57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/31/12

Once Upon a Time: Of course the Mad Hatter is the only Storybooke character that know who he really is. Which begs the question how did Lewis Carroll find out about the fairytale land?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: That Spam turkey looked really awesome.

House of Lies: I do not know what it says about me that I have talked up my mixtapes the same way Doug does. I even made a 9/11 mix. On the bright side, I have never had sex with my boss’s daughter to get back at me for screwing me over.

The Voice: And we are done with the Battle Rounds. Thank goodness. Even though I approved the expanded Blind Auditions, I could do with less Battle Rounds, The could have easily gone eight battles a night over three weeks instead of six over four weeks. Or just shorten it to two weeks and lumped a bunch of the battles via montage.

Even though Ashley De La Rosa lessened the shock of montage singers making it to the live shows, it is still shocking to Karla Davis and Moses Stone advance, especially Moses who defeated the four chair turners The Line (for those keeping track at home, that is two four chair turners sitting at home right now). I am going to miss the duo and their laughably bad sexual chemistry. And Orlando Napier really screwed himself by letting Adam switch their song from Rich Girl, which was right his blue-eyed soul alley to Easy which suited her mellow vibe more. But anyone who does not know the entire Hall and Oates catalogue should not be on a singing competition in the first place.

But as bad as the Battle Rounds have been, it was nice that NBC forced some synergy and let Community’s Jeff Winger and Dean Pelton close the show with an epic romantic duet.



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can download songs by the winners in the widget at right. And be on the lookout for my Top 24 Power Rankings tomorrow.

Castle: You know what; I could really do without the subplot of Castle telling Beckett he loved her when she was shot. That can go away. Unfortunately looking at the promo for next week, which will not be going away.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Justified: I have long considered this season a four person chess match between Raylan, Quarrels, Boyd, and Limehouse, but I forgot a very important piece on the board of Dickie Bennett and his three million dollars which could go to the winner of the match (and I would venture to say at the very least the dead last loser will end up, well, dead).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: How dare Tarzan even suggest that Kat should be voted out? Without her, who would there be to fart on people and ask the meanings of fairly common worlds? Actually I hope that the next Survivor All-Stars season is Morons vs. Masterminds with Kat as the queen moron. Speaking of morons, how dumb are the people who lost the Reward Challenge? Of course the “secret” letter that Probst gave the winners was going to tell them there was a Hidden Immunity Idol, so why not spend the time while the winners were away to search for it?
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: An epic fail on the wardrobe department. Seriously, how hard would it have been to have three distinctively covered coats so we could tell the teams apart?
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

Community: Now that Chuck is over, is Community the next low rated series on NBC that Subway is going to save? Kind of an evil genius marketing ploy that I am surprised more companies are not getting on. Speaking of evil, is the newly goateed John Goodman the same Dean of the air conditioning school from earlier this season or is he from the evil timeline? I cannot believe that was a coincidence.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 3/30/12

Quote of the Week: We just shot the guy that’s looking to kill the guy you’re dying to see dead. (Art, Justified)

Song of the Week: Zou Bisou, Bisou – Megan Draper (Mad Men)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Trayvon Martin: I am not going to pretend I knew what happened during the shooting like many of the talking heads on television or the internet, but I will saw the Stand Your Ground Law is the dumbest idea ever in the history of dumb idea. It gives carte blanche to anyone who “thinks” they are being threatened, but if that law was ever instituted here I would fear threatened just for walking outside not knowing that someone having a bad day with a gun could take homage of a perceived slight from me.

Preview Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: Pilot - Don't Trust the (Expletive Deleted) in Apartment 23 (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Save up to 62% on Select HBO Favorites (Game of Thrones, Rome, Eastbound and Down)

New Album Release of the Week: My Head Is an Animal - Of Monsters and Men

New DVD Release of the Week: Eagleheart: Season One

Video of the Week: Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest acoustic metal band of all time is back. Yes Tenacious D are releasing a new album. And for those wondering what the band has been up to since The Pick of Destiny bombed at the box office, this video, complete with Val Kilmer, and, um, Josh Grobin, should catch you up.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Shameless, Sunday at 9:00 on Showtime: A lot went down last week with Karen giving birth to an Asian kid that her mother took from the hospital, Steve Jimmy giving his identity to his wife’s boyfriend, Harry Hamlin got naked, oh yeah, and Monica slit her wrists. All those plotlines play out tonight with some shocking endings (and Hamlin’s appearance proves not to be a one off as Ian runs into him is a surprising situation). And for those disappointed at Fiona’s ability to keep herself fully clothed that last couple episodes, you should be happy with tonight’s episode.

