Previewing Snake Salvation

Really my only complaint about this past season of Justified was they killed off the serpent preacher way too early in the season. For those that do not watch that show, fire off, um, spoiler alert on the preacher dying, second, start watching, it is constantly the best show on television. Spoiling the fourth season a little more, the reason he died was that his sister, unbeknownst to him, drained his serpents of their venom, and when someone brought a non-drained snake to church, the preacher handled it, was bit, and died.

His death was disappointing because I thought the snake preacher would make a good foil for Boyd Crowder. If you also wanted to see more serpent preachers, you are in luck because there is now an entire show dedicated to the profession: Snake Salvation, premiering tonight on the National Geographic Channel. It should be noted these people are morons. Really anyone who takes the Bible as a literal guidebook is a moron. The Bible is just one long parable on how to live your life, which boils down to be good to others. But these morons actually say that because Jesus said “Thou shall take up serpents,” handling snakes is just as important as the Ten Commandments. Seriously people, “Thou shall take up serpents” did not make the stone tablets for a reason, it is not important. Here is the exact quote:

“And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.” (Mark 16:17–18)

What is worse, not only do these people handle venomous snakes; they also refuse to seek medical attention if bitten claiming if they die, it is God’s will. And it is clear that they do not have a sister draining the snakes of their venom because one of the pastors lost a finger, quite gruesomely, as it literally fell off (and be warned there are graphic pictures). The pastors even take about one of their brethren who died from a bite. And then years later, his son succumbed to the fate. Hopefully the grandson, if there is one, learned from his kin’s mistake and become a school teacher, or anything that does not involve snakes.

Forget Hannibal or The Walking Dead, Snake Salvation is the scariest show on television because these people are the real deal. Thankfully we are only down to about a hundred snake handling churches in the country, and such practices, as well as snake hunting, are outlawed in Tennessee where these preachers live (hopefully the authorities pay them a visit after the show airs). But as crazy as these people are, it is hard to turn your eyes away.

Snake Salvation airs Tuesdays at 9:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

Best of the Week - 10/14/11

Quote of the Week: This is the third Teenage Dream in forty-five minutes; why don’t I just close my nuts in the cashier’s door? (Garrett Morris – 2 Broke Girls)

Song of the Week: Torn – Natalie Imbruglia (as sung by Penny and her mom, Happy Endings)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Hank Williams Jr. Is a Moron and So Is Anyone Who Tries to Despiser His Ramblings: Last week Fox and Friends had country singer Hank Williams, Jr. to talk politics because apparently Dick Cheney was unavailable. Like most people in America, Hank is fed up with our political parties and said about Obama’s golf game with Speaker of the House Boehner was, “Come on! It would be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu!” Naturally this made the talking head head’s explode thinking he compared Obama and Hitler. But really, trying to make sense of what Williams was trying to say only makes you dumber than he is. And to say Williams compared Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler would be like saying he compared John Boehner to Benjamin Netanyahu, which no one is saying but is just as absurd. Now if you excuse, I am going to go watch Fox and Friends because they are going to interview the dude from Wham not named George Michael about the Occupy Wall Street movement.

Free Download of the Week: Ole´ – Pearl Jam (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Up to 55% Off Hit Movies and TV on Blu-ray (Earnest Scared Straight, Ghostbusters, Dawn of the Dead)

New Album Release of the Week: Beyond the Sun (2CD) - Chris Isaak

New DVD Release of the Week: Beats, Rhymes & Life: The Travels of a Tribe Called Quest

Video of the Week: Showtime has released a new teaser for their upcoming show House of Lies and just like the last one that featured AC/DC’s Big Balls, the new one is also balls-centric.

Newton’s Cradle (ouse of Lies Spot)


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Walking Dead, Sunday at 9:00 on AMC: The first season of The Walking Dead is one of those shows that you think it is better than it really is (a staple for AMC). Sure the first season was epic with great characterizations, zombie makeup, and you really felt the sparseness and isolation of the post apocalyptic world. But looking back at the first season, it is hard not to think that the six episodes could have been crammed into just two. There are big reservations going into the second season after creator and showrunner Frank Darabont got unceremoniously canned by the network after the first episode in the new season. But for those that cannot get enough of the show, right after it airs, there will be a new series Talking Dead, a live after-show where Chris Hardwick (you know, the one from Singled Out not named Jenny McCarthy) discussing the episode with fans, actors, and producers (presumably Darabont will not be making an appearance) because why wouldn’t a serious drama steal an idea from MTV? But anyway. For more on the second season, check out the video below where Attack of the Show’s Grace Helbig visits the set of the show.

