Saturday, February 14, 2009

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. LXVII

Quote of the Week: He’s Korean, I’m from Encino. (Miles, Lost)

Song of the Week: Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers (as sung by Raj, The Big Bang Theory)

Big News of the Week: I’m Sorry Alex Rodriquez, You’re Just a Tool: I’m not sure what was less surprising, that Michael Phelps got caught with his lips halfway down a bong pipe or that A-Roid failed a drug test. Which begs the question, what will opposing fans taunt A-Roid more about next year: his steroid abuse or hooking up with Madonna. Or option C that A-Roid will get caught up in something else will come up between now and opening day.

Coalition Links of the Week:
Buzz threw caution (and logic) to the wind and made her picks for this year's American Idol top 12. (BuzzSugar)

The smile and blond hair have a lot to do with it, but Vance still defends The Mentalist (with Simon Baker) is way more fun to watch than a procedural has any right to be. (Tapeworthy)

This week, Jace reviewed the first few episodes of Joss Whedon's new FOX drama Dollhouse, starring Eliza Dushku. (Televisionary)

Yeesh! Not even a decent Weekend Update could save a pretty dismal Bradley Cooper-hosted Saturday Night Live. (TiFaux)

Kate and Raoul rounded up all of their remaining questions about Battlestar Galactica. (TV Filter)

Tool Academy: It is pretty clear that Tommy should win because he was the only one who opted out of getting the Tool Academy tattoo. And not only did the other Tools got the tattoo but they got a huge version of the crest of it. That alone should disqualify them. And after this episode it is clear that they need to do a female version of the show. Although I am not sure what they can call it because all the common derogatory terms for females won’t get past the censors. You can also download Tool Academy on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: Leonard’s mom being a female version of Sheldon was cheesy, cliché formulaic and fracking hilarious. Her calling out Raj and Howard’s homosexual relationship may have been the funniest thing the show has ever done. The look on Howard’s face was priceless. Then Leonard made possible the dumbest mistake since Chris Webber trying to call a time-out. Just shut up and head for home. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Trust Me: The whole Conner going after a pregnant ex-girlfriend really struck me the wrong way like the writers were purposefully trying to destroy the character before the show could get off the ground. Really quite disturbing. You can also download Trust Me on iTunes.

Lost: I have this sinking sensation that soon we will be dealing with three separate time period: the people still on the island circa 2006 (or wherever they may be), the Oceanic Six circa today, and Locke circa wherever he may have been warped to via the frozen donkey wheel. Of which supposable stopped the time warp according to Jack’s dad. As annoying as the multiple warping per episode I’ll be disappointed because there are still plenty of unanswered questions I thought we would get during all the flashes.

Freshest in my mind is there are still holes in the Rousseau backstory. Like we learned that she wasn’t in fact crazy and killed her team for no reason but what exactly infected her team and why did she survive? Or how did she go from having a French accent to a strong Serbian one?

We also can deduce a few things like that Locke will come back to life because he still has to tell non aging dude where, and when, to find him after being shot by Ethan. We may also be able to assume that when Locke un-jammed the Donkey Wheel that the people still on the island won’t get warped back to 2006 but will be stuck in whatever time they last were. And considering Faraday has to tell Charlotte not to come back to the island and he starts working for Dharma, as seen in the premiere, that they are suck in the sixties somewhere.

As for the Oceanic Six, we get the most anti-climatic reveal of the show that Faraday’s mother is the person working with Not-Henry. And not a peep from Desmond who saw her in his flashback/mind warp thing. And then after making a big deal about everyone going back for two seasons, she just like oh well when just three of them show up. Although I wonder if Not-Henry knows about Penny and Desmond and deduce that she is in the vicinity to kill. You can stream current episodes over at

Lost on iTunes

Friday Night Lights: I’m not sure what was the best part of the episode, Landry listening to Skid Row, Riggins repeating Buddy’s mantra to everyone, or Herc defense as to why it is okay to have pornography around babies. Oh have I missed Herc. They really need to work him into the show more. You can stream current episodes over at

Friday Night Lights on iTunes

Also check out my First Impressions of Survivor: Tocantins.

Free Download of the Week: Money (feat. David Byrne, Chuck D, Ras Congo, Seu Jorge & Z-Trip) - N.A.S.A. (Amazon MP3): Yes you read that correctly, Chuck D and David Byrne on the same track. And the song is as weird and awesome as you would expect it would be. And for you dudes out there without any Valentines you can rest in the solace that the The 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Show is currently free on Amazon Video on Demand. For those that do, Amazon MP3 is offering up Let’s Get it On by Marvin Gaye for free today only (see banner below).