Around the Tubes - 3/29/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Dallas, The Borgias, Nurse Jackie, The Big C, Full Metal Jousting, Craigslist TV, Hungry for Change, Kid’s Choice Awards, and The Song That Changed My Life.

- TNT has released another teaser campaign for their upcoming Dallas reboot giving a nod to the famous “it was all a dream” twist from the original run when a very not dead Bobby walked out of the shower. The new incarnation hits your cable box June 13.



- The Borgias, Nurse Jackie, and The Big C all return next weekend, but for those that cannot wait for their returns; you can find them on show.com, YouTube and maybe even on your OnDemand channels.

- For fans of Full Metal Jousting who wonder what it would be like to joust against one of your friends, here is a video of Paul Suda and Josh Knowles talking about putting their friendship aside when they went head to head in the first quarterfinal.



- A new season of Craigslist TV starts up tomorrow on YouTube. The first episode of Season 4, "Be My Bodyguard" features JT, a Whitney Houston-obsessed karaoke host, as he searches for a Kevin Costner-esque "bodyguard" in LA.

- From now until March 31, you can watch Hungry for Change for free over at gaiamtv.com. The movie exposes shocking secrets the diet, weight loss and food industries don't want you to know. Discover the deceptive strategies designed to keep you craving more and more.

- With the Kid’s Choice Awards this weekend, SodaHead.com has conducted a poll of the most popular family entertainment over the past three decades from music to music.

- New program alert! Premiering on BYUtv this Sunday is The Song That Changed My Life where artists like Tony-award winning Broadway star Lea Salonga and Billboard chart record breaker, Grammy-award winning Duncan Sheik talk about that one special song that made them realize that could or should make music themselves.

Previewing Wicked Tuna

For anyone who like fishing or listening to Boston accents, I have a show for you: Wicked Tuna. (Full Disclosure Notice: I hate Boston, I hate Bill Belechicken, I hate the roided up Red Sox, I hate Ben Affleck, I hate Marky Mark, I hate Mitt Romney, I hate Jimmy Fallon, I hate the Boston dude from The Voice, I even hated the Boston season of The Real World; Boston is one step above Jersey Shore on the annoying places scale) The series follows around five boats (only three are shown in the premiere episode) sailing out of America’s oldest seaport, Gloucester, Mass looking to hook them a bluefin tuna.

Stakes are high because every time they head out to sea will coast them about $3,000 between fuel and other costs of fishing so if them come back without a catch, they are out a lot of money. But catching just one bluefin can bring you into the black on the trip and you may need to catch multiple fish just to make money on your trip. Keep in mind that catching bluefin tuna is not as easy as throwing out a line and coming back empty-handed is a real possibility especially when you are fighting against the other boat and other dangers at sea.

Even though the fisherman are the main focus of the show, Wicked Tuna does touch on the very real realities of overfishing that have dwindled the bluefin tuna over the year to the point one scientist called them the bison on the sea. National Geographic has even set up a website for Wicked Tuna that features an in-depth article on the history of how bluefin got where they are today (they are currently classified as a “species of concern” by the government), as well as information and links to the many different stakeholders in the survival of this species.

Wicket Tuna airs Sundays at 10:00 on the National Geographic Channel. But who cares what I think about the show, you can actually watch it yourself over at natgeotv.com or on the National Geographic Facebook page. For those that want to wait to watch it on your television, check out the trailer below:

Trailer

We’re Gonna Party, Karamu, Fiesta, Forever

It is a shame that time has almost completely forgotten Lionel Richie. He was on the eighties music Mt. Rushmore with Michael Jackson, Prince, and Bruce Springsteen but is now put into categories with other cheesy eighties acts like Culture Club. Like most eighties acts, the nineties were not kind to Richie, it probably did not help he went ten years in-between releasing a new album after the smash hit Dancing on the Ceiling. Even worse, last decade he became known primarily as Nicole Richie’s dad even though he released an otherwise ignored solid Coming Home album.

Know like many pop acts of the past decade that saw their record sales go south, Lionel is going country. But unlike someone like Jessica Simpson, Richie has a history in country, writing Kenny Rogers’s number one country hit Lady. Also Lionel is taking baby steps into the genre rerecording thirteen songs from his catalogue for Tuskegee with a who’s who of country stars from Blake Shelton (Lionel has been mentoring Blake’s rivals currently on The Voice, so hopefully a performance will be soon coming on the show), Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles (who will be competing against Richie on the upcoming vocal competition Duets), recent country convert Darius Rucker, and of course Kenny Roger who shares his former song Lady with the songwriter.

