57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 4, 2022

 

House of the Dragon:  I never really minded that Game of Thrones routinely went an hour because they usually juggled at least four storylines at a time, sometimes more.  With this show staying at King’s Landing most of the time and focusing solely on the Targarians, these episodes have dragged a bit.  They really need to get the Starks or Lannisters in there.  But the battle lines are starting to form.  The Sea Snake has thrown in with the Rouge Prince, the king has tied himself to the Hightowers (which I guess is less gross than marrying a twelve year old), and the current heir is kind of left out there on her own waiting for a half-brother to come along (which the promo spoils happens).

 

Tales of the Walking Dead:  I actually liked the idea of a swamp cruise to escape a zombie apocalypse; unfortunately they ruined it by making it an Alpha origin story, even though we already got her origin story.  I checked out after she left the boat.  This episode would have been much better had it been Death on the Zombie Nile, just keep have people disappearing, and then have the hijackers arrive in the final act.

 

The Chi:  Oh snap, they killed off the old kingpin.  Though he really felt insignificant this season.  It felt like he was just brought back so the former mayor could turn on him to make more nefarious.

 

City on a Hill:  Watching a lot of cop shows in my life, I have heard them talk about giving gun residue tests before, but in all my years, that was the first time I actually saw someone take that test.  That was a lot more complicated that I assumed.  I thought it was just a simple swab.  So Jackie actually lied to help Decoursey.  Then Jackie saw Decoursey’s boss at Sinclair’s house.  Everything is starting to tie together.  But why is Jenny having someone dive for her husband’s badge? If she wants her husband reinstated, could they not just issue a new one?

 

In the Dark:  Huh?  Did we not see Darnell get shot at the start of the season?  What bad editing bullshirt is this?  Mot that I am complaining Max died, I just wish that had happened a lot sooner.  But all this happened because Josh would rather the Blind Chick go to prison than bring down a drug organization that is killing people.  That has to be the dumbest plot mechanism in the history of television.  Then it looks like in the finale, the Blind Chick is going to torture and kill Josh.  I guess if you are going out, go out with a dumb bang.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Sigh, after all that big talk from Sarah last week, I was fully expecting her to get eliminated by Angela this week.  Unfortunately Danny turned out to be scared of Angela and sent in Cashey instead.  So the Fab 5 did not last very long, Desi turned on them and Cash is gone.  So is there just a Fab 3 or with the other two realize Sarah is too much of a loose cannon?

 

Stargirl:  As if Cindy did not look even guiltier, she had a literal smoking gun in her hand.  She really cannot talk her way out of that one, though she looks so guilty it probably is not her.  But which of the new friendamies could it be?  I suspect it was not anyone we saw.  Maybe someone in the Icicle family.  Are any of them still around?  I do wonder how, or if, the daughter plays into this.  But artimis coming though with a C+C Music Factory montage really made this episode.

 

Resident Alien: Well, that was confusing. It took me a second to realize that Harry is actually the artist.  So he is the baby alien’s actual father, just a six hundred year older version of him.  But why not go to Patience to warn Harry of the upcoming apocalypse?  Is this Back to the Future rules where he cannot see his younger self?  If so, why not send a note or something?

 

The Resort:  To quote the great philosopher Chidi Anagonye: What the fork?!?!  Really, that was it?  The kids were just hanging out in goo like nothing happened for the past 15 years?  I was expecting something a lot more interesting than that from the guys who did Palm Spring and Mr. Robot.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: August 28, 2022

 

House of the Dragon:  Way too many Targerians on the show.  What was great about the Game of Thrones was that each clan has different hair color so you could tell them apart.  But ninety percent of the cast has white hair.  At least one is a black dude.  But the king telling his daughter about the Long Night got me thinking, will these HBO shows ever try and retcon the final season to fit whatever George R.R. Martin ends up writing in the final two books.  Though that would have to depend on Martin actually finishing the last two books.

 

Tales of the Walking Dead:  Yet another somewhat funny episode, but like many Groundhog Day stories, this one got old fast.  And the CGI explosion was really bad.

 

In the Dark:  We finally get to Darnell getting shot and we still had to go back a couple days.  So stupid.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  I laughed so hard twice during this episode that I had to rewind it, when Charles started going into slo-mo (okay, I had to rewind a second time when everyone else joined in) and when Charles came back to life like The Undertaker. Very satisfying conclusion to the mystery, though I will nit-pick and say it was a little cheap that it was Poppy (who kind of looked like Aubrey Plaza back in Oklahoma) whom Kreps was hooking up with, not Cinda as the finale scene of the last episode suggested. One more nit-pick for the season as a whole: so Amy Schumer trying to buy the rights of the podcast was just completely dropped? I thought the trio fighting over if to sell the rights or not would end up being a storyline this season but was not even mentioned after the second episode.

