57 Challenge and Only This Is On: October 8, 2023

 

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon:  Not killing the dad is probably going to come back and bite Daryl.  He better hope the auntie is very persuasive.

 

Billions:  So Prince knows of the coup but we still have not gotten to the scene where he throws a chair through Wendy’s window.  I guess that comes when the alliance to bring him down actually does separate Prince from his billions.  So now Prince is bringing in a guy and Chuck is bringing in a guy… could they both actually be bringing in Bobby?  Bobby is clearly the guy Chuck is recruiting for their group, but why exactly would Prince trust Bobby at all?  But I predict that Chuck’s thumb drive gets exposed before the end of the season.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  On no, poor Sazz. Though I did predict that someone would kill her thinking it was Charles way back in season one. Finally got that right belatedly.

 

This finale was missing some hilarious reveal. First season had a drugged Charles, there was the Killer Reveal Party in the second season. I thought it was coming when Mabel mentioned it was too easy when they got the mom to confess. Instead it seemed like they went for a too dramatic reveal with the producer threatening to kill himself which just felt out of place on this show. It probably did not help that the producers were the worst part of this season.

 

But hey, we did finally get a full performance of Creatures of the Night. And I guess the nanny turned out to be the killer in the musical. I mentioned this last week, but I really hope they film a full production of Death Rattle Dazzle and put it out as a special as we wait for I have to assume will be a strike delayed fourth season.

 

Ashoka:  I have been saying all season: they should have found someone better than Erza. Looks like I have been proven right because the bum has up and left them. Now here Ahsoka and Sabine are, foreign to their world. Straight and composed, Thrawn's sermons they can do without. But I am sure they have found that everybody loves to love them when they're far, far away.

 

Quantum Leap:  Really, writers and actors were on strike, but this was the show that somehow managed to come back?  And they yadda yadda three years?  This is going to be a rough season.

 

Loki:  Well, that was confusing.  But at least there was more Pillboi and the new guy was funny.  Gotta love the duct tape bit.  But pretty ominous that one of the judges is Kaittlyn Stark’s creepy sister.

 

The Challenge: USA:   Oh, Michele, I told you that you chose unwisely last week.  But hilarious that the Goof is offering to go in himself next week.  I would love to see it.  But who can he beat at Hall Brawl.  But hey, at least it is not the throwing challenge from earlier this season.

57 Channel and Only This Is On: October 1, 2023

  

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon:  It did not occur to me that we could see the boyfriend again.  But it was pretty wild of him to think that he would think his former flame would know he was forking her sister.  I know I did not get that during their flashback.

 

Billions:  Wags has some weird kinks, but the new one is just gross.  But another episode without Bobby.  Is Chuck is really going to wait until the last episode or two to call in his favor?  Is Prince’s wife going to join the resistance?

 

Only Murders in the Building:  So it looks like I was right that the creepy mother poisoned Ben to sink the plane.  Now we have to wait and see if my other prediction of a second killer will be right.  But it was just nice to have the Three Amigos back together.

 

Ashoka:  So Thrawn’s plan was just to waste time?  That just made it seem like this was a waste of an episode because of it.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Oh Michele, why are you siding with the Vet’s?  Getting out Tori would have really helped your game.  But more oil wrestling challenges please.  Just do not cut to Josh during it next time.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 24, 2023

  

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon:  So the miracle child was born to a zombie.  Cool.  Does that explain why he is super weird?  They will probably just make him immune from zombieism.

 

The Chi:  Well, that was not the Avengers assembling that I predicted, it actually was a really embarrassing assassination attempt.  Then Emmitt tries to blame it on the gun jamming; the dude shot am missed multiple times before that.  But Victor definitely finishes him off, right?  Either Douda or Emmitt has to die next episode because Douda has to know it was Emmitt since he set up that meeting.  I guess we will have to wait awhile because the show is going on hiatus.   But I guess this ws the last we will see of Kevin, that certainly looked like a farewell.

 

Billions:  Finally, some R.E.M.  Great ending to a not so great episode. Why  was there so much about how Bobby owes Chuck when Bobby is not even in the episode?  The whole DMV thing just seemed like a forced attempted to get Chuck and Wendy at the same place and for the writers to add some forced sports references.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  Now that is how you make an entrance. Welcome back Detective Williams. Sorry you had to slum it on The Idol; hopefully she is available for the final two episodes and this was not a one off. Charles and Oliver's plan to distract her was hilarious. I did notice that they would have missed the interrogation of the first guy (though he is so insignificant I forgot his name if we ever knew it in the first place) and Bobo. I wonder if missing their interview will be important.

