57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CXXXIX

Quote of the Week: Man, I haven’t seen this many girls on a football field since the last time we played the Steelers. (Chad Ochocinco, Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch)

Song of the Week: Tightrope – Janelle Monáe (2010 Espy Awards)

Big News of the Week: George Steinbrenner Died: It is natural whenever people die to remember the good times and gloss over their bad attributes (see Michael Jackson) but the George Steinbrenner coverage is downright bizarre where his worst attribute has be hailed as a positive. His collection of players that resemble a fantasy roster more than an actually baseball teams what has ruined baseball in my lifetime (along with steroids) to the point is almost unwatchable. Yet in the wake of his death, people are applauding his ruthlessness. This would have been like when Richard Nixon died had be lauded for having the wherewithal to spy on his opposition for political gain.

Leverage: How can they include a town called Arcadia and not have anyone named Joan from there? How disappointing. You can stream recent episodes on TNT.tv. You can also download Leverage on iTunes.

Rescue Me: It is always good whenever Shawn and Mike put their brains together and them coming up with a worthy charity may be the best conversation since discussing God with Katie after Conner died. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Rescue Me on iTunes.

2010 ESPY Awards: It was cathartic to hear LeBron get booed during the show. Even though the monologue was entertaining, some of the bit were pretty lame with Paul the octopus and the creator of the vuvuzalas. But my second favorite part of the night (after LeBron getting booed) was Lindsey Vonn calling out Marky Mark.

Persons Unknown: Me wonders if the new black chick is also a plant as a replacement for Joe. It is a little convenient for someone to have antifreeze in a town with no cars. You can also download Persons Unknown on iTunes.

Also check out my preview of Covert Affairs.

Free Download of the Week: 2010 SideOneDummy Records Summer Sampler (Amazon MP3): This set includes songs by The Gaslight Anthem, Flogging Molly and Anti Flag.

Deal of the Week: Save up to 44% on TV Shows (Rescue Me, Diff’rent Strokes, Damages)

Video of the Week: New show on the National Geographic Channel tonight at 10:00, Monstar Fish follows fish biologist Zeb Hogan as he tries to find the world’s largest fresh water fish. Tonight is just a sneak peak before settling in to its permanent timeslot tomorrow also at 10:00. Here is a preview:

Redneck Fishing Tournament


Next Week Pick of the Week: My Boys, Sunday (7/25) at 10:00 on TBS: It has been over a year since the last new episode of My Boys aired so I have completely forgotten what is actually going on with the gang (was it common knowledge that Andy took a job in China?) Look for more on the new season of My Boys this week.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. LXXXIX

Quote of the Week: I Googled “disaster” and “woman,” had to wade through hundreds of sites of Sarah Palin and Brittany Spears. (Eli Stone, Eli Stone)

Song of the Week: Brand New Day – Joshua Radin (Eli Stone)

Big News of the Week: The Emmy Nominations Announced: Yawn. Wait they nominated Sheldon Cooper. Still every other category is mostly laughable.

Coalition Links of the Week:
This week, Jace had an advance review of the five-episode event Torchwood: Children of Earth, airing every night on BBC America this coming week, and had an exclusive interview with Torchwood executive producer Julie Garner. (Televisionary)

The TV Addict offers up his take on the 2009 Emmy Nods: The Good, The Bad and the Who Does BSG Have to Frak to Get Some Emmy Recognition! (The TV Addict)

Matt is 29 years old and a male. But he's seen the first episode of The Vampire Diaries and is a major fans. (TV Fanatic)

Kate wondered which season of The Bachelor was the most boring. (TV Filter)

Buzz took a break from all the Emmy mania to check out the models who will appear on the Project Runway companion series, Models of the Runway. (BuzzSugar)


Kings: I really didn’t care for the whole trail aspect and arresting Mr. Boston for treason, but there were sure some jaw dropping moments. Like the princess got knocked up. Or the minister finally teamed up with the evil beotgher only for Mr. Boston to turn down their offer. Oh, and that ending. Although I was a bit disappointed with the wording. If the King was going to use a homosexual slur, why not use Al Swearengen’s favorite slur? You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Kings on iTunes.

Eli Stone: Holy Ephram Brown sighting! Although by the time I figured out it was him (it was hard to place the voice without his incessant whining) he was gone. And in the end, so was the show. It deserved a better ending then the one we got. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com. You can also download Eli Stone on iTunes.

Rescue Me: I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get more fallout from the stolen fire truck, but I loved the trashing the break room and making the probie clean it up even though saw it coming early on during the trashing. You can stream current episodes over at Hulu.



Free Download of the Week: PM Yoga (iTunes): I decide a couple weeks ago that I would start doing yoga in hopes of receiving some aches and pains. Unfortunately I have come to the realization there are very few yoga positions in my flexibility range. I downloaded this for free recently and hopefully it is something up my alley.

Deal of the Week: Blu-ray Blowout: As Low as $15.49 (300, Planet Earth, Black Hawk Down)

Video of the Week: I know I just showed this a couple days ago (see Buster Bluth Wants Us to Watch CTRL), but I thought I would show it again just in case anyone missed it.



Next Week Pick of the Week: ESPY Awards, Sunday at 9:00 on ESPN: The most reliable award show this decade hosted once again by Samuel L. Jackson. I just heard an interview with the Jimmy V Award on Mike and Mike, and hearing his story (he got hit by a truck, during his surgery they discovered inoperable cancer, and he still coached the following season in a wheelchair for his basketball team) will be worth tuning in.

We on Award Tour: 2009 ESPY Awards Nominations

Samuel L. Jackson is back for his fourth ESPY hosting gig which remains one of the most entertaining award shows of the year. Two awards we already know that will be given out July 19 are The Arthur Ashe Courage Award will be given to Nelson Mandela while Don Meyer will pick up the Jimmy V Award for Perseverance. Usually an award voted on by fans, Dana Torres has already been announced as the Best Comeback. For those that are still being voted on by the general public, head over to ESPN.com. For my thoughts on the major categories, check out below:


Best Male Athlete
Kobe Bryant, NBA
LeBron James, NBA
Jimmie Johnson, Auto Racing
Michael Phelps, Swimming

Who I Voted For: Michael Phelps
Who Will Win: Michael Phelps

Odd no football players made it this year. When I first saw this list I thought that Michael Phelps should win but may not because of his scandal. But then I realized he just got caught with a bong, not to sound like Manny Ramirez, but it’s not like he raped anyone.

Best Female Athlete
Natalie Coughlin, Swimming
Nastia Liukin, Gymnastics
Maya Moore, NCAA Basketball
Candace Parker, WNBA
Serena Williams, Tennis

Who I Voted For: Natalie Coughlin
Who Will Win: Nastia Liukin

In Olympic years we judge our athletes by gold and Coughlin has gotten her fair share of them in her lifetime even if they have much more chances to grab them in any other sports. Had their not been a Michael Phelps she would have been the dominate story in the first week.

Best Championship Performance
Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers
Cole Hamels, Philadelphia Phillies
Michael Phelps, Olympic Swimming
Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, Olympic Beach Volleyball

Who I Voted For: Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh
Who Will Win: Kobe Bryant

Didn’t Kobe Bryant lose a game all by himself during the finals? Many they thought he made up for that by not getting called for an elbow at the end of the game Derek Fisher won. I’ll go with the team that won 108 straight matches.

Best Breakout Athete
Shawn Johnson, Olympic Gymnastics
Evan Longoria, Tampa Bay Rays
Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls
Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons

Who I Voted For: Matt Ryan
Who Will Win: Evan Longoria

Maybe the hardest category. I gave the edge to Longoria because he got further in the playoffs and to make up for all the Eva jokes I made all year.

