The Ten Most Anticipated Events of 2016

10. Swish - Kanye West: In previous installments I would open up with Detox saying maybe this is the year Dr. Dre finally releases his album. Dre did release an album last year though not Detox which seems will officially never see the light of day (then again Bob Dylan released The Basement Tapes forty years later so maybe someday). Kanye West may be the closest thing to a long anticipated album. Yeezus came out three years ago making it his longest wait between albums. He actually released what was assumed to be the first single New Years Eve 2014, another single came out a couple months later as well as a Rihanna collaboration (who's Anti is also oft delayed), he premiered a third song at the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary, and once again dropped another song this New Years Eve. Will we actually get to hear Swish this year? Will it go under another name change before being released (it was originally supposed to be called So Help Me God)? Or will it turn into the next Detox?

9. The Presidential Election (November 8): Of course Kanye may just very well forgo music and throw his hat into the race for president this year instead of waiting until 2020 like he announced last year. He might as well because this election cycle has turned into a clown show. And the Republicans said they had learned from four years ago with what was commonly referred as a clown car of horrible candidates that tainted the one guy who could actually beat Barack Obama and ended up losing in a landslide. So the Republicans conduct an autopsy, decide they need to be more welcoming to women and minorities... and ended up with a crazier group candidate with anyone who could actually win a general election languishing in single digits. I have long said I would not worry about Donald Trump until they started to vote but now that we are about a week out I am starting to get worried because Ted Cruz, who is just Trump with tact, is right behind him. Then you have the Democrats who should look at the Republicans and think they can win in a slam dunk except they rigged their nomination so someone who may be indited before the election will win with no opposition except for some guy who can be described as your crazy Jewish uncle. Seriously, people want a second Clinton as much as they want a third Bush, not at all. Yet both parties seem intent on nominating someone no one else in the country wants as president. Hopefully Canada is more open to immigrants than Trump because there may be an influx no matter who wins in November

8. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (February 5): I have not been this excited for a film based solely on its title since Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Hopefully this one is better.


7. More Live Musicals on Television!: After three tries, NBC finally got their live musical right with the Wiz. No official word if there will be another but I sure they will announce another on during May sweeps in not earlier. And now Fox is getting into the live musical business with Grease Live (starring Julianne Hough, Vanessa Hudgens, Keke Palmer, and Carly Rae Jepsen) coming January 31 and they are righting one of my major gripes with the NBC version and including a live audience. Clueless ABC is also doing a musical this year but their musical version of Dirty Dancing staring Abigail Breslin will not be live. Also not live is another Fox event who is remaking Rocky Horror Picture Show set to air this fall. I have never been much of a fan of the movie and the recent casting of Victoria Justice, who acts about as well as she sings (not very) and a bunch of people I have not heard of does not get me any more excited.

6. Billions (January 17): Paul Giamatti comes to the small screen to shout at people on a weekly basis! Sure I have no idea what is going on as he tries to catch a hedge fund billionaire with ill gotten gain (Brody returns to Showtime!). I have a lengthier write up on the show coming around the time the show premieres.

5. La La Land (July 15): When NBC announced after the success of The Sound of Music Live! that a live musical would be a yearly event, one of my first fantasy castings was Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling in Guys and Dolls. Unfortunately that is not happening (yet) but the duo is starring in a musical (albeit not live) coming out this summer.

4. Angie Tribeca (25 Hour Marathon starring January 17 at 9:00): I have a full write up coming closer to the premiere date but let me say now that this is the funniest show on television.

3. X-Files (January, 24): Reboots can be tricky, but I am cautiously optimist for the new X-Files even though the two stars jumped ship long before the series originally ended and the mediocre at best movie from a couple years back. First off they are just dipping their toe back in the water with just six hours, including four stand alone episode and plenty of fan service with the return of the Smoking Man and the Lone Gunman (despite their demise). And even if it does end up sucking, hey, it is only six episodes.


2. The Suicide Squad (August 5): Have we finally reached superhero fatigue? The Fantastic Four reboot bombed, Ant- Man was the worst performing Marvel film. Yet by my count there are seven more comic book adaptations coming this year. Marvel has two more, DC is starting their cinematic universe with two films itself, while Fox, despite the recent disaster of the Fantastic Four, is going all in with their other Marvel owned property X-Men with three movies. To be honest there is only one that has really gotten me excited; I never cared much about the X-Men, I am two films behind on Marvel, and every passing Superman v Bat Man trailer makes me less excited; and that is The Suicide Squad. Okay I want to cut off the trailer when Jared Leto's Joker shows up because he looks horrible, but sign me up for everything else about it. Just give Margo Robbie her Oscar for Harley Quinn now. Or at the very least an MTV Movie Award.