But maybe not because Loretta confessed. I had an inkling that it was going to happen, but thought that was going to be the cliffhanger for the penultimate episode, not this one. What pushed her over the edge was Donna talking about protecting her child at all cost which put Donna at the top of my murder board. Could she have sabotage the play to save her kid the humiliation of producing a bomb? She seemed extremely angry that the critic who wrote the bad review for the play was at the sitzprobe (I am now extremely disappointed that none of my high school musicals had sitzprobes).

So now I am thinking they pin the murder on Donna next week, but the big twist at the end is that she just poisoned Ben Glenroy and then we learn who pushed him down the elevator shaft in the final and that will be... mmm, I kind of like Tobert until he started dating Mabel. I guess I will stick with him unless someone really sticks out next week. Though, if it was him, then Detective Williams would have been wrong to say, "The killer is someone in this room." Maybe I will say Howard as a backup, he seems way too eager to be part of the podcast.

 

Ashoka:  So Erza has been hanging out with the rock people from Frozen this whole time?  Wild that him and Thrawn just let each other live in peace this whole time.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Hopefully Wes will keep his word and stay retired, but I will not hold my breath.  If only he took Johnny with him

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 17, 2023

 

 The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon:  So they are just not going to explain why Daryl is in France?  Didn’t he literally ride off into the sunset at the end of the main series?  But the new setting is breathing some new life into the show even if the religious stuff is a little heavy handed.  Really, that kid is going to be able to bring back souls to zombies?  C’mon.

 

The Chi:  In this week’s installment of should I know who that is: the dude Keisha met at the barber shop.  I feel like I have already asked this about this character this season.  But one episode until the break.  Will we finally see a team up to bring down Douda?  It seems like they have teasing it all season.

 

Billions:  I think we all know what Chuck will call on Axe to do when the time comes.  Of course with just four episodes left, that time will come soon.  But that double turn did not make much sense.  Doesn’t the US government look like fools for letting the Russian back on our soil?

 

Only Murders in the Building: I am mildly disappointed that, with the episode entitled CoBro, we did not get to see any actual footage of the movie this week, or more Girl Cop for that matter; but that disappointment quickly went away with Mel Brooks literally phoning in a cameo. It was also nice to get Theo back (cast this guy as Superman because I did not realize that was him until he started signing). Uma was also great as usual. I may have to steal her line about three types of people: alive, dead, and dead to me.

 

There was a popular theory that Loretta was actually Ben Glenroy's mother. We did learn this week that his and Dicky's parents were Ben Glenroy's birth parents, but I wonder if Peggy was on the right track and she is Dicky's mother but thought Ben Glenroy was her kid because his parents adopted her kid, which is actually Dickie, not Ben.

 

So where exactly is Mabel now? I always assumed she would find a way to stay at the Arconia by the end of the season because it would be weird for her to investigate a murder in a building she no longer lived in. I wonder if maybe Theo is letting her squat in the empty Dimas apartment for now. But it is really sad she did not let her favorite olds she had moved. At least two of the three amigos are back together; hopefully they bring Mabel back into the fold next week too. They are much better together than apart.

 

Ashoka:  I mentioned that Daryl Dixon got a little too religious, but at least he did not get swallowed by a whale.  I figured when the map was destroyed, they would use the space whales to get to the other side of the galaxy, but I was not expecting them to travel inside them.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Why are they still trying to make Survivor vs. Big Brother a thing?  There are two Big Brother players left.  It is over, Survivor won.  Team up and get rid of the remaining vets like it seemed like to be the plan in the beginning of the season.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 10, 2023

  

The Chi:   I have been following Emmitt’s Chekov’s Gun all season predicting that it would be used on Douda eventually.  Well, now Douda has it, so that it probably not going to come to fruition.  But now it seems fairly obvious that the Men’s Club is going to bring down Douda one way or another.  The question is, does someone kill him, or are they all going to testify against him?  Killing Papa’s papa will likely be the last straw.

 

Billions:  I did not realize that was Connerty until he started speaking.  Now I am struggling to remember what exactly happened to him and why Kate is so scared of him.  I think he tried to bring Chuck down for being too obsessed with Axe but crossed the legal line to do so.  But I do not remember why he would be an albatross to Kate.  We also saw a return, albeit short absent of the DA kind of screwed over by getting his old job back. I was waiting to see what revenge she would do to Chuck.  Sex tape was not on the top of the list.  Shockingly Chuck did not throw his boy under the bus.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  I pegged Flobert the killer (or at least one of the attempted killers) since the season premiere. Though after this episode and hoe he gave off strong Jan vibes, I am now thinking he may end up being the final red herring of the week before we learn who the real killer(s) was.

 

As for this week's red herring, Jonathan never made a good one. Seems if you killed the star, either the show will shut down or they would bring in another star to replace the current one. I guess this begs the question, why is Oliver having someone who, I believe, was last seen in the chorus of The Lion King be his lead?

