Showing posts with label Surreal Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Surreal Life. Show all posts

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Best of the Week vol. XLII


Quote of the Week: I feel like a total idiot right now. It’s pretty terrible to be voted out by your own Idol… Worst than that, don’t ever trust women, ever, ever, ever. (J.T., Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains)

Song of the Week: Night Moves – Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band (How I Met Your Mother)

Big News of the Week: A Melancholy Happy Trails to Guru: A sad for all the old school hip hop fans out there as half of the seminal rap group Gang Starr succumbed to cancer. In the early days of rap, every MC had one of two flows, party guy or in your face rap. Then Guru came broke onto the scene and along with Slick Rick was the first at a laid back style that inspired the like of Q-Tip, Digital Planets, and even gangsta rappers like Snoop Dogg and Notorious B.I.G. also smoothed it out for a few songs. Gang Starr also pioneered, in thanks to Guru’s partner DJ Preimer, sampling jazz for their beats which was a perfect fix with Guru’s rap style. For anyone looking to get into Gang Starr (which I highly recommend), start with Mass Appeal, then move onto the album it is from, Hard to Earn.



Free Download of the Week: America: The Story of Us – Sneak Peek (iTunes): Here is a chance to take a look at the upcoming epic twelve part series on the history of this country. Episodes start tomorrow on History and will run every night until Memorial Day with each showing up for download the day after on iTunes.

Deal of the Week: Last Days to Save: Up to 52% Off Television DVDs (Firefly, The Office, V: The Original Miniseries)

Video of the Week: “Friday night there will be a bond formed between and among you that will never be broken. You look at each other and you ask yourselves gentlemen: What kind of a man are you?”

Never Broken


Next Week Pick of the Week: Happy Town, Wednesday at 10:00 on ABC: ABC has been trying to replicate Lost almost since it has been on (remember Invasion?) and with its last season, the channel stepped up its attempt to replace it. But It looks like Flash Forward is going to join Invasion in the one and done scrapheap and V might make it to a second season either. So ABC’s last hope may lay in the lap in Happy Town to carry on the “genre” tradition which even features Lost vet M.C. Gainey (who will also show up on Justified a day earlier next week which sadly make me think we won’t get to see him in sideways world). Check back later this week to see if I think Happy Town could make it as Lost’s heir apparent.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CXXIII


Tool Academy: Human lie detector? Seriously? What is most disturbing is they said the chick’s testimony holds up in the court of law. I’m fidgety in any situation, whether I am lying or not. Hopefully I am never falsely but in that kind of situation. You can stream recent episodes over at vh1.com. You can also download Tool Academy on iTunes.

Chuck: I cannot express how much I hate when an episode starts in the third act then pulls the “X Amount of Time Earlier” place card. Is it anymore surprising that it was Casey that shot the double agent had we not heard the gun shot a half an hour earlier? Not for me. At least Big Mike mentoring Casey on how to deal in real life was entertaining. Well except for eating after Jeff took a bite out of the sandwich, that was gross. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: Do the writers even watch their own show? Or did they just conveniently forget that Barney wasn’t always the suave businessman we know today but was once a tree hugging hippie and certainly had a few bad pictures taken during his soul patch phase, because there is no way to take a good picture when you have a soul patch (um, not that I know from personal experiences or anything). You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I have been waiting for it for three season and we finally got a drunken Sheldon. Unfortunately Penny is for some reason still with Leonard so we did not get my dream scenario of Sheldon waking up next to her. You can download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Greek: Arg, how could they break up Laura and Dale the same episode we find out about them? Hopefully Dale comes to his senses and doesn’t mind going back into the (pantry) closet. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Greek on iTunes


Castle: Oh snap. Certainly they didn’t actually kill off Beckett (I hope) but that doesn’t make the ending any less shocking. Should be interesting how next week plays out. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes. Also be sure to check out my chat with Stana Katic.

