Best of the Week - 4/16/11

Quote of the Week: Because you dress like Justin Beiber and eat pork rinds for dinner. (The Killing)

Song of the Week: I Will Remember You – Sarah McLaughlin (How I Met Your Mother)

Big News of the Week: Norm MacDonald Returns to Television: One of my heroes finally returned to the small screen this week, the only problem is, I have not seen it yet. See, Sports Show with Norm MacDonald is on past my bedtime, So I figured I would head over to Hulu the next day, only it was not there. Next I tried Comedy Central.com and all that was there were five short clips. Then on to Comedy Central’s On Demand channel to no avail. As a last resort, I looked up its repeat schedule and it only reairs past midnight. Seriously Comedy Central, throw me a bone so I do not have to break out the VCR to watch the show.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: I Should Have Known - Foo Fighters (AmazonMP3)

Deal of the Week: Up to 59% Off ABC TV (Castle, Lost, Scrubs)

New Album Release of the Week: Two - Lenka

New DVD Release of the Week: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air: The Complete Sixth Season

Video of the Week: After a brief hiatus, this week saw a double dose of Yvonne Strahovski with the return of Chuck and she even popped u[p in the latest College Humor video. Although I kind of wish I could unsee the second. The video lampoons the very parodyable Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and Lady Gaga and managed to come up with a song three times worse than any of the songs of the original artists (which has to be hard to do) to the point that College Humor should really think about changing its name. So be warned you may think less of Sarah Walker after watching this video.




Next Week Pick of the Week: Game of Thrones, Sunday (4/17) at 9:00 n HBO: HBO rules the early 00’s critically with show like The Sopranos, The Wire, Deadwood and Rome, but there have been chinks in the armor of late with some considering Showtime, the must subscribe channel while other consider AMC the channel with the best shows on television (I would argue that title goes to FX). With the critically mixed True Blood the only recent hit, HBO looks to reassert its dominance in terms of quality this weekend with the premiere of the highly anticipated Game of Thrones based on George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series. I know I cannot wait until the show hits DVD shelves.

Lyrics Quiz: One Hit Wonders of the 90's (That Should Had Been on VH1's List)

A couple weeks ago VH1 debut The 40 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 90’s and my initial thought when it was done was that I could think of 40 songs off the top of that were more worthy than most of the songs they picked (a fourth of which should not even be considered one hit wonders, though I am sure some people could say the same about my lists). And I took twenty-five of the most egregious omissions from VH1’s list for this month’s Lyrics Quiz. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section or e-mail me. If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them.