Game Reviews - E3 2012 - Movies and TV

The Twenty-Five Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever

To show you just how shocked that Ozzy and Coach were the ones brought back for this season of Survivor, after the show announced they were bringing back Redemption Island I was so convinced that the show would bring back Matt from last season (and probably Andrea with him as the two people that returned from Redemption Island) that I started working on a list of the Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever because Matt trying to rejoin the tribe who already booted him was one of the dumbest moves ever. Instead of going with obvious selections, apparently Jeff Probst randomly pulled two names out of his hat to come up with Ozzy and Coach. Luckily neither of them are the smartest tools on the beach so here are a list of the Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever:



1. Erik Reichenbach (Fans vs. Favorites) - Giving up immunity his Immunity Necklace to Natalie; promptly gets voted out (please note Erik is like the Johnny Vander Meer of Survivor, this is a record that will never be broken. To do so, one would have to get voted out with an Immunity Idol in their pocket, go to Redemption Island, come back into the game and proceed to give someone the Immunity Necklace and promptly get voted out to move Erik from number one on this list).

2. Tyson Apostol (Heroes vs. Villains) - Flipping votes for absolutely no reason and prompltly getting voted out because of switching votes.

3. James Clement (China) - Getting voted out with two immunity Idols in his pocket.

4. JT Thomas (Heroes vs. Villains) – It is hard to put some who has won on this list, but dude gave his Immunity Idol to Russell which was then used to vote him out.

5. Matt Elod (Redemption Island) – Going back to his former Ometepe after returning from Redemption Islandonly to promptly getting sent right back there by them.

6. Jason Siska (Fans vs. Favorites) - Thinking a piece of driftwood was an Immunity Idol, convincing that Eliza that she should play the driftwood, then getting voted out with a real Idol in his pocket.

7. Lex Van den Burghe (All-Stars) - Saving Amber because Boston Rob asked him to, then gets voted out by Rob because he lost the numbers by keeping Amber.

8. Colbie Donaldson (The Australian Outback) – Not choosing the easy win over Keith, instead loses to Tina in the Final Tribal Council.

9. Ometepe Tribe (Redemption Island) - Letting Boston Rob win by putting up no effort, instead playing for second place.

10. Russell Hantz (Heroes vs. Villains) - Playing a type a game that guarantees he would never win enough votes at the Final Tribal Council.

11. Yau Man / Andria "Dreamz" Herd (Fiji) Yau Man stupidly gave Dreamz a truck if he promised to give him the Immunity Necklace if he won it. Dreamz reneged and was rewarded with zero votes at the Final Tribal Council.

12. Ian Rosenberger (Palau) - Quit the final three immunity challenge (after parcicipating for twelve hours) then asked to be voted out.

13. Jonathan Penner (Race Wars) – Mutinying, then getting voted out by his new tribe.

14. Saboga Tribe (All-Stars) - Building their shelter by digging a hole in the sand.


15. Amanda Kimmel (Heroes vs. Villains) - Giving Danielle the Hidden Immunity Idol clue back (not to mention her poor performance in her two final Tribal Councils).

16. Zapatera Tribe (Redemption Island) - Throwing a challenge to get rid of Russell, then going on to lose three of the next four challenges going into a merge where they were outnumbered.

17. Randy Bailey (Ghana) / Jamie Dugan (China) - Playing fake Hidden Immunity Idols.

18. Burton Roberts (Pearl Islands) - Throwing a challenge then promptly gets voted off.

19. Marty Piombo (Nicaragua) - Giving Sash his Hidden Immunity Idol.

20. Sean Kenniff (Borneo) – Using an Alphabetical voting system which his competitors used against him.

21. Clay Jordan (Thailand) - Berating jury members at his Final Tribal Council, a vote he could have won.

22. Brendan Synnott (Tocantins) - Announcing he has an immunity idol, does not play it, gets voted out.

23. Jolanda Jones (Palau) - Picking the only tribe to never win an Immunity Challenge and being first voted out by her tribe.

24. Rafe Judkins (Guatemala) - Releasing Danni from their promise of taking each other to the Final Tribal Council, gets voted out by her.

25. Lillian Morris (Pearl Island) – Choosing to take Sandra to the Final Tribal Council over the despicable Johnny Fairplay.

