The Best Television Shows of 2012-13

I have been making top ten lists of the best television shows of the year since 2006 and this is the first time ever that all ten spots went to dramas. Comedies really need to step their game up. Of the shows that used to be on this list, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother are just getting long in the tooth, Suburagtory suffered a sophomore slump, and the Dan Harmon-less Community was a disaster while newbies The Neighbors and Go On were solid, they just were not good enough. Here were the shows that were.

1. Justified Season 4 (FX)

2. Homeland Season 2 (Showtime)

3. Hannibal Season 1 (NBC)

4. Parenthood Season 4 (NBC)

5. The Americans Season 1 (FX)

6. Nashville Season 1 (ABC)

7. Mad Men Season 6 (AMC)

8. Bunheads (ABC Family)

9. Dallas Season 1 (TNT)

10. Sons of Anarchy Season 5 (FX)



After playing the bridesmaid for three straight seasons, Justified finally topped this list for the first time ever while FX took up two spots for the first time since I declared it the best network on television back in 2010 (which was also the last time Sons of Anarchy made the list). It also lifted FX over CBS for the third most shows on my best television shows list over the past eight years (12), just short of NBC (18) and ABC (15). CBS (11) is the only other network over five shows over that time. Now here are the shows that amassed the most Quote, Song, and Scene of the Week.

Quote of the Week
Pretty Little Liars – 5
Dallas – 4
Justified – 4
Mad Men – 4
Hannibal – 3
The Big Bang Theory - 2
Homeland – 2
Leverage – 2
The Neighbors – 2
Revenge – 2
2 Broke Girls – 1
Bunheads – 1
The Challenge – 1
Franklin and Bash – 1
Go On – 1
Grimm – 1
Happy Endings – 1
House of Lies – 1
Modern Family – 1
Nashville – 1
Parenthood – 1
Shameless – 1
Suburgatory – 1
Survivor – 1
The Walking Dead – 1
Weeds – 1

Song of the Week
Bunheads – 5
Suburgatory - 4
Go On – 3
The Neighbors – 3
The Americans – 2
Castle – 2
Community – 2
Covert Affairs – 2
Dallas – 2
House of Lies – 2
How I Met Your Mother – 2
Justified – 2
Mad Men – 2
Parenthood – 2
Pretty little Liars – 2
2 Broke Girls – 1
The Big Bang Theory - 1
Franklin and Bash – 1
Last Resort – 1
Nashville – 1
Once Upon a Time – 1
Shameless – 1
Sons of Anarchy – 1
Totally Biased – 1
The Walking Dead – 1
Weeds – 1

Scene of the Week
Bunheads – 8
Suburgatory – 7
The Neighbors – 6
Go On – 3
Hannibal – 3
Community – 2
Modern Family - 2
Parenthood – 2
Pretty Little Liars – 2
Don’t Trust the B---- in Apt. 23 – 1
Castle - 1
The Big Bang Theory – 1
Last Resort – 1
Nashville – 1
The Voice – 1

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/3/13

Shameless: When Papa Milcovich called in “The Russian” I thought, uh oh, those boys are in some real trouble. Nope, the Russian was just a prostitute brought in to sex the gay out of them. And that did not even rank in the top two most offensive parts of the show this week. Number one would be having sex with your mother-in-law while your wife gets you aroused because a turkey baster did not work. And then there was Frank holding his clean urine in his mouth for who knows how long.

House of Lies: I used to think the pre-teen stripper routine would be the most offensive dance sequence from Little Miss Sunshine would be the most offensive dance I would ever see involving kids, but now Roscoe and his posse takes the top spot. Congratulation… I think?

How I Met Your Mother: I really hope that some savvy producer saw this and realizes it is about time for a Weekend at Bernie's reboot (something I have pushed for the last couple years). Maybe even Judd Apatow who would go ahead and have Jason Segal play the Andrew McCarthy role (though it would be better to have someone like Seth Rogan take on Jonathan Silverman part instead of Ted Mosby). Then just bring in Jim Carrey as Bernie. It is a surprise no studio has yet hired me to run their reboot department.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: Only the Ewing’s would know the best way to overcome armed thugs would to fake(?) a fight with each other.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Bunheads: It was a little weird that after an entire episode about a group of girls thinking about losing their virginity, they choreograph a big dance sequence around Makin' Whoopie. And for those not sure what the difference between boys and girls, the girls plan for weeks, if not month or years, like in the episode, guys just want it to happen anywhere with anyone, preferably as soon as possible.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.

