Best of the Week: 3/1/14

Quote of the Week: Guy threw his leg out the window, jumped out, slid down the light pole and then gave me the bird! C’mon, I love this guy, let me catch him. (Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens, Justified)

Song of the Week: Don't Put Dirt On My Grave Just Yet – Juliet Barnes (Nashville)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: A Reboot No One Asked For Coming to NBC: When Veronica Mars got itself kickstarted back into existence, it started the inevitable discussion of what should follow it, of course Firefly, Terriers, and every Bryan Fuller show got mentioned. One show that has never gotten mentioned by anyone in the reboot discussion was Heroes. Yet NBC announced very late last Saturday night (if people dump bad news on Friday afternoon hoping that it will get forgotten in the weekend rush, what does it mean to drop a press release on Saturday night) that Heroes Reborn will be returning for a 13 episode mini-series event.

Not else was released about it other than creator Tim Kring will be back as executive producer. No cast has been mention, but not surprisingly most of the former cast is available other than the cheerleader (who may become available in May as Nashville is currently floundering, but then again, everything on ABC currently so it is really a tossup; a Lost reboot announcement may soon follow).

People who watched Heroes typically fall into one of two camps; there are those that think that the show fell off a cliff creatively after the first season, and people like me who never thought the show was very good in the first place aside from the occasional episode written by Bryan Fuller (who is currently the creator of Hannibal another rating adversed show so he may or may not be available by the Heroes gets started). But Heroes is coming back because superheroes are big again, Marvel launched an empire that came into the televised terrain this season (and will expand onto Netflix with five other shows soon) while DC is playing catch up with multiple shows (most of them not linked) in the works. But why NBC would choose to reboot a universally disliked show is still a head scratcher. If they were going to reboot a sci-fi show, why not the much superior Quantum Leap? I would even take a Misfits of Science reboot over Heroes.


Preview Picture of the Week:

"Brotherhood" Perception, Tuesday at 10:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: Live From Austin City Limits – Needtobreathe (Noise Trade)

New Album Release of the Week: G I R L - Pharrell Williams

New DVD Release of the Week: Garden State [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: Orphan Black was easily the biggest surprise of 2013. It was BBC America’s first original scripted series, co-produced by a Canadian network (whose sci-fi shows range from watchable to laughably bad) starring an unknown in almost ten different roles, and airing on Saturday nights. How anyone found it in the first place is a mystery, but I caught up last summer thanks to On Demand (as far as I know the whole fitrst season is still there if you want to catch up). The show ended up being one of the best shows on television. Orphan Black returns April 19 and below is the first trailer for season two:


Next Week Pick of the Week: Shear Madness, Tonight at 10:00 on Nat Geo Wild: Just when yuou thought reality television had exhausted every occupation on the planet, tonight sees the premiere of Shear Madness. The show follows Natalie Redding, a former model turned shepherdess with a master’s degree in animal sciences who runs a successful sheep, goat, and fiber business. Her husband is Sean who is dubbed “son of hair care icon Jheri Redding” who I am under the assumption was the inventor of the Jheri Curl.

The 10 Greatest Hate-Watching Television Shows of the Past Decade

Hate Watching seems to be a new phenomenon. I do not remember a show in my youth that I really hated watching (granted younger people are easier to amuse). I am sure the first question is why do you watch television shows you hate? The answer is quite simple, I really like complaining, I like it almost as much as I do watching great show (and let’s face it, it is a lot easier to find shows to hate watch than great shows). Plus I am a completist. If I watch a second episode I will be watching the show until the series finales. I can count the number of shows I quit from the past decade in the middle of it run on my hands. So in honor of The Killing returning this Sunday, here are the 10 Greatest Hate Watching

1. Lost
How Far Did I Get Through? Watched every 121 episode as well as all fourteen recap specials.
When Did it Go Bad? The first season finale.

