57 Channels and Only This Is On - 10/9/11

Pan Am: I wonder if we ever seen the former spy again? If there were a real spy show, I’d put the over/under at Christmas, but this show seems to be taking a more realistic approach, so she may be stuck in Kansas for the rest of her life.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pan Am on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: Again, the writers are just messing with us with actual characters saying they are talking way too long to get to the end of a story. That is the second time this season.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Sing Off: Scanning the playlist prior to the show I was dreading the “current hits” but give it up to a capella music to make most of them at the very least listenable, although how does Whataya Want From Me qualify as a hit if Adam Levine had never heard it before? Naturally the second half was way more enjoyable with Urban Method pulling out the best performance of the night with Dance to the Music, a song I could have sworn only had one line and one note, but they killed it (I feel as if I should give TJ Lavin royalties for saying that). And a not to future Sing-Off contestants, unlike Kingfolk 9, do not hold your best performance for your Swan Song. Then next week on The Sing-Off, Antoine Meriwether and his boys sings a song about balls. Blaine Edwards has to show up for some commentary on that.



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Sing-Off on iTunes.

The Lying Game: Holy Beck Sproles sighting! To think how much better the show would have been had she shown up much earlier. Hopefully she follows not-Emma around for a while. But I am beginning to wonder if Laurel’s boyfriend in part of the twin’s mystery, he was nosing around the photo book a while, and maybe Sutton and Emma are actually not twins, but actually triplets. Dude being a blonde kind of hurts this theory especially if my other theory that either the adoptive dad or the guy from Heroes is actually the biological father of the brood.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Castle: Frozen heads and no Futurama references? Boooooo.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

The Playboy Club: I have long asserted that the show was not a Mad Man rip off (despite Eddie Cibrian stealing everything from Don Draper) but American Dreams for adults. Case in point: the first guest singer on American Bandstand on the show was Leslie Gore. Not that any of this matters anymore. Although I hear that NBC is shopping the show around to other, possibly more skin friendly, networks, but I think “we’re shopping it around to other networks” is code for “please do not send us crap in hopes that we revive the show.”

Parenthood: It is not enough to make a drinking game out of, but this show really enjoys making Michael Cera references, two by my count in this episode along. “You’re like my musical soulmate” was a direct line from Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: I completely forgot the Tom Arnold storyline even existed. Seems a little random to bring it up now.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: South Pacific: First off I would like to apology to Brandon for repeatedly calling him a psychopath, it was wrong of me and hopefully he forgives me as I try to become a better man. Look out for next week when I end up apologizing to Stacey for laughing at how she said she did such a great job at the challenge when she could not outlast the scrawny Dawn at a weight holding challenge.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Happy Endings: When I was previewing the season I mentioned that Megan Mullally shows up at some point as Penny’s mom. Well, that episode is coming up this week and will also feature one hundred percent more Natalie Imbruglia.

Revenge: I was a little disappointed that Amy Abbott waited until off screen to release the love child to the press, c’mon, make it part of his speech where the viewer can see the embarrassment.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: My favorite part of the episode was when Penny had to explain to everyone that the handicap were inherently nice people. Though I am not entirely sure why Raj could talk in front of the deaf chick, I thought the mere presence of them made him mute; the ability of not being able to hear him just seems silly. But not silly good.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: It is a surprised with all its homages; it took them to the third season for a “noir” episode.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 10/8/11

Quote of the Week: Because you don't have a girlfriend? Good Lord, if that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons and Dragons this game is in trouble. (Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory)

Song of the Week: Hot in Herre – Nelly (as sung by Caroline, 2 Broke Girls)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: The Ax Finally Drops: Just last week the president of NBC said he came from cable where shows can build a fan base, this week he canceled both The Playboy Club and Free Agents (yet giving pull season orders to the unfunny Up All Night and Whitney). The Playboy Club suffered from poor writing and worse acting while competing against both Monday Night Football and wrestling, the two of the biggest male audiences on television. Even more painful was The CW got into the action by pulling the plug on H8R before my episode of H8R where the producers of H8R ambush me for H8Ting on H8R even aired. CBS sort of had a cancelation; the network headscratchingly had Rules of Engagement by itself on Saturdays but before it aired its first weekend episode, it has been moved to Thursdays behind The Big Bang Theory with How to Be a Gentleman banished to the Saturday timeslot, essentially canceling it when it runs out of episodes. So let’s cue up It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday and take one last look at Amber Heard in her bunny suit.



