Zod Is Coming

Last season, much like every Smallville season finale, everyone in the Kansas farm town was in peril. Clark was transported to the artic, where the Fortress of Solitude eventually would be as Chloe tried to keep Lex from seeing Clark use the crystals all the while Smalville was bombarded by yet another meteor shower. His parents were holed up at gun point by the dude from Supernatural (obviously he didn’t make it out of the shower, Lana’s helicopter crashed right next to a downed UFO, then there was Lionel who looked as if his head would explode from the Kryptonian data that his brain seemed to be downloading.

Then like every season premiere, everything is resolved and all are safe by the time the credits roll. But they were quick to introduce a new menace from the Superman Universe, Brainiac. Granted much like Clack Kent has yet to go by his nickname, Brainiac only goes by his college professor alter ego Milton Fine. A couple more of Superman’s Super Friends also show up with Cyborg and Aquaman and we were also introduced to silver kryptonite which makes Clark go insane. But the best reunion of the season wasn’t that of anyone from the comic books, no, it was the reunion of Bo and Luke Duke when Tom Wopat showed up as Jonathan Kent’s old buddy and senator of the state who happened to have a penchant for strip clubs. And because the show never passes on a chance to make illusions and in-jokes to its own franchise, they even had the good ol’ boys ride together, jumping over things in their car.

The big new of the season was that, since Jor-El saved Clarks life, it would have to be exchanged for the life of someone he cared about. Seeing Lana’s car flip over, killing her in the process, after Lex chased after her after he kissed her was shocking. Well that was until Clark decided to get Jor-El to rewind that day so no one but Clark would remember it leading to the anti-climatic death of Papa Kent. As cheesy as that plot was, it did turn to be wat looks like the final straw that breaks up the Clark-Lex friendship as Clark blames Lex for the death of his father because had he not caused Lana’s death to begin with his dad may still be alive. Not that Lex remembers any of this.

The other theme of the season was to get Lois is as little amount of clothing as possible. First they got her all wet while stuffing her man made breasts in the smallest bikini top they can fine during the Auquman episode. Then later in the season they just went all they way by having her go undercover as a stripper albeit a patriotic one with her American flag outfit. Personally I much prefer my Los Lane with class, and this Lois Lane will most likely pale in comparison to the movie version, Kate Bosworth. Although maybe now that she is working for Martha the senator, she will continue to wear the busniess suits we usually seen past Lois in.

This was also the season they destroyed Lana Lang. After last season when they finally gave her an actual storyline with her being possessed by her witch ancestor that was quickly ignored as Lana went back to her damsel in distress routine of the earlier seasons. This season although Bad Lana did make an appearance during the vampire episode, where again the writers couldn’t pass up an in-joke with their guest star when former vampire James Marsters uttered the line, “There’s no such things as Vampires.” The lead vampire in the episode was not so coincidentally named Buffy. But I’m getting off track on Lana, her whole stand by her man at the end of the season with Lex got really annoying and almost made me wish that Clark didn’t save her in the original death sequence. But I have a feeling if Smallville makes it to a seventh season, Lana won’t. And with Chloe getting hotter by the season, it won’t be that big of loss of eye candy.

By the time the credits roll on the finale, once again everyone is in peril. Clark is stuck in the two-dimensional thing; Mama Kent and Lois are flying to not Washington, DC on Fine Airlines with no oxygen; Chloe and Lionel were dragged from his limousine by the mob of people that go crazy sole because the power went out all the while Lex, who is currently being possessed by Zod makes out with the now useless Lana. But naturally everything will be back to order by the second episode of next season.

Smallville 5.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Kids Don't Do Drugs Mmm-Kay

I think I may need an intervention. Granted I’ve never done drugs before, let me rephrase that, much like Big Head Barry, I’ve never knowingly done drugs. You see, back in college there three dorm mates of mine that continually talked about the time we all got high even though I didn’t remember the episode. I never knew marijuana could cause blackouts, but anyway.

