Best of the Week vol. XLI

Quote of the Week: I saw how you broke out Peaches and Herb. (Al Bundy, Modern Family)

Song of the Week: How Much I Feel – Ambrosia (Castle)

Big News of the Week: Conan to TBS: Here is something no one expected. Since the minute NBC dumped Conan O’Brien everyone assumed that he would end up on Fox no matter if it was a lose-lose situation for both parties (Conan would be third fiddle, maybe even fourth, to Leno, Letterman and possibly Kimmel, while the Fox affiliates would rather air reruns after the news). So Conan heads to basic cable to complete his master plan where expectations will be much lower and his only competition being the combination of John Stewart and Stephan Colbert. Then George Lopez gets a strong lead-in as he gets pushed back to midnight. Not that I care that much because this is all happening well past my bedtime. Though I feel bad for basketball and baseball fans who will be getting inundated with Conan ads throughout this year’s playoffs that air on TNT and TBS respectively.

Free Download of the Week: Planet Earth (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Television Blowout: Up to 52% Off (Friday Night Lights, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica)

Video of the Week: Broken Bells, better known as the dudes from Gnarls Barkley and The Shins, are still testing their songs in front of a focus group of kid. See what the youth of today think of their song Citizan.

Tough Set of Judges


Next Week Pick of the Week: NFL Draft, Thursday, at 7:30 on ESPN: For the first time ever, the NFL is moving to primetime to battle Survivor and NBC’s comedies for its first round of the draft. Second and third rounds will start Friday at 6:30 with the final rounds beginning at 10:00 on Saturday. For those of us with crappy, the NFL draft is like Christmas but us Browns fans can rest in the solace that we did not win two Super Bowls with a serial rapist.

Around the Tubes vol. XLVI

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Beauty and the Briefcase, Pretty Little Liars, Lost Gold of the Dark Ages, Californication, Seduce Me, and Friday Night Lights.

- ABC Family’s latest made for TV movie is airing this Sunday at 8:00. Beauty and the Briefcase stars Hillary Duff (Lizzy McGuire), Matt Dallas (Kyle XY), and Jamie Pressly (Not Another Teen Movie). Below is a preview:

- In other ABC Family news, their latest series is coming in June so look out for more news about Pretty Little Liars coming soon. Until then, here is the key art where the sister from Bionic Woman got smeared with the same smoot that Lady Gaga and Elton John smeared on themselves at the Grammy’s.



- For those that are not under the guise of Hilary Duff may want to tune over to the National Geographic Channel at 9:00 Sunday to watch Lost Gold of the Dark Ages about an amateur metal hunter who stumbled on the largest collection of Anglo-Saxon gold objects ever discovered. Below is a preview or you can head over nationalgeographic.com where you can view and interactive features that lets you inspect the find.



- Fans of Showtime’s Californication can expect Carla Gugino to show up for a bulk of next season episodes. No word yet of when you can see this.

- Isabella Rossellini has a new series called Seduce Me coming to the Sundance channel. For those that cannot wait until May 25 at 9:50 when it premieres over your television, head over to sundance.com starting April 20 to watch it early.

- NBC passed along some banners promoting the new season of Friday Night Lights coming May 7 and here is one to remind you to tune in three weeks from tonight.

Lyrics Quiz: The Way it Is

Happy tax day. And as depressing as the holiday may seem today, it may only get worse when the health care bill goes into effect where it will probably raise our taxes (or at least our premiums, but most likely both). The passage of the bill got me thinking of the Bruce Hornsby record, The Way it Is and if he and The Range were to update the song for today, they may include a couples lines that would go, “They passed a law in 2010 to give to those who ain’t got a lot a little more, but it only goes so far. Unless of course you work for an insurance company who will be able to swim Scrooge McDuck style in money bins because of the law.” So in honor of that, I put The Way it Is into iTunes Genius function and here are twenty-five songs it gave back to me. Looking over the list, it seems like Genius decided to go with a less political playlist but heavy on blue eyed soul. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section or e-mail me. If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them. Now onto the lyric quiz:


1. Money’s a matter. If you’re in it for love, you ain’t gonna get too far.
2. Strangled by the wishes of pater. Hoping for the arms of mater get to me the sooner or later.
3. I must've been a dreamer and I must’ve been someone else and we should’ve been over.
4. Will you meet him on the main line, or will you catch him on the rebound? Will you marry for the money; take a lover in the afternoon?
5. Tam bo li de say de moi ya. Hey Jambo Jumbo. Way to parti o we goin’. Oh, jambali. Tam bo li de say de moi ya. Yeah, Jambo, jumbo.
6. This time you got nothing to lose; you can take it you can leave it, whatever you choose. I won’t hold back anything and I’ll walk away a fool or a king.
7. When you called me up this morning and told me about the new love you found. I said I’m happy for you. I’m really happy for you.
8. We are the children, the last generation. We are the ones they left behind. And I wonder if we are ever gonna change. Living under the fear until nothing else remains.
9. You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.
10. That old dog has chained you up all right. Give you everything you need to live inside a twisted cage, sleep beside in empty rage. I had a dream I was your hero.
11. Lady, morning’s just a moment away and I'm without you once again. You laughed at me, you said you never needed me. I wonder if you need me now.
12. Inside your head, on every beat. And the beat's so loud, deep inside. The pressure's high, just to stay alive.
13. My friends wonder what is wrong with me. Well I'm in a daze from your love, you see I came back to let you know, got a thing for you and I can’t let go.
14. So let the music take your mind. Just release and you will find you’re gonna fly away, glad you’re going my way.
15. When the river was deep, I didn’t falter. When the mountain was high, I still believed. When the valley was low it didn't stop me.
16. Love, like a road that never ends. How it leads me back again to heartache, I’ll never understand.
17. One month ago today I was happy as a lark. But now I go for walks to the movies, maybe the park.
18. I was feeling so bad. I asked my family doctor just what I had. I said doctor, Mr. MD; can you tell me what’s ailing me?
19. Old religions, new generations caught in a struggle about a righteous way. Can’t see the forest for all the frustrations. So many lying, so many dying.
20. My love, there’s only you in my life. (This song actually showed up twice in Genius, name both artists (well four in total))
21. I won’t forget all those things you have told to me. Praise in my heart won't let me forget your love.
22. Now once, I was downhearted, disappointment was my closest friend . But then you came, and it soon departed.
23. You were my toy but I could be the boy you adore if you’d just let me know. Although you’re untrue, I’m attracted tio you all the more. Why do I need you so?
24. You'll see much deeper when you read between the lines ‘cause there's a fire burning in my eyes. Like a thief in the night who can't get enough.
25. She’ll expose you when she snows you off your feet with the crumbs she throws you.

I Want My Music Television vol. LXXIX

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Heartbreak Warfare – John Mayer



Wasn’t there a conceptual video for this song that dropped around the time the album was release that was erased from the internets shortly there afterward? Instead John Mayer gives us a straight forward performance version instead. Yawn. If you are going to do a performance based video, at least give us the live music to go along with it instead of the studio version.


Our Dreams – Method Man, Raekwon, and Ghostface Killah



Ah, yo, The Wu is back and will make you go Boom, Boom like you are Supercat.


Oh My – Gin Wigmore



A couple of songs from Gin Wigmore have found their way on to my iPod and she is in the musical spectrum somewhere in-between Duffy and Amy Winhouse. She may be better at the slower songs, but this one is decent enough.


Tiny Light – Grace Potter and the Nocturnal



Whenever I hear the name Grace Potter I always think of Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby (which is actually about Monica Potter of Parenthood). But anyways. But if I didn’t know better, watching the band in their video you almost expect to find out the they were actually a long lost group from the seventies that used to open up for Fleetwood Mac or The Eagles. And I mean that as a compliment.

Spin-Offs that Need to Happen

When listening to The BS Report with Bill Simmons the other day, he mentioned how Joey essentially ruined the spinoff. And looking back on the decade he seems to be right with a small exception with lame CBS procedurals, and they really don’t count because they are just the same shows in different cities. The problem with Joey is that you don’t give a spinoff to a main cast member, audiences do not like to see someone from an ensemble by themselves, but instead you should give spinoffs to minor random characters. Like in the eighties when they gave shows to Mike Seaver’s gym teacher (R.I.P. Boner Stabone) and Balki’s elevator attendant. So with networks currently creating new shows to make up the Fall schedule, here are some spinoffs of random characters of current shows I would like to see:

Stuart from The Big Bang Theory: In order to keep his comic book store owner, he needs an investor that comes in the form of Will Wheaton who then takes a more involved role than Stuart would like and then hilarity ensues. Throw in a token hot chick (say, Kristin Kreuk who has some recent experience with nerds on Chuck) they hire as a cashier and I would watch every week.

Jack Burton from Chuck: Seriously, why is Gary Cole not on my television every week? And what better way to alleviate that problem than give Sarah Walker’s father his own series as he roams from town to town conning people. There would be plenty of crossover opportunities as Sarah and her dad need each other’s services to help out with their current cases or capers.

How I Met Your Father starring Rachel Bilson: Bringing in Rachel Bilson to be the mother’s roommate seemed like a complete waste. But that doesn’t have to be a wasted opportunity if you give her, and said mother, their own show as they search for love. Bonus in we actually get to meet the mother while How I Met Your Mother can excruciatingly draw out Ted meeting her.

