It has been a while since I have read Revelations but I am pretty certain one of the signs of the apocalypse happened this past week and how appropriate in these days and times it can be viewed on YouTube:
Yes that is Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in a political ad. When I first saw this I thought I was watching a Daily Show produced campaigned ad but no, it is from John McCain and he approved that message. Sadly this isn’t the first time with has crossed politics as Britney appeared in a Pepsi commercial with Bob Dole and four years ago Paris was seen sporting a “Vote or Die” t-shirt, but didn’t promptly die after not actually registering to vote. And if that wasn’t enough for McCain, he later released an ad with Moses, or at least Moses to gun nuts, Charlton Heston;
Now here is a smart ad. If I were running the McCain campaign I would be going around, “Yeah because the last time we elected a drug addict with no experience and a God complex, that ended well.” And Friday Obama suggested a $500 energy rebate, because the last time a president gave us a rebate, that really helped the economy.
McCain wasn’t the only one with a silly brush with pop culture as Obama had yet another rapper write a song for him:
Naturally Barack distanced himself from the song calling it, “Outrageously offensive” with his spokesmen adding, “As Barack Obama has said many, many times in the past, rap lyrics today too often perpetuate misogyny, materialism and degrading images that he doesn’t want his daughters or any children exposed to.” This then begs the question why is Ludacris on Obama’s iPod to begin with if he truly believes this because almost all of Luda’s songs have misogyny, materialism or degrading images and some have all three. This is the guy who wrote Move (Expletive Deleted), (Expletive Deleted) Poppin, and written such profound lyrics as, “How you ain’t gonna (expletive deleted), (expletive deleted) I’m me,” “Stop, drop, kaboom, baby rub on your (expletive deleted),” “If you hold the (expletive deleted) stead Imma milk the cow.” And let us not forget that this was the guy who proclaimed he’s “got (expletive deleted) in different area codes.”
All this from a guy Obama has called “extremely talented.” Although shouldn’t someone who is “extremely talented come up with a line better than, “McCain don’t belong in any chair unless he’s paralyzed.” Seriously, what does that even mean? Couldn’t he come up with a better insult than that? But, yeah, George Bush is mentally retarded.
All this ties into the theory that this election will disturbingly be decided by the so called “Low Information Voters” and you really don’t get much lower on the information ladder than from people who dress up an attend Comic Con. Of course the people behind the Obama Girl videos were there to take an informal poll.
Interestingly enough the comic book nerds seem to be leaning Republican who lends some credence that The Dark Knight is a euphemism for the Iraq War with Batman doing his best George Bush impression. And yes, this election will be decided by people like the chick who said McCain but changed only because her friend said Obama. It is really time to bring back the IQ test before letting people vote.
Amongst all that low info crap, I was surprised to see someone actually talk about education this week for the first time in this presidential campaign. Keep in mind it Obama wrapped up his nomination in early June. I guess at that rate we will only hear about education one more time before the election. But anyways. Head over to MSNBC.com to read McCain Criticizes Obama over Education Policies.
Quote of the Week: “Listen, I’m gonna break it down for you alright. If you switch over to my side I’ll give you my solemn word of honor I will have sex with you.” “I long to see the sunlight in your hair and tell you time and time again how much I care. Hello.” “Please, stop singing at me.” “Hello” (Rockefeller Butts trying to change the Token Hot Chick’s vote, Knights of Prosperity)
Song of the Week: One Week - Barenaked Ladies (Veronica Mars; see the scene below thanks to YouTube)
Big News of the Week: The Knights are on the move. Starting this week, ABC is switching the funniest new show of the season, Knights of Prosperity with According to Jim so be sure to turn in a half an hour earlier this Wednesday at 8:30 to see if the Knight get closer to robbing Mick Jagger. Unfortunately this conflicts with Friday Night Lights and Beauty and the Geek but all three are available for streaming on their respective websites so no excuses to miss any of them.
This week should be another instant classic when Eugene has to decide whether he will take one for the team when one of Jagger’s bodyguards comes on to him. I’m not sure if this will be a weekly occurrence but you can catch an extra episode this Tuesday at 9:30 featuring the one where the Token Hot Chick gets the guys some self defense training. And you can always check out the latest episodes of the show over at ABC.com.
