Breaking Down the 100 Greatest Television Characters of the 00’s

Before you read this post, check out The 100 Greatest Television Characters of the 00’s if you have not already.

When I decided I was going to lists to commemorate the greatest of the decade, I knew it was going to be hard as I already put way too much thought into my end of the year ones. But The 100 Greatest Television Shows was relatively harmless as the top ten was pretty obvious for the most part and I didn’t even quibble very much with the other ninety. Then I started trying to rank the greatest characters from the decade. Really anyone I listed in the top ten could have been a worthy number one. And of the five different trial runs I made, I had some characters move sixty different places from list to list. And some of the lists from here on out will be just as hard if not harder. So look out for a new Greatest of the 00’s list coming sometime next month (especially for all the dudes out there). Until then, here is a breakdown of The 100 Greatest Television Characters of the 00’s.

Shows with Multiple Characters
Friday Night Lights – 8
Lost – 7
Chuck – 7
Arrested Development – 6
Rescue Me – 6
Veronica Mars – 6
Ed – 5
Greek – 4
Knights of Prosperity – 4
Angel – 3
Everwood – 3
Everybody Hates Chris – 3
Firefly – 3
My Name Is Earl – 3
Pushing Daisies – 3
The Big Bang Theory – 3
Castle – 2
Dead Like Me – 2
Deadwood – 2
Rome – 2
Smallville – 2

Characters by Main Occupation
Student - 24
Fire Fighter – 6
Sales Clerk – 4
Scientist - 4
Doctor – 3
Manager – 3
Mercenary – 3
Owner – 3
Soldier - 3
Crime Fighter – 2
Detective – 2
Grim Reaper – 2
Janitor – 2
Lawyer – 2
Private Investigator – 2
Salesman – 2
Sherriff – 2
Special Agent – 2
Homemaker – 2
Waitress - 2
Cab Driver – 1
Captain – 1
Car Dealer – 1
CEO – 1
Coronel – 1
Cook – 1
Crime Scene Investigator – 1
Executive – 1
King – 1
Leader – 1
Magician - 1
Mechanic – 1
Medium – 1
Principal – 1
Prisoner – 1
Security – 1
Singer – 1
Socialite – 1
Delivery Man – 1
Watcher – 1
Unemployed – 1
Writer - 1


Characters by Original Network
NBC – 27
ABC – 18
FOX – 12
UPN – 10
WB – 8
CBS – 6
FX – 6
ABC Family – 5
HBO – 4
Showtime – 3
TNT – 1

Actors Who Appear Multiple Times
Adam Baldwin (John Casey, Jayne Cobb)
Nathan Fillion (Mal Reynolds, Rick Castle)
Ian McShane (Al Swearengen, Benjamin Silas)

Character without a Last Name – 5

Title Characters – 6

Characters Who Died - 6

Characters not in the orginal Cast - 14

Youngest Character – Louise Brooks

Oldest Character – Harvey Lipschultz

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XCVII

Quote of the Week: You can feed him in his wife beater onesy. (Tara – Sons of Anarchy)

Song of the Week: Welcome Daddy (Ashlee’s amended lyrics version) – The Sisters of ZBZ (Greek)

Big News of the Week: Politicians Behaving Badly: The week started off with the lames patrician bickering ever over Barack Obama’s speech to the nation’s children. Shouldn’t be something that all presidents to? But of course the religious nut jobs were all up in arms just like the liberal communists were back when the original Bush did. Sometime a speech to kids is just a speech to kids. But watching the speech, someone should have told Obama he was talking to a bunch of ten year olds because he sounded like he was giving one of his stump speeches. Granted he only has two gears of speaking, the stump speech and his bored out of his mind delivery.

That wasn’t the only speech Obama gave this week as he took yet another bite of primetime to pitch his health care plan. And like most addresses to Congress, the only reason to watch is to watch the unintentional comedy of the Congressmen like who gets caught sleeping because let’s face it, these addresses never actually say anything new. And the one on Wednesday didn’t disappoint. Usually the highlight is the parties trying to out cheer/boo each other at certain lines, but one Republican congressman went so far as to shout “You lie!” after Obama said his health care plan wouldn’t cover illegal immigrants. Classic. This overshadowed another Congressman who had in his lap a “What Bill?” sign. We are inching closer to the good old political days of Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton which I am all for.

Coalition Links of the Week:
It premieres and it sucked. We mean that in the best way possible when it comes to The Vampire Diaries. (TV Fanatic)

George's funeral, a married Alex and Izzie; BuzzSugar gets a peek at the upcoming sixth season of Grey's Anantomy. (BuzzSugar)

This week, Sandie interviewed Stana Katic who plays Detective Kate Beckett on Castle. (Daemon's TV)

Vance breaks down the new Fall 2009 TV shows and why he is or isn't going to watch. (Tapeworthy)

With your favorite season premieres just around the corner, we shared our Top 5 most anticipated new comedies and dramas. (The TV Addict)


Tool Academy: I am not sure who wins the Moron of the Week Award, the “Special” Tool for blurting out, “Okay, I (explicative deleted) her” in front of his girlfriend, all the other Tools and the entire VH1 viewing public, the Dancing Tool who tried to explain just how much he loves his girlfriend by saying that he is dating her and doesn’t even have a Asian fetish (and then continue to keep digging after that comment), or the Redneck Tool for bursting a condom on his head. And that still didn’t hurt as much as the beating he got from his girlfriend. Naturally the Rednecks would react as if they are on Springer. But after the “Special” Tool confesses comes the most bizarre segment ever where almost all the guys there started confession their infidelities one after other. You can stream current episodes over at vh1.com. You can also download Tool Academy on iTunes.

