Big News of the Week: Winners and Losers of Week One: The biggest loser has to be Simon Cowell who’s ego thought he was the reason that tuned into American Karaoke but his new show The X-Factor, which is basically his old show for older people, did not even come close to what his former show did without him last season. The big winner was comedy. After years of people talking about the demise of the sitcom, both Modern Family and The Big Bang Theory beat the heavily hyped X-Factor head to head while the Charlie Sheen-less Two and a Half Men pulled in the most eyeballs this week and helped 2 Broke Girls become the most watched sitcom premiere in a decade (to show you how bad sitcoms have gotten, the last show that premiered that high was Inside Schwartz), while over cable the Charlie Sheen helped his Comedy Central Roast to record breaking ratings. Cancel watch is out for NBC’s The Playboy Club and Free Agents while the surprise hit of the season goes to ABC’s Revenge, but one has to wonder how the rating will be next week when Happy Endings is its lead in instead of Modern Family.
New DVD Release of the Week: Married...With Children - The Complete Series (note that as I write this, the set is listed at $39.99 so if my math is correct, that comes to 15 cents per episode.)
Video of the Week: One of the great “insert name here” song in recently memories is Barbra Streisand and mash-up artists have take the Duck Sauce song and ran with it inserting everyone from Michael Jackson to Gerry Rafferty into the song. Now Luis Guzman has gotten into the action to promote the return of his show How to Make It in America (returning next Sunday at 10:30) complete with its own video with many see if you can spot them cameos. HBO has also released a mixtape in celeb ration of the new season which you can stream or download on the show’s Facebook page featuring artists like Little Dragon, the Joy Formidable and more.
Next Week Pick of the Week: Pan Am, Sunday at 10:00: Watching the first episode of Pan Am made me wonder air travel has actually gotten worse over the past forty years. If an airplane experience was more like it is depicted on Pan Am than it was today, maybe I would not have a B.A. Baracus affliction to flying. But anyway. You can check out my preview of Pan Am here.
I have never actually tuned into The Voice because, even with the weirdly awesome selection processes, it still seemed to fall into the same dilemma that faces American Karaoke: mediocre singers singing crappy songs. But since NBC sends me e-mails ad-nauseam about the show I cherry pick some performances that catch my eye and there were really only three singers that caught my ear in the blind: Nakia, Xenia, and Dia Frampton (for those keeping track at home, that is one singer more in one season of The Voice than American Karaoke has produced in its ten seasons worth listening to).
But back to things that caught my eye in the e-mails, nothing piqued my interest like seeing that a chick was singing a Kanye West song. Dia had this breezy feel with unique phrasing during the blind auditions and battle round (well before her partner came in and made it a trainwreck) but I was not prepared when I clicked on the link to see her first live performance. Where all of the singers on the show are doing bland karaoke covers, Dia went all Jimi Hendrix on the Kanye track and took a decent song and perfected it (yes better than The Fray’s version and vastly superior than the unlistenable version that was on American Karaoke a couple seasons ago that I could only make it thirty second in befor sutting it off).
A big assist to Blake Shelton (who would have guessed before the show he would end up with the best team?) who suggested that Dia take a seat at the piano. I am sure her standing in front of a mic would have been good and all, but the piano took it to iconic status from the shoulder shimmy at the :30 mark to when she released of that channeled nervous energy from 1:22 to 1:45 when she takes her fingers off the keys. In two minutes she went from the shy one on the show to the gold standard for any singing competition.
The only complaint I can make is how do you cover Heartless and cut out the Dr. Evil verse? That would be singing Panama but skipping the park when you reach down in-between your legs… and pulling the seat back. Luckily it was returned for the studio version, but the studio version is not nearly as great as the live one. I am excited to see what she does next (assuming she makes it to the next round, but considering she was one of only two singers this week to crack the Top 200 iTunes music charts this week, she should be safe, although the other singer to chart was teammate Xenia; they should just ex Christina’s entire team to make sure Dia and Xenia advance). I may have to start to tune in live if only for the drinking game of taking a shot whenever a coach speaking in hyperbole which could get drunker than my Deadwood drinking game of taking a shot whenever Al Swearegen’s favorite word is spoken.
As much that has been made about her Heartless performance, and truly deserved praise, Dia’s contribution during the Team Blake ode to Adam Lavine has gotten lost in the clamor. It was actually the first time on the show where she actually looked like she was having fun and even managed an applause when she walked on stage that rivaled her coach Blake Shelton when he descended down the steps. Even Xenia looked more comfortable than during her solo performance (which points to a poor song selection in Jesse J). Though I found it interested that MTV heavily censored This Love, but NBC let all the not so subtle innuendo flow during the song (and after, how cute was that Xenia clearly had no clue what “That’s what she said” means).
While much better than American Karaoke, drinking games aside I am still not sold in actually watching The Voice live, but here are some suggestions that could get me to tune in later.