Surreal Life Fame Games: I’m not sure what I find more disturbing: Brigitte Neilson hooking up with Chyna or Brigitte Neilson hooking up with Ron Jeremy.
How I Met Your Mother: I really didn’t like how they depicted Barney in the past couple week almost humanizing him, but it was nice to see the original Barney back this week.
Everybody Hates Chris: Chris hauling around an egg brought back some painful memories. Needless to say I failed. Luckily there aren’t any little Scooters running around… that I know of. Hopefully I don’t get a call from Montell or Maury anytime soon. Check out this episode at CWTV.com.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: After a week opening segment, the show gets back into fine form where it is hard to decide which storyline was the best this week, Jordan’s battle with the new VP of Illiterate Programming, Simon battling the new writer, Chandler battling to win the E-bay action, or Ed Asner battling the board. Granted I’m not entirely sure what he and Jack are up to with the Asian deal. Check out this episode over at NBC.com.
The (White) Rapper Show: I loved how the dude from Brand Nubian grilled Jon Brown on that silly Ghetto Revival crap. I guess when you are an entity you don’t need to fully think your catchphrases.
The State of the Union: I peeked in on it during the commercial breaks of Veronica Mars and I love how they show you the name when they do reaction in the crowd shot like it’s the Oscars. I’m just waiting for when one of the networks brings in Joan Rivers for a red carpet before one of these things because who doesn’t want to know where Nancy Pelosi got her pantsuit from.
Friday Night Lights: After the opening scene of this episode, I’m ready to call the Taylor’s the best nuclear family on television. Then I don’t know what was funnier, when coach used the same motivational speech the radio host used or that his offensive coordinator loves that show. One of the great parts about this show is how each character, big or small, is pitch point, but after two episodes, Tyra’s mom is the one misstep. Also two weeks without Landry is two weeks too long. Check out this episode over at NBC.com.
Smallville: Mmm, a superhero who after hit with something then all of the sudden wakes up in a mental institute where the last five years was all a dream. Yeah this was a complete rip off of a season six episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And totally inferior as Normal Again was one of my favorite hours of television ever.
Pick of the Week: Super Bowl XLI - Sunday, 6:25 CBS - Chicago Bears, Indianapolis Colts, Prince at halftime, Billy Joel does the anthem, and the best commercials of the year including one moron who dropped $2.5 million to propose to his girlfriend during the game. If you are like me and want to make a day of it, Road to the Super Bowl starts at noon.
Quote of the Week: You now the woman who could have been the next Faith Hill but somewhere along the way discovered Peach Daiquiris, her diaphragm went wrong and wound up smack down in the middle of trailer hell raising two kids. Yep she still manages to look hot and you can bounce a quarter off her butt; you got to take care of yourself, c’mon. Well that’s me, My Name Is Joy. (My Name Is Earl)
Song of the Week: Do Me! - Bell Biv DeVoe (Knights of Prosperity)
How I Met Your Mother: I have a bad experience with I Had the Time of My Life so this episode was painful to watch.
Beauty and the Geek: Anyone else find it suspicious that the four ethnic looking contestants on the show not only paired up but were the first two teams voted off?
Friday Night Light: Somewhat of an off episode this week, seriously where was Landry? Tyra is back though but it was hard to not laugh at her big scene. But I’m really surprised that it hasn’t turned knocked up from her one night stand with random dude and then claiming Riggins as the baby daddy. But the best scene of the week was when Julie told her parents that they were the best in the world then Coach started to bask in the kind words but mama knew her saying that meant something was wrong.
Presidential Address: When Charles Gibson comes on and goes point by point what George Bush is about to talk about, why do we have to sit through his broken English when we already know what he is going to say?
Let’s Rob Mick Jagger: While lesser people play stupid games like Gay, Straight or Taken, the Knights played a much better game of Intern: Gay or a Virgin. I also loved how they ended the show with the Knights where new shirts with Mick’s access code on them but the same bright orange color.
My Name Is EarlRandyJoy Crabman: The start was pretty slow but as soon as Randy started talking I was on the floor laughing. Of course Joy’s intro was the best. They did spread the joke too thin with My Name Is Doddie. You’d think professional comedy writers would know the rule of three. And a note to NBC, when you say, “Stay tuned for more Earl” have more Earl after the break not an ad for that lame Grease reality show and then go straight into The Office without any more Earl.