Well it seems I fell off the wagon I never knew I was on. Let me start by saying I don’t watch commercials. When watching a show and a commercial comes on, I put on the picture and picture and browse the music channels, MTV2, FUSE, The Tube, while waiting for the episode to resume. Then a couple days ago I flipped onto VH1 Classics to see something that convinced mw that I took something that was making me hallucinate. What did I see? Carrie Underwood hanging out with the reunited Alice In Chains. Let me repeat that for those who thought they were hallucinating that last sentence. On my television, Carrie Underwood, reigning American Karaoker was hanging out with Grunge Gods Alice in Chains. Oh and adding to my dementia, also in the room was Duff McKagan of Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver, Dave Navarro of Jane's Addiction, and Phil Anselmo of Pantera. Yes, Phil (Expletive Deleted) Anselmo hanging out with Carrie Underwood.

Since I could believe what I was seeing, I taped the rest of the show and it turned out it this was part of a concert series put on by the network called Decades Rock Live (check out the link for clips) where they team up golden oldies acts with contemporary hit makes. And no, for those wondering at home, Carrie didn’t fill in for the late Laine Staley on Would? or Man in the Box. This particular show was in honor of Heart and Carrie’s only appearance was to duet with the band on Alone, which, my sources tell me, she did on that little karaoke show she did last year then hung back stage for an interview with all of the participants where she was seated just feet away from Phil Anselmo. As much as I loved Pantera in my formative years, he creeps me out just watching him on television and I can’t image how scared Carrie had to be.

As strange as a pairing as Underwood and Alice in Chains, the band hanging out with Heart shouldn’t come as much as a shock as both bands hail from Seattle. And if you are like me and mostly remember Heart from the 80’s, All I Want to Do Is Make Love to You phase, you need to remember that they could hold their own during the arena rock of the 70’s and Barracuda is one of the all time great rock songs. But still it was disturbing see in Ann Wilson (or is it Nancy? which one’s the, um, bigger one? Isn’t their a Carnie sister?) help out on vocal for Rooster with some dude named William Duvall who actually did a decent Staley impression. But the highlight is when Anselmo took over Staley’s vocals on Would?, which I consider the greatest song of the grunge era and it was as great as you can image and probably better. Hopefully this becomes a permanent thing and that Alice in Chains doesn’t pull a INXS and finds a karaoker to front their band (no offence to Carrie Underwood). Unfortunately Anselmo also took on Them Bones that didn't make onto the broadcast which had to be crazy.

While searching for information on this concert, I came up with some disturbing info, especially considering McKagan’s involvement, that Underwood routinely covers GnR’s Patience and Sweet Child o’ Mine on tour. I did get a hold of a version of the former and it is disturbing, and by disturbing I mean I can’t stop listening to it even though she totally messes up the ending and uses a violin where whistling should go. I once wanted to meet Carrie Underwood solely to have dirty, dirty sex with her, but after this revelations, I totally want to harass her about seeing the first performance of Alice and Chains… and to properly show her how to perform Patience.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 16

And we are down to possibly the last regular season Toss Up between the best two shows on television Lost (click to download last night’s episode, ?) and Veronica Mars. Over the summer I’m sure I’ll get around to a season long version, as for next year, we still need to wait for conformation for a third season of Veronica Mars (although my sources say “It’s a done deal”). If they continue to be on separate nights, I may do what I did last night, and run a preview version of my Veronica Mars analysis on my sister site, Scooter McGavin takes pictures then the regular Toss Up on Thursday. Now onto the Toss Up:

Dream Sequence
Lost: Eko sees Ana Lucia and his brother who both tell him to harass Locke about the ?. Coincidentally Locke also sees Eko’s brother in a wheelchair and Eko falling to his possible death.
Veronica Mars: Veronica dreams about the perfect graduation that includes not-sheriff Lamb in a crime dog costume, Dick going commando (and graduates), and Lily’s lesbian experience.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Flashbacks
Lost: Eko, for some reason in Australia, is sent to verify a miracle claim.
Veronica Mars: Veronica takes Beaver through his diabolical plan.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Dead
Lost: Ana Lucia didn’t make it out of Michael’s rampage from last week.
Veronica Mars: Mayor Goodwood blows up, Aaron gets what’s coming to him, and Beaver, after failing to take one plunge, is able to take a different one.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Not Quite Dead
Lost: Libby and Michael make it out of his rampage last week. Um, wait, strike that first one.
Veronica Mars: Lamb actually saves Keith’s life with his latest ego trip.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Losing Faith
Lost: After finding the Pearl hatch, Locke loses his faith in the island and his life in general.
Veronica Mars: After Aaron gets off; Veronica loses her faith in Santa, the Easter Bunny, angels among others.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Nicknames
Lost: Sawyer calls their escaped prisoner the artist formally known as Henry Gale.
Veronica Mars: Dick calls Beaver and Ghost World 12th Level Dorks.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Mastermind
Lost: Michael gets away with murder even though he missed Libby with a kill shot.
Veronica Mars: Beaver would have gotten away with it had it not been for that meddling Veronica.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Taking a Fall
Lost: Eko falls off a cliff; well at least he did in Locke’s dream.
Veronica Mars: Beaver takes the plunge off the cliff after he has nothing left to live for.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Back From the Dead
Lost: Eko’s brother appears to him in his dream. And if you believe flashback girl’s story, her too.
Veronica Mars: Lily appears to Veronica in her dream.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Back, But Not From the Dead
Lost: I don’t have confirmation, but I think it’s safe to assume that flashback chick’s father was Claire’s father.
Veronica Mars: Wallace’s mom shows up at graduation, but has no contact with Keith, and seems to be missing her other son. Could Wallace’s real life brother be broiled in contract disputes?
Winner: Lost