1. More Professionals: There have been a lot of complaining how many of the contestants on The Voice have already had record contract; seven of the remaining singers by my count seven, almost half of the finale sixteen, have released albums. I say to those who make that complaint: screw you hippies. One of my many reasons why I have never watched American Karaoke is that I believe if you have talent, you would not need a reality show to score a record contract, and considering American Karaoke and its strict no professionals rule is currently batting two for nine, I seem to be right. And though talent may land you a record deal, it does not always equate into stardom, you still need the right marketing. So having a show with season veterans like Dia or Javier Colon who never manage to get that breakout hit, The Voice can be that great marketing tool to get their music to the masses and makes for a better show.
2. Rotate the Coaches: I know the second season has already announced and all for coaches will be back and sure Blake is surprisingly funny and Cee-Lo is unsurprisingly creepy, but it would keep the show fresher if you bring in newer coaches for a new perspective and other musical styles. That is not to say retire the coaches entirely, the show can bring them back periodically, just not back to back seasons. I really hate to think that a Gnarls Barkley would be pushed back because Cee-Lo is too busy with The Voice.
3. Longer Songs – Like mentioned above, how can you sing Heartless without including the Dr. Evil verse? It got cut because all the performances have to come in the two minute range. I understand keeping songs short during the blind audition, if you cannot wow a coach in two minutes, you probably never will, but they kept it to two minutes for the Battle Rounds (for non math majors that is just one minute per singer). Certainly they could trim from the human interest segment before the performance or the coach’s comments, speaking of which:
4. Stop it With Hyperbole: Cee-Lo called Dia’s performance, “probably the greatest rendition of a song I ever heard.” It was a great performance but seriously Cee-Lo, better than Jimi Hendrix’s version of Dylan’s All Along the Watchtower or Johnny Cash’s take on Nine Inch Nails’ Hurt? The hyperbole has gotten so out of control, I want to institute Blake’s buzzer for Xenia for whenever the coaches go over the top. And how about being critical when it is warranted? I do not want anyone to turn into Simon Cowell, who has no credentials to judge a singing competitions, the guy is just an insult comic to the point that dude might as well have Robert Smigel’s hand up his butt, but if you do not give the artists constructive criticism, they are not going to improve. And this is a competition, I want more bad blood between the coaches, right now it is just Christina vs. the boys, I want some teeth to come out even if it is just good natured.
5. Better Backing Band: At times the band house band sounds like they are recording Muzak (or dare I say the music for karaoke bars). I am not sure if it is the same musicians for every singer and that is wearing them thin, but the house band is not doing the singers much favors. Maybe more musicians to ease the burden, or maybe since many of the contestants are already in bands, let them play with them. And I know this probably would not come to fruition, but how about bringing in Cee-Lo’s buddy Danger Mouse in as musical director.
Before I get into my favorite songs of the year, let’s look at some the songs that made up your soundtrack to 2010. If you didn’t send in your list year, hopefully next year you do so and you can see more of your favorite next year. Also congratulations are in order to Uchenna who won an iTunes gift card just contributing to this list. I should have that sent out to you by the end of the day.
For better or worse 2009 was the year of Lady Gaga. Okay it is mostly the later because she is everything wrong with music today promoting style over substance. Lady Gaga is just Marilyn Manson with a sunnier disposition and much more hype (and a lot of hype it was, keep in mind even though people consider Lady Gaga the artist of 2009, Susan Boyle sold more albums in one month then Lady Gaga did in over a year). But with all the horrible music she put out this year, 2009 was so abundant of ear-splitting music, she only managed two of worst forty twice and couldn’t even crack the top ten. Here are the thirty-eight other songs besides the white noise Lady Gaga dispensed songs from the past twelve months that I would live a better life if I never hear again.
The Sing-Off: Let me start off with a little admission, I routinely spend hours at a time scouring YouTube watching acapella groups. So despite my hatred for the national karaoke contest on Fox, The Sing-Off has been thoroughly entertaining. Whereas the other singing show features mediocre singers singing bland karaoke tunes, the contestants of The Sing-Off create unique renditions of familiar songs, something that is serious missing from that other karaoke contest. Bonus points for having Ben Folds and one half of Boyz II Men as judges (but negative bonus points for one of The Pussycat Dolls). Here is my favorite performance to date.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Sing-Off on iTunes. Head over NBC.com to vote for the final three.
How I Met Your Mother: I pretty much had the same reaction as the kids when learning they all were smoking. That episode was really just uncalled for. At least we didn’t get one of those annoying anti-smoking ads they put with any movie where characters are smoking. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.
The Big Bang Theory: Sheldon finally gets some. I always thought it would be a drunken Penny that would lay one on him, but Leonard’s mom was definitely a funnier choise. Too bad Leonard wasn’t there to see it. You can download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.
Survivor: Samoa: As the season keeps going, it gets more depressing that none of these people are smart enough to vote Russell out. And who is this kid that keeping winning the immunity necklace? Has he really been here all season? And I know I have complained about this before on how the woman look hotter without taking a bath for a month then they do on the jury, but Monica was the breaking point and now I am advocating the firing of the makeup lady on the show. She went from looking hot to a hooker, or even worse, a Tiger Woods mistress. This really needs to stop. Don’t go from no make up to caking on all that you can find. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.
