57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/22/16

Once Upon a Time: The best part (and really, increasingly the only good part) of the show is the pre-tease break. Except this season they defeated Hades in the anti-penultimate episode and we got a two hour tease of what is to come next. Color me uninterested already. So we meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde who split themselves into two different entities which was just introduced to have the Evil Queen and Regina at the same time. I am guess they are going to explain the Evil Queen did not die from her heart being crushed because she is so evil she does not even have a heart. And how good is purely good Regina if she is willing crush someone’s heart? I was more in in the quick page flip in the books in the library where we saw Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox. I would rather take a trip through American folklore than a severely watered down version of Penny Dreadful.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

House of Lies: It was pretty clear that movie producers in the eighties were doing copious amounts of cocaine by the types of movies they greenlit: a mannequin romantic comedy, one with a dead guy as the main character, both inexplicably got sequels. But the most shocking movie that got made with 20/20 hindsight was the feel good racist comedy Soul Man where noted white dude C. Thomas Howell takes tanning pills to get a scholarship for African-Americans. With all the outrage of blackface and cultural appropriation these days I thought we would never see that storyline ever again. It probably also lessens the outrage by having black guy (with a white mother) play the faker as white people do not care much about whiteface. Though I still do not know how there was not more outrage surrounding White Chicks.

Penny Dreadful: So Vanessa has met Dracula before. I thought we would get a lengthy flashback in a future episode; instead we get a one minute scene tacked on the end of the episode. Maybe it is just a tease for a lot more flashbacks next week. And was that even Dracula? It looked more like Frankenstein’s monster in his previous life without hair. And about Frank, was that remembering his younger self? Bu it looked like that kid was near death. Unless Dr. Frankenstein implanted a child’s brain into the monster’s body. Or maybe he has residual memories of all his body parts. As for his creator, we did learn his buddy’s experiment is only temporary. The question now is has Dr. Jekle already taken his cure or does that come later?

Quantico: No wonder Asher could not make it at Quantico, dude was not even smart enough to jump out of the car before it went over the bridge. But then again, how smart am I for making it all the way through the season?
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: How disappointing that Hugo Strange is implanting new personas in the people he resurrects but Fish Mooney remembers who she was. I thought we were finally going to learn what Batman villain she turns in to. But we did get Clayface… I think.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Blindspot: Wow that was the worst death scene in recent memory. But I guess when you are killed off a show, why bother trying anymore (well except if you hope to get more work somewhere else). But maybe the bigger bombshell was that Kurt’s father confessed to killing Taylor Shaw like everyone thought prior to Jane Doe showing up with markers saying she was and was not Taylor. We do have to wait until the finale to see if this was the ratings of a delusional man or a real bedside confession, but you have to assume it is the latter. Unless, could this be an Orphan Black situation and Jane Doe is a clone of Taylor? That could be really interesting and explain the DNA inconsistencies.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Castle: It was probably for the best that ABC canned this show, most shows have a shelf life of five seasons if they are lucky so eight is enough (bad old person’s pun intended). But oh, was that final scene crammed in. I guess we can assume had the show been renewed and Kate was not returning, she does not survive the gunshot. Actually that scene seemed crammed in to as if they tacked that on after learning Stana Katic was not coming back.
You can download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Gee, and I just got done talking about the worst death scene, this one came pretty close with Hive and low rent Electro bro-ing down before their inevitable deaths. And this is exactly why I hate it when shows open up X amount of time in the future before flashing back, we knew someone die and Yoyo’s cross had something to do with it and then in the last episode five different characters played hot potatoes with it. But of course Electro ended up with it because there can be no happy couples on a Weadon show (Really the only fake out they had was when Fitz had the cross for a scene). But hey at least we finally got rid of Ward… unless he turns out to be what the Irish doctor was working on. Please no. That body did look feminine. A mate for Vision? Also six months in the future Daisy has gone rouge and Coulson is reporting to a director (is that Talbert or is there a new head of SHIELD). And why six months? The show seems to move in real time and six months puts us in November when presumably the season will start in late September. Doctor Strange comes out in November but I doubt there will be much cross over with that movie. I wonder if we will have to wait a month or two until we see that scene and prior to that is Coulson searching for Daisy or in that basically where the season will start?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: All season I have ping-ponged back and forth predicting this character is going to join the cult while that one would be joining. Here we are with one episode left and it looks like I was wrong every time. There was a time I thought FBI guy would join, but after his diatribe with Eddie, that is never going to happen, especially after learning Allison’s husband did die under suspicious circumstances. And Allison looks to be coming back into the fold (although that may not last long after she sees the autopsy. I thought the teens would run away together, and Hawk actually did leave, but sneaky Cal nipped that in the bud. But the biggest transition is Eddie. They teased his moments of doubt early in the season, but mostly re-found his way after time in the program in the room. Was that punch his way of exiting the cult?
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: Usually I have a good sense of how the winds are blowing going into the finals but I was a bit shocked at how Aubrey did not win and it was not even because of that silly evict a jury member (worst twist since Redemption Island). Sure her Final Tribal was less than stellar (how do you not play up how well you adapted after your two biggest allies were pulled from the game?). But congratulations to Michele who did a much better job playing up her underdog role than Aubrey. Poor Tai, does not even get a pity vote. I originally thought it was a bad decision to split the votes and not take Cydney to the final three but in retrospect, I am not sure it matter with Michele winning either way. Maybe Cydney wins the Jury Veto (which is a stretch because for a Brawn, she was not that great in challenges) and bans Julia, then maybe Tai could have gotten Aubrey, Joe, Neil, and Debbie, but I think instead, Michele wins by a larger margin.

But Michele winning was not the biggest shock of the night, seriously, what was Sia doing there? And was that even really her? In real time it sounded to me her accent was coming and going. If it was, Sia just continues to get weirder. Wow. Then we got a tease for next season: Millennials vs. Gen X. Meh. Didn’t the last time they separated end up being an epic fail (that would be the Jimmy Johnson season that was won by Fabio). Probably one of the bottom five seasons of all time. And just by the trailer the Millennials were getting on my nerve already. If they are going to divide by age, I wish they would have done three of four tribes: people in the their twenties, thirties, and forties plus, and maybe fifties plus.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

The Americans: Kind of a throwaway episode because I never thought Reverend Tim was ever in much danger. Really having an emotionally pregnant woman now knowing their secret was the bigger danger. The more ingesting part of the episode was Stan’s old boss getting approached by the KGB. I kind of wanted him to take the offer. Instead he runs through a glass door. Not the best escape plan. It will be interesting how this effects the main storyline.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals III: The first challenge really suck, now this, this is the challenge I have come to know and love, grinding on a bar of soap. Awesome. Not so awesome is replacing LeRoy with some nobodies. Actually worse than nobody, somebody who thinks acting crazy will get them more screen time. More annoying was T.J. canceling the Jungle for no good reason. So that is two of three episodes where no one when home.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals III on iTunes.

The Blacklist: There was never a point where I thought Lizzie was dead, the only question I had was who helped her. I had thought it was whoever was trying to kidnap Lizzie but it ended up being Tom and Red’s henchwoman. And I long assumed the person that was trying to kidnap was her not so dead mother. Nope, wrong again, it was her dad, or someone claiming to be her dad. That puts a crinkle in my long theory that Red was Lizzy’s dad. After the chunkiness of this season (somewhat reasonable due to a real life pregnancy) this sets up a very interesting season four.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Orphan Black: Crystal is quickly moving up my Clone Power Ranking. She almost made me forget there was no Allison this week. Almost. Seriously, do not make me go a week without an Allison fix.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/8/16

Once Upon a Time: Learning how Emma got that silly Thriller jacket is the Jack’s tattoo episode on Lost. It I time to give this show an end date and wrap it up. The promo monkeys also teased a death, it is not Regina or Emma, my first thought was Robin Hood, but then I thought could that funeral we see be just be a cheap ploy and they are just having one for Hook after the fact? I do have a sinking suspicion that whoever does die will be the key to get Hook back to the land of the living.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Fear the Walking Dead: When Strand was carrying that dude back to his hotel, I thought he was holding him a little too cloe and actually thought he might take advantage of him. Strand did, just not in the way I was thinking. Except, flash-forward to the end and he actually does make out with the dude. But why exactly did he run when the other people boarded? Actually, I spent most of the episode thinking I missed something. I rven went back to see if I missed an episode. But no, maybe jut bad editing.
You can download Fear the Walking Dead on iTunes.

