57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/18/12

Once Upon a Time: Did they really rip off that unwatchable Amanda Seyfried movie for Little Red Riding Hood’s back-story? That really isn’t rhetorical because I have pretty much blocked the entire movie out of my mind except the sight of Amanda in the Red costume. But I vaguely remembering that they wanted you to think that it was her boyfriend, but it turned out being her family that is cursed.

I was a bit surprised that the wolf did not turn out to be the Doctor. When he showed up early in the episode I figured it would turn out to be him. But I am really getting sick of this Katherine search plot. Just show us that the Evil Queen has her locked up in the dungeon with Belle soon and get it over with.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: It looks like Lip’s nursery is going to be bigger in a couple months. But I wonder if he will get Ian to pretend to be the father for him?

The Walking Dead: You know all those annoying videos that seem to pop up every month or so that shows every time in movies where things happen over again and again like how no one has cell service or characters that tell you what doesn’t kill you make you stronger? I wonder how long until the “Smashing Your Own Face to Set Someone Up” will get made. Just this season we have seen Shane do it and the Rent Boy on Revenge (and I just finished up the first season of Boardwalk Empire which also saw someone do it back in the prohibition days). I guess it is to show us that the character is unhinged; because they could Shane could have easily said he escaped and saved the broken nose. But I did like the zombie Woodstock shot that ended the episode.
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have had a long standing belief that A is Alison back from the dead, the problem is that there has not been a hint of the supernatural elsewhere on the show until the creepy doll kid. Except he turned out to be a plant by A. Oh well, one week and we will no for sure. And could we finally be done with the Aria / Ezra creepfest? The storyline has been so painfully to watch, it has felt like a lifetime sitting thought it. But I have a feeling this is a fake out because the writers have always treated them as some grand love story, and not the statutory rape that it is, so I would not be at all surprised if he gets a job in the town over. Over even worse Ella somehow gets Ezra his job back.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Voice: Did I really see Christina Aguilera and Lionel Richie give advice to some on how to sing a Nirvana song? But anyway, it was not a very good week for people high on my Post-Blind Audition Power Ranking. Gone are Jamie Lono (#4), Whitney Myers (#5), Lex Land (#8), and Geoff McBride (#10). Thankfully Lindsey Pavao (#3) staved off elimination but did so by bumping off Lee Koch (#20). After watching all my favorite gone down, it was when the four chair turning Whitney got shown the door I came up with an idea that going into the live show, each coach should be able to poach someone another coach sent home in the Battle Rounds. Or even better, have the viewing public vote on their six favorite eliminated contestants and introduce a fifth judge and see if they can defeat the original four.

It also became obvious that the coaches are giving songs that give one singer a clear advantage. Ever song selection this week clearly gave an advantage to the person who eventually won. Granted this may just be an anomaly because last week the pairings seemed more down the line with the exception of Ironic. Also my theory that your adviser can also give you an advantage went out the window when Geoff still lost despite getting to spend time with Lionel Richie (granted he should have won).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

The River: I am surprised the Spanish chick who knows everything did not take heed from the dog because certainly the dog knows something the humans do not. I do not know if it was the zombies on the ship or it is something else coming later, but I would have totally followed the dog.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: Limehouse said last episode he likes to back the winner so I wonder how long until he swings over Boyd because his candidate looked much better in the debate than the one with the planted moderator (if I were Quarles, I’d want my money back). The bomb scene was just another classic Justified moment in a long line of great Justified moments.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Wow, both tribes almost split right down the middle with alliances staying together on both tribes. And now Colton is stuck with all the misfits and unfortunately quickly voted out the only one that seems to have the mental capacity to vote him out so it looks like we are stuck with him until at least the merge. This then begs the question with the buff guys on the other tribe rejoining the boys at the merge or stick with the girls? All I know is Survivor really needs to recruit more players with Tarzan’s name recognize affection (something I also have but never knew there was a name for).
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Suburgatory: So Dallas went to an all back college with Robin Givins? Excuse me while I let that sink in for a while.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Modern Family: Is it wrong that I laughed histarically at the clown funeral?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: I know there is not many brain cells among them already, but breathing in all that jet exhaust cannot be healthy. But it least it was entertaining especially when the picnics items flew high up in the air or Camilla falling down. And it is pretty amazing to learn this was the very first time Mark was in an elimination round.
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