 

But I have to say all the President McKinley stuff was hilarious.

 

Ahsoka:  I liked the scene where Ahsoka was running through the wet grass, Sabine falling a step behind, both of them never tiring. I am sure that is better than Erza is doing right now.

 

The Challenge: USA:   So are the finale two Big Brother players going to finally realize that Fessy and Josh are not going to help them and finally join Survivor and get rid of the vets?

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 3, 2023

  

The Chi:   In this week’s installment of should I know who these people are:  the gay dudes at Victor’s party?  Then is Kevin really going to leave The Chi?  How can you be on The Chi if you are not located in The Chi?  And how did his school afford such a fancy ballroom for prom?  And what kind f school lets them play uncensored songs at a school function?  Oh, and one last question, did the cops find the cashe of guns in the car?  You are not taking someone to the station for just speeding, but doubt they would let them out that night if they found that many unregistered guns.

 

Billions:  A couple episodes I wondered if the bassoon segment was a reference to Only Murders in the Building, now I wonder if The Trolley Problem is a reference to .he Good Place.  Or has the show run out random non sequitur that they have to steal other shows’.  But did they really need a lengthy morbid betting scene just to get to how Prince ties into the insurence company that would have to deal with the hurricane?

 

Only Murders in the Building:  Sazz!!! But it was strange that Joy was the red herring of the week, but she disappeared only for Sazz to do a therapy session. Though the other love interests came off as more sketchy this week. The Ben Glenroy book was creepy, especially for someone who kept having standoffs with the guy. Then by Flobert trying to incriminate Johnathan, which just made him look guiltier. But with all the talk of Charles maybe dating another killer this week, would they really have one of the other three amigos do the same? But guess this week answers the question of who did Charles tell Ben Glenroy to stay away from last season.

 

Justified: City Primeval:  So Raylan got a demotion when he shot someone who drew on him (okay he did goad that to happen) and someone wants to make him chief after shooting someone reaching for a cassette.  Poor Clement, just wanted someone to listen to his demo and no one ever wanted to.  But as lower tier Justified this revival was.  Sign me up for Raylan hunting fugitive Boyd.  But I wonder who was on the other line.  Was it Art?  Has Tim or Rachel taken over for him?

 

Ashoka:  So a human dude forks a green chick and their kid is a human with green hair?  Alrighty.  But I watched the cartoons and did not remember Sabine being a Jedi at all.  But I am sure at being a Jedi, she is better than Ezra.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Oh joy, another episode where the players whose personal backstories were featured in were the ones who were sent into elimination. How predictable. Granted they did spoil one of the players in the promo last week. Hopefully the shakeup at the end of the episode actually shakes things up.  Though I fear like the Vets might actually have the advantage.  There are six of them if you count Josh and Fessy.  On the surface there are seven Survivor and just three Big Brother.  There was a hot chick alliance, but with two of the three Big Brother members going home in two straight episodes, is that still a thing?  Will less hot alyssa want to continue to work with the Survivor chicks or work with the Big Brother guys and hope Josh and Fessy join them?   Then who gets to nominate people?  Just the winner?  The top two or three?  I just hope Survivor and Big Brother gang up on the Vets.  Someone please send Josh in.  I cannot image any of the females will want to potentially want to be teamed with him in a final.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: August 27, 2023

 

The Chi:  In this week’s installment of should I know who that is: the chick in the shower with Douda.  And did we know Quentin was an informant?  But what I am really following this season is Emmitt’s gun.  He learned his father took it this week and wants it back, but I do not think he actually got it back.  Though, if that is Chekov’s gun which will go off in the third act of the season (and I assume in Douda’s direction) does that make the bag of guns Chekov’s arsenal?

 

Billions:  Chuck had a secret meeting at the tomb of Ulysses S. Grant with… Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?  I know this show loves gratuitous cameos, but that was a bit absurd.  For a second, I thought maybe he was meeting with Axe.  Knowing this show, they probably will team up to bring down Prince, but it will probably be Wendy that facilitates that.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  It was a little annoying that they tried to hide who was calling Mabel when it was obvious that is was the person who gave the voiceover at the start of the episode. Otherwise, why else was Cinda there? But I have to say, I enjoyed wellness hippie Cinda than the murder podcaster Cinda.

 

It looks like next episode will be Joy being the red herring of the week which should be hilarious.  I cannot imagine they would make another of Charles’ girlfriend a kill no matter how funny that would be.  The whole fish thing was great.

 

Kimber as this week’s red herring was also very entertaining.  I think I would watch a Kinber trying to make it as an influencer in the New York theater type spin-off. Then the whole White Room stuff was hilarious. I just hope we get a full cast album of Death Rattle Dazzle because all these songs are bangers. But I am not sure I will be able to watch another musical without trying to find who they stuck the sing-talky song too.