Smallville: Tori Spelling was the worst guest star since Paris Hilton on Veronica Mars.
Promo of the Week: Okay I said last week that it was just a onetime thing but here’s another one that caught my eye even though I don’t actually watch Gilmore Girls account that I’m a dude. But I love the line “I knew Tom Hanks when he was a Bosom Buddy,” and even though Regina Spector’s other song Fidelity is getting more attention, including closing out an episode of Veronica Mars, this song On the Radio is much better if just for the odd November Rain reference:
Next Week’s Pick: Smallville, 8:00 The CW: Over the last couple seasons Clark has run into a couple future Justice League members but this week sees them all together for the first time including one Beaver Casablancas as the Flash.
A quick programming note: The Knights of Prosperity, or as I like to call it Let’s Rob Mick Jagger will be on tonight following the Presidential Address at 9:25 so set your alarm clock, VCR, or if your cool enough, your Tivo. If you end up missing it, you can always check it out at ABC.com. And don’t forget to check out my contest on how to win a Knights of Prosperity T-Shirt.
But today I don’t want to talk about entertaining shows like Let’s Rob Mick Jagger or Ego Trip’s The (White) Rapper Show which I’ll be talking about tomorrow. Earlier this week I summed up In Case of Emergency as the least funny show since Four Kings. But there are some shows debuting this year that are so bad that there is no way you can get me to watch them. Topping that list is the Jennifer Lopez driven Dance Life. Just when I think the J-Lo era is finally over they give her and her uber-lame husband their own reality show. Thanks MTV, this better not lead to another crappy album from her.
Next up on the now way I’m ever watching list: Gay, Straight or Taken. What’s worse is this is on Lifetime. So this is what woman do for entertainment? Not only that, wasn’t this a Fox reality show called Playing it Straight at one point? Speaking of ripping off other show, there is I Love New York. What brain trust thought this was a good idea? Didn’t these people learned form The Bachelorette which killed off The Bachelor franchise? Not to mention Flavor Flav is a star, New York, not so much.
Which leads me to tonight’s premiere of another show you won’t ever catch me watching: Armed and Famous. Yeah, why not in the middle of the War on Terror deputize a bunch of publicity seekers who will only mock the profession of protecting us? I have a sinking suspicion that this was the very reality show Jordan McDeere passed on for NBS. But surpisingly it wasn’t picked up by Fox, nope this stinker will air on CBS. And the cast makes the Surreal Life Fame Gamers look like actual A-Listers: Erik Estrada looks like he is trying to beat his Surreal cast mate Trishelle for shaming themselves for the most reality show, LaToya Jackson is a sixth rate Jackson after Michael, Janet, Joe, Tito and Germaine, Jack Osbourne is also the least interesting in his family, Jason Acuna known to drunken frat boys everywhere as Wee Man, and Trish Stratus who left wrestling for this trash. Oh and I have pictures courtesy of CBS:
Want more, head over to Ficken Chingers where Angie has amateur pictures of Wee Man and Jack as she lives in Muncie, Indiana where the show was film. Somehow she didn't get any camera time herself even though I know she watched My Name Is Earl this past week and should have had plenty of suggestions on how to get on a reality cop show. But anyways. For those interested in the show, and I can’t imagine anyone outside of Muncie would, the show airs tonight at 8:00. Me, I'll be watching quality programming like Friday Night Lights and Beauty and the Geek at that hour. Oh and don’t forget Let's Rob Mick Jagger after Bush’s speech. Oh and for those that din't catch it, the title for this post is from a Weird Al song.
Some say there is no such thing as bad publicity, but sometimes that isn’t always true, like, say, when you offend the majority of your fan base and have your records pulled from the radio like the Dixie Chicks did at the start of the Iraq War. Of course that was back in a time where is you were against the president, you were anti-American, and now, a couple years later, even some Republicans have been piling George Bush leading him to the lowest poll numbers by a two term president not named Richard Nixon.