Not only is this number one on the list, Lost for all intents and purposes invented hate watching. The first season was really good, it built this mysterious island, filled it interesting characters; there were intriguing flashbacks where people would randomly run into each other. And then the extremely three hour season finale came and nothing happened and everyone realized that the writers were making it all up as they went along. The characters spend the entire back half the season trying to open the hatch, and when they finally did… fade to black, see you next summer. I never truly enjoyed the show after that but had to stick around to see what everything meant. As it turned out, it meant nothing. If I could, I would sue the show to get six years of my life back.

2. The Killing
How Far Did I Get Through? Watched the first two seasons, have no intentions to watch the third (though ask me Monday to see if I could stay away)
When Did it Go Bad? After they spent four episodes with the teacher as the main suspect only for him to be cleared and were back at square one with no leads.

Prior to The Killing AMC billed itself as the “Place Where Stories Matter” they were racking up awards with the well received (and overly pretentious) shows Mad Men and Breaking Bad, so anticipation was high and The Killing lived up to it. But as each episode passed, everyone started to realize maybe it was not the best idea to stretch out an episode of Law and Order for an entire season. But at least we could rest in the solace that we would learn who killed Rosie Larson in the season finale. So the finale rolls around, Linden catches the city councilman and it is finally over. Except then you look at your clock and wonder why there is still five minutes left. Oh wait, evidence was faked, the mayor did not do it, come back for season two to find out who killed Rosie. What the frack! So I had to sit through another horrible season that somehow managed to be worse than the first only to find out who did it and the reasoning was extremely lame. If I start to watch the third season, please someone kill me. You can even have my aunt knowingly push a random car into a lake with me in the trunk.

3. Heroes
How Far Did I Get Through? Once they killed off Kristen Bell, I was out. Heroes was one of only three times I stopped watching a series mid-season (Jericho season one and Supernatural season two are the other ones).
When Did It Go Bad? Some would argue that the show went downhill in its second season; I would argue it never was any good.

Really, the only good episode in the series was the one written by Bryan Fuller (can you image how much better the show would have been had Fuller created it). The storylines were lame, the acting was worse, and the Big Bad was laughably bad. Even worse, Kristen Bell, fresh off the great Veronica Mars, got stuck slumming it with some horrible actor is an extremely silly plotline. I actually cheered when she was killed off because that meant I had a reason to stop watching and it freed Bell to move unto something better, which she did not because all she did afterwards was a string of cheesy chick flicks. (As rumor have it, Bell was offered the role of Charlotte on Lost at the same time but choose Heroes because she had just spent a couple months in Hawaii, where Lost set up camp, filming Forgetting Sarah Marshall.)

4. Survivor: Redemption Island
How Far Did I Get Through? Begrudgingly watched every episode, and every episode since.
When Did It Go Bad? The moment they cast Boston Rob and Russell Hantz.

There have been some bad seasons of Survivor but I never thought we would ever see one as bad as the season the porn star won. Then they announced Redemption Island which was curse from the start. Again Survivor has introduced some stupid twists, but Redemption Island was the worse. And it turned out to be a failure. Every person voted out would not actually leave the game but instead be exiled to Redemption Island where they could fight their way back into the game. Except in the two seasons that used Redemption Island, all four contestants reintroduced into the game were promptly voted off again. And if the cheesy gimmick was not enough, the show reintroduced my two least favorite returning players ever, Boston Rob and Russell. Thankfully Russell’s tribe was smart enough to dump him first but Rob stuck it out to the end and his airtight alliance with some of the dumbest people ever to play the game made the post merge episode painful to sit through because nothing happened. On the bright side, the season did give us Andrea, the Hottest Token Hot Chick in the History of Survivor.

5. How I Met Your Mother
How Far Did I Get Through? Have watched every episode so far and with only one season left will undoubtedly make it through all ten seasons.
When Did it Go Bad? It really was a slow decline but if I had to pick one singular moment, I was always disappointed when Victoria left the show for the first time, I was always hoping she would turn out to be the titular character.

This show is on the list simply because it has ran way too long especially considering its concept. Ted has been telling the story of how he met their mother for nine years now and we just met her during the most recent season finale. Keep in mind, just the audience met the mother, Ted has not even met her yet. Who sits through a story that long? Apparently I do.

