I Want My Music Television: 10/1/2018

Africa - Weezer


What strange long trip this year has been to Weezer’s biggest hit in over a decade. From a kid requesting they cover Toto on Twiiter because she heard the song on Stranger Things and culminates with “Weird Al” Yankovic. Though if you are going to parody Undone, where are the dogs? Even Africa mentions wild dogs crying out in the night.


Mary Don't You Weep (Piano & a Microphone 1983 Version) - Prince


Leave to Prince to have one of the best albums of the year even after he died with a simple piano live to tape album. And he does not get enough credit for his social activism despite Sign O’ the Times being very profound, but the video just follow his legacy in that matter.


Colors - Beck


Here is a video Beck released six months ago on Apple Music but it has only become available on YouTube now. But anything with Alison Brie and directed by Edgar Wright is certainly worth the wait. Thankfully there have not been many exclusive since.


Head Above Water - Avril Lavigne


Everyone has to grow up sometime (except for maybe Angus Young) but it is weird seeing Avril Lavigne in what could have been a treatment for a Celine Dion music video. Unfortunately the song is about as boring as a Celine Dion ballad.

I Want My Music Television: 4/29/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Sheezus – Lily Allen


Lily Allen’s new song is cool in a M.I.A. kind of way with a freaky music video, but Lily, no one wants to hear about your period. No one.


Marilyn Monroe - Pharrell Williams


Oh Pharrell, the hat was a good way to grab attention at the Grammy’s, but after you sold it to Arby’s, that should have been it, going with different colors of the same hat is being to be a bad look. And what is with the random Kelly Osbourne sighting in the video?


First Things First – Neon Trees


I was thoroughly underwhelmed by the latest Neon Trees album as a whole. First Things First did not stand out when I listened to it in the context of the album, but now hearing it outside the context of the album, I like it much more than the other singles released from it. Plus the video does a really god job creating a connection with the band.


Hello Kitty - Avril Lavigne


Just last week I was mentioning that if something if someone claims something is not racist, I am inclined to go into it assuming that it is racist. Avril Lavigne set off an internet firestorm with accusations of racism with her new video so much that it was actually pulled for a short time. Stupidly someone put it back up, not because it is overtly racist (she is not doing anything that Gwen Stefani did a decade ago for a whole album cycle) but because the video, racist or not, and song may be the most embarrassing someone posted this year.

I Want My Music Television: 10/21/13

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Gorilla – Bruno Mars


I probably do not give Bruno Mars enough credit because I find the majority of his music bland and I really only have room for one animal sex song on in my library and that slot goes to Closer, but I have to take this time to thank him for casting Freda Pinto in his latest music video.


Submarines – The Lumineers


When I saw the dude drink the submarine, I could not help think of the scene in Poltergeist (or maybe one of the many sequels) where the dude drank the demon worm in the bottle of Tequila and very bad things started to happen to him. Thanks The Lumineers, now I will not be able to sleep again for days. I just got over watching that scene as a child.


If I Loved You – Delta Rae


C’mon chick from Delta Rae, you cannot just walk out on a dude after you get a puppy with him. That is just bad form.


Let Me Go - Avril Lavigne featuring Chad Kroeger


It was weird enough to hear Avril Lavigne and the dude from Nickelback got married and he was going to produce her latest album, but did they really need to record a song and creepy video together?

I Want My Music Television: 8/28/13

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Rock and Roll – Avril Lavigne


I am trying to figure out what the most offensive part of this music video is: 1) the shameless product placement, 2) the shameless rip-off of the November Rain video, or 3) that Avril Lavigne got to make out with Winnie Cooper before I did. #3, definitely number three.


Rooftop – Dave Matthews Band


It seems like once per album where the Dave Matthews Band puts out a music video where Dave just walks around like a crazy person, this time around they actually put him in an asylum. Makes you wonder what would have happened to him had he not been the lead singer of the biggest touring band of his generation.


Mind Your Manners – Pearl Jam


Pearl Jam is back with a new music video and it pretty much looks like every other video they have made since they started making videos ago where they just play in front of images of vaguely political images.


Home Again – Elton John


Elton John has also shunned music videos of late as I cannot remember the last time he appeared in one of his own; he even had Justin Timberlake stand in for him a couple years ago. But now it is some random dude who at some point lived about a mile from the moon? Or some dude who lives on the moon which is a mile from the Earth? I am not entirely sure what this video is trying to say except for maybe it is hard to go back home.

