The 100 Worst Songs of the 00's

1. London Bridge - Fergie

2. Lollipop - Lil' Wayne and Static Major

3. If U Seek Amy - Britney Spears

4. Stars Are Blind - Paris Hilton

5. Jenny from the Block - Jennifer Lopez featuring Styles P and Jadakiss

6. The Anthem - Good Charlotte

7. Cameltoe - Fannypack

8. I'm in Luv with a Stripper - T-Pain featuring Mike Jones

9. When I Grow Up - Pussycat Dolls

10. Gimme More - Britney Spears

11. A Bay Bay - Hurricane Chris

12. My Humps - Black Eyed Peas

13. This Is Why I’m Hot - Mims

14. Axel F - Crazy Frog

15. Fergalicious - Fergie

16. Liquid Dreams - O-Town

17. Crank That (Soulja Boy) - Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em

18. Laffy Taffy - D4L

19. Chain Hang Low - Jibbs

20. My Neck, My Back (Lick It) - Khia

21. Put it On Me - Ja Rule featuring Lil' Mo and Vita

22. Lip Gloss - Lil’ Mama

23. Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father) - Lindsay Lohan

24. Get Low - Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boyz and Ying Yang Twins

25. I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho) - Pitbull

26. Salt Shaker - Ying Yang Twins and Lil' John and the Eastside Boyz

27. Stanky Legg - GS Boyz

28. Blue (Da Be Dee) - Eiffel 65

29. Shots - LMFAO and Lil' John

30. Poker Face - Lady Gaga

31. You're a Jerk - New Boyz

32. Low - Flo Rida featuring T-Pain

33. She Hates Me - Puddle of Mudd

34. Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas

35. It’s Not Over - Daughtry

36. Just Dance - Lady Gaga and Colby O'Donis

37. Grills - Nelly featuring Paul Wall, Ali & Gipp

38. Right Round - Flo Rida featuring Ke$ha

39. Grace Kelly - Mika

40. Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani

41. It's Goin' Down - Yung Joc featuring Nitti

42. Pop - N*SYNC

43. Eat You Alive - Limp Bizkit

44. Home - Daughtry

45. Do I Make You Proud - Taylor Hicks

46. Word Up! - Korn

47. Clothes Off!!! - Gym Class Heroes featuring Patrick Stump

48. All the Above - Maino featuring T-Pain

49. I’m Not OK (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance

50. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous - Good Charlotte

51. She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy - Kenny Chesney

52. LoveGame - Lady Gaga

53. Party Like a Rock Star - Shop Boyz

54. I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! at the Disco

55. 3 - Britney Spears

56. Big Girls Don’t Cry (Personal) - Fergie

57. My Way - Limp Bizkit

58. Kiss Me Thru the Phone - Soulja Boy Tell 'em and Sammy

59. American Life - Madonna

60. Behind Blue Eyes - Limp Bizkit

61. Ur So Gay - Katy Perry

62. Break Stuff - Limp Bizkit

63. 24's - T.I.

64. The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars

65. Hot N Cold - Katy Perry

66. My Prerogative - Britney Spears

67. Lean Back - Terror Squad

68. I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry

69. I Don’t Want to Be in Love (Dance Floor Anthem) - Good Charlotte

70. Not too Young, Not too Old - Aaron Carter featuring Nick Carter

71. Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin’) - T-Pain featuring Yung Joc

72. Wait (The Whisper Song) - Ying Yang Twins

73. Don’t Trust Me - 3OH!3

74. Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx featuring Mr. ColliPark and the Ying Yang Twins

