57 Channels and Only This Is On: June 26,2022

 

The Time Traveler’s Wife:  So we are supposed to believe there are five fetuses just stuck in time somewhere?  Gross.  Plus it does not make any sense.  Henry did not manifest his powers until he experienced a traumatic experience when he was about ten, but these fetuses could do it before they are even fully formed.  Huh?  And Ygritte plan is to just fork younger Henry’s until one stick just seems just as dumb. 

 

The First Lady:  So the show ends with Eleanor losing her husband and getting a new job, Betty opening up a rehab facility and Michelle, well Michelle is dealing with a douchebag moving into her house.  I said it before, but way too soon to include Michelle on this show.  But it turns out that Eleanor ignores her children so much to the point I was surmised when the only child we saw said she had six.  We rarely saw any Ford children besides Susan, but they did show up.

 

The Man Who Fell to Earth:   Oh yeah, I remember those nun from the episode where the FBI guy birth the cow.  I do not remember why he went there, chasing the alien, I guess.  I know we are supposed to think the FBI guy is evil, but shooting a nun in the back was a little too cold.  And that nun bleeding in the shape of angel wings was a bit much.

 

I Love That for You:  They got me with Joanna admitting she was lying only to be revealed that they cut the feed.  But I was correct that they were going to keep the ruse even if they found out she was lying.  But no way are they going to let her leave for HSN because they could just extort her to stay.  I would also like to say, great INXS deep cut.  They are considered an eighties band, but they did have some great music they put out in the following decade.  I will stand by Welcome to Wherever You Are. 

 

In the Dark:  They said it was an hour to the cabin, but was the sister lawyer really able to get the case files about the queenpin, make it to the prison, get though the visitation hurdle, convince the queenpin not to kill her brother, and then have the queenpin get in contact with her henchmen in time?  That is just a completely absurd jump of logic.

 

Motherland: Fort Salem:  Ooops, I forgot to search for a recap on YouTube before watching the new season, that Previously On was not nearly enough information.

 

The Challenge: All Stars: Ugg, I really hate when they leave the episode on a cliffhanger.  I was going to say especially since there was obviously not going to be a women’s elimination since Veronica broke her toe while walking down the steps (?) but the next time on has KellyAnne and Kahlah with helmets on while holding on the stick.  T.J. can be very trollish, but would he really wait until he is just about to blow the whistle before saying, just kidding, you are both safe?  Sure, I would find that hilarious, just do not make us wait a week to see it.

 

Obi Wan Kenobi:  My two favorite lines in the episode, if not the entire series, were, "This ends today." I had a good laugh at that. No it doesn't. I am not one to whine about stakes, but that was just a trollish line from the writers. The other was, "Goodbye Darth." So Obi Wan is just on a first name basis with an evil sith lord already. Okay.  But the Third Sister just turned out to be completely useless and made little sense and was just one of way too many people this season who were inexplicably defeated but for some reason were not finished off.  After this and Boba Fett, hopefully Andor puts the Star Wars universe back on track.

 

Ms. Marvel:  Brown Jovi was great, but why do you not have them play Livin’ on a Prayer during the fight sequence?  Why not have Brown Jovi soundtrack the whole series?

The Old Man:  Just by seeing her in the cast list, I assumed Maeby was the daughter before seeing she was in the CIA.  Thankfully they did not wait that long to make that reveal.  I am also glad that they confirmed fairly quickly that the Old Man stole the Warlord's wife because that was my first thought as to why the warlord wants the Old Man.  Now I just need for them to reveal why the Warlord waited 30 years to seek his revenge and why the CIA is helping.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: June 19, 2022

 

The First Lady:  So the show ends with Eleanor losing her husband and getting a new job, Betty opening up a rehab facility and Michelle, well Michelle is dealing with a douchebag moving into her house.  I said it before, but way too soon to include Michelle on this show.  But it turns out that Eleanor ignores her children so much to the point I was surmised when the only child we saw said she had six.  We rarely saw any Ford children besides Susan, but they did show up.

 

The Man Who Fell to Earth:   There is home security and then is biological weapons than make someone’s head explode.  I think I have to concede that Newton is still alive after that plot, yet something still seems off with his conversations with Faraday.  I just get strong Kal-El talking to his dead parents in the Fortress of Solitude vibes from those scenes.  But then we get the explosive reveal at the end that Newton’s plan is to bring his people to Earth.  So what becomes of the humans?  Just how many of his people are left?  Will Faraday even go along with this?