Greek: Here is where I usually start off the review with “Holy (insert a favorite character’s name here) sighting!” But who do I go with Dr. Harold Abbot or Dwayne Wayne? Although I am not ready for Dwayne Wayne to have a twenty year old daughter. I wonder if Whitley is the mother. You can stream current episodes on Hulu.



Leverage: Having Eliot just happening to be at the drop spot to keep Parker from being assassinated was a lame plot point, but I will forgive the show simply because the slo-mo lunge with the flowing hair was absurdly cheesy in a funny kind of way. You can stream current episodes over at tnt.tv. You can also download Leverage on iTunes.

You can also check out my First Impression of Sons of Anarchy 2.x and The Locator and Adoption Diaries.

Free Download of the Week: Community (Amazon Video on Demand): Community may not be the best new show or even the funniest new comedy of the fall season (that goes to Modern Family), but you can check out the first episode of the show before it airs.

Deal of the Week: Fall TV Event: $20-$30 (Rescue Me, Chuck (Blu-Ray), Mad Men, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip)

Video of the Week: One of the great things about Hulu is they occasionally add criminally underwatched show (Arrested Development remains one of the most watched show on the site). Thanks to the recent partnership with ABC, here is another show many of you didn’t watch the first time around but should check it out now: The Knights of Prosperity which recently ranked in at #21 on The 100 Greatest Television Shows of the 00’s. All thirteen episodes are available to stream, here is the first one. If enough people check it on Hulu, maybe we will be lucky enough to get the show in DVD for. Now if only NBC would do the same for Ed (#4) and I will be a happy camper which actually came from the same producers of Knights of Prosperity.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Survivor: Samoa: The granddaddy of reality show is back for its nineteenth and it looks like this will be a bells and whistles free season, they are even dumping Exile Island this go around. As for a preseason pick, I would go with John. He is a rocket scientist for goodness sake (granted the last one didn’t last long).

57 Channels and Only This Is On: Special Edition part 1

A couple weeks ago I realized I never got around to giving full season reviews of many of the past year’s programs. But I figured since the introduction of 57 Channels and Only This Is On this past year it seemed redundant to waste a whole post reiterating this I have probably said earlier. Even though I didn’t want to write up full reviews for each show, I did want to give each show a rating on my Terror Alert Scale. So here in a sort of television in review I’m going to give a quick though on each show (no seriously, I can write short things) and then give it a rating. If you want to go more in depth of my thoughts on each show, than click its label at the bottom of the post.

Everybody Hates Chris: One of the most consistent comedies on television, but even though that means there are no bad episodes, there really are not too many great episodes either. Plus you never know which long forgotten black actors that are going to pop up with this season seeing Jimmie Walker and Todd Bridges making appearances. Everybody Hates Chris 2.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.



Greek: Typically I avoid shows that can qualify as a guilty pleasure but since it aired during the summer when there is nothing else on it makes it less guilty. Plus the show is on the high end of guilty pleasures thanks to its sometimes high brow humor with jokes about Dick Cheney and Ronald Reagan (thanks to Frannie, the pseudo-conservative sorority president who is one of the most entertaining characters on television). Aside from Frannie the rest of the show was pretty hit or miss. Greek 1.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. Download the whole season of Greek on iTunes.


Heroes: I’m not sure what is annoying, the Lost fanboys that would have you believe the show is still as good as its first season or the Heroes fanboys who ignore some humungous flaws, most notable it is poorly written and its acting is even worse. Then some of the secondary heroes (see Radioactive Man, Invisible Dude, the Haitian) are much more entertaining than the main ones like. Hearing Cop needs to die. Split Personality Chick needs to die. Absorbing Guy needs to stay dead. And wouldn’t you know, the three worst characters were all seen in the future. Then the show went and broke the cardinal rule of shows like this and didn’t kill off the Big Bad. Shows should never recycle Big Bads. Maybe if they kill off the three characters above, have the new Big Bad kill off Sylar early (after he repents for his sins), start turning Hiro dark (because he is already starting to get annoying), and bring in Rob Thomas (no, not the dude from Matchbox Twenty) to write for Kristen Bell and maybe Heroes can finally live up to the hype it got in the first season. Heroes 1.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. The show also won an Scooter Television Award.



How I Met Your Mother: The show hit a big sophomore slump this year. But I guess that would happen when Ted spends the entire season tied to someone we already know is the mother in question. Added to that the show spend too much time trying humanizing Barney. I prefer my Barney with no redeeming qualities. How I Met Your Mother 2.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.


Knights of Prosperity: One of the biggest crimes against humanity was this show never finding an audience thanks to ABC screwing with its scheduling then saying they couldn’t find a slot for it this fall though they found one for Cavemen as well as finding a reprieve for According to Jim. The show did rival My Name Is Earl in terms of laughs most of the time although never did quite have any instant classic episodes like Earl had this season (more on that later). The absurd cast was cast of characters were instantly likeable including Rockefeller Butts who had me on the floor every time he opened his mouth. Knights of Prosperity 1.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. The show also won two STA’s.