Castle: Not as cool as Liam Neeson’s “skills” speech, but I liked the French dude’s speech to the microphone on the wall. Too bad he turned out to be a chicken and had to die. And we finally got to meet papa castle (shame on the promo monkeys for spoiling that reveal last week), it was teased a couple seasons ago that he worked deep cover. And really, if Stana Katic ever got bored with the show, I would not a mind a Castle and Castle spy spin-off. Or throw in Alexis and make it Castle Cubed.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Deception: I really hope that it does not turn out that Julian’s booty called turned out to be Vivian’s murderer. That would be as dumb as Rosie Larson’s aunt accidentally killing her.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Plaster all those annoying phrases with the pound sign on the screen as much as you want, I do not believe that was Toby out in the woods until I see a face. I am more inclined to believe that was Detective Waldon under the cap. But my favorite part of the show was when Hanna pushed the cop car into the lake. I was really hoping that it would sink about a foot before she realized that lake was not deep enough to cover an entire car.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Lying Game: I am not surprised Ted would place flowers on the grave of someone who is blackmailing him, but I just do not see him as a murderer / kidnapper. I have a feeling it will turn out the Ted feals responsible for the death, he just did not do it himself.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Justified: Wow, they actually killed Arlo off. And what a way to go… out fighting but hanging on long enough to tell his son to kiss him somewhere unsanitary one last time. Awesome. So if you had Arlo in your Who Is Drew Thompson Office Pool, you may want to stop planning your cruise you were going to purchase with winning (which is probably for the best). Granted Arlo was always the least likely to be Drew. So that leaves (or the people we have seen this season) the three white collar criminals that Boyd is shaking down and Sherriff Shelby. But I do not know why they are spending so much time having the ex wife looking at pictures because wouldn’t Drew have had copious amounts of plastic surgery by now? Wait a second, could Wynn Duffy be Drew Thompason?
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: I wonder if there was some heavy editing during the Immunity Challenge because why did they let Fratboy #2 to continue to try to throw the hook and keep missing when Fratboy #1 got it on his first try, and Shamar was also able to get it fairly quickly. But his inability was never brought up (which makes me think that it was heavy editing). Speaking of creative editing, I think it may have been some foreshadowing editing that Andrea talks about not telling the wrong person her plan to oust Corrine followed by her telling Brandon the plan. Did she not see his season? He blabbed his alliance’s secrets, what made her think he could keep a secret by someone he hates: i.e. absurdly attractive chicks.

Poor Shamar, he dumped on throughout Tribal Council, and probably rightfully so, but he was right in his memory of his conversation with Hope and all she had to do was just vote for Fratboy #2 and she would have stay. Granted it would had been awesome if there was a three way tie, and after a revote, a two-way tie which would had led to another revote.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: The neo-folk revival of Mumford and Sons have gotten so big that even Alex Dumphey is in a knockoff band. Actually I would not mind hearing more of the Eclectic Light Dorchestra.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Nashville: I feel as if I just complained about this, but what chick really gives guys, “I am sorry someone close to you just died” sex? C’mon, this just does not happen. It was almost as weird as Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys showing up for Deacon’s birthday party to hit on Rayna fresh off her divorse.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Community: It may be a long slog to the inevitable death of this zombie show, but at least we got to see Annie in an Octoberfest costume before it was thankfully put out of its misery.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: As a stats nerd, I have to call shenanigans. The probability is astronomical that every time someone had a clear advantage (like Moo in both challenges this week as a NASA employee) throughout the show has lost. Every single time. Either the show is playing up the strengths of each contestant or there is some manipulations going on behind the scenes. As for a prediction for who will win next week, I am going with Genevieve.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/24/13

Once Upon a Time: Wow, eyeless girl was creepier than anything on The Walking Dead this week. Although will Mr. Gold be willing to get rid of his grandson just because he will be his downfall? Stupid question, this is a guy who let his son slip through a portal alone just to keep his powers.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: It was pretty obvious that the person at the bottom of the boat would turn out to be the evil dock guy, but I never would have guessed that he would take Amanda down with him. After she had Jack’s baby, I assumed she would be here for the long haul of the show. Hopefully this inspires Emily to get back to taking people down again and stop with all this slow and boring cooperate espionage that has gone on this season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: I thought crazy Rick stopped after he realized he was getting phone calls from beyond the grave. Ugg. And all the zombies that came out of that delivery truck might as well all had wigs on because that was essentially a clown car.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: Of course child services shows up at the most chaotic time ever on the show. It will be hard for to get the Gallagher’s to get out of this one, but I have a feeling the inept worker will help them out inadvertently or not. And can you really get pregnant with a turkey baster? I always that that was an urban legend.

