Best of the Week vol. XXXII

Quote of the Week: Just like Bartowski, bring a knife to a gun fight. (Casey, Chuck)

Song of the Week: One Night in Bangkok – Murray Head (The Big Bang Theory)

Big News of the Week: Lost Returns for the Last Time: And surprisingly I excited about the show for the first time since season one. Of course this may have something to do with me taking five minutes to figure out how Lost will end (if you are interested to know too, check out First Impressions: Lost the Final Season). And much of the discussion is about the dueling timelines which apparently have been dubbed “flashsideways.” Speaking of my orginal post on the Lost season premiere, naturally I left a few things out in my rush of posting it, and I forgot my way out there theory of the week in that Claire is no longer pregnant (we conspicuously never see her belly when Kate hijacks her cab). I am also beginning to think that Christian Sheppard is not a conduit of Jacob as he would like us to believe but was actually, Smokey / Fake Locke / Richard Hatch all along using the name of Jacob to put into action his masterplan.



Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: Choclate Chip – Isaac Hayes (Walmart.com)

Deal of the Week: Save on TV Show Favorites (Friday Night Lights, Kings, Bionic Woman)

Video of the Week: Remember about a year ago there was a special hosted on all the major networks (sans Fox) called Stand Up 2 Cancer? Well the non-profit is still going and has recruited none other than Sheldon Cooper’s alter ego Jim Parsons to show that everyone can make a difference when it comes to fighting the disease.

Up2 You + Me


Next Week Pick of the Week: Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, Thursday at 8:00 on CBS: I hated Survivor: All Stars and when they brought people back for Fans vs. Favorites, it wasn’t much better. Yet I am actually looking forward Heroes vs. Villains (an idea they stole from the Real World / Road Rules Challenge) and they divide up all the devious players from those with a stronger moral compass. Although some odd choices like Candice Woodcock who deserted her tribe as a hero and I am not entirely remember what qualifies Danielle DiLorenzo (who topped my list of The Hottest Token Hot Chicks of Survivor list) and Sandra Diaz-Twine as villains. Be on look out later this week for more Survivor content to get ready for the new season. As a preseason prediction, I will say Stephenie LaGrossa.

Around the Tubes vol. XXXVII

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on NFL Full Contact, Parenthood, Caprica, and FX Movies.

- It was a hard season for us Browns fans and really the only thing that us threw was the hilarious Troy Polamalu Head and Shoulders commercial. Whenever a Steelers fan would give me crap about the Brown all I had to say is “You ask with your eyes (insert name), you ask with your eyes.” And thanks to TruTV, I can pile on even more thanks to this absurdly ridiculous commercial Troy is in and his little yelp. Thanks TruTV.

truTV Super Bowl Ad with Troy "Punxsutawney" Polamalu


- After the Olympics, we will finally get a look at the new Parenthood redo which looks like it may break the do over curse that plagued ever remake on television of last decade. Here is a behind the scenes look:

Inside Parenthood


- The latest episode of Caprica airs tonight and will feature featuring Sasha Roiz’s character Sam Adama. Check out a preview below:

Reins of Waterfall Sneak Peak


- Movies coming to FX this March include The 25th Hour (3/5), Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (3/18), and Eastern Promises (3/25). All movies start at 8:00.

The Hotest Token Hot Chicks of Survivor Ever

Next week marks the start of the twentieth season of Survivor (there is some sort of Survivor special tonight) and sure there should be a discussion of the greatest Survivor contestants of all time (which I will get to later), but what started out as a cool social experiment pitting strangers against themselves in the middle of nowhere has dissolved into a contest of who they can find to fit into the smallest bikini with a cool social experiment going on in the background. Not that I am complaining. And to honor that, here are the 25 Hottest Token Hot Chicks in the history of Survivor who managed to remain hot despite not taking a shower for a month.

1. Danielle DiLorenzo - Panama

2. Monica Padilla - Samoa

3. Amber Brkich - Australia

4. Eliza Orlins - Vanuatu

5. Sydney Wheeler - Tocantins

6. Parvati Shallow - Cook Island

7. Jamie Dugan - China

8. Jenna Morasca - The Amazon

9. Julie Berry - Vanuatu

10. Kimberly Mullin - Palau

11. Morgan McDevitt - Guatemala

12. Paloma Soto-Castillo - Gabon

13. Natalie White - Samoa

14. Michelle Yi - Fiji

15. Kelly Goldsmith - Africa

16. Carolina Eastwood - Tocantins

17. Amanda Kimmel - China

18. Stephenie LaGrossa - Palau

19. Alexis Jones - Micronesia

20. Dolly Neely - Vanuatu

21. Kim Powers - Africa

22. Elisabeth Filarski - Australia

23. Erinn Lobdell - Tocantins

24. Ashley Trainer - Samoa

25. Darrah Johnson - Pearl Island

First Impressions: Lost the Final Season

I call foul. The promo monkeys said The Time for Questions Are Over and though we got some long awaited answers (five years later we finally know what, or who the Smoke Monster is) but they still set up plenty of questions in the season premiere of Lost most notably, how was Faraday both right and wrong about what happened after they set off a hydrogen bomb (they passengers would find themselves back on the plane as if their plane didn’t crash and ending back in real time respectively).

