Toss Up: Modern Family vs. Parenthood

When television schedules were announced last year, I marked Wednesdays on my calendar are a good family block with two new shows, Parenthood at 8:00 and Modern Family at 9:00. Both were similar in that they both focused on an extended family which made for easy comparisons. Unfortunately Parenthood got yanked from the schedule and when it popped up it was at the unfamily friendly timeslot of 10:00 on Tuesdays (where it returns tonight). But despite the separation, they were still the best two new network programs and so I thought I would do an old school toss up to see which family show was in fact better.


90’s Sitcom Refugee
Modern Family: Al Bundy
Parenthood: Coach
Winner: Modern Family

Created By
Modern Family: Christopher Lloyd who may or may not be Doc Brown
Parenthood: The guys who brought us Arrested Development and Friday Night Lights
Winner: Parenthood

Younger Brothers Is…
Modern Family: ADHD
Parenthood: Autistic
Winner: Modern Family

Mom from Boston Legal
Modern Family: Carol Vessey
Parenthood: Monica Potter
Winner: Modern Family

Mr. Mom
Modern Family: Cameron Tucker
Parenthood: Joel Graham
Winner: Modern Family

Costume of Choice
Modern Family: Clown
Parenthood: Pirate
Winner: Parenthood

Temptresses
Modern Family: Phil’s ex-girlfriend Judy Greer
Parenthood: Joel’s PTA buddy
Winner: Parenthood

Dude from The Class
Modern Family: Jesse Tyler Ferguson
Parenthood: Jason Ritter
Winner: Modern Family

Absentee Dad
Modern Family: Manny’s father
Parenthood: Crosby
Winner: Parenthood

Underaged Daughter Who, Thank Chris Hansen, Is Over 18 in Real Life
Modern Family: Haley
Parenthood: Haddie
Winner: Modern Family

Ethnic Diversity
Modern Family: Al Bundy married a Latina
Parenthood: Cosby hooked up with a black chick
Winner: Modern Family

Guest Stars
Modern Family: Edward Norton, Elizabeth Banks
Parenthood: Dr. Harold Abbott, Lyla Garrity
Winner: Parenthood

Theme Song
Modern Family: Bob Dylan’s Forever Young
Parenthood: an instrumental
Winner: Parenthood

There you have it, Modern Family squeaks out a victory 7-6. Parenthood airs Tuesdays at 10:00 starting tonight. You can stream episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes. Modern Family airs Wednesdays starting next week at 9:00. You can stream episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Toss Up: Persons Unknown vs Pretty Little Liars

Though they have had success with reality shows, television networks have yet to come with a summer scripted season that anyone wants to watch. Yet on the cable side, from FX to TNT to even smaller stations like AMC have created buzz worthy shows most of last decade. The problem has always been for the major network, their summer show have always seemed like series they are burning off in the summer because they were not good enough during the normal television season, while the cable networks have such a small slate of show, most all of them are treated like flagship shows.

Two new shows debuted this week, one network and one cable, and look like they would have nothing in common. On the network side looking to buck the trend is Persons Unknown, The Prisoner meets Lost for NBC; while ABC Family offers up the Desperate Housewives for the Gossip Girl set Pretty Little Liars. On the surface the two shows would have nothing in common, but at the heart of both shows is an overarching mystery.

For Persons Unknown, the big question is why these people were brought to this deserted town and where exactly is this town. The show started out very much like it could have Lost but instead of an island, the castaways were landlocked in the middle of nowhere, but instead of waiting until the end of the second season to see anyone off the island, we learn of a reporter investigating one of the missing persons. “Others” also show up shortly in the form of a catering Koreans and a night bellman, neither of which give us much information so far.

For Pretty Little Liars, the big mystery is who is sending all the title characters messages that only their missing friend would know. All these secrets are pretty familiars for shows of this ilk: hooking up with a teacher, same sex attraction, hooking up with a sister’s boyfriend, eating disorder. Not surprisingly the end of the episode the body of the missing girl shows up dead because the title sequence features the girls gathered around a casket. Seriously, is this the first time a title sequence featured a major spoiler?


Another thing the show share is not a particular strong cast. It may not be a good sign when your show is headlined by Cameron Frye. As seen by his recent spot on Justified, he can make a decent guest turn, but he cannot lead a series like Persons Unknown. On the other hand, Pretty Little Liars is full of actors that can barely pass a college students let along sixteen year olds. C’mon, Bianca Lawson was playing that age thirteen years ago when she was on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, when her current character was three years old.

In terms of a toss-up, I am going and call it a tie because Persons Unknown is the superior show with a better set up of its mystery. And being a thirteen episode miniseries, there shouldn’t be the too many to count loose ends that hampered Lost. But being on cable, Pretty Little Liars has a much better chance of extending past thirteen episodes.

Persons Unknowns airs Mondays at 10:00 on NBC. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Persons Unknown on iTunes. Pretty Little Liars airs Tuesdays at 8:00 on ABC Family. You can stream, recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes of which you can download the Pilot currently for free as well as Amazon Video on Demand:

Toss Up: Brooke White vs. Aimee Allen

About a year ago a pair of songs caught my eye by their title alone. It turned out that I Kissed a Girl and How I Could Kill a Man were not actual cover songs (see Toss Up: Katy Perry vs. Charlotte Sometimes). The same thing happened this week while checking out the new albums that were being released yesterday. This time around the two songs in question indeed turned to be actual cover tunes taking feminine take of guy’s guys’ tunes. First off is someone who is no stranger to karaoking other people tune, Brooke White who takes on the Kings of Leon’s Use Somebody. What, did you expect the Mormon to do Sex on Fire instead? Take a listen:

Use Somebody - Brooke White


Here is how not to do a cover. It sound like Brooke couldn’t decide if she wanted to do a straight up version or change it up, so we get this pseudo-countrified version. What’s worse is the best part of the original, the soaring whoa’s that haunt the chorus, on the new verson just lake the passion of the orginal. With that said, it seems like Use Somebody is this year’s Crazy in that even a bad version is still pretty listenable. But if you want to hear how you do a great cover tune, check out Santeria by Aimee Allen:

Santeria - Aimee Allen


Instead of doing the safe slowed down ska of the Sublime original, Allen completely flips it and picks up a ukulele and turns the song into a beach campfire tune. It turns out so sweet it doesn’t raise an eyebrow to hear her singing about heinas and popping caps. In a battle of the covers, we have an easy winner

I may have a full review of Allen’s album A Little Happiness next week, until then, head over to Amazon MP3 where you can pick up a free copy of her song On Vacation or check out her full album or White’s High Hopes and Heartbreaks:

Toss Up: Katy Perry vs Charlotte Sometimes

Every couple days I troll the internet for new music video and usually I still to acts I already know unless there is a big buzz around a new artist or if a title just catches my eye. Videos by Katy Perry and Charlotte Sometimes basically caught my eye for the exact same reason, I thought that I Kissed a Girl and How I Could Kill a Man were covers of Jill Sobule and Cypress Hill respectively and was severely disappointed when it turned out neither were. So let’s break them down individually to their predecessors:


I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry




I Kissed a Girl - Jill Sobule



What a different a decade makes. The Jill Sobule version would have been shocking had it not have been so cheesy. Not we have Katy Perry presumably trying to be shocking with her Girls Gone Wild video with all the good parts taken out. But you can find more shocking things on ABC Family in primetime these days. They you replace upbeat pop with dirty techno. Even worse: no Fabio cameo.


How I Could Just Kill a Man - Charlotte Sometimes




How I Could Just Kill a Man - Cypress Hill



With MTV’s anti-violence stance it was shocking when Yo! MTV Raps started spinning the Cypress Hill song back in the early nineties. But ever since the Dixie Chicks said goodbye to Earl, it seems like every pop tart from Kelly Clarkson to that arsonist Taylor Swift want to do bodily harm to a jilted ex, so again, not so shocking over a decade later.


Okay, I guess it shouldn’t be too surprising that neither could stack up to the original. But as for the premise for the Toss Up between the two new songs, the clear winner is Charlotte Sometimes as her song is at least remotely catchy.

Toss Up: Christina Aguilera vs Avril Lavigne

It’s not all that uncommon to see the same themes throughout the entertainment industry. A couple summers ago there were competing asteroid destroying the Earth movies, this past year there were two television shows that dealt with backstage at a Saturday Night Live clone ironically on the same network. And last week, there was not one, but two music videos premieres that featured the singer as a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. Again the irony being that they are both on the same record label. So let’s fire up a game of Toss Up to see which video is better. First let’s take a look at the two videos:


Candyman - Christina Aguilera




Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne




To check out the videos on YouTube, click the bold links above the videos, to buy the songs, click on their names in the Toss Up below, also if you want to buy the Avril Lavigne video, click here. Now to the Toss Up:

Sounds Like
Christina Aguilera: Something from a World War II USO
Avril Lavigne: Something from an Ashlee Simpson album
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Looks Like
Christina Aguilera: A drag queen
Avril Lavigne: Christina circa 1999 with bad teeth
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Former Look
Christina Aguilera: A dirrty, dirrty girl
Avril Lavigne: A tie wearing pseudo punk
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Obscene Lyric
Christina Aguilera: He’s my one stop shop with a real big (expletive deleted)
Avril Lavigne: Don’t pretend that I think you know I’m (expletive deleted) precious and (expletive deleted) yeah I’m the (expletive deleted) princess
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Dance Sequence
Christina Aguilera: Something out of a gap commercial ten years ago
Avril Lavigne: Something from a Tony Basil video two decades ago
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Hang Out
Christina Aguilera: A malt shop
Avril Lavigne: A putt-putt golf course
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Song Promotes
Christina Aguilera: Monogamy
Avril Lavigne: Home wrecking
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Daring Fashion Choice
Christina Aguilera: The Aunt Jemima bandana
Avril Lavigne: Knee high striped socks with high heels
Winner: Avril Lavigne


YouTube Views (as of when I posted this)
Christina Aguilera: 23,416
Avril Lavigne: 146,852
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Husband
Christina Aguilera: Some random Jewish dude
Avril Lavigne: The dude from Sum41
Winner: Christina Aguilera


As a Blonde
Winner: Christina Aguilera


As a Brunette
Winner: Christina Aguilera


As a Redhead
Winner: Avril Lavigne


So there you have it, by the numbers, Christina Aguilera is your winner. Agree, disagree? That’s what the comment section is for. (Did I mention I recently got rid of the Word Verification? But I did make it so you cannot comment anonymously to combat spammers)

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 10

Where hard core fans continually blame repeats and direct competition with American Karaoke for the shrinking ratings and disinteresting episodes but after the last two weeks, ABC’s promo department is becoming a big problem for the show. Last week it promised three big mysteries revealed and most were struggling to figure out what exactly they were (tattoos, seriously?). Then this week there was something we couldn’t miss because there was something because everyone would be talking the next day. But most people were left asking the next day on what they should have been talking about. But on the other end of the spectrum, promos for Veronica Mars set the bar so low with disinteresting promises of more Ronnie and Logan drama that the actual episodes never fail to exceed expectations. Now it’s time for the last Toss Up between the two shows for two months thanks to the Search for the Next Talentless Singer replacing Veronica Mars over that time span, so let’s see how goes into the hiatus with a win:


Insult
Lost: “I’m just trying to figure out which Gilmore Girl you are”
Veronica Mars: “Red… Neck… Man”
Winner: Veronica Mars


Dead Chick
Lost: Tricia Tanaka got hit by a meteor
Veronica Mars: Mindy O’Dell was pushed overboard by here lover
Winner: Lost


