Best of the Week vol. L

Quote of the Week: Are you trying to get candy or Japanese businessmen? (Claire, Modern Family)

Song of the Week: Waterloo – ABBA (Community)

Big News of the Week: Vote Early, Vote Often, Vote the Rent Is Too Damn High Party: Usually the mid-term elections are a boring affair, but with most of the country still in the tank, the wackos have come out big time this year which has brought us witches, Aqua Buddha, and words too offensive for women to print here thanks to Californians. The democrats are in such disarray, a one of their candidates told Barack Obama to “shove it” while another was asked by Bill Clinton to drop out to give an Independents candidate to win. And let’s not even start with the Tea Party. Our democracy may be going down faster than the Titanic, but at least we have plenty to laugh at as we go down in flames.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: Walk With Me – Neil Young (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: Pinkerton [Deluxe Edition]

New DVD Release of the Week: The Pacific (HBO Miniseries) [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: Since this year Halloween falls on a weekend, here are the Geto Boys.



Next Week Pick of the Week: The Walking Dead, Sunday (10/31) at 10:00 on AMC: After a lackluster fall in terms of new programming, the saved what looks to be the best for last in The Walking Dead. Forget all those lame vampire shows/movies/books, the Teens (as in 2010-19) will be the decade of the zombies. Mark my words.

Around the Tubes vol. LXXII

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Ghost Hunters, The Truth Behind Zombies, Scare Tactics, Conan, DVD2Blu, Dexter, Wines that Rock, Aziz Ansari, Punkin Chunkin, Huey Lewis, and Chuck.

- Ghost Hunters go live on Syfy Halloween from 7 PM to 1 AM. The gang is going to hit up Buffalo Central Terminal in Buffalo, New York, check out a promo below:

Ghost Hunters Halloween Live


- For some pre-Halloween fun, the National Geographic Channel is looking for The Truth Behind Zombies Saturday at 10:00. The special explores the origin of zombies, their religious roots and whether mutated virus strains could cause devastation of zombie proportions.

- If you don’t get enough spook this Halloween, then be sure to tune into Scare Tactics Monday for a brand new episode at 9:00 on Syfy. Here is a preview:

Life’s a Witch


- For those counting down the day until Conan O’Brien returns to the small screen, you can grab a sneak peak at a run through which Conan is dubbing “episode zero.” You can watch this coming Monday at 11:00 EST (8:00 PST) live at on TeamCoco.com, YouTube.com, and Facebook.com. Of course Conan hits TBS the following Monday for the proper premiere.

- I have mentioned DVD2Blu before, the program where you can trade in a DVD for the Blu-Ray counterpoint, well now you can trade in ANY DVD for any of the over 100 Blu-Ray’s in the library starting at $4.95 (television shows start at $14.95) plus shipping and handling.



- Showtime has recently launched the second season of Dexter Early Cuts, head over to sho.com/earlycuts to check out the six new chapters.

- Are you a fan of classic rock and wine? Well I have a contest for you. Wines that Rock is releasing their latest wine, The Police’s Synchronicity Red Blend and to celebrate the release you can win a prize pack that includes two round trip tickets to California Wine Country, two nights stay at the vineyard's private bungalow, a tour of the vineyard with Wines That Rock Winemaker, Mark Beaman, a case of rock and roll classic t-shirts and one autographed bass from Sting. Head over to WineEnthusiast.com/WinesThatRock to enter.

- Check out Kelefa Sanneh’s in depth profile of Aziz Ansari in the latest New Yorker or a snippet on their website.

- For those of you in the Bridgeville, Delaware area, the city will be hosting Punkin Chunkin 2010 November 5-7. If you cannot make it, the Discovery Channel will be airing the event Thanksgiving Day.

- And just because, Huey Lewis and the News Roots performing The Hearty of Rock and Roll:

All Those Other Girls, Well They’re Beautiful, But Would They Write a Song for You?

Taylor Swift recently promoted her latest album Taylor Swift (as in or forever hold your peace) on new channel The Hub. Despite there being much more prominent youth leaning channels around, The Hub is appropriate in that it is co-own by gaming king Hasbro because Speak Now includes the biggest game sweeping the nation: What boys are her songs about? Despite promising in her Target advertisement that she would be naming names, only one name appears on the album: John which most everybody has assumed is John Mayer (but I am holding out hope that it is in fact about Judd Hirsch, star of eighties sitcom Dear John).