I Want My Music Videos: 5/20/13

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Brave - Sara Bareilles


Oh Sara Bareilles, I love you and all, but if being brave meas dancing like a fool in public, I would rather be a coward.


Here's to Never Growing Up - Avril Lavigne


I hate to break it to Avril Lavigne, only grown ups sing Radiohead and carry around a boom box.


Blowin' Smoke - Kacey Musgraves


Since Alice from Alice just popped up in the upcoming horrible show with Sean Hayes, I have been thinking about the show lately and I have to say I am a bit disappointed that none of the waitresses in the video said, “Kiss my gritz.” I am also slightly disappointed that McG did not direct this video, because the bridge would have been a great place for Kacey Musgraves to break out into a cheesy dance sequence.


Final Warning - Skylar Grey


And I thought the over sexualized video that Skylar Grey last made was weird, this just took it to another level. This album is going to be one schizophrenic mess, hopefully in a good way.

The 40 Worst Songs of 2011

You want to know just how bad music was this year, what was claimed by the internet earlier this year as the single worst song ever in the history of the world barely even made my list of the worst songs of the past twelve months.

1. True Faith - George Michael



2. Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO

3. Do It Like a Dude - Jessie J

4. Swagger Jagger - Cher Lloyd

5. Jam (Turn It Up) - Kim Kardashian

6. E.T. - Katy Perry

7. I Wanna Go - Britney Spears

8. Wet the Bed - Chris Brown featuring Ludacris

9. T.H.E (The Hardest Ever) - will.i.am featuring Mick Jagger and Jennifer Lopez

10. Dirt Road Anthem (Remix) - Jason Aldean featuring Ludacris

11. Run the World (Girls) - Beyoncé

12. Leck mich im Arsch - Jack White and the Insane Clown Posse

13. Mr. Saxobeat - Alexandra Stan

14. Champagne Showers - LMFAO featuring Natalia Kills

15. The View - Lou Reed and Metallica

16. This Is What Rock n Roll Looks Like - Porcelain Black featuring Lil’ Wayne

17. Fly - Nicki Minaj featuring Rihanna

18. Rolling In the Deep - as sung by anyone not named Adele

19. Blow - Ke$ha

20. On The Floor - Jennifer Lopez featuring Lil’ Wayne

21. Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) - Katy Perry

22. Hold It Against Me - Britney Spears

23. Bass Down Low - Dev featuring The Cataracs

24. Judas - Lady Gaga

25. We R Who We R - Ke$ha

26. Just Can't Get Enough - Black Eyed Peas

27. Till the World Ends - Britney Spears

28. Super Bass - Nicki Minaj

29. That Should Be Me (Remix) - Justin Bieber featuring Rascal Flatts

30. Don't Wanna Go Home - Jason Derulo

31. Give Me Everything - Pitbull featuring Ne-Yo, Afrojack and Nayer

32. Bow Chicka Wow Wow - Mike Posner featuring Lil’ Wayne

33. Wet - Nicole Scherzinger

34. Yoü and I - Lady Gaga

35. John - Lil’ Wayne fearuring Rick Ross

36. Perform This Way – “Weird Al” Yankovic

37. What the Hell - Avril Lavigne

38. Friday - Rebecca Black

39. Footloose - Blake Shelton

40. Motherlover - The Lonely Island Boys featuring Justin Timberlake

I Want My Music Television - 2/3/11

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


What the Hell - Avril Lavigne



Avril Lavigne should go back to her faux-punk routine because this sex pop act does not work at all.


Rill Rill – Sleigh Bells



Well that Sleigh Bells got violent out of nowhere. Yet I still find the lead singer oddly attractive.


Untitled – Lykke Li



But weirdest video of the week goes to Lykke Li who poses the question do you really need music to make a music video?


Crazy for You – Best Coast



And for all the cat lovers out there, the latest from Best Coast.

I Want My Music Television vol. LXXIV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Giving up the Gun – Vampire Weekend



Sure the whole world is focused on Winter sports right now (and how the Americans went to Canada to upset the host nation last night), but Vampire Weekend are still stuck in the Hamptons mindset and featured tennis in their new video and who better than the RZA to be the referee. And as a tennis coach? Of course, Lil John, because he always tells the truth.