Best Record Breaking Performance
Usain Bolt, Olympic Sprinter
Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona Cardinals
Phil Jackson, Los Angeles Lakers
Michael Phelps, Olympic Swimmer

Who I Voted For: Usain Bolt
Who Will Win: Michael Phelps

Quick: what record(s) did Fitzgerald break? I didn’t know either. As much as I hated his antics, I had to go with Bolt. Dude pounded his chest with ten meters to go and still broke the record. Oh and Fitzgerald broke Jerry Rice’s records for receptions and reception years.

Best Upset
Mine That Bird wins the Kentucky Derby
Oregon State stuns then #1 USC
Tampa Bay Rays win the American League Championship Series
US Soccer shocks Spain in the Confederations Cup semifinals

Who I Voted For: US Soccer
Who Will Win: Tampa Bay Rays

Upsets happen all in the Derby and College Football. This one is hard to gauge between USA and Tampa Bay. Here you have two “ever’s.” First time Tampa Bay ever was above .500 and ended up making the World Series. The US beat their first ever world number one. Unfortunately they both fell short in the championship game.

Best Game
Federer vs. Nadal in the 2008 Wimbledon Final
Steelers vs. Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII
Syracuse vs. Connecticut in the Big East Tournament Quarterfinals

Who I Voted For: Federer vs. Nadal
Who Will Win: Steelers vs. Cardinals

Not only was the tennis match the best “game” this year, it may even be the best ever tennis match. The Super Bowl doesn’t even ranking the top five as the first half was horribly boring. Six overtimes is a cool novelty, but in the end, that’s all it is when it is not part of the big dance.

Best Moment
Florida’s Tim Tebow’s speech
Helio Castroneves wins the Indy 500
US swim team wins thrilling finish in Olympic relay

Who I Voted For: US swim team
Who Will Win: US swim team

What a sad list. Certainly there were better moments than this over the past year. The swim team was the only on the edge of your seat moment here and the only part of Michael Phelps’ run that lived up to the hype.

Best Play
Ovechkin vs. Rangers
Pacquiao KO’s Hatton
Roethlisberger to Holmes Super Bowl Winning TD
Texas Tech’s Michael Crabtree makes game-winning catch vs. Texas

Who I Voted For: Ovechkin vs. Rangers
Who Will Win: Roethlisberger to Holmes

Best Team
Connecticut Women’s Basketball
Los Angeles Lakers
North Carolina Men’s Basketball
Philadelphia Phillies
Pittsburgh Penguins
Pittsburgh Steelers
Who I Voted For: Pittsburgh Penguins
Who Will Win: Pittsburgh Steelers

I live in a city that hasn’t seen a championship in my lifetime and here is a city that had two in one year. I hate Pittsburgh. But the Penguins won two game sevens on opponent’s ice in the playoffs.

That is ten of the thirty-seven awards. Head over to ESPN.com to see all the individual sports nominees including how Micky Rourke can pick up one after getting snubbed by the Oscars.

We on Award Tour: 2008 ESPY Awards

The Espy's are so foolproof, even when they get athletes to host it still is pretty entertaining. That adage is put to the test this year when they get Justin Timberlake, who bombed when he team hosted with Stifler at the MTV Movie Awards a couple years back. But let us star
t off with the pre-show first.

- Holy Chris Connelly sighting!

- Erin Andrews has to be one of the most underrated hot chicks out there today. Any of those lame lists by lame magazines that countdown chick and don’t have her in the top ten just isn’t credible. With that said, someone should tell her that the word “bling” died five years ago.

- The Top 5 Meetings need to make it on YouTube sooner than later.

- How does Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo make the Dynamic Duos list? She is the reason his team lost.

- An Under Armour CEO interview? Seriously?

- Adrian Peterson had his draft position drop just by wearing his hat like Antwain Merriwheather.

- Wow, the Espy’s actully started on time this year.

- I know I say this every year, but no award show’s clip package comes close to the ESPY’s.

- Justin Timberlake may not be able to tell a joke, but the Bill Belichicken was funny.

- As much as I love seeing the Giants beat the Patriots over and over again, but Appalachian State was the true biggest upset. And the won on the opposing team, not a neutral site like the Super Bowl.

- They don’t even show the nominees for Best Record Breaking Performance, just give it to Brett Farve. I guess having Big Head Barry also in the category doesn’t make you want to acknowledge him.

- It is not a good sign when you are out acted by Greg Oden. Can we get him to host next year? And that musical number went way too long.

- Who was the nerd sitting next to Kristen Bell? If they need a nerd next to her, why not ask me?

- Suggesting to dig up Harry Carey: not funny.

- Have I ever told the time I met and annoyed Posh Spice?

- Now for the best part of every ESPY’s the Arthur Ashe Award of Courage. But why is Tom Cruise narrating the story of Tommy Smith John and Carlos. Tom aside, the package had a History Channel feel to it.

- Is it ironic that Jason Taylor saying he was doing something to piss off Bill Parcells the day he got traded?

- Jimmy V Award for Perseverance presented by Robin Roberts, someone who know a little about Perseverance. Be sure to check out Jimmyv.org.

- I have no clue what Adriana Lima was doing at the ESPY's, I am just glad she was.

- On the other end of the spectrum, who invited Fergie?

- In the end the New York football Giant complete their sweep winning Best Sweep, Upset, Play and Team. Wait, what, they actually did not win Best Team? Did not see that one coming. But that going to the Boston Celtics does not help the ESPN criticism that they have a New York/Boston bias.

We on Award Tour: 2008 ESPY Nominations

For whatever reason ESPN has tapped Justin Timberlake at host the ESPY’s. Considering his stint as host of the MTV Movie Awards host was uninspiring, I can’t say this was an inspired choice. And really make no sense because of the occasional Laker stands sighting he has basically any association with sports. Yet with the ESPY’s track record, the show should be at least watchable. This year’s Arthur Ashe Award for Courage, which tend to be the highlight every year will be going to the Black Power guys from the 1968 Olympics. Voting is open over at ESPN.com where you can find all the nominees. Here are select one I am highlighting from this year:


Best Male Athlete
Tiger Woods
Tom Brady
Kobe Bryant
Alex Rodriguez

Who I Voted For: Tiger Woods

Some say that ESPN favors New York and Boston too much and look no further than to this category for that. Here you have two losers nominated and you have to give to Tiger because he actually won something.


Best Team
New York Giants
Boston Red Sox
Kansas University Basketball
Tennessee Woman’s Basketball
Boston Celtics
Detroit Red Wings

Who I Voted For: Detroit Red Wings

My anti-New York/Boston bias is showing by going for Detroit.


Best Championship Performance
Venus Williams
Josh Beckett
Rafael Nadel
Tiger Woods

Who I Voted For: Rafael Nadel

Nadel did the unthinkable and embarrassed Roger Federer.


Best Breakthrough Athlete
Stephan Curry
Adrian Peterson
Kyle Bush
Ana Ivanovic

Who I Voted For: Stephan Curry

Peterson will probably win in a landslide because of all the fantasy teams he help win championships for and I would really like to vote for Ivanavic if only because she is what I like to referrer to as moderately attractive, but there is something to say that my cousin and I were talking about the NBA draft a while back, and we both thought it would be a good idea if the Cavs drafted him and that was solely based on the four games in the NCAA tournament. Now that is the definition of a breakout star.