Survivor: South Pacific premieres tonight at 8:00 on CBS with an expanded ninety minute episode. As for a preseason pick, I’ll go with Sophia Clarke but will be rooting for Rick Nelson, father of the twins in Nelson, because he has gown the most awesome mustache since coming back to life.

Your New Most Inept Executive In America Is...

This hasn’t been a good year for inept executives, Isaiah Thomas and Matt Millen were both axed and George Bush is down to his last month in office. With the three worst executives in America all gone, there is a scrabble to claim the top spot. Their have been plenty of contenders like the big three auto execs taking private jets to ask for millions of taxpayer dollars and the Illinois governor trying to profit from naming Barack Obama’s replacement in the Senate. But the clear choice for the next generation of inept executive top moron clearly goes to Ben Silverman, head of NBC’s entertainment division, with his recent announcement that 10:00 on the Peacock network would be a Jay Leno only time zone.

One horrible decision doesn’t shoot you to the top of the inept list and Silverman has yet to draft three straight receivers, but he has steadily sunk NBC so far down, it will soon rival The CW. You knew he was destine for most inept executive title with his very first move at the head of NBC when he brought The Apprentice back to life and added D-List celebrities to the mix because lack of no name star power was everyone decided to stop watching in the first place.

And that was just the tip of the iceberg as Silverman was also the guy who thought not making pilots wouldn’t hurt new shows which has led to My Own Worst Enemy (already canceled), Crusoe (all but canceled) and Kath & Kim (should be canceled). But then again pilots even when he sees them, like the backdoor pilot of the Knight Rider movie, which was universally panned by critics and viewers alike, still get ordered to series (and then has the episode number cut). And this was after the reinvention of Bionic Woman tanked a year early. Not to mention American Gladiators which lost it’s nostalgia after two episodes. Should we expect The New A-Team on the 2009 schedule? Or should I not give him an idea?

Other brainchildren from Silverman were to cancel Journeyman but brought back Lipstick Jungle for a second season (only to give it the ax a couple weeks in), thinking Heroes was NBC’s own Lost only to find it getting doubled in the ratings by Two and a Half Men, and maybe his most egregious move: thinking Jimmy Fallon was funny enough to give his own talk show. Let us not forget this is also the guy that brought us Clash of the Choirs, My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad, Celebrity Family Feud, The Baby Borrowers, Celebrity Circus, Phenomenon and brought Quaterlife from the computer monitor to the television screen. As well as the upcoming Momma’s Boy a dating show where a mom has a hand in which person their child dates. Wait, did he still that idea from I Love New York?

And not only is Silverman a complete moron, the Jay Leno move shows that he is also lazy giving him five less hours of television to fill each week. Keep in mind NBC already has one whole night already blocked out for programming thanks to Sunday Night Football. Of course this is a guy who thought it was time to take vacation to the Beijing Olympics just before the new season launched. This begs the question, with the Jay Leno 10:00 hour taken up, how long until Silverman announces that 9:00 is a Law and Order only hour? Or should I not give him an idea?

Naturally the Leno deal is a bad idea to end all bad ideas. Early talk shows have failed time after time and as seen by Rosie’s recent variety debacle, people don’t want that kind of stuff in prime time. And if Leno happens to be successful, and even if he isn’t, it will undermine the three other talk shows on NBC, which will be more than the other networks combined. Who will get the top names when the switch accuser, Leno or Conan? This may make the Leno/Letterman spat look cordial. Seriously, the NBC corporate has to be the most entertaining event ever.

Of course NBC is getting what it deserves. This is what is going to happen when you hire someone who’s “hits” only include stealing already successful shows from countries like The Office, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and Ugly Betty. I would think that the five less hours would likely spell the death nail for Friday Night Lights (keep in mind his second order of business was to stop airing FNL reruns that summer) but with Silverman’s laziness he most likely won’t cancel it as long as DirecTV still foots half the bill.

So congratulations Ben Silverman, you are a first ballot Moron Hall of Fame. If you are lucky Ken Lay will induct you. And if we are lucky you will be eligible for the Class of 2014.

Pay Off Your Debts You Morons

It is never a good sign opening up an article entitled, Senate Sends Big Spending Bill to Bush with a picture of these goons attached. For those that cannot pick out their Congressmen in a line out, that is from left Ted Stevens, John Barrasso, Larry Craig, and Sheldon Whitehouse. What, was Mark Foley on the next elevator? And no, the bill had nothing to due with the much ballyhooed bailout package that has been talked about for the last week. Nope this is a separate bill that gives $25,000,000,000 of taxpayer money. Also included was a record setting 70,000,000,000 to the Pentagon while the Defense Department (um, isn’t the Pentagon defense?) got a six percent increase to 488,000,000,000. Gotta pay for those wars. And despite all the talk on earmarks on Friday, the bill also contained 2,322 pet projects costing taxpayers $4,900,000,000. The article also had this to say,

“Democrats also wanted to avoid an election-year clash with Bush that would have played in his favor. They are willing to take their chances that Democrat Barrack Abeam will be elected president in November and permit increases for scores of programs squeezed by Bush each year.”