1. The Olympics (starting August 5): Always one of my favorite events every other year and plenty of story lines for this year's game which will includes Rugby Sevens for the first time: can Micheal Phelps add it his gold medals record? Can Usain Bolt go back to back to back in the Mens 100 Yard Dash? Can the US Women Soccer team be the first team to win Gold the year after winning the World Cup? Will anyone die swimming in Rio's polluted river? Okay the modern Olympics would not be complete with controversies in the lead up and this year's big one is the rivers where they plan to host the outdoor swimming events were unsafe to swim in. A previous scandal was adverted when they announced that the organizers were going to charge for air conditioning but later reversed that decision.

Best of the Week: 5/10/14

Quote of the Week: Third times a charms the Browns are hoping. 2007: Brady Quinn picked 22nd. 2012: Brandon Weeden picked 22nd. 2014 Johnny Football picked 22nd. Aren’t they due? (Chris Berman, 2014 NFL Draft)

Song of the Week: Type of Way – Rich Homie Quan (Suburgatory)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: The Start of the Johnny Football Era in Cleveland: All winter Johnny Manziel has been linked to the Browns at the number four pick. You saw it in every mock draft until a reporter said the Browns had more of a chance drafting him at number four than Johnny Football. Then the mock draft all switched to a glorious dream scenario, premiere wide receiver Sammy Watkins at four and quarterback Teddy Bridgwater at 26, which the Browns fleeced from the Colts for Trent Richardson. Watkins would instantly make Cleveland the most feared receiver corp. in the league along with Josh Gordon who broke records last season even with Brandon Weeden and two backups throwing to him.

It was too good to be true because this is Cleveland, nothing ever goes right. Except there was Watkins at four for the picking, everything was falling into space. Except in true Browns fashion they passed on Watkins trading the pick to the Bills for the 9th pick. Sure the Browns also get their first round pick next year that will likely be a top 15 pick as the Bills are the only tam this millennium to not make the playoffs (even the hapless Browns bade it once during the Kelly Holcomb era). But the Browns did use that pick on a Cornerback to pair with Joe Haden, though not a fearsome pair as a potential Watkins / Gordon tandem could have been.

The Browns still had the Colts pick. But then the 22nd rolled around. In the past decade, the Browns have moved up to that very number to draft Brady Quinn and Brandon Weeden. Oh no. A trade is in. It is the Browns. They picked Johnny Football, a cannot miss pick who inexplicably fell like Quinn and Weeden did. Making things worse, it was reported that after spending $100,000 on a report that said Bridgewater was the best quarterback in this draft, new owner was stopped by a homeless man who told him to draft Manziel.

Who the frack takes the advice of a homeless man? He is homeless because he makes horrible decisions. And now I have to root for someone who looks like Brick Heck and is a slightly better Tim Tebow for the next two years. As Bill Simmons would say, God hates Cleveland.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Flirty Dancing” Baby Daddy, Wednesday at 8:30 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: The Soundmaker EP – Rodrigo y Gabriela (NoiseTrade)

New Album Release of the Week: Turn Blue - The Black Keys

New DVD Release of the Week: Eastbound & Down: Season 4

Video of the Week: I have not watched anything on Fox since the series season three finale of Arrested Development with the exception of football (I have been watching Cosmos but I get away with my Fox ban by watching the National Geographic re-airing). I stopped watching Fox because I had come to the realization that everything I watched on the channel got canceled after one season. Looking back on the last eight years, New Girl is the only show on Fox that I may have watched that got multiple seasons.

But for the first time since my ban, I am in a quandary about actually lifting my Fox ban and that reason is Gotham the upcoming Batman show that is not actually going to feature Batman. Sure the last show set in Gotham that did not actually feature Batman, Birds of Prey, did not go well, but the new show is being created by Bruno Heller, the guy who gave us Rome, one of the best television shows of the past decade. But on the flipside, a mustache-less dude from The O.C. stars as Jim Gordon and Jada Pinkett Smith plays a gangster. And the trailer looks good even though I spend most of it waiting for someone to punch Gordon and tell him, “Welcome to Gotham (expletive deleted)!”

In other networks I have a ban on, I have not watched The CW since the series finale of Everybody Hates Chris but they are also getting in the comic book game that is making me question lifting my ban. I once swore never to watch The CW until they brought back Veronica Mars. Well something called The CW Seed is doing a Veronica Mars spinoff and creator Rob Thomas is creating a show based on a comic book. Sure that comic book is something called iZombie which stars Tinkerbell. The sort of network is also creating a show based on The Flash featuring Tom Cavanaugh, who starred as Ed Stevens on the show of the same first name, one of my favorite television characters ever, as the non titular character. Add these three shows along with NBC’s Constantine and DC is finally catching up to Marvel who also bolstered it’s line up adding and Agent Carter show to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (not to mention its five Netflix shows coming next year).