Quantico: C’mon, you cannot have a pedophile character on the show and them name him after a sitting governor who was running for president. I do not care about your politics, that is just wrong and really kind of appalling. Then the promo monkeys promised that next week we will learn who the traitor is. Um, did they not reveal that this week? It seemed pretty clear the former football player was the traitor. Unless he had an accomplice.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: Has Galavan’s ears grown since he died? But anyway. We also got a tease of the Mad Hatter with Hugo Strange choosing Alice in Wonderland as a persona for one of his resurrected patients. I wonder if we already met who he read the story to or if we actually get to meet him. Well Captain Barnes needs a way to get back on the show now that he is dead.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Blindspot: Oh my, Chrissy Seaver went full MacGyver defending thee cottage. Although I guess you can say she went full McGruber by blowing it up. Was that really necessary.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Castle: Kind of disappointing that they brought in a Firefly co-star only to be a run of the mill killer of the week. Adam Baldwin really set the bar for shameless guest spots. Actually, since Backett seems like she will not be back next season, how about bringing Baldwin back full time? Oh yeah, I guess his TNT boat show is still on the air.
You can download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Holy Billy Riggins sighting! Although I could have sworn he has been on the show before and if my memory serves me correctly (which it rarely does anymore) he was some random civilian in a restaurant a couple seasons ago. I kind of thought he was going to be a red shirt but he actually made it through the episode. But what was with the lack of fire power in fighting Hive? How about taking a grenade or a rocket launcher, or some alien tech left by the invaders from the first Avenger’s movie? All they brought was regular guns and some laser blaster.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: Alright, things are finally starting to come to ahead. Cal caught Eddie aiding Allison, Mary confronted Cal, Hawk’s girl’s family left the cult, and then Cal up and killed a dude after leaning The Path is a scam. Now Eddie and Hawk are out on a two-hundred and fifty mile walk. Should be interesting to see wear all this goes as the season starts to conclude. I still think Hawk will chose the girl over the cult, Eddie will chose Allison over the cult too. Then there is FBIC guy who may just picked the cult over work, especially if they help his daughter.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: I knew they really should have gotten rid of Tai last week, now he is guaranteed the final four with his Idol. Although after irking everyone this week, I do not think he is as likely to win if he makes the final. They should have blindsided him this week except Joe and Cydney (I think this is the first time I even mentioned either of them; not good for someone who makes it to the final five) were dead set on Jason. So who goes home next week, Tai has the Idol and this is the last he can use it so unlikely he gets any votes. Michelle does look like to be on the bottom but the promo monkeys make it look like she buddies up with Tai. That would be awesome if he give her his Idol and sends home one of the other three. The only thing better would be Michelle laying Ti to get his Idol and then everyone votes him out. Tai does seem that gullible.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

The Americans: So Martha is actually going to make it to Russia. I wonder if we will actually follow her there or that is the last we see of her. If Nina was still around I figure they would run into each other but no fish out of water buddy comedy scenes for those two. Kind of an odd ending, it almost felt like a series finale. Instead it will likely be the calm before the storm.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals III: We usually only get one Challenge per year but when the last season sat nicely in between the Survivor hiatus I suggested that the shows should always alternate. Apparently someone was listening because just as Survivor is running down, we get a surprise season of The Challenge. Rivals and Exes has been some of the most entertaining recent seasons of the show and they sort of combined them with the first ever co-ed version of Rivals (alternating boys and girls eliminations was always silly especially when we are supposed to be considered equals these days). Unfortunately that was one of the most boring first challenges ever. The first time someone dropped their partner was kind of entertaining, but they did not even drop into water (a Challenge staple). And then it just kept on dragging on. I thought around the time Johnny Bananas went, well at least he is the last one, but then there were about four more rounds after that. Ugg. Hopefully they have something better planned for later in the season.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals III on iTunes.

The Blacklist: So this was essentially an introduction for the proposed Tom Keene spin-off with presumably Famke Janssen playing the Red part. We will get more next week, but that better get much interesting because I was kind of meh on the idea so far.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/1/16

Fear the Walking Dead: So Junkie Riggins learned that zombies cannot tell you are living if you are covered in zombie guts. But we have known that for a long time, so what a boring episode. Is this just what the show is going to be, discovering things we already know?
You can download Fear the Walking Dead on iTunes.

Lucifer: So Lucifer dies, goes to Hell, finds the gates are locked and gets to come back to Earth. Alrighty. And then later he says his father gave him the get out of Hell free card that he gave the crooked cop. Huh? But at least we got some intrigue for the next season. At first I thought they were going to pull the annoying fade to black ploy when Lucifer took a dramatic pause when his brother asked who escaped from Hell as for the reason God let him back to Earth. But we did get the one word answer before the season ended, “Mum.” Mmmmmm. Who knew angels had a mother? Unless it is more of a metaphorical mum. I am guessing this “mum” who gave the lady cop her powers to make Lucifer more human.
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: The show actually managed to combine my two least favorite plots these types of shows do: the school shooting and authoritarians taking advantage of kids.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Castle: Having a guy cheating death was entertaining, but c’mon, surviving a bullet to the head? That was a bit much. I did peg the crush as the baddie of the week, she was way too quick to accept a date and then plan it for a half an hour later.
You can download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: So we got to learn the power of the Australian dude this week: he is some sort of microwave man who can turn anything into a bomb. I guess that is kind of cool for a bad guy but the idea of a superpower was always going to be more interesting than whatever you actually get. But that was really the only interested thing that happened this week. Seriously, how anticlimactic was the team taking down Hydra?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: Oh yeah, Hawk is leaving the cult for the chick. Except the only problem is that her family might be joining. This may be a runaway situation by the end of the season.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: And here in lies the big problem with recent seasons of Survivor, contestants have learned not to vote out the annoying people because you can win against them in the finals. So Jason gets a pass despite being the obvious choice while the tribe cuts loose the eye candy. Hurmph. But really what should had happened was when whoever broached the subject (I think it was Aubrey but am too lazy to look it up) everyone else should have realize, she is going to take Jason to the finals instead of me, we should get Aubrey out, and then I can take Jason to the finals. But the editors actually got me to think Cydney and other hot chick were going to flip. That was the right choice in my eyes. It is better to be in a four person alliance with someone who has no chance of getting any jury votes besides Scot than possibly fourth and fifth in a five person alliance with two people likely to beat you in the finals (Tai and Aubrey) especially since one has an Idol and an unknown to you advantage. Sure worst case scenario he plays the Idol and then uses his extra vote to break a three-three tie next week, except he did not play his Idol and you could have gotten him out.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

The Americans: Meh, we basically ended where we started, Martha back in the safe house with nothing changed except Henry getting his first beer. Something better happen next episode.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Very noticeable that Lizzie had a closed casket. It was also interesting that Aram was talking about standing over an empty grave with Red. So are we going to have to wait until the season finale to see a not so dead Elizabeth? Only three episodes to find out.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 2/27/16

Shameless: One thing I have learned from watching the Gallagher's i that even when things start to be looking up, things will still end up being worse. Except for Lip, dude continues to fail upwards. First, he is the only Gallagher that was able to get out and this week he gets fired from his Resident Assistant job and managed to land a better gig as house boy at a sorority. And yet he still messes it up but pining over the old married woman while blowing off the hot sorority sister. You are living the dream Lip, why are you messing up for the rest of us? So instead of participating in a pillow fight, the best scene of the week ended yup being Frank giving another impassioned speech during a suspension hearing (there was one with Carl a couple seasons ago which was just as good). But a close second goes to whoever decided to put subtitles when Carl was talking to his homies. Now I know what is "poppycock" is translated to in urban.

