57 Channels and Only This Is On: December 22, 2024

 

Star Wars: Skeleton Crew:  So the captain could override the robot into remember he knew the planet but could not stop him from ripping limb from limb anyone who talked about the planet?  Kind of convenient.  Now I wonder if they are just going to go to the other dead planets.  Just how different are they going to be?  And just who was the headless statue?  Could it be someone from Star Wars lore or someone we have seen on the show?  It would be hilarious if it turns out to be Jason Mendoza, but I am leaning towards Fern's mom or someone Jude Law knows. 

 

Survivor:  This was probably the worst season to make the finale a two-parter because it was woefully obvious who was going to win.  But if you are going to go to a four hour finale, how about bringing back the old one hour reunion and do it in a live studio?  Discussing it moments after the vote just is not working.

 

The Challenge: Battle of the Eras:  Good riddance to Cara Maria.  Though someone was not paying attention because Jenny’s puzzle was not correct.  She clearly mixed up the bottom and the top pieces.  Seems likely Jenny goes in instead of Cara Maria, so does she beat Tori instead?  Not that it matters much, obviously Michele is going to win.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: December 15, 2024

 

 

Star Wars: Skeleton Crew:  This show was much better without Jude Law.  What made the Amblin this show is trying to copy so great was there were no adult, and if they were, they were the antagonists.  Jude Law seems more like an anti-hero, the guy who will screw over the kids, but will have a change of heart and go back and rescue them from the peril he probably put them in.  Okay, with that said, Jude Law fighting an Owl was pretty entertaining.

 

Survivor:  Do we really need a four hour, two part finale?  Especially with this boring cast.  Even more so because it is pretty obvious who will win.  Though it would be apropos of this crappy season if the old lady won.

 

The Challenge: Battle of the Eras:  So one lucky woman gets to go to some cold local just to be eliminated right before the final.  Granted it may be too.  I do wonder if they will throw the elimination towards Rachel if it gets to that just to say every era made the final.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: December 8, 2024

 

Star Wars: Skeleton Crew:  Shout out to whoever on this show went down to their local Halloween store and bought the cheapest werewolf mask they could find.  I really hope we get much more wolf guy this season.  The first episode was a bit slow, but really picked up when they woke up the droid.  But I do have questions about Jude Law.  If he is some Jedi who can use the Force the get the cell key, why does he need a group of kids to escape?  Could he not just escape and steal a spaceship?

 

Survivor:  Is the guy who should have been voted out first, has been dragged along because he seemed like an easy win after having a mental breakdown at the first challenge actually going to win this season?  That would make him a bottom five winner of all time.  Probably a bottom five season too.

 

The Challenge: Battle of the Eras:  We finally broke the cycle of ping ponging back between Michelle and Johnny.  We are getting too close to get a streak going the other way.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: July 21, 2024

 

House of the Dragon:  Meh, another episode where no one dies.  But hey, we did get a Daemon sex dream with his mother.  That was messed up.  When you are having sex dreams about your mom, maybe it is time to leave.

 

Orphan Black: Echoes:  Will people really be arguing Celine Dion vs. Mariah Carey in thirty years?  Is anyone arguing them today?  Are they really going to be the Beatles or the Stones for Gen Z? 

 

The Acolyte:  Well, we all knew Yoda was alive during this time period.  But will be see more of him on the show?  It was critically panned, met with a resounding “meh” by fans, and does not seem to be doing well by the streaming numbers.  This was supposed to revitalize the Star Wars franchised but ended up being a muddled mess, well, outside all the Jason Mendoza jokes.  Oh well, there is always Skeleton Crew supposedly coming later this year.

 

The Ark: Usually I need a lengthy YouTube recap to help me remember what is going on between shows, but after watching a lengthy YouTube recap of the first season and still came away remember none of that happening nor any of the characters.   This is one of the least memorable shows ever.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: July 7, 2024

 

House of the Dragon:  Oh hey, Sheila the She-Wolf, she is not suspicious at all.  So what exactly did she do the Daemon to see young Rhanera?

 

Orphan Black: Echoes:  Now I feel stupid.  I thought the scientist looked so much like the French chick from the original, I did not realize that was Kira until Felix showed up and called her “monkey.”  But in my defense, how was I supposed to know that was her if someone did not shout Keeeeeeeerrrrrraaaaaa?  But Felix added some much needed levity.  Now if only Uncle Donnie shows up.  Though I have a feeling Donnie and Alison probably died a long time ago. 

