57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/19/14

Once Upon a Time: Please no more Captain Hook centric episodes, that was almost as boring as the Neverland episodes.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Last season was the deconstruction of Don Draper, hitting rock bottom to the point he actually revealed his past to his children. One would believe this season will be the redemption of Draper. He impressed Peggy with a presentation via Freddie Rumson. He was even able to turn down the advances of a fellow plane passenger that vaguely looked like Neve Campbell and admit to her that his wife knows he is a horrible person. Wait that actually was Neve Campbell? Oh wow.

There have been conspiracy theories since the beginning of the show is that the title sequence foreshadowing someone literally jumping out of a window. Most of them center on Rodger. I am not one of them because I have always thought it was a metaphorical of someone’s downward spiral. But I have to admit during the final scene, there was part of me that thought, “Oh no, Don is going to throw himself off the balcony.”
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: This show is surprisingly good in a best case scenario for a network to rip off Homeland kind of way. Plus the show is not afraid to get weird, which usually happens in the kidnapped house. But since this is on the same network as Hannibal, it is disappointing when the show hints, but does not go there. Like when the capture told the nerd to “touch” the student council president, he goes in for the hug, disappears off camera, and then they end the scene. Obviously from the reactions afterwards something happened, but what exactly? You know Hannibal would not have cut that scene short.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

Revenge: Emily finally brought back her read Sharpie, but what exactly role did Victoria play in it? It sounded like she was setting Emily up for something, but it did not seem to play out.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: It has been a while since I have seen Lindsay Lohan in anything (I had to look at IMDB and aside from a cameo in Machete and a couple SNL hosting gigs, I have not see her in anything since Mean Girls, ten years ago). If this was the start of a comeback, she is going to have to go back to the drawing board because it was a pretty cringeworthy performance.
You can download 2 Broke Girls on iTunes.

Dallas: Very few things on television are truly shocking anymore, but I did not see Pamela breaking into J.R. Jr’s room just to offer up a threesome with his mistress.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I realized this episode just how much more I liked Agent Tripp on the team instead of the boring Ward. Hopefully they make this permanent. But I do have a sinking suspicion that Ward will turn out to be a triple agent. Sure that will be silly considering all the people he killed (but they could have been stunner bullets and Garrett did not bother to check for blood) and help get all the technology from SHIELD faculty (but it could be all planted). But then again, why would Coulson tell Ward of the secret floor with the Gravitron? Unless he wanted Ward to find it.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: Ugg, I am really ready for Tony to get his comeuppance. Since he was the focus of the whole episode, I was expecting someone was going to turn and blindside him. I still do not understand why the Brains on the bottom have not looked at the majority alliance, see there are three Brawn, two Beauties, and one Brain and give the, do not let the Brawn run away with this, let’s start a Brains and Beauty alliance and boot the Brawns. This week would have been perfect when it was three on three on three. I guess that can become a better sell in two weeks if a Brain is ousted next.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: I really wanted Philip and Elizabeth’s debate on the luxuries of capitalism to be longer. It is a fascinating discussion of enjoying the very ideas you are supposed to be fighting against. I at the very least would rather they have that discussion about their kids growing up as fully fledged Americans then watching the kids break into other people’s homes to play ColecoVision.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Many people considered last year a bastard season of the show without creator Dan Harmon around, but the lack of Pierce and Troy this season made this season feel just as disjointed. But I would still watch a sixth season and possibly a movie if there is one next year. If not, I would probably watch Celebrity Beat Off with ?uestlove instead. Though a Jeff and Britta spin-off sounds horrible. An Annie’s Boobs spin-off would be much better.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Parenthood: I was disappointed in the lack of Haddie lesbianism in the episode. We have not seen her all season; you could give her more than three of four scenes. And no one is going to point out her former black male boyfriend? We certainly defiantly did not need any of the Ryan scenes (oh please have Amber’s test come out negative). I guess it was a fitting ending of a lackluster season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: Oh Camilla, this is the very reason why you get invited back every season, because you are good for one epic drunken stupor per season. Sure the latest one probably does not crack the top five greatest Camilla drunken stupor power rankings, but I do wonder if this was a passing of the guard situation with Nany taking the drunken stupor torch from Camilla because Nany really out-Camillaed Camilla in that fight. If this is the end of the line for Camilla, it has been a hall of fame time run for her.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: It seems like I say this every episode, but the stuffing a dead person in a dead horse is the creepiest motif in the show’s history. Well that was until Jeremy Davies (how has it taken him that long to appear on this show; it seems so obvious) stuffed a living person into a dead horse.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/12/13

