57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/29/16

House of Lies: This was the second time this season the group got high to close a deal. Nice work if you can get it.

Penny Dreadful: So we do get a full flashback episode with Vanessa in the mental hospital and it was Frankenstein’s monster as the orderly. Kind of horror movies set up, girl in mental hospital and orderly learn to accept each other, a quick scare in the middle, and then at the end we finally see the Lucifer.. and then his brother… Dracula? And Lucifer is scared of Dracula? Mmm, alright. I kind of wish this was mixed in with other character’s segments because there was not much going on to fill an entire hour.

Gotham: I think I actually liked Clayface as Gordon more than I liked Gordon himself. Of course none of the guys figured out it was an imposter and it took Barbra only thirty seconds spot that it was not him. Speaking of doppelgangers, that last person out of the bus certainly looked a lot like Bruce with Edward Scissorhand hair.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Blindspot: So just who is Jane Doe? Taylor Shaw was a very compelling story arc that apparently is not who she is (though this is television, they can always have a twist next season and be like, nope, she really was Taylor, the bones were planted and Kurt’s dad was brainwashed; and of course my clone theory could still be in play). So Kurt arrests Jane, who surprisingly goes willingly. Sure he does not even give a reason, what exactly is she under arrest for? He does not know she killed a dude. She did not still someone else’s identity, it was assigned to her by the FBI themselves. I do have a sinking suspicion that the start of the next season, one of her tattoos will be integral to a case Kurt is working on and he will begrudgingly let her out of custody.

The Path: So the season ends where the first episode did, but instead of Eddie hallucination the leader dying with a snake slithering on him, he actually sees the cancer stricken leader up and walking around… or did he? A pretty vague ending. Still some other plot points things left unresolved. I spent most of the season wondering if certain characters were going to leave the cult while other would join. It seemed like the husband died under iffy circumstances yet that was not brought up this week and it seemed that the FBI guy may actually be back in, especially if he starts to believe Eddie’s prayer helped. And I am not entirely sure what I saw at the end. Cal spoke of a miracle a couple episodes ago, is the leader now cured and that is the miracle? Is Eddie hallucinating the leader, who is already dead, and the leader came to him in a passing of the torch situation?
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

The Americans: If one would flip, I always thought Philip would be the one as he actually seem to have empathy for his victims while Elizabeth is more single minded at her tasks. Last week was the first time I remember seeing empathy from her asking out of her con on the Asian people and then again when she got a call from the wife. Of course all that went out the window when she stabbed a dude in the neck in front of her daughter. Hard to claim to be a non-violent spy when you can kill a man that easily and not blink.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: The show was a late cancel and it did seem like there was a good chance it was coming back (they just hired a new showrunner for a potential next season) but it did seem like they rushed to put a nice bow on every storyline (well, except Juliet’s plane going missing and of course Layla can never end up happy). Especially the Maddie, she gets mad when Deacon tries to save her from a skeevy dude at a concert caressing her leg, but is glad when he is there when a skeevy producer does the same thing. But it was definitely time for this show to go, probably could have ended last season.

The Challenge: Rivals III: So this is the fourth episode and we still have had only one elimination. As much as I enjoy see Camillinator just going H.A.M. on everyone, let’s cut some of that down and get back to one elimination per episode. Or cut down on time spent on challenges by getting rid of heat based challenges. Sure I enjoy seeing people dropping from heights into water, but we only saw three heats this week and we still have three or four left to get through. (also ending on a is Camilla hurt cliffhanger loses its suspense when we see her at the elimination on the promo for next week, stupid promo monkeys.) Figure out how to have everyone go at once because these heat based challenges are getting too repetitive. Or do a spelling bee, c’mon, who’s against a spelling be challenge (except the actual contestants)?
You can download The Challenge: Rivals III on iTunes.

Orphan Black: The Donny getting arrested scene was great, probably the most entertaining this season, but why did Allison not go down for the drug business too? As great as Donny in jail will likely be, Allison in prison would be so much better.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/20/16

Once Upon a Time: Poor Abigail Hobbs, suffers so long on Hannibal only to get her throat slit by him and end up in the underworld. I figured she would end up being the love interest from the Hercules movie, but that movie was so unmemorable I barely even remember her. And since this half of the season is based on his movie, it is weird that it looks like Hercules only gets one episode. I guess being a demi-god means he could probably travel to the Underworld whenever he wants, so maybe he will be back to take on his uncle.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Oh Lip, you just do not pour Jack Daniels down your throat, which was just the bane of my existence in college. I guess I am lucky to never walking up in a hospital and downing that. But maybe the dumber part of the episode was Fiona excepting a proposal by a guy using her current husband’s engagement ring. Shouldn’t it happening at your divorce proceeding be a huge red flag as to you not being marriage ready? And I cannot help but assume Frank is guying to go through that weed stash befor the commune makes enough to move to Hawaii, here is a guy who still has not learned to never, under any circumstance, get high off his own supply.

The Walking Dead: It took me a couple of minutes to recognize Alicia Witt. And it only took me a couple more minutes before realizing I do not want to see evil Alicia Witt. At least she died quickly, well after having her face eaten off. Ouch.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: At the beginning of the episode I thought, oh wow, having the janitor as a mole is kind of brilliant, he can go through trash, is usually alone after hours to do other snooping. That may actually be better than blackmailing the lesbian. Who would suspect the janitor? But I turns out the attorney’s mole is actually a double agent and Axe knows everything. Though how does this even end good for the mole / double agent? Does Axe have a retirement plan for him where he lives on the beach of a country without an extradition tready? There is the old saying that some people play checkers against people playing chess, Axe may be playing three dimensional chess while Rhoades is just playing regular chess.

Quantico: Stupid promo monkey, last week when they said someone was going to die this week, I figured there is no way they would kill of the person with a bomb strapped to their waist, but that is exactly who they killed (granted not with that bomb). Also my theory about death no meaning much on the show since the actors would still be in flashbacks became moot because that chick got sent packing in the flashbacks too.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: Awe, red kryptonite, always good to spruce things up. I did like how they explained it as Maxwell Lord failing to recreate the regular kind. It also explains why Jimmy would not instantly know what was going on because Superman would have never been exposed before. Apparently Superman was too busy to stop his cousin from destroying her city so instead Martian Manhunter had to expose himself. Though that still does not explain why they did not have any green kryptonite to weaken her first so he did not have to out himself as an alien too, and in the process go, oh yeah, the guy whose body I took over is dead. Still I give it one episode before a threat so great pops up that they need to release him to help Supergirl in the fight.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: Holy Lori Petty sighting! And still sporting her Tank Girl haircut about a quarter of a century later. Interesting that the show has younger versions of all the Batman buddies and villains and yet we get what I assume is a older Harley Quinn surrogate. But of course since she is in the movies, we will likely never get an actual character named Harley Quinn on the show. That would have been a lot more interesting than the Silver St. Cloud we got instead.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Lucifer: Holy Herc back in a wheelchair sighting! A couple episodes back I suggested what this show needed was a serialized component, except I was hoping for something more supernatural, not a cop corruption case. And of course the separated husband shot the other cop, it is really the only possible suspect. Maybe this will end up having a supernatural component because Lucifer did save the guy. Does he know that he was shot by the husband and that is why he saved him? But if so, why not tell lady cop her husband is corrupt.
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: Oh wow, a Chrissy Seaver training montage, get that girl in the field. But I thought for sure the mole was going to end up being Sutter ex-girlfriend. Oh well.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Ooo, Talbert was the mole, not a good way to start off that relationship. But I missed part of the episode because my local ABC station broke into the show for John Kasich’s victory speech as if anyone who actually wanted to hear it was not all ready watching CNN or another 24-hour cable channel. So after a minute of him not actually saying anything (Apparently there was a protester yet the cameraman could not find him) I flipped over to The Voice until it went to a commercial. So I switch back to ABC and they were airing commercials already. So I flipped to CNN and Kasich was still talking. Seriously, if you are going to break into a show just show the whole speech at that point. So I missed about five minute of the show. I went to Hulu the next day but forgot ABC has a stupid eight day waiting period as if they do not want people to ever get caught up. I am certainly not watching it On Demand if I cannot skip to the part I missed, so hopefully nothing important happened during those five minutes.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Wait, let me get this straight, CeCe is not Alison’s sister, but her cousin, that her parents adopted (and then ignored even existed) whose mother is Mrs. Dilarentas twin (and apparently has the same initials A.D.), is just as tech savy as her daughter, and is in cahoots with CeCe’s doctor who married Alison as part of some plan that involves an extremely lifelike Wilden mask. Alrighty. And of course Hanna’s plan to admit she was the killer turned out horribly.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty: After Lizzie got the boot two weeks ago, I came to the realization that I do not particularly like anyone this season besides the hot chick alliance. And as if the show was trolling me (and every red-blooded American straight dude watching), when they split the tribes into two, the hot chick alliance somehow ended up on three different beaches. Making things worse, the third hot chick would replace the person who gets voted out waking it is both tribes best interest to get rid of a Beauty to make sure they do not become a majority on their tribe. What an amazing turnabout because had Caleb had not been pulled from the game, and assuming the tribe split when the same way with Caleb and Hot Chick #3 go to opposite tribes, the Beauty tribe goes from a majority in both tribes to being outnumbered or even in the tribes.