But even before their comments, the Chicks have been alienating country radio by drifting to more bluegrass and pop sounds on their last album Home. That tend continues on their latest outing, Taking the Long Way, as the group even brought in noted rock and rap producer Rick Rubin who had much success resurrecting the career of Johnny Cash with his American Recoding sessions. But unlike the American Recordings, there are no cover songs as the Chicks wrote all the songs on the album with help from artist as diverse as Keb’ Mo’ and Sheryl Crow.
At the beginning of the album, most of the songs seem to focus on the infamous comments mentioned earlier, most notably on the aptly titled Not Ready to Make Nice. So if you think the Chicks have soften on their position on this administration, the title pretty much says it all and they even touch on the backlash with lyrics like, “How in the world can the words that I said send somebody so over the edge that they’d write me a letter sayin’ that I better shut up and sing or my life will be over.” But that theme doesn’t linger long as songs quickly transition into more familiar territory like relationships. Then the album ends with the I Hope, a gospel song that was released last year to benefit those hit by Katrina.
As the Chicks move away from traditional country, they start moving into genre, the best result being I Like It, a song that sounds influenced by the girl group of the sixties. Then there is the album opener, The Long Way Around that sounds exactly like Learning to Fly by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers but with fiddles. Lullaby is as soft as the title suggest. Baby Hold On hits the emotional intensity of songs like You Were Mine from their first album. Really the only song here that would have fit on previous albums the brilliantly titled Lubbock or Leave It which has that same pure rage as Sin Wagon. Unfortunately some songs on the album suffer from being uneven where the verses are great but the chorus doesn’t hold the intensity or vice versa. This is most apparent on Silent House where the chorus just rubs me the right way.
For the past five years singers and other entertainment folk have bombarded this presidency and his administration with metaphors and veiled references about how poorly they have ran this country. The problem with that is George Bush isn’t too good at recognizing metaphors and other alliterations. But finally we have an artist who has laid things in such a simplistic way even Bush can understand with the release of Neil Young’s Living with War that includes such lyrics like, “Let’s impeach the president for lying” and, “Let’s impeach the president for spying.” Yep, no metaphors there. And I dare you not to sing along after hearing the song once.
Even though the album is released just months after Prairie Wind, basically Harvest redux, Living with War has very little in common with that album. Instead it quickly conjures up images of one of Young’s biggest hit, Rockin’ in the Free World that took aim at the elder Bush’s social programs most memorably with the line “We got a thousand points lights fore the homeless man.” Young bring the intensity from that song to this whole set with guitar distortion that reminds us why he is considered the Godfather of grunge. Although the album is capped off with a great choral retention of America the Beautiful that even the few Bush-backers that are left can love.
But is still the lyrics that makes the album. On The Restless Consumer he give a laundry list of things we don’t need, most notably no more lies then asks, “How can you pay for war and leave us dieing?” Sadly we will never get an answer. And in the interest of fairness, Young even lets Bush speak for himself on Let’s Impeach the President when he inserts lines from his various speeches. Granted Young does this to point out the numerous flip flops that the president has done most notably when he goes from calling Osama bin Laden public enemy #1 but later admits he doesn’t think about him anymore. I know I have had issues with Bush-bashers lately, but this is an album everyone needs to listen to.
There were a lot of telethons over the weekend to help the victims of Katrina. First was the major one, Shelter From the Storm, that was on all the broadcast networks and a bunch of cable outlets too much like A Tribute to Heroes that was staged right after 9/11 except this was only an hour long and we weren’t subjected to a Canadian singing God Bless America. Unfortunately I was unable to talk to Mandy Moore when I called in, but at least all of the performances were great and poignant. Performances that stuck out for me included Mary J. Blige joining U2 for One and the heavy Creedence Clearwater Revival presences as the Foo Fighters covered Born on the Bayou and Garth Brooks added his rendition of Who’ll Stop the Rain? Ironically no one performed CCR’s ode to President Bush, Fortunate Son. Speaking of whom, the highlight of the whole evening was when Chris Rock, before going into his prepared speech, quickly threw in, “George Bush hates midgets.” Apparently Rock later went on the BET telethon, S.O.S., and added “George Bush hate albinos.” At least that what heard as I didn’t watch it myself because, much like my president, I don’t care about black people. As for the originator of that quote, I wonder if it was an accident that Kanye West's mike didn’t work to start of Jesus Walks, of which he was backed by a live choir and strings section.
