Monday, August 18, 2014

Previewing Dallas: The Second Half of Season Three



It is rare when I am truly shocked by a television show these days, but there was my jaw on the floor when Pamela surprised JR Jr. and Emma in their hotel room only to ask the party, not interrupt it. Things made a little more sense when Pamela started convulsing and it became clear she was overdosing and possibly wanted to implicate the adulterers. Hers was not the only life in the balance when Dallas went on hiatus back in the spring when a more tried and true soap opera cliffhanger of a fire left many under the roof in peril (as well as those that went in to save them) as well as leaving us with the question who started the fire.

Dallas returns tonight to finish off the last seven episodes of season three and though I cannot say who started the fire (other than the fact I can declare with complete certainty that it was not Billy Joel) I can say that by the end of the hour you will know who started the fire. There is even a flashback to confirm what exactly happened that started the blaze. And though I cannot say who it is, I can also say one person who was alive at the start of the last episode will no longer be breathing at the end of tonight's episode (okay, I can also confirm that this is not Billy Joel either).

Though the fire and Pamella's overdose were the bi cliffhanger from the last episode, there were a couple of little plots from the last episode that will shake up Southfork. There was the kiss between Ryland and Ann (which Judith saw, fact she will no doubt use to her advantage). Emma was banned from Southfork (granted no one will be living there was a while). There is the ranch hand's wife Christopher is hooking up with and is a prime suspect to be the arsonist. Then again Drew Ramos is still n the loose somewhere. Though most of tonight's episode takes place at the hospital, we do learn more about just why Nicolas is so ken to take over Ewing Global, and it is not just about helping Elena.

Dallas airs Mondays at 9:00 on TNT.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Previewing Wicked Tuna: North vs. South


When I first reviewed Wicked Tuna the majority of the post focused on my dislike of the city of Boston and how their accent boils my skin. The only thing that rivals my hatred of Boston is the enjoyment I get when I can watch them lose (unfortunately member of the city are prone to cheating leading numerous tainted championships in the past decade or so). Since the majority of the city's population are doushebags (or as they are commonly refereed to:massholes) I was not at all surprised when Wicked Tuna announced a spin-off where the massholes from the original series would sail south after the season on Boston was over to invade North Carolina to loot the tuna from local fishermen.

Wicked Tuna: North vs. South opens up with us getting to know the local fishermen , three boats that features one with a crazy first mate, another with a pair of brothers, and a third with a religious captain. But not long after the introduction they spot two rouge ships off in the distance a pair of boats that sailed down from Gloucester, Mass: the Hot Tuna lead by TJ Ott and Captain Dave Marciano of the Hard Merchandise (Tyler McLaughlin will complete the northern aggression when the Pin Wheel finally arrives in the second episode of the season). Making the invasion even worse have two more boats to fight fish for, North Carolina has a twenty-three ton yearly quota, which comes out to about two hundred bluefins.

Of course the massholes are on foreign turf and will have to learn a different way to reel in their catch. Back home they would sit in one spot waiting for a bite, but in southern waters the best way to catch a fish is greensticking, where you use an artificial squid on a thirty-foot pole in hopes to entice the bluefins to the surface. Then again the Boston guys will probably fin a way to cheat before the quota is filled.Here is hoping that when the twenty-third ton is reeled in, the south finally rises again, at least in the waters of North Carolina.

Wicked Tuna: North vs. South airs Sundays at 10:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

57 Channels and Only This Is On:8/16/14


Ray Donovan: Kate is not actually going to believe that story? She seems too smart to believe that those three would come together and finally come clean. I have a feeling she is going to dig deeper into Sully's girlfriend before she is done with her story. And it looks like my Cochran is into wife swapping theory is going to be right even though they came just short of confirming that this week.

Masters of Sex: Oh snap, Virginia just completely put Bill in his place multiple times in the span of minutes. Libby could learn a lot from her because she failed miserably putting Coral's boyfriend in his place. And poor pretzel king, first his wife cannot give him a child, and this week we learn she is a lesbian, though unbeknownst to him yet. I wonder if he will ever find out or if Betty can keep her under wrap.

The Strain:Of course the Master vampire dates back to the Nazi. Television shows and movie rewrite that bit of history a little too often to make the bad guys look even more bad. But hey, at least we got some more vampire killing again this week. I am guessing the lead singer is up next. Now the question is when is the exterminator going to join the vampire hunters beause you know that is going to happen eventually.

Switched at Birth: So the big social episode of the episode was chicks wears tuxidos to prom?  Alightly.  I am with the school on this one.  Daphne finally gets her intervention but still gets one more bit of self destruction in before she realized she had gone off the deep end. It looks like rock bottom is going to follow and maybe we will get the Daphne in jail season that I thought might happen when she got caught blackmailing a State Senator.