What is amazing is the actually had a way to make lemonade out of lemons because Gay Asian had an Idol, if he uses it correctly, can turn hiss tribe from a Brains dominated tribe into a Beauty controlled one. Except Gay Asian and Scot showed exactly why they did not start on the Brains tribe because they both made extremely dumb strategic moves. Instead of using the Idol, giving his tribe a Beauty majority, now Gay Asian is exactly where he was when the tribes swapped, one less Beauty than Brain with untrustable Scot in the middle. So he may very have to use that Idol next week except now when someone gets voted out, there is not another Beauty coming to help you out. I fully understand wanting to save an Idol for yourself, but the one time you do give an Idol to someone else is to get the numbers on your side. And what is even worse now for Gay Asian is that now not only does he not have the numbers, everyone knows he has an Idol which puts him in a horrible position in the game.

As for Scot, telling Gay Asian not to play the Idol was a bad strategic move too. So what if he now knows where two Idols are? Does he really think that if he is voted out, Gay Asian and Bounty Hunter are really going to come together like Voltron to save him? Do you know what is better than knowing where two Idols are? Having your own Idol. And if Gay Asian plays his Idol, there will be a new one in play the very next day that you can go out and find for yourself (and there is another reason Gay Asian should have played his, he already found one Idol, go and replace it after you play one like Kelley Wentworth last season). You can easily convince Bounty Hunter to enter a pact to save each other, than to get two people to give up their Idols for basically nothing.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty on iTunes.

The Americans: It took the daughter three seasons to find out her parents were Russians, so I guess it should not be surprising nothing happens with that information except tell her minister who I guess is bound by some client confidentiality agreement or something. Kind of a run of the mill premiere as I guess these chemical weapons will be this season’s theme. How disappointing Stan did not break it while assaulting Philip.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: What a boring wedding. No deaths, no crashers. Just Avery annoyingly getting asked where Juliette was every two minutes. At least let Layla go HAM after learning Jeff did not kill himself and Juliette was just covering it up so she did not look bad. Meh.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 12/6/15

Once Upon a Time: So Emma stole everyone's memory because she stole Captain Hook's memory and wanted everyone to forget she turned him into a Dark One and stole his because his big master-plan was to resurrect all the Dark Ones. I hate this show. When Captain Hook was going to open the gates to the Underworld I actually was kind of hoping the show was going to exploited Hercules next and go hang out with Hades.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: What a great episode. The whole trying to entrap Allison was just gripping. First time fails as she just has sex with a dude instead of panicking. And then there is a great spy vs. spy stuff when she actually does run. But I was a bit disappointed in the ending when Allison whispers in the Russian's ear and I am thinking it is some great plan only for her to say he was her asset this whole time which I really do not think anyone should buy. She has a high ranking Russian mole that she has never told anyone about before? I really hope that Dar (or the writers think Dar) is that stupid. She is going to need more than that to get out of this.As for the other half of the episode, I am beginning to tire of the Quinn story line.

The Walking Dead: Oh Carl, kill that kid... and his brother. Then I do not sure who is more stupid fighting to the death over the captured Wolf: Carol or Morgan. Know you both are knocked out and he is set free. The show usually does premieres and finales the best but this may have been the worst of any of them since the farm season. Hopefully Negan is as great as message board commentator say. The Governor certainly was not.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: This is the third time this season I spent the episode we would get to spend an entire act with the daughter. The first time was when she showed up drunk to the guest house, then when she showed up drunk to the Lockhart's Thanksgiving, and now with she drunkenly making out with another chick in a hot tub while her naked father watched inches away. Since the switched up the format this week, can we please get an episode dedicated to what she has been up to this season? Oooh, maybe that is the season finale: we follow drunk daughter through this season and ends with her drunk driving into Scotty.

Into the Badlands: The plot is still thin and silly but, hey, it is still visually cool. And that has to be the first wheelchair fight ever on television. Well, unless you count the cripple fight on South Park.
You can download Into the Badlands on iTunes.

Gotham: What a bizarrely awesome assortment of people going after Galavan. Thankfully Lucius finally was able to fix the computer two months later to join them to point out how silly it all was. Seriously, a fifteen year old girl took out an armed guard with a kick. Then Tigress's great escape was great, pushing her niece out the window only to just out later only to reveal they both had parachute gliders. But I did call Silver would be the one who saved Bruce (somewhat, she basically just stalled long enough for the ragtag gang to show up). I was a bit surprised that Jim was the one who killed Galavan, I thought he would just walk away and let Penguin do what he wanted. And how did the body end up in the morgue? How about dropping the body in the river to get rid of the evidence. Now Dr. Strange has control of the body for whatever reason along with a not so subtle glimpse at Fish Mooney in one of the tanks. I did not recognize anyone else in the tanks that could hint at who is next, I will have to check the internet nerd who are smarter than me to see if I missed something. Though I definitely recognized Mr. Freeze at the end.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Supergirl: Yeah, Maxwell Lord is definitely going to hook up with Kara's sister. Kind of a meh episode aside from the Landry Clarke's father sighting. I wonder now that he is free from his creator if Red Tornado will gain free will and start fighting for good or if this was a one off episode for him.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I was shocked when the episode started with Coulson having a dinner date with Roz after learning last week she was working with Hydra, even if that was inadvertently. But being a show with Joss Whedon on it, having a happy couple means one of them had to die. And of course this drives Coulaon to skydive into a portal to another world. Aside from the shocking death, mostly a filler episode setting up what looks like a big Winter Final (ugg) with a battle on the Inhuman planet. The big question is if they are able to bring back Simmons' astronaut buddy and will the big bad Inhuman comes back too. My prediction: they are the same person!!!!
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: I know you have to say anything to make it three more days when you think you are on the bottom, but Joe's "We should vote out the person everyone wants to sit next to at Final Tribal" has to be the worst pitch in Survivor history. How about pointing out how the person who dominates the Immunity Challenges never win the game?
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: The daughters are really starting to get annoying. I know teenagers are annoying and moody in real life but do television writers realize how painful it is to watch them on television? Teenagers on television have not always been this annoying. I blame the annoying people who are constantly harping on things not being realistic, which I think started when people started pointing out Jack Bower never went to the bathroom once over the course of twenty-four hours or ever got stuck in Los Angeles traffic. These this did not happen because it made for bad television.And as realistic as annoying teenagers are, it is time to ban them from television.