 

I Love That for You:  Okay, I laughed so hard when Ryan Philippe came in at the end.  We were told he was a gust at the telethon, but I certainly was not expecting him to show up as the only to have an audio response to Joanne admitting she was not actually sick. I have predicted that Patricia would still want to profit off of the fake sickness if she ever found out, but now that Ryan knows, can she still keep up the ruse?

 

In the Dark:  So Murphy is out already… with the drug lord drugs with her.  Oops.  So that is why Darnell get shot?

 

The Challenge: All Stars: There have been dumb answers throughout the years in trivia, but “Lance Armstrong” being the first person on the moon is up there as the dumbest ever.  But it was nice to see The Treehouse go from the majority to the minority in two short weeks.  No confirmation from TJ, but will be actually have the final start next week without the Sabotage anymore?  Based on the episode count, seems like there will be one more elimination.  Maybe the mercenaries is why we no longer have a sabotage.

 

Obi Wan Kenobi:  If the Third Sister was really hunting Darth Vader this whole time to get revenge for her fellow younglings, why has she not done it already?  I am pretty sure she was alone with him an episode or two ago.  But anyway.  Gotta love any plan that hinges on a ten year old understand advanced electronics.  Why exactly did they build that place so small no normal human person could fit into it?

 

Ms. Marvel:  Illumin-aunties may have been the greatest nickname ever.  So the new dude is evil (calling him your cousin is a weird way to hide your crush’s identity)?  Never trust a dude who recreates Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.  Though his mom might be the real Big Bad.

 

Players:  I really enjoyed American Vandal and only gave this show a try because it was by the same people.  I am not sure it is because I know nothing about e-sports or the key of the other show was potty humor and this show lacks it, but, man, this show I boring.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: June 12, 2022

 

The Time Traveler’s Wife:  Wait, so the time traveler is dating Ygritte and the blonde at the same time?  I do wonder at what point do they just have an orgy with multiple versions of the time traveler.  If dude is willing to soak his own deck, you have to imagine he would be down for that.

 

Fear the Walking Dead:  We learned before the last break that Madison was coming back but did they really have to wait until the very last episode and an episode after Alivia (seemingly) died?  For a second, I thought the zombiefied version of the mother kind of looked like Alicia, I wonder if that was intentional.  But I am really having trouble believing someone who needs oxygen could survive a zombie apocalypse very long.  No way Madison is aking it long enough after the mother destroyed her tank.

 

The First Lady:  I am glad they finally got Betty out of the White House because she probably as the most active post-White House life of any First Lady other than Hilary Clinton.  Actually they could have gotten her out sooner because two and a half episodes do not seem like enough.

 

The Man Who Fell to Earth:  I have had an issue with tone while watching this show; it just seems all over the place.  But this was the first episode that actually felt cohesive.  I liked the devise of the alien talking to his wife.  The show may have been better off if had just been him telling his story on Earth to his wife.  But they found the original alien?  Living unground in a mountain in Cambodia?  Alrighty.  I have questioned if he was actually still alive or not and… and I still am questioning if that is really him.

 

I Love That for You:  Oh my, I was not expecting that good ol’ southern boy to be having sex with a woman.  But now that Beth Ann is on to Joanna, thinking she is dating her father who is pretending to be her doctor, I wonder how long until she figures out the entire ruse. Oh, and I really hope clip on bangs are not a real thing. 

 

Irma Vep:  I liked this show when Alicia Vikander was on screen, but really disliked it whenever the Fresh director was on screen.  Hopefully he gets fired from the film.

 

In the Dark:  Ugg, they are doing the stupid, three months earlier trope.  Let me guess, the blind chick gets released early for turning on the queenpin and the bald chick shoos her buddy.  But why is she not telling the guard that someone put a razor in her sandwich?

 

The Challenge: All Stars: Good riddance to treehouse.  Is Sylvia really that horrible of a person or is she trying way too hard to be part of a possible rivals season?  I just cringed at her completely unnecessary hate towards Kellyanne.

 

The Real World Homecoming: New Orleans:  This show just cannot get through a whole season without someone leaving.  Though they seem to be having a harder time getting casts back together if they had to jump from season two to nine.  Next up would be Back to New York, but I am guessing you are not getting The Miz to take two weeks off.  Rumors they may have to jump to Austin (season 16) or Key West (17).  My suggestion is go back to the start and get as many from San Francisco and as many from London and just combine seasons if you cannot get a full cast to show up.  Or maybe it is time to try Road Rules Homecoming.  Who would not want to see a bunch of forty and fifty ear olds spend a week or two in a Winnebago?  I was kind of hoping someone from Road Rules would show up and steal their robotic dog again.  Oh well.

