Thou Shall Watch The Ten

Hands down, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry will be the funniest movie of the summer. But from watching the trailer, The Ten could be a close second considering it stars Paul Rudd, Vinnie Van Lowe, the dude from the I Love the (Insert Decade), and Jessica Alba (the trailer does a much better job naming all the stars, well, by better I mean funnier). For those that do not mind a little course language and nudity (unfortunately of the male kind) check out the unrated trailer. For us prudes, below in the more formal version.

Lyrics Quiz: Oh the Places You'll Go

It’s summertime so that means it is time to think about summer vacation and this month’s lyrics quiz is dedicated to some good (and some not so good) recommendations on where you can go this year. As usual, place your guesses in the comment (or you can e-mail me), both artist and song title, and if you are correct I will un-bold the lyric. Now onto the lyrics:


1. I wanna take you: Bermuda, Bahamas. (Kokomo - Beach Boys; guessed by Slaygal1981)
2. I know that I must do what’s right as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti. (Africa - Toto; guessed by Slaygal1981)
3. They said that Queens could stay; they blew the Bronx away, and sank Manhattan out at sea. (Miami 2017 (I've Seen the Lights Go Out on Broadway) - Billy Joel; guessed by Tony)
4. We in that sunshine state where the bomb (expletive deleted) hemp be. The state where you never find a dance floor empty. (California Love - 2Pac and Dr. Dre; guessed by Tony)
5. Oceans of angels, oceans of stars, down by the sea is where you drown your scars. (Malibu - Hole; guessed by Tony)
6. I just wanna see some palm trees. I will try to shake away this disease. (Santa Monica - Everclear; guessed by Tony)
7. Don’t get me wrong, Chi-town got it going on, and New York is the city that we know don't sleep, and we all know that L.A. and Philly stay jiggy. (Miami - Will Smith; guessed by Slaygal1981)
8. Good morning this ain’t Vietnam still people lose hands, legs, arms for real. (Diamonds From Sierra Leone (Remix) - Kanye West; guessed by Tony)
9. You might laugh you might frown walking around Londontown. (LDN - Lily Allen; guessed by Tony)
10. Get out of California, tired of the weather. (Boston - Augustana; guessed by Tony)
11. The king he waited on my doorsteps while the Joker and me went own our way. (Tennessee - The Wreckers; guessed by Tony)
12. I’d be safe in warm if I was in L.A. (California Dreamin' - Mamas and the Papas; guessed by Tony)
13. The Ice Age is coming. The sun’s zooming in. (London Calling - The Clash; guessed by Slaygal1981)
14. No, not the one in south California. They got one in south Patagonia. (Los Angeles - Frank Black; guessed by Tony)
15. Another plane another train another bottle in the brain. (No Sleep 'til Brooklyn - Beastie Boys; guessed by Tony)
16. In Birmingham they love the governor. (Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd; guessed by Tony)
17. A movin’ like Floyd commin’ straight to Florida. Lock all your windows then block the corridors. Pullin’ off on bell ‘cause a whipping’s in order. I like a three piece fish before I cut your daughter. Yo quiero Taco Bell, then I hit the border. (B.O.B. (Bombs Over Bagdad) - Outkast; guest by Tony)
18. Used to take the subway up to Houston and 3rd, I would wait for you and I'd try to hide. (New York, New York - Ryan Adams; guessed by Slaygal1981)
19. I really like Drew Carey and I’d love to see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. (Ohio (Come Back to Texas) - Bowling for Soup; guessed by Slaygal1981)
20. Way down here you need a reason to move, feel a fool running your stateside games. (Mexico - James Taylor; guessed by Slaygal1981)
21. Sunday all the lights of London shining, sky is fading red to blue. (Babylon - David Gray; guessed by Slaygal1981)
22. Look at all those movie stars, they’re all so beautiful and clean. (Beverly Hills - Weezer; guessed by Slaygal1981)
23. Other arms reach out to me, other eyes smile tenderly. Still in the peaceful dreams I see the road leads back to you. (Georgia on My Mind - Ray Charles; guessed by Slaygal1981)
24. Well they blew up the chicken man in Philly last night. (Atlantic City - Bruce Springsteen; guessed by Slaygal1981)
25. All this energy calling me back where it comes from. It’s such a crude attitude, it’s back where it belongs. (Cleveland Rock - The Presidents of the United States of America; guessed by Slaygal1981)