The Wiz Live!: Well that was significantly better than the previous two musicals even if there was a visible camera in the first scene. Which I guess was not too hard because Carrie Underwood cannot act, Allison Williams was horribly miscast and Christopher Walken may have been asleep the whole time. Mary J. Blige pretty much stole the show with maybe the most over the top acting ever put to film. Maybe NBC should do Wicked next and let Mary reprise her role. Granted, if I were the guy in charge, I would still throw all the money I could at Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling for a live production of Guys and Dolls, with Kristen Bell and Jason Street in the supporting roles. Of course now we do not have to wait another year for the next musical because next month Fox is putting on Grease Live. Cannot wait. We are truly living the the greatest era for cheesy entertainment since the eighties.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/22/15

Once Upon a Time: Well that was weird, I know that it was not designed to be a two parter but still weird of all the episodes to pair up, why these two? Why not a two part winter finale instead? The first hour was heavy into the big mystery of the season where we finally learn Emma's plan (she saved Captain Hook by turning him into another Dark One, huh, and want to put the darkness into the Wicked Witch and kill her eliminating the darkness once and for all, alrighty) but then they follow it up with two characters we have not seen for a couple seasons. Both explanations of where Mulan and Red Riding Hood were a little silly. Really all it made me do was wonder what ever happened to Cinderella and Hurley the Ogre.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: When Saul was riding down the elevator, I was thinking to myself, if this were any other spy show, he would just ninja chop everyone and the door would open with everyone else conscienceless on the floor. What actually happened was almost as absurd as a bunch of ninjas abducted him instead. So now Saul has defected to Israel. Alrighty. If the CIA really wanted him, doesn't Israel give him back? Though I am sure the season will be resolved and Saul will be vindicated before that happens. Them the episode ends with Carrie calling Allison for help. So Carrie did not recognize Allison's voice when she called Quinn's attempted assassin's phone number?

The Walking Dead: So who said "Help" at the end of the episode? It did not cross my mind that it was a not so dead Glenn until the internet reminded me he was out there. Did he even had a walkie? At any rate I still do not think it was him but an yet to be seen newbie who hijacked the frequency.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: During the early episodes I thought that the differences in the stories were just how Noah and Allison were spinning their stories to the police, but after that blow up at Thanksgiving where Allison called out Noah for distorting her versions of what happened, I am beginning to think that Noah's version his his book and Allison's version is a tell all story she will write in the future. Of course then that would mean Cole and Helen are also going to write their own tell all book... and possibly in future seasons, Whitney, the red head dude that is always lurking around, and probably even a posthumous book by Scotty. Actually the red head and drunk daughter end up getting their own segments in the future because they are becoming my favorite parts of the show because the four main characters are becoming increasingly dreadful.

Supergirl: Have we always known Dean Cain was dead? I kept wondering why he was not at Thanksgiving and then I finally learn at the end he was killed in a plane accident, possibly at the hands of Supergirl's other boss. And looking at Ally McBeal's new face may be rough but she definitely gets all the best lines: "You have the wit of a YouTube comment."
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Blindspot: I am wrong for actually kind of like Rich Dot Com? But anyway. I (apparently) was half right on Chrissy Seaver's boyfriend. So he has not turned out to be not be a bad guy but it looks like he will turn out to be the not so socking death last week promised (though it is kind of unclear if he is actually dead, the boss gave a head shack but was it a "it does not look good shake" or a "he is not going to make it" shake? Since the next promo did not promise a death I am guessing that was it.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: For me this season has been all about Simmons other planet and we finally got big reveal after big reveal about the place. So back in the earliest days of Hydra, which apparently pre-dates Red Skull by centuries, if not millenniums, there was the first Inhuman and they (for reason I did not quite understand) shipped it off to this other planet and would occasionally send sacrifices to the planet until they could build an Inhuman army for it to command. Okay, that is kind of awesome. Now evil Hydra guy want to bring the first Inhuman back and has to figure out how SHIELD was able to get Simmons back. This should be interesting to see if the evil Hydra guy is able to succeed in this plan or not or will SHIELD be able to stop them. Or maybe SHIELD will unwillingly bring that Inhuman back when they rescue Simmons astronaut friend.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chance: In a season of so many twists I have lost count we got two more this week. First off the lame one, again the show hid a clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol instead of the actual Idol. But instead of hiding it at the Immunity Challenge, which was a cool chance, it was just some silly rules based scavenger hunt where Jeremy could only retrieve it at night when everyone was asleep. But the other twist was much more interesting, if you quit the Immunity Challenge you could receive an advantage in the game. I am actually surprised only two people jumped down, in the torrential downpour, I think I would take my chance with reaching the buoy first unless I was part of the Witches Coven who were on the chopping block. The advantage is a twist on last season's extra vote twist but instead of getting an extra parchment to write down another name, you get to steal someone else's vote. That is evil, I love it.

Then finally someone broke from the massive nine person alliance, I never understood why no one seemed to want to work with Abi Maria, Ciera, or Kass because those seem like lay-ups in the finals. Of course the vote came down to Kelley W. and Kelly W. (which was what Spencer actually wrote on his parchment). It looks like there may be another twist next week as the promo shows everyone drawing rocks. It is during the day so it is probably is not a tied Tribal Council (plus if you are Stephan, you make sure you break a tie with your advantage). Last season everyone who tried to bid their entire wad on an advantage at the food auction drew rocks. Could it be for the first time every everyone is smart enough to not buy food at the auction? Still I think if it came down to it I bet Abi Maria and Keith at least would still be stupid enough to buy food instead of waiting for the advantage.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: More hair drama! Though to be honest I would not have even notice if Maddie died her hair had someone not mentioned it. So it is, what, a shade or two lighter? Does not seem like much of a deal for a sixteen year old.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: For a "Fall Finale" that was a pretty week Blacklister of the week crew. They may have been the lamest Blacklisters in the history of the show (which is probably why they were not originally on the list). And Ressler's Boy Scout routine was a little much considering he was the one who let Lizzy escapee in the first place. But we got the reveal that the Senator is part of the Cabal though I am not sure how we got there, what was with the thing in Africa, I missed the significance there. Oh well. It looks like the midseason premiere has Lizzy stuck in Reddington's cage where I guess we will have a repeat of the episode where Red got stuck in the box with a shot Ressler this time with Lizzie in the box and the Cabal trying to get in.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/31/15

Homeland: During the excitement of the return of Crazy Carrie last week I missed that Quinn was sent there to kill Carrie. Of course he did not. Thankfully we learned by the end of the episode who it was because really, there were only two plausible people in my mind, Dar and the German Bureau chief. Now the question was she also involved in the plane explosion too.

The Walking Dead: So Glen died. Or did he? I have a long standing belief to never believe someone is dead until we see a body. Well we definitely see zombies tear at Glen's flesh. But then there is the addendum to that belief that even if you see the body, I am still skeptical. The skeptical part of me noticed that the dude who killed himself was falling on top of Glen so it is very plausible that the entrails being pulled out were that of the other guy so I would not be that shocked if Glen shows up later in the season saying he slid under the trash bin while the zombies ate the other dude and just waited there to leave. Then I switched over from Quantico during the commercial to Talking Dead, which lack the obligatory actor shows up after he dies which is always kind of painful, as the producers saying in the most vague way possible that we will see Glen again in some capacity and the character was not included in the In Memorium package either. But the bigger question is why was Glen even in that position? How did Morgan make it back to Alexandria but Glen's group could not? And in the alley way, why did they not climb over the fence bordering the woods? But the second rule of this show is if the characters did the smart thing every time, there would be no show.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: It seemed like an open and shut case Helen would get full custody of the kids, hey, they were not even around in the future act of the season finale last year with Noah and Allison in their swanky high rise. But how does Helen possibly get any visitation right, let along full custody, after a DUI with the kids in the car and weed in her purse? Grandma may be getting the kids because neither parent seems fit. Or maybe they will get shipped off to their aunt's place. Maybe there is a reason we have yet seen one of the Solloway children in the future yet.