Then last night saw the four hour concert, ReAct Now: Music and Relief, put on by the various music channels many of the acts a repeat of the night before, but each performing a different song than the night before. Some interesting new hair styles were sported on the telecast with John Mayer going with an Anikin in Episode III look, Trent Reznor’s new buzz cut that left him looking like Leonard Nimoy, and Melissa Etheridge, last seen completely bald at the Grammys is now starting to grow hers back after beating cancer. Musically the highlights included Reznor alone by a piano sing his song Hurt but sounding more like Johnny Cash’s version than his orginal, Maroon 5 doing the Beatles Don’t Let Me Down, Fiona Apple climbing out of obscurity to perform a new song, Extraordinary Machine, and Mötley Crüe being joined by the non-rapping dude from Linkin Park, a string section, a choir, and the dude from Tommy Lee Goes to College on the drums, to sing Home Sweet Home. Surprisingly good were the unknown artist from New Orleans such as Buckwheat Zydeco, Chris Thomas King, The Radiators, and Marc Broussard who all gave impassioned performances and hopefully MTV and VH1 put these artist in rotation because they deserve it. On the flip side, I was a little disappointed Chris Rock didn’t continue his “Bush hates…” routine.
For those that missed either show, they are being brought to you on demand through broadband channels, sorry dial-upers. For Shelter From the Storm, is being brought to you by AOL while ReAct Now is on both MTV and VH1. MTV and VH1 even are airing a couple of performances that were not aired. If you are a music fan, or even if you’re not, you can buy some of the performances from the ReAct concert at Connect. About half of the performances are up now including two unaired songs by Beck and Rob Thomas. The proceeds from the sales will be split up between the Red Cross, America’s Second Harvest and The Salvation Army. According to the site, there will be more up in the following days which I can assumes is because of legal issues. Way to go Music Industry for crewing up once again by dragging your feet on this. No word on when or if you can get your hands on songs from Shelter From the Storm. Personally, I'd love to have Mary J & U2's duet.
And the donations keep on pouring in from the celebrities. Michael Jackson says he is recording a song considering the one he did for 9/11 did so well. You remember the one that was produce by a porn star right? Also joining the “I have better thing to give than money bandwagon” is Terrell Owens who is putting up his NFC championship ring up for auction will all proceeds from the sale going to charity. Wow, he’s giving up a ring he didn’t even earn. Great PR move TO. Now how about a check you two? If you what to donate your money, click the Red Cross button in my sidebar.
“I hate the way they portray us in the media. You see a black family and they say we are looting, you see a white family and they say they are looking for food. And, you know, it’s been five days because most of the people ARE black. And even for me to complain, I would be a hypocrite because I would turn away from the TV because it’s too hard to watch. I’ve even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now I’m calling my business manager right to see what is the biggest amount I can give. And just to imagine, if I was down there and those are my people down there. If there is anybody out there that wants to do anything that we can help about the way America is set up the help the poor, the black people, the less well off as slow as possible. Red Cross is doing as much as they can. We already realize a lot of the people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way. And now they’ve given them permission to go down and shoot us.”
I had planned to put up a review of Kanye West’s latest album, Late Registration, but I haven’t quite finished it, but it looks like I’ll still be writing about Kanye today. Last night on NBC’s telethon to help Hurricane Katrina, Kanye went of scrip to give a passionate speech. People have torn down West for saying it wasn’t the place, but where else to criticize those exploiting hurricane victims than at a relief effort. If you read his statement, all of his initial rants are true. Every time I turn on new reports it’s either human interest stories featuring white people or stories featuring black people looting local stores.
As for West’s assessment that they do have permission to go down and start shooting looters, this is most likely in response to Governor of Louisiana Kathleen Blanco’s statement regarding National Guard returning from Iraq and heading straight to the area,
“They have M-16s, and they're locked and loaded. I have one message for these hoodlums: These troops know how to shoot and kill, and they are more than willing to do so if necessary, and I expect they will.”
Did the Governor seriously advocate killing off her constituents who are trying to provide for the families because the relief efforts were moving so slowly? Now I hate Bob Taft, but at least he has never advocated killing Ohioans. I’ll take a Governor who has a few free rounds of golf over one who want to unload M-16s into her people.