Lost: The show recovered a little after suffering one of the worst sophomore slumps ever in television history. And the show looks to be curing one of its worst ills, boring flash forwards (seriously did anyone care anymore when we found how Locke got in his wheelchair), with the shocking introduction of the flash forward in the finale. And I know I may be in the majority, but the two random people-centric episode was up there as one of the best in the series history just because how inane it was. I laughed more during that episode than I did during an hour’s worth of some sitcoms. Lost 3.x get a on my Terror Alert Scale. The show also won two STA’s (five lifetime).




Check back later this week for part 2.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXXII

Big News of the Week: ABC Is Starting to Get on My Bad Side: So last week I was overjoyed to finally see the final four episodes of the funniest new show of last year, Knights of Prosperity, only for the channel to squeeze an episode of According to Jim in-between two installments. Then ABC quietly pulled the show (for those keeping track for the third time as well as an unannounced time change) due to ratings along with The Nine. Seriously ABC, did you think that putting these two shows back on the air with no announcement after they were both already canceled in the dead of summer and they would all the sudden start pulling in ten million viewers?

ABC is starting to get down to the last straw and really only have one chance left (i.e. not yanking Pushing Daisies before Thanksgiving) before it goes on the list next to Fox as channels that are blocked on my television. Just to show you how long I hold a grudge, the Fox channel has not graced my television since the series finale of Arrested Development. But luckily ABC didn’t pull a Fox and make you get the DVD set to watch the unaired episodes because the final two episodes, one where the gang tries to recruit an actual criminal and the other with a cameo from Ed Burns over at ABC.com. In fact you can watch all thirteen episodes there. So if you have four to five hours of free time, it will make for a good marathon session.


Jim Rome Is Burning: When all the late night host were on vacation this week with repeats, Jim Rome instead pulled a Carson and had guest host fill in for him all week. After seeing Adam Carolla fill in for him he may rethink the guest host thing in the future. The guy may Dan LeBatard seem competent. But luckily for us viewers Carolla was so bad it became entertaining. You’d think a guy who hosted the Man Show would be more comfortable talking sports. Below are two segments from the show although no one uploaded the best segment where he interviewed a baseball player where Carolla obviously ran out of questions out half way threw and just starting the most inane questions:





While I am on the subject of sport, if there is anyone interested in getting beaten like a red-headed step-child participating in my fantasy football league shoot me an e-mail (see sidebar). Anyone is welcome from fanatics to those that just started watching football because of Friday Night Lights.

Also another off note topic for those with blogs of your own, there is a new start up feed reader fav.or.it that sounds promising as it says it will fix one of the big problems with current feed readers in that you will able to comment from the reader. It will be interesting to see if they can actually deliver, but currently they are blog submissions for when they launch, so if you have a blog of your own, you may want to head over there and submit yours to fav.or.it. If your are looking for a feed reader to use until then, I highly recommend Bloglines.

Greek: That was just like three sitcom episodes wrapped into one hour long show. The slumber party was easiest the best of them but I was surprised to learn that it was Lonelygirl15 that sent the sex tape to Casey. Didn’t see that coming. The other two segments were pretty cheesy, Rusty’s thanks to some bad casting of the crazy hot chick. She certainly was able to pull off the hot part but went way overboard on the crazy. Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.

Slacker Cats: I got a sense half way threw the episode that you pretty much have be a cat lover, or at the very least know a cat to enjoy this show, neither of which apply to me. There were a couple good laughs though. Download the current season of Slacker Cats on iTunes.

Rescue Me: Just when I started to wonder if I forgot if Tommy’s dad died, he finally made his first appearance of the year. I get a sense that the actor may be having some heath problems as he never appeared with the other actors and was absent from wide shots. Hopefully everything is all well. And hopefully we get more intervention scenes because that ranked pretty high on the best scenes of this season. Then we end with yet another surreal scene with Tommy and Mike on his roof and Tommy jumping over the edge to make a point.



Trapped in the Closet: Wow was that disappointing. The first couple chapters spent too long with Sylvester and Twan, one chapter was barely a minute long, some of the twists were just not interesting or rehashes of past reveals, and seven chapters in and still no midget sighting. There were some glimmers of hope so far with some classic lines and Chuck being in the hospital was an actual shocker so hopefully Kells can turn it around in the last three. And I am going to go out on a limb and say that the pimp in the church is who the midget was scared of ealier. Check out all the aired chapters of Trapped in the Closet at ifc.com.

Pick of the Week: Umm, any suggestions?


And since there really anything to talk about coming up next week, I received some information about the new CW show Reaper, you know, the one show that is taking over the Veronica Mars time slot (strike one). It is also the show that repeatedly hypes being directed by Kevin Smith as if he actually has any involvement past the first episode and some dude behind Grey's Anatomy (strike two). And it seems like I hear or see something new about the show it makes me less interested like when they swapped out the token hot chick for the chick from Heroes which was a total downgrade (and strike three). And from the five minute promo they sent along I am less intrigued as the show looks like it has not decided if it wants to rip off Ghostbusters or Army of Darkness more (but fails to do either very well). But I guess I should hold off final judgement until I see the whole thing in its entirety (that is not to assume I will even bother watching it though).