Quantico: This week's Power Ranking of Most Absurd Moments of the Week: 1) The front page picture of Alex which looked like it was taken from a Maxim photo shoot, 2) The live stream instant;u getting twelve million viewers, 3) Taylor Swift (did they already run of hot blondes to call her already or did I just miss it this week) abandoning her mission to have sex with her antagonist.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: Oh my, is it too soon to call this the guiltiest guilty pleasure in the history of television?
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: It was an obvious joke, but I am still glad Barbra suggested Butch put a chainsaw on his stump of a hand (and the same week Ash vs. the Evil Dead premieres to boot). Just as obvious was Kristen Kingle would die which would push Ed closer to being The Riddler, the only question was when and by who's hand. We finally got our answer this week as Ed stupidly admitted to killing her last boyfriend and then suffocated while promising to never hurt her again. Not how long until his wardrobe turns green?
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: So if Emmett was home for the summer and the final scene takes place ten months later, that makes it March / April right? So why are Daphne and Bay are still in China? Are they staying there because I am guessing Bay does not obtain gainful employment for a vacation. And what was the phone call? Ug, I hate cliffhangers like this.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

The Voice: What the frack?!? This show is just trolling me at this point. Andi & Alex were number one on my Battle Ranking Power Rankings, go first and get booted by Adam in favor of some mediocre rocker who has little chance of making it to the top twelve (unless Adam is stupid enough to save him so it is not entirely out of the question). Next up is Ellie Lawrence, who topped my Blind Audition Power Ranking, who goes out to Braiden Sunshine, who has sat in the bottom both times. Making things worse I joked in that post that Braiden would end up being this season's Ryan Sill (never forget), beating Gwen's lone four chair singer in the Battle Round, then probably beat Ellie in the Knockout Round, before Gwen inexplicably saved him in the Playoffs. That was a joke Gwen, you were not supposed to actually do this. Sure picking Demi Lovato was kind of disaster (has anyone ever advanced on this show singing one of her songs) but still I would take Ellie at her worst than Braiden at his worst. I really hate this show. Is it really hard to get the twenty best singers to the Live Show? It seem like five of the twelve that advanced this week just scream fodder and whose only chance to advance is if their coaches save them. I would have said six but sadly Viktor will probably advance by the public because the bored housewife voting block will be voting for his face over his voice.

Blindspot: I would say it is kind of random to have the other chick from Young and Hungry show up on your serious drama but I guess the first time I noticed her was when she was recurring during the first season of The Americans. Since she has that other gig, it is a shame she cannot stick around because it got really sad watching Jane try to connect with anyone and getting shut down every time. Plus that nerd fight scene with the tech person on the team was fun too. Oh well.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Marvel's Agent's of S.H.I.E.L.D.: We finally get the what happened to Simmons episode and sadly no talking ducks were involved. I actually enjoyed the first segment but as soon as the astronaut showed up I got less and less involved. Then the ending was just silly, seriously, hold each other's hands so you do not get separated. And though we know know what went on, we are left with more questions, like what is "death." Then you have the promo saying May's husband died last week. Alrighty, there goes my theory that he survived.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Wicked City: I do not really need another serial killer show in my life, but hey, it is the chick from Swimf@n and it is not like there is anything else on at the time. But how exactly how long will the show last if the detective was able to figure out who it is in the first episode. Take the reporter to the artist and then post the picture around town.
You can download Wicked City on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: What a great decision to switch tribes up as many times this season, it is much better than having silly gimmicks like Redemption Island (and the promos says there are merging early next week too). You have one tribe with only one original member of the other tribe but she was the one with an Immunity Idol. Then there was Stephan's weird tearful rant about not wanting an Alpha Male beating him again. But of course it was Abi Maria's tribe that went to Tribal Council. And what weird bedfellows that ousted Woooooooooooo. Aside from Abi Maria, you had Chaos Kass, her nemesis Spencer, and a paranoid Ciera who did appreciate Savage putting her name in his mouth. Seriously, has there ever been a weirder alliance than those four? It will be interesting to see how things shake up after the merge. Will that five strong alliance actually stick together (since not one alliance has stayed strong I am guessing no), and if so, they still need two more for a majority. But now that we are at the merge, you have to go ahead and pencil in Abi Maria into the finals because who would not want to sit next to her. Imagine what fireworks a Abi Maria vs. Kass would produce. But thankfully Terry's son turned out to be alright. You never want to see someone go home like that. It is a bit surprising that it does not happen more often. I believe it was only the second time in thirty season.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: When drunk young Wheeler walked out on the terrace, I thought, oh no, he is the one going over the edge, not Juliette. Instead Jeff awkwardly fell over while trying to save her. Poor Juliette, the one guy who could spin this into her favor just splattered on the sidewalk. And poor Layla, her husband turned out to be gay, she gets dropped from one label and put on the back burner of another, and now her boyfriend dies of what will be ruled as an apparent suicide depending on what dunked young Wheeler says.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: There is nothing I hate on television more than the x amount of time earlier place card. Am I really supposed to believe they killed off Lizzy? Never crossed my mind even when they were significantly outnumbered in the Mexican standoff. But I did like that the person who put the hit on her was a teenage girl not like the CIA guy who seemed too obvious or the Congresswoman who was another suspect of mine.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/18/15

Once Upon a Time: Why is Snow White so quick to believe Sir Lancelot, this is clearly a different dude (wait, was that the same guy poising as an usher at the beginning of the season who told Emma not to pull the sword from the stone)? But anyway. I am beginning to think King Arthur is not who he says he is, maybe he is Merlin in disguises and the real King Arthur is in the tree. But what is bugging me is that all the new characters that come to Storybrooke never change their clothes anymore. Can't they get the Camelotians a change of clothes?
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: My favorite part of the early season was when the leaker was talking about how the German spies were probably searching her apartment right now and she did not mind as long as they did not let her cat out, cut to the German spy deadpanning, "Did you see a cat?" Awesome. I also found it interesting that the one guy accused Carrie of being a Trojan Horse for Saul in the evil foundation. That would totally be something they would do (and kind of did in season three when he sold her out to the Senate). But their interaction during their first interaction was too raw and there was no one around for it to be for show (but then again Carrie looked stunned when Saul sold her out to the Senate and no one was around then either). Another great scene was when the German Bureau Chief called out Saul for doing anything for Carrie whenever she messed up but quickly sold her out after one mistake. It is about time someone did that. But the big question is who want Carrie dead? Is the CIA too obvious?

The Walking Dead: Last week I called the plan from the season finale of Fear the Walking Dead the dumbest idea in the history of dumb ideas, but the main show came close. Would it have not been wiser to just set the whole lot on fire instead of Pied Pipering them to... where exactly were they leading all the zombies? Of course, as I have said many times before, if these characters were smart it would be a very boring show.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Quantico: Wait, the gay dude (who is probably not even gay) is in cahoots with Jacob from Lost? Huh, that makes little to no sense and just a shock for shock sake. If your secret agent knows where the suspect is, who not send in the SWAT team? Which probably means Jacob is in on the whole conspiracy. And why is she still on the run anyway, doesn't the fingerprint thing just exonerate her?
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: Wait, did I just see a grown man punch a teenage girl on national television? That is messed up.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: I really do not like the Battle Round, they just seem to drag on since they went from four Battles per hour to three after the first season. I figured I would just watch the episode On Demand later and watched other programming live (I still watched the second hour Monday live thanks to the lack of anything else on at the time). Except when I went to watch On Demand, I just went, nope, cannot watch this crap anymore after the boring hour I already sat through. So I just watched the YouTube versions, so overextended training clips and stop watching when the coaches start talking in hyperbole about how great the performances are just to sit on their hands when Carson tells them the losing singer is available for a Steal. Plus the two bald jokes I already heard got old real quick.

Even condensing those two hours into less than twenty minutes on YouTube (seriously, there were 180 minutes of the show airing this week and only something less than a half an hour are devoted to people actually performing) this week was quite dreadful. The only thing more shocking then Blake picking Zach (I agree with Blake more than any other coach, but I disagreed with each of his decisions) was that Battle was not montaged. Seriously, just how bad were those montaged Battles that they were possibly worse than that Battle. I have a hard time believing it was worse than Madi vs. Sydney, two of my five favorite Blind Auditions this season. Then you had Ivonne vs. Siahna Im which definitely would have been montaged had Gwen and Blake inexplicably pushed their Steal buttons. That was not even the most head scratching Steal Gwen tried this week as giving Regina Love a second chance was mostly unnecessary, not that any of the other loser were really worthy of one either. Can we please just montage the rest of the Battle Round and go straight to the Knockout Round next week please?