Lost: Much like a We Are the World remake, I thought a Richard Alpert centric episode would be fool proof, but leave it to Lost (and Lil Wayne’s auto-tune) to make me look like a fool for thinking that. To make things worse, we finally get the big reveal of what is up with the island (I think) and I still left the episode disappointed. First we get all of two minutes in present day. Then for the flashback, instead of a full two hundred(ish) years of Alpert’s existence we only get a less than a year in the life of Richard. What about how Richard recruited all the Others like Whitmore, Eloise Hawking, Zeke et. al. There was some much they could have done with this hour and I left feeling cheated. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Lost on iTunes


Justified: Whereas most procedurals seem to deal with criminal masterminds, it looks like Justified will be dealing with the criminals on the short end of the gene pool which I am all for. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Parenthood: Note to self: if I ever find myself having to talk to a kid who spends too much time in the show, do not, under any circumstance, start quoting Woody Allen. But I wonder if showing this episode would work instead. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Mercy: I was wondering when the insurance company would come for Sonia for killing the old lady a couple weeks ago. I really didn’t think that it would just go away as easily as they planned it. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Mercy on iTunes.

Modern Family: A pretty flat episode with little to laugh at this week aside from some of the Cameron/Gloria scenes. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Modern Family on iTunes


Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains: It is time to add someone else into the pantheon of Dumb Survivor Moves. In fact the only two dumber movies in Survivor history that Tyson letting Russell convince him to vote for Parvati would be Erik giving up the Immunity Necklace to be promptly voted out and James getting voted out with two Immunity Idols in his pocket.

But Russell showed this week why he shouldn’t even be in the discussion for Greatest Survivor History and that is because he plays the dumbest social game. I bet one of the biggest reasons he didn’t win was because at the last tribal to play it, he whipped out the Immunity Necklace and didn’t even bother to play it. And this week, instead of simply giving his Idol to Parvati before Tribal, he had to make this grand douchebag pronouncement before doing so. He is lucky the other tribe didn’t get to sit in for it. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.

Survivor on iTunes


Community: Annie as a bad cop? Yes please. But Glendale should be happy that April Fools Day got banned because it is the most worthless holiday. Pranks are not at all funny when they are expected. That is why I pull all of mine on March 31st when people least expect it. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Monday, March 26, 2007

The Fight to the Famousest


Surreal Life Fame GamesMuch like slowing down to check out a car crash, I feel oddly compelled to check out all the cheesy VH1 reality show. The granddaddy of them of course being The Surreal Life which had it start of the now defunct UPN but moved to Video Hits One that started the channel’s all reality most of the time scheduling philosophy. And like most reality shows that started earlier this decade, The Surreal Life finally got its own All-Stars edition in the form of The Surreal Life: Fame Games.

The ten Fame Gamers, as host Robin Leach liked to call them, were culled from all six seasons yet surprisingly didn’t include any of the past token reality contestant which every season features as they are the biggest fame mongers of them all. An even bigger surprise was that VH1 staple, Flavor Flav was nowhere to be found. Instead we get some of the more memorable housemates in the series history including Vanilla Ice, Brigitte Nielsen, and Chyna.

The contests themselves were pretty absurd with rules seem to shift and make little sense in the first place. But I guess the show was more about the journey than who actually win. The start of the show started with them dividing the contestants into “The A-List” and “The B-List” even though for many of them, being on “The B-List” would be an upgrade. This was a waste as they were haphazardly thrown back together on “The A-List” shortly after.

The judging for each contest was just as absurd especially when they had celebrity judges like when Kennedy was brought in to figure had the most famous friends with the lowest being eliminated in the only round that didn’t have a “Back to Reality” game to determine it. What was worse is they let Kathy Griffin solely decide who won the $100,000 prize, a prize that actually went to the winner, not charity unlike most celebrity edition. It is something sad that Traci Bingham was the actual winner.

Even though he didn’t win, Vanilla Ice remained the star of the show. It was guaranteed that every episode Ice would do something stupid. It was an added treat whenever he would do one in front of Robin just to see his “I didn’t know I would have to baby-sit during this gig” face. The silliest of his tirade is when he got caught in a gay homosexual scandal during the paparazzi challenge as if anyone would question his sexuality from looking at that picture. And he save the best for last when Ron Jeremy swore on his mother’s grave that he wouldn’t vote Ice to go home only to do just that. Classic. How soon until VH1 gives Ice his own demolition reality show?