And yes I copied and pasted that, the typo isn’t mine.

But I want to go on the record that I am completely against the bailout plan for Wall Street. You know, the one that was quickly thrown together by George Bush (who has been sporting an “Is it January yet” face all week) and the Senate Democrats. You know when those two entities agree on anything it cannot end well on principal alone. It was interesting that when John McCain called out Barrack Abeam for being the most liberal person Obama shot back that he was just voting against Bush’s boneheaded ideas yet he was quick to get on board with Bush on the most important legislation of his tenure in the Senate.

To get off track for a second, what is with this “call me if you need me crap”? Say what you want about John McCain but at least he showed up to do his job that he was elected to do. The people of Illinois, Arizona and Delaware did not elect these guys to run for president. Why is Congress the only place in America where if you do not show up for work not only do you not get fired but you may get a promotion for skipping. Congressmen have successfully cut their work week down to three days while taking six week vacations after every four weeks of work.

If you are running for president and are still collecting $169,300 of our tax payer money per year, you better show up for work. Which of course none of them actually do. In my life time only Bob Dole had the common courtesy to actually resign from the Senate to run. Speaking of Senators McCain and Obama doing what they are paid to do, both in the past days said they had previously warned on the floor of Congress of the impending economic crisis. Well you are both legislator, if saw this coming why didn’t you write any legislation to stop this from happening instead of grandstanding in front of Congress. Well I guess we know why Obama wasn’t willing to write legislation to regulate Freddie, Fannie and AGI because he was number two in donation received from both. Then you have Chris Dodd number one and he is the Finance Committee Chair who just happens to be the lead Senate Democrat in trying to rush bailing out those that were so generous to him.

But back to this horrendously stupid bailout plan. Having Bush and the Dems actually agreeing as a sign of a horrible things to come, I am against it because it benefit two types of people: the greedy and the stupid. The greedy is obvious, these fat cats gambling with your savings in hopes to buy a third yacht. But one group of people you don’t hear about is the stupid because the Congress doesn’t want to put blame the people that will be voting in about a month.

To clarify the stupid, these are the people that kept on accumulating debt (college loans, mortgage, car payments, credit cards) but instead of paying those off debts you thought that buying an HDTV, sound system and a Playstation 3 would be a better investment than paying off stuff you already owe. And because you all just had to have a bigger house than you could I am stuck with a $24,000 bill which is how much each American will have to pay when you divie up the 700,000,000,000 bail out figure tossed around, even though I paid off my student loans ahead of time, on the path to doing the same for the mortgage I’m paying, pay off my credit card in their entirety all the while being what the government likes to label as poor.

Seriously people, it is not hard to create a budget. The next (or first) time you buy a house take you current income, subtract all you monthly debt you may have (loans, credit card minimums), factor in monthly expenses like grocery and if the number is bigger than the suggest monthly mortgage payment then go ahead and buy. If not, keep house hunting for something more in your price range, and if that number turns out to be less than zero, it may be time to cancel your Netflick subscription and get out of the red (I know someone whose phone number changes every other month because she cannot pay the bill yet has yet to cancel her Netflick, so I know very well just how stupid people are when they come to their finances).

Keeping a budget is simple third grade math people, it isn’t hard. Or maybe this is why a show called Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader is so popular. I do understand that some people were unable to keep up with their mortgages for various reasons and they do deserve help, but a majority of that 700,000,000,000 is just people who feel they should live in houses bigger than they can actually afford.

What is really scary is the people behind the bailout plan are keep on trying to sell their plan by saying that the American taxpayers can actually make money on all the bad mortgages over time. Are these people serious? This would be like losing your life savings at the blackjack table, having your parents bailing you out only to go to the roulette table and telling your parents they may get they money back with interest This bailout cannot happen and certainly cannot be handled by the likes of George Bush and Chris Dodd.

And just when you think it couldn’t get worse for Americans last week, on Thursday Fred Durst announce that he was getting Limp Bizkit back together. God help us all.

