57 Channels and Only This Is On: March 19, 2023

 

The Blacklist:  So this guy was able to find the greatest pickpockets in the world, but could not find anyone who could hit a target?  For a mastermind, that was a very big oversite.  I did recognize the guy Red tried to poison, but cannot place him at all.  This show really could use “Previously On” montages when they bring back people like this.

 

The Last of Us:  Well that was a horrible finale.  If you have to sacrifice one person to save all of humanity, you do it.

 

Your Honor:   So this is how the show is going to end?  The judge is going to get on the stand and answer all the questions truthfully, exposing all the criminality, from police corruption that killed his wife, everything he did that kept his son out of prison, and all the gangster activities was the two warring factions.  Everyone but the young mother goes to prison.

 

The Mandalorian:  Um, did we really need an episode of Andor inside of this show?  Unfortunately I really do not care about two characters I barely remember.   So all of that was just an elaborate way to zap the doctor’s brain?

 

Wu-Tang: An American Saga:  Why were they wasting an episode on RZA’s brother this late in the series?

 

The Challenge: World Championship:  Seriously, they waited until the end to do the elimination?  This show really should stick to a one challenge and one elimination per episode  But poor Jujuy, stuck with someone giving the single worse elimination performance ever.  Everyone was helping Nelson and still he did not listen.

 

Survivor:  Is a dude ever going to be voted out?  I wonder what longer streak for one gender being voted out is?

 

School Spirits:  Why does the teacher have the cheerleader’s number?

57 Channels and Only This Is On: March 12, 2023

 

The Blacklist:  I am trying to do the math on the new agent.  Just how old was her mom when she had her?   Though I guess there were some time jumps so maybe it has been more than ten years on the show since season one.  But the Whaler really looked like Lizzy’s mother, for a second I thought she returned.

 

The Last of Us:  Yippie, another lets meet another dead person of the week.  They really leaned into the video aspect this week with Joel getting antibiotics and his health meter instantly getting full. But where exactly did the rest of the resort people go as one of the buildings got burned down?  The resort just seemed to turn into a ghost town the moment Joel arrived even though there were at least twenty people at dinner.

 

Your Honor:   Wait, the baby mama is only seventeen?  For some reason I thought she was in college.  But I am beginning to think that trail is what will bring all the corrupt people in New Orleans down.

 

Quantum Leap:  Oh yeah, other leaper is back.  That guy was missing for too many episodes.  But where was he the whole episode?

 

The Mandalorian:  Why did Mando send Grogu to Bo-Katan?  Little dude has made much bigger creatures go to sleep with the force.  Why waste all the time traveling to the moon when he could have easily dispatched the eye robot?  But I could not tell is Mando put the Dark Saber back on his suit.  Doesn’t Bo-Katan have a claim to it?  The eye robot won it in battle from Mando and she won it in battle from the eye-robot.  If she refused it from Mando because it has to be won in battle, kind of seems like this satisfies the prophecy.   

 

Wu-Tang: An American Saga:  Yet another very special episode.  I wonder just how many more of these will we get.  Will Method Man get one?  He was conspicuously absent from this episode and really has not been in the season that much. 

 

The Challenge: World Championship:  Some questionable non-winners included in this cast.  I do not even remember Justine.  Ben was “medically separated” from his season and still seems hurt.  Neither Australia player even made the finals.  No comment on Argentina because for some reason The Mount is not airing that season until halfway through this season.  Then I do not like that the Global MVP’s are paired with “Legends” ( I had to put that in quotation marks because, c’mon… Theo? Nelson?  Kacee?).  Hopefully the MVP’s do not let the “Legends” dominate the game and let the same boring alliances from the main show dominate.

 

Survivor:  Here is the problem with modern Survivor.  All the smart players what to sit next to someone annoying at Final Tribal so it will be easier for them to win.  So when the annoying people used to go out first, now we have to spend an entire season them with them.  I was just flabbergasted that the one dude whose name I have not bothered to learn yet sided with the two most annoying people this season.

 

School Spirits:  I was not expecting high art, but the acting was somehow worse than I was expecting.  Okay, I do have to admit the gay homosexual dying from a nut allergy was pretty funny.  That chick really should have laughed at that.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: March 5, 2023

 

The Last of Us:  Oh joy, another dead person of the week episode.  But I wonder if we will revisit this scene because you know that Ellie ended up killing that chick and it would be weird if they never show it.