MIA
Lost: Jin, Sun, and has Claire been on since her flashback episode?
Veronica Mars: Jackie, Gia, and Madison are no where to be found at their graduation.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Young Love Dashed
Lost: Libby dies before her and Hurley could go on a first date.
Veronica Mars: Beaver dies after failing to deflower Mac.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Comic Relief
Lost: No laughs from Hurley because his girlfriend dies.
Veronica Mars: Dick wears a “Trust Me I’m Rich” t-shirt to graduation, slaps Ronnie’s butt and goes commando in Vee’s dream.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Hiding Spot
Lost: Sawyer successfully kept his stash buried in his tent.
Veronica Mars: Principal Clemmons unsuccessfully hinds his password under his stapler.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Brotherly Love
Lost: Even though he was responsible for his death, Eko’s brother helps him find the Pearl Station.
Veronica Mars: Dick constant harassment most likely help Beaver’s decision to jump and doubtfully will help Dick posthumously.
Winner: Lost


TV Viewing
Lost: Locke and Eko watch Jack wonder around the hatch.
Veronica Mars: Woody watches Dukes of Hazzard in his underwear.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Companionate Evil Dude
Lost: Michael constantly checks up on Libby’s condition.
Veronica Mars: Beaver lets her call her dad to say goodbye.
Winner: Veronica Mars


James Bond Moment
Lost: After having sex, the hot chick dies.
Veronica Mars: Before killing the hero, the villain lets them explain their plot.
Winner: Veronica Mars


?
Lost: The name of the episode.
Veronica Mars: What we were left with plenty for next season.
Winner: Lost


Not really that fair this week with the Veronica Mars finale going up against a regular Lost one granted I bet more went on during the one hour Veronica Mars finale than will go down during the three hour Lost finale. This week on Lost we open with the repressions of last week’s rampage. Ana Lucia’s dead, Libby’s close to it, and Not-Henry is nowhere to be found. Nothing really interesting happens with this whole storyline as basically waits around to see whether or not Libby dies except Kate learns where Sawyer was keeping his stash.

The meat of the episode surrounds Eko being told by Ana Lucia and his brother to get Locke to telling about ?. I wonder if the monster is involved in all of this because it did scan Eko and supposedly Locke and they both saw Eko’s brother through dreams. ? turns out to be yet another hatch, this one Pearl where the habitants were to watch the people in the original hatch. Much like the people in the original hatch, the people in this hatch aren’t privy to any information and are supposed to blindly follow directions and once done they were catch a ferry somewhere. To where, I don’t know, but wherever it is I bet they have a hand written map there. The most important information here is that the orientation had a copyright of 1980 (or close to it). So this has been going on for at least twenty five years. The Pearl was suspiciously empty though so maybe the conductors of the experiment stopped long ago. I was surprised they didn’t find Desmond down there as I fully expect to see him again this season.

In the flashback I pretty sure we see Claire’s physic who fully admits to being a fraud. I fully expected to see him again sometime, but I was shocked that it was under that condition as I originally thought we’d see more castaways patron his business. Now I’m wondering if his last minute advise that Claire give her children up for adoption in LA was bought and paid for someone who wanted her, or more specifically Aaron, on the island.