Free Download of the Week: Eight Days of Hanukkah - Orrin Hatch (Amazon MP3); yes that is Republican, Mormon Utah Senator Orin Hatch attached to an ode to the Jewish holiday and not some SNL parody. Thankfully Hatch doesn’t actually sing on the track. For all the liberal communist who refuse to download music from a conservative nut job, but still want some holiday cheer, I suggest heading over to iTunes where you can grab Must Be Santa by Bob Dylan for free.
Deal of the Week: I posted these deals last week and they are still going on, so if you were thinking about them then, this may be the last chance to grab these DVD’s at these prices.
Video of the Week: For those that need their holiday cheer in moving pictures, Hulu is currently show a bunch of ABC Family originals including Holiday in Handcuffs, Snow, Snowglobe, and Snow 2 below. For all the Scrooges out there that would rather watch some sci-fi fare, The extended Caprica pilot is also currently on Hulu.
Next Week Pick of the Week: The Closer, Monday at 9:00 on TNT: This week, Brenda is stuck on a case she really doesn’t want that manages plenty of twist and turns you most likely won’t see coming.
About a year ago a pair of songs caught my eye by their title alone. It turned out that I Kissed a Girl and How I Could Kill a Man were not actual cover songs (see Toss Up: Katy Perry vs. Charlotte Sometimes). The same thing happened this week while checking out the new albums that were being released yesterday. This time around the two songs in question indeed turned to be actual cover tunes taking feminine take of guy’s guys’ tunes. First off is someone who is no stranger to karaoking other people tune, Brooke White who takes on the Kings of Leon’s Use Somebody. What, did you expect the Mormon to do Sex on Fire instead? Take a listen:
Here is how not to do a cover. It sound like Brooke couldn’t decide if she wanted to do a straight up version or change it up, so we get this pseudo-countrified version. What’s worse is the best part of the original, the soaring whoa’s that haunt the chorus, on the new verson just lake the passion of the orginal. With that said, it seems like Use Somebody is this year’s Crazy in that even a bad version is still pretty listenable. But if you want to hear how you do a great cover tune, check out Santeria by Aimee Allen:
Instead of doing the safe slowed down ska of the Sublime original, Allen completely flips it and picks up a ukulele and turns the song into a beach campfire tune. It turns out so sweet it doesn’t raise an eyebrow to hear her singing about heinas and popping caps. In a battle of the covers, we have an easy winner
I may have a full review of Allen’s album A Little Happiness next week, until then, head over to Amazon MP3 where you can pick up a free copy of her song On Vacation or check out her full album or White’s High Hopes and Heartbreaks:
Listening to All I Ever Wanted I feel I may have been a little to harsh when reviewing Kelly Clarkson’s last disk My December (see: You're Going Crazy, Running on Empty). My big complaint was that she tried to do too much herself, even if she had no ability to create a memorable melody, almost defiantly resulting in a bland cumbersome album. But on her new disk, the best tracks are actually the one with her hands on it.
The album starts off with handing the reigns over to other writers an d producers almost saying, if you want another Since U Been Gone, here you go” with first single My Life Would Suck Without You even opening up with the exact same guitar riff. Sadly the truly excellent riff from Gone, the ripped off one from The Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ Maps, is nowhere to be found. But in the end the song doesn’t even sound like Clarkson, instead sounds like Katy Perry trying to imitate her.
Perry actually shows up twice co-writing two of the weakest tracks on the album I Do Not Hook Up (co-written by Kara DioGuardi) and Long Shot (co-written with Glen Ballard). Both songs are dumbed down and riddled with over reaching clichés, pretty much your token Katy Perry song. And Since U Been Gone isn’t the only song that gets recreated as Don’t Let Me Stop You starts up with the same noted as Behind These Hazel Eyes.
Things don’t get much listenable until the Clarkson written Already Gone. But keep in mind the song was co-written and produced by the dude from One Republic, so it is about as adventurous as your typical Musak track. Actually, Save You sounds like Stop and Stare in the beginning and features the “I wish we were Coldplay” riffs in it too. Two of the songs Kelly didn’t write with Ryan Tedder are a bit poppier, and better. In fact I Want You may be the best late nineties teen pop songs never written and even harkens back to the girl groups of the sixties.
The album ends on a high note with the Keri Noble scribed If No One Will Listen which Clarkson could have written herself after the debacle surrounding her last record. And is a much better balled than the overdramatic and over dramatic Cry which will probably polluting the airwaves for the year and a half. But it will be If No One Will Listen that American Karaokers will be butchering for years to come.
- Wilco
(note that as I write this, the set is listed at $39.99 so if my math is correct, that comes to 15 cents per episode.)
drinking game of taking a shot whenever Al Swearegen’s favorite word is spoken.
- Orrin Hatch (Amazon MP3); yes that is Republican, Mormon Utah Senator Orin Hatch attached to an ode to the Jewish holiday and not some SNL parody. Thankfully Hatch doesn’t actually sing on the track. For all the liberal communist who refuse to download music from a conservative nut job, but still want some holiday cheer, I suggest heading over to iTunes where you can grab 
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