6. Smallville
How Far Did I Get Through? When Lana Lang left, so did I.
When Did It Go Bad? Seriously, you do not let the Token Hot Chick leave.

Much like the previous selection, the show just went on about twice as long as it should have been. The show started out as a high school show and the series with Clark out of high school ended up bring more than two times longer than he was taking classes.

7. The Walking Dead
How Far Did I Get Through? Watched every episode so far (including a couple episodes of Talking Dead) and will continue to do so).
When Did It Go Bad? Even though the first season was slow, the farm sucked massively.
This probably should be higher on the list because it is worse than many of those shows, but as long as I get to see one zombie die violently per episode, I do get some enjoyment out of the show.

8. The Real World
How Far Did I Get Through? Las Vegas was the tipping point for me.
When Did It Go Bad? Vegas was just too trashy for me.

The Real World started out as great voyeurism that touched subject matter than even scripted television shows would not touch. I met my first gay homosexual (Norman), first HIV infected person (Pedro), first hot lesbian (Genesis), and the first person to ever wire their mouth shut to lose weight (Tami). Then in Chicago, the producers put camera in the bedroom where we watched Cara have sex live on camera with some random dude (and this is after a groupie hook up with who my sources tell me was Big Head Todd of the Monsters fame). Care then opened up the floodgates for Las Vegas which was like Sodom and Gomorrah: the Reality Show thanks to Trishelle. At the same time, MTV launched The Challenge where I still got my Real World fix.

9. Political Shows
How Far Did Get Through? 24 hour news remains my go to when avoiding commercials.
When Did it Go Bad? Probably when Fox News went hard right and MSNBC tried to be the counterpoint by going hard left.

As a political junkie, I cannot not watch the talking heads on the twenty-four news networks (with the exception of Rachel Maddow and Sean Hannity, you have to draw the line somewhere) even if they have gotten deeply partisan over the years. You have conservatives complain that MSNBC treats the president with kid gloves while tingles ride up their legs while Fox News rails against the mainstream media even though they are the most watched cable news station, it does not get much more mainstream than that. At least W. Kamau Bell has the common courtesy to call his show Totally Biased. And it looks to only get more partisan in the upcoming months when One America News launches which is being sold as a new station for people who think Fox News is too liberal. Great. It is a shame the most balanced news show on cable is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

10. Once Upon a Time
How Far Did Get through? Have watched every episode not including the recap specials) and will probably continue to watch next season along with the presumably just as bad Once Upon a Time: Wonderland spin-off next season too.
When Did it Go Bad? With the introduction of magic in the first season finale.

Considering what is number one on this list, I probably should have avoided anything “from the writers of Lost” like the plague, but like Lost, the set up was too interesting to pass up. And hopefully the writers from Lost would learn from their mistakes. They did not, there are still plot holes so big you can sail the Jolly Rodger through it. And though the writers deserve to have plenty of poetic license, they go too far like ruining Neverland and what moron decided to cast an Abercrombie model as Captain Hook or even include Dr. Frankenstein at all? Much like Heroes, it is hard not to wonder how much better this show would be if it were being run by Bryan Fuller. But if the show were created by Bryan Fuller, it would have been canceled already. With that said, I will probably not only still watch next season but will probably watch the Wonderland spin-off.

The 50 Biggest Disappointments of the 00's

1. Bud Selig letting baseball become unwatchable (Big Head Barry becoming the home run king, A-Roid getting a ring, letting the Red Sox roid themselves up to break The Curse, the All-Star Game tie, etc.)