Now we have yet another death with Libby before we even get a back story from her. But this death does reek of character issues for the actress even though the producers said they had no more storylines for her. Hello, she was in the same mental hospital with Hurley. Really she didn’t even have any storylines this season either so why have her character anyways? Maybe this is all a hoax, and if her pilot doesn’t get picked up, maybe the whole evil twin sister theory that has been floating around the internet will be real and evil-Libby may just turn out to be the He the Others talk about. (Mmm, who is He? Sounds like a good Oddsmakers. Keep an eye out for that.)


As for Veronica Mars, first off I want to point out that even though I was way off on who crashed the bus, I totally called Jackie with child, Weevil being picked up at graduation, Veronica getting Le Clap from someone who raped her at the infamous Shelly Pomroy party, and Aaron Echolls getting killed. Granted I did pull back on the last one after suggesting there would be a “Who Killed Aaron” mystery next season with it being revealed that a not so dead Lynn Echolls did it. Then I realized that no one would care who killed Aaron because everyone would just be happy he was gone. But the writers were smart enough to solve that dilemma by going ahead and telling us who did it right away, leaving no mystery.

And speaking of Aaron’s death, Duncan and Clarence’s exchange, “CW?” “It’s a done deal” has to be an admission that Veronica Mars will be on the CW schedule next season, right? Rob Thomas isn’t going to put that that line in if it wasn’t, in fact, a done deal or if the powers that be at the network gave him the go ahead, would he? Even though I haven’t believed any of the speculation or supposed insider information, thanks to that line, my hopes are official raised for a third season. The only potential problem though is that the line was a blatantly stolen from Arrested Development’s (I actually discussed with Rob how great the show was and he also admitted that Big Dick’s shredding exit scene was an homage to that show) “It’s Showtime” line and see how that turned out.

Then of course there was the whole bus crash thing and it looks like sales of “I (Heart) Beaver” t-shirts will be on the decline. But then again Duke lacrosse gear went through the roof lately. (If you want yours, check out Ducky’s site.) I’m still not entirely sold that the Beav would kill a bus load of innocent people just to get two people. Then I totally missed how Veronica jumped from seeing Beaver’s name not pictured to figuring out he was a murderer. Then why after all these years living with it, why kill Mayor Goodwood? And why after finding a bomb under his car would Woody not sweep everything in his hangar too? But anyways.

On the subject of Mayor Goodwood, how great is it that he watches Dukes of Hazzard? If that’s the last television show I see before I die, at least I’ll die a happy man. And the throwing of the deer head was classic; that would be something Officer Mahoney would do as a last line of defense.

Then we had yet another dream sequence in what may of happened had Lily not been murdered thus daddy’s still sheriff, mommy’s still around and sober, and Lily is still a dirty, dirty slut. One thing I missed though is that I never realized that Lily was older than everyone. For all this time I thought she was Duncan’s little sister yet at the same time the same age as Veronica. Oh well. I was disappointed that Logan turned out to be her dream boyfriend. But at least Dick made the cut in her dream. And what does it say about Ronnie that she had him going commando in her dream. And the best part of the episode is when Dick slapped Vee’s butt after graduation. Seriously how long until she gets a little Dick in her life?


Next week on Lost, the first hour of the three hour finale starts with Michael leading the everyone to the Others. I smell a set up. And who was the black chick in the previews, she does look familiar. Next week on Veronica Mars they are showing a repeat of season two première, and best episode of the year contender, Normal is the Watchword. Would they show repeats of a show that is not coming back next year? I noticed that One Tree Hill was conspicuously absent from the WB’s schedule this week and next after last week's finale. We will find out the winners and losers next Thursday when the inaugural CW schedule is announced. But keep in mind a reliable source of mine said “CW? It’s a done deal.”

Let's Impeach the President for Lying

For the past five years singers and other entertainment folk have bombarded this presidency and his administration with metaphors and veiled references about how poorly they have ran this country. The problem with that is George Bush isn’t too good at recognizing metaphors and other alliterations. But finally we have an artist who has laid things in such a simplistic way even Bush can understand with the release of Neil Young’s Living with War that includes such lyrics like, “Let’s impeach the president for lying” and, “Let’s impeach the president for spying.” Yep, no metaphors there. And I dare you not to sing along after hearing the song once.