75. Hotel Room Service - Pitbull

76. With Arms Wide Open - Creed

77. Bartender - T-Pain featuring Akon

78. Handlebars - Flobots

79. Something in Your Mouth - Nickelback

80. Right Now (Na Na Na) - Akon

81. Goodies - Ciara featuring Petey Pablo

82. I’m Real - Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule

83. One Minute Man - Missy Elliot featuring Ludacris and Trina

84. Bodies - Downing Pool

85. My Sacrifice - Creed

86. U & Ur Hand - P!nk

87. My Love - Justin Timberlake featuring T.I.

88. Prom Queen - Lil' Wayne and Shanell

89. Ready, Set, Don't Go - Billy Ray Cyrus featuring Miley Cyrus

90. Turn My Swag On - Soulja Boy Tell ‘em

91. Love Don't Cost a Thing - Jennifer Lopez

92. L.O.V.E. - Ashlee Simpson

93. 1, 2 Step - Ciara featuring Missy Elliot

94. Shoulder Lean - Young Dro featuring T.I.

95. Get the Party Started - P!nk

96. Pimp Juice - Nelly

97. Right Thurr - Chingy

98. Womanizer - Britney Spears

99. Show Stopper - Danity Kane featuring Yung Joc

100. Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) - Big and Rich

We on Award Tour: 2009 Grammy Awards

A fairly low key event this year at the Grammy’s missing the usual goosebumps moments the show is known for instead there were too many head scratching moments. Really, the big surprise of the night was Stevie Wonder performing with the Jonas Brothers. And if I am not mistaken, this was the first year they didn’t run the “Awards previously handed out earlier” segment instead opting for a “go to gammy.com” to see those. Granted I am too lazy to do so. Here are some other thoughts from the night:

- Even though they were not up for any award, U2 opens up the show. Hopefully Get on Your Boots isn’t a preview of what is to come on their new album as it is just a Vertigo retread. Then we get our first awkward moment of the night with Bono throwing to Whitney Houston.

- I know they were engaged, but it is hard not to start laughing seeing I Love New York castoff Punk next to Jennifer Hudson, who takes home worst dressed award (M.I.A. gets a pass on account that she is nine months pregnant).

- The biggest showdown in the night didn’t actually take place in any announced category, but between The Rock and Jay Mohr between for most uncomfortable dialogues.

- The Rock throws to the next awkward moment of the evening with Justin Timberlake rambling on about stalking Al Green or something. Granted this performance was rushed together after Rihanna canceled her performance early Sunday after she may or may not have been assaulted by Chris Brown.

- I was a little disappointed that Coldplay didn’t get served during their performance. I actually thought that was Jay-Z was doing before I recognized him. And is Coldplay winning a Grammy for Viva la Vida the musical equivalent of Barry Bonds being the home run king?

- Was that Lita Ford playing guitar for Carrie Underwood?

- Miley Cyrus should go back to lip-syncing Hanna Montana songs for ten year olds. Singing live just isn’t her strong suit.

- A little part of my soul died watching Stevie Wonder slumming it with the Jonas Brothers. And isn’t Superstition a little too heavy for the teens. Will they be performing Walk on the Wild Side with Lou Reed next year?

- Do we really need a Blink-182 reunion? Certainly their sophomoric rock was fine when you’re twenty-three, but not when you are thirty-three.

- Did I miss the point of My Grammy Moment? Wasn’t it to perform with someone on stage at the Grammy’s, not having your video played on a screen behind someone for about twenty seconds? And one of the Jonas Brothers looked a little too excited during the Katy Perry performance.

- And here is why CBS is the number one network and NBC will be battling The CW soon. During their big event last week, NBC only promoted one night of television, while CBS actually spread out all their shows including upcoming ones. Although if I am Vegas, I setting the Over/Under on Harper’s Island at 5 episodes. That just looks cheesy. And can I go ahead and predict the Bride does it.

- It may be time for a Kanye West intervention. It is never a good sign when you are starting to look and dress like Michael Jackson circa Off the Wall.

- Well at least the Adele/Sugarland wasn’t as bad as when the country band joined Beyoncè onstage for Irreplaceable.

- Why is USC the go to marching band? Certainly being in Los Angeles has something to do with it. But can’t someone give UCLA a little love?

- Shouldn’t T.I. be in jail by now? Since when do we let felons just wonder the country for a couple months before repaying their debt to society? To make maters worse, I have to sit through that horrible Justin Timberlake collaboration. That should add a couple more months to his sentence.

- Holy Neil Diamond sighting. But how do not get an all-star chorus to sing a drunken backup like has happen in every bar for the past thirty years? That could have been the highlight of the show.

