57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/12/13

Once Upon a Time: I am okay with poetic license so if the show wants to turn Rumplestiltkin into the “Beast” or make Jack of the Beanstalk fame a chick, fine (though turning Captain Hook into a J. Crew model is a little silly) but I really do not like that they turned Neverland into Siberia for Lost Boys. Neverland may be the most magical land in the Disney library and to turn it into a living hell take poetic license too far. But being from the writers of Lost, I have a feeling in three seasons (if the show gets that far) we will learn Bay is Peter Pan who rescues the Lost Boys from the Shadow, who is probably being controlled by Captain Hook. I would not be surprised if Bay ended up back in Neverland through the portal he slipped through and now is living a Hook
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: I was really hoping that it would be Takeda killing Aiden because the show took a dive in the entertainment department right around he showed up. His character just made the show too complicated and muddled, and with him gone, I hoped they would go back to Emily taking people down again out of revenge for her father next season. That is if there is a next season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Mad Men: On any other show, when Peggy left SCDP, the question would not have been if she would ever end up working with Don, but when. But considering this show has no problem segregating its cast (I cannot remember the last time Betty interacted with anyone else, Gene’s birthday party maybe) or just cut ties with them completely (I wonder if Paul Kinsey ever got to write for Star Trek) I figured they would just stay their separate ways from the rest of the show. So it seemed a little cheesy that Don proposed a merger with Peggy’s current firm.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: Well that was a weird way to start a results show, “hey, we are throwing out half the ways you were allowed to vote… but do not worry, even though we discarded those votes, we still got the same result anyway.” What? When Carson first announced this, my second thought was this is what they are going to use to bring back whoever drew the short straw on Adam’s team because they probably would have been one of the top two vote getters on any other team (my first thought was the irrational Michael Jackson fanatics, which there are still plenty around, stuffed the internet voting and possibly the texting which I am not entirely sure how you manipulate texting but I am morally opposed to texting so I really do not know much about it).

But alas the resurrection of Caroline Glaser, who was voted off Adam’s team, due to “voting irregularities” did not happen unless there is a shocking twist coming Monday (and we are still owed a shocking event from when they hyped one in the Battle Round that never happened). And the show should want to give Caroline a reprieve because she was one of the two best selling artists on the show this season (baffling the other person, Sarah Simmons, is the other one). Caroline and Sarah were the only two contestants whose four songs all charted this season, while Caroline was the only one who had all four of her songs on the Top 200 Overall iTunes chart this week. Not only that, all four of her songs charted higher on Monday than Josiah Hawley who inexplicably is in the final 12 while Caroline is going home. (Even as I write this, all four of Caroline's songs are charting higher than one song by Judith.  The Voice should feel really embarrassed by this.)  During Usher’s save, I was hoping he would say, “Instead of saving these two who are a lock to go home anyway, I am going to wait to use my Save on whoever Adam gets rid of.” That would have been worthy of the move we were promise in the Battle Round that “shocked the other coaches and producers.”

What makes Caroline and Sarah, the two top sellers, being in Adam’s team worse is that America’s Save went Judith Hill. The other save went to Amber Carrington, who hit the teens on the charts, but Caroline and Sarah were not that far behind in the thirties while Judith barely cracked the top 100. Considering they threw out online voting and texting, there had to be an overwhelming amount of phone calls for Judith to catapult Caroline and Sarah. Combine that with the “voting irregularities” this just does not pass the smell test. How are there that many people who said, Judith’s performance was not good enough to buy, but I am going to vote for her anyway?

Judith of course is an RnB singer while Amber is a country artist. You know else sings RnB and country: everyone else America voted for not named Michelle Chamuel (I guess she should be happy that Usher did not have another RnB singer or a country artist on his team). That really makes for a boring final 12. And it will get even more homogeneous because I suspect rockers Josiah and Garrett will be gone within the first two weeks, if not the first two gone. Not that I will find out, because unless they bring back Caroline, there really is no one to get excited for unless you are a country or RnB fanatic. I doubt anyone this season could have made the top five last season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: Have we always known that Robin has a sister? When her father first mentioned the younger Serbowski, my first thought was, well she will turn out to be the titular Mother. Except it would make no sense, we already no the mother has been in New York City for a while, she partied with Sarah Chalke, roomed with Rachel Bilson, and sat in on Ted’s lecture. If Robin’s sister has been in the city this whole time, how have we never met her yet?
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: Not that Pierce Morgan had much integrity in the first place, but how do you go on a show as yourself and comment on the size of another man’s junk on your own television show (which actually airs opposite the same program)? Larry King would never have done that.