Oscar Homage
Lost: The gang drives around in a VW bus just like in Little Miss Sunshine
Veronica Mars: Almost everyone dies just like in The Departed
Winner: Veronica Mars


Where Was
Lost: Libby, because it was a Hurley flashback
Veronica Mars: Dick, because, well, he’s Dick
Winner: Veronica Mars


Mode of Transportation
Lost: A wrecked Dharma bus
Veronica Mars: A boat bought with insurance money
Winner: Veronica Mars


From the 80’s
Lost: The dude from Cheech & Chong not named Chong
Veronica Mars: The dude from St. Elsewhere not named Denzel
Winner: Veronica Mars


All Alone
Lost: While Jin and Charlie had their significant others to talk to about all the excitement, Sawyer had no one to talk to about it
Veronica Mars: While Logan and Parker are getting friendlier, Ronnie is again spending her free time solving crimes
Winner: Veronica Mars


Teaming Up
Lost: Hurley got Jin, Charlie and Sawyer to get the van up and running
Veronica Mars: Ronnie and Not-Lucky teamed up to get Landry out of jail
Winner: Lost


Ending
Lost: Kate hunts down Rousseau to help rescue Jack
Veronica Mars: Ronnie and Keith watch the new during dinner
Winner: Lost


On the Internet
Lost: You can see the latest episode over at ABC.com or download Tricia Tanaka Is Dead on iTunes
Veronica Mars: You can see the latest episode at CWTV.com or download Papa's Cabin on iTunes


Okay, let’s get back to the promo I was talking about in the opening. What exactly were we supposed to be talking about? Was it the car they found? Was it that Charlie didn’t die? Was it the return of Rousseau? Those promos are really starting to be a detriment to the show. This lead to a rare boring Hurley-centric episode which is extra surprising considering not even Cheech could save it. And you guessed it, Hurley, much like everyone else on the island, has daddy issues. Yawn.

And like most Lost episodes, they save the only interesting part of the episode for last, which I presume is what we were supposed to be talking about with the return of Rousseau who wasn’t seen on screen for 355 days. Can we please get a Rousseau flashback now please? Her and Not-Henry are the really the only flashbacks I’m interested in right now. At this point I really don’t care how Locke got in the wheelchair. But being that this Lost I have a feeling it will take the rest of the season for them to find The Others home. Although, once again the promo looked good as it looks like they find One Eyed Willie. Let hope that the next episode actually lives up to the hype this time.


I already talked about the most recent episode of Veronica Mars which you can find here: I Like this Show, its Tawdry week 6. I finally got chance to watch it again and everything made much more sense the second time around. So if you are still confused by something, be sure to check the links above. For everyone else, below is a video of my favorite line from the episode. Is it May 1st yet?

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 9

This week Lost promised three big mysteries solved while Veronica Mars pulled off one of the biggest shockers of the year. So let’s see who comes out on top of the second to last Toss Up for a while.


New Sheriff in Town
Lost: The creepy old chick
Veronica Mars: Keith is back in charge
Winner: Veronica Mars


Big Guest Star
Lost: The dude from 21 Jump Street
Veronica Mars: The chick from, um, well, let check out imdb.com, oh yeah, But Can They Sing?
Winner: Veronica Mars


Shot Down
Lost: Juliet looks calm while taking down her fellow Other in the Previously On segment
Veronica Mars: Saks is probably still shaking after gunning down the dude from 21 Jump Street
Winner: Lost


Random Hook Up
Lost: Jack and the chick from But Can They Sing?
Veronica Mars: Logan and Parker
Winner: Veronica Mars


Behind Bars
Lost: Jack gets moved to the bear cage
Veronica Mars: Veronica starts the show in the slammer
Winner: Veronica Mars


MIA
Lost: Everyone on the original island
Veronica Mars: Dick and Piz
Winner: Lost


Inked Up
Lost: Jack gets a tattoo for, um, yeah, I really missed why
Veronica Mars: Ronnie gets a tattoo for street cred in the joint
Winner: Veronica Mars

In the Water
Lost: Sawyer, Kate and other dude take a boat to get back to the main island
Veronica Mars: Parker and Logan swim out past the breaker to get the last clue
Winner: Veronica Mars


On the Internet
Lost: You can see the latest episode over at ABC.com or download Stranger in a Strange Land on iTunes
Veronica Mars: You can see the latest episode at CWTV.com or download Mars Bars on iTunes


This was easily was the biggest blowout in the year and a half I’ve been doing the Toss Up’s. I guess that will happen when you promise to reveal three big mysteries and fail to deliver. Speaking of the three, does anyone know exactly what they were? By my count, one was what happened to the flight attendant, although that wasn’t revealed in last week’s promo and we still don’t know why or what exactly what she is doing now. Second is we learned the history of Jack’s tattoo which I never realized were a big mystery until this episode. And the third I’m grasping at straws, but was it that The Others live on the big island, not the smaller one? So nothing about the smoke monster, nothing on Dharma, nothing on what The Others are doing or got there, we didn’t learn why Locke is in a wheelchair, who is Sun’s baby daddy, if Not-Henry is really Alex’s biological daddy, who the one eye man is, or what’s up with the statue leg. Oh well, at least there were no dream sequences this week.

But if you are interested on watching a show where all the big mysteries get answered in a timely fashion, there is always Veronica Mars. But after this episode, you really can’t talk about any mystery first; no you have to start at the end with the shocking death of Sheriff Don Lamb. I’m still in shock to the point I even came up with a theory on how Lamb is still alive. Here it goes: Lamb being in such a bad condition and unable of going after Mrs. O’Dell for putting him in that condition, decided to let his vengeance overpower his hatred for Keith to let people think he’s dead so Keith would replace him and go after O’Dell.