House of Lies: Uh, oh, Veronica Mars went on a blind date with the Hearst rapist this week. Hopefully she will be back next week with all her hair.

How I Met Your Mother: I am too lazy to even bother to think about it, but I am pretty sure the show has done the three stories from three perspectives before, probably multiple times, and it it gets less interesting every time. With that said, I kind of want to watch this episode again just to see of Barney’s Austrian king actually shows up in the background somewhere.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I had the new girl pegged to be a mole, she was acting a little too weird, but I would not have guessed that she would turn out to be the opponent’s daughter. But will Toby be able to use that to his father’s advantage?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Bunheads: I did not think the show could top the weirdness Istanbul dance from last summer, but I think they may have done so with the dancing miners.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.
2 Broke Girls:

Castle: I was going to take this time to make numerous Taken jokes, but the promo monkeys already beat me to it with the previews showing an upcoming Liam Neeson joke. Hurmph.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Do people in the suburbs really have shower / spas like that in their homes? I defiantly need one.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Go On: I am really ready for Simone to go back to wherever she came from.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Go On on iTunes.

Justified: The video that Jody made for Raylan (with the aid of Paul Kinsey!) was so entertaining I will completely ignore that he really never had the time to make said video (or how implausible that basically every episode this season so far took part in less than a week). Also the show could use more Jackie Nevada. I take her over Ava, Wynona, or the barmaid from earlier this season. If you cannot get enough of Nevada, I highly recommend Raylan the book (see my review here), this episode is basically the end of the book, except there was no doubt if Raylan got any. Then again, in my experience, whenever a girl leaves the bathroom door open when she takes a shower, it is a sign she wants you to join her. Okay, that has never actually happened to me.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: I really like the trend of people outing other people at tribal council who have a Hidden Immunity Idol. I do not like the trend of people claiming that they are going to use said Idol but keep it in their pocket. I also do not like how the “Player of the Week” commercial is almost always spoilery. When both Laura and Douchebag #1 (not to be confused with Douchebag #2 whose name I also have no desire to learn) were up for the award, you knew they were going to do something but they did nothing interesting before then. I am usually good at skipping the ad, but the show really needs to move it to the last commercial break to avoid such spoilers.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites on iTunes.

Modern Family: Holy Bud Bundy sighting! T is a shame that it took Al this long to get his son some work.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

The Americans: It is weird watching this episode with all the paranoia that the Russians were behind the shooting of Ronald Regan when we now know that some crazy dude did it just to impress Jody Foster (I hear she’s currently single). I guess the closes thing similar that I can think of was when the power went out here and most of the northeastern part of the United States right after 9/11 and everyone thought it was another terrorist attack, but just turned out that our power grid just sucks. And a decade later, they still have not fixed it.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: I am now convinced the new showrunners are just fracking with us between the Stockholm Syndrome attempt and Luke Perry and Jennie Garth ruining Inspector Spacetime. This is going to be a long final season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: It is weird that for a show entitled King of the Nerds, that there is only one guy that remains even though the game started out with more guys than girls. I guess it may not be all that surprising that a bunch of male nerds would get flustered with chicks around, losing ever head to head gender battle in the Nerd Off. Now will the chicks band together to make sure Ivan (like when Parvati won Survivor) or with the self implode and let the guy win (like that season with Eliza)? Actually come to think of it, has there ever been an all male final on Survivor? (Researching… It has happened three times out of twenty-five seasons; five were all female)

Best of the Week - 2/23/13

Quote of the Week: Hello I’m Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Welcome to Sheldon Cooper presents Fun with Flags. My apologies that this episode is coming late, I did shoot one last week in honor of Black History Month but I was informed by my roommate that my spot on portrayal of George Washington Carver could be considered “wildly racist.” My heart goes out to the members of the African American community who, like me, have been kept down by The Man. (Dr. Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory)

Song of the Week: It's Tricky – Run-DMC (Suburgatory)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Sequester Madness: Both sides of the aisle spend the week blaming the other side over the upcoming sequester cuts set to kick in next week unless yet another deal is struck despite both sides signing off on the deal. The bickering will probably go on right up to the deadline when they make yet other deal they will put another sequester for sometime this summer when we get to go through it all again then. And they wonder why they have a worse approval rating than Oscar Pistorius.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Justified "Outlaw" Tuesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Livin for the City – Stevie Wonder (Google Play)

Deal of the Week: $0.50 Hit Songs: Pay only half a dollar for current songs by The Lumineers, The Black Keys, Fun., and Bruno Mars.