The Surreal Life: Fame Games gets a Terror Alert Level on my Terror Alert Scale.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

First Impressions: The Surreal Life Fame Games


Surreal Life Fame GamesWe all have our reality guilty pleasures; some enjoy watching dudes singing karaoke while others enjoy watching rich kids talk about how hot they are. Some people somehow find enjoyment on watching people sitting around a house and do nothing 24/7. Me, my reality bane is watching has been celebrities humiliate themselves in the hopes that they may become relevant again. And no show has been better at humiliating celebrities than the six seasons of The Surreal Life that takes singers and actors from our formative years and sticks them in a house with reality stars and other people that are less famous. Now much like the show it ripped off, The Real World, The Surreal Life is bringing back some of it’s former contestants for The Surreal Life Fame Games.

The cast of the Surreal Life Fame Games at their first gameAs seen with the “game” played in the first episode, the show is about how much fame one has or what they will do to hang onto it. In the inaugural game, the ten Surreal Lifers had to be picked by a group of thirty random people to get a picture taken with. Who had Vanilla Ice getting the most photos? But anyways. Then the bottom three with the least amount of pictures would then have a mini game where the two losers would be banished to the “B-List” which, let’s face it, would be an upgrade for pretty much everyone in the cast. But they let the non-losers pretend they are still on the “A-List” in the lavish part of the house where the “B-List” part looked more like a low rent motel.

Mini-Me as da plane dudeIronically the biggest fame seekers, the token reality star, none of them were selected for these games. Instead the contestants were primarily made up of the token actor from the eighties and the token rocker or rapper. From season one we get Emmanuel Lewis (Webster). From the second season there is Vanilla Ice (Ice, Ice Baby), Traci Bingham (Baywatch), and Ron Jeremy (porn). After Jordon Knight (NKOTB) dropped out for personal reasons Brigitte Nielsen (Red Sonja) is the lone representative from season three. Chyna Doll (wrestler) and Verne Troyer (Mini-Me), who replaced Knight, are from season four. Pepa (Push It) is the only one who survived the infamous season five. Then C.C. DeVille (Poison) and Andrea Lowell (Playboy TV) are from the latest season.

Wait, no Flavor Flav? How can VH1 do a reality show without Flavor Flav?

Back to the game, I’m really not sure what the rules of the game are. Supposedly someone gets kicked off the show until there is only one celeb left. But all that happened was two contestants, Chyna and Mini-Me, were banished to the B-List but weren’t eliminated, or so I took from it. And instead of all the other celebrity editions game show, the person the wins gets to keep the money, and is not playing for charity which is something cheap. Couldn’t they have at least gone halfsies?

Verdict: Complete and utter trash. And I’ll be watching every week despite the disturbing Brigitte and Chyna hookup in the first episode. Go Webster! The Surreal Life Fame Games airs Sundays at 9:00 on VH1 and will most likely be repeated contantly throughout the week and will probably have twenty marathons before Groundhog’s Day.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

First Impressions - The Surreal Life 6


The cast of The Surreal Life 6In the midst of the HBO free preview and watching the first two episodes of Big Love (scroll down for a review), I forgot all about the return of the guiltiest of pleasures on television Sunday, . But luckily it is on VH1 so it’s been own about ten times since it premiered and will most likely be on another twenty-five time before the next new episode. Now in its sixth incarnation, this season is shaping up to be the best. And that says a lot considering the last two seasons included the Omarosa vs. Janice debacle and the all time greatest television moment, Mini Me, buck naked, on his scooter, peeing in the corner.

This season’s cast sports arguably the biggest star in the show’s history, token washed up actor that everyone remembers as George Jefferson. Well everyone except token model Andrea Lowell who had to ask who the tanned guy was. Then there are possibly the most volatile cast mates in former hood ornament and the transgender member of the Arquette clan Alexis. I was on the floor when the doorman asked her/him how it’s like to have Cox in the family.