REAPER

Day and time: Tuesdays, 9:00-10:00 p.m. ET

Network debut: September 25, 2007

Format: Blending suspense and humor, “Reaper” follows Sam, a slacker whose world turns upside down on his 21st birthday when he learns that his parents sold his soul to the devil before he was born. Now, charged by the devil himself to be Hell’s bounty hunter, Sam, with the aid of his goofball friends, must track down evil-doers and send them back where they belong.

Cast:
Bret Harrison as Sam Oliver
Tyler Labine as Bert “Sock” Wysocki
Ray Wise as the Devil
Missy Peregrym as Andi
Rick Gonzalez as Ben
Valarie Rae Miller as Josie
Donavon Stinson as Ted
Andrew Airlie as Mr. Oliver
Executive Producers: Michelle Fazekas, Tara Butters, Mark Gordon, Deb Spera and Tom Spezialy

Official Site: http://www.cwtv.com/shows/reaper

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXXI

Big News of the Week: More Rumors: If there is one think I hate about the internet it is how rumor become facts almost instantly. There was another one that popped up this week that will go unmentioned because it doesn’t deserve any more ink (or virtual ink as you may). When on the internet I rarely stray from big name site like ESPN or MSNBC yet I saw this rumor just spread like wildfire everywhere else. Just to show you how bad it was, my mom actually mentioned it this week. The actress at the center of the rumor was even on the Late Late Show Thursday and the rumor wasn’t even mentioned wasn’t even mentioned in the part I saw (my tape cut off because an unannounced half hour Master special pushed back the show, stupid CBS). So to all that posted about this and like rumors, when the next one inevitably makes the rounds, just think of the Timex Social Club song before you spread it.

Greek: Wow, they actually gave Lonelygirl15 more than one line. He character is easily the most entertaining on the show so hopefully she continues to get more screen time, but they hooked her up with Rusty a little too soon. He did a little too quick of a U-turn from trying to get far away from her just minutes earlier. And hopefully his roommate makes more appearances at Kappa Tau because he trying to convert Spitter’s brothers could be great. Not so great continues to be Casey and Evan. Why should we root for a couple who cheated on each other when we first met them? Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.

Rescue Me: Well I was wrong that Lou would end up getting the baby, but it is doubtful that Janet will let Sheila keep the kid so he may get it eventually. But that was a really creepy start of the episode with the fire in Tommy’s head although the chief was conspicuously missing. I wonder if he will ever show up again after his vocal comments out the door. And does the fire mean that is the last we will see of his brother and cousin?



The Knights of Prosperity: Oh Rockefeller Butts, how have I missed you? The gang was still in fine form, but who knew Ray Romano was funny. Had I known this maybe I would have watched Everybody Loves Raymond. His “serious” acting was classic. Coming in a close second though was Gary sing Summergirls in his cab (see below) and you can still watch the whole season at ABC.com.



Pirate Master: I’m definitely ready for this to end. I am getting to the point of not caring who wins. Watch the current season of Pirate Master on Innertube.


Pick of the Week: Trapped in the Closet, All Week, IFC: It has been too long since the last installment of Trapped in the Closet leaving us pondering such questions as how does the cop know Chuck and Rufus? Who send the Midget that he didn’t want to give up even though the cop had a gun in his face? How does the narrator fit into all of this? Why was Twan in jail? Where did R. Kelly get the inspiration for the overweight southern white woman (which is the highest of all high comedy)? But for the next two weeks we get a new chapter debuting everyday over at IFC.com/trapped. I am a little worried that Kells will be going overboard as he already plays two characters, Sylvester and the Narrator, and from the preview it looks like he raided Eddie Murphy’s closet and will be playing even more characters this time around. But really as long as the next chapters are just half as good as the previous one’s I’ll be happy. Over at the website you can currently review the previous chapters and check out the character map (should I know who Roxanne is?). And once again here is the recap/preview Chapter 12.5 to hold you over until Monday:

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXX

Big News of the Week: Rescue Me Now on iTunes: For those who accidentally miss an episode or just like watching your television show on small screen you can now download the current season on iTunes. You can download the current episodes that have aired already or buy the season pass for $25.99.

Greek: Last week I mentioned the most entertain part of the show so far were the blink and you miss them cameos from Lonelygirl15 and I must have blinked because I missed her if she showed up last this week. Although they didn’t really need her this week as the episode was as solid as the first episode but without the dull points. I was a little disappointed that the sport they went with was floor hockey. If you are going with an iconic college intramural event you have to go with broomball or at the very least flag football. And no matter how much it is over done, the utilization of the slow motion for comedic effect works every time. Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.

Rescue Me: This season by far has been the most uneven of the series and the show may have had the first potential jump the shark moment last week with Tommy holding baby what-his-name over the rail. Tommy has done some despicable things over four seasons but this will bring him to the point of being unredeemable. Not that I am all that worried for the welfare for the kids considering the out of the blue admission from Lou that he know wants kids. All this after what started out being a great episode with one of the most intense fires in the history of the show.