1. I couldn’t have a one conversation if it wasn’t for the lies, lies, lies. And still I want to tell you everything, until I close my eyes.
2. You lied to me, all those times I said that I love you. You lied to me, yes, I tried, yes, I tried. You lied to me, even though you know I'd die for you. You lied to me, yes, I cried, yes, I cried.
3. You know what’s the problem, you not used to learning. I'm Big Daddy Longstroke, and your man’s Pee Wee. (I Got a Man - Positive K; guessed by Doug)
4. Keep ‘em near the fifties and the hundreds all arranged. Anything less than that, you can keep the change. Not filthy rich but (expletive deleted), I’m barely broke. Blessed with flows that keep you hooked like dope. (Deja Vu (Uptown Baby) - Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz; guessed by Doug)
5. ‘Cause now that I’m rich so many women want to do me it makes a man say “Expletive Deleted.” I’m finally taxing more play than Uncle Sam.
6. I see thru you, I see through you. I see thru you, I see thru you. Your dirty tricks, you make me sick. I see thru you, I see thru you.
7. Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? I promise you I will treat you well my sweat angel. So help me Jesus. (Possum Kingdom - The Toadies; guessed by Doug)
8. Make sure your hair is spotless and clean. Wash it at least once every two weeks: once every two weeks. And if you see Johnny Footballhero in the hall, tell him he played a good game, tell him you liked his article in the newspaper. (Popular - Nada Surf; guessed by Doug)
9. When I say freeze you’ll freeze one time. When I say freeze you all stop on a dime: FREEZE. Now all the ladies in the place, if you have real hair, real fingernails. If you got a job, you going to school and you don’t need nobody help you handle your business: make some noise. (Let Me Clear My Throat (Live) - DJ Kool; guessed by Doug)
10. Got a picture of you beside me. Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup. Got a fist of pure emotion. Got a head of shattered dreams.
11. You’ll say that we've got nothing in common, no common ground to start from and we’re falling apart. You’ll say the world has come between us, our lives have come between us. Still I know you just don’t care.
12. Sunday comes and all the papers say, Ma Teresa’s joined the mob and happy with her full time job.
13. Who got the only sweetest thing in the world? Who got the love? Who got the freshy-freshy? Who got the only sweetest thing in the world.
14. Groovy, groovy, jazzy, funky, pounce dance as we dip in the melodic sea, the rythem keeps flowing, it drips to MC. Sweet sugar, pop surgar, pop rocks, it pops, ya don’t stop ‘til the sweet beat drops. (Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia) - Us3; guessed by Doug)
15. Well I would like to hold my little hand. How we will run, we will. How we will crawl we will. I would like to hold my little hand. How we will run we will. How we will crawl.
16. I heard the prom night is a bomb night with a hood rat you can hold tight. But really though, when I roll in my car I can’t even get a “Hello.” (I Wish - Skee-Lo; guessed by Doug)
17. Oh, you probably won’t remember me. It’s probably ancient history. I’m one of the chosen few who went ahead and fell for you. I’m out of hope, I’m out of touch, I fell too fast, I feel too much.
18. Please tell why my car is in the front yard and I’m sleeping with my clothes on. Came in through the window last night. And you’re gone. (My Own Worst Enemy - Lit; guessed by Doug)
19. Don’t need the police to try to save them. Your voice will sink, so please stay off my back or I will attack and you don’t want that. (The Power - Snap!; guessed by Doug)
20. Tomorrow morning I’m hitting the dusty road . Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go. I’m gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to me.
21. I sat on a mountainside with peace of mind and I lay by the ocean making love to her, with visions clear. Walked the days with no one near and I return as chained and bound to you.
22. Mary, Mary, Mary, it`s quite contrary. Yo, how did you earn your dough? You didn’t finish school you ain’t got not job. But to the human eye it`s pretty simple. (Live and Learn - Joe Public; guessed by Doug)
23. Now here came Margarita and her friend Shirley Temple. I asked my friends about Margerita. He said that Shirley was a virgin and I wouldn’t want to meet her.
24. With the light in our eyes it’s hard to see. Holding on and on to what we believe. With the light in our eyes it’s hard to see. I’m not touched but I’m aching to be.
25. I met God this afternoon riding on an uptown train. I said, “Don't you have better things to do?” He said, "If I do my job what would you complain about?"

Around the Tubes - 4/14/11

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on The Paus Riser Show, Friday Night Lights, Saving Pelican 895, The Steve Miller Band, The Stoned Family Robinson, Urban Legend, Homeland, and TruTV Upfronts.

- After a twelve year hiatus, Paul Riser is returning to NBC tonight. And even though it didn’t even exist back then, Paul will be live Tweeting during both the east and west coast broadcasts @PaulRiser. Until then, here is a preview of what you can expect:

The Return of Paul


- In other NBC premiere news, just a reminder that Friday Night Lights returns for its final season tomorrow at 8:00.

- One of the striking photos out of last summer’s gulf oil spill were the oil soaked pelicans and next Wednesday at 9:00 HBO will profiling one of those pelicans with Saving Pelican 895 showing its recovery to be able to live out in the wild again.

Trailer

- The Steve Miller Band will be releasing their latest album Let Your Hair Down next Tuesday and will be promptly touring it behind it starting Saturday. Head over to SteveMillerBand.com for dates and locations.