Castle: It seems like whenever the show has these big government conspiracy cases, it always turns out to be a very pedestrian killer like a relative or scorn lover (with of course the exception of whenever it involves their own family). And I actually kind of hope Beckett takes the Washington job, then maybe Castle can go back to following around Adam Baldwin’s character.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Grimm: I have always liked Nora Zehetner going back to her Everwood days but unfortunately a decade later she really has not gotten her big break yet. She was unfortunately shuffled off that show after her onscreen brother died. She was the most interesting character on the early episodes of Heroes but was quickly killed off. The only thing I remember seeing her in since was one of the hundreds of Hey I Know That Person cameos on Heroes but she did not stick around long enough to get bedded by Don Draper (but at least she was not sullied by Pete Campbell). I was actually hoping that her character on Grimm would cause Nick to kill Juliet and she would become the new love interest because Juliet is clearly the weak link on the show. The only problem is Nick is the second weakest link.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Note to self: whenever you go on Survivor, tank any Individual Reward Challenges. Much like I am shocked that anyone would actually buy food at the action because the money would be better spent on the “advantage’ and Jeff will always have one covered dud and another time he will pull the you can have this for yourself, or something for the tribe thing. It is also becoming more frequent that at least once a season, Jeff will do the you can keep the prize for yourself or everyone else can get it thing and that usually happens during the Loved Ones Challenge. This week had to easily be the cruelest of Jeff’s ploys. He actually let Brenda choose Dawn, THEN said their was a second Loved One hiding on the island, AND THEN gave her the option of everyone but her AND Dawn the loved ones time. And then to make things worse, they actually had the barbecue within shouting distance. That was just cruel Jeff. And then Brenda learned the hard way why you do not want to win these challenges. It is a lose-lose situation. If you chose your Loved Ones, everyone will hate you and will not win if you make it to the finals. If you give up your Loved One, everyone will view you as a threat to win and try to vote you out, which actually happened to Brenda hours after her good deed. Though that was a stupid vote, I would much more worried of Eddie going on an Idol run than Brenda, and like I explained last week, Eddie already had three automatic votes on the jury. Oh well. We did finally get a first look of Andrea on the jury, and I am not sure who packs a cocktail dress when going on the show, but I am glad she did. Wow.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Nashville: Of course Juliette has a sex tape. But I take it they are going to save the reveal of Maddie’s paternity for the season finale to Deacan, and maybe Maddie herself. I guess the question is how they will find out? Will Rayna finally confess after all these years? will Teddy let it slip in a jealous rage? Will it be released in a tabloid? For the entertainment value, let’s hope it is the third option.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: That was the most disturbing sex scene I have ever seen.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: Well this season of Community written fan-fic is finally over. At least we got one last glimps of Evil Annie in a tight red dress before it was thankfully put out of its misery, so it made the season worth it. Wait, it was renewed? Oh goodness.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: So a therapist has his very own therapist. Though I have a feeling Hannibal just goes to Scully just to play with her. And what is going on with Abigail Hobbs? She was just resigned to a dream sequence this week, but I would really like to see her in the middle of the Hannibal / Will tug of war for her soul.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

The Voice Season Four Knockout Round Power Rankings

Last season, there were a few questionable song choices in the newly added Knockout Round (grandpa Rudy Parrish covering the girl beating Chris Brown sticks out the most) and even though there were fewer contestants this season, there seemed to be three times the bad song ideas. It seemed like Midas Whale, Mary Miranda, Monique Abbadie, Savannah Berry (all of whom I thought had a very good chance of advancing prior to the round), Warren Stone, Luke Edgemon, Audrey Karrasch, and C. Perkins lost before they even sang a note based on the song they picked alone. That is over half the losers and that does not even include Justin Rivers who benefitted from being pitted against someone who picked a worse song than him.

Surprisingly I agreed that every contestant each coach picked gave the best performance in the Knockout Round (I guess that happens when you get rid of the bad decision machines Cee-Lo and Christina). Not that it was not surprising in who the coaches picked. In previous seasons, especially Blake, would not necessary pick the best singer in the moment, but who they thought was better over all their performances. Even though they did not give their best performances, it is surprising that who I thought were former favorites on their teams, Savannah, Mary, Jess, and Ryan were all cut loose because of one below par performance. This definitely hurt Usher the most because he lost his two best singers in one fell swoop. I thought Ryan had the best chance to break up a final three sweep by Adam (Sarah, Caroline, and Judith seem the biggest fan favorites at the moment) and now Usher ended up with the weakest team which may be as bad as Christina’s team in the first or third season.

And what was up with Usher’s coaching, he will do pushups with Michelle, stand an inch away from Audrey, but it did not don on Usher to tell Ryan to tone it down and just sing the melody? That was just an epic fail on his part. One simple note just lost him his best chance of winning this season. Oh well. Here is a power ranking of those that did not make horrible song choices.

1. Sasha Allen (Team Shakira): Her flaws were on full display when she had to sing a duet with a song picked out by someone else, but when she is by herself singing own song… wow. Just wow. With Ryan out of the competition, Sasha is now most likely break Adam’s triad sweeping the finals.

2. Sarah Simmons (Team Adam): After performing two songs I never really cared for I was excited that Sarah was actually performing a song I like. Wild Horses may even be my favorite Rolling Stones song (that or Beast of Burden or You Can’t Always Get What You Want depending on my mood that day) but what I like about the song is it subtly and Sarah just went too big with it.