Pirate Master: Finally caught up online this week after the show got ranked from television last week. Oddly I can carve out an hour to watch the show every week at a specific time yet it is more daunting to watch the show at my leisure over the internet. But anyways. I did correctly predict that they would shake up the show last week and the number dwindling by eliminating the captain mates and lowering the number of black spots to two. The more surprising twist being the captain gets to keep all the gold and they retired the royal pardon (something they did a little too soon). Krista replaces the creepy dreadlock dude who is promptly set adrift two weeks ago and gets annoying by the next episode like every other captain before her. But I was surprised it took this long to think about throwing an expedition, this time with Jay trying to keep Krista in power. During the run of creepy dreadlock dude I’m surprised that no one thought about throwing one to get him out of power. Watch the current season of Pirate Master on Innertube.


Pick of the Week: The Knights of Prosperity, Wednesday at 8:30 and 9:30 on ABC: Even though were in the middle of the heart of summer, there are a few things worth watching this week including the return of Meerkat Manor on Friday on the Animal Planet and next Sunday is the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav (on a side note: if anyone watches Mission: Man Band on VH1 this Monday, I will totally think less of you and may even publicly mock you for doing so). But for my money must see TV is the brief return of Let’s Rob Mick Jagger Ray Romano. The show at times rivaled My Name Is Earl as the funniest show on television only to be screwed time and time again by ABC first yanking it from the fall schedule only to debut it against the National Championship Game, Later going head to head with American Karaoke only to move it to a half an hour earlier without any announcement. The show was then yanked again hours before the Ray Romano arc was supposed to start because the president said it wanted to re-launch the show at a later date. But when the show didn’t end up on the new ABC schedule the president of the network said they just couldn’t find a spot for the show yet he was able to find a spot for Cavemen which doubtfully will make it to Thanksgiving. So we only have four more episodes of the show, two being burned and the other will presumably will next week. And just so ABC continues its extremely poor scheduling decisions, the show alternates every half hour with According to Jim so you can’t just watch an hour of the Knights. For other networks who hope to kill off their own great shows just see the above template. If you want to catch up on the show, ABC.com still has all the previous episodes available for streaming.


On a completely unrelated note, I heard the most absurd thing the other day and I just had to share: Someone told me that Rihanna’s Umbrella was a metaphor for a woman’s downstairs lady parts. Can anyone confirm or denied this? And if this is true please don’t tell me what the line, “Now that it’s raining more than ever” means in this metaphor (especially if the song was written by R. Kelly). But if it is or isn’t there is a good chance the next time I am out at a club and see a token hot chick pass by I will turn to my nearest drunken buddy and say, “I’d sure like to stand underneath her umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh.” And is it wrong that I have started to like this song solely because of this rumor?

3rd Annual Scooter Television Awards

Welcome to the 3nd Annual Scooter Television Awards honoring show that aired new episodes between June 2006 and May 2007. I will save the explanation of certain winner's when I do a comprehensive review of that season in the near future (for the reviews I done already check out my Terror Alert Scale archives). Before we get to handing out the awards, let me take time out for the obligatory memoriam section, so cue up It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday and pour some chocolate milk out Randy style out for the homies that are no longer with us:

Big Chubby
Charlie Pace
Dean O’Dell
Don Lamb
Future Paining guy and his girlfriend
Knights of Prosperity
Linderman
Mindy O’Dell
Random Castaways
Shaft
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Veronica Mars
Zeke

Now without further ado, here are the winners of the 2007 STA's:

Best Scripted Show: Veronica Mars

Best Sitcom: My Name Is Earl

Best Cable Show: Rescue Me

Best Reality Show (Game Show): The (White) Rapper Show

Best Reality Show (Documentary): Ice T’s Rap School

Best Talk Show: Pardon the Interruption

Best New Show: Friday Night Lights

Best Awards Show: Big in 2006 Awards

Best Hour of TV: Mud Bowl (Friday Night Lights)

Best Half Hour of TV: Two Balls, Two Strikes (My Name Is Earl)

Worst Idea: Not Killing Peter the Five Times they Teased It (Heroes)

Best Shocker: Lost’s Flashforward

Best Promo:



Best Song Placement: What’s Left of Me - Nick Lachay (Veronica Mars)

Best Karaoke: Ronnie singing Bad Day (Veronica Mars)

Hottest Token Hot Chick:





Best Character: Dick Casablancas (Veronica Mars)

Best New Character: Landry Clarke (Friday Night Lights)

Best Guest Appearance: Mick Jagger (Knights of Prosperity)

Best Cast Addition: Juliet (Lost)

Most Entertaining Reality "Star": Brooke Labaraba (The Real World: Denver)

Best Quote: “It’s my job to make sure you don’t grow up stupid; it’s bad for the world.” (Tammi Taylor, Friday Night Lights)

Show That Should Be Brought Back: Veronica Mars

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XI

Quote of the Week: People ask, are we ready for a black president.? Why not, we just had a (expiative deleted) one. (Chris Rock, Late Night with Conan O’Brien) 

Song of the Week: You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol (Smallville) 

Big News of the Week: Look at all these rumors, surrounding me everyday, I just need some time, some time to get away. It seems like every year the “who will get another season and who won’t” discussion starts earlier and earlier. It got into full swing this week as someone posted that Veronica Mars was canceled. That was then retracted minutes later but that didn’t stop people from thinking the show wasn’t coming back for a fourth season. 