Deals of the Week:
Wild About Whedon: Save 45% on Joss Whedon TV DVDs (Buffy, Angel, Firefly)

TV Glamour Girls: Save up to 50% (Veronica Mars, Joan of Arcadia)

Save up to 65% on TV Show Bundles (My Name Is Earl, How I Met Your Mother)

Save up to 57% on New and Old Classic TV Shows (Wonderfalls, In Living Color)

Next Week Pick of the Week: Leverage, Tuesday at 10:00 on TNT: Gotta love the promo for the show that hypes “Either Nate gets his vengeance or his friends go to jail for the rest of their lives.” I am going out on the limb and predict that the latter won’t be happening. But anyways. Tuesday starts off a two part season finale of what turned out to be the best new show of 2007. Then if in time for the second part on February 24, TNT is running an all day marathon airing the previous 12 episodes beginning at 10:00 A.M.

Friday, February 13, 2009

First Impressions: Survivor: Tocantins

Carolina Eastwood: Cue It's Too Hard to Say Goodbye to YesterdayWhy Survivor. Why must you vote out the hottest chick first? It happened last season and again this season. Sure Carolina Eastwood had an annoying voice, possibly the most annoying of any reality contestant ever, but that is why God gave us the Mute button. Unfortunately her tribemates didn’t have the luxury of a Mute button which may have led to her demise.

The big draw of Survivor: Tocantins was that they were voting for people right off the truck. But much to the surprise of everybody, the top vote getters were not taken right out of Brazil but got a helicopter ride to their camps, bypassing the four hour hike in 100 degree weather. I am not sure what Sierra Reed looked more upset about, that she got the most votes our her and her strep throat had to stay in the game.

Sierra Reed of Survivor TocantinsBut that is just where the fun began, I liked that they were given the option of either searching for a hidden Immunity Idol. But I wonder why not both? Did they dig up Sierra’s Idol so she could never get it later since she choose to set up the camp and forced Sandy Burgin not to do any work after she gave up looking for the Idol? And how could she possibly not know how long ten paces are? Has she never seen a pirate movie ever in her life?

This year may also have the most famous contestant ever Tamara Johnson-George who you may know better as Taj from 90’s R&B group SWV (don’t tell me you don’t remember Weak). And to add to her net wealth is the George part of her last name that she got from ex-Tennessee Titan Eddie. Eddie also went to Ohio State, the state’s whose former Miss Ohio Candice Smith is also a contestant this season although I don’t think we got to hear a word from her yet. There is also a multi-millionaire on the show but I don’t care enough to look that up but I will just assume that it is entrepreneur Brendan Synnott. The only other contestant of note is Mormon, nudist, professional cyclist Tyson Apostol. Here are some of my predictions:

Sydney Wheeler: I'd hit that even if she hasn't taken a bathWill Be Most Loved: Spencer Duhm

Will Be Most Hated: Brendan

Most Likely to Quit: Taj

Will Be Voted Off Next: Erinn Lobdell

Most Likely to be Blindsided Before the Merge: Benjamin “Coach” Wade

Contestant I’d Most Like to Have Dirty, Dirty Sex with Even if She Hasn’t Take a Shower in a Month: Sydney Wheeler

Survivor: Tocantins Winner: James “JT” Thomas Jr.

Back Up Choice: Jerry Simms

Survivor: Tocantins airs Thursdays at 8:00 on CBS. You can also download Survivor: Tocantins on iTunes or through Amazon Video on Demand (see below):

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Around the Tubes vol. IV

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Eastbound and Down, The Closer, Heroes iStory, Tracy Jordan, Kindle 2, and free Mieka Pauley.

- In a story I broke last week, February 15th at 10:30 sees the premiere of Eastbound and Down starring Danny McBride of Pineapple Express fame. So those with HBO, cozy yourself up next to your Valentive and take a look. Before then, check out this behind the scene look at the show.

- Amy Sedaris starts up a two episode arc on The Closer this coming Monday at 9:00 as the sister of the groom and phychic who wants to help Brenda on a case which hilerity will surely follow. Check out a clip below:

- For those have yet to jump ship on Heroes, Heroes iStory recently returned with The Agent, a story that parallels Volume Four of the show. For fans not familiar with the iStory, the interactive feature at puts fans in the seat to decide the outcome and fate of the story. I get the sence it is kind of like the old Choose Your Own Adventure books from our youths. Head over to to check that out.

- Not to be upstaged by Christian Bale, Tracy Jordan of 30 Rock fame went on his own rant recently. Head over to to give that a listen.

- When the Kindle arrived, it was supposed to be the iPod of reading but a year later and I have not met anyone that owns one. Maybe with the release of the Kindle 2 it will finally catch on. It totes a 25% longer battery life, more storage (1500 books), 20% faster page turns, a Read to Me function for the deaf or lazy people like me that hate to read. So if you have $359 burning a hole in your pocket, check out the banner below. Presumably you could read the 9th Green there but I am not entirelym sure how.