3. Caroline Glaser (Team Adam): The weakest performance of her three so far, but even Caroline at her worse is more entertaining than most people in this competition at their best. And I have to imaging going second puts you at a slight disadvantage epically if the other in your pairing does not bomb (Caroline was visibly shaken while watch Amy perform compared to Amy who provided the hey’s to Caroline’s song). She definitely needs to get her nerves in check during the Live Playoffs because Adam will not hesitate to pick Amber over her if comes down to the two. Since last week I suggested that Caroline start wearing and she did this week (and it worked, she was not picked without them and was chosen with them), I am going to pretend I am in some fantasy world where Caroline actually reads this and this week suggest Caroline start playing an instrument. Caroline has what I call the Eddie Vedder Syndrome where they are not sure what they should be doing on stage and end up looking very awkward. Standing in one place with a guitar or sitting down at the piano should elevate her nervous tensions; it did do wonders for Dia Frampton in the first season.

4. Danielle Bradbery (Team Blake): After hearing sing her first ballad, it became clear she will be better off sticking to more fun songs in the pop-country songbook.

5. Kris Thomas (Team Shakira): Consistent as ever, but the song selection was a bit of a bore. I hope he dips into nineties RnB for the next round because there are plenty of forgotten gems there that would be much more interesting than yet another interpolation of an over performed song.

6. Amber Carrington (Team Adam): She has become the dragon slayer this season, easily dispatched early favorite Sasha in the Battle Round and made quick work of another fan favorite Midas Whale in the Knockouts. So do not count her out against the resounding three favorites left on her team (Sarah, Judith and Caroline had the three best selling Knockout Round songs on iTunes this week). I do not think she will get through by the fan votes (assuming they do it the same way they did last season) but could get a reprieve by Adam saving her. If so, she could go far, maybe even top six. I have never minded team quotas, but it is a shame that all four of Adam's team probably could beat everyone on Usher's team and maybe even be at least the second vote getter on either Blake or Shakira's teams.

7. Holly Tucker (Team Blake): Much like how Danielle should stick to the fun songs, Holly would be better served by picking bigger ballads and it would also benefit them both because it would differentiate themselves from each other. But Holly needs to stick away from the country songs that do not appeal to a broader audience or she will end up like Liz Davis who was quickly rejected by America by picking a song that no one outside of the country world recognized. Maybe something by Shania Twain, Faith Hill or try countrfing a power ballad.

8. VEDO (Team Usher): It was hard to hear him sing this song without thinking of Bryan Keith last season who famously held that final note in the commercials. Vedo did not quite hit those heights, but he is the only one left in the competition who has improved on each performance. Like Kris, Vedo needs to dip into the nineties.

9. Judith Hill (Team Adam): My favorite of her three performances, but I still missing the wow factor that it seem like everyone else have when they listen to her.

10. Cáthia (Team Usher): Probably the luckiest person left in the competition. She loses to Mary (who then loses her Knockout match up) but gets Stolen by Usher who then puts her up against his strongest singer who then ended up giving his worst performance on the show. But it does not matter how you get there, it only matters that you get there. And it may get her more votes with America, but I actually like her more when she was singing in Spanish. With Usher as her coach I expect to stick to English language songs. Yawn.

11. Garrett Gardner (Team Shakira): Another consistent performer but he is still missing that breakout moment that could make him a contender, or even interesting.

12. Michelle Chamuel (Team Usher): She is like the white version of De'Borah but with a worse voice, less interesting and a much worse taste in music. Which probably means she will go further.

13. The Swon Brothers (Team Blake): It really baffles me that Blake would take Jamie Lannister to the Live Round. Who would want to vote for that evil douchebag?

14. Josiah Hawley (Team Usher): A much stronger performance than his Battle Round but I would still have liked Ryan or Jess to have taken this spot on Usher’s team. And now that it is up to America, I fear he may stick around for a few weeks. Dez Duron made it about two rounds further than his talent dictated and Josiah is a better singer and better looking (um… or so I have been told by chicks) and Dez made it to the top eight with stiffer competition, hopefully teen girls to not get Josiah that far.

15. Karina Iglesias (Team Shakira): Her performance just came across as bland karaoke. Are You Gonna Go My Way is about 60% passion, 30% guitars and she lacked them both. Shakira taking Karina to the Live Shows over Mary or Monique may have been the most surprising decision this round

16. Justin Rivers (Team Blake): Like Josiah, he could skate by with his looks, but after not even being good enough to have his first two performances show and gave a lackluster performance the first time we got to see him, I do not think it will happen.


So going into the Live Playoff, it is time to see who has the strongest team, as usual I assigned each a number for each contestant, one for the worst, sixteen for the best and here are the teams with the highest scores:

Team Adam – 48
Team Shakira – 36
Team Blake – 28
Team Usher – 24

Not surprisingly Adam has a commanding lead; the guy could end up with the final three contestants. More surprising, in one round Shakira jumped from last to second place. It does help that she has two of the top five wile Blake has two of the bottom four. Then there is Usher amassed one of the worst Live Round teams in the first four seasons.

Carson said that they will go from 16 to 12, I assume like last season that the next round will involve each team having two members advance to the to 12 by fan vote and another get through by a Coach’s Save, if that is the case, here is how I predict the next round will shape up:

Team Adam: Sarah and Judith are saved by America, Adam saves Caroline; goodbye Amber
Team Black: Danielle and the Swon Brothers are saved by America, Blake saves Holly; goodbye Justin
Team Shakira: Sasha and Garrett are saved by America, Shakira saves Kris; goodbye Karina
Team Usher: Josiah and Michelle are saved by America, Usher saves Vedo; goodbye Cáthia

But take my predictions with a grain of salt because I only correctly predicted nine of the sixteen finalist (though in my defense, I could not have foreseen so many contestants picking such horrible songs).