Now I fully understand that Veronica Mars is definitely on the bubble, but I have a hard time believing someone who writes in the “gossip” section of an internet site. Making me believe even less was the “Exclusive!” tag in front of the post. Whenever I see exclusive anywhere, I usually take it to mean, “I wanted to be the first even though it may not be true.” There in lies what is wrong with all these gossip writers, they care more about being first than being right. This individual gossiper is one of the worst as they have been wrong when it comes to executive decisions than right yet there is no accountability. Nor do we ever know who the “sources” are. Not only do we not know who the sources are, we don’t even know why they are reliable. 

Of course this begs the question how some that is wrong so many times have “reliable” sources. Now onto a rumor that I actually hope is true. Word from a just as unreliable source as the one who “broke” the Veronica Mars story is that Knights of Prosperity may actually get a second season despite being unceremoniously pulled from the schedule two weeks ago. This unreliable source says the head honcho over at ABC loves the show so much they will give the show a second chance hoping that it will pick up viewers in the second much like The Office. Keep in mind this is from a completely unreliable source, but if this is true, ABC should keep in mind that in that second season, The Office has the hilarious My Name Is Earl as a lead in so they better have something great in the pipe to help the Knights of Prosperity find an audience and I’m not talking about the proposed Caveman show and definitely keep it away from In Case of Emergency, According to Jim and the George Lopez Show. Even though it is still currently off the air, you can still stream every episode of Knights of Prosperity over at ABC.com. 

Lost: A surprisingly solid episode this week considering I figured the “shocking connection” a year ago and hate the whole Desmond seeing into the future storyline. Like I predicted, Claire and Jack share the same father, leading to yet another castaway with daddy. But Claire was disturbingly attractive with the dark hair. And back on the island, Charlie lives another day. Yippee. But once again, the best part of the episode happened away from the beach as Locke is back to his ambiguous ways. Not entirely sure what his motive is with bring the C4. But more intriguing was that Eye Patch Man let it slip that Not-Henry isn’t “Him.” I’m still putting my money on Penny’s dad being the “Him” behind everything along with all the other daddies of the castaways leading back to the whole daddy issue thing. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.

Smallville: I’m totally surpised that the wedding went off as planned, I never thought Lana would go threw with it ever since they got engaged. But it was nice to see evil Lionel back in full force. I always thought that Lana wouldn’t actually come to term, but now I’m not so sure. But I am beginning to think that the big mystery behind her pregnancy is that she is a test subject for a biologically engineered meteor freak.

Pick of the Week: Bring it On: All or Nothing, Sunday, 8:00, ABCFamily: Okay so it is a slow week, but I got a press release along with some pictures for the movie which is apparently the third in the franchise, granted I totally missed the second. Those Heroes fans that like the show but are disappointed that Claire’s cheerleading team got disbanded and since stopped wearing her cheerleading outfit, this movie is for you as it stars Hayden Hayden Panettiere as, of course, a cheerleader. Also along for the ride is Beyoncé’s sister, Solonge Knowles as her rival. And for all of those missing Claire in her cheerleading outfit, below is a picture to tie you over (over at my sister site, Scooter McGavin Takes Pictures, you can view all the promo pictures I have including one I posted today that is most likely to get you visit from Chris Hansen) along with the press release:

 

BEFORE SHE HAD TO SAVE THE WORLD, TV’S HEROIC CHEERLEADER HAYDEN PANETTIERE HAD TO “BRING IT ON: ALL OR NOTHING” SMASH HIT DVD MAKES ITS BROADCAST DEBUT ON ABC FAMILY MARCH 25th The Film Also Stars Solange Knowles-Smith (“Johnson Family Vacation”)

Burbank, CA (February 26, 2007) — In the third film of the “Bring It On” series, the sassy yet spirited cheerleaders bust out with hotter moves, hotter music and hotter dance sequences when “Bring It On: All or Nothing” airs Sunday, March 25 (8:00 – 10:00 PM ET/PT). Life is good for Britney Allen (Hayden Panettiere), making her the envy of all girls at Pacific Vista High School. She’s beautiful, captain of the cheer squad, has the perfect boyfriend and is the front runner for homecoming queen. All comes to a halt when her father’s job moves them out of their posh neighborhood forcing Britney to join the squad of her rival, Crenshaw Heights High School. Despite Crenshaw Heights’ tough head cheerleader Camille (Solange Knowles-Smith), Britney proves to be a force to reckon with and secures a spot on the squad. Britney and her new squad work vehemently together to prepare their routine to audition for an opportunity to perform on television with pop star Rihanna (as herself). In a heated competition, Britney finds herself in a cheer-off between her new squad and old -- but only one can be #1!

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. X

Quote of the Week: My father isn’t a racist, he is just stupid. (Stan, South Park)

Song of the Week: It would have been Summergirls by LFO as sung by Gary on Knights of Prosperity but that episode didn’t air without any warning instead replaced by a repeat of According to Jim which leads us to:

Big News of the Week: ABC: The new Fox. In a move that really didn’t shock anyone, ABC pulled the funniest new show of the season, Let’s Rob Mick Jagger, off their schedule. What stings more is that the less funny and lower rated In Case of Emergency remains on the air which screams they are doing so because they know they will get more out of DVD revenue if it full of never before seen episodes. Surely these are moves that would make the Fox executives proud. And it is moves like this that may make me considering boycotting the network much like my boycott of the evil empire.