- For those that do not have that kind of money to spend on luxury, how about something for free? For a limited time Amazon MP3 is offering up the entire album by Mieka Pauley for free. She is kind of in the acoustic singer-songwriter in the vein of early Jewel. So give a listen to the clips below and if you like it, you can get it for nothing as long as it is still says free.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I Want My Music Television vol. XLIII

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Get on Your Boots - U2

A fairly boring video with just the members of U2 playing in front of a green screen with just random stuff happening behind them like a more psychedelic iPod commercial. Hopefully the song isn’t n indication for what No Line on the Horizon is going to be as the song is just a weaker version of Vertigo. Luckily U2 tend to release some of the weakest songs of an album as the first single and Get on Your Boots may rival Discoteque in its absurdity.

White Horse - Taylor Swift

Oh snap! It was the friend that he was cheating with. Okay, it wasn’t that surprising. And Taylor Swift may want to sticking to videos with no dialogue.

Falling Down - Oasis

So is this video suggesting that a member of Oasis once hooked up with a member of the royal family? Does Vegas have any odds up?

Gravity - Sara Bareillies

This new Sara Bareilles video reminds me a more colorful version of Fiona Apple’s Never Is a Promise video in the look and sound which is a good thing in my book.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I Am a Weapon of Massive Consumption

It's Not Me, it's You

It is easy to tell that Lily Allen has a huge inferiority complex. She dropped a great Mark Ronson produced album but a month later it was his other album with Amy Winehouse that got all the awards. Then Katy Perry completely stole her style to the point where she should collect a royalty check, and then scored the biggest of the summer with a watered-down version of Lily’s much catchier music.

So for her sophomore album It's Not Me, It's You she tries to distance herself from her retreads. Gone is Ronson, instead replaced by Greg Kurstin (The Bird and the Bee), and gone are her attacks on ex-boyfriends (aside from Not Fair which might as well have been called Not Big part II). Instead she has bigger targets like George Bush on (Expletive Deleted) You which although catchy can get old considering the song was officially released after the dude left the album and all the attacks on 43 have been heard multiple times before (daddy issues, racist, intelligible, war mongering).

She also goes for bigger targets like God where she ponders if the Big Guy has ever done drugs, who he would vote for, or if his favorite band is Creedence Clearwater Revival on Him. Allen even gets on her social commentary hat on with the opener Everyone’s at It where she points out the hypocrisy of people who take prescription drugs criticizing those that take the illegal time. The Fear is a tongue in cheek look at today’s materialism and fame. But you have to wonder how tongue and cheek the song is with lines like “I’ll take my cloths off and it will be shameless but everyone know that’s how you get famous” considering she spent most of last summer getting her picture taken without a bikini top on.

The lack of Ronson, who may or may not be the subject of I Could Say (“Since you gone I’ve lost that chip on my shoulder, since you been gone it’s like the whole world is my stage”), is what really brings down the album. His retro horns and Motown hooks gelled really well with Allen’s snarkiness. Kurstin does bring some diversity mixing his danceable track with barroom pianos (22), techno (Back to the Start), piano balled (I Could Say), French cabaret (Never Gonna Happen), oldies folk (He Wasn’t Time) and even country (Not Fair). But not diverse enough to keep you from thinking how some of the song could have used the Ronson magic touch.

Song to Download - The Fear

It’s Not Me, it’s You gets a Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Monday, February 09, 2009

We on Award Tour: 2009 Grammy Awards

A fairly low key event this year at the Grammy’s missing the usual goosebumps moments the show is known for instead there were too many head scratching moments. Really, the big surprise of the night was Stevie Wonder performing with the Jonas Brothers. And if I am not mistaken, this was the first year they didn’t run the “Awards previously handed out earlier” segment instead opting for a “go to” to see those. Granted I am too lazy to do so. Here are some other thoughts from the night:

Bono opens up the Grammy's- Even though they were not up for any award, U2 opens up the show. Hopefully Get on Your Boots isn’t a preview of what is to come on their new album as it is just a Vertigo retread. Then we get our first awkward moment of the night with Bono throwing to Whitney Houston.

- I know they were engaged, but it is hard not to start laughing seeing I Love New York castoff Punk next to Jennifer Hudson, who takes home worst dressed award (M.I.A. gets a pass on account that she is nine months pregnant).

A very pregnant M.I.A. at the Grammy's- The biggest showdown in the night didn’t actually take place in any announced category, but between The Rock and Jay Mohr between for most uncomfortable dialogues.

- The Rock throws to the next awkward moment of the evening with Justin Timberlake rambling on about stalking Al Green or something. Granted this performance was rushed together after Rihanna canceled her performance early Sunday after she may or may not have been assaulted by Chris Brown.