Best Record Breaking Performance
Barry Bonds
Tom Brady and Randy Moss
Brett Farve
Usian Bolt

Who I Voted For: Brett Farve

Well you have to go for the person on here that never actually cheated, although I feel bad to include Bolt in that statement because I son’t know him, but you have to assume these days all the track and field people are doing something illegal.


Best Upset
Appalachian State over Michigan State (College Football)
New York Giants over New England Patriots (NFL)
Fresno State over Georgia (College Baseball)
Da’Tara at the Belmont (Horse Racing)

Who I Voted For: Appalachian State

As an Ohio resident I have to laugh at any pitfall to the neighbors to our north, but way no March Madness picks?


Best Moment
Central Washington vs. Western Oregon Softball
Jon Lester No Hitter
Danica Patrick

Who I Voted For: Central Washington

This needs to be explained, so some chick hit her very first home run ever only to come up lame going around first. Since rules state that if any teammate touches you on the base path you are automatically out, the other team picked her up and carried her around the base path so her first home run would count.


Best Game
New York Giants vs. New England Patriots
Kansas vs. Memphis (College Basketball)
Boston Celtics vs. Los Angeles Lakers (Game Four)

Who I Voted For: New York Giants

The evil empire getting their first defeat in the last minute of the last game.


Best Play
Eli Manning to David Tyree (NFL)
Trinity University (Division III Football)
Rick Nash (NHL)
Blake Hoffarber (College Basketball)

Who I Voted For: Eli Manning to David Tyree

Hoffarber may not be a name you know, but this is actually the second time nominated and actually won before as a high schooler. But nothing is going to beat the helmet catch.


Best Coach/Manager
Tom Coughlin (New York Giants)
Terry Francona (Boston Red Sox)
Pat Summitt (Tennessee Woman’s Basketball)
Doc Rivers (Boston Celtics)

Who I Voted For: Tom Coughlin

It is silly each year that they always pick the coaches from the winning teams, yet would anyone put Doc Rivers in the fifty best managers in pro sport, much less the top four?


Best Finish
Jamie McMurry (Daytona International Speedway)
Western Kentucky over Drake (NCAA Basketball Tournament)
San Antonio Spurs over Phoenix Suns (NBA)
Pittsburg Penguins over Detroit Red Wings (Stanley Cup)

Who I Voted For: Western Kentucky

The Pittsburg game was a great finish, but it just prolonged the series another game, I got to go with the buzzer beater.


Hummer Like Nothing Else Award
Manny Ramirez
Sidney Crosby
Ashley Force
George Martin

Who I Voted For: George Martin

Wonder if Manny got the nod before or after he knocked the Red Sox secretary to the ground? For those that do not know George Martin, he walked 3200 miles for 9/11 charities.


Best NFL Player
Tom Brady
Randy Moss
Eli Manning
LaDainian Tomlinson
Bob Sanders
Brett Farve

Who I Voted For: Bob Sanders

I am a big proponent of defense wins championships and Sanders is the only defensive player here.


Best NBA Player
LaBron James
Kobe Bryant
Chris Paul
Dwight Howard
Kevin Garnett

Who I Voted For: Chris Paul

Kobe winning MVP was a joke because he wasn’t even the MVP of his own team. Without Pao Gasol, LA doesn’t even host a playoff series that is even if they make it. Paul on the other hand took a nothing team and took them within one game of the NBA Finals.


Best Baseball Player
Alex Rodriguez
Josh Beckett
Jimmy Rollins
Jake Peavy
C.C. Sabathia

Who I Voted For: Jake Peavy

I got nothing, time to end this.

We on Award Tour: 2007 ESPY Awards

Surprisingly ESPN’s ESPY Awards have quickly become the most entertaining award show on the circuit these days. Sure there are some major flaws including that of the fans voting which has lead to a football dominated show thanks to the NFL being the most popular league, even though some of the times it doesn’t actually deserve the awards. And I was disappointed this year that they didn’t do their parade of the best of their respective sports this year like they did in the past. But that is made up for thanks to the best montage package each year as well as the emotional high because of the yearly Arthur Ashe Award for Courage segment. Here are some thoughts on this year’s festivities:

- Another glaring problem with the ESPY’s is that it is continually scheduled behind a baseball game leading the show to start late every year, granted the ten minutes this year was a lot better than the over a half an hour last year. And I also totally forgot the pre-show because, again, they relegated it to ESPN2. Oh well.

- The show starts off with shots of athletes in attendance as well as a gratuitous Kate Walsh sighting. Well at least Disney, who owns both ESPN and ABC, didn’t go overboard this year with its blatant synergy plugs with her being the only one this year.

- It is never a good sign how well your monologue is going when a reaction shot of Shaq not laughing at a Shaq and the Beanstalk joke gets a bigger laugh than any of your jokes. When will people realize that Adam Corolla was the genious behind The Man Show, not Jimmy Kimmel? Although TI sitting next to TO makes the least famous Jackson way be the most underappreciated joke since Uma/Oprah.

- At first I thought the whole shower sketch was just a ploy to see Danica Patrick wet but Frank Tarkanian with the towel had me on the floor. Yeah they went a long way for that joke but it was definitely worth it.

- Can we please stop pretending that Carmen Electra is hot? Her and all the chicks with clown boobs on the wrong side of thirty-five just need to go away sooner than later.

- LeBrentourage: good idea, bad execution. Too bad they couldn’t do a live action version, which would have been a lot more entertaining. But obviously there would been too many scheduling conflicts.

- We get our very first Jimmy V Perseverance Award this year. Great, another segment that will make me bawl like a twelve year old girl each year. And the inaugural recipient, NC State basketball coach Kay Yow, hit a little too close to home as she battle breast cancer for the third time.

- Ironic that they show Shawn Merriman, who got an invite to the show even though he got hit with a suspension this year for using a performance enhancing drugs, during Best Record Breaker considering Big Head Barry will most likely be up for the award next year.

- I had a little laugh when they chose Heartbreaker to play during Best Female Athlete. That is slightly sexist. Speaking of sexist, the award goes to the hottest chick in the field (full disclosure: I think I voted for Taryne Mowett for that very reason). Then Kate Walsh embarrasses herself by not even being able to pronounce the winner’s name even though they just said her name just seconds before segment. Seriously, they gave this girl her own show?


- Then there was the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage this year handed out to Trevor Ringland and Dave Cullen, a Catholic and Protestant both from Northern Ireland who are both active in Peace Players, an organization devoted to bridge social divides through sport. For more on the program or to donote, check out their website.

- Not the best idea to follow the Arthur Ashe Award with LeBron James materialism obsessed song set to Bobby Brown’s My Prerogative.

- Ugg, another Dane Cook sighting. It is like the more exposure he gets, the less funny he becomes.

- Did they seriously announce Franco as the dude from The Bronx Is Burning? Did anyone actually watch that? Certainly more people know him as the dude from Rescue Me.

- Great moment backstage with Kevin Durant backstage talking about his ESPY for Best College Athlete with, out of nowhere, Greg Oden jumps into frame to brag about getting second. Too band Grampa Oden will be stuck in the Pacific Northwest because this may be the last time we see him.

- Who invited Kelly Clarkson? Usually they pair up the athletes with actors so there is at least someone up there that can read teleprompters (Kate Walsh not withstanding). But it was funny when the random dude who turns left for a living opened up the card and tilted towards Kelly to read, only to announce the winner himself.

- LaDainian Tomlinson wins Best Male Athlete? Yeah I would vote for him as the Best Fantasy Player but not Best Male Athlete. Rodger Federer was robbed.