Now, I’ll admit Kanye did go overboard with the last statement about Bush. Bush does not necessarily hate black people, he hate anyone who cannot help him or his cronies, which just happens to include poor black people in New Orleans. Remember back a couple years ago, 2003, when a fire broke out in a Rhode Island club killing 100 people and injuring many more, federal aid was refuse multiple time even though lives were destroyed. It just so happened that this happened to working class people who lived in a “Blue” state. On the flip side, let us not forget last year when Hurricane Charles hit Florida, Bush ordered federal aid two hours after it hit, like he should have responded, it just happened that this Hurricane hit his brother’s state that also happened to be a swing state in the upcoming election. Yet when Hurricane Katrina hit a predominately “Blue” and poor area, the National Guards from other states couldn’t be accessed because the paperwork didn’t get through until Thursday. I’ll have to agree with Bush that this is unacceptable.
Back to Kanye West, if anyone was affected by his statements, NBC should be the one’s to blame for not doing the homework on a guy, who at Live 8, change lyrics to All Falls Down to “Drug dealer buy Jordon’s, crackhead buy crack and George Bush gets paid off of all of that.” He would later in an interview that day with MTV claims the AIDS was planted in Africa to kill black people. NBC should have known what they were getting when signing this guy up. Not too mention his recent political statements about the diamond trade in Sierra Leone (Throw Up Your Diamonds Like You're Bulimic). And don’t expect for Kanye West to lose any album sales as some suggest, because unlike the Dixie Chicks who has a larger conservative country fan base, West fan tend to be more liberal or they just don’t care about politics either way. Keep in mind Green Day sold over 3 million records of an album named American Idiot, so if anything, Kanye's sell will increase due to his speech.
I really try to avoid hot button topics, not that I don’t have an opinion or I don’t want to offend, it is because I usually have nothing to add to the discussion that hasn’t already been said. One of the biggest story of the day that has seem to grab the headlines over the token missing hot chick of the month is the story of Cindy Sheehan. Of course she is the mother of a soldier who was killed in Iraq who is now camping outside George Bush’s ranch in Crawford, Texas as he takes his five week vacation. Cindy wants to speak with Bush about what her son died for and this puts Bush in a no win position. If he doesn’t meet with her he looks inconsiderate but if he does meet with her (again as he met with her once already) he looks like he’s caving in. But I’m sure everyone knew that already. And now there is a new group heading to Texas named “You Don’t Speak For Me, Cindy,” or YDSFMC for short. That could be the lamest name ever conceived. Couldn’t they get some vowels in there somewhere? But anyways.
Now I have no problem with Cindy protesting the war or YDSFMC for protesting Cindy or Bush for choosing to avoid Cindy. But my problem is who exactly are these people that can spend weeks at a time protesting (not too mention having a five week vacation)? I remember passing various people on campus back in college and think that I a big a fan of social activism as the next insane person, but I always have better thing to do than handcuff myself to a building because some one was putting eyeliner on monkeys.
Another interesting topic on this issue is how no major Democratic Party leader has stepped up in support of Cindy Sheehan. Well that was until now, going down to Texas is no other than… The Reverend Al Sharpton. Sharpton, I believe last seen at the Michael Jackson trail, will join Sheehan in a peace vigil. And the insain train doesn’t stop with Sharpton either as a group of white supreminist are planning their own rally. No they are surprisingly not joining the Sheehan/Sharpton vigil or YDSFMC, but they will be in Crawford to throw their hats, err, hoods into the ring to oppose the war because they believe it is helping out Israel. As James Kelso, assistant to David Duke and a senior moderator of a website that will go unnamed put it, they are down there to,
"let the world know that white patriots were first and loudest to protest this war for Israel. We don't want leftist Johnny-come-latelys who are misleadingly protesting this war – as if the war is about oil (not true), or as if it's right-wing patriots who launched this war (not true) – to hijack the issue from us. We want to challenge these leftists with the fact that their leftist leaders, like Hillary Clinton, are on the same war-for-Israel team as the cowardly Republicans who have been bought and paid for in the Senate, House, White House and media by the Jewish Neocon political machine."