 

The Acolyte:   Was that unknown planet supposed to look like the planet where Rey found Luke?  It would be hilarious if there was some Sith temple on the other side of the planet unbeknownst to each other.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: June 30, 2024

 

House of the Dragon:  So is each episode this season going to end with a tragic death of a character or characters we barely know?

 

Orphan Black: Echoes:  When the blonde showed up in the first scene, I thought to myself, she looks exactly like the French chick in the original, yet she does not have an accent.  Why would they cast someone who looks just like her?  Oh, it is because she is her niece.  But this reboot could really use a Alison / Donnie type couple.

 

The Acolyte:   Bortles!!!!!!  I knew it.  But that was one of the worse kept secrets in TV history.  You could tell he was the master by the end of the trailer.  But is there anyone else left on this show after this episode?  Is it just Jason Mendoza, Sol and the twins?

 

The Chi:  The episodes started off with a three minute “previously on” showing Douda terrorizing everyone else in the cast.  Gee, I wonder what will happen in the episode.   At least we did not have to wait very long to see his dead body.  Unfortunately we got an “eight hour earlier” title card which meant we still had to wait to see who actually killed him.  But even that was a fake out in who actually did it.  While Douda being killed was not very shocking, we did get an actual shocking death.  Though I do not understand why you would kill that guy considering you just saw her try to kill Douda for attempting to kill her son.  What do you think she will do to you for killing her son?  The new kingpin will not likely be in that position for very long.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: June 23, 2024

 

House of the Dragon:  Child murder in the first episode?  Welcome back to Westeros.  But I have to say, this episode actually felt more… fun than the first season which seemed to be humorless and a bore.  This felt more like Game of Thrones at least in tone.  Going back to the wall also Helped a little.  Hopefully we get more non-Targaryen this season to break up the monotony.

 

The Acolyte:   So Jason Mendoza is definitely the Master and they are barely even trying to hide it.  Though did he really have time to cut himself down, beat the evil twin to the Wookie and double back so he could surprise everyone?

 

The Challenge All-Stars 4:  You would think with all the stupid carnival games, Ace would have had an advantage, except he still came in last.  Oh well, ho home ending like much Challenges end.

 

Pretty Little Liars: Summer School:  Wait, did this show actually come up with a competent ending?   And I did not realize how much that dude looked like Skeet Ulrich until he pulled off that mask.  But they had to ruin the competent ending with the stupid postscript.  The undead serial killer is just way too clichéd

 

The Chi:  I looked at the clock with just moments to go and thought to myself, literally nothing has happened in this episode yet… and moments later they blew up a kid.  Oh, wait, that was just a fake out.  Oh well, at least we had one child murder this week on television this week.  But they have to finally take down Douda for that in the finale, right?

57 Channels and Only This Is On: June 16, 2024

  

The Acolyte:   Not that the first two episodes were barnburners, but this episodes just ground the momentum to a halt.  And I am confused.  Just how were the kids created?  Why was the evil twin so mad at the Jedi since she started the fire?  What happened to the witched?  And where the fork was Jason Mendoza?!?

 

The Challenge All-Stars 4:  Poor Flora, had to limp away from the challenge.  Even TJ could not give his usual vitriol for quitters.  But they really need to do more carnival/backyard games so they do not kill one of these contestants that are closer to AARP than college.  In an ideal world, there would be a 40 year old minimum so people like Flora can have a chance.

 

Pretty Little Liars: Summer School:  So they are really going to wait until the final to confirm if Bloody Mary is actually Imogen’s mother or not.  Way to drag that out.  Meh. 

 

The Chi:  Wait, Douda and Dwayne Wayne know each other?  Did we know that?  But Victor getting off on a technicality was a little silly.  I wonder if his political career will have blowback from the arrest.  But even sillier was that one chick wants Douda dead, had a gun to the back of his head, but just walked away.  They are really going to drag this out as long as possible.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: June 9, 2024

 

The Acolyte:   So Jason Mendoza is definitely the Master, right? If so, he will go from playing a solemn monk who was secretly a goofball to playing a goofball who is secretly a Sith (which basically and evil Jedi and Jedi's are monk-like).  He better throw a Molotov cocktail sometime this season.

 

The Challenge All-Stars 4:  I feel like this show has an unusual number of color blind people on this show.  You would think the amount of times a contestant brings up being color blind, they would stop doing these color specific challenges.

 

Pretty Little Liars: Summer School:  The Hell House was hilarious; though I am not sure it was supposed to be.  But Bloody Mary is Imogen’s mother.  Huh?  But I guess when the twist in the original show was that Alison’s brother turned out to be her other brother’s girlfriend, this makes more sense.  So is this a twin situation or is Imogen just crazy.