- The end musical number was a little cluttered with Macy Grey, the Dap Kings, Rocco DuLucia, and Common all taking turns. But it is not like the night is about music.

We on Award Tour: 2007 ESPY Nominations

The ESPY’s are quickly becoming even more entertaining than the MTV Awards season granted half of the readers here may not even know what they are, and that half most likely like dudes (ESPY’s are awards given out by ESPN, just don’t ask me what they stand for). This year we get the tag team tandem of hosts in LeBron James and Jimmy Kimmel. Should be intesting. No Arthur Ashe Award winner has been announced yet but the segment always ranks as the one of the most emotional moments of the year and enough reason to watch. Now, much like the Grammy’s, there are way too many categories to list here, plus I have no desire to pick who is the dude who can turn left for five hours the best, so check out all the nominees and vote on the ESPY’s page at ESPN.com and be sure to check out the awards on July 15th at 9PM ET on ESPN. Now on to my predictions:


Best Male Athlete
Roger Federer, Tennis Pro
LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts
LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers
Tiger Woods, Pro Golfer

Who Will Win: Peyton Manning
Who I Voted For: Roger Federer

When it comes to the best across all sports, you have to instantly throw out the two that didn’t win anything over the last two months and I have said this every time I’ve done and ESPY’s nomination post but golfers are not athletes. And if you take away clay, Ferderer doesn’t lose. Ever.


Best Team
Florida Gators Basketball - Final Four Champs
Florida Gators Football - BCS Champs
Indianapolis Colts - Super Bowl Champs
San Antonio Spurs - NBA Champs
St. Louis Cardinals - World Series Champs
Tennessee Lady Vols Basketball - Final Four Champs

Who Will Win: Indianapolis Colts
Who I Voted For: Indianapolis Colts

No one even remembers that the Cards won and by the time the awards are handed out everyone will have forgotten the Spurs. It is laughable that college teams are even included here and they should really split this into two different categories, pro and college.

Best Coach/Manager
Billy Donovan, Florida Gators
Tony Dungy, Indianapolis Colts
Jim Leyland, Detroit Tigers
Gregg Popovich, San Antonio Spurs
Pat Summitt, Tennessee Lady Vols Basketball

Who Will Win: Tony Dungy
Who I Voted For: Tony Dungy

Pretty much see above.

Best Moment
Tiger Woods, British Open - Tears of Joy
New Orleans, Monday Night Football - Saints Return, Beat the Falcons
Tony Dungy vs. Lovie Smith - Super Bowl's First African American Coaches
Derek Fisher - Father First, Utah Jazz Second

Who Will Win: New Orleans
Who I Voted For: Derek Fisher

I am not sure if anyone cared that two black coaches when head-to-head and I cannot even remember why Tiger cried. Now the Saints were a great moment even with all the over the top celebration, remember U2 performed, but the Fisher story made me tear up a little.


Best Championship Performance
LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
Jimmie Johnson, Nascar Driver
Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts
Serena Williams, Tennis Pro

Who Will Win: Peyton Manning
Who I Voted For: Peyton Manning

Um, didn’t James get swept? How does that qualify for a best of anything? He was the fourth best player on the floor at that. Williams was forgettable and Johnson just turned left for hours so Manning is the easy choice here.


Best Record-Breaking Performance
Bobby Knight, Coach, Texas Tech Red Raiders
Michael Phelps, U.S. Swimmer
Kelly Slater, Pro Surfer
LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers

Who Will Win: Bobby Knight
Who I Voted For: LaDainian Tomlinson

There must not have been many records broken if there is a surfer in the category. Since there were no Olympics this year no on will care about Phelps, myself included. In the end I’ll take a player over a coach.


Best Breakthrough Athlete
Kevin Durant, Texas Longhorns
Devin Hester, Chicago Bears
Ryan Howard, Philadelphia Phillies
Morgan Pressel, Women's Golf Pro

Who Will Win: Kevin Durant
Who I Voted For: Morgan Pressel

I was less than impressed than the athletes here so I went with Pressel because, well, she’s moderately attractive. Hey I’m shallow.


Best Game
Oklahoma State over Texas - College Hoops Triple Overtime
AFC Championship - Colts over Patriots - Remarkable Playoff Comeback
Fiesta Bowl - Boise State over Oklahoma - David vs. Traditional Goliath

Who Will Win: AFC Championship
Who I Voted For: AFC Championship

I can’t say I watched the whole AFC Championship because I turned off the game early when the Colts went into the big hole. I doubt I was the only one. But when you can come back from three touchdowns in a playoff game, especially against the thorn in your side, it is the easy choice.


Best Finish
Dodgers over Padres - Back to Back to Back to Back
Harwick's Daytona 500 - Nothing Closer, Ever
Division II Men's Basketball Championship - 57 Game Win Streak, Broken
Preakness - Triple Crown Spoiler

Who Will Win: Dodgers over Padres
Who I Voted For: Dodgers over Padres

Way too many nominees about dudes turning left. It has been fifty years since a team hit four bombs in a row and the Dodgers did it in the ninth to tie the game. Then hit another round triper in the tenth to win.


Best Play
Boise State 2 Pt Conversion vs. Oklahoma - The Statue of Liberty Play
Darrelle Revis' Return - One Thunderous Block
Dwyane Wade Shot - Crazy Shot off the Glass
Endy Chavez Catch - Home Run Thief
Travis Pastrana - X12 - Moto X Double Backflip

Who Will Win: Boise State
Who I Voted For: Boise State

College football’s overtime rules are pretty lame but that doesn’t take away from Boise State’s ballsy play against a team most thought didn’t deserve playing against.


Best Upset
Detroit Tigers vs. New York Yankees - AL Division Series
Golden State Warriors vs. Dallas Mavericks - NBA Playoffs
Florida Gators vs. Ohio State Buckeyes - BCS National Championships
Rutgers Scarlet Knights vs. Duke Blue Devils - NCAA Women's Sweet 16

Who Will Win: Florida Gators
Who I Voted For: Golden State Warriors

This one is pretty easy for me because eights never beat one seeds in any sport. And they did it in six games to win.


Best NFL Player
Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints
Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts
Larry Johnson, Kansas City Chiefs
Jason Taylor, Miami Dolphins
LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers
Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears

Who Will Win: Peyton Manning
Who I Voted For: Brian Urlacher


Best NBA Player
Carmelo Anthony, Denver Nuggets
Kobe Bryant, Los Angles Lakers
Tim Duncan, San Antonio Spurs
LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
Steve Nash, Phoenix Suns
Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks

Who Will Win: LeBron James
Who I Voted For: Steve Nash


Best Baseball Player
Ryan Howard, Philadelphia Phillies
Derek Jeter, New York Yankees
Justin Morneau, Minnesota Twins
Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals
Johan Santana, Minnesota Twins

Who Will Win: Albert Pujols
Who I Voted For: Johan Santana


Under Armour Undeniable Award
Arizona Wildcat Softball
Nebraska Cornhusker Volleyball
North Carolina Tar Heels Soccer
Northwestern Wildcats Lacrosse
Tennessee Lady Vols Basketball
Wisconsin Badgers Hockey

Who Will Win: Tennessee Lady Vols Basketball
Who I Voted For: North Carolina Tar Heels Soccer

Gotta love the ambiguous categories that are just shameful product placement. But considering that all the nominees are female college teams, that this is their category. I don’t think that this award was given out to the same thing last year though. Just odd.