 

Justified: City Primeval:  That scene in the diner really felt like the opening scene of the original series.  But instead of ending with a “Justified” killing, for the second time this season, two people trying to get Clement with two different schemes, ruined the other.

 

Ashoka:  Why are they spending so much time and energy trying to find Ezra Bridger?  There are so many Jedi out there who are better than Ezra.  And when did being stabbed in the stomach with a lightsaber stop being fatal?  It felt like a death sentence in the movies, but just a flesh wound on the television shows.

 

The Challenge: USA:  The hat trick plan has to be one of the dumbest things ever.  You just eliminated someone who was not a threat and it should be pretty obvious to all the Survivor and Big Brother people what the Vets were doing.  Of course the big question is will the Survivor and Big Brother people get back on the same page and target the Vets again.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: August 13, 2023

 

The Chi:  Are they really doing a grooming storyline with Poppa.  Sure, a two year age difference is not that gross, but it is a little icky hearing anyone ask someone when they turn eighteen.  But twice this week I had to ask myself, should I know these people?  First was the guy who found God while in prison.  I ended up using context clues to realize that was brother of the girl Kevin’s moms adopted.  Then the drug dealer’s mom was talking about her brother who was murdered.  Is that Quinten?  Did we know Quinten and the drug dealer were related?

 

Only Murders in the Building:  I was wondering how they were going to do an Only Murders in the Building podcast when the murder did not happen in the building.  Good fake out especially with Uma saying it was nice they kept the body out of the building this time only for her to see Ben Glenroy’s dead body later on.   It would have been funny had people kept trying to kill Ben Glenroy all season only to fail, but alas, it seems like he is really dead this time.

 

Though I do have a theory that whoever poisoned Ben Glenroy was not the person who pushed him down the elevator shaft.  Right now I think the brother poisoned him while the documentarian shoved him down the shaft even though they really seemed to want us to think Meryl Streep did it.

 

My other big prediction after one episode is that the “her” Charles told Ben Glenroy to stay away from is not a person but a thing.  He mentioned that Mabel did not get to know him before he died and Lucy was quickly ushered out of the theater so it does not seem like we will see much of her (and it would have been creepy anyway if Ben Glenroy needed to be told to stay away from a teenage girl).  That just leaves his girlfriend because I doubt Charles would get too attached to one of his castmates.

 

Justified: City Primeval:  Well, I was just saying how Raylan has seemed to mature during the show’s hiatus for not letting one bad guy kill another bad guy and then he goes and forks a key person in the case he is working on and get in a pissing contest with her ex-husband.  And now that key person may become a person of interest if she starts using that book to advance her career.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Ugg, the nation centric spin-offs last season year were so good without the same tired contestants from the flagship show.  Of course they had to go and ruin it just like they ruined All-Star.  Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to bring Paulie back.  And no, Paulie, people do not love to hate you, you have go away heat.  Ugg, and Josh is back and on the same team as Paulie.  Hopefully that team self-combusts and Michele is the only one who survives.   If we are lucky Johnny gets sent in and sent home, but I fear there may be a frozen envelope situation.  I like the idea of a hidden vote and random people being thrown in, but I do not trust the producers not to do some shenanigans to keep the same boring players on the show longer.

The 19th Annual Scooter Television Awards

Welcome to the 19th Annual Scooter Television Awards honoring show that aired a majority of their season between July 2022 and June 2023. Without further ado, here are the winners of the 2023 STA's:

 

Best Drama: Tell Me Lies

 

Best Comedy: Only Murders in the Building

 

Best Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show: Star Wars: Andor

 

Best Comic Book Adaptation: Harley Quinn

 

Best Period Show: The Great

 

Best Animated Show: Harley Quinn

 

Best Reality Show: Selena + Chef

 

Best Remake, Reboot, or (non-comic book) Adaptation: Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-Head

 

Best Miniseries: Flieshman Is in Trouble

 

Best Talk Show: Pardon the Interruption

 

Best New Show: Extraordinary

  

Guiltiest Guilty Pleasure: The Watchful Eye

 

Worst Show I Made Though an Entire Season Of: Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin

 

Best Hour of TV: The Bullet or the Bear (The Great)

 

Best Half Hour of TV: I Know Who Did It (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Biggest Shocker: Peter falling through the ice (The Great)

 

Best Line: “Olimabel - It’s our ship name! The Charles is silent.”  (Oliver: Only Murders in the Building)

 

Worst Idea: Letting the guy who did an unnecessary gritty version of A Christmas Carol, to do another unnecessary gritty version of a Charles Dickens novel.  