 

The Chi:  When is the men’s group going to finally stop talking about dealing Douda and actually do something?  Well, besides the previous failed assassination attempt.  But baby-daddy twist was a bit too soap-opera like.  Does the timeline even work?  She was gone a very long time and was not showing when she was rescued. This seems more like a retcon more than a plot twist.

57 Challenge and Only This Is On: October 8, 2023

 

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon:  Not killing the dad is probably going to come back and bite Daryl.  He better hope the auntie is very persuasive.

 

Billions:  So Prince knows of the coup but we still have not gotten to the scene where he throws a chair through Wendy’s window.  I guess that comes when the alliance to bring him down actually does separate Prince from his billions.  So now Prince is bringing in a guy and Chuck is bringing in a guy… could they both actually be bringing in Bobby?  Bobby is clearly the guy Chuck is recruiting for their group, but why exactly would Prince trust Bobby at all?  But I predict that Chuck’s thumb drive gets exposed before the end of the season.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  On no, poor Sazz. Though I did predict that someone would kill her thinking it was Charles way back in season one. Finally got that right belatedly.

 

This finale was missing some hilarious reveal. First season had a drugged Charles, there was the Killer Reveal Party in the second season. I thought it was coming when Mabel mentioned it was too easy when they got the mom to confess. Instead it seemed like they went for a too dramatic reveal with the producer threatening to kill himself which just felt out of place on this show. It probably did not help that the producers were the worst part of this season.

 

But hey, we did finally get a full performance of Creatures of the Night. And I guess the nanny turned out to be the killer in the musical. I mentioned this last week, but I really hope they film a full production of Death Rattle Dazzle and put it out as a special as we wait for I have to assume will be a strike delayed fourth season.

 

Ashoka:  I have been saying all season: they should have found someone better than Erza. Looks like I have been proven right because the bum has up and left them. Now here Ahsoka and Sabine are, foreign to their world. Straight and composed, Thrawn's sermons they can do without. But I am sure they have found that everybody loves to love them when they're far, far away.

 

Quantum Leap:  Really, writers and actors were on strike, but this was the show that somehow managed to come back?  And they yadda yadda three years?  This is going to be a rough season.

 

Loki:  Well, that was confusing.  But at least there was more Pillboi and the new guy was funny.  Gotta love the duct tape bit.  But pretty ominous that one of the judges is Kaittlyn Stark’s creepy sister.

 

The Challenge: USA:   Oh, Michele, I told you that you chose unwisely last week.  But hilarious that the Goof is offering to go in himself next week.  I would love to see it.  But who can he beat at Hall Brawl.  But hey, at least it is not the throwing challenge from earlier this season.

57 Channel and Only This Is On: October 1, 2023

  

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon:  It did not occur to me that we could see the boyfriend again.  But it was pretty wild of him to think that he would think his former flame would know he was forking her sister.  I know I did not get that during their flashback.

 

Billions:  Wags has some weird kinks, but the new one is just gross.  But another episode without Bobby.  Is Chuck is really going to wait until the last episode or two to call in his favor?  Is Prince’s wife going to join the resistance?

 

Only Murders in the Building:  So it looks like I was right that the creepy mother poisoned Ben to sink the plane.  Now we have to wait and see if my other prediction of a second killer will be right.  But it was just nice to have the Three Amigos back together.

 

Ashoka:  So Thrawn’s plan was just to waste time?  That just made it seem like this was a waste of an episode because of it.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Oh Michele, why are you siding with the Vet’s?  Getting out Tori would have really helped your game.  But more oil wrestling challenges please.  Just do not cut to Josh during it next time.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 24, 2023

  

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon:  So the miracle child was born to a zombie.  Cool.  Does that explain why he is super weird?  They will probably just make him immune from zombieism.

 

The Chi:  Well, that was not the Avengers assembling that I predicted, it actually was a really embarrassing assassination attempt.  Then Emmitt tries to blame it on the gun jamming; the dude shot am missed multiple times before that.  But Victor definitely finishes him off, right?  Either Douda or Emmitt has to die next episode because Douda has to know it was Emmitt since he set up that meeting.  I guess we will have to wait awhile because the show is going on hiatus.   But I guess this ws the last we will see of Kevin, that certainly looked like a farewell.