Maybe So, Maybe So – Mayer Hawthorne



Another summer pastime, instead of the thrilling snowboard cross, we get a leisurely skateboarding romp in the latest Mayer Hawthorne video.


Alice – Avril Lavigne



Straight from her ProActive commercial (seriously, how much money are they paying all these celebrities to go on television and say, “look how bad my skin used to be”) Avril Lavigne gets the theme to the new Alice in Wonderland movie. Considering his track record on reenvisioning (Sleepy Hollow, Planet of the Apes, Willy Wonka) I am not sure why Tim Burton is going back to that well again considering how inventive his original ideas are.


The Only Exception – Paramore



Get your lighters ready, it’s a Paramore power ballad.

I Want My Music Television vol. XXIV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


>The Best Damn Thing - Avril Lavigne



If revoking NAFTA means an end to Avril Lavigne’s pink and punk era comes to an end here in America I am all for it. It was moderately cute circa Girlfriend, but she has gone way over the line of tolerability with this video.


I’m Your - Jason Mraz



Jason Mraz is one of those artist that makes some crappy music, yet every once in a while can create a completely great track. I’m Yours is one of the latter in that is just a quintessential springtime song. And if you have time you really want to hunt down the mash-up How Six Songs Collide that landed at number 14 of the Best Mash Up’s of 2007 list.


Strange Times - The Black Keys



If I am not mistaken I think I was an orientation instructor back in college for one half of The Black Keys (and while I am name dropping I routinely hit on a future Playmate of the Month while working at the Recreation Center in college too). Despite the connection, I have never checked out any of the group’s album even though I have been meaning to for years now. Hopefully the great laser tag themed video (hey, we need a way to fulfill our paintball urges when there is too much snow on the ground) will finally get me around to that.


Mercy - Duffy



For those of you that like the retro stylings of Amy Winehouse but could do without the course language and tabloid antics, give a listen to Duffy (not to be confused with the MTV VJ of the nineties) who does the retro vibe much closer to the sixties girl groups.

I Want My Music Television vol. VII

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Hot - Avril Lavigne



Just in time for Halloween, quite possibly the scariest music video since Thiller. Seriously, the Marilyn Manson pop bride and uber-bangs looks just are not working for Avril Lavigne. Although in a measure of full disclosure the green get up almost makes Avril look attractive. Now if only she would get rid of the silly pink extension.


Won’t Go Home Without You - Maroon 5



In a shocking twist to a Maroon 5 video, it doesn’t feature Adam Levine (not to be confused with the previously mentioned Avril Lavigne) making out with various token hot chicks. And if I am not mistaken, the chick that Levine doesn’t make out with looks a lot like Rousseau’s daughter on Lost after a couple showers. Can anyone get confirmation to if that is her?


Hate That I Love You - Rihanna and NeYo



Well that well was gratuitous. Um, not that I am complaining or anything. The song is actually kind of catchy too, which is a plus so I don’t have to watch it with the mute button on. But should I know who this NeYo character is?


Falling Down - Duran Duran



Speaking of gratuitous, did we really need the five minute intro of some Lohan type being dropped off at some weird model detox place? The Notorious riff at the end was a nice touch though. As for the song, with Timbaland as the producer, it still sound what one would expect a Duran Duran song would sound like. Hopefully there are better tracks when the Red Carpet Massacre is released later this year.

Don't Download These Videos vol. XXI

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Working Class Hero - Green Day