Once Upon a Time: I am okay with poetic license so if the show wants to turn Rumplestiltkin into the “Beast” or make Jack of the Beanstalk fame a chick, fine (though turning Captain Hook into a J. Crew model is a little silly) but I really do not like that they turned Neverland into Siberia for Lost Boys. Neverland may be the most magical land in the Disney library and to turn it into a living hell take poetic license too far. But being from the writers of Lost, I have a feeling in three seasons (if the show gets that far) we will learn Bay is Peter Pan who rescues the Lost Boys from the Shadow, who is probably being controlled by Captain Hook. I would not be surprised if Bay ended up back in Neverland through the portal he slipped through and now is living a Hook
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: I was really hoping that it would be Takeda killing Aiden because the show took a dive in the entertainment department right around he showed up. His character just made the show too complicated and muddled, and with him gone, I hoped they would go back to Emily taking people down again out of revenge for her father next season. That is if there is a next season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Mad Men: On any other show, when Peggy left SCDP, the question would not have been if she would ever end up working with Don, but when. But considering this show has no problem segregating its cast (I cannot remember the last time Betty interacted with anyone else, Gene’s birthday party maybe) or just cut ties with them completely (I wonder if Paul Kinsey ever got to write for Star Trek) I figured they would just stay their separate ways from the rest of the show. So it seemed a little cheesy that Don proposed a merger with Peggy’s current firm.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: Well that was a weird way to start a results show, “hey, we are throwing out half the ways you were allowed to vote… but do not worry, even though we discarded those votes, we still got the same result anyway.” What? When Carson first announced this, my second thought was this is what they are going to use to bring back whoever drew the short straw on Adam’s team because they probably would have been one of the top two vote getters on any other team (my first thought was the irrational Michael Jackson fanatics, which there are still plenty around, stuffed the internet voting and possibly the texting which I am not entirely sure how you manipulate texting but I am morally opposed to texting so I really do not know much about it).

But alas the resurrection of Caroline Glaser, who was voted off Adam’s team, due to “voting irregularities” did not happen unless there is a shocking twist coming Monday (and we are still owed a shocking event from when they hyped one in the Battle Round that never happened). And the show should want to give Caroline a reprieve because she was one of the two best selling artists on the show this season (baffling the other person, Sarah Simmons, is the other one). Caroline and Sarah were the only two contestants whose four songs all charted this season, while Caroline was the only one who had all four of her songs on the Top 200 Overall iTunes chart this week. Not only that, all four of her songs charted higher on Monday than Josiah Hawley who inexplicably is in the final 12 while Caroline is going home. (Even as I write this, all four of Caroline's songs are charting higher than one song by Judith.  The Voice should feel really embarrassed by this.)  During Usher’s save, I was hoping he would say, “Instead of saving these two who are a lock to go home anyway, I am going to wait to use my Save on whoever Adam gets rid of.” That would have been worthy of the move we were promise in the Battle Round that “shocked the other coaches and producers.”

What makes Caroline and Sarah, the two top sellers, being in Adam’s team worse is that America’s Save went Judith Hill. The other save went to Amber Carrington, who hit the teens on the charts, but Caroline and Sarah were not that far behind in the thirties while Judith barely cracked the top 100. Considering they threw out online voting and texting, there had to be an overwhelming amount of phone calls for Judith to catapult Caroline and Sarah. Combine that with the “voting irregularities” this just does not pass the smell test. How are there that many people who said, Judith’s performance was not good enough to buy, but I am going to vote for her anyway?

Judith of course is an RnB singer while Amber is a country artist. You know else sings RnB and country: everyone else America voted for not named Michelle Chamuel (I guess she should be happy that Usher did not have another RnB singer or a country artist on his team). That really makes for a boring final 12. And it will get even more homogeneous because I suspect rockers Josiah and Garrett will be gone within the first two weeks, if not the first two gone. Not that I will find out, because unless they bring back Caroline, there really is no one to get excited for unless you are a country or RnB fanatic. I doubt anyone this season could have made the top five last season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: Have we always known that Robin has a sister? When her father first mentioned the younger Serbowski, my first thought was, well she will turn out to be the titular Mother. Except it would make no sense, we already no the mother has been in New York City for a while, she partied with Sarah Chalke, roomed with Rachel Bilson, and sat in on Ted’s lecture. If Robin’s sister has been in the city this whole time, how have we never met her yet?
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: Not that Pierce Morgan had much integrity in the first place, but how do you go on a show as yourself and comment on the size of another man’s junk on your own television show (which actually airs opposite the same program)? Larry King would never have done that.