So all the other songs on Speak Now, we are left to our own devises to figure out who the other songs about. Innocent is a gimmie considering Swift introed the song at the most recent Video Music Awards with last year’s debacle concerning Kanye West. And the lyric about a thirty-two year old (coincidentally the same age as John Mayer) who is still growing up pretty much confirms as much. Also highly likely is Taylor Launder is the subject of Back to December which mentions the first time the subject of song saw her cry was in September, the month of the Kanye incident in which Lautner was on stage for as the presenter. And is the “chain hanging on your door” a leash reference?

The other songs you will have to make your own conjectures, the most interesting of which is Better in Revenge where Swift turns her visceral hate toward the other woman. The girl in question is “not a saint and she’s not what you think, she’s an actress. She’s better known for the things that she does on the mattress.” Oh snap. So who has dated a Taylor ex, is an actress, wears vintage dresses, and has an easily rhymable name. Could it be Joe Jonas rebound girl Camille Belle? Of course John Mayer’s expanding harem is too long to hypothesize.

Wondering which song is about who is the biggest problem with Speak Now. Her previous albums were fun because we didn’t have to decipher whose pictures she was burn or who should have said no because they were just random dudes from Pennsylvania. During her cup of coffee with John Mayer, he should have warned her that no one wants to her a concept album about dating and breaking up with Jennifer Aniston, which is also why Counting Crows became not as entertaining a decade earlier. No one wants to hear people sing about famous people

Speak Now is the first album Swift wrote on her own and it shows, but not in a good way. It is clear she still need help with some phrasing and melody. Or just someone to say the title track was not a good idea to write about breaking up a wedding as many lines in the song are just cringeworthy. Never Grow Up is highly skipable or just might as well had been called Fourteen.

With that said, Speak Now is still a solid pop album (her transition away from country is complete here, and the label has only stuck for marketing reasons). The first single Mine is a fun and natural progression of someone who once sung fairytales like Love Story and is ready to grow up. The banjo infused Mean, the closest she gets to country, is a more entertaining attack song than Better Than Revenge where she unloads on the talking heads who rip on her inability to sing live. And Taylor truly grows for Haunted which sonically more stunning than anything she has done before and dabbles in hard rock and may be the greatest song Avril Lavigne has never recorded.

But Taylor, before your next album, you may want to try and find Drew for some inspiration because no one is going to want to hear songs about Jake Gyllenhaal.

Song to Download – Haunted

Speak Now gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television vol. XCIV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Runaway - Kanye West and Pusha T



It should have been Taylor Swift’s week with the release of her highly anticipated junior album, but Kanye West just had to steal her thunder once again by releasing his thirty-five minute film just days before. Runaway is kind of boring and would have worked much better as individual music videos with a common theme. Like the song Runaway is much more digestible as a nine minute video (well the five minute version is more digestible as it cut off the fuzzed out ending).


Dear John - Jessie James



Speaking of Swift, on her new album she has a song titled Dear John that may or may not be about John Mayer (okay, it probably is). The only problem that Jessie James also recently released a song titled Dear John that may or may not be about John Mayer (okay, it totally is considering seventy-five of the lyrics are composed of titles of Mayer songs). Which begs the question, do we really need two songs written about Jon Mayer released in the span of a month?


1983 - Neon Trees



You really cannot go wrong starting a video with a Big reference (even if the movie came out in 1988 and the lead character wanted to be, well, big). Then throw in a lead singer with a Thriller jacket and imitating Billy Idol (at least I think that is what he was going for). Thank you Neon Trees. But what was with the random Corey Feldman sighting?


L.A. Girl - Yeti Beats featuring Fatlip



Even more eighties references, this time from Fatlip (you may better know his group The Pharcyde) reuniting him with Spike Jones who directed the groups seminal Drop video.

Don't Call it a Comeback vol. I: Boyz II Men

It seems like one a week I am listening to my iTunes library and I hear a song that makes me go, this artist really needs a comeback. So I thought I would start a new feature here on the 9th Green highlighting an artist that really needs to reenter the public consciousness. The only criterion is that the artist hasn’t had a legitimate hit in over a decade. Without further ado, here is the inaugural Don’t Call it a comeback artist:

Boyz II Men

Biggest Hit: I’ll Make Love to You



Last Hit: A Song for Mama (1997)

Where Are They Now: Michael McCary, the bass singer in the group, left Boyz II Men in 2003 due to Scoliosis (the cane he sported in videos were not for show) and since then, the remaining members have released three cover albums, none of which cracked the top twenty-five, the most recent, Love, peaked at 114 on the Billboard 200.

Why the World Needs a Boyz II Men Comeback: Because RnB is dead and babies need to be made.

