Around the Tubes vol. LVIII

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on The Client List, Revenge of the Bridesmaids, DC Comics, Drake, and vuvuzalas.

- Being a dude I have never watch Lifetime Channel, and even a movie starring Jennifer Love Hewitt as a “massage therapist” most likely won’t change that (maybe if it were a decade ago and not on basic cable). The Client List is as salacious and you would expect from a Lifetime movie, a true story of a former Homecoming Queen who takes extreme measures to get some money when she and her husband are layedoff. Here is a preview of the movie premiering this coming Monday at 9:00:

The Client List Extended Trailer


- For those that prefer lighter fair in their TV movies, this Sunday ABC Family is premiering their latest Revenge of the Bridesmaids starring JoAnna Garcia and Raven Symone about two friends who go undercover to sabotage a wedding. Check out a preview below:

- DC comics recently turned 75 and to celebrate they recently opened an iTunes page dedicated to their movies, television shows, apps, cartoons and more for your favorites like Superman, Batman and many more.

- Fans of Drake will want to head over to XUMANII this Sunday between 10:50 and 4:50 fot a virtual VIP pass as cameras follow him around for an after party.

- For those going threw vuvuzala withdrawal, some protesters took the “instrument” to the BP headquarters to protest the company.

Lyrics Quiz: Greatest Lyrics of the 00's part 1

Continuing my year long look at some of the Best the last decade had to offer here are some of my favorite lyrics of the past ten years. There will be a second part coming as soon as next month where I have split the lyrics up randomly. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section or e-mail me. If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them. Now onto the lyric quiz:


1. We could hide out under there. I just made you say “underwear?” (Pinch Me - Barenaked Ladies; guessed by Doug)
2. Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought. Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about. (The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang; guessed by AJ)
3. You know this song by Phil Collins, “In the Air of the Night” about that guy who could have saved that other guy from drowning but didn’t and Phil saw it all then at his show he found him? (Stan - Eminem and Dido; guessed by Doug)
4. My block live and in color, like Rodman hair. The club is packed, the bar is filled. I'm waiting for sister to act, like Lauryn Hill. (Dirrty - Christina Aguilara featuring Redman; guessed by Angie)
5. Tell me did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights are faded and that heaven is overrated? (Drops of Jupiter - Train; guessed by AJ)
6. I want a girl with good dividends. At City Bank we’ll meet accidentally. We’ll start to talk when she borrows my pen. (Short Skirt/Long Jacket - Cake - AJ)
7. Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don’t confuse them for mountains. (Whenever, Wherever - Shakira; guessed by Doug)
8. And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what’s yours and I want what’s mine. I want you but I'm not giving in this time. (Goodbye to You - Michelle Branch; guessed by Angie)
9. We can drive through the city no doubt but don’t say my car is topless, say the (expletive deleted) is out.
10. She got out of town on a railway New York bound. Took all except my name, another alien on Broadway. (Bright Lights - Matchbox Twenty; guessed by Angie)
11. I’m just trying to say the way school needs teachers, the way Kathy Lee needed Regis. (Jesus Walks - Kanye West; guessed by Rose)
12. I don’t mind spending every day out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile. Ask her if she wants to stay awhile. She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5; guessed by Rose)
13. There’ll be manslaughter right in front of my kids. A little blood get on my daughter, it’s nothing, she’ll live.
14. And that REM song was playing in my mind, in three and a half minutes. (A Lifetime - Better Than Ezra; guessed by Angie)
15. The talking leads to touching and the touching leads to sex and then there’s no mystery left. Portions for Foxes - Rilo Kiley; guessed by Rose)
16. With a name I’ve never chosen, I can make my first steps. (Chocolate - Final Straw - Snow Patrol; guessed by Angie)
17. I hear in my mind all these voices. I hear in my mind all these words. I hear in my mind all this music and it breaks my heart. (Fidelity - Regina Spektor; guessed by Doug)
18. If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the “no’s” on their vacancy signs. (I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Plans - Death Cab for Cutie; guessed by AJ)
19. Who do you think you are? Ha, ha, ha, bless your soul. (Crazy - Gnarls Barkley; guessed by Rose)
20. Get washed-up singers writing all my songs, lip synch ‘em every night so I don’t get ‘em wrong. (Rockstar - Nickelback; guessed by Angie)
21. There’s nothing you can teach me that I can’t learn from Mr. Hathaway. (Rehab - Amy Winehouse; guessed by Doug)
22. For some reason I can’t explain, I know St. Peter won’t call my name. (Viva la Vida - Coldplay; guessed by Rose)
23. It’s been a long time since twenty-two. I don’t remember you looking any better. But then again I don’t remember you. (Who Says - John Mayer; guessed by Angie)
24. Saw Cinderella in a party dress, she was looking for a nightgown. I saw the devil wrapping up his hands; he’s getting ready for the showdown.
25. Somebody’s heart is broken – it becomes your favorite song. (Funny the Way It Is - Dave Matthews Band; guessed by Angie)