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Blacklist, Monday at 10:00 on NBC: When it was announced that The Blacklist would get the coveted post-The Voice timeslot, it seemed obvious it could get a second season because even the dud that was Revolution renewed. The question was going to be, is it any good. After twenty-one episodes, the answer is a resounding yes. Now all it has to do is stick the landing (unlike, say, Lost, whose first season finale sucked after a stellar debut season). James Spader chews up the scene like no one else does and Megan Boone has been surprisingly efficient as Spader’s handler. If The Blacklist can stick the landing, it can be the best procedural hybrid on network television since Veronica Mars.

Best of the Week: 8/24/13

Quote of the Week: Digging the whole Erika Badu thing you got going on… turban. (Ray, The Bridge)

Song of the Week: Don't You (Forget About Me) – Simple Minds (Perception)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: And Your New Batman Is…: I actually had a long diatribe on the official announcement on the new cast of Survivor and the disastrous return of Colton and Redemption Island but I am going to put that off until the season premieres because a much bigger news item dropped Friday morning. Usually I write my Big News of the Week early on Wednesday or Thursday because traditionally nothing happens of Friday, the day is historically a slow news day because people are too busy preparing for the weekend to care about news. Most people dump bad news on Friday hoping it will disappear without anyone caring.

This makes you wonder why Warner Bros. would hold off the announcement of the next Batman, arguably the biggest superhero on the planet, until a Friday instead of Monday to maximize the impact and news. Well that is until you learn who would be putting on the cowl next: Ben Affeck commonly considered the worst superhero ever (depending on your feelings towards Ryan Reynolds) after the disastrous Daredevil. Naturally the internets almost combusted on itself after the new broke. What makes this worse is that this announcement came after word leaked that Ryan Gosling was on the shortlist (a shortlist that did not even include Affleck). I would have even taken Josh Brolin, who also rumored for the part over Affleck. Sometime I wonder if Warner Bros. and DC Comics do not mind playing second fiddle to the Marvel even though DC has the far superior roster of superheroes.

I am sure Survivor and Grantland, who released their disastrous The Best Song of the Millennium bracket Thursday, which befuddling left Crazy by Gnarls Barkley off the pool of sixty-four (to put things in perspective, the people over at Grantland did think Tik Tok by Ke$ha is one of the sixty four best songs of the millennium; though any longtime reader of Grantland cannot be too surprised that their list is made up of mostly middling rap songs horrible pop songs and pretentious indie music no one cares about), were happy that the announcement was released Friday to pull all the internet hatred away from them and unto Affleck.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"Now You See Me, Now You Don’t" Pretty Little Liars, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: The Living Room Sessions – Sheryl Crow (NoiseTrade): Get Sheryl Crow’s move towards country with a free EP, but if you are so inclines to tip for being generous, Portions of any money collected from the "tip jar" will be sent to one of Sheryl's favorite charities, St Jude Children's Research Hospital.

New Album Release of the Week: Electric Slave - Black Joe Lewis

New DVD Release of the Week: The Great Gatsby

Video of the Week: If you have watched MTV over the past month, which is to say if you have watched The Challenge in the past month because it is the only programming on the channel worth watching this decade aside the short lived Beavis and Butt-Head revival (which I guess is not coming back), you would be surprised to hear an actual good song being played as No Sleep Till Brooklyn has become the theme of this year’s Video Music Awards since the show will be held in the borough for the first time tomorrow. It is nice that the channel actually is playing a great song for once, but really ruins the sentiment when the ads also feature Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. But MTV recently did an oral history of the Beastie Boys song. Sure it is short and does not feature stories from any of the Boys themselves, but it is still worth a view. The VMA’s airs tomorrow at 9:00 and will feature performances by artists no one over fourteen will want to watch so you may want to go to sleep before the show gets to Brooklyn. Actually all the old people you loved the Beastie Boys back in the day will probably be watching Breaking Bad instead.

Get More:
2013 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music

Next Week Pick of the Week: Pretty Little Liars, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC Family: #WorldWarA is upon us and… I cannot say I am all that excited. Is redcoat A? If so why are the Liars calling her buy both names? It gets too confusing. All I know is that CeCe is way too obvious. I am still predicting Allison is Redcoat / A, whether they tell us that in the summer finale or not is debatable. They like to stretch mysteries out like turkey meat.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/10/13

