Super Bowl Shuffle 2016

We have had a very long stretch of competitive football games for the past decade and a half and though the game was withing ten points for most of the game that was extremely unwatchable. Basically the theme of the night were people embarrassing themselves. Sure Peyton Manning goes out with a ring straight into the Hall of Fame but what a poor performance to cap off an embarrassing season. Then there was the other quarterback Cam Newton who was supposed to be the new face of football who was just as bad. There was a graphic late in the game which said the teams were a combined 5-22 on third down followed by Caroline failing to convert again leading to a field goal. It was at that point where I decided to flip over to Mercy Street. Really I should have just flipped over to Pitch Perfect after the halftime show.

And the offensive players were not the only ones embarrassing themselves, many screen legends tarnished their legacies: Willen Defoe in a dress, Christopher Walkin with a sock puppet, NFL legends acting opposite toe fungus, and Anthony Hopkins selling... I do not remember what he was selling so that was just a big waste of five million (seriously!) dollars. And you did not need celebrities to wast that much money, I am looking at you MonkeyBabyDog and kids singing about their parents having sex. There were a couple ads that did not suck massively, Helen Mirren shaming drunk drivers, hot dog dogs racing, and the bank robbers who stole a Prius come to mind, but none were really that great.

They did not embarrass themselves but the Coldplay halftime show will go down as one of the least memorable. Let me nitpick the set list, the problem with Coldplay is that their best songs are sad bastard song, which you want to steer clear of in the Super Bowl. So instead we get Vida la Vida, fine, whatever, but Paradise? A song off their new album that no one cares about? Where was Clocks? That should have been high on the list of songs they should have performed. Or maybe Polatik too. Then throw in a Beyoncé song no one had heard before and a Mark Ronson song people have heard too many times. Actually why did they not have Mark Ronson curate the halftime show instead? He could have brought in Bruno Mars, Mystikal, Lily Allen, Ghostface Killah, and Q-Tip. Just no Amy Winehouse hologram.

The biggest commercial buzz in recent years have been blockbuster movie trailers but this year was a mixed bag with half being superhero movies. A movie with Olivia Munn and the third best Stark kid should get me excited but I just cannot get worked up for another X-Men movie. The Team Cap vs. Team Iron Man should make Civil War more interesting than Age of Ultron but really no chills while watching the trailer. The Turkish Airlines ads masquerading as a Superman v. Batman trailer just made me a big queasy (so who put up the five million, or I guess ten for the two spot: Warner Brother or Turkish Airline; did they split the cost?). I may go on a superhero moratorium after Suicide Squad. Unless of course Black Manta shows up in Aquaman. The non-comic book movies were not much more interesting, Another Bourne? pass. Independence Day 2 fifteen years too late? Meh. Another live active version of a Disney cartoon? Why? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bastardizing Beastie Boys? Eww. Really the only trailer I enjoyed came during The Late Late Show when they premiered Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. A dumb comedy that reunites Stacey Pilgrim and Julie Powers? Yes please.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 2/8/15

Super Bowl: I refuse to recognize cheaters as winners because cheaters should never win and winners do not cheat. And lets be honest, the true winners of the Super Bowl was the Green Bay Packers. Seriously, very few people can outshine one of the greatest living humans Anna Kendrick in her own movie trailer. I am definitely not ready for Clay Matthews's jelly, but I cannot wait to see the full performance.


Shameless: Did someone forget to tell Showtime that the Super Bowl was on? And it ended up being the best episode of the short season so far and one of the best of the series. But I guess in the age of DVR and On Demand, I guess watching the first run episode does not really matter much for premium channels who are not selling ads. As long as the viewers watch sometime. But anyway. What a great episode for Frank in his warped The Hangover type plot of trying to figure out what happened to his insurance money. That final reveal with the prosthetics my have been the most "shameless" scene in the show's history. Now with Sheila gone and his money gone, it looks like Frank is back to square one. Does he move in with Sammi at this point?

Pretty Little Liars: Rosewood really has a never ending well of absurdly attractive lesbians. But can they bring back Mona already? The show is kind of boring without her. Because much like Allison, I just do not believe Mona is dead. Hopefully it does not take Mona four years to pop back up in town.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Agent Carter: As entertaining as the show has been it is disappointing that could not figure out how to make use of Dum Dum Duggan more often. Maybe if their is a season two, maybe Peggy can take up his offer of joining the Howling Commandos for next season.
You can download Marvel's Agent Carter om iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I cannot comment on this episode because I will undoubtedly offend people with my thoughts.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Justified: I could not believe they killed of Dewie Crowe in the season premiere (that really puts a crimp into my Dewie / Dickie spin-off) but Choo Choo may end up being an almost worthy substitute. But that mask scene just showed that Raylan is still the best character on television.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II: What a gutwrenching elimination, on one hand Johnny Bananas wore out his welcome five to ten seasons ago, on the other, Nana has quickly closing in on GOAT status. At least they have that silly ex-ile twist this season (is this the first time The Challenge stole something from Survivor? And now that I think about it, if The Challenge now allows Are You the One castmates, how about recruiting Survivor contestants too). If the show is scripted there is no doubt those two are the ones that make it back into the game. The stupid web show may end up being more entertaining than the actual show.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Hindsight: Why was Becca telling the college students how great the next R.E.M. album is? Would that not be New Adventures In Hi-Fi? C'mon Becca, it is one thing to spoil the future, but is another to give people false hope of the future. But she made up for it with a great use of Nightswimming at the of episode, one of my favorite songs ever recorded.
You can download Hindsight on iTunes.