Other reasons to why Lamb may not be dead: His last words were, “I smell bread.” Seriously, how could they make that someone’s last words? The Mars’ are much better as anti-establishment so Keith as Sheriff wouldn’t work in the long term plus it would kill off Mars Investigations. And with MI no longer around, who would Ronnie moonlight for, Vinnie Van Lowe? And with Lamb gone, the Mars’ lose their best archenemies, after Ronnie/Dick scenes, Lamb with either Mars are the best on the show. Really, why do birds suddenly appear whenever he is near?

Okay, enough Lamb talk as he wasn’t the only one to die this episode either as my pre-arc pick of Steve Batando got taken out. So much for that pick. And our first two episode mystery of the week was solved but I’m not a fan of the dude doing it himself. Granted I was really hoping it was going to tie into the Dean’s death. Oh well.

Then there was Ronnie behind bars scene which was yet another instant classic for the show. You gotta love Keith, “I thought I’d be a little more traumatized by this, but I’m not” line. It was also a cheap catalyst for the B storyline with the Valentines scavenger hunt. Despite the cheesy start, Parker may just be a better fit for Logan than Vee. Although I’m not sure if Logan is the best thing for Parker right now. And speaking of the scavenger hunt how is that page from the Karma Sutra even work in the real world? If there are any token hot chick in Northeast Ohio that would like to help me figure that out, just shout me a holla.

Next week we supposable learn who killed the Dean and it looks like Keith didn’t learn from his mistakes from his last tenure and goes after Professor Landry pretty hard. Maybe this will be his downfall as sheriff once again. Also be sure to check back Monday as I’ll put up my official odds on who killed the Dean.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 8

Lost is at its best this season whenever they focus on The Others, who were absent this week. While as Veronica Mars oddly enough is at its best whenever there is a scene in an elevator, which featured on in the past episode. But let’s see which episode was truly better by the numbers.


Words of Wisdom
Lost: Desmond got some from old chick that may or may not be a figment of his imagination
Veronica Mars: Logan got some from some young chick that may or may not be Dick’s sister-in-law
Winner: Veronica Mars


Music Requests
Lost: As a street-side performer in Desmond’s flashback/dream, Charlie played Oasis’s Wonderwall
Veronica Mars: Heather requested Nick Lachey’s What’s Left of Me for Logan
Winner: Veronica Mars


Return of the Evil
Lost: Mr. Widmore makes an appearance in Desmond’s flashback/dream to crush Desmond
Veronica Mars: Mr. Stultz returns as a suspect in the coach’s murder
Winner: Lost


Wait, They Are Still on the Show?
Lost: Pretty much any of the original passengers
Veronica Mars: Wallace
Winner: Veronica Mars


MIA
Lost: Everyone on Other’s Island, oh and the new cast members were also absent
Veronica Mars: Mac, Parker, Piz
Winner: Lost


Trickery
Lost: Hurley and Charlie get Desmond drunk to find out how he knows the future without him knowing that’s is their plan
Veronica Mars: Keith makes Ronnie breakfast to get her to come to office for work
Winner: Veronica Mars


Broken Up Over a Break Up
Lost: Desmond still is hung up on Penny years later
Veronica Mars: Logan is still hung up on Vee days later
Winner: Veronica Mars


Fooled You
Lost: Mr. Widmore made Desmond think that he was going to offer him some whiskey only to insult him during his flashback/dream
Veronica Mars: Dick led Logan to believe that his future wife had a sister that was basically a twin
Winner: Lost


Form of Entertainment
Lost: Soccer Football on the telly
Veronica Mars: Mario Cart
Winner: Veronica Mars


Leader Replaced
Lost: With Jack away, Locke has taken a leadership role
Veronica Mars: With Weevil on the straight and narrow, Arturo is the new leader of the PCH’ers
Winner: Lost


Marriage Problems
Lost: Without her father’s Desmond decides against proposing to Penny
Veronica Mars: After seeing her toes, Dick regrets getting married
Winner: Veronica Mars


Cliffhanger
Lost: “Charlie… You’re going to die.”
Veronica Mars: “Ms. Mars, you are under arrest for the aiding and abiding of the escape of Josh Berry. You have the right to remain silent…”
Winner: Veronica Mars


On the Internet
Lost: You can see the latest episode over at ABC.com or download Flashes Before Your Eyes over at iTunes
Veronica Mars: You can see the latest episode at CWTV.com or download Postgame Mortem at iTunes


There is nothing I hate more than dream sequences which is what made the most recent episode of Lost so excruciatingly painful to watch, like season two painful. What makes dream sequences so bad is that I never know what I’m supposed to get out of them: is it the character’s subconscious, is it what the writers want you to see. And the episode added another layer making us wonder if the whole thing actually happened, did Desmond really relive everything. And if that was so, how could he save Charlie the second time, if the first time around he died, then Desmond wouldn’t know he would have drowned had he not died originally. And this was basically the whole episode, with nothing happening except some puzzle pieces in Desmond back-story were filled, none of which were that interesting. Oh but next week there will be three big mysteries solve, which using previous Lost math means we will get thirty more questions to ask afterwards.

Luckily we have Veronica Mars who rarely is fails to move the storyline along. And we even get, as far as I can remember, the very first two part-er mystery of the week. And poor Wallace, he finally makes a triumphant return, to the team and the show, only to have his coach killed. I am kind of glad he bit the dust because I always thought they should have filled the coach’s shoes with a more high profile name like Charles Barkley, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, although they may want to cross Tim Haraway’s name of the list of potential replacements. I‘m also wondering if this will possibly tie into the Dean’s death.