Community: Oh, Annie’s Boobs, how have I missed you.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Awake: I know I do not watch many cop shows, but from the very few that I have seen in my lifetime, I have upon the realization that ever former partner is dirty.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/11/12

Once Upon a Time: Congratulations Amy Acker, you are the first actor to appear on both OUaT and Grimm. And as two very different characters, some spiderwoman and a non-descript fairy Godmother. Interesting that all the fairies turned into nuns. And who knew dwarfs are hatched out fully formed? Even more surprising that Grumpy turned out to be one of the more interesting characters on the show.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Finally they are starting to kill off the main characters. Hopefully Lori, Carol, T-Dogg, and Shane are taking in quick secession before the end of the season. I am actually hoping the Randall does go on a killing spree and kills of the entire cast and season three will be him and Maggie reminiscent of their high school days. Which begs the question, why has no one talked to Maggie yet to see if the guy can be trusted?
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

House of Lies: I really did not need to see Veronica Mars riding some old dude.

Pretty Little Liars: I was always suspicious of Mona being targeted by A and I would not at all be surprised if Mona was A and sent her the message to throw the scent off of her. But it is a little more farfetched that Jenna would do the same thing by placing herself in a burning building. At least we only have two weeks until we learn for sure who A is.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Voice: A couple slight changes to the Battle Rounds this season, one for the better the other for the worse. I did like last season when the mentors watched the battles last season and gave their feedback right there. Sure they looked like schoolchildren sitting next to the coaches in their chairs. And it seems really unfair that the contestants saw different mentors. You are a major disadvantage when you visit Jewel and your opponent gets to hang out with Lionel Richie. On the flipside, I do like how they gave the family and friends front row seats instead of sticking them in the backstage where they interrupt the performances with their thoughts. It is also interesting that this season, only the winners get to sing on the studio versions of the songs that are sold on iTunes.

I am really disappointed that we did not see Tony Lucca and Alanis Morrisette did not trade war stories of their teen sketch days on The Micky Mouse Club and They Can’t Do That on Television. I usually find it distracting whenever singers change the gender of the lyrics (see Jordis Unga) but it was really distracting when in a duet, the two singers sing different lyrics at the same time because of their gender like when Chris Mann and Monique Benabou sang. Was it too obvious to just have them trade of lines? And if Ironic (or Adam Lavine for that matter) is what Blake Shelton comes to his mind when he thinks of when it comes to “rock” someone needs to give him a Pantera album.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from this episode on iTunes in the widget at right.

Switched at Birth: I am surprised it took this long for someone to complain how Daphne kept on switching teams. She should not have been let to switch teams in the middle of the season, let along go back to his original team in the middle of the season. And the fact it was allowed simply because the other coach was fine with it was kind of laughable.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

The River: I wish they would have just gone all the way with the Emmitt-centric episode and cut out all the reaction shots from the rest of the crew would have been more powerful.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: A rare almost self contained episode of Justified. Year we saw a couple characters outside the law house (including the first and second meetings of Quarles and Limehouse which were a bit disappointing), and Raylan even made it outside but most was Raylan being investigated twice over leading to some very entreating wordy scenes including my favorite with the detective getting excited of Raylan’s story of how he dropped a bullet on Wynn and told him the next one would come faster. And how brilliant was it that Quarles used said bullet to frame him.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: I am just dumbfounded at what happened this week. When the boys were talking about giving up immunity I figured it was just manufactured drama by the editors to make it more serious than it really was. Then they actually show up at Tribal Council. This is the second time they had to angered the Survivor Gods after cowardly taking immunity during the first challenge. It looks like I am going to have to update my list of the Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever list. But I must say Bill is a bigger man than I am because I am punching Colton on the way out.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Did The Challenge really break out the “tow days ago” place card? Of course the big set up was to reveal Emily in blackface. Usually I cannot get behind other white people’s faux outrage over blackface, but yeah, using chocolate was your makeup is pretty offensive.
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

Awake: I thought they set up the series as two parallel timelines that split after the accident, so it is a little weird that the dead guy was a doctor in one and a homeless guy in another. So apparently they two worlds are more different than I originally thought. And with all the multiple realities, I am not sure if I am ready for a conspiracy theory brought in by the chick from ER this soon considering I spend about a minute at the start of every scene trying to figure out if which world it is (I have started a good memory tool where the muted blue colors means it’s the Boy World).
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/4/12