The Americans: Sure, this is still one of the best shows on television, but something needs to happen. The show is still living off close calls every couple episodes, be it the CIA almost catching the Jennings, or Paige discovering what her parents do, but they still have not pulled the trigger on either. Interesting that NBC already beat The Americans to the punch on the second point creating a show where Russians spies tell their son about themselves (or so the previews would have me believe, I did not bother to watch Intelligence). Really the best part of this season so far was the one aspect of the show that chance: Nina in Russian prison. Why did they hold that storyline out of the premiere? Well, the second best, Stan telling Olag that if he if going to shoot him, he will have to shoot him in the back. What a "G" move.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Usually I prefer more serialized moments of television shows, but I really do not care at all about the fire Lizzie was in as a kid. And the more they talk about it, the more confused I get. So now her dad (or who she thought was her dad because it is still very plausible that Red is really her father) died in that fire. But did he not die last season when Red smothered him with a pillow? Meh, just give me the Blacklister of the week for this show. I do not care at all with the backstory.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: One thing I noticed this week is there is copious amounts of cleavage this season. In previous season the girls wore a lot of t-shirts with nerd slogans on them, but there are a lot of tank tops this time around. Between that and all the partial lesbians running around it is clear the boys do not have a chance of winning yet again this season. But at least the challenges are silly as ever. Why was there a sumo wrestler in the Nerd Off? Who knows, but it was entertaining.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

Super Bowl Shuffle 2014

This year is the tenth anniversary of the infamous wardrobe malfunction which means thing could be ready to get frisky again. But alas, nothing exciting happened, the Red Hot Chili Peppers did not even come out in their signature socks. But that Super Bowl also was the start of an improbable run where the games were more entertaining than the Super Bowl with every game still undecided going into the fourth quarter. Awe, parity. That streak was broken this year when the Seahawks drummed the Broncos in a Super Bowl reminiscent of all the blow outs in the eighties and nineties. With the all around bad play and ugly orange jerseys, I thought maybe Denver was switched out with the Browns. Of course that may be the only way Cleveland could get to play in a Super Bowl. But hey, just like the old NFL ads said, everyone is undefeated today. Of course then the Browns will just pick another thirty year old quarterback in the draft in April. But anyway, here are some other thoughts on the big game.

- Wait, so Queen Latifah did not awkwardly marry people before Madonna came out of no where for no reason. Well that was a disappointing way to start the show.

- The Broncos had six captains? How is that even legal? I understand thre, one for each phase of the game, but at that point, just send out your whole team.

- Now that is how you start a Super Bowl. How much did safety on the first play pay off? Makes you wonder how different the game would have been if that first hand off came off without a hitch.

- Two really dumb challenges at the start of the game by both coaches. Not that it mattered.

- So what exactly what was that Seinfeld thing for? It was not an ad (that I understand). It was not NBC resurrecting their golden goose. Just an odd piece of nostalgia because the game took place in New York City.

- Bruno Mars really is the modern day James Brown. You know if James Brown wrote bland pop songs. But just a random transition to Give it Away. And then Bruno just had to run the momentum by finishing the set with the super boring Just the Way You Are.

- Micheal Strahan is not a very good interviewer, how about going with Erin Andrews for the biggest interview of the year?

- Enough football, here are the best commercials from this year's game:

1. The Phone Call: RadioShack Commercial


2. Big Game Ad Starring Terry Crews and the Muppets | 2014 Toyota Highlander
3. NFL draft with Deion Sanders (I cannot seem to find a link; this is almost a big a fail as Super Bowl Shuffle no longer being on YouTube)
4. Ian Up For Whatever TV 60 -- 2014 Super Bowl XLVIII Commercial | Bud Light
5. Jaguar 2014 Big Game Commercial | British Villains
6. Budweiser Super Bowl XLVIII Commercial -- "Puppy Love"
7. Ellen Features in "The Right Music" for Beats Music and AT&T
8. Ford "Nearly Double" Big Game Ad | Rob Riggle & James Franco
9. Wonderful Pistachios Stephen Colbert Super Bowl Commercial 2014, Part 2
10. Audi 2014 Big Game Commercial - Doberhuahua

And since the great philopher Butt-Head once pondered, how we know what was cool if there weren't stuff that sucked, here are the commercials that were complete waste of four million dollars.

1. Doritos® - Time Machine -- Crash the Super Bowl Top 5 Finalist
2. 2014 Volkswagen Game Day Commercial: Wings
3. Cool Twist-- 2014 Super Bowl XLVIII Commercial | Bud Light
4. Tim Tebow shows you what you can do with #nocontract |T-Mobile Commercial
5. Dannon Oikos Greek Yogurt - The Spill

Best of the Week - 2/9/13

Quote of the Week: You're talking about no sense of humor. This is funny. I know I'm laughing. (Raylan Givens, Justified)

Song of the Week: P.S. I Love You – Robin Sparkles Daggers (How I Met Your Mother)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: The Super Bowl: As a former referee, I tend to err on the side of officials whenever there is a questionable call, we are all human and we are going to make a mistake or ten even at the highest levels. I do get a bit suspicious whenever the officiating is severely lopsided like it was with this year’s Super Bowl, the second most lopsided championship game I have ever witnessed (sorry Seahawks fans, you are still number one on the losing side of that). The most notable (no) call was the final play when there was clear pass interference that ended the 49’ers chance to tie the game. Add that to plays like the 2-point conversion when Ed Reed obviously crossed the line before the ball was snapped, which is only more glaring when the 49’ers got called doing the exact same thing during Baltimore’s next offensive series. Then there was also the time when, instead of a personal foul for running into the kicker, that would have given the 49’ers a drive extending first down, it was ruled incidental five yard penalty which only resulted in a re-kick. But the most jaw dropping moment was when a Baltimore Raven actually shoved a referee in the first half of the game. Not only did the guy not get thrown out, like he should have, he did not even get flagged on the play. What is worse the league have not even given the guy any sort of admonishment after the game. There is no way any player should get away with putting their hands on a referee. So the fix was clearly in, but the question is why. I have two working theories; 1) The NFL did not want the 49’ers to win so everyone would blame the blackout on the Ravens losing the biggest lead in Super Bowl history, or 2) the refs have a massive stake in deer antler stock.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Switched at Birth "Human/Need/Desire" Monday at 8:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Same as Blood – Lee Koch (NoiseTrade)