The Surreal Life Reality Hunk PagentFilling out the cast are token washed up rocker C.C. Deville of and the Steve Harwell of . Also Carol Brady will be dropping by everyday as the house therapist. And as a twist, this season’s token reality star was chosen via a man pageant by the other cast mates. The most notable of the group was former karaoker and boy toy . I’m actually surprised that with his notoriety VH1 didn’t just put him in the house as no one else was nearly as famous as he was. There was a Big Brother and Survivor alum, neither of which I’ve heard of even though I’ve seen all the Survivors. Then there was Ace of The Real World: Paris. But he was beat out by Tough Enough champion Maven Huffman, who was recently released from his contract that he won on the show.

The first episode was your usual pleasantries of most shows of this type where they chose their roommates and get to know each other, so the claws usually don’t come out until the second episode, and judging by the preview of the upcoming weeks, there will be many claws out this season. Hopefully everyone learns soon to hide Tawny’s shoes from her, just ask Chuck Finley about that. That’s not to say there weren’t any entertain parts of the first episode. In a page out of page book, Hemsley’s stuttering is so bad they had to subtitle him and eventually do it grammatically for an extra laugh. And what could be an interesting development, I’m not entirely sure Maven realized yet that Alexis has the same parts as him yet. And on that note, Alexis propositioning Andrea for the “last ride” before his/her operation was one of the funniest moments on television so far this year.

Verdict: Much like a crack addict, I just can’t stop. Plus I think we are getting closer and closer to our first reality death, whether it be homicide or overdose (who wants to bet either C.C., Steve, or Tawny fall off the wagon during the show, I not all three?) and I don’t want to miss that.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I Wish the Real World Would Stop Hassling Me v.2


The latest installment of The Surreal Life has finally ended and I am convinced that between that and E!’s Kill Reality that we a closing in to the very first reality fatality. The only question is if it will be manslaughter or an overdose, granted Ruthie came very close to it a few years back in the Hawaii version of The Real World. And faster than the last cast could slap lawsuits on each other, a new batch of surreal lifers have been named. Can any of the newbies beat a coked out Janice or the top 10 greatest TV moment of Mini Me peeing in a corner naked two season’s ago. Here are the has-beens that will try:

is best known as George Jefferson. I’m a huge fan of Helmsley and am still mad at BET for no longer carrying that and his other television classic Amen. As the lone African-American, one can only hope the word “cracker” is uttered by him at least five times an episode. He will be playing the role of token washed up actor (
, , , , ).

Steve Harwell is responsible for forever having songs like All-Star and Walkin' on the Sun forever burned on our brain. He will be playing the role as the token washed up singer (, )

CC DeVille is the coked up guitarist for and if anyone saw the Behind the Music for the band can tell that CC is clinically insane which is perfect for The Surreal Life. He will be playing the role of the token insane person (
, , , , ).

, for anyone who grew up in the 80’s was best known for being the hot hood ornament in the video. For people who grew up in the 90’s will remember as the ugly chick that beat up Indians pitcher Chuck Findley with her shoe. Dare I say she will be the token mother figure (
, , , )

is billed as “Playboy TV’s” so she basically is the token hot chick with no resume (
, , , )

But the highlight of the season will be the house member that defies any classification, . (S)he is the cross-dressing brother/sister to David, Rosanna and Patricia. I’m fully expecting a Mimi-Me moment out of him/her.

There is another guest the VH1 is hyping as a mystery hunk to be chosen from a pool of reality shows to fill up the token reality star and my sources say it will be Mavin of the MTV/WWE reality show, Tough Enough. Apperently he wasn’t as he recently got cut by the wrestling company. Whoever I is will be following in the steps of
, , , , and .