 

Billions:  Finally, some R.E.M.  Great ending to a not so great episode. Why  was there so much about how Bobby owes Chuck when Bobby is not even in the episode?  The whole DMV thing just seemed like a forced attempted to get Chuck and Wendy at the same place and for the writers to add some forced sports references.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  Now that is how you make an entrance. Welcome back Detective Williams. Sorry you had to slum it on The Idol; hopefully she is available for the final two episodes and this was not a one off. Charles and Oliver's plan to distract her was hilarious. I did notice that they would have missed the interrogation of the first guy (though he is so insignificant I forgot his name if we ever knew it in the first place) and Bobo. I wonder if missing their interview will be important.

But maybe not because Loretta confessed. I had an inkling that it was going to happen, but thought that was going to be the cliffhanger for the penultimate episode, not this one. What pushed her over the edge was Donna talking about protecting her child at all cost which put Donna at the top of my murder board. Could she have sabotage the play to save her kid the humiliation of producing a bomb? She seemed extremely angry that the critic who wrote the bad review for the play was at the sitzprobe (I am now extremely disappointed that none of my high school musicals had sitzprobes).

So now I am thinking they pin the murder on Donna next week, but the big twist at the end is that she just poisoned Ben Glenroy and then we learn who pushed him down the elevator shaft in the final and that will be... mmm, I kind of like Tobert until he started dating Mabel. I guess I will stick with him unless someone really sticks out next week. Though, if it was him, then Detective Williams would have been wrong to say, "The killer is someone in this room." Maybe I will say Howard as a backup, he seems way too eager to be part of the podcast.

 

Ashoka:  So Erza has been hanging out with the rock people from Frozen this whole time?  Wild that him and Thrawn just let each other live in peace this whole time.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Hopefully Wes will keep his word and stay retired, but I will not hold my breath.  If only he took Johnny with him

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 17, 2023

 

 The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon:  So they are just not going to explain why Daryl is in France?  Didn’t he literally ride off into the sunset at the end of the main series?  But the new setting is breathing some new life into the show even if the religious stuff is a little heavy handed.  Really, that kid is going to be able to bring back souls to zombies?  C’mon.

 

The Chi:  In this week’s installment of should I know who that is: the dude Keisha met at the barber shop.  I feel like I have already asked this about this character this season.  But one episode until the break.  Will we finally see a team up to bring down Douda?  It seems like they have teasing it all season.

 

Billions:  I think we all know what Chuck will call on Axe to do when the time comes.  Of course with just four episodes left, that time will come soon.  But that double turn did not make much sense.  Doesn’t the US government look like fools for letting the Russian back on our soil?

 

Only Murders in the Building: I am mildly disappointed that, with the episode entitled CoBro, we did not get to see any actual footage of the movie this week, or more Girl Cop for that matter; but that disappointment quickly went away with Mel Brooks literally phoning in a cameo. It was also nice to get Theo back (cast this guy as Superman because I did not realize that was him until he started signing). Uma was also great as usual. I may have to steal her line about three types of people: alive, dead, and dead to me.

 

There was a popular theory that Loretta was actually Ben Glenroy's mother. We did learn this week that his and Dicky's parents were Ben Glenroy's birth parents, but I wonder if Peggy was on the right track and she is Dicky's mother but thought Ben Glenroy was her kid because his parents adopted her kid, which is actually Dickie, not Ben.

 

So where exactly is Mabel now? I always assumed she would find a way to stay at the Arconia by the end of the season because it would be weird for her to investigate a murder in a building she no longer lived in. I wonder if maybe Theo is letting her squat in the empty Dimas apartment for now. But it is really sad she did not let her favorite olds she had moved. At least two of the three amigos are back together; hopefully they bring Mabel back into the fold next week too. They are much better together than apart.

 

Ashoka:  I mentioned that Daryl Dixon got a little too religious, but at least he did not get swallowed by a whale.  I figured when the map was destroyed, they would use the space whales to get to the other side of the galaxy, but I was not expecting them to travel inside them.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Why are they still trying to make Survivor vs. Big Brother a thing?  There are two Big Brother players left.  It is over, Survivor won.  Team up and get rid of the remaining vets like it seemed like to be the plan in the beginning of the season.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 10, 2023

  

The Chi:   I have been following Emmitt’s Chekov’s Gun all season predicting that it would be used on Douda eventually.  Well, now Douda has it, so that it probably not going to come to fruition.  But now it seems fairly obvious that the Men’s Club is going to bring down Douda one way or another.  The question is, does someone kill him, or are they all going to testify against him?  Killing Papa’s papa will likely be the last straw.