The Walking Dead: Rick and Michonne... who saw that coming? I guess they have been living together for a while now and she treats Carl like a son so it i not that surprising. I guess the big question is which one of them will die in the season finale. You know there is no way they are going to end up happy. Okay, that is probably aa stupid question, of course it will be Michonne they kill of, like a wise man said, always bet on black, especially when it comes to who will die next on this show.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: What a great line about Chuck and Brody sniffing each other and not liking the smell. It was at that point I knew neither would back down even though Wendy pointed out to both of them this could easily go away. The big question as both looked to be willing to sit at the table would be which would be first to go back on their word. Despite saying he would never admit guilt (though how is forfeiting over a billion dollars not an admission of guilt?) Brody still ate it so it was Chuck who went over the line first (or twice if you include the admission of guilt thing) by demanding Brody never trade on the stock exchange ever again leading Brody to rip up the check, throw it in Chuck's face, and listen to more Metallica. But lost in the long game of chicken between Brody and Chuck was another great scene with the guy from the attorney General's office calling out Chuck for going too soft on Axe because of his wife before saying he was going hard after Brody because of his wife. Great question, just how much of this is about his wife, we do know they both enjoy pain.

Mercy Street: With historical dramas I tend to wait until the end of the series to look up really happen because I do not want to look up what happened in the real Deadwood only to find out someone was probably going to die soon. So I do wonder if there really was an attempt to blow up the hospital or was that just added for poetic licence. I am guessing that is the latter because how would anyone know what did not happen? I doubt the guy went home and rote in his journal about almost assassinating the president but did not go through with it to keep a friend from being collateral damage.
You can download Mercy Street on iTunes.

Supergirl: Of course the day I post about the absurdity of Irish names a Sloboden (but sounds like Chevonne) shows up on television that night, though the actress does not look to have any Irish in her. But anyway. A couple of off comments this week which are kind of annoying. First there was a conversation between Hank and Alex mentioned the villain of the week was a bounty hunter but not THAT bounty hunter. My mind first went to Boba Fett but that is not going to happen. I take it they were probably talking about Lobo butif so, just say his name. I guess they did not because they do not have permission to use the charachter which is getting kind of annoying on the comic book shows. Then Kara said there was another city that has people with masks, which again just name the city. Stop being coy. Again I have o guess she was referring to one of the cities depicted on one of the half dozen crappy CW shows. Meh.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

The X-Files: After the drag of the season premiere, I actually enjoyed the following episode, unfortunately, and inevitably, they had to end the season with the same story line. And had to bring back Agent Reyes who apparently was been the Cigarette Smoking Man's personal servant for the past decade. I Do not even want to know what the T-1000 was up to since then. Then they just had to end on a cliffhanger. Hurmph. So what was in the spaceship? Scully and Mulder's kid. If it come back, just wrap that story line up quick and just focus on monster of the week cases after that.
You can download The X-Files on iTunes.

Castle: Really, everyone know of the sociology experiment from years ago, but not one person thinks of Saw? Alrighty. And I really should be consulting for the NYPD, because I had that dude pegged early on as the guy running the experiment. C'mon, he had no loved one on the other side. But then again, it was a good thing I was not trapped in the room because my first instinct when the gun showed up was to shoot the bullets in the wall so no one could shoot me later. That would have backfired miserably, quite literally.
You can download Castle on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have long known that none of these girls are Veronica Mars so I have accept their utter stupidity from time to time, but c'mon, when the hole in Sara's hotel room gets plastered up, seriously, no one thought to show Allison the back door to Radley?
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Marvel's Agent Carter: Obviously Vinnie Van Lowe is great, but I really wanted more of his mother. The dance sequence at the start of the second episode was a nice touch too. Great ending with Rose saying she was not good enough for the fake talent agency. Too bad they did not work that into the show more often because the fake talent agency was comedy gold in the first episode.
You can download Marvel's Agent Carter on iTunes.

Survivor:Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: Maybe the most annoying part of Survivor is when everyone knows who is going home and yt the editors plant the seed of someone else may also be on the chopping block just to have some suspense at Tribal only for the obvious pick goes home ninety percent of the time. After flubbing last week's vote, obviously the Brawn tribe would actually get rid of Barbie this week. Sure an all-girl alliance seemed like a good idea (especially considering three tribe seasons get mixed up pretty early) so that actually seemed like. Except not only was it not the obvious pick that went home, or even the alternative that producers float to add a little suspense to Tribal, but maybe for the first time ever (not including Idol canceling votes) a third option was the person that went home. Wow, I cannot think of a worse Tribal performance in the history of the show except maybe the dude who basically handed a million dollars to the porn star in Thailand when he attacked the jury. This girl somehow managed to get three people to change their votes at tribal. People changing their votes at Tribal probably happens less than once a season (again, without an Idol in play or being threatened) and here it happened three times at the same Tribal. I did not think any tribe could be as dysfunctional as the last Brains tribe, but this season's Brawn tribe is trying hard. They are really one rice dump away. Seriously, how did they lose that challenge? Is there any bigger lay up for a Brawny tribe than carrying a sixty pound log a half a mile? I was expecting a drop off from the epic last season, but we are off to a strong start. Really my only gripe so far is the cat lady needs to go home sooner than later.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

The Blacklist: So what was in the envelope that Red burned? It has to be info on Lizzie's mom right? But why burn it? And why destroy something on screen that we the viewers will now never know what the contents were?
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/18/15

Once Upon a Time: Why is Snow White so quick to believe Sir Lancelot, this is clearly a different dude (wait, was that the same guy poising as an usher at the beginning of the season who told Emma not to pull the sword from the stone)? But anyway. I am beginning to think King Arthur is not who he says he is, maybe he is Merlin in disguises and the real King Arthur is in the tree. But what is bugging me is that all the new characters that come to Storybrooke never change their clothes anymore. Can't they get the Camelotians a change of clothes?
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: My favorite part of the early season was when the leaker was talking about how the German spies were probably searching her apartment right now and she did not mind as long as they did not let her cat out, cut to the German spy deadpanning, "Did you see a cat?" Awesome. I also found it interesting that the one guy accused Carrie of being a Trojan Horse for Saul in the evil foundation. That would totally be something they would do (and kind of did in season three when he sold her out to the Senate). But their interaction during their first interaction was too raw and there was no one around for it to be for show (but then again Carrie looked stunned when Saul sold her out to the Senate and no one was around then either). Another great scene was when the German Bureau Chief called out Saul for doing anything for Carrie whenever she messed up but quickly sold her out after one mistake. It is about time someone did that. But the big question is who want Carrie dead? Is the CIA too obvious?

The Walking Dead: Last week I called the plan from the season finale of Fear the Walking Dead the dumbest idea in the history of dumb ideas, but the main show came close. Would it have not been wiser to just set the whole lot on fire instead of Pied Pipering them to... where exactly were they leading all the zombies? Of course, as I have said many times before, if these characters were smart it would be a very boring show.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Quantico: Wait, the gay dude (who is probably not even gay) is in cahoots with Jacob from Lost? Huh, that makes little to no sense and just a shock for shock sake. If your secret agent knows where the suspect is, who not send in the SWAT team? Which probably means Jacob is in on the whole conspiracy. And why is she still on the run anyway, doesn't the fingerprint thing just exonerate her?
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: Wait, did I just see a grown man punch a teenage girl on national television? That is messed up.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: I really do not like the Battle Round, they just seem to drag on since they went from four Battles per hour to three after the first season. I figured I would just watch the episode On Demand later and watched other programming live (I still watched the second hour Monday live thanks to the lack of anything else on at the time). Except when I went to watch On Demand, I just went, nope, cannot watch this crap anymore after the boring hour I already sat through. So I just watched the YouTube versions, so overextended training clips and stop watching when the coaches start talking in hyperbole about how great the performances are just to sit on their hands when Carson tells them the losing singer is available for a Steal. Plus the two bald jokes I already heard got old real quick.