Cleaning Out My Inbox vol. VII

A plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Dirty Sexy Money, Raising the Bar, TV Guide, Dancing with the Stars, ION, Crash, Oprah, and Keith Olbermann.

- For those that watch Dirty Sexy Money you will want to check out Tripp Darling’s latest venture into luxury real estate, Darling Tower.

- I do not think I read a review of Raising the Bar that did not focus on the mane of Zack Morris, myself included. It looks like TNT took notice and created an interactive game that lets you change his hair-style to your heart's content. Head over to TNT.com to play.

- For those gearing up for the new fall season, head over to TV Guide.com for extensive coverage of over 113 new and returning shows, with recaps, previews, and editors’ picks as well as original videos, unique photo galleries, and four detailed ways for fans to plan their TV watching schedules.

- While at TV Guide you can find exclusive videos including Dancing with the Stars Olympian Misty May Treanor.

- The Bill Engvall Show was surpisingly entertaining and fans should be happy to learn that it has been renewed for a third season. And be on the lookout for two special episodes of the show this December just in time for the holidays.

- For those that have the ION channel, it should be noted that their new season starts up with featuring favorites Boston Legal, ER, and NCIS.








- Crash, which I called the worst movie ever in the history of the world is for some reason being turned into a television show for Starz. Here is a widget for the show that premieres Friday, October 17, 2008 at 10 p.m.



- This Friday, Tatum O'Neil gives her first interview since her drug bust with Oprah. You will hear Tatum admit, “There’s no good way to talk about what happened to me.” She adds, “I felt hopeless” and tells Oprah, “I was certainly trying to relapse.” While on Thursday the Big O goes into Why Men Cheat with author Gary Neuman. A preview: because she will do things you will not.

- A couple days ago I chided the media for spending two days debating whether or not they were bias and the unprofessionalism over at MSNBC during the conventions. Apparently someone over at the network read that post and demoted Keith Olbermann a couple days later and I added a couple thoughts about it on the bottom of the post. Check out Morons, You are the Press.

Morons, You Are the Press

Over Labor Day hanging out with family, after talking about all the Olympics I watched over the two weeks, someone asked what I was doing to fill that void and really the Democratic and Republican Convention in back to back weeks to fill my around the clock coverage fix because politics are like sports to me to the point that on election nights I pick up a twelve pack, park on the couch and watch the results come in.

Of course when I say I watched the convention, I only watch talking heads talk about everything and nothing at all talking over basically anyone who hadn’t previous run for president before. I want to hear Bob Casey instead I am stuck listening to some nut job analyzing Hillary Clinton’s body language. I ended up watching most of the RNC on C-Span just so I could watch it unfiltered.

Maybe it was all the long hours, but there is issue after issue of the press being unprofessional, and there was no one more unprofessional than Keith Olbermann who sounded like Gus Johnson during March Madness after Barack Obama’s speech, even admonishing an Associated Press writer, not for being factorially incorrect, but for not calling the speech a symphony instead calling it bland and just the same speech every Democratic nominee has given.

On the other hand the only thing missing from his commentary the next week was the Debbie Downer soundtrack. After everyone was glowing over Sarah Palin’s speech, all Keith had to say was that Abraham Lincoln didn’t created the Republican Party (cue the Debbie Downer look). Hey moron, you open any high school history book and it will tell you that he was the first Republican, and you are just nick picking with that. Of course there is probably a reason Olbermann was stuck by himself in New York, because while in Denver both Chris Matthews and Joe Scarborough publicly mocked Keith on air at different times (which isn’t the first time, Scarborough once said Olbermann was “too stupid to be on TV” live on air).

Then Olbermann had the audacity to rip into the Republicans for showing a tribute to 9/11. This would have been like Bill O’Reilly saying that the Democrats were exploiting Martin Luther King Jr. For showing a tribute to him at the DNC. What’s worse is that this came a week after Keith laughed when Michael Moore said on his show that God must be a Democrat because Gustav was starring down on New Orleans days before their convention. So let me get this straight Keith, honoring the brave men and woman who lost their lives during one of the worst attack in American near its anniversary: tacky, implying that God is going to kill Americans to disrupt the RNC two year after one destroyed the same city: funny.

With that said, it is safe to assume I agree with the McCain campaign that the press has been unfair covering Sarah Palin. Case in point, they spent two days debating whether or not they were in fact bias and unfair. Naturally O’Reilly and Sean Hannity came to the conclusions that they were unfair. Morons, you are the press. But the press isn’t complete in the Obama camp as the McCain campaign would have you believe. I missed the first half of Obama’s speech because of the Brown’s preseason game, but NBC cut into the end of the NFL opening game to carry McCain’s speech. Granted preseason was most like an affiliate decision while the next week was the network’s.

