Everytime She Sneezes I Believe it's Love

A new feature at my blog is the Scooter Hall of Fame. SHoF will be a monthly award to one of my favorite form of entertainment. The first inductee into the SHoF is an album that formed my formative years, the Counting Crows' Augest and Everything After.



My first experience with the Counting Crows, like most people, was back in 1993 with the addition of Mr. Jones into the heavy rotation at MTV (yes kiddies, MTV once showed a lot of videos). I was hooked from the first guitar riff and the pseudo-Van Morrison Sha-la-la's. I'm sure everyone at the time thought they were the character singing the song and had their own personal Mr. Jones. Unfortunately, since I was underage at the time, there was no New Amsterdam, but instead I had the Cafeteria and I had to substitute dance team dancers due to the lack of flamingo or Spanish dancers. But I've lost count of the amount of times me and my Mr. Jones said, "She’s looking at you, I don't think so, she's looking at me." At the time, I didn't want to be Bob Dylan, I wanted to be Adam Duritz (and this was before I learned he dated 2/3 of the female cast of Friends). Then you add a video with some dreadlocks. How could this miss? So I rushed out as soon as I could and got the album.

The album starts off with the other song that was a soundtrack to the mid-90's, Round Here. How can you not like a song that references Elvis and a naked woman in the same song? And since hearing this song, for a long time I tried walking the edge where the ocean meets the land whenever at a beach. The one problem with the song is when I leaned that they do not sing "God laughs sometimes" as it was one of my favorite lines in the song. Rather the line, in actuality goes, "got lots of time."

The highlight of the album, and one of my favorite songs of all-time, is Anna Begins. The song includes some lyrics I still quote today. "I am not worried, I am not overly concerned." "Every time she sneezes I believe it's love." I remember at the time, me and my friends were obsessed with then line "Maybe I should snap in a butterfly net, pin her down on a photograph album."

Another song of note is Raining in Baltimore. I always a big fan of the piano, and this is the only song on the album that features the instrument. The song is horribly depressing (but in a good way) that I believe is about being isolated from everyone (or some one in particular) that you love. This is a great song to put on if you are in the same predicament.

The album closer, A Murder of One, gives us an insight into the band's name:


Casting shadows on the winter sky as you stood there counting crows
One for sorrow
Two for joy
Three for the girls and four for the boys
Five for silver
Six for gold
Seven for a secret never to be told

Of course the title does not to homicide rather a murder is a flock of crows. So a murder of one would be a crow.

The Counting Crows followed up August and Everything After with a potential SHoF-er, Recovering the Satellites featuring yet another instant classic, A Long December. Unfortunately, it has gone downhill for the Counting Crows since then. One would assume that dating actresses and models does not help with the depressing lyrics that populated the earlier albums. Thus leaving us with an ill-advised cover of Big Yellow Taxi and upbeat songs Hanginaround, American Girls, and Accidentaly in Love. So a message to all the models and actresses out there, please stop dating Adam Duritz so we can get the classic Counting Crows back.

(Insert Lame April Fools Joke Here)

I'm not the biggest fan of April Fools joke, so you won't be seeing any, "If you are reading this, I'm dead. Just kidding. Ha Ha April Fools" type blog here. Shame on anyone who tries something like that. The main reason is that most people are just not funny. But one April Fools Joke that still sticks in my head happened back in 1996, Taco Bell took out this full size ad in multiple newspapers across the county (Which I still have... somewhere... I think):

For those whose eyesight is as bad as mine this is what it says:

Taco Bell Buys the Liberty Bell.

In an effort to help the national debt, Taco Bell is pleased to announce that we have agreed to purchase the Liberty Bell, one of our country's most historic treasures. It will now be called the "Taco Liberty Bell" and will still be accessible to the American public for viewing. While some may find this controversial, we hope our move will prompt other corporations to take similar action to do their part to reduce the country's debt.