Free Download of the Week: No Strings – Mayer Hawthorne (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Plenty of decent albums this month including a few noteworthy Greatest Hits packages from Huey Lewis, The Steve Miller Band, Styx, and possibly the greatest title for a Greatest Hits album from Jimmy Buffet: Song(s) You Know By Heart.



New Album Release of the Week: Ashes & Fire - Ryan Adams

New DVD Release of the Week: Chuck: The Complete Fourth Season [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: Monday sees the return of Swamp Men at 10:00 on the Nat Geo Wild for third season and in the first episode back a novice gator handler learns to catch one with his bare hands while the other handlers try to rescure a baby alligator. Check out a preview below:

Baby Alligator Rescue


Next Week Pick of the Week: Last Man Standing, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC: On paper this show does not look particularly good, nor does it look particularly good in motion either, yet for some reason I may end up watching this. It does star Loretta McCready, so maybe Raylan Gibbons may show up at some point. I and for the degenerate gamblers out there, I bet Vegas is already taking bets on when Zachary Ty Bryan and/or Jonathan Taylor Thomas show up.

Musings From the Back 9: New Shows Edition

The Playboy Club

When every critic bemoaned that The Playboy Club was simply just a simple Mad Men rip off, I came to the show’s (and the upcoming Pan Am, look for the review tomorrow) defense saying The Playboy Club was a rip off of Mad Men because they were set in the same time period would be like saying Mad Men was a rip off of American Dreams. But now that I have seen the first episode, Eddie Cibrian (Invasion) completely steal Don Draper’s cadence is really distracting and it is not a good sign for the show that Cibrian’s speech managed to be more distracting than Amber Heard (Hidden Palms) in, or out, of her bunny costume. Sure if there is anyone who can reach Don Draper level of douchebag, it is Cibrian who does not even need to act to pull it off, but he did not need to also copy his speech patterns.

It is also not a very good sign when Heard is your strongest actor on the show. The other bunnies range from bland to over the top to painful to watch. Jenna Dewan-Tatum (Melrose Place) falls in the latter category as a bunny that is dating the bartender who, surprise, is not happy that he has to watch his girlfriend get ogled every night. Laura Benanti (Starved) is the house bunny whose lip syncing was so distractingly bad, I thought I was watching an episode of Glee. Naturi Naughton (3LW) is simply the token black chick who says something sassy at the end of every scene.

Even though she came across as only a caricature of a Playboy bunny, Leah Renee (Runaway) started out by having the only interesting part of the first episode, hiding a deep dark secret from her co-workers. Was she some sort of Gloria Steinem undercover spy? Did she have some vendetta against Hugh Hefner and was using the job to get to him? Nope. Her husband is gay (and she may or may not be a lesbian, it is unclear at this point) and is the leader of some underground gay homosexual society. What?

The Playboy Club airs Mondays at 10:00 on NBC. You can stream recent episodes over at Hulu.com. You can also download The Playboy Club on iTunes.


2 Broke Girls

Ever since they broke up How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory, neither has really shared a timeslot with anything else worth watch. 2 Broke Girls (when it moves to 8:30 next week) looks to break that trend. Kat Dennings (Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist) is the queen of snark and if Beth Behrs (American Pie Presents: The Book of Love) can find some subtleties in her socialite character could be the breakout star of the television season. And who knew Garrett Morris was still alive? But they need to find a new cook because dude got annoying quick. Is Vic Tayback available for the role? (Wait, unlike Morris, he actually is dead? Nevermind.) But I really like the running tally of money at the end of the episode and I have a feeling that number will go down almost as many times it goes up.