Even though the album is released just months after Prairie Wind, basically Harvest redux, Living with War has very little in common with that album. Instead it quickly conjures up images of one of Young’s biggest hit, Rockin’ in the Free World that took aim at the elder Bush’s social programs most memorably with the line “We got a thousand points lights fore the homeless man.” Young bring the intensity from that song to this whole set with guitar distortion that reminds us why he is considered the Godfather of grunge. Although the album is capped off with a great choral retention of America the Beautiful that even the few Bush-backers that are left can love.

But is still the lyrics that makes the album. On The Restless Consumer he give a laundry list of things we don’t need, most notably no more lies then asks, “How can you pay for war and leave us dieing?” Sadly we will never get an answer. And in the interest of fairness, Young even lets Bush speak for himself on Let’s Impeach the President when he inserts lines from his various speeches. Granted Young does this to point out the numerous flip flops that the president has done most notably when he goes from calling Osama bin Laden public enemy #1 but later admits he doesn’t think about him anymore. I know I have had issues with Bush-bashers lately, but this is an album everyone needs to listen to.

Song to Download - Let’s Impeach the President (you can also stream the whole album in it’s entirely at neilyoung.com)

Living with War gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

California Show Your Teeth

The Red Hot Chili Peppers invented the rap/metal genre a good decade before the term was coined, not that the band’s music is simplistic as the sub-genre would suggest as the Peppers also include elements of funk and jazz among others. This could explain how the band has survived, releasing nine albums as other rap/rockers like Limp Bizkit and Korn have disappeared into virtual obscurity. And the Peppers add to their funky legacy with Stadium Arcadium.

But ever since John Frusciante rejoined the band, the Peppers have gone on a mellower path with their last albums, Californication and By the Way. And even though Rick Rubin, who was at the help of the break out album, Blood Sugar Sex Magic, is back, the band continues the softer terrain. Even the louder songs on the set never reach the bombast of Give it Away or other songs that go even further back in their catalog. Lyrically, Anthony Kiedis also shows growth from the guy who was the master of the single entendre fifteen years ago (although the jury’s still out on how dirty She’s Only 18 is, but Hump de Bump isn’t as suggestive as you might think). Of course they had to grow up sometime because no one wants to see a dude on the wrong side of forty wearing nothing but a sock. Then again, I don’t want to see that from a dude on the right side of forty. But anyways.

If there is a downside to Staduim Arcadium is that, like almost every double album, it is way too long clocking in at over two hours and twenty-eight tracks. Then again the album doesn’t plunge into the pit falls that has brought down other recent double disks by not dividing the album into specific genres like party songs and slow jams so both disk sounds like two full length Pepper albums, and the two disks, Mars and Venus, have no intrinsic means to them. As expected with this many tracks, there are a few songs that quickly got old and I found my skipping songs like Snow (Oh Now) and So Much I after a few listenings.

Other songs have a very distinct Peppers song so much that when I first heard Tell Me Baby I thought it was Don’t Stop. There a few songs that utilizes a horn sections reminiscent to elder funker Parliament and much to the pleasure of Christopher Walken, Readymade has a killer cowbell part. But in the end, the set could have been scaled down to a single disk, although not getting rid of the up tempo songs, as there were too many mid tempo songs bogging down the two disks.

Song to Download - Readymade

Stadium Arcadium gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Oddsmakers: Veronica Mars Finale Edition

A couple weeks ago I compiled a list of suspects for who could have crashed the bus on Veronica Mars. Now in honor of the finale tomorrow, I have updated that list, so of the odds have changed over that time most notably the people in the Casablancas Clan who have looked guiltier and guiltier by the week. Also I had to add Lucky who we had not seen at that point. Right now, my money’s on Lamb with the Manning’s to place and the Fitzpatrick’s to show. So who you got? Feel free to place your bets in the comment section and make sure to turn into Veronica Mars Tuesday at 9:00 to see who actually did it.^*


(Vice) Principal Clemmons
Target: Everyone
Why: His first attempt at ousting the Principal hoping that if a bunch of students went over the cliff, he’d resign. Also there were more than a few kids that were frequent visitors to his office.
Why Not: He has a kid their age and wouldn’t take out others being a parent himself.
Odds: 950:1