Castle: It seems like whenever the show has these big government conspiracy cases, it always turns out to be a very pedestrian killer like a relative or scorn lover (with of course the exception of whenever it involves their own family). And I actually kind of hope Beckett takes the Washington job, then maybe Castle can go back to following around Adam Baldwin’s character.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Grimm: I have always liked Nora Zehetner going back to her Everwood days but unfortunately a decade later she really has not gotten her big break yet. She was unfortunately shuffled off that show after her onscreen brother died. She was the most interesting character on the early episodes of Heroes but was quickly killed off. The only thing I remember seeing her in since was one of the hundreds of Hey I Know That Person cameos on Heroes but she did not stick around long enough to get bedded by Don Draper (but at least she was not sullied by Pete Campbell). I was actually hoping that her character on Grimm would cause Nick to kill Juliet and she would become the new love interest because Juliet is clearly the weak link on the show. The only problem is Nick is the second weakest link.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Note to self: whenever you go on Survivor, tank any Individual Reward Challenges. Much like I am shocked that anyone would actually buy food at the action because the money would be better spent on the “advantage’ and Jeff will always have one covered dud and another time he will pull the you can have this for yourself, or something for the tribe thing. It is also becoming more frequent that at least once a season, Jeff will do the you can keep the prize for yourself or everyone else can get it thing and that usually happens during the Loved Ones Challenge. This week had to easily be the cruelest of Jeff’s ploys. He actually let Brenda choose Dawn, THEN said their was a second Loved One hiding on the island, AND THEN gave her the option of everyone but her AND Dawn the loved ones time. And then to make things worse, they actually had the barbecue within shouting distance. That was just cruel Jeff. And then Brenda learned the hard way why you do not want to win these challenges. It is a lose-lose situation. If you chose your Loved Ones, everyone will hate you and will not win if you make it to the finals. If you give up your Loved One, everyone will view you as a threat to win and try to vote you out, which actually happened to Brenda hours after her good deed. Though that was a stupid vote, I would much more worried of Eddie going on an Idol run than Brenda, and like I explained last week, Eddie already had three automatic votes on the jury. Oh well. We did finally get a first look of Andrea on the jury, and I am not sure who packs a cocktail dress when going on the show, but I am glad she did. Wow.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Nashville: Of course Juliette has a sex tape. But I take it they are going to save the reveal of Maddie’s paternity for the season finale to Deacan, and maybe Maddie herself. I guess the question is how they will find out? Will Rayna finally confess after all these years? will Teddy let it slip in a jealous rage? Will it be released in a tabloid? For the entertainment value, let’s hope it is the third option.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: That was the most disturbing sex scene I have ever seen.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: Well this season of Community written fan-fic is finally over. At least we got one last glimps of Evil Annie in a tight red dress before it was thankfully put out of its misery, so it made the season worth it. Wait, it was renewed? Oh goodness.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: So a therapist has his very own therapist. Though I have a feeling Hannibal just goes to Scully just to play with her. And what is going on with Abigail Hobbs? She was just resigned to a dream sequence this week, but I would really like to see her in the middle of the Hannibal / Will tug of war for her soul.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

I Want My Music Television: 3/11/13

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


February Seven - The Avett Brothers


Who would of guessed that an intro of The Avett Brothers fighting with each other would be so entertaining. I wonder if there is a tape out there like the one that the Gallagher brothers released at the height of Oasis which somehow managed to crack the singles charts in England.


Something Like Olivia – John Mayer


I do not know why it crossed my mind while watching this video, but I wonder if John Mayer wrote this song about Olivia Munn. I know something like Olivia Munn is what I need to find.


Why Am I the One - Fun.


Who would have guessed a music video about a suitcase would be so depressing? Thanks for not living up to your name Fun..


Downtown - Lady Antebellum


So were Lady Antebellum unable to get Kat Dennings? I cannot imagine they were sitting around wondering if they could get the other chick from 2 Broke Girls to be in their video.

57 Channels and Only This Is On 12/2/12

Quote of the Week: Believe it or not I’m your best friend in the world right now. (Quinn, Homeland)

Song of the Week: Hello – Lionel Richie (Suburgatory)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: iTunes 11 Sucks Massively: If there is one mantra that I live by, it was uttered by the great philosopher Garth Adler in the seminal Wayne's World movie: I fear change. And I really hate unnecessary change. Yet from the New Darrin to New Coke companies have continued to try to fix things that were not broken including the latest version of iTunes. I understand the sprucing up of your look, but iTunes claims the new version of the program makes thing simpler but many things are actually made harder, most notably the new search function. Previously whenever you typed something in the search box, it limited your library to songs, artists and albums. Now there is a drop box actually making it harder to find what you are looking for.

And then there are the parts they erroneously left out of the new version. I am furious that the DJ function did not make the upgrade. That was how I listened to my library. I also do not like that you cannot display duplicates anymore, I download a lot of crap, so that was nice thing to have to delete and clean up songs I already have. And for some reason they added songs from the Cloud to my library even though I have never actually used the iTunes Cloud before. iTunes even managed to make the podcast page look more cluttered. Worst of all it is slow, whenever I press “ok” it takes 5-20 seconds to actually do anything. I am not happy. Hopefully this will all get fixed with the next update, until I will probably use Spotify to listen to my Holiday and Best of 2012 playlists.

Preview Picture of the Week:


Revenge: Oh snap, just in case you did not realize how evil Victoria is, she totally set up her own mother. On Thanksgiving. Although it was a little weird that Charlotte was absent at the dinner (granted I did miss the first couple minutes because a local kid was kidnapped). But the Stowaway was a completely worthless flashback even if it set up that the evil dude who bought into the bar is the song of the evil dude who extorted the bar who has come back for… revenge. Actually I did not really care that much about Nolan’s CFO or how Emily met the British dude.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Homeland: I had this fear that Quinn just showed up this season so they had someone to be the mole from last season that I did not really care about. Instead it turned out to be part of a super-secret FBI team specializing in killing terrorists (even if they are working for them). I also thought when I learned Mike would be staying over that he would end up hooking up with Mrs. Brody until I realized she would not actually do that with her kids in the other room. Oops. Apparently she did not care. It was like episode one all over again, Mrs. Brody gets naked, Dana is a brat, and Chris is just hanging out. Now the question is what is Abu Nazir’s contingency plan? Or was this his masterplan the whole time or just a diversion?

