Even though I mentioned the time during the latest 57 Channels, but it didn’t really don on me just how late this year’s Hip Hop Honors started until I switched over from Heroes
(seriously, when is Kristen Bell showing up, the show is really getting painful to watch). A ten o’clock start time is just way too late for a two hour special. VH1 should know I like to get to bed promptly at ten-thirty so I can get my twelve hours of beauty sleep in. The late start time is most likely because of the absolutely horrible I Love New York, although if Midget Mac sticks around I may watch. Does anyone know if he did? (Be warned if you know the answer I will think less of you as a person). But anyways. You can (re)watch the performances and more over at hiphop.vh1.com. Here are some thoughts of this year’s festivities:
- Tracy Morgan is you host this year and fails to garner a laugh. And this is why I always have to scratch my head whenever someone tries to convince me that 30 Rock
is funny because he is part of the show. Not to mention how overrated Tina Fey is. People always seem to forget she was the head writer for what is considered the least funny Saturday Night Live era ever (although the current era is trying to take that title). Yeah she was funny during Weekend Update, but that segment is idiot proof, even Jimmy Fallon was able to be funny during it. See, rants like this happen when I only get ten hours of sleep. Okay, back on track.
- They get the token female honoree out of the way earlier with Missy Elliot, the first misstep the show has had. If you insist on having a female, why not Queen Latifah, Roxanne Shanté or Mary J. Blige. I would even take the chick that sang Pump Up the Jam over her. Elliot is completely overvalued as a rapper just because of her eye-popping videos, but all her songs are mediocre at best. Her tribute was skippable with Eve, Nelly Furtado (don’t ask me what she was wearing), Ciara, and Tweet out of obscurity and yet no trash bag dresses in sight. Yawn.
- What, is the producer born Sean Combs going back to P. Diddy? I thought he was going as Diddy these days. Why bring back the “P”? Inquiring corny white dude minds need to know.
- He is out to honor New Jack Swing. I could name a dozen hip-hop artists more deserving, but I’ll let it go because long before the 9th Green existed I still made my best songs of the year lists for my own amusement and the very first list I made back in 1996 had No Diggity at number one. And to this day whenever I find myself in front of a microphone I find myself going through the whole, “Check, baby, check baby 1, 2, 3, 4” routine and sometimes bust out an entire verse depending on the audience. Fun Fact: Rump Shaker was actually written by an unknown Pharrell Williams who showed up twice last night yet for some reason was not involved in the Teddy Riley segment. But if you are going to pay tribute to New Jack Swing do you really need a Michael Jackson song? But we did find out why T-Pain uses that voice box thing because dude has a horrible singing voice.
- Wild Style
is honored next. Never seen it, let’s move on.
- Whodini is a little before my time, but Freaks Come Out at Night is still a classic. I do feel bad for the group that they were resigned to having Nick Cannon, Nelly and Jermaine Dupri as part of their tribute. They really deserve better than that.
- Harvey Keitel fills this year’s token white dude quota to honor Snoop Dogg. Dr. Dre, who has been conspicuously absent for all the Hip Hop Honors, again isn’t present this year even though half the songs performed are technically his song. Maybe he will make an appearance once he finally finishes Detox because he really need to be honored himself or with N.W.A. as a group.
- And now what I have been waiting for four years, Q-Tip, Phife Dawg, Ali Shaheed Muhammad, and Jarobi: A Tribe Called Quest. Common does a decent job with Bonita Applebum, one of the few great rap love songs, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up when the beat for Scenrio started up. You know you are a great performer when you can just spout jibberish like Busta Rhymes did, I think he only rapped four actual words from the orginal verse, and still get everyone excited, yet Lupe Fiasco flubs a line and gets universally panned. Of cource how do you mess up the BBD line? But that all paled in compairison when Tribe themslves hit the stage for thilling renditions of Check the Rhyme and my presonal favorite Award Tour.