 

Your Honor:   Wait, the mayor is evil?  Was this a plot twist that happened this episode or have I not been paying attention?  And he called the crooked cop to get rid of the car?  I thought he got the kid’s brother to get rid of the car.  And now the mayor wants the kid dead too?  I feel like I missed an episode or five.  None of this makes complete sense.

 

Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches:   I did not go into this show expecting it to be high art, but I still was not expecting it to be a complete incomprehensible mess.  Does anyone know what is going on?

 

La Brea:  Why were they so concerned with the portal closing?  They just went back four hours.  If it closes, just wait out the four hours then go back to the time machine then.  But a pretty wild finale, no more time machines and the mom is lost in history.  Maybe she goes to the future where time machines exist and travels back.  Oh, and the dad has a sister.  Could it possibly be the shady German chick who pretended she did not know English we just met, or possibly her mom?

 

The Mandalorian:  I feel bad for the people who skipped Boba Fett.  Though I did watch and that opening scene had me fooled.  I thought that was young Din being inducted into the order until adult Din showed up.  But I do wonder if Bo Katan will ever challenge Din for the Dark Saber.  She clearly want to rule Mandalore but will she be willing to take the Dark Saber from Din in battle when he does not want to fight her for it?

 

Wu-Tang: An American Saga:  Why are we expected to care so much about Masta Killa.  It seems like dude just showed up last week on the bus and now he is the focus of a third of an episode.  But poor Inspectah Deck, had to share an episode with the two least important members of the Wu.  I do even remember that song from Tales from the Hood.

 

Survivor:  The show needs to do away with the two hour premiere because they are a complete drag.  Well, this one was until the end with the most chaotic premiere episode Tribal Council ever.  I always watch the show and wonder how these people are not so paranoid that they are not just constantly playing their Idols and advantages.  Finally a bunch of contestants playing like I would.  Four of the six members played something.  But I wonder if anything else gets played if that first chick did not get extremely paranoid.  When two people play their shot in the dark, especially when you thought they were voting with you, you really have to play your Idol.  Hopefully this chaos continues because this show has gotten stale with too many gamebots.

 

The Challenge: Ride or Dies:  Okay, that Turbo video was great.  More Turbo in future seasons and less pussy chickens like Johnny, Devin, and Jordon.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: February 26, 2023

 

The Last of Us:  They really just yadda yaddaed half the country.  Did they really walk all the way from Kansas City to Wyoming?  But I do not understand why the brother was willing to go to Colorado but then just did not go when Joel decided he would go.  Why not both of them go if the brother knows the way?  He would have come in handy with the raiders at the university.

 

Your Honor:   So I was right, the judge was not able to cover up his wife’s murder.  But I had a good laugh when the detective, who has been trying to nail the judge all season, seemed so quick to believe his, another detective was the one that killed his wife theory.  The detective should have believed that as much as a one-armed man theory.  Then you had the little kid with the gangster’s kid, who he tried to kill last season, dead to rights, and just walked away.  Then was murdered trying to leave town.  Geez.  These people are so stupid.  So is this going to start a war between the gangster and the queenpin?

 

Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches:   I have no idea what is going on with the dude who was watching over Rowan and the spirit dude.  Is he attached to the watcher guy and that is why he did not show up when the other witch got captured?  Where exactly are the watcher and the spirit dude?

 

La Brea:  I had to laugh when the one sister said the other one never left her.  Well, aside from the time she went 10,000 years in the future and did not come back for thirty years.  But I guess for the other sister, it was only a couple days.

 

Wu-Tang: An American Saga:  I did not get around to it until this week, but that blacksplotation film with the ODB was quality entertainment.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: February 19, 2023

 

The Last of Us:  So is this show going to be the people who Joel and Ellie meet and then die of the week kind of show? 

 

Your Honor:   Wait, are they implicating the judge in the murder of his wife?  That is coming out of nowhere.  So is the cop grasping at straws or did he really did that too?  Probably the former because as we saw last season, he is very bad at covering up crimes; there is no why it is taking the cops years to catch him.

 

Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches:  I have been paying less and less attention to this show and then all of the sudden I look up and a circle of women are kissing what looks to be a skeleton baby.  What the fork?

 

How I Met Your Father:  This reminded me of the time in college where I swore off taking the elevator for health reasons.  But I had to drop off paper work in the twentieth floor of a building.  Around the tenth floor, I realize that maybe I should change the elevator ban to just if I need to go five flights or less at around the tenth floor.  Except when I decided to finally go the rest of the way in the elevator, I leaned that the middle floors were blocked off to the general public and it was not until the eighteenth floor when the doors were unlocked.  Well, at least I got my steps in that day.