- I would like to make it known I am completely against doubling and tripling up the tribute portion of the program.

- And the least surprising part of the night was the Alison Krauss and Robert Plant sweep. And that is your 2009 Grammy’s. Yay.

40 Worst Songs of 2008

A strange thing happened while compiling this year’s worst songs list: I actually had a hard time coming up with forty songs. Usually I can easily come up with a list off the top of my head. I am not sure if it was because there actually didn’t release as many bad songs as usual this year or if I was able to avoid them better this year. But in the end I was actually able to come up with the usual forty to signify the death of Top 40 radio. Here are the songs that made my ears bleed the last three hundred and sixty-five days. Wait, sixty-six, it was leap year. And don’t forget the extra second they are tacking onto the end of this year.

1. When I Grow Up - The Pussycat Dolls

2. Womanizer - Brittney Spears

3. I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry

4. Lollipop - Lil’ Wayne & Static Major

5. Damaged - Danity Kane

6. Higher - Heidi Montag

7. So What - P!nk

8. Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya ) - Ashlee Simpson

9. Official Girl - Cassie featuring Lil’ Wayne

10. Break the Ice - Britney Spears

11. 4 Minutes - Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake and Timbaland

12. Can't Believe It - T-Pain featuring Lil’ Wayne

13. Like Me - Girlicious

14. I’m So Paid - Akon, Lil’ Wayne, and Young Zeezy

15. In the Ayer - Flo Rida featuring will.i.am

16. Ur So Gay - Katy Perry

17. Something in Your Mouth - Nickelback

18. Single - New Kids on the Block featuring Ne-Yo

19. Spotlight - Jennifer Hudson

20. Hot N Cold - Katy Perry

21. Chopped N Screwed - T-Pain featuring Ludacris

22. Nine in the Afternoon - Panic at the Disco

23. Handlebars - Flowbots

24. Feels Like Tonight - Daughtry

25. Got Money - Lil’ Wayne featuring T-Pain

26. Dangerous - Kardinal Official featuring Akon

27. Elevator - Flo Rider

28. What About Now - Daughtry

29. Circus - Britney Spears

30. One Step at a Time - Jordin Sparks

31. Summertime - New Kids on the Block

32. Over You - Daughtry

33. Love in This Club - Usher featuring Young Jeezy

34. Fly on the Wall - Miley Cyrus

35. Sorry - Buckcherry

36. Put On - Young Jeezy featuring Kanye West

37. The Time of My Life - David Cook

38. Falling Down - Scarlett Johansson

39. Pocket Full of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield

40. Crush - David Archuleta

We on Award Tour: 2008 ESPY Awards

The Espy's are so foolproof, even when they get athletes to host it still is pretty entertaining. That adage is put to the test this year when they get Justin Timberlake, who bombed when he team hosted with Stifler at the MTV Movie Awards a couple years back. But let us star
t off with the pre-show first.

- Holy Chris Connelly sighting!

- Erin Andrews has to be one of the most underrated hot chicks out there today. Any of those lame lists by lame magazines that countdown chick and don’t have her in the top ten just isn’t credible. With that said, someone should tell her that the word “bling” died five years ago.

- The Top 5 Meetings need to make it on YouTube sooner than later.

- How does Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo make the Dynamic Duos list? She is the reason his team lost.

- An Under Armour CEO interview? Seriously?

- Adrian Peterson had his draft position drop just by wearing his hat like Antwain Merriwheather.

- Wow, the Espy’s actully started on time this year.

- I know I say this every year, but no award show’s clip package comes close to the ESPY’s.

- Justin Timberlake may not be able to tell a joke, but the Bill Belichicken was funny.

- As much as I love seeing the Giants beat the Patriots over and over again, but Appalachian State was the true biggest upset. And the won on the opposing team, not a neutral site like the Super Bowl.

- They don’t even show the nominees for Best Record Breaking Performance, just give it to Brett Farve. I guess having Big Head Barry also in the category doesn’t make you want to acknowledge him.

- It is not a good sign when you are out acted by Greg Oden. Can we get him to host next year? And that musical number went way too long.