The Voice Season Four Battle Round Power Rankings

The Battle Rounds have always been the worst part of The Voice, there seems to be more trainwrecks than great performances with everyone else ranging between mediocre to just plain boring and we also tend to lose a bunch of good talent. Things got better last season with the introduction of The Steal and they sped by some of the more boring Battles via montage. The problem last season is most of the Steals seemed to be wasted on unworthy contestants and only two made it to the Live Shows (ironically both were on Team Adam when half of the Steals were formally on his team, none of those of which advanced). The Steals were better utilized this season, though I would have preferred Jessica Childress or Brandon Roush (both of who I have a feeling were unlucky enough to perform after all the Steals had been used by the lack of Carson’s uncomfortable, “let me remind you so-and-so is available for a Steal”) had gotten through over the two interchangeable male RnB artists that did get stolen or even Patrick Dodd, but nothing really that egregious.

I cannot say I missed Cee-Lo that much during the Blind Auditions but he was solely missed in the Battle Rounds, he always had a penchant for awesomely cheesy eighties record and bizarre parings. Aside from the bluegrass version of Burning Love, none of the song choices this round were all that interesting by any of the coaches (of course the Pat Benatar song was montaged out of the show). But anyway. Surprisingly everyone in my Blind Auditions Power Rankings advanced to the Knockout Rounds (Jessica at #12 was the highest person sent home). Here is my power ranking of those moving onto the Knockout Rounds.

1. Caroline Glaser (Team Blake Adam) – All the huge words the judges trot out: diaphanous, ethereal are definitely warranted. Her voice is so soothing and unique they could invent words to describe it. As great as Danielle is (as you will tell by her ranking in a second), Blake not picking Caroline is one of the dumbest coach’s decisions in the history of the show, right up there with Erin Martin over The Shield Brothers.

2. Ryan Innes (Team Usher) – So we know he can do soul music, and do it very well, now as we transition into the homestretch, I really want to see what else he can do.

3. Danielle Bradbery (Team Blake) – Danielle’s audition was fun, but wow, she really broke out in the Battle Rounds when most other contestant’s flaws are shown. Her and Caroline put on the third best Battle Round duet in the shows history after Amanda Brown vs. Trevin Hunt and Jessie Campbell vs. Anthony Evans. And now with Caroline out of the way, Danielle established herself as the favorite on Team Blake.

4. Kris Thomas (Team Shakira) – I do not know why people continue to compare his voice to that of a woman’s. I never once thought that. The guy clearly comes from a line of great RnB tenors like Ralph Tresvant and all Eddie Kendricks of The Temptations.

5. Sarah Simmons (Team Adam) – Not the best pairing, Sarah is a powerhouse and the other guy was too laid back and the Battle did not work that well. But she has sung two songs that I do not really care for and is still in my top five. I cannot wait to hear something that I actually do like.

6. Cáthia (Team Shakira Usher) – The closest Battle possibly ever (as you can tell when you see where her opponent landed). Vocally I give the slight edge to Cathia but…

7. Mary Miranda (Team Shakira) - …Mary Miranda is the more entertaining personally. Really they could have given the entire hour to these girls and I would not have complained (and this is coming from someone who hates the backstage segments). Though I gave the slight edge to Cathia, Mary could easily leapfrog her (and others) if she does faster songs because this girl is a spitfire. She may not win the show, but she may end up having the best career of anyone this season.

8. Savannah Berry (Team Blake) – Savannah said she is more of a ballad singer and her up-tempo performance showed that she was right even though it was more fun to sit through than her audition. But now that Blake has amassed a country only team, the question going into the Live Show is will he actually go all young female country singers. If not, Savannah vs. Danielle or Holly seems like the most obvious pairing and may lead to a very hard decision.

9. Amber Carrington (Team Adam) – The biggest breakout of the Battle Rounds, not only did she decisively win her Battle Round pairing, she managed to bring out Sasha’s flaws, if this were a real boxing match, that would be a monumental feat like Buster Douglas vs. Mike Tyson.

10. Midas Whale (Team Adam) – I wonder if the accordion is to Midas Whale to what hair is to Samson because their Battle Round was a bit lackluster and Patrick was the clear winner here. They may want to dust off the accordion in the next round because they are on a very strong team and could very well be the odd men out.

11. Holly Tucker (Team Blake) – After her audition I thought she would be best served sticking to an adult contemporary lane and after hearing sing an up-tempo country song, I still think that.

12. Jess Kellner (Team Usher) – My biggest problems with the Battle Rounds is good singers can get forced to sing songs that do not fit them or get stuck with singers that they do not blend together well with. Both happened to Jess. Hopefully it was just a Battle Round fluke lik it usually is.

13. Audrey Karrasch (Team Usher) – Montage win, yawn.

14. Sasha Allen (Team Adam Shakira) – Despite her flaws being in full view, losing to Amber may have been the best for her. Now she no longer has to be in anymore silly duets, she is away from the crowded talent on Team Adam and has a much clearer path to the Live Shows with Shakira.