Now that is pure humor right there. So if you cannot top this, just sit back and leave the jokes to the professionals today. That includes you Mr. Whoopee Cushion owner.

I Wonder What Shawn Bradley's Thoughts are About This?

Mark Cuban (yes, that Mark Cuban) has a very interesting take on the music industries lawsuits against illegal downloaders. It is a little better argument than my "maybe people would buy music if they released better albums."

Check out Cuban's take here - Let’s test the RIAA logic… - Blog Maverick

And if you look back a post or two, Cuban takes on MGM lawsuit against Grokster where he takes the side of Grokster which is something that directly affects his as a content owner.

Check that out at - Let the truth be told…MGM vs. Grokster

Interesting takes from a guy who worked at Dairy Queen not too long ago.

I think the title is inspiring me to break out my old copy of NBA Jam for a little Big Head Bradley vs. Big Head Muresan. (He's on fire! Yes!)

Jobu's Revenge

Last night was the draft for my head to head fantasy baseball league, the California Penal League. Unfortunately I had a late draft pick, 9th, but that will just make have to work harder for my championship. My main problem right now is that not one of my batters hit over .300 last season. I think I was too busy making sure I didn't fall short in steals or saves like I did last year. So without further ado, here's the roster for Jobu's Revenge:

C - B. Inge (Det)
1B - A. Huff (TB)
2B - C. Figgins (Anh)
3B - A. Boone (Cle)
SS - D. Jeter (NYY)
OF - C. Crawford (TB)
OF - C. Patterson (ChC)
OF - S. Finley (ANH)
Util - J. Valentín (LAD)

BN
D. McPherson (Anh)
M. LeCroy (Min)
J. Lane (Hou)

SP
J. Schmidt (SF)
C. Carpenter (StL)
L. Hernández (Was)
B. Arroyo (Bos)
J. Lima (KC)

RP
B. Lidge (Hou)
J. Smoltz (Atl)
B. Ryan (Bal)
C. Cordero (Was)

Obviously Smoltz will be moved to the SP after he gets some starts under his belt as he's only available as a reliever right now. Hopefully I can find a midseason gem (I did snag D. Willis two seasons ago) because my bench looks a little weak right now.

I Wish the Real World Would Stop Hassling Me

The next cast of The Surreal Life has been announced. I have a feeling that they will not surpass this season's opener with Mini-Me driving in his scooter, naked, stopping in a corner to, umm, relieve himself, then being carried back to bed by a suddenly buff Peter Brady. That was a Top 10 All-Time TV moment. The next season cast includes:

Bronson Pinchot, better know to children of the 80's as Balki Bartokomous. Although he should also be heralded as the person who started the "Gay People are Funny" stereotype way back in 1984 as Serge in the Beverly Hills Cop movies. This is a trend that still goes on today with characters like Jack on Will & Grace and the gay homosexuals on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. He will be playing the token washed up actor (Emmanuel Lewis, Erik Estrada, Dave Coulier, Christopher Knight).

Caprice Bourret. I don't know either, but her IMDb profile said she's been on, well, nothing I've seen. The only tidbit on her that seemed interesting is that she appeared on the British Celebrity Big Brother with former Surreal cast member and current Strange Love star Brigitte Nielsen. Which begs the question, when will America get its own Celebrity Big Brother? She will be playing the token hot chick with no resume (Brande Roderick, Traci Bingham, Marcus Schenkenberg).

Carey Hart is apparently an extreme sports athlete, which would be a new character to the shows roster. It seems they couldn't get a token washed up musician this season.