But the best part of the night belonged to the Logan-Dick storyline and the girl Dick met that was so hot that he said he had to wear oven mitts just to feel her up and promised Logan her sister who was practically a twin. Logan delivered the great deadpan, “which one is yours when it turned out the sister was eleven. But it was the little girl that had the best lines including, “Do you want me to put highlights in your hair?” “I’m starting to smell like you” and “Quit flirting with me old man, I’m eleven. Geez that’s creepy.” And let’s not forget about her requesting Nick Lachey for Logan and the scene in the elevators. Why are all the Veronica Mars scenes set in elevators instant classics? I’m really hoping that Dick’s divorce doesn’t go too smoothly and is a future mystery of the week as you remember when Dick asked Logan if he knew any good lawyer, he responded he knew a lawyer, which presumably would be Cliff, which would the divorce proceeding even more entertaining.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 7

After three months, Lost finally came back and before the show I could care less. And a lot has changed to Wednesday since the show was last seen two. After the Fall Finale, there wasn’t anything worth watching on the day, but now it is almost as crowded as Mondays and Thursdays with Friday Night Lights moving there, Beauty and the Geek returning (although it ends next week), and the debut of the hilarious Let’s Rob Mick Jagger also known as Knights of Prosperity. And not only is Lost back, it is sadly at a new time because once again ABC and the show thought people lost viewers in the second season because it was up against karaokers not because it just wasn’t as good, same with the lame excuse that reruns were hurting the show’s creativity. But after last night’s episode, which was season one good, I’m back on board… for now. And since they were both on last night, it time for the first Toss Up of the year against Veronica Mars:


Disturbing Pregnancy
Lost: Juliet impregnated a male rat
Veronica Mars: Dick may have been the father of Bonnie’s baby
Winner: Lost


Case of the Ex
Lost: Juliet is caught stealing by her ex-husband while he was hooking up with the new “lab assistant”
Veronica Mars: Dick had to learn that his best friend hooked up with his ex-girlriend from Ronnie
Winner: Veronica Mars


Bad Hair Day
Lost: Juliet in the past
Veronica Mars: Madison in the present
Winner: Lost


MIA
Lost: All the original Losties but Jack, Kate, and Sawyer
Veronica Mars: Everyone except those with the last names Mars or Navarro.
Winner: Lost


Love Quadrangle
Lost: Sawyer, Kate, Jack, Juliet
Veronica Mars: Ronnie, Logan, Madison, Dick
Winner: Veronica Mars


Breaking In
Lost: Kate, Sawyer, and Alex broke into the facility to get Alex’s boyfriend
Veronica Mars: Ronnie broke in to Not-Lucky’s office to see his browser history
Winner: Lost


Caught on Film
Lost: Juliet found the trio when they showed up on the video monitor
Veronica Mars: The church people caught Ronnie coming out of the clinic
Winner: Lost


Commercials
Lost: Just your run of the mill ads
Veronica Mars: If you were in a certain area, you may have seen the marriage proposal that was supposed to run during the Super Bowl as Veronica Mars was the chick’s favorite show
Winner: Veronica Mars


On the Inside
Lost: Ben used to have a tumor
Veronica Mars: Dick may have a wadded up Maxim magazine where his heart should be
Winner: Veronica Mars


Shocker
Lost: Ben is Alex’s dad
Veronica Mars: Ronnie ended up not having Madison’s car cubed
Winner: Lost


On the Internet
Lost: You can see the latest episode over at ABC.com or download Not in Portland over at iTunes
Veronica Mars: You can see the latest episode at CWTV.com or download There’s Got to Be a Morning After Pill at iTunes


So Lost is back with a vengeance but there may be something that the two best episodes in this short season focused solely on the Other’s camp. And much like the season premiere, this episode started off with a Juliet flashback with the big shocker that Ethan was in it, and the bigger shock, they were both in Miami. And the even bigger shocker, she impregnated a dude rat. We also learn that Juliet may not have willingly stayed on the island, which is of course why she may have wanted Not-Henry dead. No there is how you do a flashback on Lost.

But the biggest shock of them all came when we learn that Not-Henry was Alex’s dad, or at least that is what he is referred to. If Not-Henry is really her biological father, Lost has a lot of explaining to do because Rousseau didn’t recognize him when she caught her in her next last season. My working theory is Not-Henry steals young kids because he can’t have then himself so he steals them and raises them as his own and brought in Juliet to help create his own (but hopefully not to impregnate himself, but in another woman).


No impregnated dudes on Veronica Mars this week but the thought of daddy Dick is almost as disturbing. Didn’t Ronnie tell those two to make sure to use protection? Somewhat of a down episode as I could care less about Bonnie or Not-Lucky (I have a feeling that he will find out Ronnie was in his office) and the roommate turning out to be the culprit seemed like a stretch. Plus I don’t like Ronnie turning soft at the end, starting to forgive Madison. Hopefully that wasn’t the start of Vee beginning to forgive Logan because the show is much better when they are at odds.

Case in point, the banter between Ronnie and her nemesis Dick again was the best part of the episode. I loved when Vee just randomly blurted out the Logan and Madison hookup just to hurt him and Dick suggesting he would be Ronnie’s rebound leading to the best line of the night, “Look, if we’re not going to have an empty sexual encounter I kind of have stuff to do, sooo…” I was also glad to see the dude from 21 Jump Street back if only because he was my initial lead suspect in the Dean O’Dell case.


Next week on Lost unfortunately we get back to the main camp with a Desmond-centric episode. Keep in mind the last one was the first and only episode where we saw something off the island that wasn’t a flashback.