 

La Brea:  Wait, that dude had a wife?  And just when did the Exiles find a way to blackmail him? 

 

The Challenge: Ride or Dies:  How nice that they brought back the two teams that were medically eliminated to come back and watch the ending of the final.  Though, maybe they should realize if half your teams cannot even complete your final, that maybe your final is not say.  They have a similar issue on The Challenge: USA.  This franchise really needs new producer before someone dies.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: February 12, 2023

 

The Last of Us:  So what exactly did the black dude do to Shauna from Yellowjacket’s brother?  Was he just simply a rat?  But shooting a doctor in the middle of a pandemic seems really extreme even if he was a rat too. 

 

Your Honor:   Okay, so there is a bigger gangster than Jimmy, his father in law.  If Jimmy and the judge team up to take down his father in law and they end up living as one big happy family by the end of the season I am going to be mildly disappointed.

 

Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches:  I have dream sequences.  They are a complete waste of time and I can never figure out what exactly what we are supposed to make of them.

 

The Challenge: Ride or Dies:  Wait, so this is a three episode finale?  Ugg, why do they drag these things out?  This was a complete waste of an episode unless you really enjoy watching people throw up.  And if you enjoy watching people throw up, you have real problems.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: Februvry 5, 2023

 

The Last of Us:  Oh joy, another “very special episode” of a prestige TV show.  But when every prestige TV show has a “very special episode” they just become less special.  And why would I spend almost an entire episode with two people we have never met and will be dead by the end of the episode when we barely know the two leads?  This just killed any momentum before they could even start any momentum.

 

Your Honor:   So the gangster is just now wondering how the judge got out of prison?  But I guess it was best to have the conversion in a public space because who know what would have been said or done had no one else been around.

 

Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches:  Who dreams of having sex fully clothed?  I know this is basic cable, but c’mon.  And I still have no clue who the lurker dude is and why he keeps tying himself to whoever wears that key.  They need to explain him soon.

 

Quantum Leap:  Way to just ruin the set rule that if a leaper dies during a leap, they die in real life.

 

La Brea:  I have no idea who that dud who died was.  They turned him over and I was like… okay.  But really, I do not really remember anyone not in the main cast except the dude with the wild hair.  I guess I vaguely remember the guy with the knife.

 

The Challenge: Ride or Dies:  Is Olivia unlucky or does this show need better safety requirements?  She pulled apart her finger why tossing something and then almost put her eye out during the slingshot.  Then the inconstant rules on this show just continue.  Devon can drink all the sabotage fish drinks, but Horatio could not do all the sling shots.  Maybe if they would stop making things up on the fly, people will not constantly get seriously injured.  

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: January 29, 2023

 

The Last of Us:  It was obvious that lady was not going to last long, but man, that maybe the creepiest television death of all time with the infected kiss. 

 

Your Honor:   I was wondering after the first episode just who knew about that baby.  Clearly the judge did not.  But what exactly did they talk about in prison if not that?  It is not like they were together very long.  I did not even realize they got so close that they were having sex.  Now the question is do her parents now?  They have yet to mention their grandkid.  But how awkward that the kid has the first named of a person killed by the person who provided the last name?  Though I forget if she knew about that whole thing.  If not, does the judge tell her?

 

Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches:  It is hilarious that even though they are speaking English, they put on subtitles for the Irish ladies.

 

The Challenge: Ride or Dies:  Good riddance Fessy, please never come back.  And take all those Big Brothers with you.  But with the 100 hour finale, hopefully that not mean they do not stretch out the two episode finale is already too much.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: January 22, 2023

 

The Last of Us:  Did this really need to be 80 minutes?  The season is 9 episodes, why not do ten episodes with shorter run times?  This episode could have ended with Joel disposing of the body in Boston and that would have been an interesting end to the episode and leaving you wanting more.  Are these long episode just done to screw people who are paid by the episode? 

 

Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches:  Um, why was the hot brain surgeon having an orgasm at the same time her mother was having sex?

 

Leverage: Redemption:  Ooo, the Leverage team got got.  Except I only vaguely remember the guy who entrapped them.

 

The Challenge: Ride or Dies:  Well, at least two of the three most annoying people went home this week.  Now if on Fessy follows his Big Brother brethren out the door next week.

 

Big Sky:  I actually did not even realize this was the finale until it was over.  Here is hoping ABC puts everyone out of their misery and finally cancels the show.