 

Worst Moment: The reveal of “A” (Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin)

 

Biggest Disappointment: The Great kept killing off Nicholas Hoult

 

Best Musical Moment: Fork tha Police (Yellowjackets)

 

Best Karaoke: Angel in Flip-Flops (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Best New Title Sequence: House of the Dragon

 

Best GIF:

 

  

Best Character: Catherine the Great (The Great)

 

Best Recurring Character: Bunny Folger (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Best Guest Appearance: Sazz Pataki (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Best Cast Addition: Harper Spiller (The White Lotus)

 

Best Duo: Lucia and Mia (The White Lotus)

 

Best Trio:  Mabel Mora, Charles Hayden Savage, and Oliver Putnum (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Most Entertaining Male Reality “Star”:  Danny McCray (The Challenge)

 

Most Entertaining Female Reality “Star”:  Selena Gomez (Selena + Chef)

 

Most Annoying Reality:  Faysal (The Challenge)

 

Most Anticipated New Show of the Next Season: The Curse

 

Most Anticipated Reboot:  Justified: City Primeval

 

Show That Should Be Brought Back: Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies

 

Biggest Question for 2023-2024: When will the writer’s (and maybe actor’s) strike end?

 

The Twenty-Five Best Shows of 2022-23

1.  Only Murders in the Building

2.  The Great

3.  Tell Me Lies

4.  Extraordinary

5.  Star Wars: Andor

6.  Harley Quinn

7.  Ghosts

8.  The White Lotus

9.  Yellowjackets

10.  Ms. Marvel

11.  Single Drunk Female

12.  The Boys

13.  Mike Judge's Beavis and Butt-Head

14.  Abbott Elementary

15.  Wedding Season

16.  The Mandalorian

17.  The Last of Us

18.  The Capture

19.  Wreck

20.  Reboot

21.  She-Hulk: Attorney at Law

22.  The Head

23.  Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies

24.  History of the World, Part II

25.  House of the Dragon

To be eligible for this list, the show must have aired a majority of their season between July 2022 and June 2023.

The 13 Most Anticipated Events of 2023

 

The great Adam Duritz told us that it was a long December but there is reason to believe that this year will be better than last.  Here are thirteen reason why 2023 may actually be better than last year.

 

 

13.  Obligatory Superhero Mention:  It was a rough year for superheroes in 2022 and it looks like fatigue is finally settling in.  Marvel Phase 4 fizzled to an incoherent end.  It was even worse for DC which saw a Batgirl film get canned when it was almost finished filming and chaos ensued when the control given to James Gunn.  Henry Cavill was out as Superman days after it being announced he would return so Gunn could direct a Superman movie himself (that is some Big Dick Cheney Energy).  But as of now, DC will be releasing four zombie films tied to the last regime: Shazam! Fury of the Gods (March 7), The Flash (June 16), Blue Beetle (August 18), and Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, half of which star someone with a lot of bad press last year and it is unlikely anyone in these movies will be seen again in these roles.

 

12.  Marvel launches Phase 5 with Ant-Man: Quantumania (February 17) featuring the theatrical debut of Kang who was last seen in the season finale of Loki, though this Kang is a variant of that one.  Yeah, that was one of the problems with Phase 4, it started getting confusing.  That will be followed by Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 (May 5), which will likely be Gunn’s last contribution to Marvel (at least until he gets fired by DC), The Marvels (July 28), featuring one of the few bright spots of Phase 4: Ms. Marvel.  On the small screen, there will be new seasons of What If…? and Loki, spin-offs starring Echo and Agatha as well new show Secret Invasion (featuring Emilia Clarke’s MCU debut after unsuccessful stints in the terminator and Star Wars franchises)  and Ironheart.  Oh, and Sony is still trying to make their Spider-Man Cinematic Universe a thing and will release something called Kraven the Hunter (October 6).  Oof.  But at least they have Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (June 2), a sequel to the entertaining animated movie.

 

12.  The Drop (January 13, Hulu):   I am not sure if this is a mockup of The Slap, but I am just going to pretend it is.

 

11.  Orphan Black: Echoes (TBD, AMC):  Does we need more Orphan Black, especially without Tatiana Maslany?  And how exactly do you do this show without her if there are about a hundred people in this world who look like her?  Little is known about this show other than it stars Krysten Ritter, though we do not know how many Krysten Ritters there will be.

 

10.  Evil Dead Rises (April 21, theaters):  This is the second attempt to revive the Evil Dead franchise without Sam Rami writing or director or starring Bruce Campbell (both or producing).  This is the first one to take outside a cabin in the woods but instead the Book of the Dead will be found in the bowels of an apartment building.  Hopefully the change of scenery will add something to this film that the first reboot did not.  Unfortunately this is one of the films that Discovery took off the HBO Max schedule and put it in theaters.  So I guess I will have to wait an extra 45 days to watch.