 

Obi Wan Kenobi:  Why knock out the Stormtrooper and drag them into an empty room if you are not going to steal their armor? A disguise would have made things a bit easier. But I guess you cannot hide Leia in the suit.  Then Boba's lay down Bacta Tank seems like a much better alternative than having to be suspended like Darth and Obi-Wan were. But nothing gets me more than the lighting up a lightsaber in a dark room. Chills every time.

 

Ms. Marvel:  Well, that was a delight.  It has been a while since I laughed as hard as I did when the dad walking in in his Hulk costume.  For a second, I thought the show was just going to straight up murder a teenage girl with Thor’s hammer.  Hopefully the show does not get ruined by Ms. Marvel actually getting powers.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: June 5, 2022

 

The Time Traveler’s Wife:  Oh wow, an episode of The time traveler’s Wife that is about, you know, the time traveler’s wife.  Though I am not sure if Ygritte could actually pull off a teenager.

 

Fear the Walking Dead:  So Alicia is dead?  My big take away from her “waking up” was that she actually looks healthy… she must be dead.  But I am guessing they left it vague in case this is a Maggie situation where the actress wanted to leave only to realize there is not much work out there andcomes back to the show.

 

The First Lady:  I routinely ask about the accuracy of small details in this shows based on real people, but the thought that three Secret Service  pulled Sasha out of class solely because of a school shooting a couple states away seems fairly absurd.  Then I forgot that Judy Greer was on this show.  She seemed like she was going to be an important part of the Betty Ford storyline but just seemed to disappear.  But it was nice to see that Gerald was a good sport on SNL unlike Cheney and Rumsfeld.  I wonder what Dick thought of the movie made about him.

 

The Man Who Fell to Earth:  Yeah, it became obviously fairly quickly that the lady no one else saw was not really there.  But where exactly did she come from?  Did the other alien conjure her like he just show up to him from tome to time?

 

I Love That for You:  I mentioned how Patricia and Joanna would see different types of doctors to treat their types of cancer.  Unfortunately for Joanna, that did not stop Patricia from asking to talk to her doctor.  It was really rough of Joanna to ask her dad to pretend to be her doctor.

 

Obi Wan Kenobi:  Ooo, Vader vs. Kenobi… that almost made me forget that the Inquisitor somehow beat Leia to the end of the tunnel despite Leia having a decent head start the Inquisitor not really knowing where the tunnel ended.  Almost.

 

The Challenge: All Stars:  Stupid “This Season On…”  We saw Wes complain about Johnny being brought in as a mercenary so as soon as he got selected, it was obvious whoever he went up against was going to lose.  And that was one of the dumbest eliminations ever.  All they had to do is stand between the things, like Beth and Wes did, and had everyone been smart, could have been up there forever.

 

The Real World Homecoming: New Orleans:  Is there really going to be someone who goes home right before they were going to leave anyway for the second straight season?  But how disappointing that they did not put C’mon Me My Baby Tonight on Spotify.

 

Under the Banner of Heaven:  I did not realize this was going to be the finale.  And at 90 minutes, they really could have just split the last episode into two 45 minute episode.  Though, with every episode over an hour, they really could have just done ten 50 minute episodes instead.  Or just done away with the cop and his family life and made the Lafferty’s the main characters.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: May 29, 2022

 

The Time Traveler’s Wife:  There are fewer things I need to see in this life than seeing a dude perform oral sex on himself.

 

Fear the Walking Dead:  So Strand is a good guy all of the sudden, ready to make peace just by seeing Alicia?  But then is a band guy at the end when he refused to turn off the beacon?  Make up your mind.  Even more bizarre was they just yadda-yaddaed Wes escaping a horde of zombies stuck in the bunker only to just have Strand murder him moments later.

 

The First Lady:  They seem to be hinting at lesbian all season and they just came out and explicitly showed it this week.  And yes, a Wikipedia deep dive did reveal a female reporter did move into the room next door and there were rumors a plenty.  Lesbians took front and center in Michelle’s storyline where they openly implied Michelle was behind Biden’s statement which seems like a bigger stretch.  Then in the seventies, Betty was planning Susan’s prom.  Okay, she also campaigned for the ERA.  I laughed when they mentioned Regan was courting the far right but campaigning against it.  Today’s far right would consider Regan a RINO.  And probably would think he eats babies.

 

I Love That for You:  I predicted that if (when) Patricia finds out Joanna is lying about her cancer, she would continue to milk it for ratings, but Patricia actually being diagnosed with breast cancer is making me rethink that.  Things may get rough for Joanna if Patricia starts asking for help.  Luckily for her, I believe they would be seeing different types of doctors.