Hummer Liker Nothing Else Award
LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
Michael Phelps, US Swimmer
Kendric Smith, Hughes High School
Diana Taurasi, Phoenix Mercury
LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers

Who Will Win: LeBron James
Who I Voted For: LeBron James

I am glad LeBron is nominated in this category because I can bring up my “LeBron’s Mom Gave Me a Hummer” t-shirt. Other than that there really isn’t much more to say about these mixed bag of random athletes.

We on Award Tour: 2006 ESPY's

The ESPY’s are quickly becoming the most entertaining award show of the year. This is most likely because this is the only award show for athletes, whom are actually gracious and excited to be there whereas there are plenty of award shows for acting and music and it shows on the faces of the attendees who looked bored at having to sit through another one and most likely only show up to promote something. Also unlike the end of the year the ESPY’s have little competition as the only award show in July and a good month after the MTV Movie Awards and a month or so before the Emmy’s and Video Music Awards. Plus the ESPY’s has the best award on the docket with the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage which is always tear jerking and since it’s sports related and on ESPN, it is socially acceptable for dude to cry during it. This year was the first time an actual athlete hosted the show and after setting the bar pretty low with his stint as a Saturday Night Live host, Lance Armstrong pretty much met expectation as the master of ceremony. Here are some observations from the show last night:

- Another reason why the ESPY’s are better than other award shows is because their pre-show doesn’t feature any creepy chicks that have had way too much plastic surgery. Instead we get Stuart Scott, Melyssa Ford, best know as a video ho-fessional, and the Black Widow, Jeanette Lee, someone everyone who has all thirty ESPN probably know, and if you don’t her, she’s a pool player. Not necessarily a murder’s row of interviewers, but at least Star Jones and her remodeled alien face were nowhere to be found.

- Nice that the pre-show starts off with a blatant plug for The Contender. Maybe this is just like every other award show.

- They even gave out some awards in the pre-show including Best Coach which was one by Bill Cowher. As much as I don’t like the dude, it was nice to see he’s re-growing his boy bander beard.

- During a commercial break, I flipped over to I Love the 70’s (which by the way, I don’t) and they were ironically talking about the start of ESPN and they asked Stu Scott what it stood for and he said he didn’t know. Make me fell a little better about not knowing.

- Best part of the pre-show was when Ford asked the High School Payer of the Year where she was going to college and she responded University of Connecticut, Ford asked, “UConn?” Way to pick someone with a low sports IQ.

- You just got to love Julius Jones’ comment about his new teammate Terrell Owens and how his different team, different T.O. sounds exactly like what Donavan McNabb said about this time two years ago. Have fun Cowboys fan.

- It looks like Gary Payton is already positioning himself as a NBA Draft analysis guy after he retires with his “upside” comment on Dwayne Wade. I think a Finals MVP really doesn’t have much “upside” left.

- As much as I wish Carmen Electra would just disappear, she has no discernable talent and you can find hotter chicks going down to your local fitness center, but I love how Stu Scott asked her about former husband Dennis Rodman. C’mon E!, skip the creepy looking Joan Rivers, Star Jones and Kathy Griffin this year and have Stu on the red carpet at the Emmy’s this year. I’d turn in for that.

- Obvious edit after Stu asked Danica Patrick about her boss David Letterman, I wonder what was cut out.

- Is it wrong that I have to chuckle every time I see Kobe Bryant out with his wife? Too bad Stu didn’t ask them about the white chick.

- The pre-show just happened to be ESPN2, and when 9:00 came around, Stu reminded us to switch over to ESPN, but when I did just that, it was the seventh inning of a Mets-Cubs game. Not only that, the game was a blow out, 13-5. with thirty channels, I don’t know why they just didn’t move the game to The Ocho. What’s worse was the actual awards were handed out Wednesday, a day with no sports going on. I don’t know why they just didn’t show it live them. What else could have been going on, the WNBA All-Star Game? Then I didn’t realize that I could have been watching Chappelle’s Show while I waited until after it ended. Then finally the ESPY’s started at 9:40.

- The show started out with quite possible the highlight of the evening, with it’s images of the past year that included highs and lows as well as obligatory memoriam section and a section for those who retired in the past year.

- As mediocre as Lance is at delivering a punch line, I still had to laugh at when he said he’d give his left nut to host the show and of course what award show would be complete without a Brokeback Mountain joke, this time when Lance said he was surprised to see Jake Gyllenhaal in the front row because he likes it in the rear. Nice to see they employed middle schoolers to write the monologue.

- First presenter of the night is Janet Jackson whose last appearance at a sporting event went… well, you know. She was out to present the Best Championship Performance. I find it interesting that the winner, Dwayne Wade, was also the only nominee whose championship performance wasn’t just one game. I’m not sure this is actually fair, maybe they should split this into two categories, one for game/match, the other for series.

- The Kip Pringle skit was decent, not quite the quality of MTV Movie Awards skits (Jessica Alba one’s not withstanding). Essentially what you have is Dwight Shrute from The Office playing himself but switched Lance in place of Michael Scott.

- Shawn White’s face when he lost Best Breakthrough Athlete was priceless. It’s like for the last month people were telling him he was a show-in, not realizing they were just blowing smoke. You’d think he just saw his girlfriend on a sex tape with another dude.

- Now it’s time for the serious part of the ceremony where Lance hypes his charity along with the Jimmy V Foundation. For these that were wondering who the mother and daughter they kept on showing during this part, they were ESPY nominee for Best Moment, Dakota Dowd and her mother, who has terminal cancer. Also, if you didn’t catch them, the websites that were talked about here were livestrong.org and JimmyV.org.

- I find it interesting the chick that presented with LeBron James wouldn’t let go of is arm. Now I’m not saying she’s a golddigger…

- As great as the thumb wresting challenge was, I fear after putting on “sports” like dominos, Scrabble, and spelling bees, this may give the programmers at ESPN an idea.

- You got to love how they played the sexist You Shook Me All Night Long during the Best Female Athlete montage.

- Did we really need what boils down to a ten minute commercial for the Ricky Bobby? The movie itself asks the question, its their enough humor in dudes turning left for hours to warrant a movie lampooning it?

- Next up is the reason why people who don’t even pay attention to sports should watch the ESPY’s: The Arthur Ashe Award for Courage. This year’s recipients were two young Afghani women who organized a soccer league for girl their age. It’s heartbreaking to hear these girls have to play behind a military wall for their own protection. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, this is the best part of any award show.

- Yet another Will Ferrell bit. I’m beginning to think I’m the only one who doesn’t think this guy is funny. Really the funniest part of his serenade to Lance was Matt Leinart’s expression when Ferrell sang the line, “you’ve been everywhere in France except for Paris… Hilton’s pants.” Speaking of dudes who just saw his girlfriend’s sex tape.

- As much as I don’t understand the allure of dues turning left, I’m equally puzzled by the popularity of college football. This may have to due with my college team winning about as many games as years I attended. But really the fan base of many teams are guys who didn’t go to that school, or are not even smart enough to get into college. It a sham that the National Championship Game beat out a walk of home run in the 18th that ended a series after the winner game back from five down, tieing it up with their last batter in the 9th. They should bring back the IQ test for voting whether it be for the president or the ESPY’s.

- For those keeping track at home, there were three Brokeback Mountain jokes last night.

- The best part of Jason McElwain winning for best moment was how exited the other nominees looked when he won (there was a four way cut screen when the winner was announced) with the George Mason coach being the first to congratulate him. Hopefully Shawn White takes note when he watches the rebroadcast.

