interesting plot twist with Philip all but asking Elizabeth for a divorse. Although I do not agree with him that the KGB would agree with him that it would be okay because they are not really married in their eyes to begin with so there is no need to get a divorce. But as they slowly become more American (Philip even faster), I have to wonder at what point, if ever, do they switch side like suggested in the premiere.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/3/13

Shameless: When Papa Milcovich called in “The Russian” I thought, uh oh, those boys are in some real trouble. Nope, the Russian was just a prostitute brought in to sex the gay out of them. And that did not even rank in the top two most offensive parts of the show this week. Number one would be having sex with your mother-in-law while your wife gets you aroused because a turkey baster did not work. And then there was Frank holding his clean urine in his mouth for who knows how long.

House of Lies: I used to think the pre-teen stripper routine would be the most offensive dance sequence from Little Miss Sunshine would be the most offensive dance I would ever see involving kids, but now Roscoe and his posse takes the top spot. Congratulation… I think?

How I Met Your Mother: I really hope that some savvy producer saw this and realizes it is about time for a Weekend at Bernie's reboot (something I have pushed for the last couple years). Maybe even Judd Apatow who would go ahead and have Jason Segal play the Andrew McCarthy role (though it would be better to have someone like Seth Rogan take on Jonathan Silverman part instead of Ted Mosby). Then just bring in Jim Carrey as Bernie. It is a surprise no studio has yet hired me to run their reboot department.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: Only the Ewing’s would know the best way to overcome armed thugs would to fake(?) a fight with each other.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Bunheads: It was a little weird that after an entire episode about a group of girls thinking about losing their virginity, they choreograph a big dance sequence around Makin' Whoopie. And for those not sure what the difference between boys and girls, the girls plan for weeks, if not month or years, like in the episode, guys just want it to happen anywhere with anyone, preferably as soon as possible.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.

Castle: Not as cool as Liam Neeson’s “skills” speech, but I liked the French dude’s speech to the microphone on the wall. Too bad he turned out to be a chicken and had to die. And we finally got to meet papa castle (shame on the promo monkeys for spoiling that reveal last week), it was teased a couple seasons ago that he worked deep cover. And really, if Stana Katic ever got bored with the show, I would not a mind a Castle and Castle spy spin-off. Or throw in Alexis and make it Castle Cubed.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Deception: I really hope that it does not turn out that Julian’s booty called turned out to be Vivian’s murderer. That would be as dumb as Rosie Larson’s aunt accidentally killing her.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Plaster all those annoying phrases with the pound sign on the screen as much as you want, I do not believe that was Toby out in the woods until I see a face. I am more inclined to believe that was Detective Waldon under the cap. But my favorite part of the show was when Hanna pushed the cop car into the lake. I was really hoping that it would sink about a foot before she realized that lake was not deep enough to cover an entire car.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Lying Game: I am not surprised Ted would place flowers on the grave of someone who is blackmailing him, but I just do not see him as a murderer / kidnapper. I have a feeling it will turn out the Ted feals responsible for the death, he just did not do it himself.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Justified: Wow, they actually killed Arlo off. And what a way to go… out fighting but hanging on long enough to tell his son to kiss him somewhere unsanitary one last time. Awesome. So if you had Arlo in your Who Is Drew Thompson Office Pool, you may want to stop planning your cruise you were going to purchase with winning (which is probably for the best). Granted Arlo was always the least likely to be Drew. So that leaves (or the people we have seen this season) the three white collar criminals that Boyd is shaking down and Sherriff Shelby. But I do not know why they are spending so much time having the ex wife looking at pictures because wouldn’t Drew have had copious amounts of plastic surgery by now? Wait a second, could Wynn Duffy be Drew Thompason?
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: I wonder if there was some heavy editing during the Immunity Challenge because why did they let Fratboy #2 to continue to try to throw the hook and keep missing when Fratboy #1 got it on his first try, and Shamar was also able to get it fairly quickly. But his inability was never brought up (which makes me think that it was heavy editing). Speaking of creative editing, I think it may have been some foreshadowing editing that Andrea talks about not telling the wrong person her plan to oust Corrine followed by her telling Brandon the plan. Did she not see his season? He blabbed his alliance’s secrets, what made her think he could keep a secret by someone he hates: i.e. absurdly attractive chicks.

Poor Shamar, he dumped on throughout Tribal Council, and probably rightfully so, but he was right in his memory of his conversation with Hope and all she had to do was just vote for Fratboy #2 and she would have stay. Granted it would had been awesome if there was a three way tie, and after a revote, a two-way tie which would had led to another revote.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: The neo-folk revival of Mumford and Sons have gotten so big that even Alex Dumphey is in a knockoff band. Actually I would not mind hearing more of the Eclectic Light Dorchestra.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Nashville: I feel as if I just complained about this, but what chick really gives guys, “I am sorry someone close to you just died” sex? C’mon, this just does not happen. It was almost as weird as Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys showing up for Deacon’s birthday party to hit on Rayna fresh off her divorse.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Community: It may be a long slog to the inevitable death of this zombie show, but at least we got to see Annie in an Octoberfest costume before it was thankfully put out of its misery.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: As a stats nerd, I have to call shenanigans. The probability is astronomical that every time someone had a clear advantage (like Moo in both challenges this week as a NASA employee) throughout the show has lost. Every single time. Either the show is playing up the strengths of each contestant or there is some manipulations going on behind the scenes. As for a prediction for who will win next week, I am going with Genevieve.