Okay that ban may wait because ABC has a long way to get to the quantity of great shows Fox canned before the series hit the double digits numbers of episodes (by my count there was The Lone Gunmen, Undeclared, Firefly, A Minute with Stan Hooper, Keen Eddie, Wonderfalls, The Jury, The Inside, Point Pleasant, Reunion, umm, did I miss anything?). ABC says that the show is not canceled, but it wouldn’t be the first time a network has said this before only for the show never to be seen before. Although if ABC brings it back and gives it the post-Dancing with Has Been’s and Never Were’s all will be forgiven. Maybe.

Granted in the perfect world, NBC would pick up the show and plant it in-between My Name Is Earl and The Office (which would be a much better fit for the show than in-between According to Jim and The George Lopez Show), but the TV Gods hate me so that will never happen. Want to see why I’m so upset, ABC still has (as I write this) all the episodes available for streaming over at ABC.com.


Heroes: With the debut of new heroes, Shape Shifting Chick, I realized my biggest problem with the show, I like the secondary heroes more than the main ones, If they dump Thought Hearing Guy, Multiple Personality Chick, Osmosis Dude, Future Paining Guy for the Invisible Man, Nuclear Guy, Internet Girl, and Shape Shifting Chick the show would be much better. Speaking of Osmosis dude, please, please, please let him be dead. Unfortunately this will most be how he got the scar Future Hiro was talking about.

I’m also beginning to think Ando is the real star of the Japanese tandem. Although I get a feeling that Ando is working more for Sulu to keep taps on Hiro and before the end of the season and will pull some WWF style heel turn by hitting him in the back with a steel chair after ripping off his shirt to reveal another one underneath that read “I (Heart) Sulu, But Only in a Platonic Way.” With the show going on hiatus, we got a bunch of big reveals and cliffhangers, aside from Peter’s haircut and Mohinder on the ceiling; we finally got a glance of Linderman. It was nice that the character was played more low keyed as opposed to some comic book villain. But we were only left with more question about the guy like what exactly does he know and how does he know it.

The other big reveal was that mama Petrelli and the Haitian were in cahoots. I always thought that she knew more than she let on but I never saw that coming. And much like Linderman, we were left wondering what exactly does she know and how does she know it. Anyway, after a bumpy start, Heroes is finnaly kicking into high gear. Now let’s hope that Peter doesn’t make it to the next episode. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.



Australia’s Next Top Model: after seeing the premiere episode I know now how important Mr. and Ms. Jay are to the American version because the show is just boring without them. What worse is I happened upon the winner making me care even less about this version.



Lost: Yet another boring flashback - Sayid regrets his time in the Republican National Guard, we et it, move on - as least the island story was a good one. Surprisingly even though they just teased a couple of episodes ago, we actually got to meet the eye patch dude this week. Somehow Sayid know he’s an Other and there was another Other there which led to the surprising death of the black chick. What exactly is so big going on that the two are willing to kill themselves instead of taken capture. And if the war between Dharma and the Others is true, how did the original hatch workers survive without being wiped out by the Others? Did the Others let them be because they new the button needed to be pushed but didn’t want to do themselves? Next week we are promised a “surprise connection” between two survivors. Well unless it is Jack and Claire being half-siblings as that won’t be too surprising since I predicted it back in May of last year (see: Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 15). Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.



Survivor: The one tribe continued its winning streak, yawn. At least they are switching up the tribes next episode. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.




Promo of the Week: Wondering how I knew that Summergirls would have been on Knights of Prosperity? Well depite being taken off the air, Eugene Gerkin is still updating to his YouTube channel. Here’s is that video of Gary singing the song:



Pick of the Week: March Madness, Thursday 12:00, CBS. The greatest two days of the year, from noon until midnight we get the first round of the NCAA tournament where most brackets are won or busted. The brackets are announced later tonight and be sure to check back tomorrow as I share my initial picks.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. IX

Quote of the Week: I’m just trying to figure out which Gilmore Girl you are. (Ronnie to Wallace, Veronica Mars)

Song of the Week: I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclamers (How I Met Your Mother)

Big News of the Week: February sweeps are over and this week we are in the full swing of reruns. And with mid-season replacements like The Black Donnellys, The Search for the Next Talentless Singer Pussycat Doll, and Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader, there’s not much new to watch instead. Oh well, with only three and a half hours of television I’ll be watching this week should mean I’ll can catch up on my reading.

How I Met Your Mother: A heartbreaking episode that reminded me of when my high school car died and it’s falling ceiling, squeaky doors, how the back windows wouldn’t roll back up when someone rolled them down before I warned them not too, how the trunk would flood whenever it rained, and how my college roommate would blare Ode to My Car at absurd levels whenever he forced me to taxi him around. Actually come to think of it, I hated that car. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.

Everybody Hates Chris: I wonder if Billy Ocean watches this show and contemplates a comeback with all his references lately. Surely he’s good enough to get on Dancing with the Has Been’s and Never Were’s. Check out the latest episode on CWTV.com.



