57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. IV

Quote of the Week: I was with her a year ago. You figure for her that was like two hundred showers ago. You ask yourself: Is two hundred enough? (Barney, How I Met Your Mother)

Song of the Week: Where I Stood - Missy Higgins (Smallville)

Big News of the Week: Kristen Bell Week: After four episodes of being bored out my mind enough to switch over to I Love New York to see if Midget Mac was still around, this week we finally get our first look at Kristen Bell on Heroes. Unfortunately it looks like from the promo that Kristen will be acting opposite of the worst actor of our time, the Absorbing Guy. But she was able to come away from Pulse unscaved so hopefully he doesn’t rub off on her. And if that weren’t enough of Ms. Bell, Tuesday also sees the release of the third season of Veronica Mars on DVD (see right) which features the FBI pitch that was unfortunately not picked up by The CW and looking at the ratings of the shows it picked up instead, that decision is looking even worse than before.

On a non-Kristen Bell note, I have made it known my dislike for those TV writers who write under the guise of the “gossip” label because they hide behind “sources” that tend to be wrong when citing these “sources.” But I was trolling a Friday Night Lights site recently to see a gossiper that will go nameless who recently wrote, “According to an informant, the Peacock recently sent out a reader survey and one of the questions was, ‘Would you be more likely to watch Friday Night Lights if it followed Heroes on Monday?’” Informant? I totally reported this two weeks ago (See 57 Channels vol. II). So not only these people have shady “sources” they have no problem stealing news without credit. You should leave that to the bloggers. On a brighter not, I have a new segment that is inspired by showing pictures to give the ladies out there for a Halloween costume which is pretty self explanatory.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Chuck: Can anyone explain to me why a DEA agent would have a eastern European accent? Seriously, couldn’t just saved this actress for the inevitable KGB episode? I know nothing can be perfect, but there seems to be something that really bugs me every week with this show. But my biggest problem this week was way too much Morgan. They really need to kill him off and promote Captain Awesome to series regular. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.


Everybody Hates Chris: Holy Dwayne Wayne sighting! I wonder if Eurkle is sitting at home watching the parade of forgotten black actors and wondering when he is going to get a call.



The Big Bang Theory: After the sub par outing last week with little Sheldon, the show gets back on track with a Sheldon-centric episode. I’m not sold on the Token Hot Chick as a character but the more along time with Sheldon, like how they went shopping this week, and that could turn her around. The only problem I had is that they tried a little too hard to make his mom into your token hillbilly with a kid nothing like her. That is not to say I wouldn’t mind seeing more of Laurie Metcalf on the shoe. Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download or The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.


Heroes: So last season they hyped this big bad even badder than Syler and it turned out to be Hearing Guy’s Dad? Seriously? We are supposed to believe and old balding fat dude is this completely evil. Yeah if this were a political show I could believe that, but as a superhero show I want something a little creepier than someone who looks like my high school science teacher. Speaking of Syler, we leave him last week in the middle of the jungle only to end up road side at the beginning of the next episode. Why even bother putting him in the middle of nowhere in the first place.

We get a new hero this week with Does Things from TV Girl. I would have liked her more if they didn’t sell her early with the tomato scene and had her first heroic scene being the wresting move. But anyways. This is usually where whine about how boring the episode was and I ask when Kristen Bell is showing up, but we all know when now. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.


Journeyman: Did Dan really start off the episode with an, "Oh boy"? And that may be my biggest problem with the show is that it takes itself too seriously except for a line or two per episode. They really need to work in an absurd storyline soon where Dan follows a carnie or maybe an animal. Just a whole episode of comic relief. But we did get a big twist this week where the science guy was able to call Dan in the past. I think it is easy to assume that the science guy’s association with Dan’s dad will have a major impact on the show. Although I’m not sure how Olivia would fit into all of this. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com. You can also download Journeyman on iTunes.