Blindspot: I tune into this show mostly to see Lady Sif beating dudes up but maybe one of the few things more entertaining than that is seeing two dudes in HAZMAT suits trying to beat each other up. My favorite part was hen FBI guy reached for his gun and realized, oh wait, I am wearing a HAZMAT suit. But the more serial aspects of the show got really confusing. Seriously, carbon dating teeth can tell you where someone was born? What? If true, does it make the most sense that Lady Sif's teeth were replaced? And while I am predicting things, Chrissy Seaver's boyfriend has to be evil, right? The boring significant other on conspiracy shows are always evil.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Castle: I saw it coming a mile away because I thought early on that the blind priest was going to be involved, but still, the sight of a "blind" priest runnung away was still hilarious.
You can download Castle.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: My favorite part of the episode was when the went subtitles for the Cockneys. But I had to wonder when Fitz showed up right after that scene why they do not subtitle him too but he is unintelligible at times. I was very disappointed that Simmons did not even bring back a parasite or anything and thought we were going to go through a season of watching her get back to normal like Fitz last season, but thankfully the end credits scene she had a Jack from Lost moment saying we have to go back. It would have been a total waste of a cliffhanger if we never say that planet, or any of it inhabitants again. But why exactly does she want to go back? Is the English guy from the opening of last episode still there? Did she befriend an anthropomorphic duck?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: How disappointing that Abi Maria did not flip alliances for the forth straight episode. I was actually begining to think this may actually be the episode that the tide turned against Abi Maria, but shockingly her name did not come of across anyone's lips (well aside from when Abi Maria reminded Woooooooooooooo not to write her name; classic Abi Maria). Almost as surprising was that everyone played the short game and booted Jeff because Wooooooooooo is better at challenges. I get booting Jeff because he is slippery, but how do you even know you would have another swap before your next challenge? Probst could swap tribes every two weeks until the merge. But before that, that was a boring Reward Challenge. If you are going to only have one person per tribe participate, at least let the other tribes pick who does it. It would have been much more entertaining had it been Abi Maria vs. Cierra, vs. Kimmi bumbling their way threw a challenge instead of three alpha males.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: I like how the alt-rock dude just called out everybody's dirty laundry. Though I was surprised when he met Layla he did not say, oh yeah, you are the reality star with the gay husband, right? Hopefully he sticks around long enough to cover Juliet's latest album in its entirety in the vein of Joy Division.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Again, the show seriously needs a "previously on" package. I remember Pee Wee Herman was on the last season, but I barely remember who he was on the show.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/4/15

Once Upon a Time: Seriously, who brings a baby into a twister bound restaurant to another land? But anyway. I kind of liked the ending even though it probably means for the first part of the season we will probably get split story lines from present day and six months ago.

Ray Donovan: So the pop Armenian singer did not work? Maybe I should have guessed that you should not trust Armenian gangsters to keep their word. I was a bit surprised that the FBI guy did not come back at all, Ray did shoot and left him by the side of the road. Maybe next season. Instead we had to spend too much time with Bridget and her teacher who, yes, crossed the proverbial line, but did not do so with two feet. But they did go back to the priest whose storyline was dropped halfway through the season, but no Arayians who were dropped around the same time. But I am guessing Ray going back to the Lord will not last by the time season four comes around.

Fear the Walking Dead: Wait, are the two step siblings going to hook up. That is kind of ew. And why trash the house, just live there? It is much nicer than the one you are living in and the owners are not coming back. And why do I care more about some silly throwaway scene more than the revelation that they are going to "humanely" kill off the civilian population.

Masters of Sex: Oh wow, Bill gave up on Virginia. So does that mean the Little Brown Man (when Betty first said this I was like "oh my" as I did not know that Little Brown was a publishing house) goes nuclear at the press party telling the press about Bill's legal trouble? It it plausible with how the show does time jumps that Bill could spend some time in prison (like the last two summers I am going to stay away from the spoiler zone that is his Wikipedia page). Then there are the questions of the state of his marriage, whether Virginia marries the scent king, and Bill's legal troubles. It actually may be harder not to look at spoilers this time around.

The Strain: I would not all be disappointed if the show devolved into the Gus and Angel show. It would be better than bring back the rat that sits on Eph's head. And it was a different wig to. I wonder if Corey Stoll burned the anime looking original wig and when it came time for the flashback the costume department just had to grab a random one off the rack. I joked earlier this season that they were not going to kill someone off right after including an opening credits sequence (which aired just that one time randomly) but someone has to die next week, right? With everyone descending on the Luman it is hard to think all the players get out alive. Sadly I think it may be the Nazi Vampire (who would have guessed three years ago I would be sad someone killed a Nazi vampire?).
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Quantico: When I saw the previews I wrote that best case scenario it was going to be Homeland season four; worst case scenario: Homeland season three. After one episode it looks much more like season three. Actually it may be worse, it may be more like some crappy Shonda Rhimes show where absurdly attractive professionals have sex with each other in between twists upon twists even if those twists are extremely obvious or make little to no sense. Really the only twist I liked from the premiere (even though it fell into the makes no sense category) was the Muslim twins. I also do not like the storytelling devise of flashing back to the first days of Quantico mixed with a blown up building. Why not tell a linear story of the first days of the FBI and then blow up the building in the season or mid-season final? But I will continue to watch. And let me go ahead and predict the FBI trainer guy is the one setting up the hot Indian chick. Either him or "Taylor Swift" because it will either be the most obvious or one that makes little to no sense.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: So the big new from the show this week was that Jim Gordon and Leslie Thompkins are having a kid. Well not on the show but the actors are in real life. Alright. I wonder if that will be written into the show or she will be hiding behind medical tables soon or maybe she will be kidnapped in the second half of the season. As for the actual show, so a bunch of cheerleaders are about to be set on fire but no one thought to go out the fire door?
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: The first couple seasons were mostly enjoyable, I made it through the whole season for the first and third seasons (I have to skip the disastrous second season finale). Since then I usually am out sometime around the time the show goes live. I usually fault this on the lack of good singers because in those first three seasons the openly recruited seasoned professionals but since has been more of American Idol type show with mostly armatures (seriously who are there some many teenagers with braces this season?). In the first three seasons there were about twelve different singers on the show who were already in my music library before they auditioned by since that number is one (and she was montaged off the show).

Then this week I was kind of bored again with the same old mediocre teenagers doing boring and bland karaoke versions of songs. And then they introduced another rocker nanny, which we have seen a few times on the show (remember the good old days when Alicia Keys backup singers were the cliche; have we run out of Alicia Keys back up singers?). But then rocker nanny mentioned she used to be in a band called Sleeper Agent. Wait, what? Not only were they in my music library, their song Get Burned was #22 on my list of The 100 Best Songs of 2012. Okay so her Blind Audition was not great, but if she makes it around to the Knockout Round maybe they will actually let her perform Get Burned.

Last week I mentioned how the Blind Auditions bring out some awesome song selections (before devolving into the same overused catalog in the Battle that get more tired the closer to the finale) and this we got first ever songs on the show from Cheap Trick, Mountain, Cameo, Andrew McMahon In the Wilderness, oh yeah, and someone auditioned with the Rollergirl theme song. That was definitely the most random song choice since someone sang The Jeffersons Theme Song.

Blindspot: Well that is and interesting plot that Lady Sif may be someone from the FBI's past (whom his father was accused of kidnapping and murdering). I do fear this may play out like The Blacklist where there was overwhelming evidence that Red is Lizzie's father only for Red to deny it for two seasons. I am guessing the DNA match will come up negative next week but still tease that that is what happen. The show would be much interesting if it turns out FBI guy's dad did actually kidnap Lady Sif and was the one who trained her.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Castle: Wait, what just happened, is Kate leaving the show or are we getting two separate story lines every week, case of the week and Kate looking for the real killers? I mentioned last week offhandedly I would not mind if the show switched into a Veronica Mars, father daughter PI dynamic with Castle and Alexis but I did not actually think it might happen.
You can download Castle.