And it seems like VH1 likes to make reality shows from former surreal lifer (Strange Love, My Fair Brady) one can only hope they follow Jancie and Omarosa into the court room. For this cast I see Alexis in a Crying Game type show with CC not realizing (s)he’s a dude. I am a little disappointed that the producers didn’t choose any of the has-beens that I suggested last time, so here again are my suggestions for the next cast of the Surreal Life (feel free to leave your fantasy cast in the comments section):

Token washed up actor - The dude not named
on My Two Dads

Token hot chick with no resume - The Playmate of the Year that was arrested for fighting over Jeff Garcia

Token mother figure -

Token insane person - The other Corey,

Token reality star - Tonya from Real World, Kill Reality

Token rapper - Mr. I Wish, Skee-Lo

Token washed up musician - , which would be the next logical step from the Burger King ad

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

I Wish the Real World Would Stop Hassling Me


The next cast of The Surreal Life has been announced. I have a feeling that they will not surpass this season's opener with Mini-Me driving in his scooter, naked, stopping in a corner to, umm, relieve himself, then being carried back to bed by a suddenly buff Peter Brady. That was a Top 10 All-Time TV moment. The next season cast includes:

Bronson Pinchot, better know to children of the 80's as Balki Bartokomous. Although he should also be heralded as the person who started the "Gay People are Funny" stereotype way back in 1984 as Serge in the Beverly Hills Cop movies. This is a trend that still goes on today with characters like Jack on Will & Grace and the gay homosexuals on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. He will be playing the token washed up actor (Emmanuel Lewis, Erik Estrada, Dave Coulier, Christopher Knight).

Caprice Bourret. I don't know either, but her IMDb profile said she's been on, well, nothing I've seen. The only tidbit on her that seemed interesting is that she appeared on the British Celebrity Big Brother with former Surreal cast member and current Strange Love star Brigitte Nielsen. Which begs the question, when will America get its own Celebrity Big Brother? She will be playing the token hot chick with no resume (Brande Roderick, Traci Bingham, Marcus Schenkenberg).

Carey Hart is apparently an extreme sports athlete, which would be a new character to the shows roster. It seems they couldn't get a token washed up musician this season.

Janice Dickinson of America's Next Top Model. I don't watch the show so I have no comment about her. Yet. She will be playing the token mother figure (Gabrielle Carteris, Tammy Faye Bakker, Charo, Jane Wiedlin)

Jose Canseco. Now where have I heard his name lately? Mmmm. Jose, of course was last seen hawking his book at a congressional hearing on St. Patrick’s Day. I wonder if still has to wear his house arrest bracelet on the show? I'm hoping that this appearance won't hurt the possibility of a Big Head Barry and the Monsters reality show where Bonds, Canseco, McGwire, etc., hang out in locker rooms and stick unknown substances in the arses. ESPN really need to get on this. Mr. Roid Rage will be playing the token insane person (
Corey Feldman, Ron Jeremy, Brigitte Nielsen, Joanie Laurer).

Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth is the wild card of the group as she could also have been the token insane person. Now I didn't watch The Apprentice, but I did see her star turn on Reality All-Star edition of Fear Factor. From that appearance I will not be surprised if she gets bludgeoned with a bat by Cansaco. That might be the only way anyone can top the Mini-Me scene. She will be playing the token reality star (
Jerri Manthey, Trishelle Cannatella, Ryan Starr, Adrianne Curry)

Sandy Denton or as I like to call her, Ms.
Push It. Sadly, my first impression of her casting was, "Why didn't they get Salt instead?" I don't know what she will be bringing to the cast other than Da Brat's "What am I doing with these crazy white people" look. She will be playing the token rapper (M.C. Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Flavor Flav, Da Brat).

With the spin off love story reality show of past casts, I am putting money on the Jose/token hot model hook up for this cast. I also have money on Janice Dickinson walking of the show first. Overall, barring an Omarosa beat down, this is a poor cast, so looking forward, here are some suggestions for Season 6:

Token washed up actor - The dude not named
Paul Reiser on My Two Dads

Token hot chick with no resume - The Playmate of the Year that was arrested for fighting over Jeff Garcia

Token mother figure -
Suzanne Somers

Token insane person - The other Corey,
Corey Haim

Token reality star - Tonya from Real World et al

Token rapper - Mr. I Wish, Skee-Lo

Token washed up musician - Hootie, which would be the next logical step from the Burger King ad