Showing posts with label Ariana Grande. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ariana Grande. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 08, 2017

I Want My Music Television: 3/8/17



Green Light - Lorde


My first impression when listening to the new Lorde song was, good, it sounds like she is not just making Pure Heroine 2.0. But on further listening, I am beginning to realize it may be too glossy. The rawness is what made her first album great. I think we have Jack Abramoff to thank, he of Fun and also produced Out of the Woods, the most bland of Taylor Swift’s single. I am still cautiously optimistic for the new album.


That's What I Like - Bruno Mars


Bruno Mars said he wanted his new album to sound like the RnB heavy middle school dances he went to in the nineties. I did not think he quite hit his goal, except his latest video does look very nineties.


Beauty and the Beast – John Legend and Ariana Grande


Remakes are universally reviled by the internet but they keep happening because for some reason people in the real world keep seeing them. One of the worse remakes ever did not happen on the silver screen but was a musical remake: We Are the World 25. Seriously, Michael Jackson headlined the orginal. The biggest name in the remake was Lil’ Wayne. I think The Pussycat Dolls were involved too. Just a huge embarrassment. But where the eighties version featured a murders row of future first ballot Hall of Famers, in the new millennium, there just are not any superstar singers anymore. Taylor Swift. Adele. That is it. That is the list. Basically every other modern day singer would be happy to be Kim Carnes level of successful today. Now I will not call the Ariana Grande / John Legend remake as bad as the We Are the World Remake but it is weird that Ariana Grande is the best they can get to replace Celine Dion. I guess Legend is an upgrade for Peabo Bryson. But I fear the Sean Mendez version of Circle of Life for the upcoming Lion King Remake.


No Lives Matter - Body Count


Nothing more annoying when both sides of the political divide fight over stupid thing (case in point: who the fork cares where people go to the bathroom). Now police violence against unarmed black man is important, but the fighting over the “(insert subsection here) lives matter” got way out of control. Leave it to Ice-T, (you know, the guy from the lemonade television commercial) and No Lives Matter - Body Count to tell it like it is, that in actuality, No Lives Matter.


Tuesday, February 28, 2017

I Want My Music Television: 2/28/17



Chained To the Rhythm - Katy Perry featuring Skip Marley


Katy Perry makes annoyingly cheery pop music so it was weird that her Grammy performance of this song was kind of dire (even weirder was her Kristy Swanson in Higher Learning hairstyle). Then for the video she goes even more over the top cheery than usual for her. I guess there is supposed to be a deeper message but the problem is Katy Perry is not at good at all at be subtle.


Love - Lana Del Rey


Speaking of unusually cheery, so that is what Lana Del Rey looks like when she smiles? Okay, they real reason I am bringing her up was because “Lana Del Rey Joins Effort to Defeat Trump with Witchcraft” is the weirdest headline I read all week, and this is in a week when the saga of Kim Jung Nam got weirder by the day.


Everyday - Ariana Grande featuring Future


When people started making out on the roof of a car in front of Ariana Grande, I thought, um… what? By the time we get to the laundromat, I got it. I laughed at the office sex. But I draw the line at old people making out. I think th blonde next to them speaks for everyone.


Reverend - Kings of Leon


Oh no, Kings of Leon are giving me really bad Under the Dome flashback which also featured random hot chicks finding an egg in the woods. I hope that was not intentional.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

I Want My Music Television: 9/13/16




Side To Side - Ariana Grande feat. Nicki Minaj


I have not watched the VMA’s since… oh my, it is been a while, I think the Frank Ocean year was the last one. But I did notice most of the performances made it on the YouTube legally I think for the first time (I have never understand why the live performance rarely pop up on iTunes to buy, but I guess this is why the music industry is on life support). Not that I had any interest in any of them beside Ariana Grande. I wondered why she was she was in some spin cycle class until the actual music video dropped the next day with its Olivia Newton-John inspired theme (though I wish they gone full homage and had the fat guys training with her). But much like every Grande song, a guest comes along and ruins what otherwise is cheesy fun.


City Lights – The White Stripes


Michel Gondry directed the Lego inspired video that put The White Stripes on the map so it is apropos that he directed what very likely will be the last video from the group (barring a new album in support of a big buck reunion tour in twenty years). The song is from a new collection of unreleased acoustics songs spanning Jack White’s entire career.


Nobody Speak - DJ Shadow feat. Run the Jewels


Holy DJ Shadow sighting! Who would have guess that guy would put out a great track in 2016? And I am guessing the video is what our government will look like after Premier Trump is sworn in. Seriously, Donald Trump just recently said Hilary Clinton slandering people was disqualifying. Seriously, Trump is mad at someone else for slander!?! And why I am being political, so the nut job wing of the Trump party keeps hammering Clinton health. That may actually get me to vote for her because if you are telling me she may not make it to her inauguration? Great, I would much rather have President Tim Kaine than Clinton or Trump.


