57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CLXI

Quote of the Week: Well Nick, throughout this competition, we all really have grown from Boyz II Men, we have shown the nation we’re not just Pussycats anymore, um, I’m just really proud we haven’t Ben Folding under the pressure and I just wish the judges would give us One More Night (Una Noche). (Josh, The Sing-Off)

Song of the Week: We're Not Gonna Take It – Twisted Sister (Glory Daze)

Big News of the Week: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 2011 Inductees Announced: Well this should make for an interesting end of concert jam session. Going into the Hall next year will be crooner Neil Diamond, shock rocker Alice Cooper, gravel voiced Tom Waits, jazzman Dr. John, and R&B sidekick Darlene Love. The only way it could have been more eclectic is if they would have finally inducted the Beastie Boys who got snubbed again this year.


The Sing-Off: There was a clear pecking order with the judges from the first episode: Jerry Lawson and the Talk of the Town and Committed at the top with Streetcorner Symphony and the Backbeats just behind. It was clear On the Rocks would get the boot first and I was interested on who the judges would actually kick off after there. And not so surprisingly they decided to send them all to the final. But did they have to tell Jerry last, it look like he was heartbroken, then about to have a heart attack. It is understandable no one went home because I do not have a problem with any of these acts winning. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from the show on iTunes. Here was my favorite performance of the past week:



How I Met Your Mother: Maybe cause I watched Inception and it dream within a dream, within a dream, within a dream just two days earlier, but the shows flashback within a flashback, within a flashback was more annoying that it usually when the show goes to it. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Glory Daze: What an anticlimactic ending. It is not surpising that the Jew couldn’t make it to the finish line, but when the brothers were content with it, I thought maybe they had one more prank up their sleeve, and then nothing. You can stream recent episodes over at TBS.com.

Survivor: Nicaragua: Really, these are the dumbest Survivors ever. First you have Chase with the worst poker face ever in the history of the world of bluff who tries to tell Jane that it is Dan going before breaking down and telling it is her. Then even everyone including the channeling of Jeff Probst’s mom think well why not have Jane join up with Fabio and Dan, those two doofuses were like, no, we have no problem being in the minority. Which is especially surprising for Dan who has absolutely no show at winning immunity, or he has been trying to get voted off since before the tribes got mixed. It’s as if no one wants to win this season. I feel bad for the people who actually tried to win this season like Marty, Alina, Jill, Kelly B, for having to watch these quitters and idiots get further in the game than them. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



The Big Bang Theory: I was ready to call this the best episode of the season until Raj uttered the line, “Scooter sucks, he’s the Aquaman of the muppet babies.” That hurts man. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.


New Album Release of the Week: All You Need Is Love – Duran Duran (iTunes only release; physical disk being released 2/11)

New DVD Release of the Week: Bob Ross: Joy of Painting - Barns Collection

Free Download of the Week: You’ll Never Find My Christmas – Bishop Allen (Target): If you have watched television in the past month you have undoubtedly seen the Target commercial with the absurdly catchy You’ll Never Find My Christmas tune. Well the store is giving away free downloads of that and thirteen other Christmas songs.

Deal of the Week: The Big Blu Ray Sale (The Dark Knight, Lord of the Rings, Life)

Video of the Week: Despite the old adage, I have long belived that you can judge a book by its cover. If the words inside are so good, how could someone not come up with a worthy cover? If there is a movie corollary, can a movie named after an Eddie Money song possibly be good? Well it is set in the eighties, so that will get me to check it out when it hit the Blu-Ray. Until then, here is the trailer for Take Me Home Tonight.



Next Week Pick of the Week: The Sing-Off, Monday at 8:00: Ben Folds and the dude from Boyz II Men have done all they could and now it is up to us to crown the new Sing-Off champs. But before that is announced the groups get to perform with Neil Diamond, Sheryl Crow, Boyz II Men, and Sara Bareilles. After the finale, NBC will be giving a sneak peak of Perfect Couples, and as much as I enjoy having even more Olivia Munn on my television screen, I can’t imagine this being very good by the look of the promos.