That could be the funniest thing I have read in a while. And I always thought Neocons were the religious fanatics of Christianity not part of the Jewish political machine. But I digress. But to get back to my main point of this whole post, do any of these people actually have jobs?
- Tonight is the greatest event in all of sports: the NBA Draft Lottery. Yeah it's rigged but it's always interesting to see who shows up for their respective teams. Will Kobe show up? LeBron? Will Spike Lee be the Knicks' representative? One thing for sure is that Elgin Baylor will be there for the 91st time. Check out the Sports Guy's take on the event: Lottery Ticket.
- It was just announced that Wicked Wisdom has joined the roster of this year's Ozzfest. Now that might not be newsworthy until you find out that Wicked Wisdom is actually a Christian metal band... whose lead singer happens to be Jada Pickett Smith. Yes that is Mrs. Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I think Vegas has the line set at three shows before she quits.
- Apparently the latest trend to sweep the nation is Movieoke. And it's pretty much what you think it is, karaoke with movies. Great, sign me up. I can't wait until I go, "You little son of a (expletive deleted) ball! Why you don't you just go home? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your home? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE (expletive deleted) BALL!" or "O.K., let me tell you what Like a Virgin's about. It's all about this (expletive deleted) who's a regular (expletive deleted) machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, (a lot of expletive deleteds). Then one day she meets this John Holmes (expletive deleted) and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape, he's digging tunnels. Now, she's gettin' the serious (expletive deleted) action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her, you know her (expletive deleted) should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat (expletive deleted) her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a (expletive deleted) machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, Like a Virgin." in front of a bunch of drunks. And one can hope the Fox in the future will follow up American Karaoke with American Movieoke. (Free plugs to anyone who can name one or both movie quotes. Leave your guesses in the comment section.)
- Natalie Portman has apparently came down with a case of the Sinéad O'Connor disease. It seems that she cut off her hair for a prison movie that she is doing. I was unaware that they shaved women's hair in prison, but oh well. Maybe if she was playing a cancer survivor, I'd understand the look, but not a prison inmate. This new hairstyle has dropped Portman out of my top 5. So now I will have to make an exhausting search to join Kate Bosworth, Natalie Coughlin, and the token hot chicks from Smallville and Lost. Any TV executive interested in a new reality show idea?
- Keeping with the Star Wars theme, it seems that a lot of people are drawing comparisons between Darth Vader and George W. Bush. God bless stupid people. In this scenario wouldn't that make George W. Luke Skywalker and George H.W. Bush Darth Vader? That would be backwards because George H.W. Bush was a good president and George W. Bush is the evil one. For more on this lunacy check out The Empire Strikes Bush.
- Is it just me or did the dude from Coldplay look like Schroeder from Peanuts on Saturday Night Live when he was at the piano?
- Speaking of SNL, how many more times does Horatio Sanz get to forget a line or go out of character before he gets fired? Does he have something over Loren Michaels? Does Michaels keep him on because if he gave Sanz the boot then he would have to find a token fat guy and a token Hispanic dude?
- Now I didn't watch it, and I hope none of you watched it, but I hope child welfare workers watched Britney and Kevin: Chaotic.
- There is nothing more depressing than knowing the one of the back up lip-syncers in *NSYNC actually dated #1 on Maxim’s Top 100 list I and haven’t. Shouldn’t dating a boy bander, by virtue, drop you a few notches anyways?
- It’s never a good sign when a pitcher on fantasy team gets tennis elbow from spending four hours a day e-mailing his brother. Hey, Carlos Zambrano, it’s called a telephone; I think you can afford the long distance charge. But I guess it’s my fault drafting a pitcher that is coached by Dusty Baker.
- A couple of weeks ago, it was reported that the armed forces came up way short on recruitment goal, and those enrollment may go lower. Patrick Tillman’s family is blasting the US military for giving covered up the investigation into Tillman’s death in Afghanistan. They also accuse the military of created a heroic tale about how Pat died in hopes of garnishing a patriotic response. This brings to mind Jessica Lynch who became a national hero just by being rescued. I remembered the military that rescued Jessica refuse to use a key that an Iraqi offered them because knocking the door down made a better story. It’s sad that it took ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on Sunday to honor the true hero of that story, Lori Piestewa who gave her life in Iraq. For more on the Pat Tillman story, check out Tillman’s parents lash out at Army.