The Voice: Far and away the most shocking and noteworthy item on The Voice this week were learning Bill Withers was still alive. Who knew? Since Rick Rubin started the craze of producing long forgotten singers like Johnny Cash (also see Jack White/Wanda Jackson, Damon Alburn/Bobby Womack, Tim Armstrong/Jimmy Cliff, Jeff Tweedy/Mavis Staples) I really hope Cee-Lo uses this opportunity to produce a new Bill Withers album which would be his first in over twenty-five year. Way too long.

Really the only other interesting parts of the episode was when Adam Levine went off on The Roxy, Melanie Martinez’s ex-boyfriend (while she looked on in horror), but not Dez Duron who’s performance deserved it the most. A lackluster performance week where everyone managed to be worse than the previous week (with the exception of Trevin) so as part of this week’s Power Ranking, I have made some suggestions of songs to sing.

1. Nicholas David – I was going to suggest Donny Hathaway, but I am about to complain about other singers being complacent, so instead of another seventies soul song, since his Huey Lewis cover was the most bizarrely awesome performance of the season, maybe try the nineties version of The News and sing Hold My Hand by Hootie and the Blowfish.

2. Cassadee Pope – She had her breakout performance last week with an emotional country ballad, so why not try it again with Colder Weather by Zac Brown Band, a song she can actually relate to on multiple levels because not only has she done a lot of touring, so has her boyfriend.

3. Amanda Brown – I’m surprised no has tackled Thinkin Bout You by Frank Ocean this season, and as Amanda showed during Dream On, she definitely can hit that falsetto part. Just do not turn it into a rock song. In fact go the other way and make it just Amanda and an acoustic guitar.

4. Melanie Martinez – She has done pretty much somewhat obscure alt-rock (or as obscure as a song that gets played in a commercial about as often as political ads over the last three months) and old time blues songs, how about combining them with Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand by the Primitive Radio Gods (which of course samples BB King).

5. Terry McDermott – I originally thought the Scottish singer should take something out the Irish songbook of U2, but how about bringing him in the new millennium with "45" by The Gaslight Anthem.

6. Trevin Hunte – Trevin tried contemporary music last week and failed miserably and when he went back to old emotional RnB it just started to sound tired. So it is time to think outside the box like Something to Believe In by Poison.

And without Dez Duron, Christina Aguilera gets her third straight last place finish. Hopefully Shakira has a better ear for good singers. I also laughed at Christina assertion that Chris Mann is the most successful contestant ever on The Voice. I would like to see her numbers because Javier Colon, Dia Frampton, and Xenia all charted higher than Chris and he is the only one from season two that has released an album yet, so really no competition . Maybe this is way she always performs so bad on the show because she is completely delusional.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice by clicking on the artist’s name.

2 Broke Girls: How could do an episode with all that blood splatter and not make a Dexter reference? Sure they are too poor for premium cable (I do not even remember seeing a television in their apartment), but I am sure Max has figured how to steal it by now.

Survivor: Philippines: I am actually starting to root for Abi-Maria. I got a laugh when she managed to win Immunity and the alliances had to turn on each other. Though has no one ever watched the show before? Of course Probst was going to sell some sort of clue. It is really not a good sign when Abi is the smartest player out there. So you have to wonder if everyone is dumb enough to fall for her fake Immunity Idol.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Nashville: It is clear that they need to get Rayna and Juliette in the same room at the same time more often because watching those two go out it passive aggressively is the most entertaining part of the show (and I think this is the first time they crossed path since the first episode). Maybe they should go out on tour together.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: We Three Kings - Rod Stewart featuring Mary J. Blige (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5: This month’s five dollar albums include albums from The Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, Lauryn Hill, and Bruce Springsteen.


New Album Release of the Week: The Complete Columbia Album Collection

New DVD Release of the Week: The Dark Knight Trilogy (Batman Begins / The Dark Knight / The Dark Knight Rises)

Video of the Week: I am beginning to think that the Pretty Little Liars promos are more interesting than the actual show because I got more excited watching this that I have the last season or two.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Walking Dead, Sunday at 9:00 on AMC: I figured last week it would take an entire episode for Rick and his crew to make it to Woodbury and that turned out to be the case after a brief detour into the den of some paranoid dude. But they got there which should lead to an explosive mid-season finale when Rick will (presumably) go head to head with the Governor and (again presumably) get the long overdue Dixon family reunion which I have a feeling will not be all that friendly. And who knows, maybe Andrea will finally get killed off.