 

9.  Community: Six Seasons and Finally the Movie (TBD, Peacock):  During the third season, Community was preempted for couple months to air The Cape.  In the show, Abed became obsessed with the show even declaring that it would run for six seasons and a movie, a phrase that became a rallying cry for the show’s fans as it was perpetually on the bubble.  Of course NBC canceled it one season shy.  Yet, somehow, Yahoo! Screen (almost a big footnote as The Cape) picked it up for that sixth season.  Then seven year after its six season, the show is finally getting a movie on Peacock. 

 

8.  Party Down (February 23, Starz):  Speaking of long gestating revivals of cult comedies, rumors of a Party Down movie date back over a decade but it is getting a full series return to the same network that axed it thirteen years ago.  Everyone from the second season is back except Lizzy Caplan (Chloe Zoe joins the cast to replace her) and as depressing their lives were when the original aired, I can only imagine how more depressing it will be this time.  My one hope for the revival is that, much like Rob Thomas’ last revival, he brings back Jason Doring (I believe he played a Young Republican in the first season) just to kill him off.  That would be hilarious.

 

7.  The Last of Us (January 15, HBO):  I never played the video game, but if the adaptation is half as good they say the game is, we will start off 2023 on a high note.

 

6.  The Curse (TBD, Showtime):  Emma Stone is quickly becoming the queen of weird television shows.  She recently appeared in the trippy Maniac and next up is this comedy which also stars Nathan Fielder (who is also set to direct) about a cursed house being renovated by an HGTV show.  Sounds wild.

 

5.  More Star Wars:  Not as rough as the superhero movies and shows, but quite an uneven year for Star Wars.  The Book of Boba Fett and Obi-Wan were not highly regarded and while Andor was one of the most critically acclaimed shows of the year, it was also, reportedly, the least watched live action Star Wars show yet.   Oh, and no The Mandalorian, though the titular character and his little green friend did pop up a couple times on The Book of Boba Fett.  Oh, and it is now three years since the last movie and still no official date for the next one.  But the little green savior will be back on the small screen this year (March 1).  The Asoka spin-off will also be this year as well as a new show Skeleton Crew from the guy behind the latest Spider-Man movies.  But the year will be kicked off by a second season of The Bad Batch (January 4).  A new season of Visions and new animated show Young Jedi Adventures are also expected early this year.

 

4.  Only Murders in the Building Season 3 (TBD, Hulu):  Shockingly, Paul Rudd showed up in season two finale.  Even more shocking, he died in his second season.  Even more shocking than that, the show then announce, despite just killing him off, Rudd would be joining the cast for season three setting up a Fundamentals of Caring reunion and a reunion of 5-timers club members.  I am guessing there will be copious amounts of flashbacks in season three, though evil twin brother cannot be ruled out in a show like this.

 

3.  Women’s World Cup (July 20, Fox):  You know it has been a bad World Cup when  journalist dies at a game and most people think the government had him killed because he dared to wear a rainbow shirt to a game.  The men’s world cup was an unmitigated disaster from all the migrant worker deaths, FIFA banning arm bands, and the government banning beer hours before kickoff and getting caught bussing in fans to cheer for their team.  The good thing about the women’s world cup is that most despots are too sexists to bid on them.   The field has been expanded 32 teams which has led to first time world cup appeared by the Philippines and Zambia in either men’s or women’s cups.  Two time defending champs America have to be the favorite going in, but after a three game losing streak last fall, it looks like European teams are starting to catch up.  Despite the games on the other side of the world in Australian and New Zealand, the first two games for the US are at 9:00 EST, though the third start at 3:00 in thr morning.

 

2.  Yellowjackets Season 2 (March 26, Showtime):  All hail our new Antler Queen Lottie Forking Mathews!!!  Unfortunately the PR people at Showtime ruined that both Lottie and Van will make it to present day with casting of their adult versions (Elijah Wood has also been cast as a Citizen Detective).  But despite that annoyance, I am extremely excited to see the teenagers dissolve into madness as winter quickly fell on the Canadian forest, and mostly fell on poor Jackie.

 

1. Justified: City Primeval (TBD, FX):  One of the five greatest shows of this century is getting a reboot.  While Raylan Givens does not actually appear in the Elmore Leonard book, they are fudging that for the show.  As of now it looks like Raylan will be the only one from the show to return, unless you count his daughter who will be played by Timothy Olyphant’s real life daughter. 