The Walking Dead: Let’s stop pretending that Rick is actually going to kill the kid (who looked like he had two legs, I thought they had to amputate that), if he is not going to leave Shane to be eaten in the school bus, who is a bigger threat to his family than the kid, he is not going to kill the ked. And seriously, who is going to go back to that group of people that left him for dead to kill the people who risked their life to save him? This is a stupid debate; you always side with the people who saved your life. But of course the writing is so bad, they will probably have Rick kill him making Rick no better than Shane.
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Voice: I was seriously disappointed Christina Aguilera did not push her button for Preston Shannon, which would have bolstered her old black dude team even more than it already is (which looks to lose a member Monday when Jesse takes on Anthony in the Battle Round). But this really felt like a leftover show because after Whitney Myers got everyone to turn their chairs around there where very few multiple chair turns with the exception of Lex Land who was lucky enough to hit her worse note after she got all the boys to turn around (Christina gave a big Gas Face to the iffy note).

But the naturally the most noteworthy audition went to The Shields Brothers. My first thought when they came on screen was I thought The Voice did not have any “joke” auditions. My second thought when they started to sing was if these two do not make it to the Live Shows where they can sing We’re Not Gonna Take It then make it another round for the prerequisite power balled (preferable Tesla’s Love Song) I’m gonna be very unhappy. Get ready to be punched in the face America because the Shields Brothers should be here to stay.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from the episode using the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: I did not think anything was more offensive to the suburbs than Suburgatory until I show Robin’s montage to the suburbs. Seriously, it is not that bad.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Lying Game: Oh snap! Emma slapped Sutton in the face! I almost wish the show would turn Sutton 100% evil like a WWF heel turn where she bashes someone in the back with a folding chair for no reason.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Castle: “Seriously, a bow?” My thoughts exactly.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

The River: Wow, the Spanish chick did not know the tale of the ghost ship going in. A bit surprising. I was more surprised that the skivvy cameraman did not sacrifice himself for the hot chick’s father. Seemed like it would have been a fitting ending to his storyline.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: Some more chess pieces shuffled around this episode in the four person match between Ray;an, Boyd, Limehouse, and Quarles and it looks like next week Quarles will be eliminating another pawn as I get the sense he is going to kill Wynonna’s (ex?)husband and pin it on Raylan. I’m still waiting for when all four of them show up at the same place at the same time, or at the least three of them.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Parenthood: Even with all the obstacles throughout the season, I never thought that the season would end with Julia not having Zoey’s baby. But a heartbreaking end to the most heartbreaking storyline in the show’s history. For a second there I thought next season they would end up adopting Drew and Amy’s kid they conceived at the wedding. And I am not optimistic with the her adopting a grown boy of an incarcerated woman, I do not see that ending well either. The most absurd moment goes to Adam ripping up the $2 million+ offer at a wedding. What I do not understand is why not sell a share of the Luncheonette? Adam gets his money, Crosby would still be the engineer and the general public would get more Dwayne Wayne next season. That is what they call in the business a win-win-win.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Kat v Troyzan should go down in the annals of time as one of the greatest duel ever in the history of time. I am just disappointed they went to a montage, there was so much filler in the episode, they could not show the whole thing? Hopefully the duel in its entirely show up on ESPN Classic sometime soon.

On the flip side, Colton is really giving Russell Hantz a run for the most annoying contestant ever title and it is only three episodes. Hopefully his island of misfits alliances turn on him soon, and soon enough to split the vote to smoke out the immunity idol. It is hard to think he will be long for this world because he is managing to play an even worse strategic game than Russell (and that does not even encompass his ghetto trash comment). The longer Colton stays in this game the worse this season is going to be no matter how entertaining Kat’s stupidness is.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Suburgatory: Apparently it was croquet week between Suburgtory and How I Met Your Mother and as the McGavin family reigning champion, I was annoyed how they got it wrong, you do not have to swing between your legs and George’s golf swing is actually better. And their wickets were too far apart at the beginning of the course. Seriously, Suburgatory, if you need a croquet technical advisor, shout me a holla.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: I was a bit surprised that they went ahead and told us who killed the rent boy (Mr. Miyagi was very high on my short list anyway) but I guess the big question that is supposed to drive the rest of the season is not who killed him, but who will take the fall. The show sadly did not pull the trigger by having Daniel end up being the dead guy from the series premiere so I wonder if they will actually put him or Jack behind bars. If we are lucky, Decland will end up taking the fall for his brother.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/26/12