Even condensing those two hours into less than twenty minutes on YouTube (seriously, there were 180 minutes of the show airing this week and only something less than a half an hour are devoted to people actually performing) this week was quite dreadful. The only thing more shocking then Blake picking Zach (I agree with Blake more than any other coach, but I disagreed with each of his decisions) was that Battle was not montaged. Seriously, just how bad were those montaged Battles that they were possibly worse than that Battle. I have a hard time believing it was worse than Madi vs. Sydney, two of my five favorite Blind Auditions this season. Then you had Ivonne vs. Siahna Im which definitely would have been montaged had Gwen and Blake inexplicably pushed their Steal buttons. That was not even the most head scratching Steal Gwen tried this week as giving Regina Love a second chance was mostly unnecessary, not that any of the other loser were really worthy of one either. Can we please just montage the rest of the Battle Round and go straight to the Knockout Round next week please?

Blindspot: I tune into this show mostly to see Lady Sif beating dudes up but maybe one of the few things more entertaining than that is seeing two dudes in HAZMAT suits trying to beat each other up. My favorite part was hen FBI guy reached for his gun and realized, oh wait, I am wearing a HAZMAT suit. But the more serial aspects of the show got really confusing. Seriously, carbon dating teeth can tell you where someone was born? What? If true, does it make the most sense that Lady Sif's teeth were replaced? And while I am predicting things, Chrissy Seaver's boyfriend has to be evil, right? The boring significant other on conspiracy shows are always evil.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Castle: I saw it coming a mile away because I thought early on that the blind priest was going to be involved, but still, the sight of a "blind" priest runnung away was still hilarious.
You can download Castle.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: My favorite part of the episode was when the went subtitles for the Cockneys. But I had to wonder when Fitz showed up right after that scene why they do not subtitle him too but he is unintelligible at times. I was very disappointed that Simmons did not even bring back a parasite or anything and thought we were going to go through a season of watching her get back to normal like Fitz last season, but thankfully the end credits scene she had a Jack from Lost moment saying we have to go back. It would have been a total waste of a cliffhanger if we never say that planet, or any of it inhabitants again. But why exactly does she want to go back? Is the English guy from the opening of last episode still there? Did she befriend an anthropomorphic duck?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: How disappointing that Abi Maria did not flip alliances for the forth straight episode. I was actually begining to think this may actually be the episode that the tide turned against Abi Maria, but shockingly her name did not come of across anyone's lips (well aside from when Abi Maria reminded Woooooooooooooo not to write her name; classic Abi Maria). Almost as surprising was that everyone played the short game and booted Jeff because Wooooooooooo is better at challenges. I get booting Jeff because he is slippery, but how do you even know you would have another swap before your next challenge? Probst could swap tribes every two weeks until the merge. But before that, that was a boring Reward Challenge. If you are going to only have one person per tribe participate, at least let the other tribes pick who does it. It would have been much more entertaining had it been Abi Maria vs. Cierra, vs. Kimmi bumbling their way threw a challenge instead of three alpha males.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: I like how the alt-rock dude just called out everybody's dirty laundry. Though I was surprised when he met Layla he did not say, oh yeah, you are the reality star with the gay husband, right? Hopefully he sticks around long enough to cover Juliet's latest album in its entirety in the vein of Joy Division.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Again, the show seriously needs a "previously on" package. I remember Pee Wee Herman was on the last season, but I barely remember who he was on the show.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/11/15

Fear the Walking Dead: Well that had to be the dumbest idea in the history of bad ideas to let out an arena full of zombie and lead them into the building you are trying to sneak in to. Certainly there had to be a better plan out there than that. And that ocean looked pretty blood red which is ominous for the next season.
You can download Fear the Walking Dead on iTunes.

The StrainWith everyone converging on the Luman I predicted someone would die. I was right and wrong, no one going after the book perished but the show befuddingly killed off the two hot chicks. Hurph.
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Quantico:Of course the dude did not die in the future, but I guess it is better than waiting until the middle of the season to reveal that like the first season of Revenge. Then my favorite twist from the premiere the twin Arabs got a little less interesting after learning they were brought in by the Assistant Director. And it is too obvious of a prediction that the gay dude is not really gay and just wants to be the first openly gay recruit? I would not be at all surprised if he does not hook up with one of the Arab Twins before Christmas.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: Barbra and Tigress, oh my. I know we the audience know he is evil, but c'mon, did no one notice how bad Galavan and Jerome were interacting in their interaction? At least they killed the latter because he was really becoming the annoying. But Alfred flirting with Dr. Tomkins really made this episode.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: Only one episode this week but the final Auditions did bring a couple of great song choices before the coaches take over and pick the same tired songs (Ain't No Mountain High Enough and yet another Sam Smith song were featured in the promo, le sigh). The last gasp song first ever songs from the catalogs of Tom Waits, Gary Clark Jr., Wonderwall (darn you montage) and whoever you want to credit Dream a Little Dream to, Mama Cass probably being the most famous. But we hay have had our worst Blind Audition of the season when someone had the audacity to try to cover The Scientist. Um, no, Holly Henry owns that cover; it should be retired to The Voice Hall of Fame (to a lesser extent Shelby Brown was alright, but she is no Amanda Brown).

Blindspot: Well that was shocking. I expected bearded dude to be an integral part of the show and they just killed him off. But who exactly was he telling Lady Siff not to trust? I thought he was talking about the FBI but was he not the one who sent her to them? We do know he wiped her memory, but maybe he did not put the tattoos on her. Mmmm, this show is slowly getting interesting. At least we got confirmation that Lady Siff is the FBI dude's childhood friend (which ironically made me a little suspicious that maybe she is not for the first time; though I still think his father was/is involved) so they are not drawing out that storyline.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Castle: I guess I read the Kate leaving situation wrong, she was not leaving town to catch the bad guys, just leaving Castle to keep him safe. Alrightly. But it turns out I am kind of right with Alexis turning into Veronica Mars. Not only did she go blonde but investigated a Stanford Prison Experiment, something Ronnie did in season three. And if Halloween lasts all month like Kate suggests, does that mean we get three more weeks of Angel Alexis? I would not have any problems with that.
You can download Castle.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Well that was disappointing. I was hoping that we would get more of Gemma on the other planet, maybe running into otherworldly characters in the Marvel universe. Instead we got maybe two minutes on the other planet. We did not even get to see what was chasing her last week. Meh. Maybe she brought back a parasite or two.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor:Second Chances: For those keeping track at home, there have been three episodes and Abi Maria has switched alliances three times. Awesome. Seriously, how do you have a four to two advantage in the numbers and then have three of them being the only three discussed in going home. You would think having all returning players would cut down on the stupid mistakes but this has been the most wild season after three episodes maybe ever. On paper taking Abi Maria to the finals is a sound strategy because no one would vote for her but everyone she is aligned with keep on getting voted out the very next episode. I cannot wait to see who she turns on next week.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Modern Family: Boooooooo. I was hoping Dylan was going to move in permanently.
You can download Modern Family on iTunes.

The Blacklist: So Ressler would not stop the Russian limo because it was tantamount to invading Russian soil to arrest Lizzie, but he had no problem possibly starting World War III to save her life. I love the logic on the show.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/4/15

Once Upon a Time: Seriously, who brings a baby into a twister bound restaurant to another land? But anyway. I kind of liked the ending even though it probably means for the first part of the season we will probably get split story lines from present day and six months ago.

Ray Donovan: So the pop Armenian singer did not work? Maybe I should have guessed that you should not trust Armenian gangsters to keep their word. I was a bit surprised that the FBI guy did not come back at all, Ray did shoot and left him by the side of the road. Maybe next season. Instead we had to spend too much time with Bridget and her teacher who, yes, crossed the proverbial line, but did not do so with two feet. But they did go back to the priest whose storyline was dropped halfway through the season, but no Arayians who were dropped around the same time. But I am guessing Ray going back to the Lord will not last by the time season four comes around.