Songs range from his Commodores days to the hit making eighties that everyone know and for those that have never heard Just for You, it comes from Lionel’s little heard 2004 album of the same name (sorry Billy Currington, you drew the short straw on that one). Not surprisingly the songs can be pretty much hit or miss, Shelton, with all the time hanging around Cee Lo Green, adapts himself well to You Are. But on Say You, Say Me, now with slide guitar, Jason Aldean and his very thick country accent really drags down the song which is probably why his voice does not pop up until the second verse. Hello gets creepier thanks to Nettles but she also overpowers the song more than what it needs.

Sail On which was the most country ready song in Richie repertoire works nicely with the added Tim McGraw vocals. And the harmonies of Little Big Town start Deep River Woman off nicely in one of the few songs where Lionel’s voice is not the first week here. The old guard of Richie and Willie Nelson suits Easy well and may even leave you disappointed that Willie has not tacked the classic sooner. Tuskegee ends with All Night Long with Jimmy Buffett and Corel Reefer Band bringing even more party to the song, along with some steel drums, with the song being as awesome as you would have expected when you saw it on the track listing. But most of Tuskegee, you are left wishing that Lionel Richie would have just recorded countrified versions of his songs by himself.

Song to Download – All Night Long

Tuskegee gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

First Impressions: Mad Men 5.x

All the pretentious Mad Men fans like to go on and on about the time jumps between season of Mad Men and how they are able to guess when the new season is taking place in no time, and this was actually the first time I actually cared enough to realize how far ahead the show went when I noticed that Baby Gene was still a baby. Although I almost thought the show went backwards in time after seeing Bobby Draper managing to get younger.

So here we are about six months later (I am still not pretentious enough to pin down the exact length of time) and apparently the new car smell might be wearing off the new Draper nuptials. As previous notch in his bedpost Dr. Miller so aptly predicted last season, Don only likes stuff that are new (she also correctly predicted he would be married within a year early last season). Note to any secretary who marries her boss who happens to have stolen someone else’s identify, throwing him a surprise party for his fake birthday may not be the best idea no matter how many awkwardly awesome Zoo Be Zoo dances you do for him at the party.

But more surprising than his party is that the marriage may actually work. Megan can play the mother that Don has be searching for all his life by monitoring his alcohol intake and she will even clean the apartment in her underwear (I bet she is up for punching him in bed too). You know that is something Betty (who thankfully was absent for the first two hours) would never do, mostly because that is something for the help and if she were to do it, she would dress in her Sundays best while doing it. Megan is Don’s mother, wife, and mistress all rolled into one. I may even take the under for number of women Don has sex with this season. Has Vegas even released their Mad Men prop bets yet?

I have long thought that Peggy Olsen would end up being the new Don Draper, she has her own secret life, but I am wondering if Pete Campbell may be filling those shoes who thanks to Peggy’s secret has his own (even if we have not seen or heard about him for about two season). And when he walked into him home in the suburbs, I actually had visions of his own Draper Manor and now has the same amount of kids as Don had during season one and even started feuding with Roger Sterling. All he needs now is his own unattractive bohemian mistress.

But the reason I continue to watch Mad Men after the boring first two seasons, is that around the third it surprisingly got funny. Well that and everyone could use more Annie Edison in their lives. There was plenty to laugh at. Bert Cooper arguing with Peggy’s hippie boyfriend, Roger and his teen bride ruining the surprise party, Lane continuing to be a creepy perv to poor effect, the unintended result of SCDP’s help wanted ad, the bean ballet, the partner’s meeting Pete’s office, Roger’s first meeting with his baby and how the baby got around, and Harry Crane’s recreation of Megan’s dance. Zoo Be Zoo indeed.

Mad Men airs Sundays at 10:00 on AMC. You can download Mad Men on iTunes. You can even buy the Zoo Be Zoo song sung by Megan Draper herself on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/25/12

Once Upon a Time: When Rumplestilskin combined the hairs of Snow White and Prince Charming, I thought he was creating a child from the hair which made me wonder if that kid grew up and became the mysterious writer. That was until I remember that would make him Emma’s brother, who he asked out on a date (but then again Luke and Leia flirted in the first fourth Star Wars movie, so not out of the realm of possibilities). Since he showed up in Storybrooke, I theorized he was banished from the fairy tale world much like Emma, and this at least this new theory would explain his existence.

Elsewhere, it is a little creepy that it turned out to be Katherine’s heart in the box; I assumed it would turn out to be an animal’s heart. Of course it can still turn out that Regina (or even Gold) had someone tamper with the results and my theory that Katherine is hanging out with Belle in the dungeon could still be correct.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: The show likes to come up to the preverbal line and then jump across it, but Mandi’s baby daddy turning out to be her own father just went way too far even for this show. Naturally whenever Mandi shows up I get visions of Tessa Altman and I glad she is off in the suburbs so she was not around for this storyline.

House of Lies: Was Pop-Up Videos even around in 2002? I thought it was off the air by then.