Once Upon a Time: I was half expecting that the guy under the gold amour to turn out to be motorcycle dude. Instead he just copied (I think) Henry’s book for some unknown reason (I still think he is the author). I also am assuming that August W. Booth is an anagram for something; I am just too lazy, and do not care enough, to figure it out. Either way I just hope they do not drag it out for that much longer.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Poor Jody, married for not even a full episode before getting kicked out. Hopefully he sticks around for the rest of the season to sing more horrible songs.

The Walking Dead: It is never a good sign for a show when one of the mail leads is left in pearl and the audience universally cheers for her potential death even though she is one of the main leads and everyone knows in the back of their minds knows that she will make it somehow. But I am sure there were a lot of watcher disappointed that Lori actually survived flipping her car twice and two zombie attacks. Another bad sign: the most entertaining moment of the entire episode was the unintentional comedy of Maggie brushing aside her father to hug Glen.
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Pan Am: It is too bad the show took itself too seriously in the beginning because now that they have started incorporated more absurd plotlines like Kate taking down a British intelligence agent, Collette dating a prince, and best of all, Ted’s open marriage (c’mon, who turns down a proposal to be married to the hot chick from the annoying vampire films and have the token hot chick as a marriage).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pan Am on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Very high on my list of potential “A” was the trio of Hermy the Hermaphrodite, the blind chick, and Mona, although if A is targeting Mona, that really puts holes in that theory. Unless Mona as A did it to through the Liars off her scent now that they are closing in. Although now that we know at least two of the Liars’ families have ties to that shut down law firm that was connected to the phone number, I wonder what exactly happened at the place.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Voice: Sure there have been three artists so far that I had on my iPod previous to the show, not only do I have Charlotte Sometimes in my music library, I have actually written about here on the 9th Green. And just to show how great talent scout that I am, four years ago I predicted a bigger career for Charlotte over Katy Perry (see Toss Up: Katy Perry vs. Charlotte Sometimes). Oops. But her song How I Could Just Kill a Man (which as it turned out was not a Cypress Hill cover) even came in at #44 on my list of The 100 Best Songs of 2008; #36 on The 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 00’s; and #608 on The 1000 Greatest Songs of the 00’s.

One thing the struck me while watching Nicolle Galyon (who apparently stole Jennifer Morrison’s Thiller jacket from Once Upon a Time) play the piano is that maybe the coaches should be let in on what instrument the contestants are playing because that could be a selling point for the contestant especially for sandwich maker Jamie Lono whose guitar picking was what made his take on Folsom Prison Blues so unique. But then again the show is called The Voice, not The Musician.

One of the breakout moments of this season is just how irate Blake Shelton gets whenever someone presses their button after he does. It may overtake Carson Daly’s awkward high fives with contestants as most entertaining moments on the show. And what was with the blink and you’ll miss it cameo from Kirk Franklin who also landed on my Greatest One Hit Wonders but for the 90’s, which makes me wonder if Anthony Evans was in God’s Property. At any rate, Christina Aguilera again bolstered her old black dude contingent.

Oh yeah, and one more thing, what the heck happened to Ducky?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from the show through the widget at right.




How I Met Your Mother: Whew, we really dodged a bullet there with Ted realizing Robin was in love with Barney, I could not stand another season of that coupling.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Lying Game: They have hinted at it for since the beginning but it was nice to see Sutton go straight up evil this week having both Emma and Ethan think the other had an affair during their time apart.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Castle: I knew the rouge CIA guy was not the bad guy, but I did not see the Flashdancer being a KGB sleeper agent who had nothing better to do than bring down the world’s government. Now that is what I call a plot twist. I guess since Caste’s father was in the CIA I have a feeling he will end up tying into Beckett mother’s murder. Who knew Castle even had a dad?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: Is it wrong that I was highly entertained by the fight in sign language?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