There in lies the problem with modern journalism, there are more concerned with making the press than reporting the press which led to debating if they were or were not unfair. Not to the press, if you are talking about the press, you have failed. And these people are just plain lazy. All these shows do anymore is left some right wing nut job and liberal communist spout their talking points on a subject while us in the middle just sit there scratching are heads wondering what the real truth.

Anyone who is listed as a “Republican or Democratic strategist” should be banned from television. Or at the very least call them out when they do just go down their lists of talking point. Seriously, aren’t these guys tired of hearing Joe Trippi saying McCain voted with Bush 90% of the time five times per appearance. And since when does being 0-5 in presidential campaigns makes you a worthy commentator. Just once I would like some respond to that by asking either, “what time frame does that 90% include” or “name one piece of legislation that he sided with Bush” because lets be real, there are a lot of worthless bills Congress votes on like changing French Fries to Freedom Fries. Of course this is why Bush manages to have an approval rating three times that of Congress.

That is when host even invite, Olbermann, hasn’t had anyone on his tow in over two years that disagrees with him, is the second most partisan on television (Glen Beck would be the first). And when legitimate newsmen like Howard Fineman corrects Keith on his lies, Keith is right back to saying the same things the next segment. Yeah Bill O’Rielly is a humongous tool, but at least he invites people with different opinions than his on the show. Granted think he may just do this for the sole reason he has someone to yell at.

But I should applaud Chris Matthews for calling someone out on the crap. Rachel Maddow tried to repeat one of the many lies about Sarah Palin live on air when Matthews actually called her out on it asking her what her source was which she didn’t want to give up until Matthews pressed her four or five time when she finally got her information off the internet. Seriously, the internet was her source. If you get caught referencing the internet for a high school English class you get an automatic “F” on your paper. Yet if you use the internet as a reference on television, apparently you get your own show on MSNBC. But really, how entertaining is the MSNBC company picnic is every year. What does it say that Pat Buchanan gets along with the most people over there.

One thing I did not hear at all about the last two week from either the Democrats, the Republicans, or the press was our national debt which currently sits at 9.7 trillion dollar. $9.7 trillion and not a word about it. To put that in perspective if we paid it off today each American would have to pay $31,000. If you include the implicit debt (which is everything we own plus money we have already pledged to spend) that would come up to $53 trillion. And all these economic problems can be tracked back to the debt, it has destroyed the dollar leading high gas prices, that leads to high prices of consumer goods which leads to foreclosure and failing small businesses that ups the unemployment rate.

Sorry Keith, but this is why the Obama speech failed. His only way to bring in money was to tax the top five percent (which would put the death nail in all the small businesses), but unless that tax rate is 90%, it won’t put a dent into the deficit. And let us not forget, not only does he have no plan to bring in more money, he want to add to the debt by paying college tuition, health care, and other spending that could increase the deficit to the point we might as well be annexed by China we will owe them so much. And he want to give us a rebate, you know, because that worked so well when George Bush did that. (Obama: more Bush failed policies, see I can be a cable news commentator)

And about that free college, what ever happened to “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country”? Obama is twisting that and is straight up bribing people to get off their butts to make the world a better. What kind of warped world do we live in when it was the Republican that actually channeled John F. Kennedy by imploring anyone who finds faults with the country to make it better by becoming a teacher, join the armed services, feed a hungry child, defend the rights of the oppressed and if you do so the country will be better and you will be happier.

Not that McCain gets off the hook on the deficit either. He didn’t propose any programs that would increase the budget ten fold like Obama, but he doesn’t have a plan that will put much of a dent into debt. Yeah his energy play should spur the economy if implemented properly and we need to put an end to needless earmarks, but even those are only increasing the debt by only a couple tens a millions a year. You know something wrong when someone says something like “only tens of millions.”

At the current debt I realistically cannot expect either candidate to get the debt erased by the second term let alone their first, but I would at least like to see a plausible pln to get the debt halved by the time they leave office. We are eighteen days away from the first presidential debate but it isn’t until the third that will be focusing on domestic and economic policy and hopefully the moderator Bob Schieffer peppers the candidates on the national debt. But I have learned not to expect much from the press.

In conclusion, I would like to say Go Brown!