Now that A Tribe Called Quest is no longer the most deserving to be honored next, it is time to pick someone to replace them and I think I’ll go with Slick Rick to fill that void. In fact, here are the rappers who would be honored if I were running the show (who you got?):
Slick Rick
EPMD
Doug E. Fresh and the Get Fresh Crew
Too $hort (if Dr. Dre passes)
The Pharcyde
Yo! MTV Raps (Fab 5 Freddy, Ed Lover, Doctor Dré, Ted Demme)
There are very few artists that would open up their album with another artist’s song, but not even VH1 loves the eighties more than Diddy, seriously, this guy even sampled Christopher Cross. So at the start of Diddy’s latest album Press Play, the first sounds you hear are those of Tears for Fears. But surprisingly this is the only eighties sample on the album. What’s more surpising is that as a guy who came up as a producer, Diddy handed over the production reigns for the majority of the album to those that have surpassed him in recent years like Kanye West, the Neptunes, will.i.am and the underappreciated Rich Harrison who has brought us such club bangers as Crazy in Love and 1 Thing.
The artist formally known as Puff Daddy claims the name of the album Press Play comes from what the album would make you do, sit down and press play without having to skip any tracks. Granted that concept was thrown out of the window with the release of the first single Come to Me featuring the only Pussycat Doll that I think actually sings. What exactly are the other Dolls there for, to stay in the background and do things that embarrass their daddies? But anyways. This really hasn’t been a good year for artists who over hype their albums (see Angels and Airwaves, The Killers, and Ludacris). Who would have thought that Paris Hilton would be the marketing mastermind who set the bar so low that even though her album was by far the worst released of the year, possibly ever, people actually thought it was good compaired to what they expected.
Much like his previous ones, this album is guest appearance heavy. On almost every song, Diddy brings in someone to sing his hooks ranging to big names like Mary J Blige to lesser known artist such as Keri Hilson. The best though is Christina Aguilera who shows up on the Just Blaze produced Tell Me. Unlike previous album, Diddy doesn’t push down his Bad Boy rappers down our throat, in fact there are very few guest rappers on the album as side from Big Boi of Outkast, Twista, and Nas who shows up on the Kanye West produced Everything I Love. Naturally when you throw together Nas and Kanye with Cee-Lo, one half of Gnarls Barkley, singing the hook over some great horns that sound like they are from the Late Registration sessions, you got a hot track.
Unfortunately Diddy didn’t have Kanye and Nas to save the rest of the album. The Neptunes fall from grace continues with another bland track in the album closer Partners for Life featuring the past expiration date Jamie Foxx. The back to back Though the Pain (She Told Me) and Thought You Said blend together making one extremely long ten minute song that will make you look at you watch wondering when it will end. Puffy does try out different styles which is a novel idea. The Future is his attempt at hard core militant sound in a track produced by Havoc from Mobb Deep who was also behind the boards for the grimy Hold Up. Continuing his futuristic techno from Justin Timberlake’s latest album, Timbaland adds that same sound to Diddy Rock. But it doesn’t say much about the song when it’s a leftover beat from an already poor album. But Diddy is back to loving the eighties on the will.i.am produced Special Feeling that sounds like classic Prince. Well that’s if you take out the charismatic Prince singing and replace it with the anemic rapping of Diddy.
Song to Download - Everything I Love
Press Play gets a ![Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCbHfExiuXqojow1zxkBUX6j-9BHg9IyrfzqR77jnja2Xq6dbv-7iiqMFzp_UKXGcUF9FyAHqCkNxa5uitXa5Xu2Q1OboN9-TLjsaeI1a2eoGLORU4vkTQ54l1C-_cZyn81QHyQ/s400/small_guarded.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
There were high hopes for this year’s MTV Music Video Awards after two years of well below sub-par shows. But in the end this year’s VMA’s were just as bad as the previous one with Jack Black somehow finding a way to be unfunny (and this may be a tipping point for Black after being universally panned for Nacho Libre). What was worse was for a show that has built itself of big stage productions and surprised guest, the performances seemed extremely low-budgets compared to years past and the surprised guests this year were Montel Williams, the little kid from the movie no one but movie snobs saw, and Lou Reed and the dude from ZZ Top who were most likely only there because The Raconteurs invited them. Here are more disappointing moments from the five hours of my life that I’ll never get back:
- Just as worthless as the big show was the hour and a half pre-show this basically was a vehicle for people to promote upcoming albums. Usually they have a world premiere video or exclusive interview, but nothing but two horrible performances.