Feed Your iPod vol. XLVIII: Tequila

My buddy Doug knows every obscure song ever made (remember Deeper Shade of Soul by the Urban Dance Squad? No? Well he does) or at least I thought he did until I finally stumped him the other day when I brought up A.L.T. and the Lost Civilization and their early nineties ode to alcohol Tequila which sampled The Champs song of the same name (which everyone in my generation will know best as the Pee Wee Herman song). I figure if Doug doesn’t remember the song most of you out there never have either, and that has to be rectified because the song is just cheesy goodness and should be right up there with Skee-Lo in the terms of great nineties one hit wonder rap songs.

Tequila – A.L.T. and the Lost Civilization

Previewing Covert Affairs

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Covert Affairs borrows heavily from Alias that every review of the show mentions (ever notices when someone like something, it is an homage; when they hate it, it is a rip-off): a moderately attractive CIA agent has to keep a secret life from her family and goes on mission that involves little amounts of clothing.

Though Sidney Bristow kept a double life because she was deep undercover (so deep it turned out she was part of a rouge organization), it really isn’t explained why Annie Walker tells her sister she works at the Smithsonian when she is just a normal CIA trainee. On the bright side we do learn by the end of the first episode why Annie got called to Langley when she was still a months away from graduating (and if you think her language knowledge and the ability to pass as a call girl is a lame excuse that cannot be the whole reason, you are right).

But besides being in the CIA, the secret life and the scantily clad costumes, there are very few similarities after that (thankfully no convoluted prophesies, at least not yet). The show stars Piper Perabo (the live action Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle movie) as the new agent in question while Anne Dudak (Big Love) plays the unaware older sister of whom Annie stays with. Annie works alongside Christopher Gorham (Harper’s Island) as an intelligence officer slash blind dude and Sendhil Ramamurthy (Heroes) who doesn’t actually show up in the first episode. They all report to Kari Matchett (Invasion) who in turn reports to Peter Gallagher (who also starts a run on Rescue Me tonight at the same time on FX) who currently is the most interesting part of the show. But then again when is Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows not the star of a show or movie?

The first episode of Covert Affairs prods along for the most part whenever Gallagher is not on screen and the gratuitous show of skin in the first five minutes is, well, gratuitous (I guess that is another worthy Alias comparison). Perabo and Matchett particular do not seem to settle into their roles very well. But the big reveal at the end of the pilot makes it worth another viewing or two, though it seems pretty clear that Rescue Me will be the better alternative in the timeslot. And if Annie turns up in any prophesies written centuries ago, I’ll definitely be done with the show.

Covert Affairs airs Tuesdays at 10:00 on USA. The show does have a Hulu page, so presumably you will be able to stream episodes there after it airs. You can download Covert Affairs on iTunes.

Previewing Rizzoli and Isles

This summer TNT has launched 100 Days of Drama with new episodes of favorite shows on the network as well as two new shows. Last month Memphis Beat premiered to a lukewarm response and tonight sees the start of the network’s other offering Rizzoli and Isles which hasn’t fared much better in the entertainment department.

Rizzoli and Isles follows Boston police detective Angie Harmon (Agent Cody Banks) as the first half of the title. While Sasha Alexander (He's Just Not That Into You), who despite being the other half of the title rarely appears onscreen without Harmon, plays her medical examiner buddy. It is your token opposites attract friendship with Harmon playing the tough as nails tomboy to Alexander who dresses up even to clean. Though it is unclear why Alexander is so obsessed with fashion because she is also p0rotrayed as someone with a mild case of Asperser’s who enjoys the company of the dead to that of the breathing.

Tonight’s episode involves a serial killer that Rizzoli had a run in before he was caught whose M.O. pops up again years later. The episode also has Rizzoli pull off the dumbest move I have ever seen a cop make in the history of television. On the second episode, another serial killer may possibly have returned, this time being the Boston Strangler. Yes, the Boston Strangler may have returned despite the man convicted of the crime died a long time ago. The second episode also sees the introduction of Donnie Walberg (New Kids On the Block) as Rizzoli’s new boss and probable love interest, or so Isles thinks.