- Just a reminder for all the stoners out there, next week is 4/20, and if your eyes are not too glazed over, on the day, you can download a free e-book of The Stoned Family Robinson.

- New series Urban Legend premieres Monday at 10:00 on Syfy. Check out a sneak peak below:

Urban Legend “Best Laid Plans”


- Showtime recently picked up Homeland to series and now you can see Claire Danes in action by heading over to YouTube and watch a sneak peak of the show.

-TruTV recently had its Upfront and here is some new out of the event (not including Police POV, which premieres Sunday at 10). The big news it the cable channel picked up the off-network rights to ABC’s Wipeout. Returning next season will include Hardcore Pawn, Black Gold, Full Throttle Saloon and Lizard Lick Towing. And here is a rundown of the eight new series you can expect on TruTV:

SEMI-PRO (working title) – In this league, the players have all the heart … and half the talent. It’s semi-pro football, where grown men live the dream of winning a championship, or at least hitting the bars after the game. Over the course of a season, SEMI-PRO follows a colorful group of semi-tough, semi-good players as tempers flare and rivalries burn. SEMI-PRO comes to truTV from NFL Films.

MOTOCLASH (working title) – World MotoClash is the race of a lifetime: It’s known as the longest, most dangerous motorcycle race in the history of the sport. And getting there is half the battle. truTV takes an inside look at what it takes to make it in this intense race. MOTOCLASH comes to truTV from RD Independent Productions and executive producers Tony Scott, Ridley Scott, Mary Lisio and David Zucker of Scott Free.

GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS (working title) – If you want to set a world record, take a few lessons from the Pumphrey brothers. Craig “The Professor” Pumphrey and Paul “The Human Bulldozer” Pumphrey are Guinness World Record holders who coach others on the ins-and-outs of being best on the planet. GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS comes to truTV from High Noon Entertainment (Cake Boss).

IMPRACTICAL JOKERS – The IMPRACTICAL JOKERS are four lifelong friends on a mission to embarrass each other to the max. Since they were kids, Sal, Murr, Q and Joe have dared one another to do the most ridiculous, humiliating public pranks imaginable. Now, to find out who’s best under pressure, they’ll compete in unbelievably awkward social experiments – all recorded by hidden cameras. The loser must do the most mortifying challenge ever. IMPRACTICAL JOKERS comes to truTV from NorthSouth Productions (Say Yes to the Dress).

CHILL – Joe O’Donoghue, or “Joey Ice,” is a frenzied, profanity-spouting, modern-day Michelangelo in frozen H2O. Customers don’t go to Joey for typical ice sculptures. Joe and his Brooklyn team specialize in over-the-top, outrageous, never-before-seen creations. But with goods that can melt or bust to pieces, a potential disaster is always just around the corner. CHILL comes to truTV from Entertainment One Television (Haven, Hung) and Left/Right (Showtime’s This American Life).

SOUTH BEACH TOW – Tremont Towing is a family-run business in beautiful South Beach, where every day is spring break. The problem? There isn’t nearly enough parking. With plenty of confrontations, hilarious interactions and a slew of unpredictable situations, it’s never a dull moment at SOUTH BEACH TOW. The show comes to truTV from Nuyorican Productions (DanceLife) and Bodega Pictures.

HOLLYWOOD TAXI – Mike Grasso is a veteran driver who has cruised the streets of Hollywood more than 34 years. Today, he presides over a fleet of 290 cabs. From celebrities to partiers, HOLLYWOOD TAXI captures the wildest rides in Tinseltown. HOLLYWOOD TAXI comes to truTV from Irwin Entertainment (Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew).

BEAR SWAMP RECOVERY – Owned by a large Sicilian family, the crew at Bear Swamp Recovery in New Jersey repossesses what others simply can’t. And business booms in the summer, when the shore is overrun with careless vacationers and crazy locals who think the rules don’t apply to them. BEAR SWAMP RECOVERY comes to truTV from Bischoff-Hervey Entertainment (Scott Baio is 45...and Single, Beverly Hills Fabulous).