Now we have a new murder which begs the question, will they have to change the name of the podcast? Or the television show? But the "she" Charles and Paul Rudd were fighting over has to be Mabel, right? Lucy is too young and there really is not anyone other females would care that deeply about unless he met another one in that year break. Mabel was the only one to stand up in concern over Rudd collapsing.

Hopefully the show follows its trend of premiering just 10 months after the previous season premiered and we get season three in April of next year. Though I am guessing for Emmy reasons it will not premiere until June again so it will not be competing with itself.

 

Motherland: Fort Salem:  So no Chekov’s witch bomb?  Kind of a confusing finale, I am still not entirely sure what was up with the daughter.

 

The Challenge: USA:  If they are only eliminating one person an episode from here on out, that means there will be a lot of people in the finals.  I just hope that Angela somehow comes in last next week with Sarah volunteering herself to go in and Angela just walks over her in the elimination.  All this bluster Sarah has had this season with no wins to back up her talk has to leading to something.

 

The Resort:  This is it, all the lead up has led to the whole in the ground.  Hopefully we are in for some profound twist next week because if we do not get some profound finale, this show likely will not be worth it.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: August 21, 2022

Westworld: So they make a point to tell us that being shot in the pearl makes a host dead-dead right before Hale, Bernard, and Mauve get shot in the forehead. Then five minutes into the finale Hale back to normal. So are the pearls lower in the skull? Could Bernard and Mauve (and Clementine for that matter) be brought back then? It did look like when Hale took her pearl out it came out around her nose. Not that any of that matters now because it seems like next season will mostly take place in the Sublime and Delores can just image all the dead-dead hosts anyway. Though, speaking of Delores, wasn't she supposed to be dead-dead because of what went down with Rehobolem last season? So what, she could not be put into a host body but her conscience could still stay intact?

 

Tales of the Walking Dead:  I dreaded watching another Walking Dead show, but how can I stop this far into it?  But shockingly that was the best episode in the series that I can remember and the first time they ever injected levity into the show.  I would much rather see an Olivia Munn / Terry Crews show than the upcoming Daryl / Carol show or Negan / Maggie one or the Rick movie that got turned into a miniseries.

 

The Chi:  Oh, so Jemma was not shot, just the shooting got her trampled.  But dude does deserve to get punched.  I did get a big laugh at the guy ripping up the envelope.  As a spiteful person, I really appreciated.  But I am not sure what was more surprising, that Emmitt tried celibacy or that he turned down sex.  At first I thought Tiff was testing him, but she really did seem disappointed to be turned down.

 

City on a Hill:  Well that kid had a point about the condom.  But anyway.  So Siobhan was part of a hit and run.  That was a surprising twist.  Now I wonder if her friend’s accident was actually an accident.  Then Jackie sees big boss drag a drugged lady out.  So at what point does he turn his boss in?  Are they really going to drag this out all season for him to grow a conscience in the season finale?

 

Flatbush Misdemeanors:  The white lady going through all the names of the drugs was hilarious.

 

In the Dark:  It I absurd that the show turned Josh into a raving lunatic and they somehow made him even crazier this week.  But at we are finally getting to the episode where Darnell gets shot next week.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  Oh my, Cinda Canning has been a bad, bad girl. When we first saw her last season, I was predicting she murdered Tim Kono and she killed him because the reason she was such a good true crime podcaster was because she was the one committing the crimes, now I have to ask... was I right? We know that Jan poisoned Tim, but I do not recall her ever admitting she staged it to look like a suicide.

Then when Cinda just happened to be at the crime scene when the three amigos were being perp walked out of the building, I rolled over my Cinda theory to Bunny's murder and that is looking very plausible right now. Cinda was killing Bunny while Kreps was spying on Mabel waiting for the right time to set her up. But the one thing making me pause that it is one thing fake Poppy's disappearance and murder, it is another to actually kill somebody.

One theory I got very wrong was that Teddy faked Will's DNA test, which would have been very funny, instead Teddy did hook up with Oliver's wife. I have a sinking suspicion that Will will be finding out this information next episode even though everyone else was sworn to secrecy. I doubt Oliver will be able to pull off being Greek for very long.