Around the Tubes vol. LXXVIII

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Survivor, Out of England 2, Funny or Die Presents, Karmaloop, Sanctuary, Chiller, World's Biggest Cave, In the Time of Jesus, and new shows from Showtime.

- Fancast.com has started up their Survivor Hall of Fame which was chosen by fifty percent by fans and the other fifty percent by “an Executive Voting Committee” that included Jeff Probst and the Survivor Press Team (of which I wasn’t asked to be a part of, not that I am bitter) and the inaugural inductee is Parvati Shallow. Head over to the site to read an interview with the inductee.

- Ricky Gervais is returning to HBO tomorrow at 10:00 for another stand up special Out of England 2 taped live at the Chicago Theater. In other HBO news, Funny or Die Presents will get its second season premiere January 14 at midnight.

- Hip Hop heads will want to head over Karmaloop where they can enter to win $250 gift certificate and a signed Sheek Louch album with a new winner everyday.

- Tonight is the midseason finale of Sanctuary on Syfy. Here is a sneak peak:



- Before Sanctuary at 8:00, Syfy will be counting down the thirteen scariest movie moments of the past decade with Chiller starting at 8:00 with commentary from Kyle Massey (Dancing With The Stars finalist), renowned special makeup effects supervisor Greg Nicotero (The Walking Dead), comedians Dan Gurewitch & David Young (collegehumor.com), actress Betsy Russell (the Saw anthology), writer Steve Niles (30 Days of Night), actor Tony Todd (Final Destination) and horror film director Lucky McKee (May), among others.

- Two new specials are coming to the National Geographic Channel next week. On Monday, scientist try to determine if a new discovered cave is the World’s Biggest Cave starting at 10:00 and what secrets hide in the Son Doong cave. Then on Tuesday is three hours of In the Time of Jesus with Making a Living at 8:00, Healing the Sick just after that, and Crime and Punishment at 10:00. Check out a preview below:

Jesus the Stone Mason



- Showtime had a bunch of news items this week. Mandy Patinkin is returning to the channel (no, not for a Dead Like Me reunion) for Dreamland, a drama with Claire Danes about a CIA agent and her mentor. Shooting begins next month. Don Cheadle will also be getting a show. House of Lies is a half hour comedy based on the book House of Lies: How Management Consultants Steal Your Watch and Tell You the Time by Martin Kihn. Production is set to start in February. Paul Provensa also saw the renewl of his The Green Room and Ray Romano and Judd Apatow have signed on to appear on the second season which will premiere sometime in 2010. And for those of you that do not subscribe to the premium channel, mark your 2011 calendar for January 7 when Showtime is giving a free weekend preview.

Lyrics Quiz: Best of 2010

As for the lyrics quiz, as always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section or e-mail me. If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them. There is also a bonus lyricsthat was found on a mixtape where I will also need the person who spit that lyric. Now onto the last lyric quiz of the year:


1. I’d look psychotic in a balaclava. Winter’s cold, it’s too much to handle. Pincher crabs that pinch at your sandals.
2. Ain’t that Mr. Mister on the radio? (Hey, Soul Sister - Train; guessed by Anonymous)
3. The soldier is bailing out and curled his lips on the bar and I don’t know if the dead can talk to anyone.
4. Tell me why the grass was greener years ago I swear it used to grow here, but no more here. Tell me why on this hill all the birds that used to come to fly here come to die here.
5. You are the thunder and I am the lightning. And I love the way you know who you are and to me it’s exciting. (Naturally - Selena Gomez and the Scene; guessed by Canadian Boy)
6. You’re the color of the night, that's right. Color of a fight, you move me. You’re the color of the colored part of The Wizard of Oz movie.
7. I said I wouldn’t call but I’m a little drunk. (Need You Now - Lady Antebellum; guessed by Canadian Boy)
8. I got 99 problems and they all (expletive deleted). I wish I was Jigga man: carefree living. (Soundtrack 2 My Life - Kid Cudi; guessed by Rose)
9. I’m freaking out to where am I now: Upside down and I can’t stop it now. Can’t stop me now.
10. We’ll imagine we’re sleeping revolvers. Shotgun wedding in a strange SoHo. Our chambers hold silvery collars; gun down werewolves wherever we go.
11. I’ll just read a book instead. I don’t care if we’re just friends. I can hang out by myself. I’m old enough pretend.
12. After all of this is gone, who would you rather be, The Beatles or the Rolling Stones?
13. Take my badge but my heart remains loving you, baby child.
14. Let's be honest, that last Relapse CD was eh. Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground. (Not Afraid - Eminem; guessed by Rose)
15. Your life doesn’t change by the man’s that’s elected. If you’re loved by someone you’re never rejected decide what to be and go be it.
16. Soon the world will see our graffiti love. Spray paint on my glove, they’ll wonder who you are.
17. What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you? What am I supposed to say when I’m all chocked up and you’re okay? I’m falling to pieces. (Breakeven - The Script; guessed by Anonymous)
18. I probably need to go ahead and have my head exam. Look how they got me on the Def Jam payment plan. (Dear God 2.0 - The Roots featuring Monsters of Folk)
19. Oh, Oh, I want some more. Oh, Oh, what are you waiting for? Take a bite of my heart tonight.
20. (Expletive deleted) in plastic cups before we went on stage. Playing hackeysack back when Audioslave was still Rage. (Memories - Weezer; guessed by Anonymous)
21. You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps. You got the talking down, just not the listening.
22. Don’t put your money where your mouth is, baby. We don’t want to see you choke. Nobody’s choking around her anymore. Nobody’s broken any high score.
23. But it was not your fault but mine. And it was your heart on the line. I really (expletive deleted) it up this time, didn’t I my dear. (Little Lion Man - Mumford and Sons; guessed by Anonymous)
24. I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her. I’m right over here, why can’t you see me. I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home. (Dancing On My Own - Robyn; guessed by Canadian Boy)
25. What a lovely day, yeah, we won the war. May have lost a million men, but we got a million more.
26. Let’s have a toast for the douchebags. Let’s have a toast for the (expletive deleted). Let’s have a toast for the scumbags, every one of them that I know. (Runaway - Kanye West; guessed by Rose)
27. He’s an X-box and I’m more Atari. But the way you play your games aren’t fair. ((Expletive Deleted) You - Cee-Lo Green; guessed by Rose)
28. Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father. Run for your children, for your sisters and your brothers. (Dog Days Are Over - Florence + the Machine; guessed by Rose)
29. The cool is dead, baby, go on and sleep. Rest your weary head and love a better me.
30. I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t. So if the chain is on your door, I understand. (Back to December - Speak Now - Taylor Swift; guessed by Canadian Boy)


Bonus: To be continued, we on that Norman Mailer (expletive deleted). In search of the truth, even if it goes through Taylor Swift. (Power (Remix) - Kanye West featuring Jay-Z; guessed by Bryan)

Previewing The Peacemaker: L.A. Gang Wars

Ice-T is the original O.G., or dare I say, the O.O.G.. He went from singing Cop Killer to playing one for over a decade. Then in his spare time he films reality shows like Ice-T presents Rap School (which really needs another season). He returns to reality television Thursday at 10:00 on A&E as producer of The Peacemaker: L.A. Gangs. Ice-T isn’t the titular character, or even shows up in front of the camera, but contributed the theme song (not the obvious Colors, but a new song) and serves as the executive producer).

Instead of Ice-T, The Peacemaker follows gang mediator Malik Spellman who is on a mission to bring peace to the neighborhood he has called home for over three decades, a vow he made after getting out of prison himself. Armed with only words, Malik tries to get mediate peace between various gangs in Los Angeles. In the first episode, after the murder of a pregnant woman, Malik gets in-between two neighboring Crips gangs to avoid retaliation and escalation and it is a race against time as Malik tries to get the gang heads face to face before that happens.