- The show starts out with the chick from Kids Incorporated performing London Bridge, a song easily a lock for the Worst Songs of 2006 list. Blatant guided vocal track here as she didn’t even bother to even lip-sync half the time.
- Kurt Loder and John Norris must have something on the higher ups at the network because as MTV tries to distance itself from what it used to be (even refusing to even acknowledge it’s 25th anniversary) these two still show up every year at the VMA’s.
- Does the world really need a rock opera from My Chemical Romance? Really the world doesn’t need another album from them let along a concept album. But with the goth Sergeant Pepper garb, the creepy skeleton children’s choir, and the lead singer actually trying to sing with a fake British accent maybe the musical version of Jumping the Shark. Oh as for the premiere of their new song, it is easily a lock for the Worst Songs of 2006 list.
- Can we please end the Diddy era? The dude is now walking around with his own spokesman because he’s too elf important to talk. Really no one has capitalized on the death of someone else. Well except for all the Elvis impersonators.
- We start off the big show with Jay-Z welcoming the show back to New York City from a top of a building. This would have been a lot cooler had they not had the My Chemical Romance performance there earlier.
- Who ever decided the show should start off with a performance of a song that no one has ever heard should be fired. Worst show opening ever. When Justin Timberlake then switched to Worst Song of 2006 nominee SexyBack and brought out Big Head Timberland and a blatant guided vocal track, things didn’t get much better. What’s worse is it seems that the phrase Sexyback is going to overtake the go to phase for the corny old dudes replacing Fiddy (as in Fiddy Cent) after corny old dudes Al Gore and Jared Leto both used it.
- I kept waiting and waiting for the opening Jack Black skit to get funny, but sadly it never did. I think that it may have been the goal with the “everything going wrong” theme, but that’s just too high brow for me. Although I like how the MTV execs were the Douches. And what was with Black kissing everyone’s butt all evening? MTV really need to bring Chris Rock back.
- The first presenter is the straight from jail Lil’ Kim. Seeing her makes me wonder should you lose all the street cred you receive for going to jail but by getting released early for good behavior?
- The first shocker of the night was James Blunt for winning Best Male Video. I have a suspicion that this was a last minute decision to give him the award just to give his girlfriend some airtime.
- The least hip-hop song nominated wins Best Hip-Hop award. And up the irony quotient one of the Black Eyed Peas talked about how there is a place for positive rap as he picks up an award for a song about a woman’s naughty bits.
- Shakira and her Indian themed performance for Hips Don't Lie was probably the best of the night, but that’s not really saying much.
- Can someone please explain the allure of Jackass to me? Am I the moron for not finding naked midgets and dudes hitting each other in the testicles funny?
- Lil’ John is up next and tells everyone to get on the feet, but as the camera scans the place, everyone is as slow to get up as if a hymn started to play at church. But I can’t blame them considering it was just for Ludacris whose set looked like it was on a lower budget than most high school plays. Not a good sign for a song called Moneymaker. And had Ludacris not namedropped them, I would have never known that it was the Pussycat Dolls that came on stage at the end of the song.
- Speaking of the Pussycat Dolls, it’s sad tat we live in a world where they actually won a music award. But it’s nice that they thanked God for winning an award that tells dudes to loosen up their buttons. Classy.
- Jessica Simpson actually used the phrase “Push My Tush” while presenting the awards. I actually can feel my IQ dropping. Oh, and to follow up a story I broke here a couple days ago about her hooking up with John Mayer, just days later, Mayer posted on his blog that he really like the Public Enemy song Don’t Believe the Hype.