Veronica Mars actually had a promo that didn’t suck as there was no hint of relationship stuff in site. The show looks like it will be in fine form next week and for those that don’t mind spoilers, you definitely want to head over to CWTV.com to see a Director’s Cut scene from the episode that has a shocking surprise from Dick.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 6

Lost is hitting .500 when it comes to finales. The first season finale was cumbersome and left most everyone upset that we didn’t actually get inside the hatch. The second season finale was much better as we learned why the plane crashed (maybe), what happened when the buttons aren’t pushed, and we even got a glimpse of someone off the island for the first time not via flashback. Even though last night’s Lost wasn’t a proper finale, we will have to wait three months until the next episode which is about the time of the summer break. But due to the hiatus, this will be the last Toss-Up until February. Well maybe longer depending how long the Veronica Mars break takes when it goes on hiatus at the conclusion of the first mystery arc. Well onto the Toss Up:


Love Triangle
Lost: Kate, Jack, Sawyer
Veronica Mars: Harmony, Keith, Harmony’s Husband
Winner: Lost


Wardrobe Decision
Lost: Kate had to decide between wearing a sack over her head or not
Veronica Mars: Ronnie had to decide between and Earnest bowling shirt or a crappy old shirt with a stupid saying
Winner: Veronica Mars


MIA
Lost: Dick, Mac, Weevil, Lamb
Veronica Mars: Claire, Charlie, Sun, and Jin
Winner: Lost


Admitting Their Crimes
Lost: Not-Monica admitted to her husband that she killed her father
Veronica Mars: Wallace admitted to cheating on his test
Winner: Lost


Desperation Sex
Lost: Sawyer and Kate getting it on when it looks like Sawyer will die
Veronica Mars: Keith and Harmony get it on after Keith’s near death experience
Winner: Lost


Machiavellian Plot
Lost: Everything The Others do seem way too complicated then they should be
Veronica Mars: Not-Lucky went too far out of his way to get Ronnie to find out Landry was a horn dog
Winner: Veronica Mars


Not Their Type
Lost: Kate is not Zeke's type
Veronica Mars: Parker is not Piz's type
Winner: Lost


Surprised to See You
Lost: Jack was surprised to see Kate when she begged for Sawyer’s life
Veronica Mars: Ronnie was surprised to see the Dean’s wife when looking for who was behind her term paper
Winner: Veronica Mars


Almost Caught Doing It
Lost: Jack sees Kate and Sawyer lying in the cage naked presumably after sex
Veronica Mars: Ronnie sees Landry and the Dean’s wife at the hotel presumably before sex
Winner: Lost


Jealousy
Lost: Jack was jealous that Sawyer got Kate before him
Veronica Mars: Piz is jealous of Logan for landing Vee.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Why You Should Boycott Fox
Lost: For canceling Firefly staring Kate’s husband
Veronica Mars: For not renewing Arrested Development which guest starred the Dean sans eyebrows
Winner: Veronica Mars


Cliffhanger
Lost: Not-Henry has an incision in his kidney, Sawyer has a gun to his head, and Kate has to decide with running and staying with Sawyer
Veronica Mars: Logan says he’s Mercer’s alibi for the rape that happened over the summer but can’t tell Ronnie what that alibi was
Winner: Veronica Mars


Next Time On
Lost: We get a Juliet flashback, but that is in February
Veronica Mars: Ronnie gets drugged, which will be seen next week
Winner: Veronica Mars


Another squeaker for Veronica Mars. But had Lost had been exciting for the whole episode as it was the last fifteen minutes, it may have won by a landslide as it went on hiatus. The Locke scenes were basically useless and I have a feeling I missed a scene in-between the one where Locke and Sayid got the shovels and the funeral where Locke and Sayid talked about where they were actually going and why. Presumably it was to get the Jesus stick but I bet there was a scene cut somewhere. Then throw in some boring flashbacks (of course are there any other kind recently).

But the big story this week was in Otherville, especially the last couple minutes. Yeah it’s safe to assume that Sawyer and Not-Henry will survive and Kate won’t leave Sawyer, but it still had me on the edge of my seat mostly because of Jack’s actions. It’s surprising that he would jeopardize his own escape just to get Kate away from Sawyer. And just how many times have we seen Kate cry in the rain? There was also what could be a very important line that many people may have missed in passing that I really need to hear again when the vengeful Other said something to the effect that, “Shepard wasn’t even on the original list.” And weren’t only good people “on the list.” Does this make Jack not a good person?

In other Otherville news, it looks like Alex take after her mother in the crazy department when she started to attack gun-toting people with a sling-shot. Just who is the guy she is looking for, is he an Other? A Tailie? And just where is her mother? I don’t believe we have seen her since she shot Not-Henry. And why did Juliet lie to Not-Henry when he asked if Alex asked for him. I really hate you Lost. Oh and see you in February.


Then on Veronica Mars we had an episode that was very reminiscent to last season when Vice Principal Clemmons sent Ronnie on a wild goose chase that ended in the then principal getting canned. This time around Not-Lucky laid a plan to have Vee find out her possible mentor is nailing the Dean’s wife, who seems to get around. Remember Chip Diller got 300 points for hitting that. Not-Lucky also informed us that there has been no DNA evidence found in any of the rapes that lends even more credence to my “The Lilith House Did It” Theory. Granted Not-Lucky’s serial killer bulitin board officially puts him on my list of suspects.

But the Dean’s wife wasn’t the only one getting their creep-on, as Keith finally acted on his feelings after a near death experience. That scene was really shocking, just when you think the show was about to do another musical montage with I’m Not in Love, BAM. But in an episode entitled Hi, Infidelity, Ronnie and Logan’s was the only one that went unharmed despite it highly being alluded to in last week’s preview. Another trouble in paradise preview this week, but with the ending, it may come to fruition next week. And I know a certain Clash lover who won’t be sad to see that breakup.

Speaking of the Clash lover (but really, who doesn’t love the Clash), Piz if defiantly growing on me especially after asking Ronnie out on a date that isn’t a date debacle as I been through such awkwardness myself. Then there is someone who grew on me a long time ago Parker who was giving me a Meg circa pre-Duncan vibe last night. And despite obviously crushing on Ronnie, how can Parker not be Piz’s type, Parker’s everyone’s type, well as long as she keeps her wig on. Speaking of the wig, does anyone else think Parker’s “wig” looks more real than her “real hair”? Of course if you look at the picture of Julie Gonzalo it’s pretty obvious that Parker’s “wig” is Julie’s real hair.

Also growing on me is Dean O’Dell. At first I though he would be a poor man’s Principal Clemmons, but his part dick, part moron is starting to be very entertaining in not a rip-off of Clemmons sort of way. And speaking of Dicks, where was he this week? I can’t go without my weekly fill of Dick for two weeks in a row. And for those keeping track at home, Dean O’Dell has been in more episodes this season than both Mac and Weevil.