Marvel's Agents of S.I.E.L.D.: So over their summer vacation Fitz went from brain damaged to Indiana Jones. Alrighty. While I have spent all summer trying to figure out what happened to Gemma and a black hole portal that bends space and time never once crossed my mind. Hopefully the end of this storyline is not as bad as the ending to Intersteller. But anyway. I am not that familiar with Marvel comics so I am not entirely sure where she is and even though cinematic characters rarely show up, I will be slightly disappointed if we do not see one of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Hey, Bradly Cooper has shown willingness to show up on crappy televised versions of his movies. I would even be content with the cosmonaut dog or even Howard the Duck.I was interested in the clock counting down until the Inhumans reach one hundred percent but there are no Marvel movies coming out February 2017 (assuming my math is right) but the next movie after that is the second Guardians movie, not that Gemma will still be around by then (unless this is like the Intersteller water planet where hour equaled like five Earth years). Plus we are still four years away from an Inhumans movie. Speaking of which, the new big bad is effectively scary in a Buffy monster of the week kind of way.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: After thirty season, Survivor has become a well oiled machine that I can recognize every beat that it hits. But that last segment was a weird one. When Varner teased before the break that Shirin and Spencer sealed their fate, I have been conditioned to think either 1) his plan will go horribly wrong or 2) the show will may think think someone is going to flip but ended up towing the line. So when Abi Maria actually told Shirin she was probably going home I though, uh oh, you never tell someone that, now those two will scramble to get someone out. So when they talked to Wooooooooooooo I thought we would get Wooooooooooo saying that maybe he should weigh his option, but no, he shut them down right then. So when they walked to Tribal Council I thought, okay, Abi is going to go full crazy Brazilian chick and get people to turn on them. But no. The dominate alliance did not even mess up splitting the vote. So not only is the show playing with the contestants this season (two twists in the premiere and the promos spoiling another big one next week) they are playing with the viewer's expectations too. And I kind of like it.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: I wonder why they did not kill Deacon's sister last week but I guess they just waited a week.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: This show really needed a previously on package. It is hard enough for me to remember last week let along what happen three or four months ago. But, oh my, blonde Lizzy.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

The Five Most (and Least) Anticipated Question for 2015-16 Television

Tomorrow is the official start of Fall television with all four networks premiering new seasons as well as three new shows including Blindspot which tops my most anticipated list. Of course with a new season comes new questions and these are the five I am most interested in:

1. What exactly is the saturation point for comic book shows? Three years ago Arrow was the lone live action funny book on network television (and that is only if you consider The CW a network). Marvel got into the game two years with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Things exploded last year, both of those shows got a spin-off with The Flash and Agent Carter respectively along with Gotham, iZombie, and the only one that did not make it to a second season Constantine (but as a consolation prize the titular character is showing up on Arrow this season). That does not even include the five Marvel Shows that are planned to air on Netflix (Daredevil being the only one that has been released; Jessica Jones is getting released later this year). The networks have adding a couple more this season with yet another Arrow spinoff Legends of Tomorrow and not officially a spin-off but share the same showrunner so a crossover is possible Supergirl. Then on Fox they are adapting Lucifer coming mid-season.

On cable The Walking Dead has remained the lone comic adaptation despite being the biggest show on all television (okay technically that is a graphic novel if you want to split hairs). But that is about to change too and that is not even count The Walking Dead spin-off that is not based on a print version. AMC is developing a show based on the DC property Preacher (ironically starring two Marvel vets Dominic Cooper, the younger Howard Stark and Raina from SHIELD) while TNT is getting into the game with a live action Teen Titans. While over at Syfy they have two funny books in development including a Superman prequil set on Krypton (which will likely have nothing to do with the CBS show just to make things confusing). And in addition to the Netflix series, Playstation's first scripted show Powers was already renewed for a second season. So that is ten comic book adaptations this season on television, six on streaming sites with three coming soon to cable. Even if you only watch comic books adaptations, that is a lot of television to watch.

2. What happened to Gemma Simmons? Speaking of comic books, the biggest cliff hanger to come from one last season was what became of our favorite biochem scientist? A lot happened in the season finale of Agents of SHIELD, Coulson had his hand cut off, the Inhumans mist thing got turned into fish oil pills, Ward was recruiting his own supervillian team, The Avengers came in and saved the day (okay the last one did not, and will never happen), but I want to know is what happened to Gemma after getting sucked into Kree obelisk? I doubt she is gone from the show and snce the obelisk is supposed to destroy Inhumans I am guessing she come out with a new superpower and possibly a new desire to kill Skye Daisy. Of course being a Joss Whedon show, thoughts of Fred who had her body taken over by a God has also crossed my mind. Whatever it is, I am sure the scientist we knew and loved will be much different this season.

3. Will any new show be as good as Mr. Robot? The surprise hit of the summer was easily Mr. Robot who just owned the conversation on the internet. I certainly did not see it coming as I initally had no interest in another attempt at television for Christian Slater until I learned Dalia Royce was also part of the cast. Can anything premiering this fall garner as much attention? My guess is no. Blindspot will probably be the best new show by how long can a procedural that rips off Memento stay in the conversation. Maybe the best at reaching Mr. Robot type hype on network television could be Quantico which looks like it could at its best be Homeland season four. Granted worst case scenario the show devolves into Homeland season three.

4. How will Continuum end? Continuum was has been one of the quietly good shows on television for the past three years and the best time traveling show since Quantum Leap. Of course it got canceled but not before airing six final fourth season episodes (two of which already aired). Evil minions from a dark future timeline showed up in the season premiere and reeked havoc on Keira. Will she finally be able to back to her time? Is there a time for her to go back to now? It will be a fun ride to see if she does.

5. Will Ash vs. The Evil Dead be any good?: We have been inundated with Heroes Reborn promos for the last couple month leading to most people who watch the original wondering, why? The show was widely reviled with most people saying it went off the rails in the second season (I contend the first season pretty much sucked too aside from the one episode Bryan Fuller scripted). On the flip side there has been little press for a reboot that people have been hankering for decades. I remember seeing Army of Darkness in high school thinking it was the greatest thing ever (I eventually went back to watch the two horror Evil Dead movies but much preferred the campiness of the third movie). Pretty much ever since there have been talks of a fourth movie in the Evil Dead saga. The closest came about a decade ago when there was talks of an Ash vs. Freddy vs. Jason movie after the first two horror legends faced off (there have been a couple of comics and video games). There was also hope when the reboot of Evil Dead (which featured Bruce Campbell in a post credits teaser) was released two years ago with a sequel that would see the two franchises combining with both Campbell and Tessa Altman starring. Instead at Comic Con last year Sam Raimi announced there would be a television show to continue the original Evil Dead to air on Starz best known for... um, well, their aired Party Down foe two seasons a couple years ago. Will it be any good? Well it is written by the Raimi brothers (Sam is directing the first episode) and Bruce is staring. As of there there seems to be no ties to the reboot as there has been no announcement of Tessa Altman's involvement, instead Xena the Warrior Princess is in the cast. Since I do not have Starz I can hear what other people say about it and can temper my expectation whenever I get around to seeing it. But as of now I am hopeful. It certainly has to be better than the the Heroes reboot or the televised versions of Limitless or Minority Report which both look dreadful (though I am a bit hopeful the former is successful enough for someone to greenlight a televised Lucy show as that movie was significantly better than Limitless; Tyra Collett as Lucy).


As the great philosopher Butt-Head once pondered, “If it weren’t for things that sucked, how would we know if something was awesome,” so here are the five least anticipated questions of the new television season.

1. Who is going to win the worst reality show this season? No I am not talking about Dancing with the Has Beens and Never Weres or even the final season of American Karaoke but by far the worst reality show on television this season is the Republican Primaries. Four years ago we had the clown car of candidates where nut jobs like Herman Cain and Michelle Bachmann each got a week a top the polls before everyone realized just how crazy they were and just ended up nomination Mitt Romney, the human robot. Things were supposed to be different this time around after the Republican conducted an autopsy realizing they need to do a better job courting minorities and women after losing to Barack Obama again. Then Donald Trump got into the race by calling Mexican immigrants rapists and mad sexist statements about Megyn Kelly after she asked if he was sexist... and then went to the top of the Republican polls. He called war hero John McCain a loser for being captured... and rose higher. Most recently he insulted the lone woman in the race, Carly Fioarino's looks in a Rolling Stone interview... and still leads. NBC had and do the biggest troll in history by replacing him on The Celebrity Apprentice with an immigrant who fathered an anchor baby.

Or course this is not to say go ahead and pencil in a Democrat for 2016 because their nomination process is in as much chaos, it is just a lot less entertaining. Seriously, is there a more boring scandal than Hilary Clinton's e-mails? It makes Chris Christie's bridge problems look like a scene out of Wolf of Wall Street in comparison. Unfortunately the only other Democrat who decided to run (so far) is Bernie Sanders who just come across as your crazy Jewish uncle. He is just basically the socialist Ron Paul. How depressing we have to root for Joe Biden to get into the race as the best way to avoid a President Trump or Clinton Part Deux and as we learned from Bush, the sequel is always significantly worse than the original.