- OK Go redid their Here it Goes Again video with the treadmills step for step. What a waste of time. I could see the same exact routine on YouTube whenever I want, why would I want to see it live. The least they could have done was to screw p somewhere to make this performance memorable. Complete waste of time.
- What was on Paris Hilton’s head? But something has to be said that her album has been out more than a week and she has yet to perform a song live once. Even Ashlee Simpson’s people trusted her enough to lip-sync, it’s not a good sign that Paris cannot even be trusted to do that. Luckily she didn’t try doing it tonight instead she was just relegated to present the dude from Smallville and his band.
- Did some backstage dude grab Nicole Richie’s butt as she went onstage? I wonder if Nicole realized that Pink was making fun of her during her acceptance speech. I wonder if Pink realized that no one knew she was trying to be ironic.
- Did anyone else start to feel old when Snoop Dogg was talking about how all the new rappers were in diapers when he started? He then presents the Best Rap Video to Chamillionaire who said the best advice he ever got was to stay humble. Keep in mind this is coming from a guy who then named himself Chamillionaire.
- Guided Vocal Alert! Beyoncé gets no introduction and performs her second single off her new album. It’s never a good sign when a label has to rush out a second single before the album is never a good sign. Maybe we can expect that Destiny’s Child reunion sooner than later.
- T.I. is out next to perform a medley of songs I’ve never heard before and hope to never hear again.
- How funny was it that the dude who won Ringtone of the Year actually brought a list of people to thank? Apparently he didn’t get the memo that’s this was a joke award.
- It’s official, I am now totally sick of Fall Out Boy. And what was with the dude with the cape? The band is out to present Panic! at the Disco, or as I like to call it, a bathroom break. The performance would have been much better had the lead singer would have gotten hit with a bottle early in the song. If you want to see that happen, check out YouTube. Now that was entertaining.
- What's with bringing out the ten-year-old girl to the sounds of Rick James Superfreak. That is just totally wrong.
- I know that people like to make fun of past scandals but when your scandal is that you are horrible parents, it’s not a good idea to parody that sediment like Britney and her baby daddy did. Someone please send that tape to child services.
- Christina Aguilera for some reason to performed a balled. The massive guns she was showing off didn’t help with those drag queen comparisons.
- I thought they took out Michael Jackson from the Video Vangard award. Granted they have been sporatic giving it out lately. Hype Williams wins. It's sad that the rap cliches his videos created over a decade ago are still being used today.
- So AFI wins Best Rock Video and they were the only one all night who brings up the voting. This was something I was really wondering about, in the press release for the nominees, it mentioned that there was voting on the website, but I never heard anything about it after that. Nor did anything mention what the votes meant or if they meant why there was still a Viewer’s Choice Award. This is really bugging me.
- During one of their many mini-songs The Raconteurs changed the lyrics of historic song to “internet killed the video star.” Clever. Although this is about a year after I declared Podcasts Killed the Video Star.
- Worst Dressed of the night goes to Jennifer Lopez and her gypsy outfit. Seriously, who brought her out of obscurity? Can we quickly send her back there before she makes more crappy music? She appropriately presents Video of the Year to Panic! at the Disco, a crappy song to top off the crappy year.
- The night ends with The Killers. As the song ends they go to the nosebleed camera and just when you think they are setting up for something special, they cut back to Jack Black who ends the show.
Things are definitely changing in the music business with new ways to find artist the biggest of which is the social networking site MySpace. Now I have never been to the site on account that dudes my age on the site tend to end up on Dateline NBC. But anyways. For the most part the site has catapulted bands into record contracts before they have ever played live. But now the site has its first R&B success story in Cassie who sparked a bidding war after she uploaded some demos to her space including the current hit, Me & U. Unfortunately for Cassie, Bad Boy ended up winning because Diddy is notoriously (pun intended) for not properly promoting his artists that don’t change their name every six months and with his own album slated for the fall it’s only going to get worse.