- As much as I dislike Marky Mark, I got to love how he made fun of Ben Roethlisberger just before the Steelers won Best Team. I find it interesting who ESPN tried to build this up to be a big, touching event. This isn’t Christopher Reeves at the Oscars, did they really expect people would cheer a dude fore making a bonehead decision. It would have been like had the ESPY’s made Kobe the big surprise appearance right after being acquitted of raping a white chick. And after reading live reports of the award show, I wouldn’t be surprised had ESPN edited in some cheers. And a question for Steelers fan, did Ben have a lazy eye before the accident? His right eye has definitely been wondering around lately, maybe I just never noticed it before.

- The show ends appropriately enough, with an audience full of overpaid athletes, with The O’Jays singing for The Love of Money. Fun times.

We on Award Tour: 2006 ESPY Nominations

The ESPY’s are quickly becoming even more entertaining than the MTV Awards season granted half of the readers here may not even know what they are, and that half most likely like dudes (ESPY’s are awards given out by ESPN, just don’t ask me what they stand for). This year, fresh off his retirement, Lance Armstrong host and it’s already been announced that a group of female Afghani women who set up soccer matches for the fairer sex will be receiving the Arthur Ashe Award, a segment that always ranks as the one of the most emotional moments of the year and enough reason to watch. Now, much like the Grammy’s, there are way too many categories to list here, plus I have no desire to pick who is the dude who can turn left for five hours the best, so check out all the nominees and vote on the ESPY’s page at ESPN.com and be sure to check out the awards July 16th. Now on to my predictions:


Best Male Athlete
Lance Armstrong (Cyclist)
Vince Young (University of Texas Football)
Shaun Alexander (Seattle Seahawks)
LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers)
Albert Pujols (St. Louis Cardnals)

Who Will Win: Lance Armstrong
Who I Voted For: Lance Armstrong

First off, where’s Dwayne Wade? How does LeBron get the nod over him? Really, this category is easy because you can eliminate the three people that didn’t win anything. Not that it really matters as Armstrong will run away with the award like he always does when Tiger Woods isn’t involved (and sometimes when he is).


Best Female Athlete
Annika Sorenstam (Golfer)
Hannah Teter (Snowboarder)
Sheryl Swoops (WNBA)
Melanie Troxel (Drag Racer)

Who Will Win: Annika Sorenstam
Who I Voted For: Hannah Teter

A pretty pathetic group her with two chicks who’s sports barley qualify as sports, but I gotta go with the gold winner.


Best Team
Maryland Lady Terrapins Basketball
Chicago White Sox
University of Texas Football
Pittsburg Steelers
Miami Heat

Who Will Win: Pittsburg Steelers
Who I Voted For: Miami Heat

The Steelers had a decent run, but being a Browns fan, I cannot vote for them ever, I’m going with the Heat instead because Shaq winning a title without Kobe, making him look even worse is a good thing and it makes up for Wade’s oversight for Best Male Athlete.


Best Coach/Manager
Ozzie Guillen (Chicago White Sox)
Bill Cowher (Pittsburg Steelers)
Billy Donavan (University of Florida Basketball)
Jim Larranaga (George Mason Basketball)
Pat Riley (Miami Heat)

Who Will Win: Bill Cowher
Who I Voted For: Jim Larranaga

Cowher’s is obviously out out, Donavan ruined my March Madness bracket, Riley didn’t even coach the whole season. So even though I fear Guillen will call me names if I don’t vote for him, I’m going with Larranaga because I gotta give a fellow Mid Major some love.


Best Game
Andre Agassi vs. James Blake (US Open)
Houston Astros vs. Atlanta Braves (Game 4 NLDS)
USC vs. Texas (National Championship)

Who Will Win: National Championship
Who I Voted For: Game 4 NLDS

This was easy for me as I not only watched just one of these games, I even blogged about it - The New Killer B(urke). Only the sixth walk off/series ending home run ever the cap off the longest postseason game ever. Much better than watching an overrated team get beat.


Best Championship Performance
Vince Young (University of Texas)
Venus Williams (Tennis)
Sam Hornish Jr. (Indycar Driver)
Dwayne Wade (Miami Heat)

Who Will Win: Vince Young
Who I Voted For: Dwayne Wade

Let me get this straight, the left turn only circuit has a championship? Wait, never mind, I don’t care. But here’s my argument for Wade, the Heat lost Game 3 getting ready for a sweep, but somehow was able to single handedly save the game and then made sure his team didn’t lose again in the series. Again, who was he not in the Best Male Athlete category?


Best Moment
Kobe Bryant - 81 Point Game
Dakoda Dowd - LPGA Attempt
Jason McElwain - Manager, Shooter
George Mason - Final Four Run

Who Will Win: Jason McEwain
Who I Voted For: Dakoda Dowd

Throw Bryant out right away and I already gave George Mason some love earlier, so for me this comes down to the two heart-tuggers. For those that don’t watch Sportcenter, here’s the lowdown on the other two; McElwain was an autistic manager for his high school basketball team. Then in the team’s last home game, the coach let him go in during some garbage time and hit six three-pointers, scoring twenty points in four minutes. Dowd on the other hand got a sponsor’s exemption to play in an LPGA tournament, giving her mother, who is dying from bone cancer, a chance to fulfill her dream of seeing her kid play in a pro event. Dowd almost made the cut going two over par even among the immense media presence at the event.


Best Play
Nathan Vasher - NFL’s Longest Play
Tyrone Prothro - Alabama’s Unbelievable Catch
David Wright - One Handed Catch
Aaron Rowand - Nose for the Team
Reggie Bush - Punt Return TD

Who Will Win: Reggie Bush
Who I Voted For: Aaron Rowand

As a defensive guy, I love seeing the Web Gems on Baseball Tonight and Rowand’s catch was one of the best. Keep in mind that the bases were loaded with two outs some if he doesn’t get that ball, that’s three runs that likely score.


Best Comeback
Teddy Bruschi (New England Patriots)
Ronnie Turiaf (Los Angeles Lakers)
James Blake (Tennis)

Who Will Win: Teddy Bruschi
Who I Voted For: James Black

Bruschi will most likely win in a landslide, but I was a little queasy of him coming back that soon from a stroke. Blake on the other hand came back from a fractured vertebrae, contracted a debilitating virus, all the while losing his father to cancer. After all that, he made it to the finals of a major.


Best Breakthrough Athlete
Kimmie Meissner (Figure Skating)
Shawn White (Snowboarder)
Chris Paul (New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets)
Alexander Ovechkin (Washington Capitols)

Who Will Win: Shawn White
Who I Voted For: Chris Paul

Meissner didn’t even medal in the Olympics, I already thought White broke out along time ago, but Paul was the best rookie in the NBA even though the team that drafted him didn’t even have a permanent place to play. You gotta have heart to play under those conditions.


Best Record-Breaking Performance
Ben Roethlisberger - Youngest QB to Win a Superbowl
Shaun Alexander - Most TD’s in a Season
Mike Metzger - Backflip over the Fountains at Caesars
Kalen Pimental - American LLWS Strikeout Record

Who Will Win: Shaun Alexander
Who I Voted For: Shaun Alexander

Being the youngest/oldest is a pretty cheap record especially at a team sport and what exactly was Metzger’s record? Since you can never be sure of a Little Leagers age, I’m going with Alexander.