New Album Release of the Week: Amok - Atoms for Peace

New DVD Release of the Week: Man From Shaolin

Video of the Week: Virgil made an interesting observation on King of the Nerds this week in that whenever the Nerd Wars are subjective his team loses, and when it is objective they have won. Seems a little fishy because much like when Kevin Smith hosed Genevieve, I thought Team Blextrophy should have won this week.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Bunheads, Monday at 9:00 on ABC Family: It may not be a good sign that the show is coming to an end two weeks before the other ABC Family series that premiered the same week, so you may want to enjoy Bunheads while you can, because this week may be the last episode ever.

Best of the Week - 1/19/13

Quote of the Week: But I don't even trust the way you just now said I could trust you. (Winn Duffy, Justified)

Song of the Week: (They Long to Be) Close to You – Carpenters (as sung by the Bee Girl, House of Lies)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Lance Armstrong Is a Lying Liar: Also how bizarre is the Notre Dame Football player / fake girlfriend story? Way too many inconsistencies to believe. Just a bad week for sports as a whole especially considering the AFC will be sending to the Super Bowl one of my three least favorite teams. Guess I will be rooting for the NFC like usual.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Bunheads "I'll Be Your Meyer Lansky" Monday at 9:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Introduction – Holly Williams (Noise Trade)

Deal of the Week: $2.99 Albums: Amazon is having an unadvertised sale with a lot of classic albums for only $2.99 including Thiller, Born in the U.S.A., At Folsom Prison, and Under the Table and Dreaming. So stock up while you can because thesale may end as soon as it started.


New Album Release of the Week: 12-12-12 The Concert for Sandy Relief (2 CDs)

New DVD Release of the Week: The Men Who Built America

Video of the Week: Almost two decades ago Harmony Korine wrote a warped script about kids in America called, well, Kids. He was not far removed from being a kid himself at a time. Now forty, he has written (and this time directed) another film about kids, but instead of casting relative unknowns, this time around he raided the Disney line up with Selena Gomez (Wizards of Waverly Place), Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical), and Ashley Benson (Pretty Little Liars, which airs on ABC Family which is also owned by Disney). Spring Breakers looks glossier than Kids, but looks like it will be just as warped. Oh yeah, it also stars a cornrowed James Franco.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Parenthood, Tuesday at 10:00 on NBC: If it seems like every season of Parenthood gets shorter and shorter, you are not paranoid, this season comes to a close this week after only fifteen episodes, three less than last year and seven less than season two. But as the cable model shows longer is not necessary better and the show remains the best drama on network television and hopefully returns next season to defend its title.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 1/13/13

Once Upon a Time: If Ruby speaks wolf, why not ask her to speak to the dog because it did seem that the dog knew that it was not really Regina in Dr. Hopper’s office. I guess that would have been too easy.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: Hey Angelo, how about setting aside some of your winnings for one of your kid’s college fund? The way he is spending it will all be gone by the end of the month. Maybe that is the best thing, spend it all before baby mama number two comes for half (or more) of it.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Bunheads: I forgot how awesome the mascing teenagers scene was. Hopefully that shows up on all the “previously on” segments. But I am a bit disappointed that ABC Family did not release the full vial video.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: So was the hand that came out of the ground last episode just a cheap scare for the Halloween episode or is there really a walking dead out there somewhere? We did get two suspects as to who Aria stabbed, although maybe they should not have waited weeks to try to figure out who that was. Again these are not the smartest junior detectives that have ever been on television. But I have decided after this episode the show needs much more slightly crazy Mona (hopefully they do not go the Homeland route and have her on too many crazy pills making the character much less entertaining).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Lying Game: So Rebecca has another kid who looks around the same age as the twins. I vaguely remember theorizing they were actually triplets sometime during the first season but I am too lazy to look this up. Although the show is still missing something. Maybe it is time to kill someone (and someone more important that Derek) to raise the stakes. I wonder if having one actress playing the twins hurts the show because of logistics it is hard to have them go at it very often.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Happy Endings: I have noticed that the show really likes to make bad jokes that the characters like to point out as being bad. I guess it makes writing easier when you can keep all you stinkers by pointing out they are bad.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Happy Endings on iTunes.