The show made it so obvious that Jan was the killer at the end of episode nine last season, I was convinced there was another shoe to drop in the finale that never came. Will the show do the same thing this season, and Cinda did it, or will there actually be a twist in the second season finale? Like I said before, it is a big leap between faking a murder and actually committing one. Then Kreps might be okay with planting evidence knowing the "dead" girl was alright, but would a NYC cop really be an accomplice to the murder? If he were that evil, he would do much more than spar with Mabel (but really, Selena Gomez constantly making fun of him make Michael Rappaport much more tolerable).

Then, while we learned what happened to the real painting this, we still have not learned who stole the fake. Is that too obvious that Lion King guy did it since we know he has allergies? When he sneezed last week, I was suspicious that they would introduce someone so late to play such a big part, but since the mystery of the real painting was solved this week, I guess who stole a fake matters much less now, so it might as well be Lion King guy. Like I have been saying from the beginning, I think the art thief and the killer are two different people.

 

Motherland: Fort Salem:  Oh snap, the president coming in was just great.  Sure, they just yadda yaddaed her getting to Fort Salem after being stranded in the Cession (much like how they yadda yaddaed Alder escaping the cave). But after taking down the vice president so early in the episode with the wedding filling in the rest, I had a sinking suspicion something bad would happen considered the last time this show did a wedding, the bride was murdered.  Shockingly it went out without a hitch, it is just that Fort Salem fell while it was going on.  Oops.  I guess we will be seeing Chekov’s which bomb in the finale.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Poor Alyssa, she gets stuck with Leo, and the only thing worse than being stuck with Leo is being stuck with Leo on a week he is ready to quit.  But at least he stayed… only for him to fork up the mission, sending them straight into the elimination.  But luckily they did not get the Madonna question which is the only one I could not solve.  But since they both got stuck on question two, I have to wonder if they were not allowed to skip a question.  Seems like it would have been smart to skip, do the other ones so you could eliminate some choices.  But thanks to Leo, Alyssa now has the most money among the women and second most overall.  I wondering if have more money will get you any advantage in the finals if you make it there.

 

Speaking of questions, what now after they got rid of the algorithm??  For Alyssa’s sake, I hope they are not stuck with these partners from here on out.  Though it would be funny if Tyson and Sarah would be stuck together for the rest of the season.  Maybe it is an individual game.   But would they still be doing double eliminations because with 14 because they still need to get rid of a few people.

 

Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin:  When I started this show I complained that it was just IP fraud that barely had anything to do with the original show.  Now that it is over, I need to complain about the one part of the show it ripped off, the dumb twist that “A” was a brother that no one new existed.  But at least he did not turn out to be a she that dated her brother.  Maybe that is the second season twist.  Even worse was the reveal that Ezra and Aria were still together. Again, he was a teacher who forked his student, why are they glorifying that and condemning grooming in previous episode.  Tabby and her boss got to be about the same age. 

 

But Tabby’s mom going H.A.M. on her boss was the only entertaining part of the whole show.  The whole blood drive plan was so stupid, how about labeling the blood because limiting the pool down to 65 still seemed too high. Yet inexplicably it worked because Tabby used that 1 in 65 chance to just accuse Chip who turned out to be the rapist.  What a horrible, stupid show.  Of course I will watch a second season.

 

The Resort:  Oh hey, Luis Guzman!  Oh, he is already dead.  But at least he gave us the most entertaining episode so far.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: August 14, 2022

 

Westworld:  I actually liked this season and they had to go and ruin it by just killing off three of the four major characters within minutes of each other.  Yeah, they told us robots who are shot in their pearl are dead-dead, but we were also told Delores and Teddy were dead-dead but two people who definitely look like them showed up this season so I am sure we will see Maeve, Bernard, and Charlotte very soon.

 

The Chi:  I did not realize the guy who shot Gemma was the mentee who tried to rob Emmitt a couple episode back.  There are just too many characters to keep track on this show.

 

City on a Hill:  On one hand, I am surprised that they killed Ernie Hudson so quickly.  But on the other hand, they really could not have Decoursey spend that much time away from his job.  Speaking of his job, is he going to start investigating one of the ongoing story lines like the construction accident, the cop shooting, or even possibly investigate the guy Jackie is employed by (which would be the most interesting as it will be who side Jackie falls on) or will we be juggling a four case?

 

Flatbush Misdemeanors:  How dumb is that supervisor who did not realize there was something that was not lube in that bottle?

 

In the Dark:  Well, that had to be one of the worst bottle episode in the history of television.  How about not sticking two very unlikeable characters alone in a room together?  And the beeping toy was so stupid. And why is the kingpin on the hunt for the blind chixk and Darnell?  Does he not have at least one their numbers somewhere?