 

Billions:  I did not realize that was Connerty until he started speaking.  Now I am struggling to remember what exactly happened to him and why Kate is so scared of him.  I think he tried to bring Chuck down for being too obsessed with Axe but crossed the legal line to do so.  But I do not remember why he would be an albatross to Kate.  We also saw a return, albeit short absent of the DA kind of screwed over by getting his old job back. I was waiting to see what revenge she would do to Chuck.  Sex tape was not on the top of the list.  Shockingly Chuck did not throw his boy under the bus.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  I pegged Flobert the killer (or at least one of the attempted killers) since the season premiere. Though after this episode and hoe he gave off strong Jan vibes, I am now thinking he may end up being the final red herring of the week before we learn who the real killer(s) was.

 

As for this week's red herring, Jonathan never made a good one. Seems if you killed the star, either the show will shut down or they would bring in another star to replace the current one. I guess this begs the question, why is Oliver having someone who, I believe, was last seen in the chorus of The Lion King be his lead?

 

But I have to say all the President McKinley stuff was hilarious.

 

Ahsoka:  I liked the scene where Ahsoka was running through the wet grass, Sabine falling a step behind, both of them never tiring. I am sure that is better than Erza is doing right now.

 

The Challenge: USA:   So are the finale two Big Brother players going to finally realize that Fessy and Josh are not going to help them and finally join Survivor and get rid of the vets?

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 3, 2023

  

The Chi:   In this week’s installment of should I know who these people are:  the gay dudes at Victor’s party?  Then is Kevin really going to leave The Chi?  How can you be on The Chi if you are not located in The Chi?  And how did his school afford such a fancy ballroom for prom?  And what kind f school lets them play uncensored songs at a school function?  Oh, and one last question, did the cops find the cashe of guns in the car?  You are not taking someone to the station for just speeding, but doubt they would let them out that night if they found that many unregistered guns.

 

Billions:  A couple episodes I wondered if the bassoon segment was a reference to Only Murders in the Building, now I wonder if The Trolley Problem is a reference to .he Good Place.  Or has the show run out random non sequitur that they have to steal other shows’.  But did they really need a lengthy morbid betting scene just to get to how Prince ties into the insurence company that would have to deal with the hurricane?

 

Only Murders in the Building:  Sazz!!! But it was strange that Joy was the red herring of the week, but she disappeared only for Sazz to do a therapy session. Though the other love interests came off as more sketchy this week. The Ben Glenroy book was creepy, especially for someone who kept having standoffs with the guy. Then by Flobert trying to incriminate Johnathan, which just made him look guiltier. But with all the talk of Charles maybe dating another killer this week, would they really have one of the other three amigos do the same? But guess this week answers the question of who did Charles tell Ben Glenroy to stay away from last season.

 

Justified: City Primeval:  So Raylan got a demotion when he shot someone who drew on him (okay he did goad that to happen) and someone wants to make him chief after shooting someone reaching for a cassette.  Poor Clement, just wanted someone to listen to his demo and no one ever wanted to.  But as lower tier Justified this revival was.  Sign me up for Raylan hunting fugitive Boyd.  But I wonder who was on the other line.  Was it Art?  Has Tim or Rachel taken over for him?

 

Ashoka:  So a human dude forks a green chick and their kid is a human with green hair?  Alrighty.  But I watched the cartoons and did not remember Sabine being a Jedi at all.  But I am sure at being a Jedi, she is better than Ezra.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Oh joy, another episode where the players whose personal backstories were featured in were the ones who were sent into elimination. How predictable. Granted they did spoil one of the players in the promo last week. Hopefully the shakeup at the end of the episode actually shakes things up.  Though I fear like the Vets might actually have the advantage.  There are six of them if you count Josh and Fessy.  On the surface there are seven Survivor and just three Big Brother.  There was a hot chick alliance, but with two of the three Big Brother members going home in two straight episodes, is that still a thing?  Will less hot alyssa want to continue to work with the Survivor chicks or work with the Big Brother guys and hope Josh and Fessy join them?   Then who gets to nominate people?  Just the winner?  The top two or three?  I just hope Survivor and Big Brother gang up on the Vets.  Someone please send Josh in.  I cannot image any of the females will want to potentially want to be teamed with him in a final.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: August 27, 2023

 

The Chi:  In this week’s installment of should I know who that is: the chick in the shower with Douda.  And did we know Quentin was an informant?  But what I am really following this season is Emmitt’s gun.  He learned his father took it this week and wants it back, but I do not think he actually got it back.  Though, if that is Chekov’s gun which will go off in the third act of the season (and I assume in Douda’s direction) does that make the bag of guns Chekov’s arsenal?