Justified: With Homeland giving a slightly disappointing second season, I have high hopes for Justified to take back the title of best show on television. And the season premiere set it up to be that way. But it is a slightly odd that it went back to a procedural type episode like from the first season and did not introduce a new Big Bad in the line of The Crowders, the Bennetts, Robert Quarles, or Ellstin Limehouse (unless the new preacher in town is less Godly than he leads on). Granted Also went from mild nuisance to full on evil. But he is locked up so how much trouble can he get in (hopefully he has a run in with Dicky and Dewey and maybe I can finally get my prison spin off I have been hoping for). And the premiere will probably turn out to be less procedural than it let on because it seems safe to assume the bag in the wall is related to the dead parachute guy and we will spend the season figuring out who it was, who the bag belongs to, and how is Arlo involved. I am sure it will be a fun ride.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Parenthood: This may be the episode where Max goes from annoying little kid to quirky mini-Sheldon Cooper. Unfortunately just as Max becomes entertaining, Victor quickly raised the annoying kid quota. Suck it up Victor, you won the lottery. You went from dirt poor with a deadbeat mother to upper middle class in a loving family. So you have to eat some Brussels sprouts everyone and a while. Sure it is a little creepy that your new mom is extremely hot but you could have been in much worse situations.  With all the trouble they are having, I knew Joel and Julia should have adopted Zoe and her baby instead.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Nashville: I know the show, along with every other on television, lives in a hyper reality, but can you image if, in the middle of the season, Tim Tebow announced his engagement to Taylor Swift in a ceremony that would happen later that week, a day before a game in Cleveland only to be left standing alone at the altar? Skip Bayless’s head would literally explode. Stephan A Smith would have to be admitted to a mental health facility. Pardon the Interruption would just be shocked silence for the entire half an hour for a full week. Basketball would just cancel their games because there would be no coverage of them.

I was surprised they finally brought back the paternity issue with Rayna which the alluded to in the premiere and I do not remember being mentioned since. Almost as surprising was that her husband already knew. Hopefully we do not have to wait another ten episodes for it to be brought out again.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I am morally opposed to GPS’s because they are for the stupid and the lazy, two things I pretend that I am not. But if I were to get a GPS, I would want a Sheldon Cooper voiced one. Either that or one with Snoop Dogg.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 8/25/12

Quote of the Week: You are not the first girl to fall for Downton Grabby. (Spencer, Pretty Little Liars)

Song of the Week: Rainbow Connection – Weezer and Hailey Williams (Bunheads)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Legitimate Rape: Remember the good old days when the political buzzwords were things like “Aqua Buddha”? Instead this cycle we are forced to debate things like “legitimate rape”. Didn’t we decide in the eighties that “no means no”?

Preview Picture of the Week:


Leverage: When I learned that the Leverage team would be going to Washington, it never crossed my mind that the reason they tried to “steal a congressman” would involve cheerleading. And after this episode I really hope they do a whole season in the capital next season. The storylines are endless.
You can download Leverage on iTunes.
Weeds:

Grimm: We may have learned more about the Captain in this episode than in the entire first season. So he is a bastard prince (charming?) who is barely human and very far from pure at heart who looks kind of like Jonah Hex in his pure form. Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: How dare Erza’s brother besmirch the good name of Hootie & The Blowfish? Blasphemy. And how dare Erza defile Alex Mack? Can we just kill off the entire Fitz(Gerald) Clan please?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Year of the Dragon – Busta Rhymes: Yes you can download the entire new album from Busta Rhymes for free. Sure it is essentially a mix tape which means you will delete all but one or two songs after one listen, but hey, what do you expect for free? Quality?