2. What happened to Becca in the Elevator at the End of Hindsight? After failing at her second chance in the nineties, actually making a bigger mess of it then she did the first time around, Becca rushed to the elevator that flashed her back to the last great decade, Numb starts playing again... and fade to black. Surprisingly VH1 renewed the lowly rated show thus making wonder where the show would go in the second season. Would it go back to present day? Go back even further? Flash forward to the 00's? Then out of nowhere, late last month VH1 sent out a press release saying "nevermind, Hindsight is canceled." What? If they wanted to cancel it outright after the first season, fine, whatever, but you cannot renew it and then renig later. Renewed shows have gotten shortened before and Southland got canned after getting renewed but that was instantly picked up by TNT, this is the first time I remember a renewed show getting canceled outright before (greenlighted shows get canned before making it to air occasionally, most recently the NBC Coach reboot). And to add insult to injury, days after canceling Hindsight, VH1 announced Black Ink Crew: Chicago, maybe the most befuddling decision by a network since The CW dumped Veronica Mars only to announce Farmer Takes a Wife shortly after.

3. Who is dumb enough to hire Carrie Mathison? I know this is a television show and it would be a boring show if Carrie was forced to get a job at the local mall because she could not get a job in defense again but no one has failed upward more than Carrie, not even Lane Kiffin or Ben Silverman. But on the new season of Homeland, Carrie finds herself with a cushy private contractors job in Germany for some millionaire.

4. Will Community be back for season seven? It was only five short years ago since DirecTV started the modern trend of saving lowly rated but beloved franchises. The trend continues this fall after Hulu saved The Mindy Project. But the big news last year was Yahoo Screen was going to get into the scripted forum by saving Community even though it lost yet another castmember when Shirley went to hang out with Matthew Perry (not to mention the Pierce replacement left to costar in the Breaking Bad prequil). New episodes debuted last spring, I watched the first couple the weekend they came out but eventually forgot about it and still have two or three to watch. Yahoo Screen had said they have interest in doing another season (their two other two original comedies have yet to set the internet aflame even though the one with the AT&T girl, Other Space, is kind of, almost watchable) except star Joel McHale has pretty much said they do not have enough money to pay the cast what they expect now that their contracts expire. I am fine with this because I really could not get up watching the show on the interest, seriously Yahoo Screen, if you want to be taken seriously, at least make a Playstation app so I can watch this on my television. Really, just make a crappy Community movie and be done with it.

Did Deacon survive his surgery? The big Nashville cliffhanger left with Deacon's life hanging in the balance in the balance. Did he survive? Of course he did.


Here is everything I plan to watch this fall and when they premiere (and one bonus question: why is there so much television on Mondays and Wednesdays and basically nothing on Thursday?):

Mondays
8:00 - The Big Bang Theory (September 21)
8:00 - Supergirl (premieres at 8:30 on October 26, 8:00 the following week)
8:00 - Gotham (September 21, Fox)
8:00 - Switched at Birth (already started, ABC Family)
8:00 - The Voice (September 21, NBC)
10:00 - Blindspot (September 21, NBC)
10:00 - Castle (September 21, ABC)
10:00 - Legends (November 2, TNT)

Tuesdays
8:00 - The Muppets (September 22, ABC)
9:00 - Marvel's Agents of SHIELD (September 29, ABC)
10:00 - Wicked City (October 27, ABC)

Wednesdays
8:00 - Survivor: Second Chances (September 23, CBS)
8:00 - The Middle (September 23, ABC)
8:30 - The Goldbergs (September 23, ABC)
9:00 - Modern Family (September 23, ABC)
9:30 - Blask'ish (September 23, ABC)
10:00 - Nashville (September 23, ABC)
10:00 - South Park (September 16, Comedy Central)
10:30 - You're the Worst (September 9, FXX)

Thursdays
9:00 - The Blacklist (October 1, NBC)

Fridays
8:00 - Last Man Standing (September 25, ABC)
9:00 - Grimm (October 30, NBC)
11:00 - Continuum (Already Bac, Syfy)

Sundays
8:00 - Once Upon a Time (September 27, ABC)
8:00 - The Librarians (November 1, TNT)
9:00 - Homeland (October 4, Showtime)
9:00 - The Walking Dead (October 11, AMC)
10:00 - Quantico (September 27, ABC)
10:00 - The Affair (October 4, Showtime)

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/19/15

Once Upon a Time: Oh yeah, I forgot Robin Hood was out there somewhere. I also forgot just how boring he is. Maybe the show can turn him into a wolf or something.

Mad Men: Weird that Betty and company showed up in the first scene and were not seen again after that. I audibly groaned when I saw them thinking we were going to have to sit through another boring Betty story line. Instead we got the loathsome Harry who managed to to creep on Megan before the ink on the divorcee papers was even dry, or technically before there was any ink on them at all. Overall a pretty meh episode even if we mostly avoided the Francis clan, it definitely needed more Ken.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Holy Billy Riggins sighting! But why are they wasting his talents on just knocking on the door to a bathroom? He did not even get to run into his sister-in-law. Oh well. So we finally learned how May get her title of The Calvary before taking a desk job until Coulson brought her back into the field. Fine, whatever, But maybe the most interesting part of SHIELD this week was Clarke Gregg Skyping into Jimmy Kimmel Live during a fan Q and A segment to ask any of the Avengers if they ever thought about working on the small screen which was met by deafening silence by the six movie stars. Ouch. Guess none of The Avengers will learn Coulson is not so dead anytime soon.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Justified: For the third time in the series history, the finale episode featured the song No One Gets Out of Harlan Alive. This turned out to be one big red herring because everyone who has been around from the first season was able to get out of Harlan with their heart still beating: Raylan, Boyd, Ava, even Wynn Duffy moved to an undisclosed location presumably to to door to door dog grooming.

Not that it was a satisfying ending. Raylan got in a few more great zingers, the best being, "Try this one" as he kicked a gun to Boyd after admitting he was out of bullets. Then Raylan did get his one last showdown with Boone that even though you knew was coming the moment he stepped on screen did not make it any less epic. Raylan is actually losing his touch because he actually let Boone get a shot off.

As it seems to becoming standard for television shows, we got a "four years later" coda, most surprising being that Raylan did not get the girl (whatever did happen to Jackie Nevada), Ava had a chid of her own and we finally learn why Boyd and Raylan just could not kill each other: they were brothers in arms who just took different paths, and they managed to help each other get out of Harlan alive.

All that is left now is figuring out where the show lands in the Pantheon of all time great television shows. I am ready to call it the best of the first half of this decade. As for all time, the show boasts the all time greatest opening of all time (Raylan giving the crime boss twenty-four hours to leave town and the time is up), one of the greatest antagonist of all time in Mags Bennett (sorry Boyd). Really only two demerits: the drag of the Michael Rappaport season and the flimsy heal turn by Ava, shaking up with her brother-in-law who was more evil than the man she killed. Still, if there were a Television Hall of Fame, you could make an easy argument for Justified in five years.
You can download Justified on iTunes.


Survivor: Blue Collar vs. White Collar. vs. No Collar: I liked how Probst refused to verify the validity of the Hidden Immunity Idol for Mike. Fake Idols are not made on this show enough anymore. Other that, a pretty boring episode as we are in the long decimation of the smaller alliance post merge that happens most seasons. They should really double up those eliminations into one episode when that happens to speed things up. Hopefully the promo for next week was not a red herring and that Mike and the Masshole go after each other (which hopefully results in the Masshole's elimination).
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

The American's: When Martha found out Clark was not who he said he was I thought, well he has to kill her now. With her cracking and about to go home I thought, oh yeah, Clark is taking off his wig so Martha knows exactly who he is before he kills her. Except the episode just faded to black. But she cannot possibly survive the season. And with the season finale next week, someone has to finally take the fall for the bugged pen. Martha death making it look like a suicide because of guilt over betraying her country but I still think Stan may actually going to get caught trying to free Nina that he gets fingered.
The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: Juliet's irrational post pregnancy moods is really the most entertaining she has ever been.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/1/15