15. Luke Edgemon (Team Shakira Blake) – When Luke said he was going to make a strategic decision, it seemed clear to me he was gesturing toward Blake before they cut to commercial (the editors did a really horrible job because I could also clearly hear Adam say the “mmm” of Midas Whale before the ads too) so I got to spend the whole break thinking of what a horrible strategy that was as Blake’s strategy this season is a strict country one. Sure Luke may not have known that Blake was going all country because he had not done that before, but he should had know from last season that Blake had no interest in the Steal and now Luke will just be fodder for some teenage country chick. Should have went with Usher.

16. Taylor Beckham (Team Usher Blake) – Welcome to Team Blake, I hope you invested in cowboy boots and quickly learn the Miranda Lambert catalogue or it will be a short stay.

17. Judith Hill (Team Adam) – I thought she was overrated before, Adam calling her performance the greatest Battle ever only makes worse. It was not the best Battle this season (Caroline vs. Danielle); it was not even the best Battle that episode (Amber vs. Sasha).

18. Grace Askew (Team Blake) - Montage win, yawn.

19. Amy Whitcomb (Team Adam) – Montaged twice, but I still have to stand by the Sing-Off alum. But even though Adam took someone to the Live Shows last season who got her first two performances passed over, he also had a much weaker team then and it will be hard for her to slip into the top four on his team even though she would be two or three on the other teams.

20. Garrett Gardner (Team Shakira) – The token rock dude this season, probably would have preferred Brandon in his spot.

21. Monique Abbadie (Team Shakira) – She was a little bit too much for me during her audition and cringed when she sounded like she was trying to imitate Lady Gaga in the rehearsals, but she started to impress me with her performance. Could be a dark horse in the Live Rounds.

22. VEDO (Team Usher) – Dude is very likeable and if I did a Power Ranking of people from the show I would most want to hang with, Vedo would top that list (Non-Hot Chick Catergory) but he hits some bad notes and creates others that just are not there. Hopefully Usher do some better coaching because you can’t not root for this guy.

23. The Swon Brothers (Team Blake) – Had Blake not gone with the silly all country team strategy, I doubt these guys would have advanced. You cannot tell me they deserved a slot on Team Blake over Caroline. I would probably have Jacqie and Michelle above them.

24. Tawnya Reynolds (Team Shakira) - Montage win, yawn.

25. Michelle Chamuel (Team Usher) - Montage win, yawn.

26. Warren Stone (Team Adam) – Might as well as been montaged because his Battle was kind of a bore.

27. Karina Iglesias (Team Adam Shakira) – Had Adam not overhyped the Battle, I wonder if Shakira wastes her Steals that early. I would have rather her Steal Caroline to form Team Diaphanous or even had a Steal left to pick up Jessica.

28. Orlando Dixon (Team Usher Adam) – The brilliance of Ain’t No Sunshine is its simplicity. Orlando just oversang the song. When people bring out the unnecessary vocal gymnastic I think back to season one when Blake told one of his contestants, just because you can do that does not me you should.

29. Shawna P (Team Shakira) – After Caroline, this was the most shocking win of the season. I thought Brandon won that Battle easily.

30. C. Perkins (Team Shakira Usher) – I really do not have anything to say about this guy, I think he got montaged and Kris just dominated him in their Battle, nothing really stick out about him.

31. Josiah Hawley (Team Usher) – He has a serviceable voice which was worthy of a button push, but goodness that was the worse Battle Round performance (Non-Trainwreck Category) in the history of the show. Make me wonder just how bad the montaged Battles were this year if this Battle was shown.

32. Justin Rivers (Team Blake) – Montaged… twice. The only question now is which teenage country singer he is going to lose to in the Knockout Round.

As I always do, I created an advanced mathematics equation to determine who really has the strongest team (okay, I just gave 1 point to the worst and 32 to the best and added up the teams) and here is where the teams stand:

Team Adam: 149
Team Blake: 138
Team Shakira: 118
Team Usher: 123

Adam opened up his lead from the Battle Rounds (stealing the best singer will help with that) while Usher manage to go from last by a mile to leaping over Shakira. Here are some predictions on who will be advancing to the Live Shows ranking from go ahead and bet the farm to you may want to flip a coin with a dark horse in parentheses:

Team Adam: Judith, Sarah, Caroline, Midas Whale (Amy)
Team Blake: Savannah, Grace, Holly, Danielle (Luke)
Team Shakira: Kris, Sasha, Mary, Monique (Garrett)
Team Usher: Ryan Innes, Vedo, Jess Kellner, Cathia (Michelle)

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/21/13

Mad Men: Maybe it was because there was only one hour this week or it featured the triumphant return of Trudy Campbell, but this episode was much more entertaining. Can we please, instead of continue to pop into the life of Fat Betty, just use all that screen time to see what Trudy is up to? Actually I wish the show would feature more Trudy and less Pete.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: As I have stated multiple times, Blake is clearly the best coach on the show and I have agree with him more than any other judge when it comes to picking Battles and other decisions, but letting go of Caroline Glaser was a colossal mistake on his part. I actually do like Danielle Bradbery and glad she advanced (she was number 9 on my Blind Auditions Power Rankings) but there is just something special (or dare I say diaphanous) about Caroline’s voice where you just cannot dump her this soon in the competition. Thankfully Adam (and Usher) wisely went for the Steal. Hopefully she will turn into this year’s Amanda Brown for Adam.