The Voice: I have been down with Cee Lo Green from the Goodie Mob days through his Prefect Imperfection all the way up to Gnarls Barkley (okay, no one really loved his Perfect Imperfections). But I am now out on Cee-Lo after he picked the horrible Erin Martin over the awesomeness of Wayne’s World The Shields Brothers!. But at least Dia Frampton can now rest easier now that she no longer owns the title of worst Battle Round duet in the history of the show.

I understand Cee-Lo can enjoy weirdness, but there is good weird (i.e. Heart-Shaped Box last week) but Erin is just bad weird, and even if you do like her voice, she still hit some painfully bad notes during this performance. What was almost as disappointing as Cee-Lo pick in the winner was his choice of song. Yes Tina Turner was an inspiring, but if you are going to have one of her songs, how could it not be We Don't Need Another Hero (Thunderdome)? Can you image how awesome that performance could have been, Erin was already dressed for it. And by awesome, I mean awesomely bad. I feel cheated.

Yet Erin over the Shields Brothers was not even the biggest shocker of the night, I was shocked, shocked, SHOCKED when Ashley De La Rosa, who I assumed was just a tomato can considering her Blind Audition was relegated to a montage (please note that the three singers last year just happened to go up against three finalist during the Battle Round), beat Jonathas who got all the girls in a tizzy when he auditioned. Thankfully Christina Aguilera did give him the boot now so the teen girl faction cannot vote him further than he should go. I do blame his early exit on his bad tattoos. Whoever is pictured on his arm (his wife? Daughter? Jon Bon Jovi circa 1988?) should be offended at how bad the depiction of them is. But why not show Ashley’s Blind Auction, it was not a train wreck. Did she not have a sobby enough of a sob story? (her The Voice page boasts she is a, “trilingual straight-A student”.) Or is America not cool enough to get a V V Brown song, which she performed?

Actually much like last week, upsets were plentiful this week, aside from the Shields Brothers, I would have guessed that Angel Taylor Gwen Sebastian would have an easy time getting to the Live Shows. That is seven times this season I have been really shocked by the outcome of the battle based solely on the contestants Blind Audition and how they were portrayed on the show.

One final comment: how does Blake Shelton not know Heart Shaped Box but has Get Outta My Dreams (Get Into My Car) at the ready? I think much like presidential candidates have to release their financial records; Blake should have to release the songs he has on his iPod.



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. Check the widget at left to download the songs from this episode.

Switched at Birth: Holy Rodger Dorn sighting! I guess that means Wilkie will not be going to boarding school next season because you do not bring in Roger Dorn for just one scene. Plus the deaf third wheel was a great addition to the Daphne / Wilkie relationship this week.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

The River: Of course the river will not let them leave. Not that we will get to see how it turns out.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: The problem with a great promo it can overshadow an episode and this is a prime example. With a couple more episodes left in the season, I kind of knew nothing much would come out of Raylan’s “Why wait” suggestion to Quarles and the barmaid did end squashing it. And that really made the rest of the episode feel like filler because of it. Though I came to the realization this week that even despite the plastic face, Win has some of the greatest reaction shots to Quarles’s craziness.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: I am conflicted about this week, usually I do not wish pain on anyone, but if someone deserved it, it definitely is Colton who even manage to up his douchebagary before being hauled off on a stretcher when he suggested, twice, and even to her face that Christina should jump in the fire so she does not have to wait to be voted off. I would have live to see Christina manage coup and vote Colton off instead with an Idol in his pocket, but I am glad he is gone by any means.

But what know? It was an odd bit of editing that they gave so much screen time to someone who was gone before the merge to the point the only other people I know that are left are Kat and Tarzan and I only know them because they are complete morons (or is it Troyzan that is the idiot?). Should be interesting who emerges as the leader without Colton there. Hopefully it is not Alicia. And I was really disappointed that they did not vote right after the merge, I have longed for the time Survivor would have a surprise vote before anyone has time to strategize.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Bent: I am glad to have Landry Clarke back on television, but I am not entirely sure what the show is all about. It seems to me the show should have been a hour long drama that just happens to be funny because it is not funny enough to be a sitcom. And just how many failed sitcoms is NBC going to give the male lead whose name I have not bothered to learn because his shows never stick around? Plus naming him Riggins on a show with Landry Clarke is a bit distracting.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bent on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: My favorite part of the episode was the running temperature gauge. My second favorite, how CT dove right in after the dude said not to.
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

Community: Of course Fresh Stewart was playing a French Stewart impersonator who was now too old for the role. Welcome back Community.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Awake: My favorite part of this episode was the name: Kate Is Enough. It nice to see a show that takes itself overly serious would name an episode so cheesily.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.