So to capitalize on her MySpace buzz, a self titled album was rushed to supply the demand and the rush job shows as every song on the album sound pretty much the same and Cassie’s singing on Prozac sound doesn’t help. She makes Rihanna’s vocal stylings sound like Mariah Carey in comparison. Throw in the uber-short run time, I have EP’s that are longer, and the album isn’t worth it at any price. Well maybe except for free. Cassie only switches things up on Long Way to Go where she goes the Promiscuous pseudo-rap route, but comes off a lot less catchy. Cassie also brings in some other singers to duet with on Kiss You, Just One Night and What Do U Want but the nondescript dudes are just as anemic as she is.
The songs are your basic run of the mill R&B lyrics that are slightly changed to protect against plagiarism charges while the beats are barely tweaked from song to song. The only lyrics that stand out are on two songs (in not necessarily good ways). Fist there is Ditto, a song based on a cheesy movie that is probable older than Cassie herself. Then on Call U Out (what’s with all the numbers and letters in the title, who does she think she is, Prince?) where she proclaims, “I’m the illest chick you ever met you know that’s a fact. I’ll cut you up in a minute if you made me.” Whoa, slow down chica. When Carrie Underwood admitted to destroying some guy’s car for cheating is understandable (see my review - Oh, There's Nothing Like Oklahoma), but can’t be going around cutting dudes. That right there makes Cassie undateable. Yeah she’s attractive, but I could go down to the local dormitory and find five to ten co-ed that are hotter. And there in lies the problem with MySpace (asides from the previously mentioned dudes who show up on Dateline) wherein marginally attractive chicks (or pseudo-punk bands) with no discernible talent can score a record deal just because the have enough “friends” on the site.
Song to Download - About Time
Cassie gets a ![Terror Alert Level: Low [GREEN]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV5jUNMqnrEt-A-laO7HQcvH_2mssvEmU-3Ljc21QB95bE8gBS-ozxxmgUMEDQnUAPq4VYFmBlF5RIkGoiRjdCR8euNAtMTAaPmay8ZF4Lg3LY4TNqjAOq_3qDmalmC9AxLMIoVw/s400/small_low.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
The king of all award shows is on the horizon, the MTV Video Music Awards. Yes the last couple years have been disappointing, especially last year host-less edition that spawned zero water cooler moments. This year we do have a host, P. Diddy, who could do a good job as long as Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle are writing jokes for him. Already set to perform are Green Day, Kanye West, and Kelly Clarkson. The Viewers Choice is still in the preliminary stages so if you would like to vote for that or the MTV2 Award, or Best Soundtrack From a Video Game, hop over to MTV.com and voice your oppinian. As for the nominees:
Video of the Year
Coldplay, "Speed of Sound"
Green Day, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"
Gwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl"
Kanye West, "Jesus Walks"
Snoop Dogg w/Pharrell, "Drop It Like It's Hot"
Who Should Win: Jesus Walks
Who Will Win: Jesus Walks
Should Have Been Nominated: Vertigo
Jesus Walks is the best video by far the best video on this list and MTV loves rap, so it looks like it’s Kanye’s year this year. Although MTV also loves Stefani as I think No Doubt has the highest winning percentage in VMA history. I find it odd that U2’s Vertigo was left off as Speed of Sound is just Coldplay playing in front of light show and Drop it Like it’s Hot really isn’t visually striking.
Best Male Video
50 Cent, "Candy Shop"
Beck, "E-Pro"
John Legend, "Ordinary People"
Kanye West, "Jesus Walks"
Usher, "Caught Up"
Who Should Win: Jesus Walks
Who Will Win: Jesus Walks
Should Have Been Nominated: John Mayer, Daughters
Kanye should take this one too, but E-Pro and Ordinary People are worthy contenders. Usher is so 2004 and 50 has gone way downhill since his mix-tape days
Best Female Video
Amerie, "1 Thing"
Gwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl"
Kelly Clarkson, "Since U Been Gone"
Mariah Carey, "We Belong Together"
Shakira w/Alejandro Sanz, "La Tortura"
Who Should Win: Since U Been Gone
Who Will Win: Hollaback Girl
Should Have Been Nominated: Joss Stone, You Had Me
Personally, I’ll go with the video with a chick breaking stuff. That’s totally my form of entertainment. Plus throw in a blatent rip-off of the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s Maps and I’m set. I always find it interesting when a dude shows up in the best Female catergory. MTV always seems to throw one in every year.