 

Billions:  Chuck had a secret meeting at the tomb of Ulysses S. Grant with… Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?  I know this show loves gratuitous cameos, but that was a bit absurd.  For a second, I thought maybe he was meeting with Axe.  Knowing this show, they probably will team up to bring down Prince, but it will probably be Wendy that facilitates that.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  It was a little annoying that they tried to hide who was calling Mabel when it was obvious that is was the person who gave the voiceover at the start of the episode. Otherwise, why else was Cinda there? But I have to say, I enjoyed wellness hippie Cinda than the murder podcaster Cinda.

 

It looks like next episode will be Joy being the red herring of the week which should be hilarious.  I cannot imagine they would make another of Charles’ girlfriend a kill no matter how funny that would be.  The whole fish thing was great.

 

Kimber as this week’s red herring was also very entertaining.  I think I would watch a Kinber trying to make it as an influencer in the New York theater type spin-off. Then the whole White Room stuff was hilarious. I just hope we get a full cast album of Death Rattle Dazzle because all these songs are bangers. But I am not sure I will be able to watch another musical without trying to find who they stuck the sing-talky song too.

 

Justified: City Primeval:  That scene in the diner really felt like the opening scene of the original series.  But instead of ending with a “Justified” killing, for the second time this season, two people trying to get Clement with two different schemes, ruined the other.

 

Ashoka:  Why are they spending so much time and energy trying to find Ezra Bridger?  There are so many Jedi out there who are better than Ezra.  And when did being stabbed in the stomach with a lightsaber stop being fatal?  It felt like a death sentence in the movies, but just a flesh wound on the television shows.

 

The Challenge: USA:  The hat trick plan has to be one of the dumbest things ever.  You just eliminated someone who was not a threat and it should be pretty obvious to all the Survivor and Big Brother people what the Vets were doing.  Of course the big question is will the Survivor and Big Brother people get back on the same page and target the Vets again.

The 19th Annual Scooter Television Awards

Welcome to the 19th Annual Scooter Television Awards honoring show that aired a majority of their season between July 2022 and June 2023. Without further ado, here are the winners of the 2023 STA's:

 

Best Drama: Tell Me Lies

 

Best Comedy: Only Murders in the Building

 

Best Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show: Star Wars: Andor

 

Best Comic Book Adaptation: Harley Quinn

 

Best Period Show: The Great

 

Best Animated Show: Harley Quinn

 

Best Reality Show: Selena + Chef

 

Best Remake, Reboot, or (non-comic book) Adaptation: Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-Head

 

Best Miniseries: Flieshman Is in Trouble

 

Best Talk Show: Pardon the Interruption

 

Best New Show: Extraordinary

  

Guiltiest Guilty Pleasure: The Watchful Eye

 

Worst Show I Made Though an Entire Season Of: Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin

 

Best Hour of TV: The Bullet or the Bear (The Great)

 

Best Half Hour of TV: I Know Who Did It (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Biggest Shocker: Peter falling through the ice (The Great)

 

Best Line: “Olimabel - It’s our ship name! The Charles is silent.”  (Oliver: Only Murders in the Building)

 

Worst Idea: Letting the guy who did an unnecessary gritty version of A Christmas Carol, to do another unnecessary gritty version of a Charles Dickens novel.  

 

Worst Moment: The reveal of “A” (Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin)

 

Biggest Disappointment: The Great kept killing off Nicholas Hoult

 

Best Musical Moment: Fork tha Police (Yellowjackets)

 

Best Karaoke: Angel in Flip-Flops (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Best New Title Sequence: House of the Dragon

 

Best GIF:

 

  

Best Character: Catherine the Great (The Great)

 

Best Recurring Character: Bunny Folger (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Best Guest Appearance: Sazz Pataki (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Best Cast Addition: Harper Spiller (The White Lotus)

 

Best Duo: Lucia and Mia (The White Lotus)

 

Best Trio:  Mabel Mora, Charles Hayden Savage, and Oliver Putnum (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Most Entertaining Male Reality “Star”:  Danny McCray (The Challenge)

 

Most Entertaining Female Reality “Star”:  Selena Gomez (Selena + Chef)

 

Most Annoying Reality:  Faysal (The Challenge)

 

Most Anticipated New Show of the Next Season: The Curse

 

Most Anticipated Reboot:  Justified: City Primeval

 

Show That Should Be Brought Back: Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies

 

Biggest Question for 2023-2024: When will the writer’s (and maybe actor’s) strike end?