Speaking of that plane ride, did the writers really try to slip in that Shannon didn’t actually get on the plane and stayed with her boyfriend? Again, I call foul. I really hate it when the writers think we are stupid. Seriously, if you couldn’t get Maggie Grace to come back, you could be a little more creative that to change history to get around the fact she isn’t there. And I wouldn’t be so made if I didn’t assume we will never know why this happened. And I could have done without all the cheesy tongue and cheek lines like Charlie saying he was supposed to die, or Boone telling Locke he was pulling his leg. At least Arntz didn’t make any explosion jokes.

That is not to say none of the revisionist history was bad. I am eager to see just how they explain how Desmond ended up on the plane, where is Christian Sheppard’s body (but do not care at all what happened to Locke’s knives). And of course, if the island if 20,000 leagues under the sea, where is Ben, Juliet, Zeke, Richard Alpert (who has to be presumed dead without that healing spring at the temple) and those hired by Whitmore: Faraday, Miles, Charlotte.

Oh, yeah, and there was the healing spring we could always assumed existed since it miraculously saved Ben from Sayid shooting him and ironically saved Sayid after being shot by Ben’s father. Which begs the question, if Smokey needed Locke dying for his loophole, is Sayid Jacob’s loophole to come back to the land of the living? And at the Temple, we finally get a four year question answered in that we finally know what happened to the children, but still no word why The Others took who they did. Not that I really care anymore.

A few question answer in the season finale but I uncovered the biggest question of them all last night: how Lost ends which I am going to explain in the paragraphs below this one. So if you do not want to know how Lost ends, stop reading now (Scooter’s Note: This is not a spoiler per say as I do not have any insider information, but if I were a betting man, I would put a small fee on this being how the show concludes).

Faraday was right, you can reboot time, but he was wrong with the event. The bomb was always “The Incident” and was fated to happen (like I predicted). To use Faraday’s skipping record analogy, when Ben pushed the frozen donkey wheel, it created time to skip, it kept skipping until Locke made it stop, but they were left where Locke made the skipping stop, in the seventies. What the bomb accomplished was the blow the needle back to present day (well, back where Ben is, which I think is 2008).

So the ending of Lost will come when they figure out what that event that will start time will be which is when Jacob finds a loophole that will kill his buddy / Not-Locke / Smokie and in the ruckus, Jack gets decapitated explaining the cut on his neck back on the plane. Then when that happens “The Flashbacks” that we see of the plane are the result of happens from that event. But that just doesn’t reset back to the events of the plane, but the whole history of the island and that is why it is underwater and why Desmond can be on the plane, because he never crashed on the island because it was there. Or to put it in laymen’s term, remember the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode where Cordelia wished Buffy never came to Sunnydale? Everyone but Giles died, and time was reset when he crushed Anya’s medallion. That is what the series finale of Lost will be. Bazinga.

Revisting Lost 1.x

The fans of Lost are basically just like the two main characters on the show: you are either a man of faith, or a man of science. If faith is your bag, you are giddily waiting tonight’s premiere of the last season and trust that the creators will deliver a satisfying end to the series because they have had a plan all along. If you are a man of science, you spent the ten months since the last season finale coming up with the 100 Questions Lost Better Answer or We’ll Be Pissed. I fall into the later and could have easily came up with more than a hundred, but to be honest I stopped caring sometime during the second season and may have dumped the show around the fourth had they not named an end date.

But back when I still was a Lost obsessive, I created my own mini list at the end of the first season with a bunch of unanswered questions bback in 2005 (see Guys (Dramatic Pause) Where Are We). So as we go into the final season, I am jumping into the Dharma time machine and see just how they did in answering questions I was left wondering after season one.


What did Kate do that was so bad that her mom is scared of her?
My Guess: Eco-terrorist blamed for the death of an oil tycoon.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, she blew up her father

How did Locke get in the wheelchair?
My Guess: Complications to surgery.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, his father pushed him out a window.

What is the monster?
My Guess: A specter.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No, Ben ambiguously said it was the island’s security system, but that is really it.
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 75%.

What is the hatch to?
My Guess: A submarine.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, it was to a Dharma station. Not so satisfying, there ended up being an easier entry point.