 

Only Murders in the Building:  Oh wow, after the false reveal of Marv, I thought Glitter Guy would slip through our grasps one more time. But now that we know he is Det. Kreps, that makes me think about the first season in a whole new light. We know that Tim Kono's tox screen was not done after his murder, I thought it was just police incompetency, but with Kreps involved, that seems more deliberate now.

But just what are Kreps' intentions? Texting Charles and Olivier makes it look like his is a good guy, but then going after Lucy with a knife is very nefarious. But I wonder if he was breaking into Charles' apartment to go after Lucy or was it for something else and just went after her after he realized she was there?

So we finally know who Glitter Guy is, now the question is, who killed Bunny? Who was the guy in the passageway with Lucy? Who met with Bunny at the diner? Who stole her painting? Det. Kreps may be the answer to one or more of those questions (he most likely is passageway guy) but I doubt he is the answer to all of them.

One more question, why have they spent multiple scenes of Marv talking about his daughter? I saw a theory that Alice is really his daughter and the more Marv talks about his daughter, the more I think it has to be someone. Poppy is the only other realistic option I can think of.

 

The Challenge: USA:  There is always that part of the season of this show where someone gets a lot of screen time and I have to ask myself, have they been there this whole time.  That was David this week who wrnt from I forgot he was on the show to getting every confessional.  Which meant he was either going to win the challenge or get eliminated.   But I will never understand the people who go on this show even though they are scared of heights, or water, or cannot swim.

 

Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin:  Well, that Mouse storyline go weird quick.  Though I am still not sure why she is posing as a kidnap victim.  Even more confusing is just where did her father go?  Seems like he would have a good case for paternity, even if they did not go through proper channels.  So Angela was raped.  So is A the product of that (my, it is Karen theory took another big hit this week so I do need a new theory)?  And we learned this week that Imogen’s baby is the byproduct of rape (if that was a secret, what has she been telling people this whole time) by an unknown assailant, add that to Tabby being raped by an unknown assailant, now I have to ask, did A rape them both in some sick revenge fantasy because he thinks their moms were somehow involved with Angela’s rape?  That would be messed up.

 

The Resort:  It crossed my mind this week, could Chidi and Ted Mosby’s baby mama somehow be the two kids that went missing somehow.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: August 7, 2022

 

Westworld:  They still cannot get the fidelity tests eight for humans.  That does not bode well for Caleb’s longevity on the show.  Though, maybe he is not really dead and is being kept in storage just like the Man in Black.

 

The Chi:  Last week’s episode was entitled “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off,” named after the great Jermaine Stewart song, and of course, this episode starts off with all the main characters with most, if not all of their clothes off.  Jermaine Stewart would be so disappointed.  Everyone should have just drunk more cherry wine.

 

Flatbush Misdemeanors:  Why exactly does Dan’s mom have box labeled “Wikileaks?”  But if she got back with her husband, does that mean Dan can get his job back?

 

In the Dark:  Were we supposed to know who the dude who killed the queenpin was?

 

Only Murders in the Building:  In a season full of daddy issues we finally got to see Mabel's dad and that got sad real quick. But my biggest take away from this episode was the person fleeing Mabel's apartment looked a bit skinnier than Glitter Guy and Guy in the Wall that Lucy saw. I have long thought that the killer and the art thief are two different people, so Glitter Guy/Guy in the Wall could very well be the art thief but not the killer (though I am beginning to think Glitter Guy and Guy in the Wall may even be two different people). Howard, Theo, and Will all have the build of Glitter Guy and Guy in the Wall, so who are our skinnier suspects? Cinda, Alice, Poppy, the waiter, and the still yet to be seen this season Oscar. So maybe my original theory that Cinda (and/or possibly Poppy) is killing people to keep her podcast going may end up being right. My last takeaway from this episode, did Oliver predict/cause this blackout?

 

Motherland: Fort Salem:  After an episode everyone went on separate missions, everyone is back together, even Rayell, but I feel like I for not understand where everything is happening.  I am getting late season Game of Thrones vibes where everyone can just go the length of the country (or even overseas) over the course of an episode.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Man, the editing really felt like Sarah was going to be eliminated.  But I feel bad for whoever get cat guy next week because it feels like he may go in every week until he is gone.

 

Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin: What the fork us going on with Mouse?  At first I thought she was doing her own version of To Catch a Predator, but now I wonder if she is just looking for a father figure.  Could that be her sperm donor?  But my prediction that Karen is A took a big hit this week, assuming a ballerina would not be able to lift a football player by his neck.  But Faran is picking up my Kelley is actually Karen theory.