Previewing Happy Endings

There are basically three types of sitcoms: the kinds that you quote for days after an episode airs (raise your hand is you repeated Raj Koothrappali’s newest drunken catch phrase repeatedly since he uttered it last Thursday), the kind where you laugh about as much as a viewing of Schindler’s List, and the kind where after viewing you remember laughing few times, but cannot remember what exactly was funny about it. Happy Endings falls into the third category.

Happy Endings follows a six pack of Friends in various states of relationship. In the premiere tonight, Elisha Cuthbert (House of Wax) leaves Zachary Knighton (Surfer, Dude) at the altar putting their status within the group in question. Caught in the middle are their married friends Eliza Coupe (Scrubs) and Damon Wayans, Jr. (Dance Flick) as well as single Casey Wilson (Saturday Night Live) and Adam Pally (Taking Woodstock) who are just looking for a good man, or most times, an available one.

Going with the bad new first, Happing Endings is coming out after each network debuted their own Friends revival (Perfect Couples, Better with You, Mad Love, Traffic Light, but it did beat out Friends with Benefits which still does not have an airdate) but the good news is it is the funniest of the bunch, which, of course does not say much. Still you have to scratch your head at the person who thought Cuthbert would be decent on a comedy and Knighton, who has about as much comedy in his background, does about as good as delivering a laugh line. Coupe clearly has the best chops on in the cast, but much like Olivia Munn, she is stuck in the uptight housewife role. And with a name like Damon Wayans, I expected more from the comedian that playing Coupe’s lapdog husband. Then there is who Pally plays the straightest gay homosexual on television since Will Truman but it is clear most of his “gay” jokes were written by heterosexuals.

With its shortcomings, there are still enough laughs to keep me watching including a spit your drink moment in the premiere when Knighton founds something out about a new beau he tries to make Cuthbert jealous. And every episode seems to have one completely out of left field joke that will make you rewind to make sure you heard what you think you just heard. It is too bad they did not go all out and add even more of those jokes throughout the episodes.

Happy Endings premieres tonight at 9:30 with back to back episodes and regularly airs Wednesdays at 10:00 starting next week. There are currently pages for the show on Hulu and iTunes so presumably you will be able to stream and download the episodes there after they air.

The Funniest People on Television

This week is a boon for new comedy. Comedy Central kicked it off Sunday with the first ever Comedy Awards. Drew Carey's Improv-a-ganza premiered yesterday. Norm McDonald debuts his Sports Show tonight. Tomorrow ABC expands its comedy block to three hours including an hour of new show Happy Endings. NBC continues its three hour block Thursday with the return of Paul Riser to network television. If that is not enough funny for you, next week HBO is airing a special Talking Funny featuring four of the funniest out there: Ricky Gervais, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock and Louis C.K. talking about their craft. So I thought to myself, self, how about coming up with the funniest people currently on television to celebrate the comedy boon. So here are the ten people that give me the highest laughs per episode ratio:

1. Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)
2. Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
3. Karl Plkington (An Idiot Abroad, The Ricky Gervais Show)
4. Kenan Thomason (Saturday Night Live)
5. Eden Sher (The Middle)
6. Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory)
7. Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)
8. Ariel Winter (Modern Family)
9. Bill Hader (Saturday Night Live)
10. Donald Glover (Community)


But who cares what I think, I asked Kim over at TVScreener to create her own list and here are her favorite funny people:

1. Tina Fey (30 Rock)
2. Charlie Day (It’s Always Funny in Philadelphia)
3. Bill Hader (Saturday Night Live)
4. Nick Offerman (Parks and Recreations)
5. Larry David (Curb Your Enthesiasm)
6. Kaitlin Olson (It’s Always Funny in Philadelphia)
7. Joel McHale (Community, The Soup)
8. Craig Ferguson (The Late Late Show)
9. Justin Kirk (Weeds)
10. Danny McBride (Eastbound and Down)