Next week obviously no Lost, but instead we get Day Break. Of course the irony would be that it gets canceled early and ABC ends up having to put Lost reruns in it’s place. Then on Veronica Mars it looks like Ronnie will come face to drugged up face with the rapist. Or maybe not, I have a sinking suspicion that this is Nish’s revenge, remember she told Vee she would regret getting her fired. Then again, maybe it really is the rapist which begs the question who will come to her rescue. My money’s on good ol’ Chip Diller. Either way, at least there will be a Veronica Mars next week.

Oh and check out the prices of the first two season of Veronica Mars at Amazon to see if you can still get them at half price which they are as I write this.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 5

We are down to the last two Toss Up’s of this year as Lost will soon go on hiatus until February (luckily Veronica Mars won't) because people actually though all the repeats are why Lost took a creative dive last year and not all the long stretches of boring scenes and to numerous to count unanswered questions. Morons. But enough ranting on stupid people, it’s time for the Toss Up:


Still Has Trust Issues
Lost: Eko’s brother could never trust his motives
Veronica Mars: Even after all they have been through Vee still can’t trust Weevil
Winner: Lost


On Video
Lost: Weird dude with an eye patch in another hatch
Veronica Mars: Claire’s boyfriend
Winner: Lost


Neckwear
Lost: The crucifix Eko took from his brother
Veronica Mars: The necklace that Lily gave to Veronica
Winner: Veronica Mars


Costumes
Lost: The Others all dressed up like cultists for the one chick’s funeral
Veronica Mars: My sources tell me Logan and Ronnie dressed up like The White Stripes for Halloween
Winner: Veronica Mars


Kidnapped for Operation
Lost: The Others kidnapped Jack to operate on Not-Henry’s tumor
Veronica Mars: The Dean kidnapped his step-son’s father for bone marrow
Winner: Veronica Mars


Folk Hero
Lost: Juliet emulated Bob Dylan’s Subterranean Homesick Blues in her video to Jack
Veronica Mars: Johnny Cash’s Busted played over a montage of people appropriately getting busted
Winner: Veronica Mars


Memory Lane
Lost: Eko relieved his previous flashback
Veronica Mars: Pizza boy reminded Vee all the cool things she did in high school
Winner: Veronica Mars


Stolen Goods
Lost: Vaccines
Veronica Mars: Rich kids gambling money
Winner: Lost


Questions From Young Kids
Lost: “Are you a good man?”
Veronica Mars: “Shouldn’t you be, like, smart?”
Winner: Veronica Mars


Alias
Lost: Not-Henry took the name Henry Gale, referencing The Wizard of Oz
Veronica Mars: Keith took the name Adian Monk referencing Monk
Winner: Lost


Who’s?
Lost: Who’s that new chick that went to the Pearl station?
Veronica Mars: Who’s Pam?
Winner: Veronica Mars


Shocker
Lost: Eko dies
Veronica Mars: Claire lied about her boyfriend
Winner: Veronica Mars


An easy win for Veronica Mars as Lost slipped into season two mode with an uninteresting story. And with all three new cast members of that season now dead it’s almost an indication that season two was a failure. This especially true with Eko as he quickly became the most interesting character on the show only to be ruined by bad writing and flashbacks that made little sense. There was so much they could have done with Eko but squandered him for most of last season.

Then there is the question of why did Eko died? He came face to face with the Black Smoke last year and lived so why kill him now? And can we assume that the Black Smoke can take human form and that Eko wasn’t hallucinating his brother but it was instead the Black Smoke? And does that mean it was the Black Smoke that took the shape of Jack’s dad back in season one when Jack saw him, and same with Kate’s horse, Sawyer’s boar? But you know none of these questions will answered next week because Lost only raises new questions on finales, not answers them. And surly we won’t know for a few months who eye patch dude was. But is it safe to assume that the eyeball the tailies found back in the other station is this guys?

Then there’s the Jack storyline which I can’t make sense of either because the Others always seem to have the most elaborate plans so you can’t really tell if Not-Henry isn’t in on Juliet’s video. For all we know Not-Henry may not really have a tumor and that’s a set up for something else. But if he does, wouldn’t it have been a lot easier when the plane crashed and you learn one of the members is a spinal surgeon to just go to the camp and ask, “hey could you please remove this tumor” instead of concocting a plan that would take a couple months to complete?


Now onto the less aggravating show, Veronica Mars which had another solid episode this week. But I’m beginning to think the show is unable to produce a great episode that doesn’t include Dick. You know he would be a fan of gambling, couldn’t they put him in the casino. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to see what Dick would come up with for a Halloween costume? Plus the lack of Piz and Parker is just getting more annoying. How can I care about characters that aren’t there week in and week out? For those keeping track at home, out of the five episodes this season, Piz has been in only two. And that is the same number for Mac, Weevil, and Lamb.

But even without Dick there was plenty of high comedy including Lamb’s robot dance, Ronnie laying the smackdown to the little girl, “Who’s Pam?” and Ronnie’s number one fan at the pizza place even I the character was played by that annoying kid from Punk’d. The second and third storylines seemed to fall flat with the Dean and Wallace cheating but they my set up better things to come. And as much of a Johnny Cash fan I am, hearing him on Veronica Mars just doesn’t fit. Unless maybe it’s fro the American Recording era.

But back to the rap case, with what we leaned this week, my way out there theory from a couple weeks ago that it’s the Lilith behind the rapes my not far off. She may have just been the sacrificial lamb who got her head shaved to pin the crime on the Lampoon guys who said they’d rape the one in the middle two weeks back. She then lied about her boyfriend to make it look like she didn’t willingly had sex and doesn’t wear a wig like the other victims to bring more attention to the crime.