 

The Twenty-Five Best Shows of 2022-23

1.  Only Murders in the Building

2.  The Great

3.  Tell Me Lies

4.  Extraordinary

5.  Star Wars: Andor

6.  Harley Quinn

7.  Ghosts

8.  The White Lotus

9.  Yellowjackets

10.  Ms. Marvel

11.  Single Drunk Female

12.  The Boys

13.  Mike Judge's Beavis and Butt-Head

14.  Abbott Elementary

15.  Wedding Season

16.  The Mandalorian

17.  The Last of Us

18.  The Capture

19.  Wreck

20.  Reboot

21.  She-Hulk: Attorney at Law

22.  The Head

23.  Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies

24.  History of the World, Part II

25.  House of the Dragon

To be eligible for this list, the show must have aired a majority of their season between July 2022 and June 2023.

The 13 Most Anticipated Events of 2023

 

The great Adam Duritz told us that it was a long December but there is reason to believe that this year will be better than last.  Here are thirteen reason why 2023 may actually be better than last year.

 

 

13.  Obligatory Superhero Mention:  It was a rough year for superheroes in 2022 and it looks like fatigue is finally settling in.  Marvel Phase 4 fizzled to an incoherent end.  It was even worse for DC which saw a Batgirl film get canned when it was almost finished filming and chaos ensued when the control given to James Gunn.  Henry Cavill was out as Superman days after it being announced he would return so Gunn could direct a Superman movie himself (that is some Big Dick Cheney Energy).  But as of now, DC will be releasing four zombie films tied to the last regime: Shazam! Fury of the Gods (March 7), The Flash (June 16), Blue Beetle (August 18), and Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, half of which star someone with a lot of bad press last year and it is unlikely anyone in these movies will be seen again in these roles.

 

12.  Marvel launches Phase 5 with Ant-Man: Quantumania (February 17) featuring the theatrical debut of Kang who was last seen in the season finale of Loki, though this Kang is a variant of that one.  Yeah, that was one of the problems with Phase 4, it started getting confusing.  That will be followed by Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 (May 5), which will likely be Gunn’s last contribution to Marvel (at least until he gets fired by DC), The Marvels (July 28), featuring one of the few bright spots of Phase 4: Ms. Marvel.  On the small screen, there will be new seasons of What If…? and Loki, spin-offs starring Echo and Agatha as well new show Secret Invasion (featuring Emilia Clarke’s MCU debut after unsuccessful stints in the terminator and Star Wars franchises)  and Ironheart.  Oh, and Sony is still trying to make their Spider-Man Cinematic Universe a thing and will release something called Kraven the Hunter (October 6).  Oof.  But at least they have Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (June 2), a sequel to the entertaining animated movie.

 

12.  The Drop (January 13, Hulu):   I am not sure if this is a mockup of The Slap, but I am just going to pretend it is.

 

11.  Orphan Black: Echoes (TBD, AMC):  Does we need more Orphan Black, especially without Tatiana Maslany?  And how exactly do you do this show without her if there are about a hundred people in this world who look like her?  Little is known about this show other than it stars Krysten Ritter, though we do not know how many Krysten Ritters there will be.

 

10.  Evil Dead Rises (April 21, theaters):  This is the second attempt to revive the Evil Dead franchise without Sam Rami writing or director or starring Bruce Campbell (both or producing).  This is the first one to take outside a cabin in the woods but instead the Book of the Dead will be found in the bowels of an apartment building.  Hopefully the change of scenery will add something to this film that the first reboot did not.  Unfortunately this is one of the films that Discovery took off the HBO Max schedule and put it in theaters.  So I guess I will have to wait an extra 45 days to watch.

 

9.  Community: Six Seasons and Finally the Movie (TBD, Peacock):  During the third season, Community was preempted for couple months to air The Cape.  In the show, Abed became obsessed with the show even declaring that it would run for six seasons and a movie, a phrase that became a rallying cry for the show’s fans as it was perpetually on the bubble.  Of course NBC canceled it one season shy.  Yet, somehow, Yahoo! Screen (almost a big footnote as The Cape) picked it up for that sixth season.  Then seven year after its six season, the show is finally getting a movie on Peacock. 

 

8.  Party Down (February 23, Starz):  Speaking of long gestating revivals of cult comedies, rumors of a Party Down movie date back over a decade but it is getting a full series return to the same network that axed it thirteen years ago.  Everyone from the second season is back except Lizzy Caplan (Chloe Zoe joins the cast to replace her) and as depressing their lives were when the original aired, I can only imagine how more depressing it will be this time.  My one hope for the revival is that, much like Rob Thomas’ last revival, he brings back Jason Doring (I believe he played a Young Republican in the first season) just to kill him off.  That would be hilarious.

 

7.  The Last of Us (January 15, HBO):  I never played the video game, but if the adaptation is half as good they say the game is, we will start off 2023 on a high note.