New Album Release of the Week: Authentic Hip Hop - LL Cool J

New DVD Release of the Week: Weeds: Season Eight

Video of the Week: Enough of the shame of a football game, lets talk about commercials. Again the big loser again was Doritos who for some reason wants to flush millions of dollars down the drain on the dumbest ads of the year. But they were edge out on the single worst ad by the uncomfortable Go Daddy commercial. As for the winners, only two come to mind a week later, M&M’s singing Meat Loaf just losing out to the Budweiser Clydesdale advertisement.



Next Week Pick of the Week: 2013 Grammy Awards, Sunday at 8:00 on CBS: I am not happy that other channels are counterprogramming the Grammy’s tomorrow as there are new episodes of Once Upon a Time, Revenge, and the return of The Walking Dead. But the Grammy’s are a priority as for the very first time that I can remember, I fully endorse all the nominees in the Album of the Year category. Plus there will be performances by Fun., Frank Ocean, The Lumineers, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, Jack White and collaborations featuring The Black Keys with Dr. John, Elton John and Ed Sheeran, Maroon 5 and Alicia Keys, Bruno Mars with Rihanna and Sting, as well as a tribute to Levon Helm featuring Mumford & Sons, Zac Brown Band, Elton John, and T Bone Burnett.

Best of the Week - 2/2/13

Quote of the Week: I am just here to look my enemy in the eye and since your daddy is two feet shorter than I am, I guess you’ll have to do. (J.R. Ewing, Dallas)

Song of the Week: In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins (The Americans)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Deer Antlers Are the New Cow Steroids: It is clear that athletes will do anything to get ahead. A week after Lance Armstrong admitted that he was doping during all of his Tour de France championships, possible double murderer Ray Lewis (just ask Wes Welker’s wife) was accused of injecting himself with deer antlers which apparently are the fastest growing animal part in the world. Despite denying it, it seems plausible because, well, all athletes clearly cheat now a days, there is no way to test for deer antler juice, and Lewis got back from an arm injury a couple months ahead of schedule. So for those unsure of who to root for this Sunday, you probably should not root for the murdering cheaters.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Morning Mornings premieres Monday at 10:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: One – U2 (Google Play)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5: This month’s five dollar album deals include Prince, R.E.M., Jewel, and Ctpress Hill:


New Album Release of the Week: Smokey Mary - Harry Connick Jr.

New DVD Release of the Week: Peter Pan (Two-Disc Diamond Edition Blu-ray/DVD Combo in Blu-ray Packaging)

Video of the Week: Last year History broke records with their Hatfields & McCoys miniseries and in a month from now (3/3/13) they look to keep that momentum going with their next dramatization of historical events with the nine episode scripted series Vikings starring Gabriel Byrne and Jessalyn Gilsig. Check out the latest promo below:


Next Week Pick of the Week: Community, Thursday at 8:00 on NBC: NBC seems to be cleaning house in the comedy department this year canceling The Office, 30 Rock, switching Up All Night to being filmed in front of a studio audience and the green lighting broader comedies like Go On and The New Normal. So canning its creator, being relegated to Fridays before getting an early February premiere date, it may be safe to assume that Community will not be featuring fifth year seniors next season. Chevy Chase has even already folded up shop a couple episodes early. So enjoy these last thirteen episodes before the show likely joins 30 Rock and The Office in the Peacock dustbin. Hopefully Alison Brie will have already have a new show or two lined up for next fall by then because with no more Community and Pete Campbell getting an apartment in the city, I fear there may not be much Alison Brie on my television come 2014.

Best of the Week - 2/11/12

Quote of the Week: You know what they say: getting old ain’t for pussies. (Raylan, Justified)

Song of the Week: Burnin' for You – Blue Öyster Cult (How I Met Your Mother)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Super Bowl XLVI: Darn you New York Giants, for the second time in five years you just had to win the game late, but still leaving enough time for a potential last second drive. Remember the good old days when the Super Bowl would be a blowout and you could just sit back, relax and enjoy the party and commercials? Oh well, at least they still ended up beating Bill Belechicken and his merry band of cheater so us Patriot haters can still hang our hats on that they have yet to win a championship since Spygate.

As for those previously mention commercials: yawn (except of course all the ones that featured Adriana Lima). A week later an none really stick out to me except the Clint Eastwood one (and of course Adriana Lima) which was stupidly decried as pro-Obama. The ad was pro-America and anyone who thought it was pro-Obama or even anti-Obama as other talking heads insisted need to leave America. But as un memorable the ads were once again this year, at least none of them features some fifty year old pretending that she was still in her twenties. No one needs to see that.

Free Download of the Week: Celebrity - The Escape Club (Amazon MP3): Remember two hit wonder The Escape Club. You know Wild Wild West; “Heading for the nineties living in the eighties” and those weird arms / legs things in the video? Well they are still together and surprisingly this song is not bad. You got to feel bad for two hit wonders, not enough hits to be remembered in the annuls of time and one hit too many for the novelty of being a one hit wonder.