New Album Release of the Week: Welcome To: Our House - Slaughterhouse

New DVD Release of the Week: Homeland: The Complete First Season

Video of the Week: Someone actually made a movie about butter carving. Welcome back Alicia Silverstone.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Pretty Little Liars, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC Family: After a month of hyping, the BetrAyal is finally happening this week in the summer finale. The last couple episodes have focused on Paige who was found to be in possession of the missing casket earring and even the shady Jenna warned Emily about her. Of course all that means is that Paige is probably just a red herring. Other likely candidates are the growingly violent Maya’s cousin and Erza who could dump Aria and get back with his baby mama Alex Mack. But that would be more of a run of the mill betrayal, not much of a betrayal (unless Alex Mack joined the A Team to get back at Aria for dating her baby daddy). I m still hoping that Aria goes full WWF heal turn, smacks Spencer over the head with a folding chair, rips off her blouse to reveal a t-shirt underneath that reads “I’m the A-Team”. It is really a shame the how has not hired me as a writer yet.

You Always End a Conversation One Sentence too Late

Note to self: when writing an uber-peppy script, it may not be the best idea, no matter how shocking it is, to kill off what the audience may believe to be an important character at the end of the Pilot. After one of the most promising premieres in recent memory, Bunheads had to go the downer route by killing of the main character’s husband just minutes after getting married thus tearing down what they spent the first fifty-eight minutes building up.

Not surprisingly, Hubble’s death hung like a black cloud over the first season of the show. And every time it started to pick some momentum back up, out of nowhere they had to remind you that Michelle’s husband, who she did not even really love, had died tragically. She meets a new dude, who she hits it off with, she starts balling over her dead husband after coitus. And of course he had to return for the finale in a dream sequence to up the creepy factor.

It also does not help for a shown named Bunheads, I am not entirely sure what any of the names of the dancers are besides Boo (really, how do you forget a name like that). I think the mean girl is named Sasha, but I would not bet my life on it. I just watched the finale and I still could not name the other two off the top of my head which is a shame because the tall one has the best comic timing of the bunch but she was given the least to do in the first set of episodes. Am I am not sure if it is a good or bad thing that it turned out that Mindy Riggins turned out to be the best part of the show.

But the one aspect the show had going for itself was its rapid fire delivery that, even if a pop culture reference or two went over your head, there would still be plenty of good one your recognize per episode even if there was no way a bunch of teen girls would talk about let alone even know about. I like The Ringer was too busy dancing to catch any of these references. And the season did end on a high point with one of the funniest scenes I have seen on television all year when Michelle sprayed all the dancers in the face with mace. That alone should keep me laughing until the show returns, and when it does, hopefully they can help us forget about Michelle’s dead husband.

Bunheads 1.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 8/18/12

Quote of the Week: No One Takes Khaleesi's Dragons. (Michelle, Bunheads)

Song of the Week: One Day – Matisyahu (Covert Affairs)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Paul Ryan: A couple Fridays ago, AMC announced just hours before the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics that they were not renewing The Killing for a third season. It is common practice to release bad news late Friday in hopes that people will forget to be angry by the time the weekend concludes and to do it as the Olympics starts helps to bury it further. I bring this up not because I enjoy pissing on The Killing (even though I do) but I found it a bit odd that Mitt Romney chose Saturday morning on the last weekend of the Olympics to announce his running mate. What exactly was he hiding (besides what is in his tax returns), making the announcement at a time when most people are trying to bury news? Why not wait until Monday when you can own the new cycle instead of a time when people would rather talk about Usain Bolt or why didn’t Noel Gallagher jump out of the crowd during the Closing Ceremonies to punch Liam in the face when he was performing Wonderwall? Sometimes I wonder if Romney really wants to be president or if he has already resigned himself to losing.

Another sign that Romney may not want the presidency was his selection for Vice President. Paul Ryan is a super wonk who’s claim to fame is his budget that is supposed to save the country from financial ruin by slashing Medicare, lower taxes (mostly for the uber-rich) but will actually increase the debt according to a non-partisan economist. The guy is part of the most hated Congress in the history of polling and one of the bigger reasons why the country hates this Congress. This was clearly a pick to shore of the base of the party, but if you need to shore up your base by your vice president pick, you have pretty much already lost (see 2008). But on the bright side Ryan is a fan of Rage Against the Machine who will hopefully be invited to play the Republican National Convention later this month. Not surprisingly Tom Morello is not fond of his latest fan calling Ryan “the embodiment of the Machine our music Rages against”.

Preview Picture of the Week:



Leverage: Hardison biting that one dude (after actually warning him he was not above biting) has to be the funniest scene in the history of the show.
You can download Leverage on iTunes.