What exactly is Blake doing this season? I remember last season he flat out said that he only want to take one country artist to the Live Shows (and did the same the previous two seasons) yet this season he placed a non-country artist with a country one and each time, the more country artist advanced, and considering Savannah Berry, his best country artist is yet to come he will at least have five country singers going to the Knockout Round (montage contestant Justin Rivers could make it a clean sweep). Maybe after two straight wins, he is going country or going bust this season. Too bad he did not tell Caroline and his other non-country contestants his plan when he was fighting for them in the Blind Auditions. So do not get comfortable Taylor Beckham and whoever he steals next, you probably will not be spending too much time on Team Blake.

Really the only other thing that stuck out to me this week is how dramatic the makeovers were. At her Blind Audition, Caroline was dressed like my grandmother but transformed into some hippie chic model (note to Caroline: wear your glasses more often, and by more often I mean always). But the most dramatic change was Amber Carrington who looked like she was dressed for a PTA meeting at her audition but looked significantly better when they put her hair up and a more fitting dress on her. And she won, and rightfully so. Sasha Allen just over sang the song and her flaws were very apparent while singing with Amber.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: How disappointing that we did not get to see the wedding planner’s “redonkulous” body. But there again, there is always the internet where you can do an image search of Mircea Monroe. Ted was complete right.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: The writers deserve a pass considering the conditions they were under while writing this season, but that was a really odd plot twist at the end. Essentially J.R. committed suicide just to frame Cliff Barnes for that murder. And it was a little weird that no one seemed to care that his henchmen killed him. You would think they would be a little mad that he let think J.R. was murdered and not tell them that J.R. was dying so they could at least say goodbye. But anyway. Now with Cliff and Rylan in jail (I do have a feeling the latter will be getting out by the second episode next season) apparently the big bad next season will be Elena. Alrighty. So all this time she grew up with some dude who would end up running a drug cartel?
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: My favorite part of the episode is they put handcuffs on Bigfoot without bothering to take off his costume. If Beckett was so skeptical about the existence of Bigfoot, then why did she have oversized handcuffs on her?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: All shows are guilty of hyperbole when it comes to promos, but Survivor may be the worst of them all. Finally the show lived up to the hype with “one of the craziest Tribal Councils EVER” (not so much with Dawn losing her mind over a lost retainer) with Malcolm pulling out his two Idols, then telling the dominate alliance that they have to turn on themselves. And who would have guessed that Erik, the Dumbest Survivor Contestant Ever, would be smart enough to point out it would wise to not play the Idol because no one would be stupid enough to vote for someone who says they are going to play it (keep in mind this season was filmed before Malcolm successfully pulled that same bluff last season). So even though Special Agent Sheppard ended up going home, it still was an entertaining Tribal.

That was until I went to sleep that night and thought about the episode and the history of Survivor. I racked my brains and could not think of a time when the producers of the show put a second Hidden Immunity back into the game post merge. Come to think of it, I could not remember a season when they put any more Hidden Immunity Idols back in play after they were used after the merge. So the episode started out with the Stealth R Us alliance having the numbers to easily vote out a member of the Douchebag even with a Hidden Immunity Idol because they had enough people to split the votes. Then during the episode, there is an Immunity Challenge that clearly favors athletic guys that Douchebag #1 wins fairly easily with Douchebag #3 in a close second (Douchebag #2 stupidly got eliminated) and then Douchebag #3 just happens to find a Hidden Immunity Idol even though none have been put back into the game after the merge before making them bullet proof at Tribal? That just does not pass the sniff test. I call shenanigans. That does not pass the sniff test
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Subugatory: I have been down on this season because they focused too much time on the adults, put Tessa in a boring relationship with a jock, and neutered Dalia. The last hour seemed like a reboot back to what I loved about the first season, even with an action film quality fight inn the halls of a high school. And I am not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed that I easily recognized the song on Lisa’s cat mix as It Must Have Been Love by Roxette. But that makes me wonder if you have to pay a licensing fee for a song if you recreate it with cat sounds? On a side note, if the show gets renewed, they need to figure out how to get Tessa to dance more next season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

The Americans: I was reading a couple weeks ago how someone complained about this show saying that the show could go nowhere because we know how it ends (the Jennings will be on the losing side) which means the show will lose most of its tension. And though I doubt the Russians will end up winning the Cold War on the show, it is clear we are living in an alternative timeline where anything can happen, live a scientist and multiple FBI agents can be blown up (image if that happened today) or a Russian General being killed in the Mother Land. But the most fascinating part of this episode was that Elizabeth had some good old fashion American fun for the very first time.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: After a very long single shot opening, I thought they would not have a cut in the entire episode (sans the commercial breaks of course) and would have been much more interesting if they did. And goodness was Evil Annie extremely attractive. And despite airing the Christmas episode almost a month after Easter, the delay did have a timely Hannibal Lecter reference that now airs the same night.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: After the premiere, I was trolling the message board and came upon an interesting theory that Dr. Lecter was feeding human meat to Will in that dinner he prepared for him. I bring this up because this week Abigail asked, “He was feeding them (the girls her father killed) to us” to witch Dr. Lecter responded, “Very likely.” That pretty much confirms to me that he was feeding human remains to Will, and basically everyone he cooks a meal for.