The Walking Dead: The biggest problem with the show is that the show is predicated on the character being completely stupid for it to be any good. The smart thing to do in a zombie apocalypse would be to join up with as many living people as possible to beat back the zombie hoards. The smart thing to do back in season one would have been to join forces with the nursing home people, but had they done that, that show would have been extremely boring. So our protagonists are stupid. Which leads us to this week. The smart thing would have been to jump in the camper and ride up to Alexandra and enjoy all the homemade applesauce they would let someone else force down their throats. Instead we get an entire episode of Rick being paranoid when the alternative is that his group starves to death. Of course Rick has every reason to be cautious because the homosexuals will obviously turn out to be evil like every other group they have run into since they opted out of the nursing home: The Governor was a megalomaniac, Terminus was full of cannibals, even the cops in the hospital were basically using slave labor. Now the only question is what demented thing are these Alexandrians in to. Well, besides forcing their children to eat applesauce against their will. That is the evil cult I want to run into when their is a zombie apocalypse.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Gotham: After The Dark Knight trilogy I was hoping for a little more lighthearted Batman adaptation as a follow up. I was not expecting The Brave and the Bold or even Adam West type cheesy fun. If Man of Steel was any indication, Batfleck will be as dour as Christian Bale and the show is not much cheerier. That is why I liked all the silly comedy associated with the Red Hood this week. Unfortunately the mail characters went to darker places this week with Alfred getting stabbed and, oh goodness, why did Fish scoop out her own eye and step on it? When she said their was a option C, how did that be the only thing that crossed her mind? Fish Mooney has quickly moved into Brody territory of why did they not kill them off much earlier then they actually did? Really she is only behind Brody and Otto from Sons of Anarchy (who also lost and eye and was into self mutilation) on that list right now.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Marvel's Agent Carter: It has become Marvel tradition that the final scene is dedicated to some big plot twist or recognizable star making an appearance. I figured that scene for the season finale of Agent Carter would be dedicate to her being the first S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Nope, they went with the more shocking route with the dude from Captain America lurking in the shadows. That will be a formidable big bad team for a potential season two. Instead of waiting until next winter, how about another eight week season this summer?
You can download Marvel's Agent Carter om iTunes.

Justified: Poor Choo-Choo, it did not quite have the Of Mice and Men ending as it teased, but still sad. I thought maybe he would make it when the train stopped but alas, it looks like he is gone. And the plot twist just kept coming, it is clear the Lawnmower Man set up for Boyd to go down that hole, but why? And why exactly did Limehouse sell out Ava?
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Stupid promo monkeys. From the very introduction of Ex-ile in the first episode, we have heard Sarah say, "This changes evvvvvvverything" and they play her saying that basically every week, or very least on every episode. So it was pretty clear she and Jordan would still be around by the time TJ announces the twist to the unsuspecting competitors still around. This lead to little drama in the dome as it was clear Sarah would be back. Speaking of spoilers, the promo for next week really looked like Nany's ponytail making their return inevitable (of course if the show were scripted, then Nany and Bananas would obviously be the ones chosen to get back in the game). But they do have to go through the behemoth that is Zach, but since he just lost a strength based dome, it is very possible.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar: The show is at its best whenever it divides its tribe along specific attributes, well except the age season, that one not surprisingly turned out bad. And the show needs a good season after the disastrous last season when it became how flawed Blood vs. Water was. No one really stuck out as someone to root for, I kind of want to do that for the "hearing advocate" (hey, it is better than coconut vendor and this is the No Collar tribe) but the promo monkeys make it look like she is not long for this game.

One thing that really stuck out to me is how much this season resembles Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty. White Collar are the Brain, Blue Collar are the Brawn, an though they are not all that attractive, No Collar do share some attributes of the Beauty tribe. And just like the previous season, the White Collar are trying way too hard to outsmart each other early like the Brains tribe did. You just cannot take the deceit that early in the game and if you do, you better come up with a better excuse then what they did. Poor So, pretty much was voted out because of it.

Except that was a really dumb play on the White Collar tribe. The move was to vote out Carolyn, first off she seems really annoying, is old, and most importantly has the Hidden Immunity Idol. The two swing guys should had targeted her, if she does not play the Idol, a weak and annoying player is gone; if she does play it, oh well, So goes home and the Idol is flushed out.

Since I see this season playing out like Brains vs. Brawn, vs. Beauty, that means a White Collar will not win because they will try to out think each other, eventually playing themselves out of the game; the No Collar will turn on each other early and often (that love triangle cannot possibly end well); so that mean a Blue Collar wins. I just hope that the Masshole does not turn out to be this season's Tony, so I will predict Mike as the winner.
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

Hindsight: I thought the music supervisor really screwed up when Vanessa Carlton started playing at the beginning of the episode. But they threw a curve and eventually let us know they flashbacked (or forward depending how you look at it) to 2003. Lolly's normal looking hair should have been the hint at the time. Granted later in the episode during the 2003 timeline they did use the nineties Sarah McLachlan classic, so the music survivor did much that up a little.
You can download Hindsight on iTunes.

The Americans: It seems like Philip has ninety-nine problems, and they are all (expletive delete). Two wives and two fifteen year old's. The Jennings have done some pretty morally corrupt acts on the show, but seducing a fifteen year old have to be number one.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: It seems like every week things go from bad to worse for Layla, but shockingly something went her way this week getting signed by Rayna (off of a kind of crappy song, but alas). But then it looks like she already sabotaged that relationship but hiring Rayna's archnemesis Jeff as her manager. Bad move Layla.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: Well that was disappointing. I was kind of hoping that the secret six five alliance would make the wrong decision and Colby would send another one of them home. Oh well.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 2/15/15

2015 Grammy Awards: I had a feeling 2014 was not a very good year for music when I was making my best of the year list and watching this year's Grammy's verified that after seeing Sam Smith and Beck win the top four awards especially considering they were basically the best in very weak fields (well I would have given Haim the Best New Artist Award). But usually in weak musical years, the show can produce great once in a lifetime duets, but all of those fell flat. Really, a week later nothing really stands out to me this year except how boring it was.

The Walking Dead: Hold ghosts of Tyrese past! I have to admit I have enjoyed this season significantly more that the earlier ones, but why oh why had the show killed off its two most entertaining characters in back to back episodes yet Carl is still alive (thee third, Bob literally bit it earlier this season two).
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Oh Spencer, you are a moron. Did she really think that some college hired the dude to make a mural and to do it with spray paint at night? But I really could care less about these girls personal lives, just stick the the overly complex murder mystery of someone who probably is not even dead.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Mavel's Agent Carter: Whoa, they were actually able to catch Peggy, I was a assuming as soon as she went on the lamb she would stay there until she was able to clear her name. And even more shocking it was a kiss from a Russian spy that brought her down. But the most shocking was the Russian scientist ended up being in cahoots with the spy. All this intrige should make for an interesting final two episodes.
You can download Marvel's Agent Carter om iTunes.

Justified: Watching this episode and the previews for next week was a greatest hits of recurring characters past (Loretta McCreary! Dicky Bennett!! Constable Bob!!! Elmore Limehouse!!!!) and that pretty much sums it up because I think the rest are either dead or in jail. Jake Busy is already on the dead list after just one episode with yet another memorable death scene on the show. I laughed through the entire commercial break. But it was nice to see Loretta outsmart Dicky one more time, not that it very hard thing to do.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II: It is time for the annual annoying "To Be Continued" episode. Usually this comes right before the final elimination challenge. So we have to wait a week to see who goes home. But this has been two straight sad challenges. Last week TJ had to admonish all the guys who were too scared to jump out the surfboard contraption challenge and this week half of the teams could not even finish at all and had to institute a mercy rule. Even more sad, Jonna's puzzle was extremely embarrassing (Zach was right to compared it to something a third grader put together which was his second best comment of the evening after his almost correct reference to Of Mice and Men) and Brittany somehow did worse than her.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Hindsight: Of course the show eventually worked in the famous Say Anything boombox scene, but this definitely the first time anyone thought to use KWS as the soundtrack. And it only got better when the batteries ran out.
You can download Hindsight on iTunes.

The Americans: Yawn, another near miss by the FBI. At least there was that bizarre and random scene with Paige finding a picture of their neighbor in a bikini in her brother's room.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: Of course his niece was not a match and his sister does not want to give hers (okay that was a bit of a serve, I just thought she would not be a match), it is beyond obvious that Deacon is going to have to get a new liver from his daughter. I wonder how long they will stretch this until he asks (or more likely she offers).
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: Whoa, Moby really takes his nerd culture seriously. But you have to side with him because it is really stupid for someone to pick a fight with a judge.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.