2 Broke Girls airs Mondays on CBS. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.


Whitney

Whitney Cummings (Comedy Central Roasts) created two shows on the schedule this fall and just based on first impressions only, she clearly chose to star in the wrong show. 2 Broke Girls was filled with laugh and set up an interesting premise for the future. Whitney is a bland relationship sitcom from the nineties that tries to update the format with unfunny crass jokes. The show is also reminiscent of crappy sitcoms that NBC usually orders for midseason but ends up burning off during the summer (100 Questions, Friends With Benefits). The only thing you can get coming away from the show is wondering just how bad is the Chelsea Hander sitcom that Whitney made it to air first is. A couple years back NBC tried to launch a Wednesday comedy block before it moved 30 Rock to Thursday about two weeks later and dropped the other one. I would not be at all surprised is either Up All Night or Free Agents (hopefully the latter) gets the Whitney timeslot before we start handing out candy to trick or treaters.

Whitney premieres Thursday at 9:30 on NBC. You will be able to stream episodes over at hulu.com. You will also be able to download Whitney on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 9/18/11

Quote of the Week: I know there’s alcohol at high school parties, I watched Friday Night Lights. (Max, Parenthood)

Song of the Week: Everlasting Light / Tighten Up – The Black Keys (Free Agents)

Big News of the Week: The Fall Television Season Starts this Week: I am still trying to figure out how I am going to watch six hours of television on Monday alone. Here’s hoping something gets canceled.


The Lying Game: I guess it is not that surprising, I guessed it early on, but we actually got confirmation that the parents knew the twins mother who is now in some mental hospital. Now I wonder if maybe if Heroes guy or the other guy will turn out to be the father. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Weeds: It has so long since they talked about him, I completely forgot Stevie even existed. But then again the show likes to randomly bring up characters they forgot about like when Heilia showed up a couple weeks ago.

Parenthood: I am not one to comment on people’s looks, glass houses and all, but whoever is the hairstylist on the show needs to be fired for whatever she put on top Haddie’s head. And if that was the actress’ decision, they should kill her off for that. There is no excuse for a bad perm mixed with a Jheri curl in 2011. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Holy Machete sighting! The Sons better okay that deal because that is one dude I do not want on his bad side. Interesting both Clay and Jax are using the deal to get themselves out of the crew, even more interesting would be if the rest of the club kills the deal as I am not sure they have the votes right now. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: South Pacific: Last season, Survivor brought back two of my least favorite contestants of all time and ended up with the worst season ever in the history of the show. So this season at least had to start out better, right? Except the brought in one of those hated contestants nephew and I could have listed a hundred Survivor contestants before I would have guessed they would bring Ozzy back. But I guess I have to admit this season got off to a more entertaining start even if the eye candy was significantly down this season. Unfortunately the focus was still focused on the returning Survivors with only the unlikeable pot dealer and Cochran, who tries way too hard the only ones sticking out so far. Them and Russell’s nephew who weirdly is holding a grudge against the lingerie football player (wait, did I really write that as a profession) simply for being hot. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Free Agents: A solid start, but the show really needs more Giles in future episodes. As for the show that preceded it, I refuse to watch anything called Up All Night that does not involve Rhonda Shear. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Free Agents on iTunes.

Free Download of the Week: Bonus EP - Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band (iTunes): Bob Seger is one of the last iTunes holdout, though only a pair of live albums are the only things available to download from him currently, there is also this free six song EP.

Deal of the Week: Wilco Albums for $5 Each: With their new album The Whole Love being released later this month, for the month of September you can get every previous Wilco studio album for just five dollars (even though A Ghost is Born is not on the page, it is also that price, you just have to search for it).

New Album Release of the Week: Pearl Jam Twenty (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

New DVD Release of the Week: Happy Endings: The Complete First Season: Since Sony Television was nice enough to send this set along, let me saw a few things about it. First, for those that watched the first season and wondered why Dave was still moving out of Alex’s apartment in the middle of the season, the episodes on the DVD are ordered the way they were originally intended to air including the mysterious thirteenth episode that did not air during the first season but ABC randomly aired a couple weeks ago. Extra include some pre-air specials from abc.com and about ten minutes of deleted scenes including one where it tells you why the wedding crasher showed up half naked and in rollerblade. Also the Osama bin Laden joke, that was removed when the episode aired a week after he was killed, has been restored.