Next week on Lost we get the last episode for about four months and surely we won’t get answers but plenty of questions to ponder over those four months. Then on Veronica Mars we get an episode called Hi-Infidelity which may or may not be a reference to the great John Cusack movie High Fidelity (or possible the book the movie was based on) but hopefully not the REO Speedwagon album of the same name as the episode. It may also be referencing the Regina Spektor song Fidelity that played at the end of the football player episode. I found it odd that the show was playing a break-up song when Logan and Vee were ending their fight, but maybe it was just a sign of what was to come which would be great because I always thought Ronnie should dump Logan and start wearing an I (Heart) Dick t-shirt.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 4

Before I get to this week Toss Up between Lost and Veronica Mars, I just have to say Dick making a house call to the Mars apartment may have been the greatest scene in the whole series, from Dick saying he once picked up his maid there, to “Why rape a cow when you’re swimming in free milk,” to Dick calling the Mars kitchenette cute, and Dick saying thanks threw the door because Ronnie told him to leave now before she changed her mind. The Dick and Ronnie scenes are always the best so it make me wonder how long until Vee sports an “I (Heart) Dick” t-shirt. And seriously how has this scene not made it to YouTube yet? But anyways. Onto the Toss Up:


Tour around the Habitat
Lost: Not- Henry takes Sawyer up a hill to see that there are two islands
Veronica Mars: Dick invites himself around and scouts out Ronnie’s cute kitchen
Winner: Veronica Mars


Caught on Tape
Lost: Sawyer plotting his escape
Veronica Mars: The possible rapist was caught having Claire use her ATM
Winner: Lost


Back Together
Lost: Apparently the dude from The Drew Carey Show has worked with the creator of Lost before
Veronica Mars: The cast of Just Shoot Me
Winner: Veronica Mars


Welcome to the Family
Lost: Sawyer’s daughter
Veronica Mars: Logan’s half brother
Winner: Lost


Reading Material
Lost: Of Mice and Men
Veronica Mars: Heart Free Press
Winner: Lost


Double Cross
Lost: Sawyer used the dude from The Drew Carey Show to get out of jail
Veronica Mars: The dude from Calico Girls used the other Logan to scoop a story
Winner: Veronica Mars


Not
Lost: Not-Henry
Veronica Mars: Not-Charlie
Winner: Lost


Form of entertainment
Lost: Golfing with apples
Veronica Mars: Baywatch pinball machine
Winner: Veronica Mars


Forced Form of Entertainment
Lost: Watching cartoons in a shark tank
Veronica Mars: Being groped in a Boo Room
Winner: Lost


Follow the Money
Lost: Sawyer tries to make it hard for his daughter to find out who gives her money
Veronica Mars: Logan’s business made it hard to find out where his trust fund is going
Winner: Lost


Working for the Enemy
Lost: Jacks helps operate on an Other
Veronica Mars: Ronnie clears the Pi Sigs of any wrong doing
Winner: Veronica Mars


Work Clothes
Lost: Juliet wears her Dharma scrubs to operate on the dying Other
Veronica Mars: Vee wears a pants suit when interviewing the Pi Sigs
Winner: Veronica Mars


New Guys
Lost: In four episodes we’ve seen a fleeting glimpse one of the new chicks and not much more of the new dude
Veronica Mars: In four episodes, Piz has been MIA half the time and Parker was missing for one
Winner: Veronica Mars


A close win for Veronica Mars this week with both shows rebounding from poor outings last week. But here is something that is bugging me with both shows that I hinted at in the lat toss up of this week that both shows are not really doing a very good job handling the new cast members. Veronica Mars has done slightly better when they introduced Piz and Parker in episode one but Piz was missing from two of the next three episodes and Parker “went to the gym” after the previous episodes mini cliffhanger where she may have gone back home with her parents. Then on Lost aside from, Juliet, we have barely seen the two newbies and four episodes in and I done even know their names. What makes this more disturbing is how bad both show did last year introducing new characters leading to Jackie being written off while Ana Lucia and Libby both got killed off. Even the regulars seem to be missing this year as we have only seen Weevil, Lamb, Sun, Jin, Sayid, Eko once each this year. Of course I’m just saying this because I want to see more of Parker especially if she continues to wear her Jersey Mall hair wig.


Some big news on Lost this week, of course none of which answered any questions but instead raised some more, the biggest being that there are two islands. Now we know exactly why Not-Henry didn’t want Sayid to have the yacht. But this raises some big questions like how did Desmond not see the second island. And where exactly is the town we saw on in the opening scene of the season? It has to be on the main island if both Ethan and Goodwin could get there by foot, right? Or are there underground tunnels that we don’t know about? The other big unanswered question is who has the tumor on the back that Jack saw? Is this is why he was taken? Keep in mind only two more episodes new episodes until February. Oh and Sawyer is apparently a dad and Desmond can still see into the future.


Then on Veronica Mars, there was actually more happening than Dick visiting Ronnie. Dick, of course, was there to ask Vee to help get the Phi Sigs off the hook for all rapes because she did such a good job last year getting the brothers off for that rape case. Umm, did I miss something? I remember her clearing Troy’s name, but not the Phi Sigs. If fact didn’t she get them in trouble for their points board? But you got to love when she addressed the Phi Sigs as, “Dick, Chip, random Star Trek dudes.”

Then there was the whole Not-Charlie storyline, although I believe Ronnie called him Fake-Charlie instead. Great job by hyping the Logans being brothers all summer only to pull a fast one on us. I’ve never understood why people that run or act in shows don’t lie more to fight spoilers, it would at the very least more entertaining than the standard “I can’t answer that.” And then the other plot twist with the chick from Just Shoot Me who finds out that not only is her husband not cheating but he actually turned down someone’s advances.

And now for my way out there theory of the week: the rapist and the head shaver are two different people. Okay, so here’s how this plays out, after a rape occurs, the feminists swoop in and shave the heads to help their case in getting the fraternities and the Lampoon guys kicked off campus.