Leslie Arzt from Lost: Yes he blew up into little pieces in season one, but this will be focused on a still together science teaching Artz in sideways land. Of course the show will have to feature Ben Linus as the European History teacher and the school would eventually hire John Locke full time. Then can even have the dude from Ghostbusters return as the antagonist principal. And what the hey, go ahead and have Walt attend the school (which I was surprised we didn’t see in the flashsideways already).

Mama Smash from Friday Night Lights: When Smash went off to college I was still hoping Mama Smash would still find a way onto the show; have her become the school nurse, let her daughter become the water girl, let her have a torrid affair with Tim Riggins, anything that would keep give her screen name, because let’s face it, no one gives a better reaction shot than Mama Smash. Or just give Mama Smash her own show where she moves to be closer to Smash to see him play and she could get a job at the Texas A&M school clinic. And believe me, there are plenty of entertainment that can come from a college clinic.

Dylan from Modern Family: In classic 80’s fashion, give a spin off to the breakout fringe character where we get to see Dylan and the Rusty Zippers chase fame and stardom. They could even get some mentoring from Izzy LaFontaine, the bassist of Spandau Ballet.



P.S. Bonus points for anyone who can name the shows that featured Mike Seaver’s gym teacher and Balki’s elevator attendant.

Previewing Africa's Lost Eden

We all know the story of Noah and his ark, but have you ever wondered where he landed after the thirty days of rain? Many believe that he finally docked in Mozambique with its numerous wild animals and over five hundred bird that habitat the lush floodplains in the middle of the country. Unfortunately the civil war has ravaged the wildlife there with thousands of zebras, buffalo, hippos, and elephants have been slaughtered for food or ivory tusks with some animals down to the double digits in the Gorongosa Wildlife Park.

Now conservationists are trying to revitalize the park by relocating overpopulated elephants and hippos from South Africa in the farthest by land transport of the creature (sorry, no real life version of Operation Dumbo Drop). Making matters worse, a drought has turning in the local river into just a patch of mud for the crocodiles (the lone animal that hasn’t been depleted by the war) to burrow into. If there is one drawback to the special, it would look awesome in high-def, but new Nat Geo Wild, where Africa’s Lost Eden airs tonight at 10:00, does not have an HD channel yet (orat least it isn’t offered in my area). Check out a preview below:

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CXXV

Tool Academy: Another anticlimactic season finale from the show. They really need to figure how to make the last episode more interesting. And the whole marriage onsite is gone too. You can stream recent episodes over at vh1.com. You can also download Tool Academy on iTunes.

Chuck: I really do not understand why one of Casey’s conditions to giving over the director of The Ring was to deputize Morgan. Does Casey not realize he will be the one who has to deal with Morgan? Morgan going on missions really doesn’t get me that excited for the rest of the season. Here is hoping he gets hit in some crossfire. But at least we got rid of Superman. And I never got his endgame, if he was going to kill Sarah in retaliation for his wife, why not do it in the warehouse, or when they were in the The Ring headquarters? Why fly all the way to Paris? Just for the symbolism of killing her where Sarah shot his wife? All it did was extend the episode thirty minutes more than it should have. At least Casey taking down The Ring in the background was pretty cool. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

Castle: Aw, curses. Even though I loved how the gang rigged thing to break around Castle to make him think he was under it. Fun times. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes. Also be sure to check out my chat with Stana Katic.

Lost: I really hope they were not insinuating what I think they were insinuation, that the flashsideways are all happening inside Desmond’s brain. That would be autistic kid looking at a snow globe lame. And if this is some mindjumping by Desmond, isn’t Penny his constant? If so, why did he not leap back until he met Penny? And speaking of Penny, who is her mother? Is there a Mrs. Milton out there somewhere? She seems a little older than the scientist formally known as Faraday, did Charles cheat on Eloise? Did they meet just after she was born? Is this a Time Traveler’s Wife situation? But of course, the time for questions is over! You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Justified: I am not sure who was more entertaining, the moron girlfriend, or the moron driver. Wait, definitely the driver simply because Raylan gave him the option to drop his gun or use it and he made the wrong decision. And that was just after his Raylan told his buddy that he would shoot him if he took one more step, only to take another shot. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains: Considering it was a lackluster episode, they should have cut five minutes and just made the promo featuring the dumbest moments that much longer, granted they forgot this season’s own Tyson blunder that got him voted off. Or could we just get a full special devoted to dumb Survivor moments? Although I sure hope JT doesn’t join that list by giving Russell the hidden immunity idol. That makes no sense. Even if you think there is an all girl alliance, if the Heroes lose the immunity challenge (assuming there is no merge), he would safe. And if they win, they would have even numbers, and if they merge after that, they could use the idol to break a potential tie. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.