The tension in the show is real and you can cut it with a knife through your television screen. You know the situation is getting bad when Spellman puts on his bulletproof vest as soon as he steps out his car before going into a gang members territory. And the story hits an emotional high when someone else, who we met moments earlier, gets shot in the first episode before Spellman can even get the two gangs in the same vicinity. The Peacemaker: L.A. Gangs may be the more real reality show currently on television.

Also in the first season Spellman attempts to mediate a truce between opposing gangs that are run by brothers from the same biological family. And in Imperial Courts, the largest housing project west of the Mississippi, Spellman works to calm tensions after gunplay erupts over a game of dice.

The Peacemaker: L.A. Gang Wars airs Thursdays at 10:00 on A&E. Check out a preview of the show below:

I Want My Music Television vol. XCVII

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Kush – Dr Dre featuring Snoop Dogg and Akon



Much like when we got our first listen to Chinese Democracy, it is hard not hear this song and think, we waited a whole decade for this? And why did Dr. Dre taint one of songs with Akon and auto-tune? Dre sets trends, he doesn’t follow them. Granted had this been released in 2002 without Akon, I would have loved this.


Hold My Hand - Michael Jackson with Akon



Speaking of Akon ruining songs, this happened. Not that it would have been much better without him. Count me with the Jackson family in saying they should have kept Michael Jackson’s unfinished work in the vault.


Pyro – Kings of Leon



This may be the lamest slo-mo fight ever in the history of slow motion. I do not what Kings of Leon is trying to say with this video, but I do not care enough to study it more than the one viewing.


Boots - The Killers



And now some holiday cheer courtesy of The Killers. Actually I am not sure if I am uplifted or depressed for have seen this.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CLX

The Walking Dead: Finally the grenade gets reintroduced, but that was the first time in the history of grenades where I was someone go with the “pull and drop” method of detonation as opposed to more traditional “pull and throw” technique. And the herd gets thinned even more with the black chick deciding to stay. Was she related to the black dude? I do not remember them mentioning any type of relationship before, but he said a term of endearment before leaving. If they were, he seemed more than eager to leave her behind. And now that they are out, where to now? It can’t be safe to go back to their old camp, they can’t make too far with the little amount of gas they must have left. Is the old folks home too obvious? Should make for an interesting second season. Hopefully it moves faster than the first. You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: How an episode with so many great one-liner (eye broccoli, the Mermaid theory) feel so bland. All three storylines fell flat to the point of I don’t even want to bother rank them because that would mean having to relive the episode. Yawn. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Glory Daze: You really cannot go wrong by bringing in Carl Winslow for a guest stint, but throw in Booger, Dexter’s Dad, the mayor from Spin City and DL Hughley playing the father of a white dude and you have an awesome hour of television. I hope they have Father’s weekend one a month at this college. You can stream recent episodes over at TBS.com.

Survivor: Nicaragua: Just when you think this season cannot get any more disappointing, they announced we still have two more episodes to sit through. I would have guessed we were down to the final by now. I guess this season just feels longer. I can’t pontificate on any more on this episode, because I do not care enough to think more about it. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Modern Family: Odd, no Thanksgiving or Christmas episode this year when last years were some of their best episode. Seriously, bring back a drunken Shelly Long and that episode writes its self and would definitely have been better than this episode. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



The Challenge: Cutthroat: The Challenge isn’t one of those show that you really remember once the season ends, so this may be a little hyperbole, but CT carrying Johnny Bananas like a backpack, them slamming him into the barrel when he could have easily just kicked it over was the greatest moment ever in the history of The Challenge. Unfortunately they only made Tyler go the seventeen seconds it took CT to waltz Johnny over to the barrel, if you are going to fly CT all the way to Romania, let him through another contestant into a barrel. You can stream recent episodes on MTV.com. You can also download The Challenge: Cutthroat on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I am still over Blossom. It is time to get her off the show. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.

Community: I guess this episode was entertaining as a Christmas special, but like the Christmas stop motion specials it was paying tribute to, it is not very good compared to non-holiday fair. And they should have brought in an actual songwriter to write the songs because the ones in the episodes sounded like they were written by television writer. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.