Best of the Week - 10/27/12

Quote of the Week: I’ll tell you what doesn’t count: the Miami Heat’s most recent NBA championship. It was an injury-plagued, strike-shortened season. Therefore LeBron still needs six rings to even get into a conversation with Jordan. Also Chris Bosh looks like one of Omar’s boyfriends from The Wire. (Jane, Happy Endings)

Song of the Week: Dust In the Wind – Kansas (as sung by Ryan and Steven, Go On)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Fish Slapped!: Forget bayonets, God sanctioned rapes or how John Sununu is racist simple and plain (mutherfrack him and John Wayne), the most important thing that happened this week were all the people that got slapped by a fish. On Tuesday The Black Keys and RZA released a music video to see who is The Baddest Man Alive, the Keys may have some mad lettuce tossing skills, but RZA clearly was after slapping Dan Auerbach in the head with a fish. And just when you thought you had your quota of fish slapping this week, the very next day it showed up on The Challenge where, after a couple rounds of truly bizarre events, TJ Lavin saved the best event for last when two people had to joust each other, but instead a padded lance, they had to knock each other using nothing but a fish. Awesome. Let’s face it, the last presidential debate would have been much more interesting is instead of fighting over bayonets, the two candidates fought with fish.


Preview Picture of the Week:


Free Download of the Week: Fall Sampler – Dr. Dog (Noise Trade)

Deal of the Week: Every Norah Jones Album for $5.00

New Album Release of the Week: Cee Lo's Magic Moment - Cee-Lo Green

New DVD Release of the Week: Chuck: The Complete Series - Collector Set

Video of the Week: I loved Army of Darkness and quickly also picked up the first two Evil Dead movies (sure it is a bit weird to watch the third movie first), but like every reboot, I really had no desire for a reimagining of the film. On the bright side, both Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell are signed on for the reboot. On the other side, Sam is not directing and Bruce is not acting in it (unless when he said he was going to show up as the milkman was not a joke). Now we have the first look at the movie and holy crap it is scary. It even gives plenty of throwbacks to the original: point of view evil running through the wood, the Necronomicon, self arm amputation, a chainsaw, tree rape. They even throw in a new tongue cutting scene for fun. I am still on the fence for an Evil Dead reboot, but I am kind of excited for the thought that this could lead to a potential Tessa Altman vs. the Army of Darkness movie.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Voice, Monday and Tuesday at 8:00 on NBC: Big changes on The Voice this season as they expanded the teams from twelve to sixteen (twice as many as the first season) which meant adding another obstacle to the Lice Shows: The Knockout Round. Like moths rules on The Voice little was about the Knockout Rounds but from the look at the promo it looks eerily similar to the Battle Rounds except instead of the coach picking a song the two sing together, two contestants will sing songs of their own choosing (that can be cleared) with one being declared the winner with five from each moving on to the Live Shows. The Knockout Rounds will all air over two nights (Tuesday is being expanded to two hours), and with forty performances scheduled, I am expecting a lot of montage advances considering they only crammed three battles or five auditions per hour previously. I doubt they will cram in ten full performances per hour in the knockouts because they will still have to set aside some time to remind us that MacKenzie almost died and Adriana was part of a home invasion. If I were a betting man these are the people I would put money on advancing to the Live Shows (please note these are not the people I think should advance; you can wait until Monday’s Power Ranking to see who I think should):

Team Adam: Bryan Keith, Melanie Martinez, Nicole Nelson, Joselyn Rivera, Kayla Nevarez
Team Blake: Cassadee Pope, Terry McDermott, Suzanna Choffel, Gracia Harrison, and Liz Davis
Team Cee-Lo: Trevin Hunte, Avery Wilson, MacKenzie Bourge, Nicholas David, Caitlin Michelle
Team Chritina: Adriana Louis, Devyn Deloera, De’Borah, Aquile, Dez Duron

Best of the Week - 5/5/12

Quote of the Week: You can’t escape it, Don. Soon your little girl will spread her legs and fly. (Megan’s dad, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: You Oughta Know – Alanis Morrissette (as sung by June, Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: A Melancholy Happy Trails to Adam Yauch: I grew up with the Beastie Boys. Quite literally. I was a childish elementary school student when the sophomoric License to Ill came out. I was going through my alternative phase as they got weird on Check Your Head. I was heading out to the club when the released their most danceable Hello, Nasty. And I was getting political when they released their pro-New York, anti-Bush To the the 5 Boroughs. Where most groups have a standout performer, no one have a favorite Beastie Boy, they were all equally great and at their best when they were trading lines. I can count the number of artist whose whole catalogue I own on one hand and the Beastie Boys were one of them. MCA’s diagnosis of cancer pushed back the release of Hot Sauce Committee, part 1 in 2009 which did not get released until a year later (renamed part 2) but his illness kept him from promoting the album and recently had to miss his induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last month (which will be premiering on HBO tonight).

Free Download of the Week: China Girl – David Bowie (Google Play)

Deal of the Week: 100 Album for $5 on Amazon MP3: This month’s $5 albums include Norah Jones, Amos Lee, Dawes, and Rosie Thomas.