Fear the Walking Dead: Wait, are the two step siblings going to hook up. That is kind of ew. And why trash the house, just live there? It is much nicer than the one you are living in and the owners are not coming back. And why do I care more about some silly throwaway scene more than the revelation that they are going to "humanely" kill off the civilian population.

Masters of Sex: Oh wow, Bill gave up on Virginia. So does that mean the Little Brown Man (when Betty first said this I was like "oh my" as I did not know that Little Brown was a publishing house) goes nuclear at the press party telling the press about Bill's legal trouble? It it plausible with how the show does time jumps that Bill could spend some time in prison (like the last two summers I am going to stay away from the spoiler zone that is his Wikipedia page). Then there are the questions of the state of his marriage, whether Virginia marries the scent king, and Bill's legal troubles. It actually may be harder not to look at spoilers this time around.

The Strain: I would not all be disappointed if the show devolved into the Gus and Angel show. It would be better than bring back the rat that sits on Eph's head. And it was a different wig to. I wonder if Corey Stoll burned the anime looking original wig and when it came time for the flashback the costume department just had to grab a random one off the rack. I joked earlier this season that they were not going to kill someone off right after including an opening credits sequence (which aired just that one time randomly) but someone has to die next week, right? With everyone descending on the Luman it is hard to think all the players get out alive. Sadly I think it may be the Nazi Vampire (who would have guessed three years ago I would be sad someone killed a Nazi vampire?).
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Quantico: When I saw the previews I wrote that best case scenario it was going to be Homeland season four; worst case scenario: Homeland season three. After one episode it looks much more like season three. Actually it may be worse, it may be more like some crappy Shonda Rhimes show where absurdly attractive professionals have sex with each other in between twists upon twists even if those twists are extremely obvious or make little to no sense. Really the only twist I liked from the premiere (even though it fell into the makes no sense category) was the Muslim twins. I also do not like the storytelling devise of flashing back to the first days of Quantico mixed with a blown up building. Why not tell a linear story of the first days of the FBI and then blow up the building in the season or mid-season final? But I will continue to watch. And let me go ahead and predict the FBI trainer guy is the one setting up the hot Indian chick. Either him or "Taylor Swift" because it will either be the most obvious or one that makes little to no sense.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: So the big new from the show this week was that Jim Gordon and Leslie Thompkins are having a kid. Well not on the show but the actors are in real life. Alright. I wonder if that will be written into the show or she will be hiding behind medical tables soon or maybe she will be kidnapped in the second half of the season. As for the actual show, so a bunch of cheerleaders are about to be set on fire but no one thought to go out the fire door?
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: The first couple seasons were mostly enjoyable, I made it through the whole season for the first and third seasons (I have to skip the disastrous second season finale). Since then I usually am out sometime around the time the show goes live. I usually fault this on the lack of good singers because in those first three seasons the openly recruited seasoned professionals but since has been more of American Idol type show with mostly armatures (seriously who are there some many teenagers with braces this season?). In the first three seasons there were about twelve different singers on the show who were already in my music library before they auditioned by since that number is one (and she was montaged off the show).

Then this week I was kind of bored again with the same old mediocre teenagers doing boring and bland karaoke versions of songs. And then they introduced another rocker nanny, which we have seen a few times on the show (remember the good old days when Alicia Keys backup singers were the cliche; have we run out of Alicia Keys back up singers?). But then rocker nanny mentioned she used to be in a band called Sleeper Agent. Wait, what? Not only were they in my music library, their song Get Burned was #22 on my list of The 100 Best Songs of 2012. Okay so her Blind Audition was not great, but if she makes it around to the Knockout Round maybe they will actually let her perform Get Burned.

Last week I mentioned how the Blind Auditions bring out some awesome song selections (before devolving into the same overused catalog in the Battle that get more tired the closer to the finale) and this we got first ever songs on the show from Cheap Trick, Mountain, Cameo, Andrew McMahon In the Wilderness, oh yeah, and someone auditioned with the Rollergirl theme song. That was definitely the most random song choice since someone sang The Jeffersons Theme Song.

Blindspot: Well that is and interesting plot that Lady Sif may be someone from the FBI's past (whom his father was accused of kidnapping and murdering). I do fear this may play out like The Blacklist where there was overwhelming evidence that Red is Lizzie's father only for Red to deny it for two seasons. I am guessing the DNA match will come up negative next week but still tease that that is what happen. The show would be much interesting if it turns out FBI guy's dad did actually kidnap Lady Sif and was the one who trained her.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Castle: Wait, what just happened, is Kate leaving the show or are we getting two separate story lines every week, case of the week and Kate looking for the real killers? I mentioned last week offhandedly I would not mind if the show switched into a Veronica Mars, father daughter PI dynamic with Castle and Alexis but I did not actually think it might happen.
You can download Castle.

Marvel's Agents of S.I.E.L.D.: So over their summer vacation Fitz went from brain damaged to Indiana Jones. Alrighty. While I have spent all summer trying to figure out what happened to Gemma and a black hole portal that bends space and time never once crossed my mind. Hopefully the end of this storyline is not as bad as the ending to Intersteller. But anyway. I am not that familiar with Marvel comics so I am not entirely sure where she is and even though cinematic characters rarely show up, I will be slightly disappointed if we do not see one of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Hey, Bradly Cooper has shown willingness to show up on crappy televised versions of his movies. I would even be content with the cosmonaut dog or even Howard the Duck.I was interested in the clock counting down until the Inhumans reach one hundred percent but there are no Marvel movies coming out February 2017 (assuming my math is right) but the next movie after that is the second Guardians movie, not that Gemma will still be around by then (unless this is like the Intersteller water planet where hour equaled like five Earth years). Plus we are still four years away from an Inhumans movie. Speaking of which, the new big bad is effectively scary in a Buffy monster of the week kind of way.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: After thirty season, Survivor has become a well oiled machine that I can recognize every beat that it hits. But that last segment was a weird one. When Varner teased before the break that Shirin and Spencer sealed their fate, I have been conditioned to think either 1) his plan will go horribly wrong or 2) the show will may think think someone is going to flip but ended up towing the line. So when Abi Maria actually told Shirin she was probably going home I though, uh oh, you never tell someone that, now those two will scramble to get someone out. So when they talked to Wooooooooooooo I thought we would get Wooooooooooo saying that maybe he should weigh his option, but no, he shut them down right then. So when they walked to Tribal Council I thought, okay, Abi is going to go full crazy Brazilian chick and get people to turn on them. But no. The dominate alliance did not even mess up splitting the vote. So not only is the show playing with the contestants this season (two twists in the premiere and the promos spoiling another big one next week) they are playing with the viewer's expectations too. And I kind of like it.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: I wonder why they did not kill Deacon's sister last week but I guess they just waited a week.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: This show really needed a previously on package. It is hard enough for me to remember last week let along what happen three or four months ago. But, oh my, blonde Lizzy.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/10/15

Mad Man: I do not care that an organ just randomly popped up in the desolate offices of Sterling Cooper and Partners, I am just glad it did because those were some of the best scenes in the history of the show, especially Peggy drunkenly roller skating around. Don, on the other hand, chasing down the waitress' ex-husband was not.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Revenge: Holy Abbott reunion! Nice of Amy to retain the services of her father after getting arrested. It is weird to think both of the Abbott children are now superheroes. But anyway. Oh yeah, Courtney Love the hitman that I believe Margot hired to kill Emily is still out there and for some reason she is hanging out with a not so surprisingly not dead Victoria. Does Courtney also do security too and that is why she is there or is she there in a hitman capacity? Thankfully there is only one episode left ever.
You can download Revenge on iTunes.

American Odyssey: I was harsh on the the premiere because it was looking like another rich people are evil and will stay in power by any means necessary type story, something we have seen many times before and done much better. And yeah, that story line is still kind of annoying, but the show has managed to get more entertaining thanks to the transvestite Arab television star who seduces the Malian general for help. Yeah the show has not gotten to Homeland levels of absurdity yet (you know Carrie would have seduced Aslam by now) but at least it has gotten watchable.
You can download American Odyssey on iTunes.