Video of the Week: New episode of Border Wars tonight on the National Geographic Channel at 10:00. Check out a preview below:

Smuggler’s Tunnel


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Playboy Club, Monday at 10:00 on NBC: I recently received a press release claiming The Playboy Club is receiving the least amount of buzz of shows airing on network this fall (along with Glee and Charlie’s Angel; while Chuck, Supernatural, and Fringe are the most buzzed about according to this list, alrighty) so let me give it a little love before joining the long list of failed NBC shows. Though I do not know how a show that is probably going to be heavily promoted during Sunday Night Football the night before and features hot chicks in bunny outfits can fail. But then again NBC could not use SNF to turn Friday Night Lights into a hit, so it is possible.

The Five Most Anticipated Shows of Fall 2011

Looking at their list of new shows you have to wonder if NBC and ABC did a bit of spying on each other, they both have fairytale based shows and shows about iconic hot chicks of the fifties (there was almost a third of seventies retreat starring Friday Night Lights Alums but the Peacock decided not to pick up Wonder Woman). But only one of each nabbed a spot on my most anticipated shows for next fall.

1. Once Upon a Time (Sundays at 8:00 on ABC) – When I first saw the description for this I was hoping for something whimsical like Pushing Daisies and after seeing the promo I was a bit disappointed with the visuals in the fairytale world but the show still tops the list of shows I most want to see. Plus it will be nice to see Diane Snyder back on free television.



2. The Playboy Club (Mondays at 10:00 on NBC) – Sure it will be easy to call this a Mad Men rip off, Eddie Cibrian certainly gives off that Don Draper douchebag vibe, but I am intrigued by the murder subplot in the promo. And seeing Amber Heard in a Bunny outfit every week does not hurt at all.



3. Two Broke Girls (Mondays at 8:30 on CBS) – Whitney Cummings is executive producing two new shows this fall and she probably choose the wrong one to star in. Whitney looks like a bland retread while 2 Broke Girls is a better bet and looks to be greater than 2 and a Half Men (at least in quality). Really nobody does snark better than Kat Dennings. Hopefully the chick not named Kat Dennings finds her comic timing because she looks a little too ridged in the promo. Though not in the promo below, bonus points for casting Garrett Morris in the role of Mel Sharples.



4. Free Agents (Wednesdays at 8:30 on NBC) – Here is something that really was not on my radar until I watched the trailer, who new Rupert Giles could deliver a punch line?



5. Apartment 23 (Midseason likely during Dancing with Has Been’s and Nobody’s hiatus) – Ever since seeing her go head to head with Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino, I thought Dreama Walker had star potential and she is finally getting a starring role on television and looks primed to breakout. And Krysten Ritter is the perfect evil foil. It should make for a great pilot, but I am not entirely sure how they stretch it into a series. And I am not sure how James van der Beek as James van der Beek plays into this all. In the clip that ABC show they reference Paula Cole and a whip cream bikini, isn’t that his whole career? Where do you go from there?



Honorable Mention. Work It (Midseason-ish): I would have put this at number one but let’s face it, this will not air for very long, if at all. But for the three episodes that air I will enjoy it. It has been too long since Bosom Buddies has left the air.



There were some notable changes in network schedules next season, after trying to launch a three hour comedy block, NBC and ABC went back to two hours their signature nights and launch another hour block on Wednesday and Tuesday respectively. As I predicted, Chuck gets shuttled off to the Friday death slot (paired with the other fairytale show Grimm which looks like it may be this years The Cape). But the more surprising move is for the first time in recent memory; a network is airing new scripted programming on Saturdays. Granted it is only for a half hour and it is Rules of Engagement for CBS. But it should be interesting how it does and if any other network follows. Here is what I will be watching next fall:

Mondays
8:00 – How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
8:00 – The Sing Off (NBC)
8:30 – Two Broke Girls (CBS)
10:00 – Playboy (NBC)
10:00 – Castle (ABC)

Tuesdays
10:00 Parenthood (NBC)