Deal of the Week: Blu Rays Under $10 (Forrest Gump, Batman Begins, Groundhog Day)

New Album Release of the Week: As The Crow Flies - Amos Lee

New DVD Release of the Week: Beavis & Butthead: Volume 4

Video of the Week: As lackluster as the ads during the Super Bowl were, the best one actually came after the big game when Betty White congratulated the New York Giants before teling America who will be lifting the Lombardi Trophy in 2013. I have lived through the Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, The Blown Save, The Decision, and an inferior city stealing our football team only to win the Super Bowl four years later so I have been content that I would never see a championship in Cleveland in my lifetime. But now that we have the backing of Belly White, not only to I know I see one in my life time, I believe Betty will see one in her lifetime. Mark it down: Josh Cribbs will be your Super Bowl XLVII MVP. (Please note that I will delete this post and deny I ever typed it when the Brown picks up Donovan McNabb in free agency.)



Next Week Pick of the Week: Grammy Awards, Sunday at 8:00 on CBS: It is the biggest night in music tomorrow and once again they are giving us quite a few great collaborations including Coldplay and Rihanna, Tony Bennett and Carrie Underwood, Glen Campbell with The Band Perry and Blake Shelton, Alicia Keys is teaming up with Bonnie Raitt to honor Etta James, and the reunited The Beach Boys with fellow Southern Californians Maroon 5 and Foster the People. Plus the return of Adele to live performing and the first performance of Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band since the passing of longtime saxophonist Clarence Clemmons. They may even pass out an award or two (I am going to go out on a very short limb and say they all go to Adele).

Super Bowl Shuffle 2010

Remember back when people would watch the Super Bowl for the commercials because the game itself was usually over by halftime? Luckily as the ads took a creative dip in recent years, the game has been thrilling thanks to David Tyree’s helmet, Pittsburg / Arizona’s dueling fourth quarter comebacks, and this year’s Peyton Manning’s interception.

Even though MVP’s always go to players, this year should have went to Sean Payton. The on-side kick out of half time is the gustiest play ever in the history of the Super Bowl. (Keep in mind had they missed it and they lost, added to the not making a fourth a goal play, he would have been killed by the talking heads today worse than they did Bill Belichicken when he went for it on fourth down against the Colts earlier this season.) But I almost feel bad for the Colts fan because just as they talk themselves back on the bandwagon after their team quit on a perfect season, they end up losing. And I could tell they were going to lose when they trotted out Matt Stover, the guy is so old he is an ex-Brown. And by ex-Brown, he was on the team when they were unceremoniously stolen from Cleveland.

As for this year’s commercials: eh. The NFL needs to put a stop to GoDaddy’s “Too Hot for TV” ads. Someone at Doritos’s needs to be fired along with whoever thought spending two million taxpayer dollars on a census ad featuring Ed Begley Jr. And it isn’t a good sign for movies this year when the best trailer was for a video game (Dante’s Inferno). But there were some interesting one, here is my top 10:

1. House of Cans (Bud Light)
2. You Play Like Betty White (Snickers)
3. Worst Super Bowl Party Ever (Late Show with David Letterman)
4. Stevie Wonder Punch (Volkswagen)
5. Timothy Richmond (Cars.com)
6. Punxsutawney Palamalu (NFL Full Contact [note: this is only because I can mock Steelers fan because of it])
7. Green Police (Audi)
8. Vacation (Homeandaway.com)
9. Robot (Intel)
10. Free Grand Slam (Denny’s)

And since there was an overabundance of clunkers, here were the biggest waste of two million dollars:

1. Funeral (Doritos)
2. Megan Fox (Motarola)
3. Auto-Tune (Bud Light)
4. Gym Stealing (Doritos)
5. Casual Friday (CareerBulider.com)
6. Census
7. Sumo (KGB [seriously who names a product KGB?])
8. Anti-Bark (Doritos)
9. Too Hot (GoDaddy)
10. Tim Tebow (Focusonthefamily.com)

Super Bowl Shuffle 2009

If I were a conspiracy theorist (which I am not, just a biased Browns fan who was programmed since birth to hate the Steelers) I would point out that every questionable call just happened to be called in favor of the Pittsburg Steelers and there was such an egregious hold on the winning touchdown that a Steelers’ lineman pulled up a Cardinals’ lineman shirt over his head hockey style. But I am not, so I won’t.

I will say that once again the game well outshined the commercials which most likely have the economy to thanks with less big name celebrity cameos and big special effects. The most disappoints has to the 3-D of Aliens vs. Monsters, So-Be, and Chuck preview which pretty much like 2-D but with the added bonus of a headache. I may have to skip Chuck’s episode tomorrow and hope they stream a 2-D on Hulu.

The most surprising to me had to be G.I. Joe, a movie, much like Transformers, I wanted to avoid at all cost to avoid Jerry Bruckheimer from ruining my childhood (and that A-Team movie better not get off the ground either, unless of course Mr. T gets to play B.A. Baraccus) but the trailer drug me in before the title screen came around.

And if I learned one thing from the Super Bowl is that NBC only airs shows on Mondays. God forbid they air a promo for the football-themed Friday Night Lights during the biggest football game of the year instead showing that extremely lame Doing Alright Monday Night promo three times (with that said, more Token Hot Chick dancing please). No wonder they are dead last in the ratings. And if I were a midseason replacement (besides Medium), I’d be irritated that Jay Leno gets a spot but I don’t. The unemployment rate is reaching 10% yet Ben Silverman isn’t part of it yet? But anyways. Here is the best (and worst) commercials:

Best Commercials
1. Bridgestone Tires: Mr. Potato Head
2. Audi: Jason Stathem
3. Pedigree: Maybe You Should Get a Dog
4. G
5. Doritos: Luck
6. Priceline: Negotiator
7. Monster: Moose Head
8. Pepsi: PepsGuber
9. Coke: Avatar
10. H&R Block: Death and Taxes


Best Trailers
1. Year One
2. Up
3. G.I. Joe
4. Duplicity
5. Race to Witch Mountain


Worst Commercials (or Biggest Waste of a Million Dollars)
1. Careerbuilder.com: Repeat
2. E-Trade: Babies
3. Go Daddy: Enhancement
4. Visio
5. Jay Leno
6. Fast and Furious
7. Pepsi: Dylan
8. Castrol: Monkey
9. Cheetoes: Ugly Side of Town
10. Bud Light: Conan

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XVIII

Before I get into the best television had to offer last week, let me remind you that you still have a week to enter to win Dirt Season 1 on DVD starring Courteney Cox. Click the link or the banner to see how to enter.