The Indians
Target: Terrence Cook via Ms. Dumass
Why: Terrence owes them a lot of money and sent a message threw his girlfriend, and they seem untouchable with ties to the judge
Why Not: Too obscure, only been in two episode
Odds: 900:1


The Gay Mafia
Target: The dude who was going to have the outing of all outings (for the life of me I can’t remember his name) and possibly taking out Marcos too.
Why: To stop the outing of all outings.
Why Not: Well since Mayor Goodwood has his own caterfory, it’s unlikely Mr Wu would go after gay dude when it seems everything was settled.
Odds: 750:1


Sheriff Lamb
Target: Dick Casablancas, the poor
Why: To get rid of Madison’s off again/on again boyfriend, poor people commit crime, less poor people, less crime. Then he can gallantly solved the case as he was quick to convict the bus driver then Terrence.
Why Not: Dude’s lazy and not that bright.
Odds: 80:1


The Manning’s
Target: Meg, Duncan and their unborn child.
Why: Not to be shamed by their love child and to kill the sinners.
Why Not: She’s still their kid.
Odds: 75:1


The Field
(For those not familiar with the phrase, that means everyone else not mentioned so if you think it’s Madison Sinclair, Wallace’s Mom (picture coutesy of UPN/Warner Bros), Corny or some other harebrain choice, this is your category)
Odds: 60:1


Terrence Cook
Target: Ms. Dumass
Why: She knew a lot of dirt on him that would put him on the out with his fiancé and keep him out of the Hall of Fame.
Why Not: Like Clemmons has a kid the same age as the ones on the bus many of which would be fans of his.
Odds: 50:1


Not-So-Lucky
Target: Woody via Goody
Why: It sure seems that Mayor Goodwood had a penchant for young boys, Lucky being one of them and his military training could come in handy with bomb building. And the post-war syndrome could ease the thought of collateral damage.
Why Not: He was at the VA at the time of the crash and, well, he’s already dead, so that means it would be hard for Veronica to confront the killer.
Odds: 45:1

The PCH’ers
Target: Logan
Why: If I’m not mistaken, Logan was supposed to be on the bus, he was in Yearbook last year and since he just got off for the murder of Felix, retribution was in order.
Why Not: One of there own, Cervando was also on the bus.
Odds: 25:1


Aaron Echolls/Curly Moran
Target: Veronica
Why: She was the key witness in his murder trial.
Why Not: Don’t think Aaron would kill a whole bus load of kids just to get one especially since it was almost a given he would walk anyways.
Odds: 10:1


A Member of the Casablancas Clan (picture coutesy of UPN/Warner Bros.)
Target: The poor.
Why: They hate the poor because they bring down property values. Not to mention Beaver and Kendall look guiltier by the week. And Beaver being cut out of the email sent to Woody seems the most logical right now.
Why Not: Not that bright aside from Beaver who is the only one that seems to have a conscience.
Odds: 5:1


Woody Goodman
Target: The poor, kids he may have had extra curricular activities with.
Why: Civil unrest that killing the poor on the bus would cause helping his upcoming proposal of incorporation. Also it would cover up any impropriates he did with young boys on the bus.
Why Not: Too risky considering his daughter was supposed to be on the boss. Plus I still think he was the target in the first place by taking out his daughter.
Odds: 2:1


The Fitzpatrick’s
Target: Gia, Logan, Cervando, Ms. Dumass
Why: Gia - to send a message to her father; Logan - o tie up loose ends with the Felix murder; Cervando - maybe didn’t pay back his drug money; Ms. Dumass - to send a message to Terrence or because she knew too much.
Why Not: Good question, um, maybe someone beat them to the idea although they have been suspiciously quiet since killing Thumper.
Odds: 3:2


^* This game is strictly for entertainment purposes, no money is meant to change hands. Unless of course you would like to donate to the Scooter McGavin is Poor Fund.