Murder in the First: Say what you will about the show, but they definitely took a much different path than other season long murder mysteries. When the season began, Eric Blunt was the biggest suspect for both murders which may me think there was no way he did it (I was convince d that the perp would turn out to be Steven Weber in my the bigger star always does it in crime drama theory). But the show never did offer up any real red herrings so Eric Blunt was the only real suspect all season. Like every single mystery series before it, I am not sure it really work, but It was definitely an interesting try.

Under the Dome I did not really think Uncle Sam was dead and was convinced that the hole went somewhere after Barbie fell in, the only question was where it went. Apparently we did not have to wait long, it goes outside. The bigger question is how does Barbie get back in the dome because I am guessing that happens instead of the more obvious Barbie telling everyone jump in the whole because there would be no show if that happened.. Granted maybe that should be the case and end the snow there because it ran its course a long time ago.

Pretty Little Liars: Can they just give Hanna her own show at this point because she is the only interesting part of the show anymore. Or at the very least have someone really kidnap Allison because she is really sucking the life out of the show since she has come back.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Previewing Legends


After the out of the box success of Homeland, producer Howard Gordon became a hot commodity, even if it came at the cost of the show that put him on the map (season two of Homeland was a step back in quality while season three fell off the cliff). Now the shows he was able to sell after that success are finally hitting the small screen. FX won a highly contested bidding war for Tyrant which premiered about a month ago to a resounding meh by critics. Another highly coveted property, Legends premieres tonight on TNT.

When I first saw the previews for Legends my first thought was, "Great, this will essentially be a prequel to Taken where we learn just how Liam Neeson got his very particular set of skills with Ned Stark as Neeson." Okay technically the show is based on the award winning spy novels by Robert Littell. In his iteration, Ned reattaches his head to his neck to play Martin Odum, a undercover agent for the FBI's Deep Cover Operations (or DCO). And like every good law enforcement story, he is the best at what he does and is a loose cannon.

This of course means he butts heads with his team leader Ali Larter (Varsity Blues with who he has a storied past with . Their commanding officer Steve Harris (Justified) is a little more tolerant to Stark because he does get the job done. Their team is rounded out by new to the team Tina Majorino (Veronica Mars) who provides tech support, Amber Valletta (Revenge) also pops up as Stark's ex-wife but unless their kid gets kidnapped by Albanians and sold into the sex trade, I do not really care about that storyline.

Legends stars off with Odum deep undercover, off the grid for six months as he infiltrates a militia group thought to bomb a Wichita building and looking for bigger targets. Though it looks like Legends will primarily be a procedural (and a much better one than the last deep cover show TNT put on, Dark Blue) do not expect every episode to wrap up in a nice bow with each case closed in an hours time. The second episode abruptly ends just as Martin morphs into Dante Auerbach, a "Lord of War" who hopes to locate a Russian refugee kidnapped by Russian seperitists to make him build a bomb somewhere in Los Angeles.

More interesting than the procedural aspect is when Odum is attacks by a homeless man that tells him that Martin Odum is also a Legend just like Dante and Lincoln Dittmann, the unemployed construction worker who joined the militia. As death surrounded people connected to the homeless man, it becomes clear that this is not just the rantings of a crazy person. The death also piques the interest of Morris Chestnut (Boyz in the Hood) another FBI agent in a different department tasked with investigating the homeless man's death .

Of the two new Gordan projects, Legends is the better watch because Sean Bean is a vastly more interesting lead and this show actually seems like it knows where it is going (being based on a book probably helps). This show also seems to have a small bit of a sence a humor whir is vastly missing in Gordan's other two shows, there is a scene tonight in a strip club which particularly made me chuckle. Though the long term enjoyment of Legends depends on just where they are going with what Martin learns from the homeless man. Gordan once said of Homeland that you can no longer shock audiences with plot twists, you can only shock them with when you do them. I am guessing we not learn Martin Odum's true identity until the end of the season. Hopefully Gordon shocks me with when that actually happens.

Legends airs Wednesdays at 9:00 on TNT.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Previewing Franklin and Bash: Season Four


It seems like just last year I was calling Heather Locklear a television show fixer, someone brought in to help a struggling franchise.  Well, she is gone from the new season of Franklin and Bash.  She is not the only ones, as the new season starts, Carmen and Pindar are no longer employed by Infold-Daniels.  Technically neither is Carp, but that actor is returning to the series.

Which frees up some room for some new characters.  First up is a new creepy private investigator who also seems to know his way around a computer just in case the boys need Pindar-type assistance.  Also new is a fresh out of college lawyer who is extremely overeager to get first chair courtroom experience.

Cast overhaul aside, the draw to the show has always been the wacky court cases and the wacky antics of the titular characters.  Up first tonight is an archeology who does not care for Indiana Jones (of course the only one he likes is Crystal Skull).  Of course Stanton Infeld is still lurking around and had his lawyer licence revoke which seems to be a seasonal occurrence on the show.  This leads to some cash flow issues that naturally Franklin and Bash think outside the box ways to solve.