On the scale of TNT cop shows, Rizzoli and Isles is darker than The Closer but doesn’t get as dark as Dark Blue, which makes for a bland combination. An things get even more clichéd with the introduction of Mr. and Mrs. Rizzoli (Chazz Palminteri and Lorraine Bracco), the latter of which is so over the top to get her baby girl hooked up with someone, she suggest putting on makeup before going to a murder scene because you never know who you will meet. Though Lee Thomson Young (Smallville’s Cyborg) is mildly entertaining as Rizzoli’s new partner who has adverse reactions to grizzly crime scenes (Isles’ attempt to cure him of his phobia is particularly entertaining). But I really do not seeing the show appealing to anyone is going through procedural withdrawal this summer and just new episodes The Closer just is not enough.

Rizzoli and Isles airs Mondays at 10:00 on TNT. You can download Rizzoli & Isles on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CXXXVIII

Quote of the Week: We don’t have any money. I’m in the 10th grade. It was my first time. I threw it away, and I don’t want to throw my life away. It’s just really obvious that my mom wants me to have this abortion because I was her mistake and she has just struggled and hurt and everyday she wanted better. And I knew better. I was just thinking forget about what she wants, what do I want? Maybe I could take care of this baby. And maybe I would be good at it and I could love it and be there for it. Then I think about how awful it would be if I had a baby and I spent the rest of my life resenting him or her. (Becky – Friday Night Lights)

Song of the Week: Percussion Gun – White Rabbits (Friday Night Lights)

Big News of the Week: LeBron Is Gone: As someone who has lived in Northeast Ohio all his life, the only sports championship I have witness in my lifetime was by the Cleveland Crunch (bonus points for anyone who can name the sport). So really came as not much as a surprise that LeBron would be “taking his talents to South Beach” (really, is the a more douchebagery way of saying you are leaving) but it still stung a lot coming from a guy who should know very well events like The Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, The Blown Save, and Art Modell. Things are so bad here in Cleveland, the past decade, we were not even good enough in anything to have a gut wrenching loss to name. Instead we get events like watching game one of the World Series where the starters of both teams were a year before, both Indians.

So I am totally with Dan Gilbert’s douchebagry letter and I hope he is right that the Cavs with a title before the Heat and that the Cleveland Curse will follow LeBron down to South Beach. And that highlights what may be the worst byproduct of this trade: if the Heat end up playing the Lakers in the finals next year like many predict, I will have to root for Kobe Bryant for the first time ever, and I even secretly hoped he didn’t win Olympic Gold a couple years back. On the funnier side of the trade, you can now buy a LeBron James Fathead for the deeply discounted price of $17.41 (cut from $99.99), which just happens to be the same year that Benedict Arnold was born. Also keep in mind Fathead is also owned by Dan Gilbert.

Persons Unknown: Another Lost parallel, they killed off the Token Hot Chick way too early (as in ever). Hurmph. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Persons Unknown on iTunes.

Rescue Me: Of course Tommy’s great idea to get his daughter off the sauce was to pour more down her throat until she didn’t want to drink anymore. I may have to try the overindulge approach whenever I need to hold my next intervention. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Rescue Me on iTunes.

Happy Town: The final two episodes popped up online this week (check out the Hulu link below) and all I have to say about it is that I really did not care for the reveal of The Magic Man (though I correctly guessed the gender). You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Happy Town on iTunes.

Friday Night Lights: It must have been heavy discussion with you parents week with Becky, Luke, Vince and Jess (you can also throw in Tim as Billy raised him) all had heart to hearts with their parents. And watching this episode reminds me of how Tami really needs more screen time with the students because those are what got her the much deserved Emmy nomination (congrats to Coach Taylor for finally landing one also). Big laugh of the week, though, goes to the Riggins brothers for their ill conceived plan to bury the car skeletons. And even though Tim asked him to quit, I have a feeling it will not be easy to get out from under Vince’s buddy (and how heartbreaking was him getting into the car was). You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Free Download of the Week: Rubicon Sneak Preview - Rubicon, Season 1 (iTunes): I am not as enamored with AMC’s critically adored series as most, so I have not checked out Rubicon yet. But if you want to check it out before it’s August 1 premiere (and didn’t catch the sneak peak after the Breaking Bad finale), you can do so for free.

Deal of the Week: TV Spotlight Deal: Save Up to 58% (The Dark Knight, Planet Earth, Watchmen)

Video of the Week: LeBron may be leaving Cleveland but John Mayer will be playing here soon as he proclaims in this almots funny video.

Announcement


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Closer, Monday at 9:00 on TNT: Click here for my Preview of the new season of The Closer, which will be followed tomorrow by new show Rizzoli and Isles which you can look out for a review tomorrow.