Pushing Daisies: I am not really fond of the show going back and revisiting the first case like this. IT may have been better if they did back to back episode or a two hour premiere, but it seems like a step back. And devoting the first segment of every show to retell Ned’s power has gotten old real quick. They really don’t need to dumb down the show that much, the “previously on” has done a decent enough job explaining to newcomers. But is a little hard to be too disappointing when the show also featured a hillbilly Chinese dude fighting Ned, the wannabe Jedi. Check out the latest episodes over at ABC.com.


Bionic Woman: Yeah, I think I am done with the show. And this past episode added confusion to the unlikable characters and boring writing. Like what happened to the doctor and why was the one dude so eager to kill him? How could they not have restraints strong enough for the Bionic Woman? They know how strong she is. I may catch it every once and a while to see if it ever reaches its potential, but it is officially off my must see TV list. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.


My Name Is Earl: To all the kids out there, this past episode is the very reason you should stay off drugs. That’s pretty much all I have to say about this episode. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.


Survivor: Can someone explain to me how the contestants got their bathing suits? Did I miss something? They made a big deal about living with no possessions the first week only to give them running shoes that episode and now they all have bathing suits. Cheap. And that wasn’t even the worst part about the episode with the two girls throwing the challenge. Now I am not one to argue their strategic element of doing so, but you can’t do it so blatantly then giggle about it. Now there is no way either of those two win. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.




Friday Night Lights: This is the tale of two episodes. The scenes with Riggins and Lyla, Landry and Tyra, Matt trying to get the nurse to do his laundry, and Coach Taylor’s passive aggressive chat with Buddy on the phone were classic Friday Night Lights. But there were some eye rolling moments with Julie in the car, Matt tackling Smash after the game, and of course bringing up the murder again. Although from the promo, it looks like next week will be the make or break storyline for the murder so I will hold off final judgment of that until at least then. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.


I would also like to mention that the kind people over at FX were nice enough to hook me up with the first two episodes of Nip/Tuck and I’ve watch the first one so far and there is a show inside the show staring Bradley Cooper and Paula Marshall, Hearts and Scalpels, that is extremely hilarious, although the explicate surgery scene reminded me why I didn’t start watching the show in the first place (not too mention the gratuitous male nudity I could have done without). I’ll have a more in-depth post on the show closer to the season premiere October 30.


Promo of the Week: Interesting that NBC would prominently feature Kristen Bell in the Heroes promo this week. Apparently they know something that The CW could never figure out. Well I guess that is an obvious statement for many other reasons that just the use of Bell.




Next Week’s Pick: Saving a Species, Friday at 9:00 on the Animal Planet: Why watch this Gorillas on the Brink documentary? Two words: Natalie Portman. Oh, and the whole bring a light to the endangered species of mountain gorillas is a worthy cause. The episode follows Portman along with Jack Hanna as they visit Rwanda’s Volcanoes National Park.

He May Be Mellow, He May Be Kind

For those of you that like Amy Winehouse but can do without all the cursing, the creepy beehive, and the imminent drug overdose, I have an artist for you: Sharon Jones. Much like Winehouse, Sharon sounds like an old, overweight black lady, but unlike Winehouse she actually is an old overweight black lady, and if we have learned anything from Aretha Franklin, the amount of soul someone is directly proportional to their waistline.

The similar sounds to the two artists are thanks to the Dap-Kings, the backing band for Jones who also appeared on Winehouse’s Back in Black thanks to their new found friend Mark Ronson. But Where back to Black sounded like a retro ode to sixties soul tunes, the third album from Jones and the boys, 100 Days, 100 Nights sounds like it come out of the Stax recording studio.

It hard to say who is more valuable on the disk, Jones or the Kings. Jones sings from her soul without having to wave her hand like some of the modern day pop princesses while the Dap-Kings are crisp throughout positioning themselves as the greatest house band since Booker T & the MG’s. Whoever you decide on, we can at least agree that it is a good thing the two hooked up.

Song to Download - 100 Days, 100 Nights

100 Days, 100 Nights gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Feed Your iPod vol. VIII: Award Tour

This has almost inadvertently become A Tribe Called Quest month with a couple of posts dedicated to the seminal rap group (and another on the way), but if any group deserves a month in their honor it would be Q-Tip, Phife Dawg and crew. And if you only have room for one A Tribe Called Quest song on your iPod, Award Tour should be that song.