Janice Dickinson of America's Next Top Model. I don't watch the show so I have no comment about her. Yet. She will be playing the token mother figure (Gabrielle Carteris, Tammy Faye Bakker, Charo, Jane Wiedlin)

Jose Canseco. Now where have I heard his name lately? Mmmm. Jose, of course was last seen hawking his book at a congressional hearing on St. Patrick’s Day. I wonder if still has to wear his house arrest bracelet on the show? I'm hoping that this appearance won't hurt the possibility of a Big Head Barry and the Monsters reality show where Bonds, Canseco, McGwire, etc., hang out in locker rooms and stick unknown substances in the arses. ESPN really need to get on this. Mr. Roid Rage will be playing the token insane person (Corey Feldman, Ron Jeremy, Brigitte Nielsen, Joanie Laurer).

Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth is the wild card of the group as she could also have been the token insane person. Now I didn't watch The Apprentice, but I did see her star turn on Reality All-Star edition of Fear Factor. From that appearance I will not be surprised if she gets bludgeoned with a bat by Cansaco. That might be the only way anyone can top the Mini-Me scene. She will be playing the token reality star (Jerri Manthey, Trishelle Cannatella, Ryan Starr, Adrianne Curry)

Sandy Denton or as I like to call her, Ms. Push It. Sadly, my first impression of her casting was, "Why didn't they get Salt instead?" I don't know what she will be bringing to the cast other than Da Brat's "What am I doing with these crazy white people" look. She will be playing the token rapper (M.C. Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Flavor Flav, Da Brat).

With the spin off love story reality show of past casts, I am putting money on the Jose/token hot model hook up for this cast. I also have money on Janice Dickinson walking of the show first. Overall, barring an Omarosa beat down, this is a poor cast, so looking forward, here are some suggestions for Season 6:

Token washed up actor - The dude not named Paul Reiser on My Two Dads

Token hot chick with no resume - The Playmate of the Year that was arrested for fighting over Jeff Garcia

Token mother figure - Suzanne Somers

Token insane person - The other Corey, Corey Haim

Token reality star - Tonya from Real World et al

Token rapper - Mr. I Wish, Skee-Lo

Token washed up musician - Hootie, which would be the next logical step from the Burger King ad

I Hate Huckabees

I recently got conned into watching two of the worst movies in consecutive weeks. Both were touted as being critically acclaimed yet one didn't have a discernable plot while the other I believe had a plot, I just couldn't follow it.

The movie that went over my head was I (insert lame symbol here) Huckabees. Now I let the critics and friends talk me into this movie against my best judgement as I avoid movies with Marky-Mark like they are chick flicks. Not only did it have the former leader of the Funky Bunch, it also had Jude Law. For those that missed the Oscars, Chris Rock pointed out that if you can't get Tom Cruise and all you can get is Jude Law, wait. Unfortunately for the makers of I (insert lame symbol here) Huckabees, they didn't get this piece of advise before they finished casting.

But even if it had more real actors (i.e. Dustin Hoffman), the main problem of the film is that most of it went over my head. Basically the story follows a tree hugging hippie (the drummer from Phantom Planet) trying to figure out three chance encounters with a Manute Bol looking doorman. So he does what anyone would do, go see existential detectives. Umm, wait, what did I just type? And here in lies the problem, I have a feeling that you need to be a member of MENSA to follow this movie.

Then late in the movie, for a reason that made no to me, the uglied up the token hot chick (who also played the token hot chick in The Ring, and The Ring 2 and, umm, I think that’s it). It made no sense why they did this, like everything else in the movie, and thus ruined the only aspect of the movie I could enjoy.

I (insert lame symbol here) Huckabees gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

The other massively overrated movie I saw recently was Napoleon Dynamite. This was even worse than Mr. Good Vibration's movie. My first problem with the movie is that it has no discernable plot. It was just one lame set-up after another. Secondly, and most importantly, is that it wasn't even funny. There was only one point in the movie when I actually laughed, when Napoleon got picked up by Pedro's cousins. I have a feeling that you need to be an uber-nerd to like this movie.

Napoleon Dynamite gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

In the end, Napoleon Dynamite is the anti-I (insert lame symbol here) Huckabees whereas I (insert lame symbol here) Huckabees was too smart for me, Napoleon Dynamite was just too dumb.