For those that have nothing better to do tonight other than racking your brain trying to figure out these lyrics, tonight is the seasonpremiere of Man vs. Wild on the Discovery Channel at 9:00. Here's a press release (Personally I will be at the local Relay for Life tonight so if I have not updated the quiz with right answers, that is most likely why):

EVERGLADES

This premiere episode finds host Bear Grylls stranded in the swamps of the Florida Everglades, where each year at least 60 tourists need to be rescued. With more than a million alligators, thousands of snakes and even black bears roaming these waterlogged lands, the area has more than its share of hazards. Bear demonstrates how to keep alligators at bay, deal with vicious razor-sharp grass and find stomach-churning food that will keep you alive if you find yourself stranded in this beautiful but dangerous destination.

REAL LIFE STORIES

· After becoming stranded, a young man died of exposure after leaving his uncle in their boat to go in search of help. After slogging through swamps and 12-foot-high sawgrass, the man was found dead just 24 hours later and two miles away from his boat. Disorientation and heat exhaustion is a real problem in the swamps, even for people who live there and know the area intimately.

· A 62-year-old jogger survived for four days, stranded in waist-deep mud after getting lost and falling into a swamp during his daily run. Searchers found him stuck in a bog, covered in insect bites and drinking the fetid water surrounding him.

First Impressions: Rescue Me

There is only one show that can make me flip on the clicker during the summer and luckily Rescue Me made its (almost) triumphant return last night. It has been nine months since we were left wondering if how Tommy was going to make it out of the fire after being drugged by Sheila who accidentally started the blaze and was unable to pull him to safety. And the rest of the crew wasn’t that well off either as the chief had a heart-attack, Franco failed the chief’s exam, Lou’s plan of sailing off into the sunset fell apart when he realized he didn’t have the sea legs, and Shawn was saddled with the vow of honoring Tommy’s sister the rest of his life. And apparently Probie is no longer gar nor a probie.

It apparently has been nine months on the show as Janet already had her baby whose is Tommy’s dead brother. And making it out of the fire seems to be the least of his worries now as the insurance company is on his back assuming the fire was part of fraud scheme thanks to accelerate that was found at the scene. It doesn’t help that his signature showed up on papers to insure the new house from fire and Sheila’s life not too long before the house when down. Add that to Tommy talking care of his newborn nephew, being stalked by the volunteer firefighter that pulled him out of the fire (wait, since when is being stalked by Jennifer Esposito a bad thing?), and everyone around him assuming he is going to jail, it has not been a good nine months for Tommy Gavin.

If there was a complaint about the season four premiere is that it took way to long to get to any action as them spent too much time tying up loose ends from last season. But when the crew finally went out for their first call, it was a doozie as the simple cat run turned into something more quickly. When Mike I thought, “Holy frak, they killed the Probie” and my jaw dropped as each of them dropped one by one only to see that a wall went out too saving their lives. They did a good job setting up storylines for this season besides the insurance fraud with Mike’s family health scare and Franco getting serious. And Mike isn’t the only one that is no longer gay as Colleen has also gone back to guys and has gotten a little too serious with an older man. And it is probably a good bet that the house will bet the black probie who will undoubtedly run into Franco’s girlfriend’s retarded brother.

Verdict: This episode was a little weak for a premiere but Rescue Me is still better than anything else that will air this summer and still better that most show that air in the winter. Rescue Me airs Wednesdays at 10:00 on FX.

Don't Download These Videos vol. XX

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


The Game - Common



Common has always been considered one of the most credible rappers around, well, that was until he started showing up in Gap ads and Joss Stone videos. Nice to see all his cozying up to Madison Avenue and the pop crowd hasn’t corrupted his art as The Game stands up with his best with some help from DJ Premier. And you gotta love the black and white ungrounded performance piece for the video.