- Who was the nerd sitting next to Kristen Bell? If they need a nerd next to her, why not ask me?

- Suggesting to dig up Harry Carey: not funny.

- Have I ever told the time I met and annoyed Posh Spice?

- Now for the best part of every ESPY’s the Arthur Ashe Award of Courage. But why is Tom Cruise narrating the story of Tommy Smith John and Carlos. Tom aside, the package had a History Channel feel to it.

- Is it ironic that Jason Taylor saying he was doing something to piss off Bill Parcells the day he got traded?

- Jimmy V Award for Perseverance presented by Robin Roberts, someone who know a little about Perseverance. Be sure to check out Jimmyv.org.

- I have no clue what Adriana Lima was doing at the ESPY's, I am just glad she was.

- On the other end of the spectrum, who invited Fergie?

- In the end the New York football Giant complete their sweep winning Best Sweep, Upset, Play and Team. Wait, what, they actually did not win Best Team? Did not see that one coming. But that going to the Boston Celtics does not help the ESPN criticism that they have a New York/Boston bias.

We on Award Tour: 2008 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony

The Rock and Roll of Fame Induction Ceremony has been, since its inception, one the most reliable entertaining show on the awards calendar. But I think starting with this year it is going to get hit or miss and we will be lucky for two great acts being inducted in the same year. It really wasn’t a good sign that this year was headlined by The Dave Clark Five which would have anyone my age or younger asking, “Who?” Granted John Mellencamp, or even Madonna, deserved a higher billing, but that may just be my age bias. Here are some more thoughts on last night’s ceremony and inductees of which you can see in an edited version on VH1 on a week from Saturday:

- Up first is the songwriting team of Gamble and Huff who make the first of two Elliot Spitzer jokes of the night. Seriously, how does a guy that has busted a few prostitution rings in his day not realize just how he could get caught? But anyways, you may Gamble and Huff from such great songs as Me and Mrs. Jones and If You Don’t Know Me By Now.

- Harmonica player Little Walter is next in and shows just how much my harmonica knowledge goes when I expected the dude from Blues Traveler to show up to pay tribute.

- Only two classic cuts and if there was a year that needed the extra classic cuts, this would be it.

- The Ventures make a rare instrumental induction into the Hall (Booker T and the MG’s are the only other ones off the top of my head). Granted the band is way before my time.

- Leonard Cohen is another odd choice for induction, Songwriter Hall of Fame, definitely, Hallelujah is on of the best songs ever written; Rock Hall, that’s a stretch.

- Ever since she was announced as an inductee, I have been going back and forth on whether she deserved it. Yeah she left a lasting impact on the music industry, but for the most part it wasn’t a good one. And after hearing Justin Timberlake induct her, I fall firmly on that she doesn’t deserve in. But it was almost worth it to hear Iggy Pop perform for her. Just keep in mind that unlike Madonna, Iggy isn’t in himself or with The Stooges.

- Seeing Billy Joel induct John Mellencamp was going back to my ealy childhood as that was basically all I listen to back then, only Bruce Springsteen was missing. And they ended up giving the best speeches of the night. Wished John would have invited someone, anyone onstage with him though.

- And you thought Iggy Pop singing Madonna was weird, Joan Jett doing The Dave Clarke Five was almost as odd a choice. Which then led to the most boring all-star jam I’ve witness. But I guess that will happen when there are not that many stars in attendance.

The 9th Green’s Readers Favorite Songs of 2007

Before I get to your favorite songs of the year I first want to mention that just before Christmas I had ordered a gift for someone through Amazon and among the usual spam advertising slips that they stuff into their boxes there was an envelope where you can place old cell phones to send to the troops. So if you got a new cell phone for Christmas or are just like me and is a pack rat who keeps everything for no reason and had three just lying around collecting dust, please check out this website: Cell Phones for Soldiers to see where you can send any of your unused cell phones. They say the phone can be in any condition and don’t even need to still have a battery.