 

 

Here is everything else I will be watching this winter:

 

Mondays

8:00 – The Neighborhood (January 16, CBS)

10:00 – Quantum Leap (January 2, NBC)

10:30 – Miracle Workers: End Times (January 16, TBS)

 

Tuesdays

Leverage Redemption (already back, Freevee)

How I Met Your Father (January 24, Hulu)

Extraordinary (January 24, Hulu)

8:00 – Night Court (January 17, NBC)

9:00 – La Brea (January 31, NBC)

 

Wednesdays

The Bad Batch (January 4, Disney+)

Wu-Tang: An American Saga (February 15, Hulu)

The Mandalorian (March 1, Disney+)

8:00 – The Challenge (already back, MTV)

8:00 – Survivor (March 1, CBS)

8:30 – The Goldbergs (January 11, ABC)

9:00 – Abbott Elementary (January 4, ABC)

10:00 – Big Sky (January 4, ABC) 

10:00 – Grown’ish (January 18, Freeform)

 

Thursdays

8:30 – Ghosts (CBS, January 5, CBS)

 

Fridays

8:00 - Young Rock (January 6, NBC)

 

Sundays

8:00 – The Blacklist (Febuary 26, NBC)

9:00 – Mayfiar Witches (January 8, AMC)

9:00 – The Last of Us (January 15, HBO)

9:00 – Your Honor (January 15, Showtime)

9:00 – Yellowjackets (March 26, Showtime)

The Most (and Least) Anticipated Questions of 2022-23 Television

 

The start of the television season is upon us, though it feels like it already started as many big shows started last week.  Though, it reality, it feels like the television season did not even end with a constant stream of notable shows popping up during what typically been a barren wasteland for scripted television.  But I digress.  The unofficial start of the television season is when I like to ask a couple questions that hopefully get answered by the end of the season… if the season actually ever ends in the era of streaming.

  

      1.       Who Will Win the IP War: Marvel, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars?  Labor Day is when temperatures start to fall with the unofficial end of summer, but things are already heating up on television.  We have three episodes of She-Hulk and House of the Dragon as well as two episodes of Rings of Power.  Then the day before the official first day of fall, Andor premieres.  Marvel, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars represent the three biggest names on television right now (sorry DC and Walking Dead who also recently launched less buzzworthy shows).  HBO says Hot D got 10 million viewers for its premiere and increased that for the second episode.  Then Prime said 25 million people watched Ring (though a bit apples to oranges because Hot D was just Americans and Rings were worldwide).  The Ploose did not give out She-Hulk numbers, but something called Samba TV claims 1.5 million households watched the premiere, but again households to people can be apple to oranges).  That viewership went up seems like Hot D is currently in prime position to win the IP wars.  The low states comedy of She-Hulk will probably come in last with Andor being the dark horse.  The last two Star Wars shows were not well received but Rogue One was one of the bright spots of the Disney era Star Wars properties.  But what is clear, there will be a round two.

      2.       Who the Fork Is Lottie Matthews?!?  Fewer things got me more hyped while watching television over the past year than listening to Natalie’s voice mail on Yellowjackets when her AA sponsor found out who emptied Travis’s bank account and asked her, “Who the fork is Lottie Matthews.”  Sure, my theory that Lottie was Pit Girl went out the window, but considering how Lottie went from a background character to a crazy Antler Queen, I am not disappointed.  If she could go off the rails after a couple months, just how crazy has she become twenty-five year later?  Unfortunately the show already spoiled her acolyte Van is still alive when they announced Lauren Ambrose has been cast as an adult version.  Elijah Wood has also been cast, but thankfully not as adult Javi in another spoiler, but as one of Misty’s Citizen Detectives.

      3.       What Now on The Handmaid’s Tale?  After three seasons of torture porn, June actually managed to escape Gilliad last season and celebrated by brutally murdering Commander Waterford.  So what do you do after escaping and killing your capture?  Well, June still needs to rescue her daughter who is still in Gilliad.  Hopefully that does not take three seasons to accomplish.  And while the Commander is dead, his widow is still very much alive.  Though one person we will not be seeing is Emily who has been written off the show.  Though no big loss as she had not added much to the show after escaping back in season two.

      4.       Will Dr. Ben Seong Run Into Dr. Samuel Beckett?  For years I have been asking for a Quantum Leap reboot with Sam playing the Al role.  While we are getting a Quantum Leap reboot, the leaper is still a dude and the Al sand in will be played by Ernie Hudson.  Sigh.  Now the question is, will the new leaper eventually run into Sam?   Here is hoping he will and it will be sooner rather than later.