Do You Know? (The Ping-Pong Song) - Enrique Iglesias



You can chart the relevance of Enrique Iglesias by the co-stars in his videos. He went from Shannon Elizabeth to Jennifer Love Hewitt to Anna Kornakova to Micha Barton. And now he is just resigned to groping just random video hofessionals. But I have to admit I like the whole ping pong gimmick, but they should have made that more pronounced throughout the whole song.


Spies Like Us - Paul McCartney



During my review of the latest album from Paul McCartney (see: Searching for the Time That Went By so Fast), I mentioned that he hasn’t had a legitimate hit during since leaving Wings. Well Monique apparently took offence to that bringing up the theme to the Dan Aykroyd/Chevy Chase film Spies Like Us. I remember the movie to b a classic, but the song, not so much. So I was off to YouTube to see if there was video to listen to the song to give the song a listen and of course it was there (God bless the internets). And after listening to the song I completely stand by my no legitimate hits statement. After hearing this song, feel free to chime in on this debate and keep in mind, this was McCartney’s second highest charting song since leaving Wings.


(Explitive Deleted)hole - Denis Leary
(Despite labeled the “Censored Version” still not very safe for work)



Another old school video, this time to remind you the only summer series worth watching, no not the Flavor of Love rip-off Rock of Love staring the dude from Poison, but Rescue Me starts tonight at 10:00 on FX. And for those that are taping, be warned, much like last season, this episode is set to go long, going until 11:08. As for the song, is it wrong I still laugh when Denis Leary sings, “Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces” almost fifteen years after I first heard the song?

Best Television Shows of 2006-2007 Redux

It has been one of those days weeks, and it looks like it may turn into one of those months. On a side note, is there anything more annoying than someone saying, "I don't want to get your hopes up but..." If you don't want to get someone's hopes up, then don't especially when you end up not delevering. But anyways. If I were to have any free times these days, they may be spent playing around with this new website I discovered a couple days ago, UnSpun. Basically you make a list and let people vote on it and create their own version and combine them all. I did make one comprised of my list of the Best Shows of 2006-2007. Below is a widget of that list and feel free to vote up or down on the curent list or use the "Add an item to this list fuction to rank your favorite shows and have it instantly be added to this chart (you must have an Amazon ID to make your list though to deture cheating).

Searching for the Time That Went By so Fast

Time has not been kind to Paul McCartney. Once the Beatles, for which Paul was the cute one (or so my mom would have me believe) were referred to as that band McCartney was in before Wings. Not only was he above John Lennon in the pecking order of the band, Lennon was actually third in the post-Beatles work. That was until he was shot to death and all that changed. People began to remember the Beatles again and are to this day widely regarded as the greatest band ever and Lennon is now considered the musical mastermind behind the group. And in the almost thirty since Lennon’s death, McCartney hasn’t had a legitimate hit aside when dueting with other artist such as Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson. What’s worse is now he is mostly known these days as the future ex-husband to a one-legged reality star.

But the lack of hits weren’t because of a lack of trying as he has released eleven albums since leaving Wings. The twelfth being the newly released Memory Almost Full, the first on the new Starbucks Hear Music label after leaving his longtime label EMI. The album comes two years after the critically acclaimed, and publicly ignored, Chaos and Creation in the Backyard. But the man behind that album, Nigel Godrich, best know for producing Radiohead, didn’t return for this go around.

Memory Almost Full starts off with the very spry ditty Dance Tonight that relies heavy on a mandolin and yet still will give you the urge to follow the song’s direction, even if you are listening to it during the day. The rest of the album, despite being listenable, comes off as derivatives of his former self. It’s hard to listen to the dark and haunting Mr. Bellamy and not think of Eleanor Rigby. McCartney is much better when he tries to create something new much with Dance Tonight. Only Mother Knows is a driving rocker that gets the job done (but doesn’t nearly rock as much as Live and Let Die).

Song to Download - Dance Tonight

Memory Almost Full gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.