The River: Just when you think Eloise Mumford could not get any more geek chicier when she donned glasses last week, she breaks out an accordion this week. If she wears a Ramona Flowers wig next week, my head might explode. But the endings to these episodes are really getting cheesy. So far they have trapped an evil spirit in blood and dumped it in the river, traded the bones of a mother for another, appeased natives by simply saying they would sacrifice themselves (but not actually doing so), and this week they broke a curse by breaking a phone holding a sacred video. The show really needs to cross the proverbial lines one of these days.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: Where last season had a new showdown between the principals even other episode this season has been a much slower burn to the end with Raylan, Boyd, crazy Detroit Guy, and Bubba Gump playing some weird four person chess board that Sheldon Cooper would invent. Hopefully we start getting some checkmates soon and have them not all come in the season finale.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Parenthood: Just when you think they could not make the Julia / Zoey storyline any more heartbreaking, there is Zoey at the end of the episode holding the son she could not bring to hold after delivery. I am still holding out hope that Julia just goes ahead and adopt Zoey and her kid. And someone should tell Crosby that when Dwayne Motherfracking Wayne tries to give you a million dollars, you take it. Does he not realize how many flip sunglasses that would buy?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Where the frack was Probst during the reward challenge? Are they slowly transitioning into a Probst-less version of the series in the near future? I really hope not. When they first showed the Immunity Challenge I thought it would originally favor the woman because females have better balance than med do, but forgot about other, um, assets women have that men do that would get in the way give the guys the heavy advantage. But again I was wrong after it was brought to my attention that the last Men vs. Women season, this exact challenge was won by the girls’ tribe and won before the guys could get a second member in. So apparently these women may be the most dysfunctional tribe in the history of Survivor. But on the bright side, Kat looks really good doing it.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Suburgatory: Yep, Dalia remains the most evil thing on television, her diatribe at the dance was downright spine tingling (although I kind of hope it is a bit of foreshadowing of what is to come). And it might be time to give Kimantha more screen time.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Happy Endings: It is nice to see that I am not the only person that grows a beard in winter time. It is totally practical.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Happy Endings on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Watching Camilla’s drunken ten minute tirade I came to the realization that Survivor really needs to start have more alcohol related reward challenges.
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: Bongo Solo!!!!!!!
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/19/12

Once Upon a Time: When Mr. Gold started beating the owner of Game of Thorns (great name) for contributing to the death of his daughter I thought there was no way they actually killed off Belle. When the Evil Queen talked about how she threw herself out of a tower I thought there was no way they killed of Belle. During Gold and Regina’s discussion in the jail I thought to myself, there is no way they killed off Belle. And just when I thought, well maybe they actually did kill off Belle, Regina started entering a code at the hospital (who puts a secret room behind an emergency exit?) and goes down the mental ward (I assume) wear we see that Belle is in fact alive and well in the real world. It only took half the season, but this was the first great plot twist on the show. Hopefully Regina has more characters down there. And the show really needs to forget about focusing on the battle between Emma and Regina and spend more time on the battle between Regina and Gold.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Greatest wedding toast ever. From now on, you cannot consider it a good wedding toast unless someone pulls a gun on you.

The Walking Dead: After the mid-season finale I was ready to come back with a vengeful Hershel killing off everybody, Shane, Rick, Lori, T-Dog, Andrea, Dale, Carol; he could have mercy on Glen and Daryl if he wishes, but I would like to see most of the main cast brutally murdered. Unfortunately that did not happen (of course there is no way Lori could possibly survive that car crash and if so would be eaten before someone finds her; but I but she manages to avoid death) but at least they finally introduced some interesting characters in the form of Britt from Terriers. Oh wait, they killed him before the end of the episode. I really hate this show.
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

House of Lies: Seeing Veronica Mars in her pedestrian clothes again, it is just a reminder how she is wastes wearing pant suits all the time. I may have to start up a Free Ronnie campaign.