Quote of the Week: I was thinking, you know, hit the museum, yoga, library for a bit. Then again I might just do the usge. You wanna get a beer? (Tim Riggins, Friday Night Lights)

Song of the Week: Faith - George Michael (Eli Stone, or at least I am assuming that the show featured the song from the ads. I haven’t watched it yet)

Big News of the Week: Worst Super Bowl Loss Ever: I have good news and bad news for Patriot fans. The ’85 team no longer has the worst lost in Super Bowl history. I never thought anything would be worst the huge blow out, The Fridge scoring on them, and even the back up QB calling out the team in the Super Bowl Shuffle. Of course the bad news is the ’07 Patriots replaced them. ’85 was just straight up embarrassed, with this loss the ’07 lost their perfect season in the last game, are no longer in the discussion for the best team ever or the best dynasty ever, Bill Belichicken losses his genius tag and to add insult to injury there is still Arlen Spector snooping around and the former filming technician for the team that says he has even more dirt on them that will taint the Super Bowls they did win pitting them in Big Head Barry territory. And one thing I didn’t learn today that need to be added to my post yesterday (see: Suck It Bill Belichicken) Billy again just showed again how classless he was by walking off the field with one second left. Now wonder he was so eager to trade for Randy “I take off plays when I want to” Moss who pulled the same classless move when he was in Minnesota.


Coalition Links of the Week:

Buzz suggested some books for fans missing their Gossip Girl, Brothers & Sisters, Heroes, and more. (BuzzSugar)

This week, Daemon's TV introduced their new regular feature, DVR (Daemon Video Recap), a fun video recap chipmunk-style of your favorite TV shows. (Daemon's TV)

Liz enjoyed a hefty dose of manufactured drama (with some crazy (expletive deleted), to boot) on the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. (Glowy Box)

Be it mere Sports Night nostalgia or something greater, Mikey is digging Thursday's session with In Treatment. (Mikey Likes TV)

Marcia explained why Supernatural is one of the most underrated shows on television. (Pop Vultures)

Feeling nostalgic, Rae recalled favorite childhood TV shows and moments from Buffy and Dawson's Creek among others with a TV meme. (RTVW)

Vance admits to liking guilty pleasures like the movie 27 Dresses, the new single by OneRepublic and the TV show Carpoolers. Yes, Vance is that one person watching that show. (Tapeworthy)

This week, Jace was all about Lost, with exclusive interviews with Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Elizabeth Mitchell, Michael Emerson, and Yunjin Kim, advance reviews, and morning-after analysis. (Televisionary)

TiFaux got naughty and kinky this week by offering up the Top Ten TV-Related Safe Words. (TiFaux)

Tube Talk celebrated the new season of Lost with a hilarious parody starring the Lost action figures. (Tube Talk)

Raoul found out the crazy things people say when they file complaints to the FCC about your favorite shows (TV Filter)

Thanks to some shameless in show advertising, the TV Addict deems NBC "Nothing But Commercials" (TheTVaddict.com)


Breaking Bad: I really do not get this show, this episode was even less entertaining than the first. I think one more episode may be my limit. Actually, was there a new episode yesterday that I missed?

American Karaoke: I inadvertently watched my first ever episode of the national karaoke championships ever this week. I was sitting in a room with two televisions Wednesday and I had just turned on the Republican Debates when the cleaning lady came in and turned the other television on American Karaoke and proceeded to turn up the volume up so loud I couldn’t hear the television I was sitting in front up. Yeah they is something ironic of seeing Ron Paul but hearing someone butcher Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting, but actually the show was somehow even worse than I ever thought it would be. Seriously, how can so many people be that obsessed with horrible singers butchering mediocre songs? It is obviously not because of the music because all the former karaoker are getting dropped from their record labels.

Super Tuesday Democratic Debate: Wow, was that boring. After the wrestling style smackdown in South Carolina, I expected much more. It was like two librarian debating. With that said, it was a really good week for me, Bill Belichicken lost he genius label, Rudy Giuliani dropped out of the race, and now all I need is for Hilary Clinton to get crushed tomorrow to complete the trifecta. For those that need any more reason not to vote for Clinton: she received an endorsement from biggest right wing nut job, and that says a lot, Ann Coulter (who Keith Olberman affectionately calls Coultergeist). Then on the far left of things, the most recent Rolling Stone (with Tom York on the cover) called Clinton the new Nixon. I wonder if that makes Bubba Spiro Agnew.

Also one thing that seemed to get lost last Wednesday with Giuliani and John Edwards dropping out, Arnold endorsing John McCain, the Republican debate, was that Ralph Nader launched an exploratory committee for a presidential launch.

Lost: Haven’t seen it yet. Maybe tonight unless I decide to watch and rewatch Welcome to the Captain.