- I was a little disappointed that Coldplay didn’t get served during their performance. I actually thought that was Jay-Z was doing before I recognized him. And is Coldplay winning a Grammy for Viva la Vida the musical equivalent of Barry Bonds being the home run king?

Carrie Underwood and maybe Lita Ford- Was that Lita Ford playing guitar for Carrie Underwood?

- Miley Cyrus should go back to lip-syncing Hanna Montana songs for ten year olds. Singing live just isn’t her strong suit.

- A little part of my soul died watching Stevie Wonder slumming it with the Jonas Brothers. And isn’t Superstition a little too heavy for the teens. Will they be performing Walk on the Wild Side with Lou Reed next year?

Stevie Wonder and the Jonas Brothers at the Grammy's- Do we really need a Blink-182 reunion? Certainly their sophomoric rock was fine when you’re twenty-three, but not when you are thirty-three.

- Did I miss the point of My Grammy Moment? Wasn’t it to perform with someone on stage at the Grammy’s, not having your video played on a screen behind someone for about twenty seconds? And one of the Jonas Brothers looked a little too excited during the Katy Perry performance.

- And here is why CBS is the number one network and NBC will be battling The CW soon. During their big event last week, NBC only promoted one night of television, while CBS actually spread out all their shows including upcoming ones. Although if I am Vegas, I setting the Over/Under on Harper’s Island at 5 episodes. That just looks cheesy. And can I go ahead and predict the Bride does it.

- It may be time for a Kanye West intervention. It is never a good sign when you are starting to look and dress like Michael Jackson circa Off the Wall.

- Well at least the Adele / Sugarland wasn’t as bad as when the country band joined Beyoncé onstage for Irreplaceable.

- Why is USC the go to marching band? Certainly being in Los Angeles has something to do with it. But can’t someone give UCLA a little love?

- Shouldn’t T.I. be in jail by now? Since when do we let felons just wonder the country for a couple months before repaying their debt to society? To make maters worse, I have to sit through that horrible Justin Timberlake collaboration. That should add a couple more months to his sentence.

Holy Neil Diamond sighting!- Holy Neil Diamond sighting. But how do not get an all-star chorus to sing a drunken backup like has happen in every bar for the past thirty years? That could have been the highlight of the show.

- I would like to make it known I am completely against doubling and tripling up the tribute portion of the program.

- And the least surprising part of the night was the Robert Plant & Alison Krauss sweep. And that is your 2009 Grammy’s. Yay.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. LXVI

Tool Academy: Thanks to the promo monkey who basically gave away who go kicked off this week as it became pretty apparent that M.E.G.A.’s girlfriend would turn out to be the Tool that gets her boy kicked off this wee. You can also download Tool Academy on iTunes.

Chuck: Yeah that 3-D stuff sucked. When I watch something in 3-D, I want object to feel like they are an inch from my nose not look like they just come an inch out of the television. And except for the flying knife during the elevator screen, there really wasn’t much that was 3-D worth. And they really glossed over Chuck being disturbed that he saw the Token Hot Chick killed someone. That was supposed to be the big cliffhanger and she was able to explain her way out of it in less than a minute. You can stream current episodes over at You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: So was the theme of this episodes was that I should delete that I am an award winning actor and a Safety Town volunteer off my résumé? You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Trust Me: Do Thumbthing seems like the tag line equivalent of a Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip sketch to the point I spent most of the episode thinking, they are doing everything they can to keep Do Thumbthing? And Ed made my point to the focus group because as someone who grew up with a speech impediment (or three) who had to be pulled out of elementary classes two times a week for a half hour, I found it a bit offensive. You can also download Leverage on iTunes.

Lost: Now that was a huge shocker: Rousseau was actually quite attractive in her youth. But anyways. It was odd that Sawyer would call the Polynesian Boat people Other Others because I thought Faraday and his ilk were the Other Others. I originally thought that it may be the Oceanic 6, but they don’t really need two boats, but it seems obvious that that time is somewhere in the future. So I’ll go with my old standby when I don’t know and predict that it is Whitmore people. Speaking of time travel, they should really limit themselves to one flash per episode like in the perennial time travel show of all time Quantum Leap. You can stream current episodes over at

Lost on iTunes

Friday Night Lights: What a bunch of heart wrenching scenes between Tyra telling Landry she chooses the rodeo dude and Matt telling off his mother. But at least they followed those up with the scene at Texas A&M (which Jo apparently thinks is a great school or something, I mean, it is no Kent State or anything) between Coach, Smash and the A&M coach which will go down in the anneals as on of the best Friday Night Lights scene ever. You can stream current episodes over at

Friday Night Lights on iTunes

Also check out my First Impressions of I Love Money 2 as well as my rundown of the 2009 Suiper Bowl and the ads.