Gotham: What a cluster of a finale, and yet it was still very enjoyable. That was one of the best chick fights in recent memory. I cannot remember a time before when a character has had that many personality changes in one season than Barbra did this season. Where do they actually go from here with her? You pretty much has to turn her into a supervillian at this point because it is hard to redeem her at this point after attacking the good doctor. And there seems to be some darkness lurking in the doctor too, knowing to beak the mirror to make a weapon to banging Barabra's way more than she really had too.

But my favorite part was all twists at the Falcone "safe house." Just when you thought it was the end, some one else would turn or someone else would randomly find a gun. My favorite point was Harvey just hanging out in the gallery while his partner still was hung by a meat hook.

My two biggest problems were they really just shoehorned in the Riddler, they might as well have just ended the last episode with that scene and left him out of the finale where it felt out of place. Then the ending was just annoying because they teased that scene about three or four weeks ago.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Castle: I was really hoping Carly Rae Jepsen, as her self, was going to turn out to be the killer. Instead it just turned out to be the accountant. Yawn.  Seriously, why even go on a cop show if you do not get to be the killer?

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Well that was a tense meeting. You had to figure something bad was going to happen, the big question was what. Ward with the twin jet seemed like the most likely considering Raina's premonition; Raina herself was another contender; you of course could not count out the two people meeting, both seemed to be on the right side but a little shady. Now just how long will this SHIELD / Inhumans war goes on? Is it over at the end of the season which is just two hours away, or does this drag into next season (or does it drag on until the Inhumans movie comes out in, oh goodness, 2019, eleven Marvel movies away)?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Blue Collar vs. White Collar. vs. No Collar: When the vote came down to Dan and Tyler I figured Dan had to use his special vote now right and hope Mike and Seirra also vote Tyler just in case? Shockingly not only does he keeps it in his pocket he does not even vote for Tyler, sticking with the Mike split vote. Tyler even did the same thing. Wow, those two were morons. But the biggest part of the episode happened during the commercial break when Probst announced the next season of Survivor will be Second Chances with us the viewing public voting. This got me excited until I saw the list which was fifty percent who and thirty percent why. But, hey, at least they included Ciera, the most entertaining contestant of the past decade. On the other hand there was Mike and Carolyn, and since this is a second chance season of non-winner it pretty much means neither of them will be winning this season (after someone asked him about it, Probst said if either of them win, their votes would be null and void, but c'mon, they already knew if those two won or not why include them if they did; and anyway, who would even vote for Carolyn anyway?). Here are the twenty people I will be voting for everyday until the finale:

Kelly Wiglesworth
Peig-Gee Law
Monica Padilla
Natalie Tenerelli
Mikayla Wingle
Sabrina Thompson
Abi-Maria Gomes
Ciera Eastin
Tasha Fox
Kelley Wentworth (after seeing them on the same list, maybe Kelly Wiglesworth and Kelley Wentworth on the same season will be extremely confusing; I may switch to Shirin instead)

Jeff Varner
Andrew Savage
Stephen Fishbach
Troyzan Robertson
Vytas Baskauskas
Woooooooooooooooooooooooo Hwang
Spencer Bledsoe
Jeremy Collins
Keith Nale
Max Dawson
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

The Blacklist: It seems like I have been lost most of the season having little to no clue. I again had trouble keeping up with most of this episode until everything finally became clear at the end when it seemed like the whole season was leading up to Lizzie being outed as a Russian spy. A little clunky getting there, but hopefully it plays out a lot better. Maybe Lizzie should get on that boat with Tom.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channel and Only This Is On: 4/25/15

Orphan Black: Oh Allison, how have I missed you. Now that Raylan Givens has retired to Florida, you are now the best character on television. But I did not appreciate them teasing that she might die. Not cool.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Once Upon a Time: When Ursala got her happy ending with papa Winston Zedmore, I theorized Cruella who have some sappy reunion with her puppies. Boy was I far off from that. So is Emma really going to turn dark and she will end up being the Big Bad next season kind of like the Willow season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Oh hey, Creepy Glen, of course you get to come back to say goodbye one last time. Usually I would complain about him, but there was such a big gathering of horrible acting in that lobby season that it was almost entertaining. But not as entertaining as Don telling his realtor how to sell his apartment. Too bad they could not string that out for the last couple episodes.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Revenge: Oh snap, Victoria actually killed herself in hopes that Amanda takes the fall. Bold move. I just hope they do not try bring her back saying she made it out in time and then planted another body there to make people think it was her. That would make it the second time that the writers wanted us to think Victoria died when she did not really.
You can download Revenge on iTunes.

Gotham: And there in lies the problem with prequils: where is the suspense that Barbara is going to be the Ogre's next victim when anyone familiar with the comic knows she is going to survive long enough to marry Jim (um, spoiler alert for those not familiar with the comics)? Though I do wish the writers were actually bold enough to kill off Barbara because she has been pretty worthless as a character so far.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Castle: Oh yeah, I forgot the season started off with Castle with amnesia that they never figured out. Maybe they should have kept it that way because the explanation was pretty thin. Sadly I do not believe that saga is over.
You can download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Meh, I really wished they killed Ward off back in season one along with Garrett, him now playing both sides is just silly. The only way to make it worse if they do wipe his memories and make him a good guy again.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Blue Collar. vs. White Collar. vs. No Collar: Ooooh, a new twist. So Dan can add an extra vote whenever he wants (or did they give a final date like they do with the Hidden Immunity Idol). Could be interesting. But it could end up like the Hidden Immunity Idol which has become inconsequential because if someone in the majority alliance has it, it never gets used, if it is in the minority alliance, that person is just voted out at a later date. The only time I could remember an Idol having any bearing on a season was when Paravti whipped out two during the Heroes vs. Villains season.

The other big news is Mike turned out to be an even bigger idiot than I thought. Seriously, if you are not going to buy the letter from home, then just say you are not going to do it, ad if you are stupid enough to try and lie about it, do not go back on it. Between that and his blow up after the action, this may have been one of the dumbest power moves in the history of the game. All he had to do was pull Sierra and Dan aide, point out the Masshole's four person alliance, say that if they vote out Shirin and Jenn, we would be the next three so we should recruit Shirin and Jenn, vote out the flippers, then vote out Shirin and Jenn for an all Blue Collar Final Three. Instead he managed to get booted from his alliance and did not even get the extra vote from the auction. Moron.
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

Black-iah: Was it not enough for Michael Rappaport to ruin Justified last year, he had to bring down the funniest show on television too?
You can download Black-ish on iTunes.

The American: Oooh, Paige talk Pastor Tim about her parents. Yet I will feel this will not end up with them being caught but it will be like when Martha learned of her husband and nothing will come of it. Look at Stan, just like I predicted, his correspondence with Oleg will make him look like the buy who planted the bug, but not only does he not get arrested for treason, he gets a promotion. I really wish someone will actually get caught soon.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: Sure Christina Aguilera cannot act, but that three way cat fight in the bathroom was almost as entertaining as the bad acting meet on Mad Men this week. I always thought Layla made a much better foil to Juliet than Rayna, it is nice that the writers are finally figuring that out again.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/18/14

Once Upon a Time: C’mon, you cannot have a Marty McFly reference and not have Emma’s hand start to disappear after she keeps her parents from meeting. And I thought after they made a big deal about Charming falling in love with Snow White after seeing the ring on her finger, I thought when Emma found the ring, she would put it on and her father would fall in love with her kind of like when Marty’s mom tried to have sex with him. But that is one of those only in the eighties type storyline.

It seemed pretty obvious to me the unnamed prisoner would end up being what fairytale property the show would exploit next season. Being that she was slightly ethnic, I was thinking Jasmine from Aladdin except Once Upon a Time: Wonderland went there and I doubt the writers will want to return there after it bombed massively. I was way off; she turned out to be Maid Marian and will just be a catalyst to turn Regina slightly evil again. The big surprise to me was that Emma told Rumplstiltkin that his son dies in the future and he does not do anything about it (that we know of yet), he just drinks his forgetful drink and makes a funny joke. So Neil may actually stay dead even though it does not seem like Rumplestiltkin to let that stand.