How I Met Your Mother: When Robin told Ted that Kumar dumped her I thought, “oh crap, they better not get these two back together” and minutes later Ted tells Robin he loved her. Uggg. If we have to sit through another season of Ted and Robin coupled I may finally have to give up on the show.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Voice: What a bunch of tomato cans all of the constants were this week. I’d be shocked if any of them make it out of the Battle Round. Hopefully the show did not just front load all the great talent for after the Super Bowl because think we still have two more weeks of Blind Auditions.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

2 Broke Girls: Apparently the writers have heard the critique of how often the resort to vagina jokes on the show and actually outted the word as Max’s favorite.

The Lying Game: I realize the problem with the show: not enough red herrings, and by not enough I mean none. Who killed the drug dealer was pretty easy to figure out because it had to be the DA (or someone he hired to do it) because there were no other possibilities but him. Same with the twins parents: it has to be Rebecca and Ted because there is no one else. The show really needs to build a mystery better.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Castle: I do not know what Alexis would not tell her dad of her new internship, he was going to find out the first time they get called in. And as someone who has had to do trunk duty when we could not find enough designated drivers back in college, I doubt the lack of oxygen theory that Beckett had. But there has to be a reason why the trained assassin let them live, I am guessing he turns out to have gone rouge for the greater good.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

The River: The cameraman realizing he had to go underground to retrieve the antidote was the greatest use of censorship since The Osbornes went off the air. But then ending of the tribesmen backing off because someone sacrificed themselves was just absurd. I wonder how long it takes the crew to realize they should listen to the Spanish chick jungle legends before running off on an adventure willy nilly?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: If someone takes out my kidneys, said I need to get twenty grand in four hours or I die and hands be a gun to get the job done, I do not care if I am a wanted fugitive, I am shooting the dude and taking my kidneys to the nearest hospital to be put back in. But God bless Dewey Crowe, not only does he not realize that none of the symptoms the nurse detailed were happening, he is the only person that does not realize that all store clerks keep shotguns under the counter. But it was weird watching the episode considering that it had the same theme as one of the plots of Raylan (see my review: It's a Shame He Wasn't a Wanted Felon so I Could Shoot Him He Resisted) but still changed a bunch of details.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Parenthood: Seriously, someone needs to tell Bob Little, nailing the intern is the number one Cardinal Rule of politics and with, as Michael Bluth would say, “Her?”. But poor Amber, this is the first time she gets some action on the show since the premiere and it gets interrupted by her aunt.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Suburgatory: Tessa trying to sing has to be the funniest thing of the week. I have re-watched that way too many times.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: There is nothing I hate more in television than episodes that open with a “x amount of time earlier” and Revenge is the first show that I can remember doing it in the first episode with a resolution not coming until later in the series. And now that we have finally seen the series come full circle, I may be more let down that I expected. From the first episode I expected Daniel not to be the dead body and from the moment he stepped on screen I knew the rent boy would be the one that ended up dead even though he looked nothing like Daniel and no one would confuse the two. But it managed to be even more disappointing because the premiere’s first scene just did not seem to sync up well with the most recent episode. Making things worse, the plot they teased in the premiere, Jack killing Daniel, is a much more interesting plot twist than what presumably happened: Amanda killing rent boy and framing Daniel. Or Jack. Actually I am not really sure what was going on. Why did Amanda smear blood on Jack and then drive off to the beach? Did she try to set up two people to make sure no one comes after her? After a really good first ten episodes, the show really fumbled this moment. Hopefully it can get back on track by the finale.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: It is a shame that Leonard did not have as the tie breaker a foot race, because that would have been more entertaining than throwing the ball the highest, although maybe it would have been too much like Sue Heck trying out for Cross Country.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/12/12

Shameless: I totally missed that Karen said she was pregnant last week. Not only did I miss it last week, I even missed it this week during the “previously on” segment. It was not until they started discussing it during the episode and wondered why they brought it up flippidly and had to go back to the “previously on” package to go, yeah, totally missed that.

Pretty Little Liars: When the first introduced the step sister last season I thought she would be a great foil for Hanna and was a bit disappointed last week when she played the shy, fish out of water card but I was just awe struck at how evil her plan was when it was revealed she was the one who sent out the naked picture of herself. Spencer said uit best that doing so would have gotten her arch-nemesis in major trouble, made all the girls pity her and all the guys lust after her. Brilliant. Almost, because if you have a massive birthmark on one side, how about instead of airbrushing it, how about taking a picture from the other side?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Voice: Who would have guessed after one week Christina Aguilera would be sitting in the pole position after one week? Her team was so embarrassingly bad last season, if the teams went head to head last year instead battled with your own team (which would have made for a much more interesting show) Christina may not have had anyone in the top ten. I would have guessed anyone who watched last season would instantly choose Blake Shelton who was clearly the best coach last season, yet he is sitting with the worst team so far (maybe a little karma from his horrible Footloose cover). I wonder if people went for Christina knows her team might be so bad that they could easily make it to the finals?