Run – Bell Biv DeVoe


Speaking of artists not seen since the nineties, holy Bell Biv DeVoe sighting!!!!!! Seriously, BBD was the favorite group of the thirteen year old version of myself.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

I Want My Music Television: 5/31/16



Into You – Ariana Grande


I pretty much trashed the new Ariana Grande album last week, but I will say this is one of the least bad songs off the album. It helps that it just her and not one of those embarrassingly bad guests she had on the album. The video reminds me of like a less drug filled version of Rihanna’s We Found Love video; that may even be the same dude. But that pretty much sums up her career, despite naming her album Dangerous Woman, Grande comes off like a less dangerous version of Rihanna.


Lake By the Ocean – Maxwell


Cake by the Ocean was one of the songs that you hear and go meh, and move on. Except that it starts getting more and more airplay and the more you hear it, the more you hate it to the point where I see Maxwell has a new song out called the similarly titled Lake By the Ocean and my first thought was ugg. Which is a shame because it actually is a good song that should go in the Babymaking Playlist, but man, I really hate that Cake By the Ocean song.


Spiral – Eric Clapton


Kind of a cool concept for a music video for a song entitled Spiral but the problem is that Eric Clapton does not really have any distinctive visual periods. I would call myself a fan, but I really could not name the corresponding period to each picture in the video.


Hell No – Ingrid Michaelson


I have never done a list of the worst music videos of the year list, but if I did, Ingrid Michaelson’s social media filter themed video would definitely be number one. There is nothing more annoying than scrolling through Instagram and your feed is flooded hot chicks using whatever the new annoying filter is. (Um, not that I have an Instagram account solely devoted to following hot chicks or anything.)


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

I Want My Music Television: 5/24/15


Send My Love (To Your New Lover) - Adele


Adele gets a bad rap for being too boring, it is probably because she is the biggest artist right now and people would rather have the biggest artist on the planet be a bit more exciting but hey, she is better than when Katy Perry or Lady Gaga wore that crown. Okay, Adele’s music video can be described as boring. The new one is just Adele standing in one spot and after realizing she is no D’Angelo, they thought, maybe we should just layer other takes over the first one.


Up&Up – Coldplay


Well that was one trippy Coldplay video.


In Common - Alicia Keys


After soft sales of her last album (granted I liked it), it sounds like Alicia Keys is jumping on the Caribbean dance trend that is going on right now that I am already ready to end. And those double jointed people are freaking me out.


Let Me Love You – Ariana Grande featuring Lil Wayne


Ariana Grande’s last album was just cheesy fun, but her latest, oh goodness, it is just pure hot trash. She just spent too much time trying to make everyone think she is an adult even though she still could pass as fourteen. And somehow the guests are even worse: Future, Nicki Minaj, and uggg, Lil Wayne shows up on this track which is one of the more annoying. Oh, Ariana, please go back to being cheesy because you just cannot pull off being some grown up sexpot.

Monday, April 04, 2016

I Want My Music Television: 4/4/16



Dangerous Woman – Ariana Grande


Ariana Grande is just cheesy fun but I really do not like it when she tries to be sexy because it just comes across as a middle schooler playing dress up.


Kiss it Better – Rihanna


Now for an actual dangerous woman who does not need to try to be sexy. And for the second video in a row, Rihanna opts for the see-through clothing which actually leaves even less to the imagination than the Work video.


Real People – Ice Cube and Common


Who would have guessed in the early nineties that Ice Cube would be on the same track as Common? And the track would come a quarter century after they both started for a crappy movie, and the song actually does not suck?


I Need Never Get Old – Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats


Aw, studio hijinks from Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats. And since they bring it up, I kind of wish the song actually had cowbell.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

I Want My Music Television: Cheesy Pop Songs Edition



We may be living in the greatest era for cheesy entertainment since the heyday in the eighties. On television, Supergirl is pure cheesy fun and The Librarians is not far behind (and word on the street is they are rebooting the cheesy eighties classic Greatest American Hero). Then on the radio music is fun again. Here are four songs that I am not so secretly jamming out to in the shower.


Focus - Ariana Grande


Leading the new era of cheesiness is Ariana Grande. I know I should hate everything she does, but I cannot stop listening to her music (well that is until her duet partners start rapping, she has done some horrible collaborations). Sure her new single Focus is just a Problem retreat except instead of someone whispering the chorus there is some annoying fake Mystikal dude shouting it. But hey, there is no Iggy Azalea to completely ruin the song. Where the song may be lacking, the video is golden cheesy. There is maybe the least sensual lip licking ever filmed and whenever Ariana tries to dance it is never not entertaining.

Stand By You - Rachel Platten


Ariana Grande may had made a last second pitch, but the cheesiest great song of the year will likely go to Rachel Platten's Fight Song (of course it was used to perfection in the Supergirl trailer). The follow up may not be as great (it kind of rips of the stacatto piano notes in the chorus that Katy Perry's Roar ripped off from Sara Bareilles's Brave), but that does not mean I was not singing along by the second listen.