Scooter Update 9/8: Apparently someone over at MSNBC read my diatribe because it was announced today that Keith Olbermamm has been yanked from anchor chair on further presidential events replaced by David Gregory. In a story by the New York Times they say, "Tom Brokaw and Brian Williams have told friends and colleagues that they are finding it tougher and tougher to defend the cable arm of the news division" with Brokaw saying Matthews and Olbermann have, "gone too far." (see: MSNBC Takes Incendiary Hosts From Anchor Seat). While on MSNBC.com's on website said, "Olbermann began to have difficulty keeping his opinions in check, or simply stopped trying." Oh, snap. Bt my favorite part is when they quoted John Stewart brought up MSNBC in an interview with Brian Williams:

"Is there no control?" Stewart asked him. "‘Is it ‘Lord of the Flies?’"

A sheepish Williams said that every family has a dynamic of its own.

"But does MSNBC have to be the Lohans?" Stewart said.

(see: New Roles for Olbermann, Matthews) Now I really want invited to the next MSNBC picnic.

It Is Pretty Pathetic

Ever since the start of this political cycle I feared of a Rudy Giuliani vs. Hilary Clinton match up. Yeah I have had to vote for the president I though would screw up the country the least before but choosing between Giuliani and Clinton would make having to choose between George Bush and John Kerry or Al Gore seem like choosing my favorite Victoria Secret model in comparison.

Much to my surprise, the media didn’t get their Subway Series they were pushing for when Giuliani was the first out of the Republican race and it looked as if I would even get a chance to put the last nail into the coffin of Clinton’s presidential campaign, a though that made me extremely giddy. Of course I am a moron who forgot where I lived. I had bought into the Barack Obama momentum completely forgetting I live fifteen minutes from what is considered the Klu Klux Klan kapitol of the north. I really should have known better.

So the question shouldn’t be why did she won but how did she win. If you were to see the Ohio map, Obama won easily in Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Columbus, democratic strong holds, yet Hilarity dominated in the gun toting, God-fearing part of the state, winning my home county 61-38 which I was surprised to see it on CNN’s top three Republican counties in the state. Of course there is that KKK kontingent. But we still do border Cleveland and Akron.

So it looks as if that 3:00 in the morning ad worked (of course, keep in mind she only gained somewhere between four to eight delegates last night), which I always found odd because if she does somehow eke out the nomination, John McCain would easily win that argument as well as her previous lead on day one stump speech. Speaking of McCain, his speech (I won’t talk about Hilary’s or Barack’s because theirs came after my bedtime) came with an interesting inclusion saying, “the next president must explain how he or she intents to bring that war to its swiftest possible conclusion with out exacerbating a sectarian conflict.” Now I was never one of those morons who took McCain’s 100 years war out of context (who followed up that comment by saying as song as the soldiers were not in harm’s way) but I was surprised at how quick he is to get to the middle on the subject.

You're a Baseball Glove, Get on that Truck

Yesterday I had to do some research on animal testing for a presentation in a class I had today and since I was responsible for obtaining information for the con, I figured peta.org would be the best place to grab some information. Now I think PETA members are clinically insane and do more harm for animal right the help them in the process. But the group can be thoroughly entertaining at times most notably with their ingenious “I’d rather go naked than wear fur campaign.”

Now I say they do more harm then good because of imbecile actions like dousing people who wear fur with blood. Now there are much more effective, and entertaining, when they go the passive aggressive root like when they called NBA players sissies because they were complaining about cuts on their finger from the new synthetic ball resulting in the league to go back to the leather balls. You can read that whole thing here: A Letter to the NBA (warning, this is a PDF file).

While visiting their website yesterday, I found the groups latest passive aggressive attack was on Michael Moore. For those that are unaware, Moore has a new documentary coming out called Sicko (see below for a trailer) which focuses on the health care debate in America. Well someone inside PETA decided to write to Moore, who is described in the PETA blog as, “a fat, bearded dude who makes political documentaries and occasionally angers conservatives.” Nice. Why attack Moore you might be thinking, well as Ingrid Newkirk put in her letter to Michael:

“Although we think that your film could actually help reform America’s sorely inadequate health care system, there’s an elephant in the room, and it is you. With all due respect, no one can help but notice that a weighty health issue is affecting you personally. We’d like to help you fix that. Going vegetarian is an easy and life-saving step that people of all economic backgrounds can take in order to become less reliant on the government’s shoddy healthcare system, and it’s something that you and all Americans can benefit from personally.” (Read the entire Letter to Michael Moore, again it is a PDF file)