And now here is the final press release of the season, hopefully the next one I get is announcing a third season on the CW (picture courtesy of UPN/Warner Bros.):


AFTER FINALLY IDENTIFYING THE CULPRIT OF THE BUS CRASH, VERONICA ENDS UP PUTTING HERSELF IN GRAVE DANGER, ON THE SEASON FINALE OF "VERONICA MARS," TUESDAY, MAY 9 ON UPN

Steve Guttenberg ("The Poseidon Adventure") Returns As Mayor Woody Goodman; Tina Majorino ("Napoleon Dynamite") Returns As Veronica's Classmate Mac; Harry Hamlin ("L.A. Law") and Charisma Carpenter ("Angel") Also Return

"Not Pictured" -- After learning the identity of the perpetrator responsible for the bus crash, Veronica hurries to warn others, but ends up putting herself in an extremely perilous situation, on the season finale of VERONICA MARS, Tuesday, May 9 (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on UPN. John Kretchmer directed the episode from a script written by series' creator and Executive Producer Rob Thomas, and John Enbom.

Meanwhile, Keith enlists Veronica's help in his ongoing investigation of Woody (guest star Steve Guttenberg) and asks her go undercover to get some vital information from Woody's lawyer. Later, when graduation day finally comes around, Neptune seniors celebrate at a huge party at the Neptune Grand.

Scooter Update: Be sure to check out Ducky's exclusive interview with Miss Jackie herself, Tessa Thompson.

One Angry Scooter

There are very few ways to fulfill your civic duties these days. Since I don’t have enough money to get elected to public office, my options are dwindled down to two things, voting and jury duty, and last week I got to do both. First the easier of the two, I voted in the republican primary for the first time since distancing from the party for aligning themselves with one of the worst presidents ever only to show how out of touch with the party by picking the wrong horses in every race that had more than one candidate. Seriously, Ken Blackwell won? But enough boring you with Ohio politics.

As I reported last November (see I Rocked the Vote, I Think), the state when with the evil ATM voting machines. They changed my voting place this time around and this place went with alternating ATM’s with every other one turned the opposite way so there was less space, but still not enough to keep from looking over at you neighbor. And it’s never a good sign one someone is close enough to crack a “Did you get all lemons?” joke when your ATM tabulates your votes. But at least, since this was a primary, there was no wait as the place was a virtual ghost town aside from the comedian across from me.

Then there was the longer of the civics lesson last week as I got picked for jury duty last week. I had been summons twice before, once I was in line to be the alternate, so once the first person got tossed in the selection process, I was up, and promptly got tossed myself. It was an underage drinking case and I had just graduated from college and apparently the prosecutor must have taking Animal House too literal and though all college students were alcoholics so that ended my first jury duty experience. Then last year I got the letter, but there were no court cases that week so I never had to appear.

As for this time around, I was juror number three and since the first two didn’t show up, I was first one in the jury box and met both lawyers litmus test as I survivor their six juror objections. The selection process took most of the first day and had to break for lunch before anyone got dismissed. Not that they fed us or anything as I took the time to hang out in my car and listen to Jim Rome as I chowed down on some McNuggets.

The case boiled down to an old guy ramming into a high school dude who failed to yield the right away, which had already be decided when we got to the case. So this was a civil case, so the plaintiff only had to prove was a burden of proof and there was only eight of us, and a alternate. The case move really slowly and there seemed to be a lot of time where the people involved in the case were discussing thing with the judged while we were sequestered in the jury room. Speaking of the judge, the honorable guy seemed to care less about things. He constantly cracked jokes and spent a most of the trial on hip laptop, doing what, I don’t know. And when he wasn’t on it, he had his feet up on the bench or started wondering around the courthouse.

Then after three days of testimonies, we retired to the jury room. I was less than thrilled with the other jurors who routinely went off topic or talked about things that should have had no bearing on the case. Then came the hard part of assigning a dollar amount to pain and suffering as well as other intangibles, but at least, since we were in the deliberation phase, we got free lunch out of it, and it was enough to make it dinner that night too. I was disappointed to find out that we were giving no guideline on how to come up with a number because I’m sure it’s hard for any random person off the street to do so, so it would be nice if the government would help us civilians out. But alas, that didn’t happen so he had to come up with a number from scrap aside from an example from the plaintiff’s attorney that was extremely high. Being a heartless and ruthlessly cruel person, I was surprised to find that my number amount that I threw out was the highest of the group. And when, remembering my statistics days that it was much more accurate way to calculate things, I suggested that we take the median, I basically suggested to simply throw out my number.

So after about five hours, the Forman gave the decision to the decision and my civic duty, which will net me sixty dollars whenever the county decides to send me my check, was done until November when I undoubtedly will pick more losers. As for jury duty, hopefully the next bout will be the easier, beyond a reasonable doubt case.