2. The death of Napster

3. The CW thinking shows like Farmer Takes a Wife, 90210, Melrose Place, Life Is Wild, The Pussycat Dolls, High Society, and Fly Girls were better alternatives that Veronica Mars

4. The football team formerly known as the Browns winning a Super Bowl in the second year of The real Browns expansion, who only won three games that year

5. Kanye West going emo

6. The rise of Ringtone Rappers and auto-tune

7. Here is something I could not understand: how Landry Clarke could just kill a man

8. The Writer’s Strike

9. Dave Chappelle going crazy; ending Chappelle's Show after only two seasons

10. Bill Belichicken cheating his way to multiple Super Bowls wins

11. Fox canceling The Lone Gunmen, Undeclared, Firefly, A Minute with Stan Hooper, Keen Eddie, The Jury, The Inside, Point Pleasant, and Reunion after (and sometime before) just one season

12. Having to constantly hear about American Karaoke

13. The entire Heroes series, and having Kristen Bell slum it on such a horribly written / acted show

14. The Steelers winning two ref assisted Super Bowl

15. TV Guide going bigger

16. Basically everything after the season one finale of Lost

17. 50 Cent deciding to make music for suburban white teenage girls

18. The Jay Leno Hour

19. Fergie joining the Black Eyed Peas

20. Having to wait fifteen years for the mediocre Chinese Democracy (and Dr. Pepper not delivering on their promise of a free can)

21. MTV deciding to cater to teenage girls who were too busy texting to care about their crappy shows

22. The Democrats unable to nominate someone competent enough to even beat George Bush

23. Superman Return

24. X & Y - Coldplay

25. The shrinking Rolling Stone

26. The Pirates of the Caribbean sequels

27. Y2K

28. Hollywood ruining my childhood (Transformers, Dukes of Hazard, etc.)

29. Trapped in the Closet; Chapters 13-22

30. Kate Bosworth Going Skelator

31. No Detox from Dr. Dre

32. U.S. Basketball Nightmare teams

33. Sam's Town - The Killers

34. Christina Aguilera starting to look like drag queen version of her Genie in a Bottle self

35. Bionic Woman reboot

36. Jay-Z’s Un-retirement song

37. Survivor All Stars

38. Smashing Pumpkins reunion

39. The Hockey lock out

40. The Shins not changing my life like Natalie Portman promised

41. Janet Jackson’s nipple

42. Working On a Dream - Bruce Springsteen

43. Joe Rogan version of The Man Show

44. Any celebrity documentary style reality show after The Osbornes first season

45. The XFL

46. Brett Favre in a Jets Vikings uniform

47. Jerry Springer banning fighting

48. Lindsay Lohan

49. Austin Powers in Goldmember

50. Tara Reid somehow being able to ruin Wild On

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XCIII

Quote of the Week: Miss Gilardi, I don’t like conspiracy theories. I don’t think Princess Diana was murdered by the Royal Family. I don’t think they dissected aliens in Roswell. And I’m pretty (expletive deleted) sure that the grassy knoll in Dallas, just a grassy knoll. (Judge Albert Farnsworth, Raising the Bar)

Song of the Week: Walk Away - Dropkick Murphys (Rescue Me)

Big News of the Week: Oz’s Ernie Hudson Joins Heroes: Okay, nothing Heroes does anymore can be considered “Big News” because no one, including myself, watches it anymore. The big news is the title itself where everywhere across the internets wrote just that: “Oz’s Ernie Hudson Joins Heroes.” I had to do a double take each time I saw that thinking, “was there another Ernie Hudson that happened to be on Oz?” because when I think Ernie Hudson, I think Ghostbusters. Is there really anyone out there that hears the name Ernie Hudson and thinks Oz first?

Coalition Links of the Week:
It's summer, it's hot, and Vance's brain can no longer think in more than 140 characters. He hasn't blogged much lately, but he's twittered the summer away. (Tapeworthy)

This week, Jace had an exclusive interview with Bones showrunner/executive producer Hart Hanson about what to expect from Season Five of Bones, Booth's mental state, Brennan's Guatemalan trip, Angela's celibacy vow, a possible return to London, Stephen Fry, and much more. (Televisionary)

Design Star -- it's no Project Runway, but it'll do during the summer doldrums. Also, Nathan and Dan are good enough eye candy to keep tuning in. (TiFaux)

Dr. Gregory House trying to actually connect with people?!? Matt is excited to see if this House spoiler become a reality. (TV Fanatic)

Buzz geared up for Mad Men's third season with a little quiz about the first two years of the show. (BuzzSugar)

Sandie interviewed Michaela Conlin, who plays Angela on Bones. (Daemon's TV)


Rescue Me: That may have been the most low key wedding ever in the history of television. Made even more shocking with the knowledge that the hooker is apparently loaded. I still don’t see this ending well. You can stream current episodes over at Hulu.