Franklin and Bash airs Wednesdays at 10:00 on TNT.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 8/10/14


Ray Donovan: It looks like we may have finally learned Cochran's vice, and, umm... does that mean his "Scrabble" parties are actually swinger's parties?  I really could not tell if the chick he groped was fazed or not.  If not, that lends to my swinger theory.  I also figured that Ray would bed the reporter eventually, just not after one episode.  Interesting that he would intercept her from meeting with Mickey knowing her life would be in danger if she really learned what went down on the docks the night Sully died.

The Last Ship:  Did no one really not think to have the captain disguise his voice or let a female talk on the com just in case the Russians were listening?  I have when I am much smarter that characters that are supposed to be the smartest people in the room.  But then again, just how smart am I for watching a Michael Bay show?

Masters of Sex:  I am glad I did not look up the William Masters biography in between seasons because I was extremely shocked that he ended up punching out his boss and then ended up at a black hospital.  Makes me wonder if his nanny will somehow end up in his study now.  You know Bill wants to know if races react differently to sex.

The Strain:  A couple years ago, it seemed like every show had someone getting eletroshock theraphy, this year it is vampire autopsy.  And this one ended up being grosser than the one on Penny Dreadful.  You would think that after seeing just how long that biting thing was, they would not enter a house where another suspected infected person was without a way to block it.  Well at least the CDC seems to finally be teaming up with the old vampire slayer.  Though my favorite part may be the vampire in the shed (how very Shawn of the Dead) and the wife willing to feed the annoying neighbors to him.
 
Falling Skies:  So Lexi spends all that time in the cocoon and come out virtually unchanged (except appently for her eyes which I would not have noticed had it not been brought up), well at least physically.  She is apparently telekinetic now.

Switched at Birth:  Wow, out of control Daphne went dark this week.  C'mon, you cannot try to make out with Travis on the Ferris Wheel.  I am guessing a mother / daughter trip to AA will be coming sooner than later this season.

Pretty Little Liars:  Well at least drunk Hanna is still entertaining.  Granted she has not gotten into cocaine yet like Daphne.  But the big new is that my lesbian Swimf@n dream may actually be coming to fruition.  Though it is unclear if the new girl likes Emily or like likes her.  But unsurprisingly we did learn she has a sordid past and of course it involves Jenna.

Thursday, August 07, 2014

Previewing 7 Deadly Sins


Everyone knows that one guy who takes everything too far just to make a point.  Morgar Spurlock is just that guy.  We first met him with Super Size Me where he ate McDonalds every day and if the cashier asked if he wanted that supersized he had to say yes.  He continued this the full thirty days even when his doctor said it could have a lasting effect, even death (his wife was less than thrilled too).

Superlock would then expand that thirty day idea for an FX series where he lived on minimum wage for a month and worked in coal mine (other people took on tasks for the other episodes).  He would also be that annoying guy for documentaries where he tried to find Osama bin Laden and highlighted how saturated we are with advertising for The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (presented by POM Wonderful who paid a million dollars to get their name in the title.  Morgan also followed around somethings called bronies and One Direction.

Morgan Spurlock returns to the small screen tonight with 7 Deadly Sins.  Sure Super Size Me would make for an interesting episode for "gluttony" but Spurlock is not spending thirty days indulging in every sin (I am not sure if I wanted to know what he would have done for Lust).  Instead he is playing more of an Alfred Hitchcock role presenting every sin and introducing us to people that embrace each sin across the seven episode.

Tonight, of course starts off with the sin we know Morgan is very well versed in, Gluttony where we meet the owner of the Heart Attack Grill and it patrons, one of which had a triple bypass after eating a Triple Bypass Burger (a half pound of beef for each bypass, onions and a not so special sauce: it is chili).  At least he had the decency of heaving his heart attack at home, two people have had one right at the dining establishment.  Then we meet Darling Nikki, a seven hundred pound webcam model and her boyfriend.  We also meet what may be her fate in the form of coffin makers for the morbidly obsese.  Hearing what is done to you after death just may keep you out of the Heart Attack Grill.  And before you think about it as an alternative, cremation of the morbidly obsess may be even more disturbing.

Next week is Lust where we meet men who desperately want to be women (but may not have the money or nerve to go all the way) make themselves into living dolls and the people who make the full body suits.  There is also who identifies as being crippled and moves around in a wheelchair instead of his two able legs.  Lust of course heads to a brothel, an old folks home, and a female self pleasuring maker who specializes in, oh goodness, I cannot even bring myself to type how he makes his items.  I will say I was surpised to learn this is legal and PETA should get involved to get it outlawed.  But it is clear that there are plenty of people out there that can keep 7 Deadly Sins on the air for years to come.

7 Deadly Sins airs Thursdays at 11:00 on Showtime.