New Album Release of the Week: Strangeland - Keane

New DVD Release of the Week: Chuck: The Complete Fifth Season

Video of the Week: I have been worshiping at the altar of Apatow for about a decade now, but something is just not working with the first trailer to his four movie that he wrote and directed This Is Forty, a sequel of sorts to Knocked Up (which was probably done so he didn’t have to work with Katharine Heigl again which is understandable). At one point Leslie Mann tells Paul Rudd his eyes are glazing over an that is actually what he looks like throughout the whole trailer when he is fully clothed. And the only part I actually laughed was the “No technology” line. Hopefully this is just a case of a bad trailer and movie ends up being much better.



Next Week Pick of the Week: 2 Broke Girls, Monday at 8:00 on CBS: Sure the show ranks number one on my list of the most disappointing show of the season but Kat Dennings still carries the show fairly well even if all the other characters are one dimensional and the second lead has an annoying voice. But Caroline is less annoying than The Voices of other people that will be airing during the same timeslot on Monday.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/22/12

Mad Men: How disappointing that Trudy Campbell did not do the Zoo Be Zoo dance at her dinner party. On the bright side, I finally got to see someone beat the crap out of her husband which I have waited to happen since the first season.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: If I were Mark Burnett, my mantra for The Voice would be “Don’t be American Idol.” Idol is a painfully bad amateur karaoke contest and The Voice has pretty much done everything right in two season (sure I can knick pick some of the coach’s decision *cough*Erin Martin*cough*) even the phrasing they use is better than Idol. Contestants are eliminated on Idol. Singers on The Voice “win” battles. Then in the Live Shows there are America’s “Saves” and Coach “Saves”, very positive words. But The Voice had an epic fail this week by introducing Instant Elimination. “Elimination”: a very negative word. If anything should be eliminated it is the Instant Eliminations next season.

Sure Blake Shelton went the easy and obvious root by chopping off Jordis who did not receive America’s vote last round and gave another mediocre performance. Christina Aguilera had a much tougher decision because he save last time, Ashley De La Rosa gave the strongest performance of the night. With that said, I still thought going into the elimination that Jesse Campbell was the most safe, Ashley still would have been a safe pick to go, Lindsey Pavao has been the front runner on the team but gave a very bland performance, and I thought Chris Mann was most likely to go after a painful performance and a string of boring performance. But Christina booting Jesse is the most shocking moment in two seasons of The Voice. Christina just cannot win, prior to the elimination she had the moment of the night when she and a couple male strippers serenaded Blake with Hillbilly Bone and no one is talking about that because of the elimination.

Almost as disappointing as Jesse’s elimination was Lindsey’s performance. I was ready to pronounce her the winner after her amazing performance of Say Aah and her performances of Heart Shape Box and Somebody That I Used to Know were weirdly awesome, but Part of Me just did not work. What’s worse is when she announced she was going to perform Rihanna I thought to myself, “wow, this should be interesting, I can’t wait to hear what she does with this medley (assuming her medley was not an actually medley like Moses Stones) but when she changed it to Katy Perry, my first thought was, “Ugg.” (I pretty much had the same reaction when Naia Kete went from doing a reggae version of Turning Tables to a straight version of the song; seriously, someone needs to take away his Adele album before we are stuck hearing Jermaine Paul’s version of Rumour Has It).

As shocking as it was, Jesse being shown the door was not even the most surprising moment of the week as I was much more shocked when Carson announced Chris Mann was saved by America, looking at Christina’s feigned clapping and Adam’s blank face after the reveal, I was not the only one that did not see this coming. If Christina thinks Tony Lucca is one-dimensional, what does she think of Chris? Is there such a thing as a fourth of a dimension? The guy is a bore and his version of Viva la Vida was painfully bad and was the only time this season I considered muting the television that did not involve Erin Martin. What is worse is that he was the least selling contestant from his team on iTunes. There is a significant flaw in the voting system of The Voice when the worst selling artist can get voted through especially when it is at the expense of the person who sold the most (who was Ashley this week). I suggested this last season and I am going to again, they should give equal weight to each voting method: 33% for online voting, 33% for phone calls, and 33% for iTunes sale. That way the people who use their hard earned money to support their favorite contestants are not drowned out by the fanatics that create hundreds fake accounts to stuff the ballot for less deserving contestants like Chris.



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can download music from this week in the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: Nothing depressed me this week more than realizing I am Ted when it comes to living without a roommate.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: Someone should have told Max that yes the government takes taxes right out of her paycheck, but if she filed her tax returns she makes so little she would probably get almost all of that back.