Wednesdays
8:00 – Survivor (CBS)
8:30 – Free Agents (NBC)
9:00 – Modern Family (ABC)
9:30 – Happy Endings (ABC)

Thursdays
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
8:00 – Community (NBC)

Fridays
8:00 – Chuck (NBC)

Sundays
8:00 – Once Upon a Time (ABC)

Midseason
Awake (NBC)
Work It (ABC)
Apartment 23 (ABC)

Assessing the Fall 2011 Network Pilots

TV Guide recently ran down the pilots, eighty-two in all, which the networks are considering considering for their fall schedule. It is premature to predict what is going to be good or not since we are still two months away from any of these shows from being picked up and six months before any of them premiere. But they did not called me Premature Scooter in college for no reason so I am going to do some predicting anyway. Here are five shows I would like to make it on their respective schedules.

Wonder Woman (NBC) – Sure the scripted has been ripped to shreds online and David E Kelly doesn’t seem like a good fit guiding the show, I would certainly tune in to see Trya Collette don the red, white, and blue spandex every week.

Once Upon a Time (ABC) – Considering this is being described as “A woman travels to a town where fairy tales are real” we may have to wait until this weekend to see how well Red Riding Hood does at the box office to gauge the chances this show has to getting picked up. Though I would be more confident if a show like this came from someone like Bryan Fuller, it was instead created by two writers from Lost who seemed to do a lot of Hurley-centric episode. And it stars Ginnifer Goodwin (Diane Snyder returns to free TV!) as Snow White. NBC will also have their own fairy tale themed show Grimm from Buffy / Angel writers.

Work It (ABC) – I have waited almost three decades for a Bosom Buddies reboot and this may be as close as it gets with two unemployed car salesmen dress in drag to get jobs a pharmaceutical representative. We will also get the bonus enjoyment figuring out which of the two will go on to be Tom Hanks and the other Peter Scolari.

Two Broke Girls (CBS) – Kat Dennings, who is great with passive aggressive dialogue, staring as a waitress co-written by Whitney Cummings, a standout of recent Comedy Central Roasts. Cumming also has her own starring vehicle for NBC from the creator of My Boys.

Playboy (NBC) – Let be the last red blooded American boy on the internet to get excited to hear they are doing a Playboy Club themed show (donning the bunny suits will be the absurdly hot Amber Hear and moderately attractive Naturi Naughton and Jenna Dewan) only to be let down to hear it will be on NBC, not HBO.


And as the great philosopher Butt-Head once told his understudy Beavis, “If it weren’t for things that sucked, how would we know if something was awesome?” And this year looks like there is a bunch of crap that hopefully never makes it to your televisions.

Charlie’s Angels (ABC) – Whenever something is successful is on television it spreads like wildflower (seriously, just count the number of three different couples themed shows that have popped up since Modern Family), and that is understandable. But why do networks continue to reboot show considering every single one in the past decade has failed miserably? And as much as I would like to see Lyla Garrity kick bad guy butt in skimpy clothing every week, I just cannot see this being any good and “from the producers of Smallville” doesn’t help.

Home Base (CBS) – Speaking of failed ideas, was NFL player who goes home already failed recently? Executive producer Marky Mark is also a serious red flag.

Touched (Fox) – Seriously, how does Heroes creator Tim Kring keep finding work? Only Lane Kiffin has fallen upwards faster.

Ringer (CBS) – I hate to break it to Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans, Sarah Michelle Gellar cannot act. She is only passable when Joss Whedon is putting words in her mouth, and since he won’t and Supernatural writers will, this will be unwatchable.

Grace (ABC) – Nothing could get me to run further from a show than “from Dancing with the Stars judge” but here’s the catch, this show isn’t some crappy dance themed reality show, it’s a drama. Staring Eric Roberts. Of course it is set in the world of professional dance.

Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea (NBC) – Sure Laura Prepon was surprisingly good as Nikki Heat, but portraying Chelsea Hander (who inexplicably will play he older sister) screams unwatchable.

Partners (ABC) – No description made me laugh harder than, “Two female police detectives are fiercely loyal to one another... because they're also secretly sisters.” Actually, I may have to move this to the please get picked up pile because this may be so bad it’s good.