Falling Skies: I was all excited about the trip to Charleston this season, but I did not like all the politics when they got there (a dictatorship overthrown by the military; yeah). And even with running, heated water (which is not explained how they could keep the electricity going for an underground mall 24/7) Tom decides to keep the ratty beard. Alrighty. And wasn’t Weaver’s daughter going north to the mountains? How did she beat them to South Carolina?
You can download Falling Skies on iTunes.

Grimm: Where most people spend up-fronts hoping the shows they watch get renewed, I secretly hope they all get6 canceled. I really did not need a second season of Grimm, but here it is and a month before everything else. I always liked the idea of the show way more than the acting (the dude from Road Rules? The chick from Quaterlife?). They need to find some compelling leads and quick.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: With her absence this week, I have come to the realization that CiCi is my favorite character on the show. Granted it does not take much to be the best character on the show. All she has to compete with is whenever Hanna goes H*A*M on people., which is not nearly enough
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Go On / Animal Practice (iTunes): If you missed their preview during the Olympics, you can download the new comedies for free.

Deal of the Week: Blu-Rays Under $10: The Expendables, Total Recall, The Terminator)

New Album Release of the Week: Last of a Dyin' Breed - Lynyrd Skynyrd

New DVD Release of the Week: Revenge: The Complete First Season

Video of the Week: The season two trailer of Homeland was just released and not surpisingly it looks all shades of awesome. Despite being unceremoniously booted from the agency, Carrie is back, in some cases with new hair and eye color, but unfortunately it looks like she is back on her meds. And just when you thought things could not get any more moody, they had to go and add a children’s choir to make it more epic. Remember The Social Network with Creep? And yes the Scala & Kolacny Brothers version of Every Breath You Take is available to download. Hopefully that does not last long. Homeland returns Sunday September 31 at 10:00.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Falling Skies, Sunday (tomorrow) at 9:00 on TNT: The first season was a bit rough at times and tiresome at others, but it seemed to hit its strike this season as it finally had a direction (and that direction was towards Charleston). But now there are there, now what? Apparently political drama as the series closes out its sophomore season.

Speaking of rocky first seasons, Bunheads also draws to a close this week. Hopefully it finds its foot too in the next season (it was recently renewed along with Melissa and Joey and Baby Daddy).

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 8/11/12

Quote of the Week: Life is cheap in prison, Vicente and I'm a very rich man. (J.R. – Dallas)

Song of the Week: God's Gonna Cut You Down – Johnny Cash (Dallas)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Canada Blames: I played soccer all throughout my youth, was a referee in college and watch every American match in the World Cup, Olympics and other random friendlies, and I do not remember anyone call a goalie for holding the ball too long, seen a couple warnings (apparently the Canadian goalie was warned by the assistant referee previously), but never actually called. It is so prevalent that the networks usually aired replays while the goalies stroll around the box for a minute or two before getting rid of it. It is kind of like a travel in basketball where you have to take an extra step or five to get called (I had to laugh when Chris Paul actually got called for it not knowing NBA superstar rules do not apply in international basketball). For the record, the rule is six seconds and the goalie held it for over ten before the penalty was called. But it is silly for Canadians to complain because it is a rarely called foul because it would be telling a judge you should have not have to pay your jaywalking ticket because cops rarely write anyone up for it. And if that is not enough to keep you Cunucks from complaining, please watch the video of Melissa Tancredi stomping on Carli Lloyd’s head which went uncalled. It was poetic that the Americans ended up winning the gold medal on that very head of Lloyd.

Preview Picture of the Week:


Falling Skies: I have to wonder just how Pope knew of Maggie’s deep dark secret. Why exactly would she tell her former captor something like that if she did not want to share with someone else?
You can download Falling Skies on iTunes.

Weeds: It is a shame that Andy got himself a new show already on NBC this fall because I would have been up for an Andy and Doug, My Two Dads style spin off.

Pretty Little Liars: Did they really need to introduce yet another guy who looks just like every other guy? When Erza’s brother showed up on screen I was trying to figure out if that was the dude who ended up hosting the party or the one guy who was in the secret fight club. It turns out neither. Now usually when talking about Mr. Fitz(Gerald) I make a Better than Ezra reference, but instead suggest Aria take the advice of Steve Miller and take the money and run. That family is bad news.