As for someone who has been without health care for most of his adult life, I fully understand the need for a national health care system and cannot imagine anyone with a soul being against it either but I applaud PETA what they call the elephant in the room. Now I have no problem paying some extra so someone in a car crash gets the medical attention they deserve and not get denied because they don’t have insurance or just as worse, have insurance but not the right HMO. But I have absolutely no desire to pay extra taxes for diabetes and heart disease medicine for someone too lazy to get off their butt and do thirty minutes of exercises a day. In that same vain, I don’t want my taxes going to that moron who smoked a pack a day for forty years. So before we get a national health care plan, we really need to regulate health so we aren’t paying half or salaries to help people who obviously have no desire to help themselves. Now as promised, here is the Sicko trailer:





One more thing I found over at the website, PETA is again conducting their sexiest vegetarian alive poll so feel free to take part in that. Unfortunately you have to vote in both the dudes and chicks categories and since I am really now one to decide who the sexiest dude is, I just went with RZA, because, “If you want beef then bring the ruckus because Wu-Tang Clan is nothing to (expletive deleted) with.”

Record People Are Shady VI: Don't Mess with Texas

A couple days ago I mentioned how it was reported that Sony was putting in spyware embedded into their CD that would be transferred to anyone who put it into their computer’s CD drive (see Record People Are Shady V). I mentioned that that a layer should write up a class action lawsuit and apparently the Attorney General of Texas Greg Abbott was reading because of a new Texas law forbidding hidden tracking tools like the ones found on Sony’s CD’s. Says Abbott:

“Consumers who purchased a Sony CD thought they were buying music. Instead, they received spyware that can damage a computer, subject it to viruses and expose the consumer to possible identity crime.”

Now Sony claims to recall the affected CD’s last Friday but according to the Houston Chronicle they could still find the CD’s in question in local record stores. But that still doesn’t account for the 2 million CD’s that have already been sold. Abbott is seeking $100,000 for each infraction and if that includes all 4.9 million CD’s that were made, that would be (where’s my handy calculator) $490,000,000,000. God bless Texas. And if Ohio, or any other state for that matter, law makers need some quick cash, start up your lawsuits now.

Texas isn’t the only people getting in on the action, the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a nonprofit-free speech advocate, has joined in with a class-action suit. The EFF claims that the CD’s,

“degrades the performance of the (computer), opens new security vulnerabilities, and installs updates through an Internet connection to Sony BMG's servers. The software transmits data about users to [the software's maker] SunnComm through an Internet connection whenever purchasers listen to CDs, allowing the company to track listening habits — even though the [user agreement] states that the software will not be used to collect personal information and SunnComm's Web site says 'no information is ever collected about you or your computer”

And this lawsuit also includes not just the previously mentioned spyware but also includes CD’s with the anti-piracy software, MediaMax, which disallows the ability to rip your songs onto your iPod and most notable on the Dave Matthews Band’s Stand Up (and started my Record People Are Shady rants) and affects 20 million other CD’s.

To add insult to injury, their was a Newsweek article out this week decrying everything surrounding the Song debacle and essentially called the record people morons, “Punishing paying customers by giving them broken product is… insanity.”


Speaking of insanity, I happened to catch bits and pieces of the American Music Awards during the commercials of My Name Is Earl. Going into it I had no desire to watch the show because typically no one shows up to the AMA's (MIA this year were winners Green Day, Kelly Clarkson, Black Eyed Peas, Coldplay, Eminem, 50 Cent, and 2/3rds of Destiny’s Child) and there are no good performances because of the Grammys long standing rule that anyone who performs at the AMA’s won’t be asked to do so on the Grammys. At this point the AMA’s need to pack it up, back thirty years ago they may have been relevant being number two behind the Grammys but not they have slipped behind the Video Music Awards, Billboard Awards, Teen Choice Awards, Kids Choice Awards, and are barely above VH1’s Big in (insert year) Awards in terms of relevance.

I did seem to catch the worst of the worst with Lindsay Lohan’s performance of her new song that made Ashlee Simpson’s performance at the Orange Bowl last year sound like Pavarotti. Then inexplicably, she started to go into Stevie Nicks' Edge of Seventeen which was only listenable because Lohan was drowned out by her backing choir. But at least he went red again and is starting to get her breasts back. Maybe Lohan should have went the Hilary Duff root and just lip-sync. At least I think she was lip-syncing because I was unaware that someone was able to layer their voice live. The Grammy Awards can’t come soon enough. At least they have a ban on lip-syncing and piss-poor singing.