 

The Challenge: All Stars: How does Darrell lose that?  He was inches away but just could not get that final push. But what was really annoying is how Wes weaseled his way out of elimination for the second straight elimination that he definitely would have lost mostly because Brad was in a position of power.

 

Survivor:  Oh no, Probst said that stupid Do or Die twist was one of his favorite new twists.  They were lucky that both times they did it; the person did not die.  But the proposition of someone eventually “dying” is bad because it would be extremely lame if there is a Tribal Council where no one actually gets voted out.  Speaking of useless new twists, the Shot in the Dark was a huge dud.  They had a one in six chance and I believe it was played six times, but not one person got lucky.  Then the Turn Back Time twist got crushed by fans and players alike.  I think the only new twist introduced in “new” Survivor was the Caught Red Handed twist which was extremely literal.  I fear what dumb twists are coming next.  But it looks like they are actually casting disabled people again.  Survivor has talked a lot about diversity, even instituting a 50% people of color casting mandate, but disabled people are severely underrepresented.  There was a time where there was a deaf woman and two amputees, but then there was a large lull.  The amputee next season is reportedly a Paralympian so she will not be a pushover.

 

Oh, yeah, and Maryanne won.  She did give a much better Final Tribal performance and had the last big move of the season getting Omar out.  Though I still think Mike had a much better season as a whole.  But it was a blowout, much like every season has become a blowout ever since they switched to this forum Final Tribal format.  Maybe it is time to go back to the Q&A format just to get some more drama back into the final reveal.

 

The Flight Attendant: Rosie Perez getting on a flight for an airline she used to work for while being a wanted fugitive seemed like a really bad idea and Suspicious Minds seems like a horrible song to play at a wedding (though, I will say that is my favorite Elvis song) but after a sophomore slump, the finale was... perfectly fine.

 

I predicted Cheryl Hines was the doppelganger after the second episode because Grace became too obvious and Hines being the big bad did make sense (though, I do not understand what that thing in Cassie's pocket was that made the alarm go off).

 

I am glad the weird AA woman was not the big bad but turned out to be someone important to the story in a different way, though maybe a reveal that should have been in the penultimate episode.  Despite the sophomore slump, I am still looking forward to a potential third season.

 

Obi Wan Kenobi:  That was nice they put up a four minute “previously on” reminding us what happening episodes 1-3.  You know, if you cut the prequels down to four minutes, they are not half bad.  I thought maybe starting with Order 66; we were going to see how Grogu escaped the massacre.  But we did get a few surprise appearance, most notably a young Princess Leia.  Oh, and Flea.  I am sure I can nit-pick, but I really enjoyed this even if the prequels in full lengths were bad.

 

The Blacklist:  So no Aram or Park next season?  Will we be getting new agents?  But it looks like we already got a new Big bad as Marvin turned that assassin against Red and left him with a list of people Red informed on.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: May 22, 2022

 

The Time Traveler’s Wife:  I remember watching the movie based on the same book, but I do not remember the movie being as bad as the show is.  I do remember the time traveler seeing his wife as a child, but I do not remember those scenes being that creepy.  HBO is known for its quality and it is quite surprising just how much this feels like a lifetime show.

 

Fear the Walking Dead:  So their big plan is to lead the zombies into the underground shelter and escape the same way Alicia did even though Alicia got trapped and bite going out that way.   Does no one want to take five seconds to realize why that was a bad idea?  Wes got caught in the bunker with all the zombies, yet shows up in the trailer for next week.  Sigh.

 

The First Lady:  Ha, Eleanor has a women reporter only press conference.  I honestly would not have guessed there were that many female reporters that long ago.  I have found the Michelle segments to be the least interesting, but snarky and fun Michele does make her segments much more entertaining.

 

The Man Who Fell to Earth:  I really did not need to see a cow being birthed.  The bee lady may have been more disturbing.  But we finally got all of the main player in the same place at the same time.  I did not see the Justin twist where she brutally killed a man, and the father of her child. 

 

I Love That for You:  Who knew you could buy condoms in bulk?  I mean, I did, but I am guessing most other people had no clue.  I am surprised that guy was not in a 90’s cover band considering they made such a deal out of the two loving the decade in the first episode.