 

The Resort:  So weird dude is leaking knowledge, whatever that means, but can see the future.  Okay.  Not really the big twist I was expecting. There has to be more.

 

Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-Head:  The duo watching reality shows during the last reboot did not quite work, but YouTube does fit a little better, them watching an ASMR was hilarious, but I still prefer music videos.  Though I think less of Beavis for like K-Pop.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: July 31, 2022

  

Westworld:  There seemed to be some debate on whether Christina was human or robot, but if she is controlling humans with her mind, she has to be a robot.  So I guess that means that Charlotte, who is just a clone brain ball of Delores, created someone who looks like her, reprogrammed her into Christina, but still put Delores’ memories in deep down, because Teddy (presumably sent by Bernard) seems like her is getting her to access them.  That is Bond villain level dumb plan.  Why doesn’t Chorlotte, who is Delores on the inside, just put herself in Delores’ body?

 

The Chi:  When did Emmitt and Trig become cards buddies?  I do not even remember them ever sharing a scene before this.  But there goes Emmitt’s celibacy, the under was easy money.

 

In the Dark:  When the boys were thinking of a place to stay, that made me wonder, just what happened to Guiding Hope?  While I guess Felix stopped paying the electricity bill on account he does not have any money left, but that is at least a place with a roof to stay.  I also got a strong feeling that grandma’s money might be coming from the drug trade and she will end up being at the top of the food chain.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  When we saw the guy in the diner with Will last week, I thought, that kind of has the shape of Will. When we saw the guy on the subway, I thought, that kind of has the shape of Will. But if Will is the one texting Oliver the video of Mabel stabbing Glitter Guy, that is probably, most definitely, not him. So who kind of has the same shape as Will? Well, his possible half-brother Theo. There is also Howard who is the person I first thought of when we saw the guy in the Arconia walls with Lucy. Which of these two would most likely text Oliver and Charles to get out of the building, but would also want to get any evidence of the murder? I wonder if Theo, who we know knows about secret passage ways, saw Bunny with Mabel, contacted the police then texted the other two.

I have never really thought Alice was the killer, maybe she was involved in art theft, but that was some psycho level stuff she was doing there. She may not be at the top of my murder board yet, but she moved much higher after this episode.

Then I was wondering after her reappearance this week, how many seasons does this show have to go before Saz is the victim?

But if I had only one word to sum of this episode, it would be: Soup!

 

Motherland: Fort Salem:  I am surprised everyone split up this week, especially Tally who went the completely different direction as everyone else.  Just how long is she going to stay on the West Coast with just four episodes left?

 

The Challenge: USA:  You gotta love a good comeuppance story, and even though I did not watch Big Brother, I do appreciate Alyssa finally got get revenge on Xander.  But really, what a dumb strategy to break all the glass.  That ended up being a 28 seconds penalty once you factor in the time it took the other team to finish, plus their much shorter penalty.  How did someone with such a short fuse win Big Brother?

 

Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin:  Well that was a flaming pile of hot garbage.  And I do not mean that in a good way.  It is clearly just IP fraud where someone came up with a generational slasher idea for a show called “Original Sin” and some executive at HBO Max said, what if we make the slasher a texter, call them “A,” and set it in Millwood?  But apparently Millwood high is a performing arts school that has film and ballet classes.  I know the original show was not high art, but the remake is so bad.  The physiological terror was an interesting take on the dawn of texting that did not take itself too seriously, but this new series is dead set on being serious, sucked all the humor out of the air and does not realize that slasher films do not translate to television because you can only kill so many people.  And I am not expecting them to be Meryl Streep, but the acting is so bad especially Imogen (give that girl a nickname quick) who routinely seems to forget she is supposed to be playing a pregnant lady. Since the show seems extremely predictable, it seems obvious to me that A is really Karen (a name way too on the nose, even though she turned out to be more likeable than the other girls on the show) and Kelly is actually the dead twin.  But on the bright side, at least they kept the theme music, though a crappier version.  Here is my way too early Pretty Little Liars Power Ranking:

1) Noa

2) Karen/Kelly

3) Faren

4) Mouse

5) Imogen

6) Tabby (seriously, enough with the movie references every time she opens her mouth)

 

The Resort:  Well that was weird.  But I feel like maybe it would have been better had it been weirder.  Usually with mystery shows like this, I have big predictions to make, but it does not feel like there is anything to predict other than they are both alive, but I am not entirely sure why I would predict that.  I wonder if I would like it more if it was longer.  When I see 35 minute run times, I guess I expect it to be funnier than it is.

 

Players:  I would be fine if this show does not be renewed.