So I wrong the person that Emma brought back from the past would predict where the show is going next season (it turns out the actress has been on the show in a previous season, but just did not leave much of a mark), the actual tease for season four turned out to be, um, I had to look it up, Princess Elsa from Frozen? Alrighty. Have they really run out of fairytales to exploit, they have to do one that is not even a year old?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: A couple weeks ago a hot blonde approached Don saying she knew him but he had no clue who she was. I originally thought that was his “niece” up until she started to hit on her. I still assumed the resemblance was not a coincidence. The niece actually showed up this week for the first time in a long while, which of course make me think of her doppelganger a couple weeks ago. Was the other more together the idealist version of her than Don remembered and the knocked up hippie was the reality? Granted that juxtaposition does not really work because Don did not actually see the new “niece” but that could be because he can still remember her the way she was. Not that any of this mattered because Ginsberg cut off his nipple to keep the computer from communicating with him. What the frack!?!
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Revenge: After a pleasurable, albeit guilty type of pleasurable, first season, this show hit a sever sophomore slump due in part to the lack of takedowns. I also blamed the lack of enjoyment of the inclusion of Aiden. Every ten episodes or so he would have a spat with Emily, leave the Hamptons, but would always find his way back after a episode or two. After two seasons they finally pulled the trigger on Aiden who I am guessing will not be returning from death anytime soon, unlike someone else.

The show teased that someone would die and with Aiden out of the way halfway through, I figured that was it. Nope, it looks like Conrad will join Aiden in, well, wherever those two may be going. But the second death was not the shocker, this time it was the murderer that was the surprise, the not so dead David Clarke. The show has teased this a couple times, but it would always go nowhere.

So this opens a whole new can of worms. Where has David been all this time? Why chose this very moment to kill Conrad? Who else knows? Nolan? Was he helping Emily from the shadows (aside from providing her with the infinity box) all this time? Will he come out of the shadows now that his name is cleared? How will Emily react to him still being alive (she just wasted a decade of her life avenging his death that did not actually happen)? And maybe most importantly, why was this not the finale for last season, or even season one? We really wasted two worthless seasons to get to this point.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Shows that have a stellar first season but cannot stick the landing have me a bit worried moving forward. Call it the Lost Paradox. And The Blacklist actually made me think of a worst case: The Killing. At the end of the first season, we leaned that the mayoral candidate did the killing. But wait in the last scene the evidence against him turned out to be tampered with. I had the same reaction with Berlin, Red kills him, but wait, that was not really Berlin. Worse, I say the ending a mile away, when the other passengers were saying “He cut of his hand” I originally did think they meant Berlin cut off his own hand. And I guy we are now to assume Lizzie is Berlin’s daughter, right, and Red was the one that stole her from him?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: It was a little convenient that a room full of bikers and mobsters did not start shooting at each other. But I guess we are supposed to spend the summer thinking Castle is dead despite being the titular character. Now that Kate’s mother’s murder is closed, this will probably be the start of the next lengthy case the duo undertakes.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I thought the show stalled out a bit after the Captain America premiered but that was a thoroughly entertaining finale. It seemed pretty obvious to me that Joss Weadon himself wrote those Colson / Fury scenes. I am really glad they never even tried to turn Ward good again, but I have a feeling that there will be a Loki in Thor 2 situation sometime in season three. I hope they instead use him as more of a Hannibal Lecter situation if they do bring the character back. I just do not think there is a way they could ever redeem Ward. My only disappointment with the finale (other than they let Ward live) is we did not get any more information about Skye’s origins other than her father is still alive and he has a thick bloody hand.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: I had to laugh at Trish saying she was a good person in the game after the blow up with Kass. She was so unliked that someone rather quit the game than be around her for fear she would start punching her. With or without her, this is a lackluster final four. Woooooo is the only person worth rooting for but he will probably be out first unless he wins Immunity.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

Nashville: So Will actually admitted to his wife that he was gay, unfortunately for him, it looks like his reality show producers were listening. But it is about time this news came out, it hopefully will make the character interesting for once. The rest of the episode was pretty meh for a finale.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I would actually watch a show where Sheldon rides the rails.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: Nothing better than trivia week on The Challenge, T.J. clearly enjoys it two. Australians speaking Dutch had to be my favorite answer.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Will says he knows how to set a trap, I wonder if he is actually using Jack as the bait (as seen in the season premiere and the next promo). You can also add Hannibal having Mason feed Will’s dogs with his own face to the most disturbing scenes list.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/11/14

Once Upon a Time: They may have foiled the Wicked Witch but it looks like some sort of curse was enacted when she was converted to porcelain and shattered by Mr. Gold. Could that have been her plan all along, or possibly a back up plan?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Resurrection: So Agent Bellamy is the son of the black family that drowned in the flood. Except I am guessing that he grew up in the seventies even though his family looks like they are dressed from the time of the Dust bowl. Does this mean Agent Bellamy was the first to return about thirty years ago? I guess the timing could link up that he returned right when Jacob died. The first season was pretty pedestrian, but I am still intrigued by a second season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Resurrection on iTunes.

Mad Men: Drunk Don Draper already? That did not take long. But I have to wonder if Rodger would have stayed at the commune had some hippie did not try to have sex with his daughter with him right there.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: The weakest part of the show has always been the icky teacher-student relationship but they somehow were able to come to a satisfying ending to the storyline. Not only did the creepy guard kill the teacher, the student ended up killing the creepy guard in some weird love triangle ending of Romeo and Juliet. Awesome.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

Revenge: I have been mostly underwhelmed by the last two seasons of Revenge after a strong debut season but who Emily brought down Conrad was the biggest “Oh snap” moment of the show, better than even anything in the first season. Hopefully the show can carry that over to the season finale and a fourth season… if there is a fourth season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Blacklist: So this whole time, Red has been hunted by Bane? At least I got a distinct Bane vibe from the airplane scenes except the television show cannot afford to rip a plane in two.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: Wow, they actually ended the Beckett’s mother case. In the past, once the perp is caught, they move onto the next case, I do wonder if we will actually get to see any of the court proceedings with the Senator. And catching him a week before the wedding seems a bit ominous. I wonder if the Senator will be sending anyone to speak now before forever holding their peace. Assuming he does not do it himself if he is award bail.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: It continues to look like Ward is still full evil, dude shot a dog. Though it is unclear if him sending FitzSimmons to the bottom of the ocean (how Angel of the writers) was a Bond villain type plan of letting them die out of sight when it is plausible they could escape, or he did that knowing the duo would find a way out and it would be safer than being on a plane with Deathlock 1.0.