 

6.  The Curse (TBD, Showtime):  Emma Stone is quickly becoming the queen of weird television shows.  She recently appeared in the trippy Maniac and next up is this comedy which also stars Nathan Fielder (who is also set to direct) about a cursed house being renovated by an HGTV show.  Sounds wild.

 

5.  More Star Wars:  Not as rough as the superhero movies and shows, but quite an uneven year for Star Wars.  The Book of Boba Fett and Obi-Wan were not highly regarded and while Andor was one of the most critically acclaimed shows of the year, it was also, reportedly, the least watched live action Star Wars show yet.   Oh, and no The Mandalorian, though the titular character and his little green friend did pop up a couple times on The Book of Boba Fett.  Oh, and it is now three years since the last movie and still no official date for the next one.  But the little green savior will be back on the small screen this year (March 1).  The Asoka spin-off will also be this year as well as a new show Skeleton Crew from the guy behind the latest Spider-Man movies.  But the year will be kicked off by a second season of The Bad Batch (January 4).  A new season of Visions and new animated show Young Jedi Adventures are also expected early this year.

 

4.  Only Murders in the Building Season 3 (TBD, Hulu):  Shockingly, Paul Rudd showed up in season two finale.  Even more shocking, he died in his second season.  Even more shocking than that, the show then announce, despite just killing him off, Rudd would be joining the cast for season three setting up a Fundamentals of Caring reunion and a reunion of 5-timers club members.  I am guessing there will be copious amounts of flashbacks in season three, though evil twin brother cannot be ruled out in a show like this.

 

3.  Women’s World Cup (July 20, Fox):  You know it has been a bad World Cup when  journalist dies at a game and most people think the government had him killed because he dared to wear a rainbow shirt to a game.  The men’s world cup was an unmitigated disaster from all the migrant worker deaths, FIFA banning arm bands, and the government banning beer hours before kickoff and getting caught bussing in fans to cheer for their team.  The good thing about the women’s world cup is that most despots are too sexists to bid on them.   The field has been expanded 32 teams which has led to first time world cup appeared by the Philippines and Zambia in either men’s or women’s cups.  Two time defending champs America have to be the favorite going in, but after a three game losing streak last fall, it looks like European teams are starting to catch up.  Despite the games on the other side of the world in Australian and New Zealand, the first two games for the US are at 9:00 EST, though the third start at 3:00 in thr morning.

 

2.  Yellowjackets Season 2 (March 26, Showtime):  All hail our new Antler Queen Lottie Forking Mathews!!!  Unfortunately the PR people at Showtime ruined that both Lottie and Van will make it to present day with casting of their adult versions (Elijah Wood has also been cast as a Citizen Detective).  But despite that annoyance, I am extremely excited to see the teenagers dissolve into madness as winter quickly fell on the Canadian forest, and mostly fell on poor Jackie.

 

1. Justified: City Primeval (TBD, FX):  One of the five greatest shows of this century is getting a reboot.  While Raylan Givens does not actually appear in the Elmore Leonard book, they are fudging that for the show.  As of now it looks like Raylan will be the only one from the show to return, unless you count his daughter who will be played by Timothy Olyphant’s real life daughter. 

 

 

Here is everything else I will be watching this winter:

 

Mondays

8:00 – The Neighborhood (January 16, CBS)

10:00 – Quantum Leap (January 2, NBC)

10:30 – Miracle Workers: End Times (January 16, TBS)

 

Tuesdays

Leverage Redemption (already back, Freevee)

How I Met Your Father (January 24, Hulu)

Extraordinary (January 24, Hulu)

8:00 – Night Court (January 17, NBC)

9:00 – La Brea (January 31, NBC)

 

Wednesdays

The Bad Batch (January 4, Disney+)

Wu-Tang: An American Saga (February 15, Hulu)

The Mandalorian (March 1, Disney+)

8:00 – The Challenge (already back, MTV)

8:00 – Survivor (March 1, CBS)

8:30 – The Goldbergs (January 11, ABC)

9:00 – Abbott Elementary (January 4, ABC)

10:00 – Big Sky (January 4, ABC) 

10:00 – Grown’ish (January 18, Freeform)

 

Thursdays

8:30 – Ghosts (CBS, January 5, CBS)

 

Fridays

8:00 - Young Rock (January 6, NBC)

 

Sundays

8:00 – The Blacklist (Febuary 26, NBC)

9:00 – Mayfiar Witches (January 8, AMC)

9:00 – The Last of Us (January 15, HBO)

9:00 – Your Honor (January 15, Showtime)

9:00 – Yellowjackets (March 26, Showtime)