Best Group Video
Black Eyed Peas, "Don't Phunk With My Heart"
Destiny's Child w/T.I & Lil' Wayne, "Soldier"
Green Day, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"
The Killers, "Mr. Brightside"
U2, "Vertigo"
Who Should Win: Vertigo
Who Will Win: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Should Have Been Nominated: Jimmy Eat World, Pain
The one thing that is hard to peg the winners so early with the VMA is that they tend to award those who show up. If U2 show up this year, they most likely take home this award. But since they weren’t nominated for the top prize, I’m thinking they turned down a performance and won’t show up and show Green Day win by default. I have already explained why I dislike Destiny’s Child’s Soldier (If You Know What I Mean), so I won’t go into that again.
Best Rap Video
Eminem, "Just Lose It"
The Game & 50 Cent, "Hate It or Love It"
Ludacris, "Number One Spot"
T.I., "You Don't Know Me"
Ying Tang Twins, "Wait (The Whisper Song)"
Who Should Win: Number One Spot
Who Will Win: Just Lose It
All these songs suck massively so I’ll give my award to the video that sports Slick Rick and Mini Me. It’s interesting to compare this award with Best Hip-Hop Video where are but Missy Elliot are quality rappers where the Best Rap Nominees only appeal to kids in Middle School. And as an added bonus, we get the Antoine Merriwether himself, T.I. to boot in this catergory.
Best R&B Video
Alicia Keys, "Karma"
Ciara w/Ludacris, "Oh"
John Legend, "Ordinary People"
Mariah Carey, "We Belong Together"
Usher w/Alicia Keys, "My Boo"
Who Should Win: Ordinary People
Who Will Win: My Boo
Ordinary People has heart, My Boo has the star power. If Alicia Key was to win, it should be for Karma instead, but the voters will kill two stars with one stone with hear song with Usher.
Best Hip-Hop Video
Common, "Go"
Kanye West, "Jesus Walks"
Missy Elliott w/Ciara & Fat Man Scoop, "Lose Control"
Nas w/ Olu Dara, "Bridging the Gap"
Snoop Dogg w/Pharrell, "Drop It Like It's Hot"
Who Should Win: Jesus Walks
Who Will Win: Drop it Like it’s Hot
Should Have Been Nominated: Mobb Deep, Got it Twisted
Sans Missy Elliot, all the videos are worthy. But I would have gone with Common’s The Corner rather than Go.
Best Dance Video
Ciara, "1, 2 Step"
Destiny's Child, "Lose My Breath"
Jennifer Lopez, "Get Right"
Missy Elliott w/Ciara & Fat Man Scoop, "Lose Control"
Shakira w/Alejandro Sanz, "La Tortura"
Who Should Win: La Tortura
Who Will Win: Lose My Breathe
Should Have Been Nominated: 1 Thing
Seriously, nothing beats the Shakira patented breast shake in her video. Aside from Destiny’s Child, I don’t know anyone who could actually dance to the other three nominees, so they should be thrown out by default. Amerie on the other hand is one of the few songs that could get me dancing.
Best Rock Video
Foo Fighters, "Best of You"
Green Day, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"
The Killers, "Mr. Brightside"
My Chemical Romance, "Helena"
Weezer, "Beverly Hills"
Who Should Win: Mr. Brightside
Who Will Win: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Should Have Been Nominated: Vertigo
For me it a toss up between Playmates and Eric Roberts, and you can see by my prediction who wins that battle. Too bad there is no Best Pseudo-Celebrity Cameo award so we can see Roberts take on himself with his other video with Mariah Carey.