Your Type - Carly Rae Jepsen


When historians look back and try to figure out when pop music when from the annoying Katy Perry / Lady Gaga / Ke$ha era to the current annoyingly catchy era, most will probably point to Taylor Swift but I would argue it was the release of Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen. She followed that up with I Really Really Really Really Really Like You which was somehow more annoying and more cheesy than her first hit. But here is the thing, the rest of her new album is kind of, sort of, almost... not bad. And Your Type may be my favorite in a cheesy version of Chvrches kind of way. Just do not ask me what the weird trashy Cinderella music video is about.

Same Old Love - Selena Gomez


Back during the dark ages when Katy Perry was ruling the pop world, Selena Gomez was actually making some fun and cheesy pop-rock songs with her band The Scene. Last album she went solo and recorded a bunch of half baked Rihanna leftovers. Her new album was a little better, though the first single Good For You came across as an overly sexualized version of a Lorde song. The best song off the album is this one even if it songs like a Charli XCX leftover (because basically it is, Charli XCX wrote it). Still, I wished she would get back to her cheesy pop-rock roots.

Monday, February 23, 2015

I Want My Music Television: 2/23/15



One Last Time - Ariana Grande


Admission time: I kind of actually like Ariana Grande. One giant drawback is that everyone she collaborates with pretty much sucks massively sans The Weeknd, but I still think that song would be better without him. Finally Grande has released a song without any features as a single (I may have went with Why Try instead). Much like the song, the video is cheesy fun even if I am not entirely sure if that was the director's intention. Speaking of the director who is credited as Max Landis, is he at all related to John Landis, director of possibly the most famous music video of all time: Thiller?

Time Machine - Ingrid Michaelson


Sure Fiona Apple and Zach Galifianakis pretty much did this exact video and did it better a couple years ago (and there are three people in the video I do not even recognize; the dude on the beach and the golfers), but Ingrid Michaelson's indignation every time someone starts singing in her place is still pretty entertaining.

Irresistible - Fall Out Boy


Speaking of video concepts that were done earlier and better, the new Fall Out Boy video reminds me of Hootie and the Blowfish's Only Wanna Be With You but with the ESPN anchors.

Black Bat Licorice - Jack White


Jack White has been making novelty vinyls for years not it is surprising he has not made a novelty music video until now where Black Bat Licorice is three interactive music videos in one which you can watch over at JackWhiteIII.com. Since that is not embeddable, I though I would share this live performance of the song featuring Q-Tip. Yes you read that right.

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

I Want My Music Television: 6/3/14



There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Problem – Ariana Grande featuring Iggy Azalea


When I first saw Ariana Grande, I thought it was a Rebecca Black situation. Not that she was horrible, The Way was pleasurable in a guilty kind of way, but the video looked like mommy and daddy put their 401K into it while Ariana had a creepy dead behind the eyes stare to her and just looked uncomfortable the whole time. It turned out Grande is a real thing, and apparently a kiddie television star despite looking like she had never been in front of a camera for The Way. With her next hit Problem instantly going to number one, she is apparently turning out to be the next big thing. Yeah the new song is also moderately catchy (though I could have done without the rap, sure the Fancy video is kinda of awesome but can we please keep Iggy Azalea from becoming a thing please) still her visuals are uncomfortable. For the music video, she broke out the same awkward middle school talent show routine that was met with a resounding, “Huh?!?” from Blake Shelton and Luke Bryan at whatever award show that was. I know the modern pop star has to front and center in everything they do, but Ariana should really consider pulling a Pearl Jam and just stop making music videos for a while, or at the very least do what George Michael did and just fill your video with supermodels.


Talk (Expletive Deleted), Get Shot – Body Count


People have been throwing dirt on rock as a genre for a while now (myself included) but The Black Keys and Jack White have been putting out great music (even if they will not admit it about the other act) and racking up awards, just last week Coldplay had the biggest album debut of the year. So rock may be on life support, but it still has a pulse. Now heavy metal, that genre has been dead for a while now. Seriously, when was the last time you heard a good heavy metal song? There is probably why you rarely see any act from the past decade or two on That Metal Show. So when Ice-T debuted the new Body Count song on his Final Level Podcast (which comes highly recommended from me), I figured that I would listen to about thirty seconds and then fast forward to Ice talking Dungeons and Dragons again. Except the song actually turned out to be legitimately good. And I not just saying that because I fear the title may come to fruition if I did not like it. And the music video is just as entertaining as a more violet version of the plotline of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. (Fun fact: the I got the (Expletive Deleted) idea from this movie).


Simplethings – Miguel


There comes a time in every singer’s career when it is time to roll around on the beach with an absurdly attractive model in black and white. Everyone can thank Chris Isaak for that. So why is Miguel ending the music video right where should be starting. Is he saving that for his own personal collection?


Bridges - Broods


It seems like every month this year I am posting a new video for Bridges. The last one was the “international version” and this is apparently the “American version.” And much like Lorde’s Royals which the US version has 500% more Lorde, the US version of Bridges actually features Broods frolicking in what looks to be a clothing advertisement geared at teenage girls. Sadly that is how you sell new artists stateside.