How I Met Your Mother: They really should have saved most of the Abby Elliot (I wonder if she is going to run into her real life father and Lily’s fake dad) storyline for next week and devoted ninety-five percent of the episode to Robin Sparkles Daggers. The show is always at its best when it makes fun of Canada, and Robin’s Underneath the Music was the most memorable skit this show has done in recent memory. Hats off for getting Dave Coulier to come in and insist the song is not about him in a not so subtle nod to the rumor that Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know is about him. Now if only Bob Saget can get Kimmie Gibbler out of retirement.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: Well that was an ending I did not see coming. Assistant Director Skinner finally makes the title sequence, and then gets gunned down. Unfortunately that pretty much spoils if he survives the gunshot. Although that would be a great misdirect if they put him in the credits only to kill him off in episode three. (Rumor has it Joss Whedon wanted to put Eric Balfour in the credits of Buffy the Vampire Slayer only to kill him off in the two part series premiere but was not allowed because of financial reasons.)
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: Apparently the NYPD needs to hire me as a consultant because it seems like I am always one step ahead of their investigation. Like this week, as soon as they found the car, my first thought was why would someone kill someone else in front of their car and not use it to transport the body instead leaving the car there with plenty of incriminating evidence inside for a day or two.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Deception: Wait, Mia’s real father cannot possibly be the dude from the John Laraquette show, can it? It has to be him or someone we have not met yet (unless they want to go even ickier and make Julian the father).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I’m with Spencer, (in only one respect), there is no reason to eulogize Alison again. They did it at her last funeral and presumably when she first went missing and presumed dead. I am not with Spencer for going crazy just because she learned her creepy boyfriend, that she believed less than a year ago killed one of her friends, turned out to really be evil. And finally someone on the show actually stated a theory that I have had since the first episode when Hannah, who of course has always been my favorite, actually questioned if Allison is actually alive. Who else could have been the blonde in the red coat? CeCe? Everyone else on the show I can think of has dark hair except the chick Emily dated a couple of seasons ago.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: Last week I pondered how long it would be until Ellie May teams up with the preacher’s sister to exact revenge on Boyd. Maybe the preacher’s sister is insignificant as Ellie May ended up in the sheriff’s house this week as the lawman looks like he wants to go legit and bring down the Crowder Empire. This would be much more interesting than what I thought was going to happen (though I have a feeling that we have not seen the last of the sister).

I got a sinking suspicion that Josiah may turn out to be Drew Thompson. C’mon, you do not bring in Major Dad to be a dude who sends out his daughter to steal pipe. And what better reason to cut off your own foot if a ruthless druglord who you stole money from is close on your tail? (I always thought the home monitors had heat sensors so such things could not occur, maybe I watch too many of these types of shows.) So either Major Dad is Drew Thompson or the real Drew I the person that kidnapped him.

It was also nice to see shocked Wynn Duffy back. His reactions were always the best and watching the dude from Yes Dead shoot an FBI agent in the head was another classic Wynn look.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Modern Family: I do not like how they made a joke out of Cat's In the Cradle, one of the greatest tales ever recorded in the history of storytelling.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Subugatory: It is amazing how close to racism they can get away with. That is not to say I did not enjoy Triple A. I actually would not mind more trips to East Chatswin. But I wondered why Dallas just did not sell off enough of her East Chatswinian land to make her a majority Chatswin Proper resident.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Nashville: Ooo, the show totally put Taylor Swift on blast with Juliet’s storyline this week. Btu it is weird they are trying to turn her into a real artist when at the start of the series they had to auto-tune her in the studio. Now she is singing acoustically live… with no back up dancers? Pretty soon she will be touring with The Lumineers.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Community: Kind of clever of the new showrunners to have a tongue in cheek “regular” sitcom inside the show, but they went one joke too far with Inception parody.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: Genevieve definitely had reason to hate on Kevin Smith because he jobbed her in that debate. She won that debate going away. Oh well, at least she won the Nerd Off. Seriously, how are you dubbed the “Batman Expert” and lose a comic book trivia challenge? Even I was able to get two questions right and I am not an expert or even studied. Granted one I just guessed, but I was able to guess the right year Superman was introduced before the choices were even announced.

The 25 Best Movies of 2012

I am wrapping up my Best of 2012 post (click the label at the bottom to see all of them) with my favorite movies of the year. I should note that I hate going to movie theaters so these are basically the best movies released on Blu-Ray in 2012 (or late 2011). Click on the cover to purchase the movie on Amazon.

1. Marvel's The Avengers

2. The Dark Knight Rises

3. The Cabin in the Woods

4. Drive

5. Attack the Block

6. Safety Not Guaranteed

7. The Muppets

8. Marley

9. 21 Jump Street

10. Ides of March

11. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

12. The Five Year Engagement

13. Chronicle

14. The Grey

15. The Sitter

16. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

17. John Carter

18. The Hunger Games

19. The Amazing Spider-Man

20. Haywire

21. Immortals

22. Moneyball

23. Safe House

24. 50/50

25. Restless