Best Pop Video
Ashlee Simpson, "Pieces of Me"
Gwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl"
Jesse McCartney, "Beautiful Soul"
Kelly Clarkson, "Since U Been Gone"
Lindsay Lohan, "Rumors"
Who Should Win: Since U Been Gone
Who Will Win: Hollaback Girl
Should Have Been Nominated: Vanessa Carlton, White Houses
They should really change this award to best Teen-Pop award because not many people above the age of twenty or male like any artist that MTV has thrown into this category. Pop is short for popular which means it should be something everybody likes, not just under-aged females. But enough for a semantics lesson, No Doubt has ruled this category in the past, so expect them to win. Simpson and Lohan are throwaway video, although Rumors has some nostalgia appeal since it harkens back to a day when Lohan actually was attractive. And should I even know who Jessie McCartney is? Is he related to Paul?
Best New Artist in a Video
Ciara, "1, 2 Step"
The Game, "Dreams"
John Legend, "Ordinary People"
The Killers, "Mr. Brightside"
My Chemical Romance, "Helena"
Who Should Win: Ordinary People
Who Will Win: Mr. Brightside
Should Have Been Nominated: Anna Nalick, Breathe (2 A.M.)
This is a two way battle because Ciara, the Game, and My Chemical Romance suck massively. Although if Best New Artist of the past are any indication, maybe I should root for one of the three instead.
MTV2 Award
Akon w/Styles P, "Locked Up"
The Bravery, "An Honest Mistake"
Daddy Yankee, "Gasolina"
Fall Out Boy, "Sugar, We're Going Down"
Mike Jones w/Slim Thug & Paul Wall, "Still Tippin'"
My Chemical Romance, "Helena"
Who I Voted For: Still Tippin'
Who Will Win: Helena
Remember the good old day when MV2 didn’t become a haven for all things frat boys? So what we get is an award to see who is most metro. And since MTV allows you to vote as many times as you want, the award doesn’t go to the most popular, rather it goes whoever fans are the biggest losers (think AFI). And since fans of My Chemical Romance have nothing better to do than sit in front of the computers and vote all day, they’ll win. Even though I hate blatant self promotion, Mike Jones is so over the top when he does it, it become entertaining.
Breakthrough Video
Eminem, "Mosh"
Gorillaz, "Feel Good Inc."
Missy Elliott w/Ciara & Fat Man Scoop, "Lose Control"
Sarah McLachlan, "World on Fire"
U2, "Vertigo"
Who Should Win: World on Fire
Who Will Win: Lose Control
Let play a little “Which One of These Videos is Not Like the Other.” If you said World on Fire, go get yourself a cookie. The breakthrough behind that video is that it only cost $15. McLachlan turned around and donated the $150,000 allotted to the video to various international charities. But I’m sure the charity will go unnoticed again as the video outlets ignored it when it initially came out.
Best Choreography in a Video
Amerie, "1 Thing"
Gwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl"
Jennifer Lopez, "Get Right"
Missy Elliott w/Ciara & Fat Man Scoop, "Lose Control"
My Chemical Romance, "Helena"
Who Should Win: Helena
Who Will Win: Hollaback Girl
Should Have Been Nominated: Vanessa Carlton, White Houses
Stafani can’t dance, J-Lo gets a pity nomination because he album tanked, and the daning in 1 Thing and Lose Control weren’t even memorial. Helena should win by default.
Best Direction in a Video
Green Day, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" (Director: Samuel Bayer)
Jennifer Lopez, "Get Right" (Director: Francis Lawrence/Diane Martel)
Missy Elliott w/Ciara & Fat Man Scoop, "Lose Control" (Director: Dave Meyers/Missy Elliott)
White Stripes, "Blue Orchid" (Director: Floria Sigismondi)
U2, "Vertigo" (Director: Alex & Martin)
Who Should Win: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Who Will Win: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
I really have no comment on direction.
Best Special Effects in a Video
Coldplay, "Speed of Sound"
Gorillaz, "Feel Good Inc."
Ludacris, "Number One Spot"
The Mars Volta, "The Widow"
Missy Elliott w/Ciara & Fat Man Scoop, "Lose Control"
U2, "Vertigo"
Who Should Win: Vertigo
Who Will Win: Lose Control
I was unaware that there were any special effects in Speed of Sound. And the effects in Number One Spot and Feel Good Inc. were not that special. I’d give the U2 because unlike Missy Elliot, their music doesn’t make my ears bleed.