I’ve never been much of a John Lennon guy, but this Samuel Bayer directed clip of Green Day’s version of Working Class Hero is a must see. The song is featured on Instant Karma: The Amnesty International Campaign to Save Darfur, an charity that benefits Amnesty International with money going to stop the violence and disease that has killed over a half a million over the past four years. Although I think it would be best to just grab this song and U2’s Instant Karma on iTunes (where there are ten songs you won’t find on the CD) and donate the rest of the money directly to AI because I’m not sure if anyone really needs to hear Avril Lavigne’s take on Imagine. Girlfriend (Dr. Luke Mix) - Avril Lavigne Featuring Lil Mama Speaking of Avril Lavigne, she a yet another new video out. For those who found the original version of Girlfriend disturbing you may want to avoid this one because it is even more disturbing. This is mostly thanks to Lil’ Mama, most famous for her Lip Gloss song. And if you have never heard it, you are luckier than I. For Reasons Unknown - The Killers Four videos deep and The Killers are still holding on to that Spaghetti Western persona. And with each passing single I am warming up to Sam’s Town more and more. Maybe within five years I may actually begin to like the album. (Scooter's Note: his is the first time I attempted AOL's snag feature so hopefully it works. Scooter's Update: Well that failed miserably, back to YouTube.) Before He Cheats - Joe This may be the most entertaining thing I have heard in a long time or at the very least since Kanye West remixed Throw Some D’s. You may or may not remember Joe as the guy who implored that he wasn’t a player and had a girl who stuttered. But this is by fair his best work. Gotta love how he flipped the line to, “She’s probably singing some ghetto version of Mariah Careyoke.” Seeing Joe take on Carrie Underwood harkens back to the day when R&B and country artist would mix where Ray Charles would release a country album and Kenny Rogers would show up on the R&B charts. Aw the good ol’ day.

Don't Download These Videos vol. XIX

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys



Take out the obvious Karma Police rip off of an ending, and the latest from the Arctic Monkeys could be the most entertaining video of the year. C’mon, old dudes and clowns beating the crap out of each other, how has someone not thought of this already?


Stranger - Hilary Duff



I never thought it would happen, but someone when and made Hilary Duff remotely attractive, specifically the Indian set up and the purple dress look. Granted even though she looks almost good, it is still hard not to laugh during her dance sequence. As for the plot of the video, your guess is as good as mine.


When You’re Gone - Avril Lavigne



I’m not sure what we need less in the world, another silly little pop song that shamelessly exploits the war, this time from a Canadian no less, are a love song written about the dude from Sum41. Okay, but at least the whole walls falling down near the end were pretty cool so I will give Avril Lavigne some points there.


The Rat Cage - Beastie Boys



I own every Beastie Boys album, but I’m not sure I can get behind an album of all instrumentals. They are cool when they slip one or two on a usual album and The Rat Cage is really funky, but I’m sure I would want to hear their trademark quirky lyrics eventually. Hopefully one of those isn’t too far behind. As for the video, it is still classic Beasties.

She’s One of Those Girls, They’re Nothing but Trouble

From her first album to her second, there seemed to be growth to Avril Lavigne as she moved from the power pop to a more rock sound. After the second album the maturity seemed to grow as she got married and released the Celine Dion type power balled from a movie that no one saw. Then the Girlfriend video came out and everyone saw that Avril had traded in her neckties for high heels, hot pants, and pink streaks in her hair. It’s almost as see saw Britney shave her hair and thought that if anyone could fill the void of blonde pop princess with a trashy husband, why not her?

With the image makeover, the songs on The Best Damn Thing aren’t musically that far from those that made up her debut. But that makes it a step backwards; sure the songs here are catchy like Complicated, but they are most disposable of disposable pop whereas songs like My Happy Ending have a mush longer staying power. Everything Back but You is just a rehash of Sk8ter Boi, though it does have the best line on the disk, “I wish you were her, you left out the ‘e’.” Classic. When she slow things down things only gets worse. Keep Holding On is stuck on the end, and songs like When You’re Gone just bogs down the album.

One of the reasons why When You’re Gone loses its weight is because you can’t help listening to it and thinking it is about her husband. Seriously, do we really need sappy loves dongs about the dude from Sum41? Even more embarrassing for Whibley than the love song written about him is I Don’t Have to Try where Avril starts of the song in another faux rap like the breakdown from Girlfriend, I’m the one, the one that wears the pants.” But then again, how can you embarrass a guy who is a notch in Paris Hilton’s bedpost.

Hopefully by the next album, Avril will have stopped taking her giddy pills that she took in the making of this album because smiling and happy Avril. As catchy as some of the songs are, they will be forgotten by the time the next power pop girl releases her album of forgettable middle school anthems. And since they seem like they come out once a month, that won’t be too long.