Best College Male Athlete
Vince Young (University of Texas)
Reggie Bush (University of Southern Cal)
Matt Leinart (University of Southern Cal)
J.J. Redick (Duke University)
Adam Morrison (Gonzoga University)

Who Will Win: Vince Young
Who I Voted For: Adam Morrison

Both Redick and Bus are looking at violations against the law and NCAA rules repesctively. Leinart gets thrown out for the double no-no of hanging out with Nick Lashay and dating Paris Hilton. So Morrison edges out Young by a moustache.


Best Baseball Player
Albert Pujols (St. Louis Cardinals)
Chris Carpenter (St. Louis Cardinals)
Alex Rodriguez (New York Yankees)
David Ortiz (Boston Red Sox)

Who Will Win: Albert Pujols
Who I Voted For: Albert Pujols

Ortiz gets thrown out for only showing up four-five times a game, really how cheap is that? This should be a runaway for Pujols, but where is Johan Santana?


Best NBA Player
Kobe Bryant (Los Angles Lakers)
Steve Nash (Phoenix Suns)
LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers)
Dirk Nowitzki (Dallas Mavericks)
Dwayne Wade (Miami Heat)

Who Will Win: Dwayne Wade
Who I Voted For: Dwayne Wade

I think I’ve spent more time talking about basketball today then spent watching it the past year, so let’s move on.

Best NFL Player
Shaun Alexander (Seattle Seashawks)
Peyton Manning (Indianapolis Colts)
LaDainian Tomlinson (San Diego Chargers)
Steve Smith (Carolina Panthers)
Brian Urlacher (Chicago Bears)

Who Will Win: Shaun Alexander
Who I Voted For: Shaun Alexander

I’m beginning to think there are more ESPY awards than Grammy’s at this point, moving along:


Under Armour Undeniable Performance Award
A.J. Hawk (Ohio State)
Matt Leinart (University of Southern California)
Kobe Bryant (Los Angles Lakers)
Ryan Howard (Philadelphia Phillies)

Who Will Win: Kobe Bryant
Who I Voted For: Ryan Howard

WARNING: Blatant product placement. I have no idea what this award is supposed to represent, but I’ll go with Howard just because.


GMC Professional Grade Play Award
Doug Flutie (New England Patriots)
Candice Parker (University of Tennessee)
Antwaan Randle-El (Pittsburge Steelers)
Aaron Rowand (Philadelphia Phillies)

Who Will Win: Doug Flutie
Who I Voted For: Doug Flutie

So how exactly does this differ from Best Play (which Rowand is also nominated for)? Are these the ones that GMC executives hand picked? But anyways. I believe Flutie is here for the drop kick he had during his final season, so I’ll go with him.


Now I'm not entirely sure what catergory it should be nominated in, but this deserves a nomination for next year. My favorite part is when he brings out the water bottle. All tirades need props.

We On Award Tour - 2005 ESPY Awards

ESPY Awards were on last night although if you have visited ESPN.com lately, then you were bombarded with articles about the winners, best dressed and all that goes with the awards since the awards show was actually last week sometimes. I really hate that not only are they not live, but they let out all the secrets before it airs and for those of us that don’t want anything spoiled, we have to be very careful at what we look at. But anyways, here are my highlights from the festivities:

- In the opening “Images” montage it mentioned the major athletes that have retired this year including Emmett Smith. I seriously missed that announcement, I guess I never though that he would retire. I fully expected him to be the Ricky Henderson of football.

- Also in the opening montage was multiple Ron Artest sightings which made me wonder why they don’t have “Worst Sports Moment” award.

- Dwayne Wade wins the Breakthrough Athlete award. They might have as well given the award to Shaq, because without him in Miami, Wade is just another decent player with no personality. I’m sure if guys would have known what Maria Sharapova would have been wearing, the voting might have gone a different way. That dress catapulted her over Anna Kournikova in the hotness ranking.

- It makes sense that Jessica Biel was a presenter at the ESPY’s because she is built like a linebacker.

- I have to admit I was totally conned by the Hoosiers 2 bit. I extremely mad when Amare Stoudemire and (um, was I supposed to know who the other dude was?) introduced the film. Luckily it was just a joke but I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a remake the way Hollywood is pumping out recycled ideas. (FYI – next up in the remake department, and sadly this isn’t a joke, LL Cool J in Fatal Attraction.)

- Nothing say “Know way I’m seeing this” like hearing a movie is starring Tyrese, the weird dude from OutKast, some random dude, and Marky Mark. But somehow this makes them eligible to be presenters. I haven’t looked, but I’d put sizeable money that their movie is being distributed by one of Disney subsidiaries. And if you are unaware, ESPN is one of them.

- It was funny during the Best Coach montage that all the coaches had elaborate plays filled with X’s and O’s to go along with their part and Terry Francona’s bit was just a steal. If any baseball manager wins this award, there is a serious problem.

- Natalie Coughlin was robbed as the Best Female Olympic Performance went to the USA Softball Team. It wasn’t the Best Females Olympic Performances, so a team shouldn’t even have been eligible. Shame on anyone who voted for them.

- Maria Sharapova wins Best Female Tennis Player yet we don’t get to see her accept it as it was thrown in with the awards previously given out montage. Bad mistake as ESPN once again screwed its make demographic another shot of her in that dress.

- Holy Carly Patterson sighting! It might just been the camera angle, but it sure looked like she has packed on the pounds since last August. I guess that’s what happens when you are allowed to eat for the first time in your life. But she may want to slow down or she just might find herself on Celbrity Fit Club 3.

- The Spelling Bee bit rivels anything Vince Vaugn has done on the MTV Movie Awards. “Spell Sharapova.” “Can you use it in a sentence?” “I would like to go on a date with Maria Sharapova.”

- Can some one tell how Wilmer Vanderama got so lucky? First he dates a barely legal Mandy Moore, then he lands the not so legal Lindsey Lohan before she got ugly, now he’s presenting with Maria Sharapova. And he’s not on an ABC show nor does he have a Disney venture to promote. I really need to find out how to become Ashton Kutcher’s sidekick.

- Next up is the best segment on any awards show, The Arthur Ashe Award, given this year to Jim McLaren, a Yale football star who was pronounced dead after being hit by a bus. But he recovered and set multiple records for a one legged athlete only to be hit by a van while riding a bike in a triathlon and was told by doctors he would not be able to feel or move anything below his head ever again. The awards was also givin to a man who was inspired by McLaren, Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah who was born without a bone in his leg in Ghana, a country where disabled children are routinely killed at birth. Yeboah went on to ride a bike across his home country, 370 miles, on a bike that was donated by a program that was inspired by McLaren. The highlight of the segment came when originally diagnosed paraplegic, McLaren, was seen wiping away his tears with his own hands while accepting the award in front of a stand ovation.

- There was a Monday Night Football reunion between Terrel Owens and Nicollette Sheridan. For those keeping track at home she joined Patrick Dempsey (Grey’s Anatomy), Michael Vartan (Alias), James Denton (Desperate Housewives), Nick and Jessica (Nick and Jessica's Tour of Duty), and Kelly Preston (Sky High) as blatant Disney product placement at the ESPY’s. I’m sure if you look at the other actors at the awards you will also find they are Disney products. Yet surprisingly no one from Lost made an appearance. Could they not at least brought in the token hot chick from the show.

- Blake Hoffarber won the Best Play award. I don’t want to tell Mr. Slice I told you so (although just by typing it I think I just did. Sorry.)

- Friday Night Lights wins Best Sports Movie, the director picked up the trophy but when you’re dating Estella Warren, that’s really award enough.

- It seems like The Rock will be soon dropped from his name as he is starting to be introduced as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Bad move as The Rock sound much cooler than Dwayne. Dwayne always conjures images of Dwayne Wayne and his flip glasses. This is a potential career killer. Granted this affect Wayne Wade marking ability much worse.