Leverage: It was pretty funny that they ran a Nancy Grace commercial during an episode that called out her and her ilk for being shady and corrupt. You can stream current episodes over at TNT.tv. You can also download Leverage on iTunes.

The Philanthropist: Well that was a surprised that Madestone turned out to be the governor’s brother. Surely didn’t see that one coming. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download The Philanthropist on iTunes.

Free Download of the Week: Fire Escape – Diane Birch (Rcrd Lbl): If you saw my review of the debut album from Diane Birch, Bible Belt (if not see: Love Makes the Price Good Enough to Wanna Pay) then you may have noticed the Song to Download was Fire Escape which you can download for free.

Deal of the Week: Blu-ray Sale: Buy Two, Get One Free (Spaceballs, Office Space, Wayne’s World)

Video of the Week: Just a reminder that CTRL is still airing new episodes (I think they have two more left). The latest, where Buster Bluth learns what CTRL-Z does, may be the funniest yet. Or click the link to view the entire series so far.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Shaq Vs., Tuesday at 9:00 on ABC: Every week the newly Cleveland resident will be taking on other athletes in their sports with Shaq getting a handicap. Hopefully he shows his city’s loyalty by getting in a cheap shot to the knees of Ben Roethlisberger. Also expect Shaq to go up against Michael Phelps, Serena Williams, Oscar De La Hoya, Albert Pujols, Kerry Walsh and Misty May-Treanor.

Fifth Annual Scooter Television Awards

Welcome to the 5th Annual Scooter Television Awards honoring show that aired new episodes between June 2008 and May 2009. Without further ado, here are the winners of the 2007 STA's:

Best Scripted Show: Friday Night Lights

Best Sitcom: The Big Bang Theory

Best Cable Show: Greek

Best Reality Show: Tool Academy

Best Talk Show: Pardon the Interruption

Best New Show: The Middleman

Best Awards Show: 2009 Grammy Awards

Best Hour of TV: Chuck vs. the Colonel (Chuck)

Best Half Hour of TV: The Barbarian Sublimation (The Big Bang Theory)

Worst Idea: Continuing to watch Heroes

Best Shocker: Richard Hatch as John Locke (Lost)

Best Moment: Miles and Hurley debating time travel (Lost)

Best Song Placement: You Got It (The Right Stuff) – Tool Academy

Best Karaoke: Mr. Roboto - Jeffster

Hottest Token Hot Chick:







Best Character: Sheldon Cooper PhD. (The Big Bang Theory)

Best New Character: Louise Brooks (Gary Unmarried)

Best Guest Appearance: Carl Winslow (Chuck)

Most Entertaining Male Reality “Star”: Matuflex (Tool Academy)

Most Entertaining Female Reality “Star”: Sierra Reed (Survivor: Tocantins)

Most Annoying Reality “Star”: Coach (Survivor: Tocantins)

Best Quote: Well, then allow me to put this to you delicately. You see, men are dogs. They come, you know, sniffing around, barking up your tree. But if they don’t see a kitty cat up in that tree, pretty soon they stop barking. Dwight’s not missing. He's barking up somebody else’s tree. (Emerson Cod, Pushing Daisies)

Show That Should Be Brought Back: Pushing Daisies

Biggest Question for 2009-2010: Will Lost have a satisfying ending?