Castle: If there is not a Slaughter spin-off on ABC’s schedule next season I am going to be severely disappointed. At the very least he better show up in at least five episodes next season (and one more this season). I worried a little that we did not see him again because when Beckett took over the case I thought they were going to have it that Slaughter set the whole thing up and murdered Glitch.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Ever since the introduction of the auction into the game I have wondered why no one goes, I would rather pocket the $500 dollar because I am certainly not spending that kind of money on a bowl of peanut butter and Tarzan finally put his money to practical use. Until he changed his mind. As befuddling is when people who clearly on the bottom of their alliances are content to get max sixth (unless you can win immunity that round) place instead of a guaranteed fifth place and a possibility of a win. But on the bright side, we are almost guaranteed to have more Kat, who cannot grasp the concept of an auction at $20 increments or what the “B” in BLT stands for, in our lives, at least to the final four, and that is fine by me.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Suburgatory: Oh Alicia Silverstone, where have you been these last lonely fifteen years. Can we just go ahead and add her to the cast already?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: It is about time Vicky’s former life caught up to her, unfortunately Emily did not stick around to see it. And just what was Emily doing making a spare key from the thug that sent a “message” to Daniel in pison?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: After this episode, I am beginning to understand Chevy Chase’s voice mail rants. But then again, who can complain too much when there are double Annie Edision’s involved.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/19/12

Once Upon a Time: When Mr. Gold started beating the owner of Game of Thorns (great name) for contributing to the death of his daughter I thought there was no way they actually killed off Belle. When the Evil Queen talked about how she threw herself out of a tower I thought there was no way they killed of Belle. During Gold and Regina’s discussion in the jail I thought to myself, there is no way they killed off Belle. And just when I thought, well maybe they actually did kill off Belle, Regina started entering a code at the hospital (who puts a secret room behind an emergency exit?) and goes down the mental ward (I assume) wear we see that Belle is in fact alive and well in the real world. It only took half the season, but this was the first great plot twist on the show. Hopefully Regina has more characters down there. And the show really needs to forget about focusing on the battle between Emma and Regina and spend more time on the battle between Regina and Gold.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Greatest wedding toast ever. From now on, you cannot consider it a good wedding toast unless someone pulls a gun on you.

The Walking Dead: After the mid-season finale I was ready to come back with a vengeful Hershel killing off everybody, Shane, Rick, Lori, T-Dog, Andrea, Dale, Carol; he could have mercy on Glen and Daryl if he wishes, but I would like to see most of the main cast brutally murdered. Unfortunately that did not happen (of course there is no way Lori could possibly survive that car crash and if so would be eaten before someone finds her; but I but she manages to avoid death) but at least they finally introduced some interesting characters in the form of Britt from Terriers. Oh wait, they killed him before the end of the episode. I really hate this show.
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

House of Lies: Seeing Veronica Mars in her pedestrian clothes again, it is just a reminder how she is wastes wearing pant suits all the time. I may have to start up a Free Ronnie campaign.

How I Met Your Mother: When Robin told Ted that Kumar dumped her I thought, “oh crap, they better not get these two back together” and minutes later Ted tells Robin he loved her. Uggg. If we have to sit through another season of Ted and Robin coupled I may finally have to give up on the show.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Voice: What a bunch of tomato cans all of the constants were this week. I’d be shocked if any of them make it out of the Battle Round. Hopefully the show did not just front load all the great talent for after the Super Bowl because think we still have two more weeks of Blind Auditions.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

2 Broke Girls: Apparently the writers have heard the critique of how often the resort to vagina jokes on the show and actually outted the word as Max’s favorite.

The Lying Game: I realize the problem with the show: not enough red herrings, and by not enough I mean none. Who killed the drug dealer was pretty easy to figure out because it had to be the DA (or someone he hired to do it) because there were no other possibilities but him. Same with the twins parents: it has to be Rebecca and Ted because there is no one else. The show really needs to build a mystery better.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Castle: I do not know what Alexis would not tell her dad of her new internship, he was going to find out the first time they get called in. And as someone who has had to do trunk duty when we could not find enough designated drivers back in college, I doubt the lack of oxygen theory that Beckett had. But there has to be a reason why the trained assassin let them live, I am guessing he turns out to have gone rouge for the greater good.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

The River: The cameraman realizing he had to go underground to retrieve the antidote was the greatest use of censorship since The Osbornes went off the air. But then ending of the tribesmen backing off because someone sacrificed themselves was just absurd. I wonder how long it takes the crew to realize they should listen to the Spanish chick jungle legends before running off on an adventure willy nilly?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: If someone takes out my kidneys, said I need to get twenty grand in four hours or I die and hands be a gun to get the job done, I do not care if I am a wanted fugitive, I am shooting the dude and taking my kidneys to the nearest hospital to be put back in. But God bless Dewey Crowe, not only does he not realize that none of the symptoms the nurse detailed were happening, he is the only person that does not realize that all store clerks keep shotguns under the counter. But it was weird watching the episode considering that it had the same theme as one of the plots of Raylan (see my review: It's a Shame He Wasn't a Wanted Felon so I Could Shoot Him He Resisted) but still changed a bunch of details.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Parenthood: Seriously, someone needs to tell Bob Little, nailing the intern is the number one Cardinal Rule of politics and with, as Michael Bluth would say, “Her?”. But poor Amber, this is the first time she gets some action on the show since the premiere and it gets interrupted by her aunt.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Suburgatory: Tessa trying to sing has to be the funniest thing of the week. I have re-watched that way too many times.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: There is nothing I hate more in television than episodes that open with a “x amount of time earlier” and Revenge is the first show that I can remember doing it in the first episode with a resolution not coming until later in the series. And now that we have finally seen the series come full circle, I may be more let down that I expected. From the first episode I expected Daniel not to be the dead body and from the moment he stepped on screen I knew the rent boy would be the one that ended up dead even though he looked nothing like Daniel and no one would confuse the two. But it managed to be even more disappointing because the premiere’s first scene just did not seem to sync up well with the most recent episode. Making things worse, the plot they teased in the premiere, Jack killing Daniel, is a much more interesting plot twist than what presumably happened: Amanda killing rent boy and framing Daniel. Or Jack. Actually I am not really sure what was going on. Why did Amanda smear blood on Jack and then drive off to the beach? Did she try to set up two people to make sure no one comes after her? After a really good first ten episodes, the show really fumbled this moment. Hopefully it can get back on track by the finale.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: It is a shame that Leonard did not have as the tie breaker a foot race, because that would have been more entertaining than throwing the ball the highest, although maybe it would have been too much like Sue Heck trying out for Cross Country.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 1/7/12