But the big news was the introduction of The BetrAyal which will happen at the end of the season. Despite the stylization it is unclear if The BetrAyal will turn out to be “A”, just a member of “The A Team” or just a someone forced by “A” to betray the Liars, or just a random betrayal. ABC Family even set up a suspect tracker where Paige is currently in the lead with 34%. Conspicuously absent is my leading contender for the new A in Allison and my new favorite character CiCi. Since I am hoping that the BetrAyal is by one of the Liars, I am going to predict Aria will be doing the betraying. Her name does start with an A.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Tracks from the Attic – The Lumineers (Noise Trade)

Deal of the Week: Hip-Hop Classics for 2.99: Amazon went for some classic rap albums for their deeply discounted albums this week including A Tribe Called Quest, Wu-Tang Clan, Dr. Dre, and Nas.


New Album Release of the Week: Just Tell Me That You Want Me - Tribute To Fleetwood Mac

New DVD Release of the Week: Shaft [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: Wait, Coach Taylor helped kill Osama bin Laden? I guess that makes sense.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Boss, Friday at 9:00 on Starz: For the three of you that have Starz, the second season of Boss returns later this week. The first season was weirdly frantic and I could not turn away. For those that do not have Starz, t5he first season is available on Blu-ray and DVD, you can check out my review here: One Necessary Evil Leads to Another until One Day You Can’t Differentiate Between What’s Necessary and What’s Merely Expedient.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 7/28/12

Quote of the Week: Wait, why am I asking you? You wear forks for earrings. (Ella; Pretty Little Liars)

Song of the Week: Istanbul – They Might Be Giants (Bunheads)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: A Melancholy Trails to Sherman Hemsley: It is hard to think my childhood would have been as funny without Sherman Hensley who passed away earlier this week. The Jeffersons was one of my early television memories. As soon as that show ended, Sherman quickly to Amen. Really only Hemsley could star in a sitcom about a church and make it funny. After that he was resigned to cameos and a stint on The Surreal Life, but in his prime, there were fewer funnier people on television.

Preview Picture of the Week:



Falling Skies: Poor creepy teacher from The Killing, you keep on getting tortured in new and violent ways. I was surprised they killed Lourdes’s boyfriend so violently in from of her so early in their relationship. Hopefully she snaps out of it because her emo sulking got annoying real soon. But then again Hal did not take very long to move on for Karen so maybe there is hope. But I am still unclear why the unharnessed Karen turned on her race. That needed to be better explained.
You can download Falling Skies on iTunes.

Bunheads: It am trying to figure out if Mindy Riggins is the best part of the show or the worst. But what was up with the creepy non sequitur dance sequence at the end. It seemed like they got done with th editing before realizing all the fast dialogue left them with three extra minutes to fill so someone suggested they fill it up with random dancing to They Might Be Giants.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: The very first theory I ever had about the show was that Allison was alive. Then they went and found her body. But after three seasons I have steadfastly held onto the outside hope that maybe it was an Elvis situation where an evil twin was buried in the grave. Or would that be a good twin in the case of Allison? Seeing her outside Hannah’s window is the first time they alluded that I may actually be right which also helps my theory that Allison is the head of the “A” Team. Or maybe it was the new CeCe girl all along. But God bless Hannah. Last week her big plan to catch “A” in the act backfired miserably, so bad she became the lead suspect in Ally’s murder. Then the weakest link in the dumbest braintrust on television decided she was going to break into a mental institution. Awesome. How that came off without a hitch is befuddling though.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Dallas: In a very little shocking plot twist, Rebecca’s brother is not really her brother, putting the paternity of the twin in question. Sure the DNA test says Christopher, but this is a soap opera, so that could be easily changed.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Free Download of the Week: Bottom of the River - Delta Rae (deltarae.com; email required): I may just have a new favorite new band, give this band a try, it is as if The Civil Wars joined Mumford & Sons.

Deal of the Week: For Those About to Rock for only $2.99: Get some great rock albums for a low price including those from Metallica, Pantera, Social Distortyion and ZZ Top:



New Album Release of the Week: The Soul Sessions, Vol. 2 - Joss Stone

New DVD Release of the Week: LOL

Video of the Week: In a story I broke earlier this week, the Man of Steel trailer hit the internets and it is, um, rugged.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Olympics, All Week, NBC, CNBC, MSNBC, and NBC Sports: Seriously, this is all I am going to watch all week.