I also asked sometime contributor to the 9th Green Doug and here is what he came up with:

1. Chelsea Handler (Chelsea Lately)
2. Tracey Morgan (30 Rock)
3. Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
4. Rico Rodriguez (Modern Family)
5. Busy Phillips (Cougar Town)
6. Jane Krakowski (30 Rock)
7. Ariel Winter (Modern Family)
8. Loni Love (Chelsea Lately)
9. Erin Gibson (Infomania)
10. Sarah Hyland (Modern Family)

Previewing Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza

Drew Carey is returning to prime tonight on GSN and no his daytime game show The Price Is Right is not moving to the PM, but he is launching a new improv show Drew Carey’s Improv-A-Ganza. You might think to yourself, that sounds just like his old show Who’s Line Is it Anyway? And you would be correct; it is just like Who’s Line Is it Anyway? to the point that many of the cast members like Greg Proops, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Brad Sherwood, Chip Estin, and Jeff Davis are also on the new show. And Carey’s old pal Kathy Kinney (you may know her better as Mimi) also shows up. Also the breakout star from the original, Wayne Brady also pops up in an episode.

Really the only difference is Drew actually gets on the stage as there is no official judging like the original and there is much more audience participation, from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, this time around. And Brady is not the only one making a special appearance, and the show will be getting an extra dose of Tiger Blood during one of the episodes when Charlie Sheen shows up. Conspicuously the only footage that GSN has released was Sheen hugging everyone on stage and none of his improve skills, but considering his tour reviews, and, well, the rest of his life, I expect it will be a train wreck. If we are lucky it will be The Situation at the Donald Trump Roast bad.

Drew Carey’s Improv-a-Ganza airs weeknights at 8:00 and 11:00 on GSN starting tonight with forty episodes set to air. The Charlie Sheen episode airs tomorrow (Tuesday). Below is a preview of the show and a behind the scenes look.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/10/11

The Event: How James Bond villain of them to order the death of the token hot chick only to let her burn up in a fire. What, would putting a bullet in her head been too messy? But anyway. It looks like the president was too stupid to put a GPS in the buses. Not surprising. But I like how he is getting seriously paranoid more and more with every passing episode, the glance he gave his wife at the end, essentially questioning if she is indeed non terrestrial. Can’t say anything else in the episode was particularly as interesting. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Event on iTunes.

Castle: Just last week I complained how Alexis was too goodie-goodie and this week she gets in a catfight. It is about time they gave her some edge. But of course I just happened to be eating some pizza when I watched this episode. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Lights Out: Well that was a depressing, if not unexpected, ending. Though it would have been interesting to see where The Justice League, as Barry put it, would go next season, not having a sophomore season may have been for the best. Watching someone lose there mind is not high on the things I would like to watch list. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Lights Out on iTunes.

Survivor: Redemption Island: How do you talk about the game rewarding big moves, then not execute your big plan? It is hard to root for Matt again at Redemption Island for making such a boneheaded move. But big boneheaded move goes to Boston Rob, when Matt tells you that the other tribe is willing to give him an immunity idol, you tell him to get the idol from them. What sucks is this season has been begging for a bold move since Russell got voted out, and now we are set for another month of the lemming following Boston Rob until the former Zapatera is eliminated. Ugg. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Justified: I guess nothing could have possibly lived up to Boyd’s tease that he figured out what Mags was doing. A land grab to limit driving access is not very sexy. I am a little surprised that the Loretta storyline came to a head already. I thought they would save that for the season finale. But I am disappointed that she was not the one that exacted revenge on her father’s behalf. I guess there are still two Bennett’s left, but I do not see her escaping Foster Care to hunt down Mags. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: Oh drunken Raj, who would have guessed he would out catchphrase Sheldon’s Bazinga. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.

Outsourced: Out of all the dumb bets I suffered through during college, I am glad no one thought of pepper roulette, I am not sure if I could have made it past one game. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Outsourced on iTunes.