We did learn a little more about Skye… sort of. The Woman in a Flower Dress thinks they are the same inside (though we have no clue that she actually is) and that it was her parents they destroyed her village and they were monsters, but no clue if they are literal or figurative monsters. One more episode left, hopefully they give some definitive answers. I also wonder if there will be any set up to Guardians of the Galaxies as this will be the last episode before that film premieres. Could Skye unknown origin be related to a character in the movie?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Goldbergs: Great George the Animal Steele reference.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Goldbergs on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: It seems clear that some people come on the show gunning for second place knowing that it is easier to stay on the show longer trying for runner up instead of winner. I would say Russell Hantz was the first to do this, but he may have been delusional to think he could be a douchebag to everyone and they would hand over a million dollars to him. So Russell may have just been a template for people Philip Sheppard to copy, where you just act a fool and assume someone would be smart enough to want sit next to you in the final Tribal. This season Cass is clearly the person everyone would want to sit next to at the Final Tribal except I do not think she is playing for second, she actually thinks Tony is Russell Hantz, but if she thinks she can beat Tony, or anyone else, she is as delusional as Russell. Plus Cass ruined what could have been an alltime great Tribal Council with a three way tie and a use of a Special Powers Idol all at the same Tribal. Boooooooo.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: Oh wow, they went ahead and killed the new handler. Did not see that coming. I wonder if they are hoping Margo Martindale will be able to return next season. (Unfortunately The Millers was renewed, she and Beau Bridges deserve The Americans and Masters of Sex more than this horrible sitcom; I weep every time I watch). With only two episodes left, I am guessing Larrick will find the Jennings’ home by the end of the season. Hopefully this means Paige will finally learn of her parent’s secret lives.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: I found it interesting that they cut off the First Lady during her speech. I wonder how they came to this decision. Did she write her speech herself (or, well her own speechwriters) and they cut away from her because it got too boring. Did the show’s writers write it and then decided it went on too long? Did they write a break in the speech and when we could not hear her she was only speaking gibberish. At any rate, I was disappointed that her cameo did not involve coming to Maddie’s school to warn her the dangers of doing drugs.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I am really beginning to hate Jordon with a fiery passion. I hate him so much I am even siding with Johnny Bananas for the first time in his long history on the show.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Last week, for the second time this season, I assumed that the female in a dire situation would be eventually revealed to still alive by the end of the season. I was extremely wrong when it came to Beverly and it looked like I was wrong about Freddie too. I figure Will could store her out of sight until he catches Hannibal but did he really have the power to fake dental records. Apparently yes with help from Jack.

And just when you thought the show could not get any more messed up, here comes the Verger’s. I get that Mason performed an abortion on his sister to make sure he is the lone male Verger heir, but did he also remove her lady parts to make sure she would never conceive again? That was the impression that I got.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/2/14

Shameless: That was a lot more entertaining than last week’s mope fest. Who would have guess womb fratricide could be so funny? And they really should use Mickey more often. Sure he is not the best actor on the show, but he definitely delivers the funniest lines.

The Walking Dead: Where have the three amigos been all this time? As the show struggled to find characters worth caring about, these three show and are already high in the show’s power ranking (same goes with the lesbian tag along). We do learn who they are and what they are about this week. Well that is if we are to believe that the mulletted scientist (seriously, a mulletted scientist is awesome) actually does know what caused the zombie outbreak and how to cure it. Of course Glen and his irrational love ruined the trip to DC. Hey Glen, how about not attacking the military guy? That probably was not the smartest thing ever. I do wonder if Abraham is connected to the military guys The Governor killed a couple seasons back (probably not because I think that was two or three showrunners ago).
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: Who knew you could mumble speaking in ASL? But enough about sign language quirks, Wallace Fennel’s mom stabbed a dude! Did not see that coming.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched at Birth on iTunes.

The Voice: Last year, Usher and Shakira were clearly overmatched with Adam and Blake running circles around them. I give Shakira a pass because no one great picked her over the other coaches aside from the three Latinas (none of which she took to the Live Shows). Usher on the other hand did pull in some ringers during the Blind Audition but managed to end up with a worse team than Shakira when the show went live due to some bad coaching decisions (like cutting Ryan Innes and Jess Kellner) and some horrible Battle Round pairings which led to some of the most painful to sit through performances ever (Josiah vs. Jeff may have been the worst non-montaged Battle ever).

So I was disappointed that Usher picked up four of my five favorite acts in the first week. Maybe they can be stolen before Usher ruins them. Then Shakira continued picking up the scraps with three uninspiring singers, none of which seems like Live Shows material. Since she is in his chair, Shakira really should go with the Cee-Lo philosophy of taking fliers on weirder contestants no one else wants. Adam may be the four-chair champion, but it is more impressive what Cee-Lo did when he was the only one to turn around (Jamar Rogers, Nicholas David, Amanda Brown, and Cole Vosbury among them). Shakira may have done better with Marina Mia and / or Keith Shuskie, both who seemed more promising than the three she did pick up who scream fodder to me.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.

The Blacklist: Was Red’s interpolation of a gay homosexual offensive? Maybe. Was it entertaining? Very.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: After the second person came forward and confessed, I thought for sure that the killer was a hypnotist who convinced people they were the ones to commit the murder. That would be a pretty ingenious way of getting away with it.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Oh snap, Aria went H.A.M. on Ezra’s apartment. But I am wondering if Erza really is telling the truth about not being A and is just a very overzealous writer doing anything for a story. Then again it is also plausible that he is both and the person who tried to kill Ally is someone completely different. And just how many dudes is Hanna going to awkwardly kiss? Caleb is not going to be happy when he returns to Rosewood now that his spin-off has been canceled.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: Even though it was basically a procedural its first season, it is weird now when they have a standalone episode in the middle of the season (at least I am assuming that this case will not have any bearing on the rest of the series). Of course there was plenty of humor in Raylan chasing down a one legged computer hacker who drained his bank accounts. Although with all that was going on with the Crowders, the Crows, and the brewing feud between Alison and Wendy, the case just seemed rushed.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: A couple seasons ago I suggested that Survivor should do a Morons vs. Masterminds season and though that was a conceit for an All Star version, Brains vs. Beauty vs. Brawn may be as close as they get (as log as you assume jocks and models are not very smart). When the show was announce I originally thought that the Beauty tribe would be at a distinctive advantage because Immunity Challenges are geared to brute strength and mental puzzles, but low and behold they won the first one and came from way behind on the Brains tribe on a puzzle in the second.

That sent the Brains to Tribal for the second straight time. It has become very clear extremely soon that all of them are just overthinking everything and it seems like every master plan backfired on everyone who thought they were in control. First David targeted Garrett because he was a threat later in the game instead of the easy vote of J’Tia. Then Garrett was paranoid to not let anyone out of his sight but was not paranoid to not play his Hidden Immunity Idol. And just like that J’Tia is the Ciera of this season inexplicably surviving two votes she had no business making past (hopfully she turns out to be as entertaining as Ciera). Seriously, how do you not vote off the chick that dumped out your rice when you did not even win the fishing supplies?

But the all-stars of the first two episodes was the new budding friendship of former Trailblazer Cliff Robinson and the guy who had his basketball cards Woo (well those two and Morgan’s overworked underwear; my first impression of the “Beauty” tribe was underwhelming but I was proved extremely wrong with Morgan who sure likes bending over). Hopefully Tony, who is targeting Cliff, overplays his hand like everyone on the Brains tribe and finds his torch being snuffed out with Immunity in his pocket. Cliff and Woo would make a solid final two (and Morgan as the third for other obvious reasons).
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: The first season really launched the type of great show that has everything you should want, great acting, great writing, but it was just missing some intangible that keeps me from getting too excited for the show (FX continued that trend with The Bridge over the summer). I do have a feeling that with The Americans, it is hard to root for a couple of communist especially since we know they lost the Cold War. I am still in on the show and though I am still not waiting breathlessly for a new episode, my excitement level has raised a little after the season two premiere. I do like Paige is starting to snoop around her parents and seeing how they deal with learning her parents are Russian spies. But is she going to continue to snoop after catching her parents in the act? And now the parents have seen firsthand what can happen when he walked in on his friends murdered along with their daughter. It will be interesting to see if they are most loyal to their children or their country when it comes down to it. But when it comes down to it, I still hope they fast forward to the end of the Cold War to see how the Jennings adapt then. But that is still almost a decade away on the show.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: When a producer called Juliet up I was thinking they were going to go in the way of The Dixie Chicks and Rick Rubin when they were shunned by Nashville. Nope, they went completely the other way with harps and weird goth photo shoots that in no way Rolling Stone would put on their cover. Oh yeah, and Lamar died. And Teddy let it happen.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Hannibal: When NBC released a promo for the new season there seemed to be a very spoilery scene of Hannibal and Jack doing battle (or as spoilery as a prequel when you knew something like that would happen), except that fight scene surprisingly ended up being the very first scene of the new season. Of course we got the dreaded “12 weeks earlier” placecard in the middle of the fight. So it may take a while for us to see the conclusion of that scene. If the show takes place in real time, we would not see it until maybe the penultimate episode.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.