Quote of the Week: Shame is over rated, like Ke$ha. In fact they should rename shame Ke$hame. I just bought a Ke$ha album, I’m so ke$hamed. (Max, 2 Broke Girls)

Song of the Week: Nothing Else Matters – Lissie (Revenge)

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Television Is Already Back: Forget about the caucus (who cares what Iowa thinks anyway; go Jon Huntsman!) networks are already bringing back their shows the first week into the new year. Here is what I will be watching this winter. Premiere dates in parentheses if it has not already returned.

Mondays
8:00 – How I Met Your Mother – CBS
8:00 – Pretty Little Liars – ABC Family
8:30 – 2 Broke Girls – CBS
9:00 – The Lying Game – ABC Family
10:00 – Castle – ABC (1/9)

Tuesdays
8:00 – Switched at Birth – ABC Family
8:00 – Last Man Standing – ABC
8:30 – Work It – ABC
9:00 – The River – ABC (2/7)
10:00 – Justified – FX (1/17)
10:00 – Parenthood – NBC

Wednesdays
8:00 – Survivor: One World – CBS (2/15)
8:00 – The Middle – ABC
8:30 – Suburgatory – ABC
9:00 – Modern Family – ABC
9:30 – Happy Endings – ABC
10:00 – Revenge – ABC
10:00 – The Challenge: Exes – MTV (1/24)

Thursdays
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (1/12)

Fridays
8:00 – Chuck – NBC (Series Finale 1/27)
9:00 – Grimm (1/13)
10:00 – Real Time with Bill Maher (1/13)

Sundays
8:00 – Once Upon a Time – ABC (1/8)
9:00 – Shameless – Showtime (1/8)
9:00 – The Walking Dead – AMC (2/12)
10:00 – House of Lies – Showtime (1/8)
10:00 – Pan Am (1/8)
10:00 – Leverage (Season Finale 1/15)
10:00 – Mad Men – AMC (3/16)

Free Download of the Week: If you scrolled through my list of the 100 Best Songs of 2011 there are actually a couple songs that you can download for the low, low price of free.

#5 Helplessness Blues – Fleet Foxes (Rcrdlbl)
#25. Freak Out – Tapes n’ Tapes (Rcrdlbl)
#34. Freaks and Geeks – Childish Gambino (I Am Donald)
#36. Nylons in a Rip - Nikka Costa (Amazon MP3)
#62. Bonfire (Clean) - Childish Gambino (Amazon MP3)
#79. Get Some – Lykke Li (Rcrdlbl)
#88. Monster – Kanye West featuring Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Bon Iver and Nicki Minaj (Rcrdlbl)
#93. Make My – The Roots (Rcrdlbl)
#96. Little Lie – Lindi Ortega (Spinner)

For those who would like to listen to my list but are too lazy or lack the hard drive space to download the songs, I have created a Spotify playlist for you listening pleasure. And be sure to follow me because I’ll be uploading my entire yearly (and decade) lists over the next couple months and Best Songs of 1996 is already up.

Deal of the Week: Over 1000 Album for $5: Best of 2011: Amazon MP3 has over 1000 albums on sale for five dollars this month including a bunch that were released just last year including number one on my list of the 20 Best Albums of 2011, Helplessness Blues by the Fleet Foxes. Also making my list at that price include the latest from Raphael Saadiq (#2), Blitzen Trapper and Danger Mouse.



New Album Release of the Week: Fallen Empires - Snow Patrol

New DVD Release of the Week: Boardwalk Empire: The Complete First Season

Video of the Week: The movie The Firm is a little before my time (and since I am old, it makes me wonder who this show is for; apparently NBC is finally going for the anciently old CBS demographic). Now The Firm the television show has its two hour premiere Sunday at 9:00 and here is a sneak peak of the premiere. Please note that the show settles into its regular timeslot later this week on Thursday at 10:00.

Looking for the Truth


Next Week Pick of the Week: House of Lies, Sunday at 10:00 on Showtime: You can check out my preview here (Previewing House of Lies) and even if you do not subscribe to the premium channel, that are having a free preview weekend so check your cable provider and maybe you will be able to sample the return of Veronica Mars to the small screen.