Write-In for Hottest Token Hot Dude:

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. LVII

Quote of the Week: My house is like an Indiana Jones movie: If you move one thing a boulder starts (expletive deleted) at you. (Martin Mull, Gary Unmarried)

Big News of the Week: Tim Kring Thinks I’m a Dip(expletive deleted): And a happy Thanksgiving to Tim Kring too. For those who missed the guy behind Heroes and his full quote, this is what he said about serialized television, of which is show is:

[Serialized storytelling is] a very flawed way of telling stories on network television right now, because of the advent of the DVR and online streaming. The engine that drove [serialized TV] was you had to be in front of the TV [when it aired]. Now you can watch it when you want, where you want, how you want to watch it, and almost all of those ways are superior to watching it on air. So [watching it] on air is related to the saps and the dip(expletive deleted) who can’t figure out how to watch it in a superior way.

Of course Kring is responding to why his show’s viewership has been cut by more than half. And the reason behind that is because the storylines are lame and regurgitated, the acting is unwatchable, and the characters are just not likeable. It is not because online streaming and DVR. And his basis thesis is majorly flawed. How exactly are those methods so superior that those of us watching live are dip(expletive deleted)s? How is watching things online superior to anything? Unless your monitor is bigger than your television and you have couch you can lay down on that just makes no sense to me. But of course I’m a dip(expletive deleted).

What is worse is Kring totally alienated his core audience. Having people watch like is something you want to shoot for because that means people can’t wait to see a new episode. Watercooler shows are not being DVR’ed because people don’t want to be left out of the discussion the next day. But then again, what do I know, I’m a dip(expletive deleted) that is not even pretentious enough to have a DVR. And with that I am done with Heroes, thanks Tim Kring for giving me a reason to finally cut the cord. Now please kill of Kristen Bell so she can find work on a real show.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



The Big Bang Theory: I never thought I would say this, but Sheldon became too much this week. This is mostly attributed to his knocking fixation which they have done about five too many times know, even if Penny opening the door earlier gag, disrupting Sheldon’s rhythm was still funny. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Chuck: A week later and I am still trying to decide what was funnier, Big Mike saving Casey or Chuck in the spinning thing. But one thing that bugged me though is why didn’t Casey and Sarah bring Jill in right away because they should have known that she knew that they knew she was a spy. Although I’m not sure that just made much sense to me. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: When did How I Met Your Mother get so consistent again? Dare I say since Stella got the boot? But as funny as it was I don’t think I will be trying out the Nake Man anytime soon
You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Pushing Daisies: I would like to think that Pushing Daisies would be above doing an Anna Nicole Smith episode, but sadly I was round. That is one ba-dunk-a-dunk I cannot get behind. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com.



Gary Unmarried: I know this doesn’t say much bet this was the best episode of the year. Hopefully the parents are back for Christmas. And Easter. Might as well write them in for Flag Day too. Or just just have Martin Mull actually separate with Jane Curtain and move in with Gary for a while. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.


For those who wonder what my voice sounds like, my question got answered on not one but two different podcasts recently. If you check them out I would like to preface it by saying 1) I stand by my assertion that calling something “goofy” is not a term of endearment, 2) If you don’t get my pop culture references that is your problem not mine, and 3) like it was brought up I am a little too much like Sheldon, apparently right down to not being to properly convey sarcasm. With that said download these episodes for more me:

TV Talk with GMMR and Ducky (Podcast 31)

TV Times Three (Fall Status Report)

Free Download of the Week: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas - Harry Connick Jr. (iTunes): Thanksgiving is over so it is time to overdose on Christmas music to the point that I am already tire of the genre before December hits double digits. For even more free Christmas music also check out Tony Bennett who also has a holiday song for free.



Video of the Week: Monday is the start of 25 Days of Christmas on ABC Family of which I will post the full schedule tomorrow. Until then here is a promo for the event:



Next Week Pick of the Week: Grammy Nominations Concert Live!!, Wednesday at 9:00 on CBS: For those of you like me that think three hours of performances that the Grammy’s bring us every year are in luck because this year the nominations are being announced in prime time this year with music in between from John Mayer, B.B. King, Taylor Swift, the Foo Fighters and, um, Céline Dion. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, following right after on the Eye Network: Half Naked Model Hour. Hopefully Céline Dion is not included there.