- The night closes with a perforce by Destiny’s Child with some weird Riverdance type chorography. This just may give us an insight in the post-Destiny’s Child careers on the two members of the group not named Beyoncé as they soon may be Michael Flattley’s sidekicks.

Final Scooter Talley:
Voted For: 6 for 17 (.353)
Predicted Correctly: 7 for 17 (.412)

We On Award Tour - 2005 ESPY Nominations

Another awards show that has been solid over the last couple years is the ESPY’s put on by ESPN. Granted I, and most like you, have no clue what ESPY stand for, but anyways. With MTV constantly putting on bad award shows (thanks Jimmy Fallon), the ESPY's are poised to overtake the MTV awards as the most entertaining award show of the year. Like the MTV Movie Awards, the awards are picked by us, the audience, so make sure you drop by ESPN.com and vote. Matthew Perry is your host and I feel he should at the very least do a solid job. The best part of the ESPY's, the Arthur Ashe Courage Award, has yet to be anounced. So here is the list of nominees and who I voted for. Keep in mind this is an abridged list as I could care less about awards handed out to Best WNBA Player, Best Outdoor Athlete, or the Best Person Who Can Only Make Left Turns.

Best Female Athlete
Seimone Augustus, LSU Basketball
Natalie Coughlin, U.S. Swimming
Maria Sharapova, WTA
Annika Sorenstam, LPGA

Who I Voted For: Natalie Coughlin.
Who Will Win: Maria Sharapova

First of all you need to eliminate Annika because a golfer should never be named best athlete. Then gold metals trump any other award and Coughlin got two last summer. And her vote has nothing to do with her being on my top 5 list.

Best Male Athlete
Lance Armstrong, cyclist
Payton Manning, Indianapolis Colts
Bode Miller, U.S. Ski Team
Michael Phelps, U.S. Swim Team
Vijay Singh, professional golfer

Who I Voted For: Michael Phelps
Who Will Win: Lance Armstrong

Again, for me, gold medals trump everything and Phelps’ eight tied an Olympic Record. But Armstrong has won the last two tears so I expect a repeat.

Best Team
Baylor Women’s Basketball
Boston Red Sox
New England Patriots
San Antonio Spurs
USC Football

Who I Voted For: San Antonio Spurs
Who Will Win: San Antonio Spurs

No college team has ever won this, and there is a good reason for that, so you can throw out those two teams. Boston/New England will split the vote, so I have a feeling that everyone will vote like me and go for the only team left. Unless Sox Nation makes some pact for New Englander only vote for one team. NC Basketball has to wondering how they got left off in favor of Baylor.

Best Coach
Bill Belichicken, New England Patriots
Pete Carroll, USC Football
Terry Francona, Boston Red Sox
Gregg Popovich
Roy Williams, UNC Men’s Basketball

Who I Voted For: Gregg Popovich
Who Will Win: Gregg Popovich

See Best Team for reasons. Although I think Williams has an outside chance with some pity votes, but he coached college where one coach has won. And surprisingly that was Gary “She’s Awful” Barnett.

Best Championship Performance
Deion Branch, New England Patriots
Matt Leinart, USC Football
Sean May, UNC Men’s Basketball
Curt Schilling, Boston Red Sox

Who I Voted For: Sean May
Who Will Win: Curt Schilling

It’s a same that Schilling will win this award. After a year of crusades against performance enhancing drugs in baseball, an award will go to a guy who uses performance enhancing drugs. And if you don’t think what Shilling shot into his ankle before his games were not performance enhancing, you are naïve.

Best Male Olympic Performance
Michael Phelps, Swimming
Cael Sanderson, Wrestling
Jeremy Wariner, Tack & Field

Who I Voted For: Michael Phelps
Who Will Win: Michael Phelps

Phelps was the golden boy (pun intended) of the Olympics so he will win, and he should because of his record performance.

Best Female Olympic Performance
Natalie Coughlin, Swimming
Carly Patterson, Gymnastics
Team USA Softball

Who I Voted For: Natalie Coughlin
Who Will Win: Team USA Softball

It seems a little unfair to have a whole team in competition, but anyways. And didn’t Patterson choke in the team competition to cost the US the gold?

Best Play
Matt Brown, Wichita State Baseball
Chuck Caruthers
Blake Hoffarber
Tiger Woods at the Masters

Who I Voted For: Blake Hoffarber
Who Will Win: Tiger Woods

Blake, if you remember, is the kid from Minnesota who forced overtime his state championship game by hitting a three-pointer while lying on his back. Sadly, Woods will win by name recognition alone.

Best Upset
Bucknell Men’s Basketball (vs. Kansas)
Giacomo (vs. the field)
Puerto Rico Men’s Basketball (vs. Team USA)
Vermont Men’s Basketball (vs. Syracuse)

Who I Voted For: Bucknell Men’s Basketball
Who Will Win: Puerto Rico Men’s Basketball

Giacomo is eliminated because he’s not human. Many people had Vermont going deep into the bracket. Puerto Rico was an upset, but no one was that surprised, but on the other hand, Bucknell destroys many, including me, people’s brackets.

Best Comeback
Kayla Burt, Washington Basketball (Suffered Cardiac Arrest)
Mark Fields, Carolina Panthers (Cancer)
Rulon Gardner, Wrestling (Amputated Toes)
Jordon Sigalet, Bowling Green Hockey (Multiple Sclerosis)

Who I Voted For: Mark Fields
Who Will Win: Rulon Gardner

This is the hardest category as all are worthy of an award, but I have to say cancer is a hard thing to comeback from after all the radiation treatments.

Best Breakthrough
Danica Patrick, IRL
Ben Roethlisburger, Pittsburg Steelers
Maria Sharapova, Tennis
Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat

Who I Voted For: Maria Sharapova
Who Will Win: Dwyane Wade

Wow, Danica can turn left 1000 time (sarcasm). And like Wade and Big Ben, didn’t win anything last year. I’ll take a winner.

Best Record Breaking Performance
New England Patriots (21 straight wins)
Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts (49 TD’s)
Pat Summitt, Tennessee Woman’s Basketball (882 career wins)
Ichiro Suzuki (262 hits)

Who I Voted For: Ichiro Suzuki
Who Will Win: Peyton Manning

Summitt gets thrown out for caching Women’s Basketball, NE didn’t do it in a single season, and Manning’s will be broken soon with the new rules in place. So Ichiro should win by default.

Best Sports Movie
I abstained from this category as the best sports movie, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story was sadly overlooked.

Under Armour Undeniable Performance Award
Braylon Edwards
Misty May and Kerry Walsh
Terrell Owens
David Pollack

Who I Voted For: Misty May and Kerry Walsh
Who Will Win: Terrell Owens

I have no idea what this award is for, so I just went with the gold metal winners. Of course, this award make about as much sense as:

GMC Professional Grade Play Award
Lance Armstrong, Cycling
Curtis Martin, New York Jets
Steve Nash, Phoenix Suns
Pat Summitt, Tennessee Basketball

Who I Voted For: Lance Armstrong
Who Will Win: Lance Armstrong

Umm, I’ve ran out of something deep to say so I’ll just stop there with the predictions.



On a side note, I want to give a congratulations to my boy Craig Biggio who broke the record for most hit by a pitch in a career. To show just how big those hits are, Biggio scored on a third of his record breaking HBP’s. So I already know who I’ll be voting for next year’s Best Record Breaking Performance for the ESPY’s.