      5.       Who Killed Pail Rudd and When Will We Find Out?  Much like the first season of Only Murders in the Building ended with a teaser of a new murder, season two ended will Paul Rudd dying on stage shortly after having a tense exchange with Charles Hayden Savage and a notably shaken Mabel in shock.  Was Mabel the “she” Charles told Paul Rudd to stay away from?  The list of alternatives is not very long.  Lucy is too young but could Lucy’s mom be back in the picture.  Then there is the question of when will the third season premiere.  Season two actually arrived two months earlier than the first, could we get the third season two more months earlier?  That would put it in late April.  For Emmy reason, it is doubtful, but the Emmy window ending in late May, a premiere around that time does not seem out of the question.  Then the other question remains, if Paul Rudd was murdered on stage, will they need to change the name of Only Murders in the Building?

 

As the great philosopher Butt-Head once pondered, how would we know if something was cool if there weren't things that sucked; here are the five least anticipated questions

      1.       Who Will Survive the Walking Dead?  It is the end of the era, after ten seasons, the last as which was split into three parts; The Waling Dead is coming to an end.  So who will survive?  Well, Daryl and Carole have already been announced for a spin-off show (though Carole dropped out) as well as one with Maggie and Negan so I am guess those four survive unless those shows will just be those zombiefied four around eating stupid humans.  Actually, that may actually be better than what we will likely get.

      2.       Who Will Survive The CW Sale?  It was a bloodbath last spring when The CW canceled three of its female fronted superhero television shows (Stargirl was lucky in that it had not aired yet).  The Flash has already been announced for a final season which will leave just Stargirl, Superman, and the upcoming Gotham Knights as the lone superhero shows.  Will any of them or the other low performing show make the cut after the new owners have full control?  Who care, no one will likely watch either way.

      3.       Who Will Survive the HBO Max / Discovery Merger?  The new CEO comes in, axes the almost completed Batgirl and the internet turns into Chicken Little.  Someone even claimed HBO Max would stop making originals and current originals would move to HBO.  Stupid people.  While this month HBO Max will premiering… um, just about nothing, a sizzle real that launched with Hot D promises new seasons of Pennyworth (coming next month) Titans, Doom Patrol, Hacks Minx, Our Flag Means Death, coming soon.  Okay, the only new show is some new show with Elizabeth Olsen based on a story Hulu already did earlier this year.  So the merger may mean less content coming from HBO Max / Discover, but in an era of too much television, that may not be such a bad thing

      4.       Who Will Survive NBC Axing the 10:00 Hour?  This rumor just hit the internet recently launching a thousand Jay Leno jokes.  But if NBC does end up axing six hours every week, what will be left?  Sadly, it will probably not be what historically NBC has done best: comedies.  They are no sitcoms premiering this month, though Young Rock and some George Lopez show are coming to Fridays in November.  But losing 10:00 would also mean no full nights of Chicago or Law and Order shows.  Though what will become of ambitious shows like La Brea that NBC tries every year?  What surprises me about this is that linear television is still very profitable and NBC’s streaming sister, Peacock is the one that seems to be struggling the most.  It seems like a very poor business move.  But if we get less procedurals, maybe that will not be such a bad thing.  Speaking of which…

      5.       Just How Many Spin-Off Are There?  Law and Order and Chicago are not the only shows that dominate an entire night, FBI, All-American, and Walker all take up a full day of programing.  NCIS and The Rookie do have shows on different nights while Grey’s Anatomy takes up multiple timeslots on Thursday .  Surprisingly we are down to just the original CSI this fall.  Who are watching all these shows and their spin-offs?

 

Here is everything I will be watching this fall... Why the fork are there so many shows on Wednesdays?  How about spreading things out?

Mondays

8:00 – The Neighborhood (CBS, September 19(

9:00 – Kevin Can Fork Himself (AMC, already started)

10:00 – Quantum Leap (NBC, September 19)

 

Tuesdays

Reboot (Hulu, September 20)

9:00 - La Brea (NBC, September 27)

 

 Wednesdays

Wedding Season (Hulu, September 7)

Tell Me Lies (Hulu, September 7)

The Handmaid’s Tale (September 14)

Andor (Disney+, September 21)

Pitch Perfect: Bumper in Berlin (Peacock, November 23)

8:00 – Stargirl (The CW, already started)

8:00 – Survivor (CBS, September 21)

8:30 – The Goldbergs (ABC, September 21)

9:00 – Abbott Elementary (ABC, September 21)

10:00 – Big Sky (ABC, September 21)

 

Thursdays

Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount+, already started)

She-Hulk (Disney+, already started)

The Lord of the Ring: The Rings of Power (Prime, already started)

A Friend of the Family (Peacock, October 6)

8:30 – Ghosts (CBS, September 29)

 

Fridays

Ramy (Hulu, September 30)

8:00 – Young Rock (NBC, November 4)

 

Sundays

9:00 – House of the Dragon (HBO, already started)

9:00 – The Walking Dead (AMC, October 2)

10:00 – Let the Right One In (Showtime, October 9)