Song to Download - Runaway

The Best Damn Thing gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Toss Up: Christina Aguilera vs Avril Lavigne

It’s not all that uncommon to see the same themes throughout the entertainment industry. A couple summers ago there were competing asteroid destroying the Earth movies, this past year there were two television shows that dealt with backstage at a Saturday Night Live clone ironically on the same network. And last week, there was not one, but two music videos premieres that featured the singer as a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. Again the irony being that they are both on the same record label. So let’s fire up a game of Toss Up to see which video is better. First let’s take a look at the two videos:


Candyman - Christina Aguilera




Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne




To check out the videos on YouTube, click the bold links above the videos, to buy the songs, click on their names in the Toss Up below, also if you want to buy the Avril Lavigne video, click here. Now to the Toss Up:

Sounds Like
Christina Aguilera: Something from a World War II USO
Avril Lavigne: Something from an Ashlee Simpson album
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Looks Like
Christina Aguilera: A drag queen
Avril Lavigne: Christina circa 1999 with bad teeth
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Former Look
Christina Aguilera: A dirrty, dirrty girl
Avril Lavigne: A tie wearing pseudo punk
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Obscene Lyric
Christina Aguilera: He’s my one stop shop with a real big (expletive deleted)
Avril Lavigne: Don’t pretend that I think you know I’m (expletive deleted) precious and (expletive deleted) yeah I’m the (expletive deleted) princess
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Dance Sequence
Christina Aguilera: Something out of a gap commercial ten years ago
Avril Lavigne: Something from a Tony Basil video two decades ago
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Hang Out
Christina Aguilera: A malt shop
Avril Lavigne: A putt-putt golf course
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Song Promotes
Christina Aguilera: Monogamy
Avril Lavigne: Home wrecking
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Daring Fashion Choice
Christina Aguilera: The Aunt Jemima bandana
Avril Lavigne: Knee high striped socks with high heels
Winner: Avril Lavigne


YouTube Views (as of when I posted this)
Christina Aguilera: 23,416
Avril Lavigne: 146,852
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Husband
Christina Aguilera: Some random Jewish dude
Avril Lavigne: The dude from Sum41
Winner: Christina Aguilera


As a Blonde
Winner: Christina Aguilera


As a Brunette
Winner: Christina Aguilera


As a Redhead
Winner: Avril Lavigne


So there you have it, by the numbers, Christina Aguilera is your winner. Agree, disagree? That’s what the comment section is for. (Did I mention I recently got rid of the Word Verification? But I did make it so you cannot comment anonymously to combat spammers)

Public Service Announcement #2

Never, under any circumstance, shovel snow on Valentines Day or any day where Sting-type length of dirty, dirty sex sessions. And if must shovel snow for some reason on days like Valentines Day, definitely don’t volunteer to shovel your neighbor’s driveway even if they have been ordered not to do any manual labor and wouldn’t be able to leave the house if you weren’t nice enough to shovel his driveway. Don’t do it, there is important baby making duties to do on Valentines Day (even if babies aren’t the result you are looking for). Unfortunately I didn’t take my own advice and spend four hour today shoveling snow and am now almost too tired to watch the Beauty and the Geek Finale.

And for those of you south of the Mason-Dixon Line or west of the Rockies who are asking themselves, “What is this snow that Scooter is talking about?” I even have a Public Service Announcement for you too: If you need to lose some weight, move to the Snow Belt. I’ve lost ten pounds in the last two days with all the snow we gotten. Of course the most important part in the weight loss is that do not buy a snow blower. You see those lazy neighbors that have snow blowers and were done in ten minutes certainly didn’t even lose a pound over the last 48 hours.

Valentines Day wasn’t a complete waste though as Avril Lavigne was nice enough to send me a Valentines Day card. Okay so when I opened it up she said she doesn’t like my girlfriend (apparently this is the title of her upcoming single off her new album coming out in April). So in the last year I’ve gotten a Valentines Card from Avril Lavigne a Christmas gift from Katharine McPhee and a birthday card from Kristen Bell (to be technical I got a card from Kristen on my birthday). With St. Patrick Day in month, maybe Mandy Moore, who has an album coming out in May, will come out to have a green beer with me. On a side note, is it wrong for someone who is called a music elitist to be way too excited for a new Mandy Moore album?

In complete unrelated television site MeeVee is launching it’s new site tomorrow so be sure to check that out then. Well unless it’s already Thursday when you read this and you can check it out now. I have more information on it but I have a lot of television to sleep through tonight (Friday Night Lights, Beauty and the Geek, Let’s Rob Mick Jagger, Lost), so I may post that later tonight or tomorrow. Also be sure to stop by for Lyrics Quiz dedicated to all of you that didn’t celebrate a holiday today.