The nineties were a boon time for RnB and there was no bigger group than Boyz II Men that sold over twenty million albums during that decade (of which three were bought by me) and broke records held by The Beatles and Elvis. By the end of the decade, record companies realized that they could sell more records to teen girls by grouping together five cute boys even if they could not carried a tune like Boyz II Men and by the 00’s RnB had been auto-tuned to death by the like of T-Pain leaving no room for artists who do not need electronic help.

Now we are in a new decade and hopefully are primed for a Boyz II Men revival which could come as soon as next year which marks the twentieth anniversary of the group. After spending a decade singing other people songs, it is time for the group to pump out some originals, preferable with the help of Babyface (who is also due for a comeback) who wrote the group’s biggest hit including End of the Road, I’ll Make Love to You, Water Runs Dry, and A Song for Mama. And for all the high school students out there that want to dismiss the group as from another generation, keep in mind many of you may not exist if Boyz II Men didn’t aid in your conception.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CLIII

Chuck: Here’s hoping that Morgan breaks Casey’s daughter’s hearty so Casey kills him off once and for all. With that said, this may have been the most enjoyable episode in over a year. The best part was when Casey accidentally called Jeffster while being drugged and them not be at all surprised by his predicament. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: I am with the guy, you just do not talk about that kind of stuff. The thing is, guys do not talk about about girls we have been with, we just talk in detail about girls we want to be with. And the locker room discussion was spot on. Guys do not want to talk to naked dudes. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Event: When the absurdly hot brunette came face to face with the baby she was tasked with eliminating, I when into my usual Lost mode of thinking, well it is obvious that was her “son” from the previous episode but even though it was obvious, we will not learn the reveal for another season or two. But surprisingly, unlike Lost they actuaqly let us in on this obvious act that anyone with half a brain would assume that same episode. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Event on iTunes.

Spike Scream Awards: Why do teen girls have to ruin everything made for guys? First this week at the Scream Awards on Spike (which I thought was supposed to be the first network for men), Twilight picked up three awards. Then Glee landed on the cover of GQ (which I thought was supposed to stand for Gentlemen’s Quarterly). Seriously teen girls, can we men have something for our own? What are you going to ruin next? Is Justin Beiber going to top next year’s Maxim Hot 100?

Parenthood: Great Arrested Development shout out buy having Amber (her?) in a banana suit. Too bad they didn’t go all meta for the other characters, I guess the baseball outfit Adam wore could have been a Sports Night reference, but that might be a stretch. And I am glad theyfinally revealed Christina’s costume because I would have never guessed a Q-Tip. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: During Gemma’s great escape I spent the whole time waiting for her to punch Tara “for authenticity’s sake” and at least her boss thought of it instead. Next episode should be quite a showdown between SAMCRO and the Irish, assuming the next episode takes solely on the plane trip over there. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Nicaragua: It may not even crack the top five dumbest moves from last season, but the first tribal council was just filled with stupid decision. After Brenda threw him under the bus at tribal, how does Marty not play his Immunity Idol? And since Marty didn’t play his Idol, how does his tribe not vote him out on the revote? Now they do not have the numbers to flush out the Idol, not that they are likely to even have that chance because of the other tribe voting out strong players over Dan who can barely even walk let alone compete in anything. So Marty may very well may have a free ride to the merge with his Idol in tack. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Modern Family: I realized why I am not enjoying this season as much as the last one (aside from the families not intermingling very much), where is Dylan? How did they not add him to the cast after being the breakout guest star of last season? You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Terriers: Here’s hoping the trio of nerd maker regular appearences and can be Hank’s version of the Lone Gunman, They had me laughing on thje floor when they were on screen. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Terriers on iTunes.

The Challenge: Cutthroat: That was kind of a pitiful get well T.J. crew they got. Where were all the All-Stars? It was like the B-Team of challenges. And what a shame it came during an episode where someone quit. T.J. hates quitters. You can stream recent episodes on MTV.com. You can also download The Challenge: Cutthroat on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I guess we are in the start of episodes where there will be no Penny due to her horse episode. Maybe they should have shut down production until she was better. It juts didn’t feel right without her there as she grounds the show from all the nerdy excess of the guys.

Community: Enough with the meta jokes. When you are making Meta jokes about being Meta, it is time to stop. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Outsourced: It has become pretty clear the Diedrich Bader is the MVP of the show. The two episodes that he has been featured heavily have been the best two of the early series, the others mediocre at best. Hopefully they can work him in more often, especially with the B-Team. And what is the Aussie chick’s role exactly, she really hasn’t fit in anywhere as of yet. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Outsourced on iTunes.