Friday Night Lights: It says a lot that when I got home late on Friday and the one show I watched wasn’t the season premiere of Lost but Friday Night Lights. Even though I haven’t seen Lost yet, I bet I made the right decision because this week’s episode of FNL was better than anything Lost put on in its prime. So much to love from the hilarious (Matt trying to turn into Riggins, Landry, Matt, and Smash at lunch, Julie driving, Tyra and the alternative chick fighting over Landry) to heartbreaking (Mrs. Taylor missing her driving test, Smash losing his scholarship, Coach’s tough love with Matt). Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.

Super Bowl Commercials: One of the few years where the game was actually better than the commercials to the point I really don’t remember most of them, but here is my top five of those I did remember today:

1. Bill Frist and James Carville bond over Coke
2. Shaq as a jockey
3. Alice Cooper and Richard Simmons caught in the headlights
4. Charles Barkley harassing Dwayne Wayne
5. Lizards dancing to Thriller

Honorable mentions to the Adriana Lima one for obvious reasons and the trailer for Don’t Mess with the Zohan because you know anything written by Adam Sandler, Jude Apatow and Rober Smigle (who you may know better as the dude who’s hand is up Triumph the Insult Comic Dog’s bottom) has to be classic.


Next Week’s Pick: Grammy Awards at 8:00 on CBS: Last week the writers guild gave the Grammy’s an exemption so luckily we will get to hear four month old Amy Winhouse jokes that they have been storing up since the strike began. Yeah. But the Grammy’s were, and will be about the music and this year expect performances by Alicia Keys, Feist, Brad Paisley, Beyoncé, Foo Fighters (with special guest conductor Led Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones), Carrie Underwood as well as tributes to gospel and The Beatles. Need more reasons to watch? How about a performance by Rihanna. Now you may be thinking to yourself, “but Scooter I have seen her perform on the Movie Awards, VMA’s and countless other awards show last year, what makes this special?” Well how about that she will be backed by a reunited The Mother Frackin’ Time.

Super Bowl Shuffle 2007

Before I get into the big show yesterday, and more importantly the commercials, let me first chastise Saturday Night Live for not resurrecting Da Bears. Even a crappy Da Bears skit would have been funnier than anything else that was on that show. Instead they resurrected another skit the Donnatella Versace Show and instead of bringing back George Wendt they brought back Horatio Sanz. Luckily Lily Allen saved the show otherwise it would have been a waste.

As for the game itself, I would again like to point out that I called the Indianapolis Colts over the Chicago Bears way back in September and was pretty close picking the actual score (I had 27-12 which isn’t that far from 29-17). So screw Miss Cleo, if you want to know what will happen next in your life call me, of course for a small fee. And I have to say that I much prefer the whole Super Bowl in inclement weather thing too, makes the game much more excited. In the first quarter alone there was three lost fumbles, two back to back, and an interception. The only bad thing about the weather was the one camera that was foggy all game, I though I was watching a cheesy dream sequence whenever they went to that camera.

But the Super Bowl is less about the actual game as the other bells and whistles throughout the game. It started off with some Cirque de Soleil stuff. Seriously, can we save this artistic crap for the opening ceremonies at the Olympics? Included in this performance was some dude named Louie Vega, At first I though it was Mambo King Lou Bega. The opening of the Kickoff Show is usually very well produced and this year was no different as the family segment definitely passed the Goosebumps test.

The Halftime Show starts off with the moron Shannon Sharp continually talking about what Chicago needed to do to get back in the game even though they were only down by two points. If you are within a touchdown you are, by definition, in the game. Luckily that ended soon and went to the second best Halftime Show ever (I still have U2 at number one). Seriously how better can it get that Prince singing Purple Rain in the rain? Yeah it could have been better had he sung more of his own songs as we really didn’t need to here his version of Best of Me. But interestingly enough the Foo Fighters recently covered Prince’s Darling Nikki. And even though he’s Born Again, Prince still seemed to get in a very phallic pose during the curtain segment. Miss the performance or like me and want to see it again, check out the videos below , well before YouTube will undoubtedly pulls it:






Now onto the most important part of the Super Bowl, the commercials. Much like recent year, none really stood out. Oddly not that many movies this year as Hollywood usually uses the Super Bowl to roll out its summer blockbusters. Then there was CBS that used about 70% of their ads to promote CSI and Survivor, their two most watched shows. Here’s something I never understand, why networks always promote shows that everyone already watches and not the ones that have low ratings? And I was shocked to learn the Shark is the most watched new show. But anyways. You can watch, and vote for your favorite over at YouTube but first here is the list of ads that flushed 2.5 million dollars down the drain:

1. Mapasaurus - some GPS
2. Car Machine Suicide - GM
3. Heart Under Attack - Beatyourrisk.com
4. Sheryl Crow - Revlon
5. Marketing Department - Godaddy.com
6. Connectile Dysfunction - Sprint
7. Dudes Washing Car - Chevy


And now the best:



1. Robert Goulet - Emerald Nuts
2. Gay Kiss - Snickers
3. Rock Paper Scissors - Bud Light
4. Mouse - Blockbuster
5. Auction Wedding - Bud Light
6. Chad Johnson’s Party - Some Beer
7. Beard Combover - Sierra Mist Free
8. Survive the Workday - Careerbuilder.com
9. Moon Office - Fed Ex
10. Car Crash - Doritos Old Dude - Coke
11. Truck Coming Together - Ford
12. Hitchhiker - Bud Light
13. Federline - Nationwide
14. Slap Replacing Hand Bump - Bud Light
15. Bank Robbery - E*Trade

Obligatory Super Bowl Review

Well that was boring. The commercials were sub-par, very few must see movie trailers, the half time show was sleep inducing and on top of it was a poorly played game. And if I were a Seahawks fan I would be extremely pissed because Seattle got jobbed. Four major game changing calls and all four went in the favor Pittsburg. I wonder if Joey Porter is going to thank the referees for throwing the game just like he ripped them for trying to give the game to the Colts a couple weeks ago. Even the main page of ESPN.com had a headline that said “Steeling the Show.” Here are the calls in question:

1. Bogus offensive interference in the end zone negating a Seahawks touchdown. Personally it looked more like a stiff arm than a push. If a player runs into someone else’s hand, it shouldn’t be a penalty. This led to field goal.