Last year was the first time I ever let you my readers influences the 9th Green (aside from the occasional pandering for comments) and this year I got four times more responses than last. Thanks to each and everyone who took time to compile your favorite songs of the year to make this list possible. With the more responses I think this ended up being a better list for the most part than last year. This year Rihanna was as close to consensus as it got this year being the only artist appearing on more than half of the lists I received. Keep in mind this list is solely your opinions and I in no way influenced it as I will be unveiling my favorite 100 songs of the year coming this Sunday. But here are your favorites:


1. Umbrella - Rihanna featuring Jay-Z

2. Stronger - Kanye West

3. Rehab - Amy Winehouse

4. Young Folks - Peter Bjorn and John

5. The Way I Are - Timbaland featuring Keri Hilson and D.O.E.

6. Radio Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen

7. 1234 - Feist

8. What Goes Around.../...Comes Around - Justin Timberlake

9. Again & Again - The Bird and the Bee

10. U + Ur Hand - P!nk

11. Love Song - Sarah Bareilles

12. Roc Boys (And The Winner Is)... - Jay-Z

13. Bonafied Lovin - Chromeo

14. It's Not Over - Daughtry

15. Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's

16. Lost - Michael Bublé

17. Must Be the Moon - !!!

18. Icky Thump - The White Stripes

19. Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5

20. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne

21. The Ain't a Scene, it's an Arms Race - Fall Out Boy

22. Where I Stood - Missy Higgins

23. Stranger - Hilary Duff

24. Apologize - OneRepublic and Timbaland

25. The Man - Pete Yorn

40 Worst Songs of 2007

It seems as the years go by the music on the radio gets worse and worse thanks in part this year to karaokers, mom rockers, pseudo-punk rockers, and ringtone rappers that polluted the air worse than any Hummer. And can we please stop inviting Akon to sing on every song? In honor of the top 40 radio stations that have ruined radio here are the forty worst songs of the year even though I bet playlists are down to 25-30 songs these day.

Before I get into the worst of this year, I would like to make a special mention of Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya) by Ahslee Simpson which is too new to make this list but has certainly set the bar pretty high (or low depending how you look at it) for the Worst Songs of 2008. But anyways. Feel free to leave the songs that really irritated you this year in the comment section and of course if you disagree with any of my selections, you have the power to influence the 9th Green Reader’s Favorite Songs of 2007 Poll:


1. This Is Why I’m Hot - Mims

2. Big Girl’s Don’t Cry (Personal) - Fergie

3. Piece of Me - Britney Spears

4. It’s Not Over - Daughtry

5. Straight to the Bank - 50 Cent

6. Let Me Talk to You (Prelude) / My Love - Justin Timberlake featuring T.I.

7. Lip Gloss - Lil’ Mama

8. Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin’) - T-Pain featuring Yung Joc

9. U and Ur Hand - P!nk

10. A Bay Bay - Hurricane Chris

11. I Don’t Wanna Be in Love (Dance Floor Anthem) - Good Charlotte

12. Ayo Technology - 50 featuring Justin Timberlake and Timbaland

13. Home - Daughtry

14. Bartender - T-Pain featuring Akon

15. Whatever U Like - Nicole Scherzinger featuring T.I.

16. Gimme More - Britney Spears

17. Amusement Park - 50 Cent

18. Tattoo - Jordin Sparks

19. The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani featuring Akon

20. Glamorous - Fergie featuring Ludacris

21. I Get Money - 50 Cent

22. Chocolate Rain - Tay Zonday

23. Teenagers - My Chemical Romance

24. Crack That (Soulja Boy) - Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em

25. Come to Me - Diddy featuring Nicole Scherzinger

26. Love Stoned / I Think She Knows Interlude - Justin Timberlake

27. Cloths Off!!! - Gym Class Heroes featuring Patrick Stump

28. Over You - Daughtry

29. Sorry, Blame it On Me - Akon

30. Grace Kelly - MIKA

31. Who Knew - P!nk

32. Summer Love - Justin Timberlake

33. Better Than Me - Hinder

34. Walk it Out - Unk

35. Wait for You - Elliot Yamin

36. Don’t Matter - Akon

37. Break Anotha - Blake Lewis

38. So Hott - Kid Rock

39. Get Me Bodied - Beyoncé

40. Don’t Waste Your Time - Kelly Clarkson