Another basically confirmed mystery this episode is the Hannibal is the copycat killer. It certainly was not a coincidence that he heard Will’s lecture on how the copycat would never kill like that again, and as soon as the team returned Minnesota, another girl was hung up by antlers in a place Hannibal knew everyone would be the next day.

It is also surprising how great a character Abigail is (okay it should not be that surprising considering Bryan Fuller is involved and the guy knows how to make you feel something about bit characters). Who would of guess a teen girl could go toe to toe with Hannibal Lecter but I do hope they find ways to work her into the rest of the season. Those if she remains a key figure in the show, I have a feeling she will be dead or in jail by the end of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

The Voice Season Four Blind Audition Power Rankings

One thing I really liked about The Voice is that it seemed like they were auditioning artists straight from my iPod. Season two had six contestants that I already had in my library before the show even aired. Last season was down to one, the eventual winner Cassadee Pope. Season four: none. Epic Fail The Voice. I only even recognized one singer, the chick from The Sing-Off who was relegated to the montage segment. But there were some decent contestants this season, so on to the Power Rankings.

1. Midas Whale (Team Adam) - If you cannot be down with a dude who shows up on a nationally televised singing competition with an accordion, we cannot be friends. But if they do an accordion version of D'yer Mak'er (like this season's guest mentor Sheryl Crow), I'm out on these guys.

2. Caroline Glaser (Team Blake) - I have not been this transfixed by a voice on the show since Xenia back in the first season. I cannot confirm nor deny that I spent most of Tuesday on her YouTube channel (but if I did I could give her bonus points for multiple City and Colour covers).

3. Sarah Simmons (Team Adam) – I hate One of Us, like an irrational hatred of the song, that is how much I liked her voice that I did not mind hearing coming from her. I look forward to her singing a song that does not suck massively,

4. Ryan Innes (Team Usher) – It is too easy to compare him to Nicholas David, who my favorite from last season, but I will hold off that comparison until I hear how good Ryan is at singing Huey Lewis. Which begs the question is Usher cool enough to be down with Huey Lewis?

5. Savannah Berry (Team Blake) – I scoffed when she said she was singing Safe and Sound, the harmonies from The Civil Wars make that song and no one person can do that justice. But goodness her version was just beautifully haunting.

6. Jess Kellner (Team Usher) – Such a transfixing voice, I am really interesting to hear what she does next.

7. Holly Tucker (Team Blake) – I am not sure I will like her enough if starts doing pure country songs like it sound like she wants to do (who knew there was a Garth Brooks version? I only knew Bob Dylan, Adele and Billy Joel) but I kind of hopes she sticks to more adult contemporary.

8. Cáthia (Team Shakira) – I could note understand one word, but I think I loved every minute of it.

9. Danielle Bradbery (Team Blake) – Very apropos that she did a Taylor Swift song because like Taylor, she may not have the best voice around, but just has this likeability quality you cannot deny. But I fear for her longevity because last season Blake said he made a strategic decision to only take one country artist to the Live Show and this is definitely his strongest country contingent to date and I already have her in third in that group.

10. Sasha Allen (Team Adam) – I have this fear that Adam is going to pit her against Judith Hill (who is a bit overrated) in the battle rounds. Though I am pretty sure I saw Judith against someone else in the previews, which means Adam may put her up against Sara Simmons instead or they wlll meet in the Knockout Rounds. Hopefully the coaches steal wisely this season.

11. Kris Thomas (Team Shakira) – I remember in the first season they actually hit the faces of some contestants until they turned around. It is a shame they stopped that because I wonder if I would have mistaken him for a chick if I did not see him.

12. Jessica Childress (Team Usher) – She may not have the best voice of the RnB chicks this season, but she is the most fun, and that counts for something in my book.

13. Judith Hill (Team Adam) – In a power rankings of backing singers (just based on their Blind Audition) I have Amanda Brown, Sasha Allen, Jermaine Paul, then Judith.

14. Grace Askew (Team Blake) – To be honest I am not sure what I made of her performance but I am thinking I liked it.

15. Audrey Karrasch (Team Usher) – I cannot hear this song without thinking of Xenia, and from his reaction, I have a feeling the same goes for Blake who sang along like he did three seasons ago. She gave a really fun performance even if she never pointed along with the song.

16. Jacqui Sandell (Team Blake) – For those keeping track at home, four seasons for Blake and four female Warped Tour veterans including one the won and a runner up.

17. Amber Carrington (Team Adam) – It is almost distracting how much she looks like Carrie Underwood with shot hair. And she may be lucky that Blake had a full team because he already had plenty of strong country artists. Then again, he may end up stealing her anyway.

18. Taylor Beckham (Team Usher) – I did not rally like her voice at first but it really grew on me the longer I listened.

19. Luke Edgemon (Team Shakira) – I am a little surprised he went with Shakira instead of Usher given his gospel root, it will be interesting what the Latin singer does with him.

20. Mary Miranda (Team Shakira) – In the battle of chicks I could not understand, I give a slight edge to Cathia, but would not be surprised if this spitfire can pull the upset in their battle.