What happened to Rose?
My Guess: She went looking for her husband around the island.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Not really, she just was not written into those last couple episodes.

Why did the fortune teller change his mind about Claire keeping her baby?
My Guess: The fortune teller didn't change his mind. There is no couple in LA. He saw another castaway's future and made Claire get on that flight.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 10%.

Who was Ethan Rom and why did he want Claire?
My Guess: One of the others looking for the chosen one.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, he was indeed an Other and they wanted to examine how she was pregnant on the island.

How did Claire escape someone who could capture two people at one time?
My Guess: She didn't escape, she was let go after it was realized that her child wasn't the chosen one.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Sort of, she was released by one of The Others but I don’t remember why they didn’t go back after her.

How did Jack single handedly beat up Ethan Rom after be beaten like a red headed step child days earlier?
My Guess: Ethan let him win.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No.
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 0%

Why would Sayid hook up with Shannon after being so close to finding his true love?
My Guess: I, personally, would forget about any past loves if I had a chance with Shannon.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No, but my guess should suffice.

What's with the number?
My Guess: Just a way to connect everyone and everything.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Pretty much, they had to be inputted to keep from the world to end though no word on why those numbers or why they seem to bring bad luck.

What did the French chick say to Hurley to calm him down?
My Guess: Haven't a clue.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No, but to be honest it took me a while to remember exactly what this scene and don’t remember a resolution either.
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 5%

Why did Claire name here kid Aaron? If she lost all her memory, what could the significance of this be?
My Guess: I think the writers screwed up.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No and No
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 25% and 0%.

What do the Others want with Walt?
My Guess: He can control the monster.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Not really, Ben said Jacob wanted him, but we never learn why (besides “he’s special”) and since leaving the island, the writers don’t seem to care about Walt anymore, he didn’t even have to be part of the recreated plane ride back to the island.

What will happen to Michael, Sawyer & Jin?
My Guess: They will float back to the island and will discover the other survivors like Rose's husband and Michelle Rodriguez.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, I guessed correctly.

What will Jack and company find down the hatch?
My Guess: Boone, Ethan Rom, the marshal, Scott and anyone else who died.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, it was a Dharma station manned by Desmond.

Why is a flight from Australia carrying so many non-Australians? By my count there is only one Australian that we have met, Claire.
My Guess: It's an American show.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No, it most likely is just a literary licence.

What was the secret Locke told Walt in the pilot?
My Guess: I'm not sure I really want to know.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No but I am sure Chris Hansen would like to ask some questions about his relationship with Walt.
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 10%.

For a recap of the questions left open after the first season of Lost:
No: 9
Yes: 6
Not Really: 2
Sort Of: 1
Pretty Much: 1

We on Award Tour: 2010 Grammy Awards

Even though music dying, that isn’t going to stop them from be self congratulatory. And even though the awards themselves are worthless (Hilary Clinton has more than The Beach Boys; Neil Young won his first ever this year… for album packaging), there are still plenty of great performances, here are my thoughts on last night’s festivities.

- Remember when opening the Grammy’s was a big thing. Prince being join Beyoncé, Madonna being backed by the Gorillaz performing in 3-D for the first time, the reunited Police, U2 even got things started last year. This year we get the most overrated thing in music possibly ever. Well at least Lady Gaga only covered herslf in soot instead of fake menstrual blood for this performance. So there’s that.

- In lieu of an actual host yet again, we get Stephen Colbert for a pseudo-monologue trashing the music industry (and they still laugh) all but pointing out how Susan Boyle managed to sell more albums than anyone in the audience (sans Taylor Swift) in less than a month then they did all year). But his bit with his daughter was the highlight, if only the cameraman was a little quicker with the reaction shot.

- Just a reminder, Song of the Year is a songwriting award. Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) won a songwriting award. Whoa-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh Oh- oh-oh-oh.

- Who invited Jennifer Lopez? Was it just to memorialize the ten year anniversary since she wore “The Dress”? (If so, where was the twentieth anniversary memorial to Milli Vanilli winning Best New Artist?) It’s been eight years since she put out a song anyone cared about or a movie anyone wanted to see.

- And even odder, she introduces Green Day and the cast of American Idiot which didn’t really work. Had there been distractingly bad lip-syncing, it could have been something out of Glee.

- And cheesiest idea award goes to Lincoln who wants you to vote on which artist will perform in their next commercial.

- You know you are in for a great performance when before a note is played and you go “Oh snap.” That was my first thought when I saw Beyoncé standing in front of her futuristic SWAT team. Granted my second thought was “If they start doing the Single Ladies dance, I’m throwing my remote at the television.” Luckily the SDTV was saved as we get a interesting medley of If I Were a Boy and You Oughta Know. Although I could have done without the crotch grab.