 

The Challenge: All Stars: It does look like if you beat someone with multiple stars, you get all of them.  Maybe MJ should not be too mad at Kendall since he now has both of Cyrus’s stars.  Kendal got lucky that not one but two women left before elimination so for the second straight week no women’s elimination.  But no one gets Tina’s stars who was gifted a star from Melina without doing anything.  To make the gender’s equal, do they simply bring back Cynthia or will we get someone new?  Cyrus recently held a premiere party and I spied Laurel and someone we have not seen on television in a very long time: Tara from Northern Trail.

 

Survivor: Poor Omar, Drea just really blew up his game by outing him as the mastermind to his demise.  But will Maryanne follow him after being the mastermind to his demise?  She does have an Idol in her pocket and so does Mike so unless something goes horribly wrong, they are in the final four so they are guaranteed to at least make fire.  Johnathan has to win at five or he has no chance and if not him, Lindsay.  I have to image, which between Mike and Maryanne make it to Final Tribal will win, will be interesting who wins if both are there.  If Johnathan or Lindsey wins Immunity than fire, they might even have a chance.  Romeo is obvious a no vote getter.

 

Though Lindsey made a very fatal flaw in saying she should not play her Idol because it may go back into the game.  While played Idols do go back in play, why would she think an Idol that expires that week would go back into the game?  It would have been very interesting had she played that Idol for Omar.  That would have meant a 2-2 tie between Romeo and Johnathan.  That would mean Maryanne would have been able to cast the deciding vote in the revote assuming everyone else voted the same way.

 

The Flight Attendant: After the first episode, I was convinced Grace was the doppelganger.  After the second episode, it was so obvious that she was the doppelganger I assumed she had to be a red herring.  Then she just kind of disappeared after the third episode until she popped as the doppelganger.  And then killed herself because… um, I am not entirely sure what she rambled on about.  But apparently there is someone out there that was pulling her strings.  I guess it has to be the annoying chick from AA.

 

Under the Banner of Heaven:  Yeah, never trust a dude who wants to marry your teenaged children.  So where did those children go?

 

Made for Love:  Didn’t they say last week if they did not rescue real Hazel, she would disappear soon?  So why is Byron there six months later? 

 

Halo:  I did not realize until I listened to a podcast that John died.  So when Cortana took over she took over for good?  Then Makee is also dead I guess.  Will both show up in the Halo at some point?  And what happened to Soron?  I thought that was him flying the ship to rescue the other Spartans but apparently no one was flying that.  Okay.

 

Big Sky:  Jenny really set Travis free to find the chick Veer killed?  C’mon.  Of course she is dead.  But I am guessing the writers will probably have her sold off to the sex ring syndicate just to tie everything together.  But I guess that means the syndicate and the other Indian drug lords will be sticking around.  And just how did the son kill his father without anyone notice?  Don’t nurses rush in whenever someone flat lines?  But dude just stands there and gloats and then walks out of the hospital.  Such dumb writing.  I bet new sheriff will be owned by the sexy ring syndicate.  He kind of looks like Don-o’s more put together brother.

 

The Blacklist:  Way to spoil the show with the episode title: Marvin Gerard: Conclusion Part 1.  So you spoil that they will get Marvin but also spoil it will not be done this episode because you have to assume Part 2 is coming next week.  So when Red gets him at the airport, obvious he was going to escape.  

Previewing I Love That for You

 

The truth is stranger than fiction.  And whenever fiction thinks it has come up with something they think is stranger, the truth comes through and proves it still is the strangest.  Case in point, when Showtime ordered I Love That for You, a story about someone who lies about their cancer diagnosis to get a job, they probably thought it was some farfetched comedy premise.  But about a month before the show premiered, new broke that a writer on Grey’s Anatomy lied about having cancer and having an abortion.  The truth remains undefeated in its weirdness.

 

I Love That for You stars Vanessa Bayer whose own childhood leukemia inspired the show (it is unknown if Breyer liked about still having cancer to get on Saturday Night Live or if Bayer as a child guilted nurses into giving her cake like her character in flashbacks does).  But instead of SNL, her character’s dream is to be a host on the Special Value Network, basically a fictional Home Shopping Network.  Fellow SNL alum Molly Shannon plays her mentor.

 

Jenifer Lewis, fresh off the series finale of Black’ish plays the CEO of SVN and anyone who watched her former shows knows she can easily deliver great one liner with her sharp tongue and steals every scene she is in.  The other notable part of the show is Bayer’s love of nineties music, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz, and The Cranberries are all featured in the first episode.  Though the only reference in the second episode is that someone wears a Tribe Called Quest shirt.

 

I Love That for You airs Sundays at 8L30 on Showtime, but episodes are uploaded the Friday before each televised episode On Demand and streaming.