Last season when Dia Frampton trotted on stage she looked familiar and when the scanned to sister in the friend and family room, I was like, oh yeah, that’s Meg & Dia, I have them on my iPod. And that actually happened to me three times this year (and we are just one week in) including Angel Taylor, Juliet Simms of Automatic Loveletter and not only so I have songs by Tony Lucca, I own an entire album by the guy. And let’s not forget that his version of Devil Town was the soundtrack to not one, but two scenes in the first season of Friday Night Lights.

So once again The Voice is filled with semi-professional singers (and is better show than the other amateurish singing competition because of it), but the biggest standout of the first week was the rare novice on the show Lindsey Pavao who gave a weird coffee house performance of Trey Songz ’ Say Aah which was so bizarre it worked (unlike the Alicia Keys backup singer who went with Avril Lavigne’s Complicated as his auction song) and was the only audition so far to crack the iTunes Top 25. She became the cornerstone of Christina’s team along with early frontrunner Jesse Campbell (him and Lucca are currently 1 and 1a) a well as The Line who put in a solid performance of American Girl which it a pretty idiot proof song (unlike a dude singing Complicated). Though I feel bad because it is clear he is into her more that she is into him, and with his partner and Christina, dude will stuck between a wall of cleavage all season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice on iTunes (see widget at left).



How I Met Your Mother: The three rooms was a novel concept, but if you are going to go room by room, stay in the room, do not slide into another for a couple seconds and go back.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The River: Even if ABC had not pounded it into our heads for the past month, it is pretty clear that it was from the same guy who did Paranormal Activity: you had your found footage and had to pay close attention for something creepy to happen, but nothing particularly scary happens until the end and the guys are extremely dumb and do not know when to put the camera down and run. Seriously, the one dude just heard the story about hanging up dolls to appease the spirit only to take one down and then wonder why things started to happen. Then you had the cameraman who taunted one spirit, watch it kill his coworker, then decided to taunt yet another spirit the next day. How are these guys still alive? Seriously, when the Spanish chick says you’re going to some place that is “Untranslatable” it is time to turn around guys. Untranslatable is never good. How are these guys still alive? But having made it through two of the eight episodes, Eloise Mumford’s (and sons) tank top should help me get through the final six.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: Holy Loretta McCready sighting! I knew Raylan would eventually come and save her from Tim Allen. I know the previews make it look dire, but I hope Dewey survives the operation because I am really hoping for a hillbilly Oz type spinoff featuring Dewey and Dickie in prison. But the best of the episode was yet another classic Raylan showdown, and this time he did not even brandish his gun, instead ran a dude over. Twice. Awesome. But let’s pour some out for poor old Herc. He gets out of his wheelchair just to be double crossed by another dude in a wheelchair.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Modern Family: Doesn’t Saturday Night Live have a recurring skit like the Greg Kinnear gag that stopped being funny around the second time they did it? They should have spent more time with Hayley’s Little Sister, there probably would have been a lot funnier in that storyline.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Revenge: The show continued its weekly Holy Frack moment, but after it was revealed to Charlotte that her father was not really her father (by the dad at that) I realized, well, we already knew that so really it was not that exciting reveal. Hopefully the engagement party provides some fireworks (and not the ones in the sky), but I have a feeling that it will not be Daniel that Jack kills but instead will be whoever RSVP in Emily’s revenge stash, I am guessing will be the gay man whore even though he looks nothing like Daniel. They better play this right because they are skirting on a Jump the Shark situation.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: It is a little disturbing that all these contestants could get pop culture questions right but not who assassinated Kennedy. I guess we should be happy that Paula actual guessed someone who assassinated a president. Oh yeah, and she was the one who won. But seriously, more spelling and history questions in the future.
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I like how other television shows are taking pot shots at Lost. It really deserves to be ridiculed.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.