- Interestingly Best Comedy Album gets a primetime spot. I cannot remember that happening before. And finally daughter Colbert finds her dad cool.

- Kings of Leon wins Best Record. Wow, for the first I think ever, I agree with the winner of this category.

- Most actors show up with the Grammy to shamelessly shill their latest movie or their CBS show, but Robert Downey Jr. is just there to call himself, “The Most Self Important Actor of His Generation.”

- Sure Blame It is one of the worst songs in recent memory, but it is hard not to like that performance. They just kept pulling out random people like Doug E. Fresh and Slash who for whatever reason starts shredding the solo from November Rain. Love it.

- Maybe not a good sign for the Dave Matthews Band for Album of the Year when they couldn’t even win the genre specific award. Which begs the question, how does Lady Gaga and Black Eyed Peas get nominated for the big award over Green Day and U2?

- Why tease that Taylor Swift is going perform with one her idols only to show video of her singing with Stevie Nicks. Huruph. The Rhiannon performance was decent enough, but hearing Nicks singing the kiddie lyrics of You Belong with Me was almost as disturbing as Def Leppard singing Swift's tenth grade poetry.

- Please stop with the 3-D television events until you perfect the art because the Michael Jackson performance was less 3-D and more just a redder version of the performance. At least it was just a couple minutes unlike the hour long Chuck episode that gave me a headache. And Earth Song may be one of Jackson’s most underrated songs along with Will You Be There. And are Jackson’s kids really that old? The boy looked like he is already in Middle School and the girl is starting to look like Amanda Bynes.

- No Kanye West to accept the Rap-Sung Collaboration. Maybe he was banned (nor was invited to perform on the Drake track). Sure he is a douche, but award shows are a little less interesting without Kanye’s ego.

- For those who want to download the Haitian relief song by Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli, go to iTunes.com/target (why Target, I have no clue).

- Old dude alert! And we get our yearly lecture on why downloading is bad. Yawn.

- Adam Sandler introducing the Dave Matthews Band: it like that did that just for me. Beyoncé made a valiant effort, but Dave and the boys, had the best performance of the night.

- Quentin Tarantino may be able to make some entertaining movies but his painfully uncool and his introduction was really cringeworthy.

- Note to Grammy producers, stop inviting artists to perform songs with copious amount of profanity. No one is enjoying these performances where the censors fall asleep on their mute button for most of the song. And did Lil Wayne pull out his Lil Wayne because my screen went yellow for about thirty seconds during the performance.

- One has to wonder if Taylor Swift wins this award for Album of the Year if Kanye West doesn’t turn her into America’s Sweetheart. I thought it was going to come down to Beyoncé edging out Dave Matthews Band with Swift just as a darkhouse (and Lady Gaga and the Black Eyed Peas with zero chance).

- Here is my favorite performance of the night:

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CXV

Chuck: You know you have a great episode of Chuck when even Morgan isn’t even that annoying. Of course pairing him with Casey can have that effect. Then you have the appearance of Lana Lang which put a grin on my face as big as Chuck’s. There are very few people that can out-hot Sarah and Lana is one of them. Hopefully, unlike most of her run on Smallville, the writers give her something interesting to do (except for being a double agent). Speaking of the Man of Steele, of course Superman needs thick reading glasses. And if Lana Lang wasn’t enough, we also get Stone Cold Steve Austin as the bad guy of the week and may very well be the best token bad guy the show has had. My only complaint with this episode was we didn’t get to see the volleyball incident with Casey at the company picnic that Morgan mentioned. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Greek: How were the girls really okay with Casey telling Cappie about burning down the house? She was the one that made the oath not to tell anyone. And with everyone’s obsession with cop show, how could no one realize that throwing the shovel right near where they buried the clipboard not the best idea? And why not just burn the clip board? Tell people you have started composting to help save the environment. On the bright side, Dale having interns was highly entertaining. Hopefully they stick around even though he didn’t get the grant. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Castle: Maybe the most fun episode of the series, really embracing the will they or won’t they vibe of the two leads with them linked together in the paper then being preoccupied with each other and the case during dinner, but a little disappointing that there was no mention of Beckett’s mother breakthrough from last week. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes. Also be sure to check out my chat with Stana Katic.

Leverage: No comment on this week’s episode because I was too tired to stay up Wednesday night so instead of taping it I would just stream it. The problem with that is the latest episode is still not available for streaming on TNT.tv. To make things worse, I check the On Demand feature on my cable box and the only episode there was the winter premiere from two and a half weeks ago. Is it really that hard to get episodes up the next day? I at least want to see it sometime before the next episode airs.