2. Big Ben on a third and twenty-eight dances on the line of scrimmage before completing a pass inside the five. This led to…

3. Big Ben dives into the end zone and the line judge tentatively calls it a touchdown basically hoping that the reply would get it right. But there wasn’t enough information for the officials to over tune it giving the Steelers their first score.

4. Phantom holding call that negated a pass to the one yard line. I’ll take John Madden’s word for it that wasn’t any holding on that play. This led to a Steelers interception which Pittsburg tuned into seven points.

It seems like every major sport events these days are marred by shady officiating that reeks of them throwing the game. Back when I was an official, whenever I made a questionable call, I’d always make sure that the next one would go the other way just to keep thing fair. But all of the major league officials always seem to favor one team. It’s almost as if Don King were involved. But anyways. Here are some of the thought I had during the big game yesterday:

- Why would they have Bill Belichicken in the pre-show? This is the most boring person ever. You might as well have brought in Steven Wright to do color commentary after that.

- Only thing lamer than The Rolling Stones performance at halftime was the Mick Jagger interview during the pre-show.

- On the other hand the pre-show concert was much better albeit they should have had fewer songs so they could spend more time singing the ones that would be left. And maybe during the Motown review, they should have had a couple more artists from Detroit.

- I wonder if Stevie Wonder knows if Joss Stone is a skinny white chick form England.

- The NFL really dropped the ball by ignoring those who didn’t show up for the MVP introduction. Yeah it’s shady for Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw for passing due to money issues but should have at least named them all.

- Not a good sign for the Seahawks when they came out to the sounds of Bittersweet Symphony. Unless you are dedicating it to your opponent, not the best choice.

- What are with goofballs that shout during the moment of silence? These people should have been kick out of the game.

- That was a nice jazzy version of the Star Spangled Banner, but I could have done without Aaron Neville and Aretha Franklin trying to out-diva each other.

- I’m pretty sure Harrison Ford was stoned during the Oh, the Places You Go! segment. And had I been high, I may have enjoyed it.

- Didn’t the Rolling Stones do the exact same set during the kickoff show at the beginning of the season? It was nice that they played a new song though giving everyone a chance to go to the bathroom.

- I passed on the post show because there are very few things in my life I’d like to less than the Steelers celebrating a Super Bowl.


The commercials were overall lackluster. Out of five, I rated most of the ads a three or less. Plus I still don’t have a clue what Godaddy.com does and there was an ad with a bunch of people in HASMAT suits except I have absolutely no clue what it was advertising nor do I remember whose ad it was. Aside from V for Vendetta and the new Pirates of the Caribbean, none of the movies seemed that interesting. And wasn’t there a Poseidon Adventure remake that was a made for TV movie a couple weeks ago, why would I spend ten bucks to see another one? But anyways. In the end, it’s not a good sign when one of the best commercials is for a TV show, but here my list of the best of the best anyways:

1. Careerbuilder.com - I work with jackasses
2. MasterCard - MacGyver
3. Crime Deterrent Cell Phone
4. Lost - Addictive to Love
5. Bud Light - Scavenger hunt
6. I’m Going to Disney World
7. Ford Escape Hybrid - Kermit, It Ain’t Easy Being Green
8. Sharpie - Pirate autograph
9. Desperate Housewives - Which housewife are you?
10. Mobile ESPN
11. Degree - Stunt City
12. Budweiser - Lamb streaker
13. Aleve - Spock
14. Unknown - HASMAT
15. Budweiser - Stadium cards



The worst ad by far was Diet Pepsi's "Brown and Bubbly" ads. How could this make it to air. You got to think someone along the way would realize how this phrase could easily be compaired to things people do in the bathroom. This could go down as the worst marketing idea ever. In other new, I may gave some very cool news to announce in the near future, and I’m talk about the time I was on Letterman cool, so make sure you look out for that.

Worst. Super Bowl. Ever.

From the start pre-show until the end of American Dad and everything in-between, this was the worst super bowl that I can remember. Thanks Janet. Here's a running tally of everything that happened yesterday.

Pre-Show

Seeing Charlie Daniels dancing with the Black Eyed Peas was possibly the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. Nonetheless, Black Eyed Peas have performed at every event in the last 2 years. Super Bowl, Awards Show, Democratic National Convention. (There a many reasons why Kerry lost the election, but I would put having a group perform "Lets Get Retarded" "Lets Get it Started" has to be near the top.)

Alicia Keys was one of the few bright spots all day. Then again, it seems she can't do any wrong. Well barring hanging out with Usher. It was too bad Ray Charles couldn't be them himself because he always did do a great version on "America the Beautiful." I would highly recommend "Ray Charles Sings for America" if you don't have it already.

OK back to the bad stuff. Did anyone else notice that the coin "flip" didn't actually flip at all? I don't know if that kid didn't know how to flip a coin or if was trying to rig the outcome. It's time to bring back the legends to do the flipping.

The Game

I'm not going to restate the reasons why I don't think Belachick is not a genius, but I'd like to add that he went to the wrong bench to start the game. How does anyone lose to this guy? I'd resign in shame if I were Andy Reid. The real test of Belachick's "wisdom" will be next year when both coordinators are gone. By the way, Romeo Crennel meet Jeff Garcia. Have fun next year.