- Is there anything more annoying than the person who stands in the same place in the supermarket for minutes at a time blocking you from the Ho-Ho's that would take you a second to pick up?
- All video game nerds need to check out this movie. Warning, pop some popcorn, this is going to take awhile: PSP vs. Everyone
- Jeb Bush, with the NRA by his side, recently passed the "fight force with force" law. Great. I can't wait on my next vacation to accidentally bump into a native only for him to pull out an AK and put more holes in me than Swiss cheese. I guess Jeb isn’t a Christian like his brother because true Christians turn the other cheek. Wait, George doesn’t really turn the other cheek much either. For more on this story check out - Law Lets Floridians `Meet Force With Force'
- Sticking with the armpit of America, Florida officials said that a fourteen orphan is not mature enough to have an abortion. Great rational until some one asks, "is a fourteen year old mature enough to have a baby."
- With the last two items, one has to wonder what is going on down in Florida? Add to the list Shivo, Elian Gonzalez, voter fraud, girls gone wild, hurricanes. What was the one constant for all of this? Yeah, you guessed it, Jeb Bush. I'm not into conspiracy theories, but I have a feeling there might be a correlation. (I guess conspiracy theories aren’t that bad when I'm the one to start them.)
- The most interesting aspect of the Runaway Bride episode is, aside it surprisingly has nothing to do with Florida, is that the bride said her kidnappers were Hispanic. Fake assailants were typically reserved for African Americans, but this is what happens when you become the largest minority. So congratulation Hispanics, you have become the biggest target for racism.
- I recently have seen a slew of teenagers wears shirt that read, "Don't blame me, blame my parents." How do they get away with wearing this? Do these kids actually do their own laundry because I know from experience that I never saw my "Just Do Me" shirt again after the first time I put in the laundry bin.
- I'm sure that everyone has seen this picture by now. Bushites people have explain that it is a custom in Saudi Arabia. But Bush is not Arab, he's American. And in America, when two dudes hold hands, they are considered gay homosexuals. And Howard Dean wanted to be the first gay President. I guess you are too late Mr. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
- So Kellen Winslow might have a torn ACL and be out for another season. Thanks Butch Davis. So we wasted a first round and a second round pick for a moron who was so willing to ignore his contract. And what was he doing at Cuyahoga Community College? If you are going to something stupid, at least do it at a real college.
- Dave Matthews Band week starts in two day. For those that want an early jump, VH1 is streaming their new album Stand Up.
The NY Times reported the other day about the songs that George W. Bush has on his iPod. Since the article, White House Letter: President Bush's iPod (free sign up required), said he still has a lot of space left, I thought I would be nice enough to give him some suggestions he might want to add taken from my own personal iPod:
. And totally inferior as Normal Again was one of my favorite hours of television ever.
![Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhebDZ0qqwOVKMZj7oFSUe8Hm3ax54U9Hp1fThJPgiddTyzcdwx_5SV6E3b7hkKyxbaDiym4COmUXT2YJnsKCUjBHI_a2xZtNoY7qFQRslP5AGO5gLkJwn2ZbO0wIF80ycbKrgPPA/s400/small_high.png)
on my 
Then last night saw the four hour concert, ReAct Now: Music and Relief, put on by the various music channels many of the acts a repeat of the night before, but each performing a different song than the night before. Some interesting new hair styles were sported on the telecast with 
I had planned to put up a review of Kanye West’s latest album, 
Another interesting topic on this issue is how no major Democratic Party leader has stepped up in support of Cindy Sheehan. Well that was until now, going down to Texas is no other than… The Reverend Al Sharpton. Sharpton, I believe last seen at the Michael Jackson trail, will join Sheehan in a peace vigil. And the insain train doesn’t stop with Sharpton either as a group of white supreminist are planning their own rally. No they are surprisingly not joining the Sheehan/Sharpton vigil or YDSFMC, but they will be in Crawford to throw their hats, err, hoods into the ring to oppose the war because they believe it is helping out Israel. As James Kelso, assistant to David Duke and a senior moderator of a website that will go unnamed put it, they are down there to, 