Best Art Direction in a Video
Green Day, "American Idiot"
Gwen Stefani, "What You Waiting For?"
The Killers, "Mr. Brightside"
System of a Down, "B.Y.O.B"
White Stripes, "Blue Orchid"
Who Should Win: Mr. Brightside
Who Will Win: What You Waiting For?
I have no comments on art direction.
Best Editing in a Video
Coldplay, "Speed of Sound"
Foo Fighters, "Best of You”
Green Day, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"
Gwen Stefani, "What You Waiting For?"
Jennifer Lopez, "Get Right"
Simple Plan, "Untitled"
Who Should Win: Best of You
Who Will Win: What You Waiting For?
Editing is a hard category to choose because all you have to do is make sure the lips move with the words of the song. Untitled was a cool video, it just too sad that it was paired up with one of the worst songs of the year. Man those Canadians are a whiny bunch.
Best Cinematography in a Video
Coldplay, "Speed of Sound"
Green Day, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"
Modest Mouse, "The Ocean Breathes Salty"
Simple Plan, "Untitled"
U2, "Vertigo"
White Stripes, "Blue Orchid"
Who Should Win: Speed of Sound
Who Will Win: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
I really shouldn’t comment here because I’m not entirely sure what cinematography is.
Best Soundtrack From A Video Game
Def Jam: Fight for NY
Dance Dance Revolution Extreme
Madden 2005
Midnight Club 3: Dub Edition
Tony Hawk’s Underground 2
Who I Voted For:: Def Jam: Fight for NY
Who Will Win: Tony Hawk's Underground 2
Should Have Been Nominated: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
He in lies the biggest snub at the awards with that absence of GTA. OK, so no one on the soundtrack has been on MTV since Dr. Dre last appeared in an Eminem video. But unlike all the games on the list, when playing GTA, there is no need to reach for the remote to throw the mute on because you keep on hearing the same songs ad nausea.
- They get the token female honoree out of the way earlier with Missy Elliot, the first misstep the show has had. If you insist on having a female, why not Queen Latifah, Roxanne Shanté or Mary J. Blige. I would even take the chick that sang Pump Up the Jam over her. Elliot is completely overvalued as a rapper just because of her eye-popping videos, but all her songs are mediocre at best. Her tribute was skippable with Eve, Nelly Furtado (don’t ask me what she was wearing), Ciara, and Tweet out of obscurity and yet no trash bag dresses in sight. Yawn.
- He is out to honor New Jack Swing. I could name a dozen hip-hop artists more deserving, but I’ll let it go because long before the 9th Green existed I still made my best songs of the year lists for my own amusement and the very first list I made back in 1996 had No Diggity at number one. And to this day whenever I find myself in front of a microphone I find myself going through the whole, “Check, baby, check baby 1, 2, 3, 4” routine and sometimes bust out an entire verse depending on the audience. Fun Fact: Rump Shaker was actually written by an unknown Pharrell Williams who showed up twice last night yet for some reason was not involved in the Teddy Riley segment. But if you are going to pay tribute to New Jack Swing do you really need a Michael Jackson song? But we did find out why T-Pain uses that voice box thing because dude has a horrible singing voice.
- And now what I have been waiting for four years, Q-Tip, Phife Dawg, Ali Shaheed Muhammad, and Jarobi: A Tribe Called Quest. Common does a decent job with Bonita Applebum, one of the few great rap love songs, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up when the beat for Scenrio started up. You know you are a great performer when you can just spout jibberish like Busta Rhymes did, I think he only rapped four actual words from the orginal verse, and still get everyone excited, yet Lupe Fiasco flubs a line and gets universally panned. Of cource how do you mess up the BBD line? But that all paled in compairison when Tribe themslves hit the stage for thilling renditions of Check the Rhyme and my presonal favorite Award Tour.