Did anyone find the irony in T.O. being guarded by some one named Randle Gay? But you have to give it up to T.O. for putting up triple digit yards, even if most of his catches were short out patterns. Although for a guy who once said if you don't want to see me celebrate, keep me out of the end zone, he did seem to break out the eagle flap about 30 yards away from said end zone. Which then led to Mike Vrabel to mocking him. Twice. This seems to be a start of a trend. If you remember 3 weeks ago, FredEx (the only time you will see his name) did the reverse moon twice. Doesn't this count as excessive celebration? But back to T.O., can you imagine what would happen if T.O. was 100%. Well, most likely, McNabb would have underthown him. Worst. Super Bowl performance. Ever. Three interceptions, not to mention one that was called back due to a penalty away from the play, and a fumble that was called back due to instant replay. Ouch. And as bad as McNabb was, the Eagles only lost by three.

Halftime

Paul McCartney is your anti-Janet this year perform good wholesome Beatles songs about illegal drugs. When I first saw McCartney going to the piano, I thought, "Oh, no, it's the obligatory ten minute version of Hey Jude," but was instead saved but "Live and Let Die" (which I believe he stole from Guns 'n' Roses). Another great message. Then it finally came, the obligatory ten minute version of "Hey Jude." I remember seeing McCartney doing this song on SNL once I swear at one point during the NaNaNa's he went, "OK 5 more times." Um, yeah, bathroom break time. At least this year's Super Bowl alleviated the major problems that have been plaguing most halftime shows, having someone perform than no one in the stand would enjoy. Sports fans tend to be middle aged white guys, so a former Beatle was a good choice. Do you think anyone who was at or watched the Orange Bowl listens to Ashlee Simpson? The problem with most halftime shows is they try to bring in a TV audience that would not normally watch the game itself. And that, in turn, is why most of them get booed. That and Ashlee Simpson is tone def. On another musically not "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" was not the best choice for a theme song. Although it wasn't the most out of place that song has been played this year. That award would go to the Clinton Library Opening.

Commercials

Here's my top 5:

5) Diet Pepsi (P.Diddy) - Nice social commentary on how people will do anything copy anything to be cool. Bonus points for putting the youngest Desperate Housewives in the spot. it is also interesting that that "Pimp My Ride's" own Xzibit has no problem selling himself for money. Honorable Mention for there other ad with the guy waking down the street turning every women's head including Cindy Crawford and one of the Queer Guys.
4) Mustang Convertible - If I had a convertible, I'd have it down at all times too. While I'm talking about car, I can't remember which one is was but why did some car maker drop 2.4 million on a car that doesn't come out until the end of 2005. Buzz doesn’t last that long as proven by how I can't even remember it's name.
3) NFL Network (Everyone is undefeated tomorrow) - One of the best sports ideas ever. Unfortunately it won't take the Brown's too long change that. My only problem is that I only recognized 3 people in the ad, Joe Montana, Ben Rothhngfhnkslflituebuger, and Dante Cullpepper, whom I only recognized him because he was singing with a Viking.
2) SBC (Wonderful Tonight) - Anyone who has had to wait an hour for a girl to get dressed can relate to this ad.
1) MBNA Credit Card - Charlie Daniels dancing with Black Eyed Peas, disturbing. Gladys Knight playing rugby, freaking hilarious.

Sadly it wasn't too hard to come up with this list because most of the ads were boring or just lame (LeBron, I’m taking to you). Seriously, two companies picked M.C. Hammer as their spokesmen. For those keeping track $4.8 million were spent on the selling power of M.C. Hammer. One ad even pointed out his poor money management. Did no one realize this in the pitch meeting? Also the only erectile dysfunction didn't air until 9:05. Thanks Janet (no sarcasm this time)

Another recent trend is the summer movie trailer during the Super Bowl. Here are the one's I will most likely see.

5) War of the World - I'm not actually see this movie since I've already seen Independence Day, but it was either this or Robots. Ever notice that the little girl in this movie is the new go to kid. I have a feeling Hailey Joel Osmont is rueing the day he went threw puberty.
4) The Pacifier - Even though it has Vin Diesel in it. Even though I saw it back when it was called Kindergarten Cop (Governor Diesel? shiver.) This may end up as a rental solely on the appearance of Brittany Snow who make "American Dreams" watchable each week.
4a) xXx - Ice Cube for Vin Diesel - upgrade.
3) Be Cool - Pulp Fiction meets Swingers via Get Shorty, I'm in.
2) The Longest Yard - It has Adam Sandler, but it also has Nelly. It has Chris Rock but it has Brian Bosworth. It has Michael Irving but it has Bill Romanowski. This could be the best or worst movie of the year.
1) Batman Begins - One word, Scarecrow. Best. Batman villain. Ever. But I'm not sold on the American Psycho as Batman and I like the Bat mobile as a sports car rather than a Hummer.

Post Game

Did anyone notice that the "Under 5" Post Show went almost 30 minutes? Oh well. Nothing hurt more then when Chris Collingsworth said, "There is not a person in Cleveland not scratching their heads and saying 'can you believe what we're seeing?" Ouch. As for the Simpsons, the show seemed a little dated touching on all most of the topics that shaped LAST year. At least the Comic Book Guy gave me a title for this commentary.

To cap of the Worst. Super Bowl. Ever. was Fox's newest show, American Dad, which apparently was from the makers of Family Guy. Did they really need to tell us that? Let's look at the families: Idiot Father - Check. Loving Mother - Check. Nerdy Son- Check. Smart Daughter - Check. Talking Pet - Check. Member with a weird accent - Check. Oh, what the heck, one for the road - Worst. Post-Super Bowl Show. Ever.