21. Brandon Roush (Team Shakira) – I thought with the inclusion of Shakira, they would finally get someone who respects rock. Hopefully Brandon opens up the grunge songbook for his song selection going forward.

22. Patrick Dodd (Team Adam) – Over does it at times but still a strong performance.

23. The Swon Brothers (Team Blake) – They are no Shield’s Brothers but entertaining enough.

24. Garrett Gardner (Team Shakira) – I guess going up against fellow rocker Brandon would be the most obvious Battle Round pairing and my opinion of Shakira would skyrocket if she has them sing Would? by Alice in Chains. Though whoever got the Laine Stanley part would have an unfair advantage.

25. Amy Whitcomb (Team Adam) - Got to rep my girl from The Sing-Off even if she was montaged.

Even though it only takes one singer to win, it is always fun to see who has the strongest team. I went ahead and ranked all 48 contestants (I even listened to the iTunes previews of the montage contestants) with the worst getting one point and the best given 48 and here is how the teams stack out:

Team Adam - 276
Team Blake - 271
Team Shakira - 270
Team Usher – 249

It should not be surprising that the self proclaimed “Mr. Four Chairs” Adam (he won four of the eight this season) edges out his nemesis Blake. It is a bit surprising that Shakira was nipping on their heels. But looking at it as a whole, there are no real standouts (unless you love Latin music) but she does not really have any stickers either while the other teams have some fat to trim. And where last season, Christina Aguilera stocked her team with interchangeable bland pop singers, half of Usher’s team is interchangeable bland RnB dudes. He really needs to choose wisely in the Battle Rounds if he wants to keep up with the veterans.

He will also want to use his steals wisely, unlike every coach last season but Adam who was the only one who took his steals to the Live Playoffs last season. I wonder if anyone will give Blake the shaft twice again this year like Caitlin Michele did last season. And I wonder if they are adding steals this season. I assume everyone will get two steals in the Battle Rounds which will put each team at eight going into the Knockout Rounds. But means there will only be four going to the Live Rounds unless they add a Steal to the Knockout Rounds which I suggested they do last season’

As usual, there were a few artists that slipped through the cracks, and the three worth mentioning I think really shot themselves in the foot with poor song selections.

1. Jane Smith - I have long said singing Adele is the kiss of death on this show because no one is going to out-Adele Adele. Florence Welch is another artist you should proceed with caution with. With that said, Jane is probably the most egregious no chair contestant ever to audition on the show (either her or Ducky) and would have been in my top ten of my power ranking had she made it. I wonder if she auditioned late because from Blake’s comments (which seemed heavily edited) that maybe he would have turned his chair but maybe did not have any slots left. I really hope she auditions again next season. But she may want to avoid Florence + The Machine.

2. Abraham McDonald – A note to all the future contestants, it is a very bad omen to sing a song when the last line is “sucks to be you right now.” It is fated to end badly.

3. Betsy Barta – Like I said above, stay away from Adele, I actually liked her street performance better.

Speaking of returning contestants, what happened to the hot hairdresser with flowers in her hair from last season? Certainly she deserved a second chance more than that chick that got montaged this season. And where was the reggae chick that sang acapella after her Blind Audition that all the coaches were adamant about returning?


As for predictions, this is the hardest season to handicap who will win. And who know, they may go back to having each team represented in the finals and who knows what kind of tweaks they will do to the voting system this season. I could see Blake finally having a successful country artist who could win this season, but will it be Savannah, Holly, and Danielle could be a dark horse. Adam has his two power house back up singers. And I am sure some people have already written off Shakira, but I would not sleep on her Latin artists and Cathia could sneak in there (or she could be this year's Adriana Louise who is pushed through the first three rounds and met with a resounding yawn when the public starts voting). My sources tell me American Idol made a conscious avoid to boring white dudes after almost a decade of duds whose albums bombs; so that bored housewives voting block that pushes those artists may move to The Voice where they can push guys like Warren Stone, Christian Porter, or Josiah Hawley (though The Voice's voting limits seems to keep the bland but cute boys like Chris Mann and Dez Duron from winning). But if we were to go back to the team formats, here would be my predictions for the final four (with a back up pick in parentheses):

Adam - Judith Hill (Sara Simmons)
Blake - Savannah Berry (Christian Porter)
Shakira - Cathia (Brandon Roush)
Usher - Ryan Innes (Josiah Hawley)

Next up are the Battle Rounds and here is a sneak preview:


My eye spies battles between:
Christian Porter vs. The Swon Brothers (Blake)
Cathia vs. Mary Miranda (Shakira)
Judith Hill vs.Karina Iglesias (Adam)
Midas Whale vs. Patrick Dodd (Adam)
Jess Kellner vs. Taylor Beckham singing You Know I'm No Good by Amy Winehouse (Usher)
Jeff Lewis vs. Josiah Hawley (Usher)
Sasha Allen vs. Amber Carrington singing Try by Pink (Adam)
And I think that is Sara Simmons's shoulder next to Agina Alvarez (Adam)
But I am scratching my head trying to figure out who Michelle Chamuel is battling. The arm looks like a white person's, but Jeff and Josiah and Jess and Taylor are battling each other, Audrey Karrasch is wearing a different top, and it looks to skinny to be Ryan's. Maybe Chelsea M? And yes, I spent way too much time watching this video.