Heroes: Finally a episode where the show lives up to its potential. Not so coincidentally Peter and Nikki/Jessica and their family were nowhere to be found. You had the one two punch of Sulu somehow being involved with Primetech Paper, which makes you wonder how much he knows about his son, and the Invisible Man once being Mr. Bennett’s partner. But I wonder if what we saw was actually Bennett reminiscing or was an actual flashback because I was unclear as to if the Haitian cleared his mind of certain aspects of his relationship with him. Also unclear was who Julia Robert’s brother was and why he showed up at the Bennett’s or why he even shot radioactive man as I’m sure he should have had a clue as to what would happen if he did. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.



Friday Night Lights: I’m sure she won’t even get a nomination, but the coach’s wife has given two Emmy worthy performances in the past two weeks. Then you have Buddy going all Matlock on the Taylor’s notepad. But nothing this week beats Landry once again trying to hit on Tyra. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again, I really hope Tyra gets really drunk and gives Landry a ride. Or at the very least have her show up to a Stigmatlingous concert. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.



Lets Rob Mick Jagger Kelly Ripa: Ironically I hated Everybody Love Raymond but his guest spot on the show was great. But the architect DVD was priceless. Luckily it has shown up on YouTube, check out: Oswald Montecristo promo. Oh and don’t forget to checkout Rockafellar Butts Robbing Lenny Kravitz Song. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.

Survivor: You never, under any circumstance, give up immunity. Never. I really hope this comes back to bit that tribe. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.



Also check out the latest Toss Up between Lost and Veronica Mars.

Promo of the Week: Okay not exactly a promo per say but this is one of the funniest scenes I’ve seen in a while. And yes that is Chip Diller. Poor Chip, first he was part of the worst Easter Egg Hunt ever, now this:



Pick of the Week: Heroes, Monday, 9:00, NBC. After months of hearing his name, it looks as if we will get our first look at the mysterious Linderman. It’s pretty much a lock that he is the big boss behind Primtech Paper and Sulu’s company. Right?

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. VIII

Quote of the Week: If I was a little younger, a little less famous, and made a little less money, I would… (Chandler - Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip)

Song of the Week: Didn’t We Almost Have it All - Whitney Houston (as sung by Squatch and Louis - The Knights of Prosperity)

Big News of the Week: The two funniest shows on television are now available on iTunes. You can now download episodes from the latest seasons of My Name Is Earl and Everybody Hates Chris for your viewing pleasures. I’m not sure why all of the new shows that have popped up on iTunes this year only have the latest seasons available but I guess it’s better than nothing. Also showing up this week is the new comedy Rules of Engagement and you can even download the Pilot for free. Click on the names to be taken to their iTunes pages.

Heroes: Well that was anticlimactic, we have already seen Peter fly and Simone was easily the most disposable on account that she didn’t really add anything to the show so no shock there. Oh well, at least next week looks really good when Mr. Bennett gets the table turned on him. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.



Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: And they had to ran the commercial for The Black Donnellys about twenty-five times on Monday which is about twenty-five times more times than I’ll actually watch the show. It’s funny how it continually mentions the show is from the dude behind Crash (which was absolutely horrendous) yet never mentions the dudes last serialized project, Walker, Texas Ranger. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.



Friday Night Lights: One of the many reasons why this show is so good is that they can go from the funny scene with Buddy confessing his infidelity to Coach Taylor (whenever Taylor plays he annoyed but not angry scenes are my favorites after ones with Landry) and goes straight into Coach’s wife confronting their daughter after seeing her boyfriend buying condoms in a goose bump scene if there ever were one. The will they or won’t they that bogged down the second half was a little much though. Maybe I’m a little bitter that I never hear those six words uttered to me in high school. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.



Lets Rob Mick Jagger: Quite possibly my favorite episode yet. The show is at its best whenever all the Knights are together like they were locked in the panic room and the changing clock got a good laugh every time. And it looks like they will have a new target next week now that they have given up on Mick Jagger. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.

Survivor: Yeah, this have and have-nots is turning out to be the worst idea ever for the show. The better switch something up soon. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.



Don’t forget to check out the latest Toss Up between Lost and Veronica Mars and my finale thoughts on the third season of Beauty and the Geek.

The Black Donnellys isn’t the only new Must Flee TV for me this week as we also get the new Fox (naturally) game show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? And if you watch, the simple answer is no, because you, my sir, are a moron.

Promo of the Week: In his spare time from robbing Mick Jagger it looks like Eugene Gurkin like posting videos to YouTube. Below is one of my favorite scenes that he has posted but I also highly recommend Rockefeller’s Ladies, The Low Down, and The Gang Enters Mick Jagger’s Apt or just check out all of Eugene’s Videos.




Pick of the Week: Veronica Mars, Tuesday 9:00, The CW. The last episode until April and we should expect fallout from Lamb’s death, the Logan/Parker newly formed friendship and if time remains we may even find out who killed the Dean. Speaking of which, make sure you check back tomorrow or sometime before the show to see the latest round of Oddsmakers to see a round up of all the suspects. Of course you can always check up on the mystery streaming the last four episodes over at CWTV.com or download the whole season to date over at iTunes.