The song is the one that really got me into A Tribe Called Quest. I had appreciation for their first two albums, but for the most part when they came out I was your token annoying suburbanite kid that listened to mostly hardcore gangsta rap. But Midnight Marauders came out right around the time I was widening my musical spectrum and Award Tour had this refreshing jazzy vibe compared to all the P-Funk and James Brown samples coming from the gangsta.

The song, which feature fellow Native Tongues members De La Soul on the track and in the video, also taught me an important lesson that, “You can be white and blue but don’t crap the roll.” So give the song a listen and if it isn’t already there consider feeding your iPod.

Award Tour - A Tribe Called Quest



Feed Your iPod is meant to highlight songs that may not have been big hits but should be on everyone’s mp3 player. Shoot me an e-mail if there is a song you think should be included along with a short paragraph why and maybe it will be featured in a future segment.

Introducing Amazon MP3

Quietly a couple weeks ago Amazon launched its own music download store, the aptly title Amazon MP3 store. This is noteworthy compared to the other online music stores that still get crushed by iTunes is that Amazon MP3 is the first online store that offers DRM-free songs from major record labels. For you non computer geeks out there DRM (Digital Rights Media) is what keeps you from putting songs you download from iTunes on other MP3 players, tells you how many computers you can put the song or how many times you can burn a song to CD. So songs downloaded from Amazon MP3 are free for you to do whatever you want with them like the ones you downloaded from Napster years ago. Granted this also means they have significantly less number of songs than any other music store. Here is what Amazon says about its new store:

Amazon MP3 offers Earth's biggest selection of a la carte, DRM-free MP3 music downloads. With over 2 million songs from more than 180,000 artists represented by over 20,000 major and independent labels, Amazon MP3 complements Amazon.com’s existing selection of over 1 million CDs to offer customers more selection of physical and digital music than any other retailer.

Every song and album on Amazon MP3 is available exclusively in the MP3 format without digital rights management (DRM) software. This means that Amazon MP3 customers are free to enjoy their music downloads using any hardware device; organize their music using any music management application, and burn songs to CDs.

Most songs are priced from 89 cents to 99 cents, with more than 1 million of the 2 million songs priced at 89 cents. The top 100 best-selling songs are 89 cents, unless marked otherwise. Most albums are priced from $5.99 to $9.99. The top 100 best-selling albums are $8.99 or less, unless marked otherwise.

Every song on Amazon MP3 is encoded at 256 kilobits per second, which gives customers high audio quality at a manageable file size.

For those of you like me that like to dip their toes in the pool before diving in, the store is offering a free download of Energy by The Apples in Stereo where you can test out their product without actually spending the money. It only take a couple minutes to set thing up, it is no way as near as frustrating as the Unbox set up and download, and you should have the song playing within five minutes.

For anyone who is interested I will keep a link to Amazon MP3 on my sidebar for easy access from the 9th Green (full disclosure: I get a whopping 20% commission, granted that is only 20 cents per song, but I would be able to buy that gumball I’ve been eyeballing) and you can always buy the songs through the album ad for Amazon I post in every music review. And since the songs are DRM-free and sometimes cheaper (DRM-Free songs on iTunes are $1.29 per song), it is always worth looking to see if Amazon has it first before buying from iTunes. For fun below is a widget featuring songs from my list of 100 Best Songs of 2006 below (for those keeping track at home, only 22 songs on the list are available through Amazon MP3):

I Want My Music Television vol. VII

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Hot - Avril Lavigne



Just in time for Halloween, quite possibly the scariest music video since Thiller. Seriously, the Marilyn Manson pop bride and uber-bangs looks just are not working for Avril Lavigne. Although in a measure of full disclosure the green get up almost makes Avril look attractive. Now if only she would get rid of the silly pink extension.


Won’t Go Home Without You - Maroon 5



In a shocking twist to a Maroon 5 video, it doesn’t feature Adam Levine (not to be confused with the previously mentioned Avril Lavigne) making out with various token hot chicks. And if I am not mistaken, the chick that Levine doesn’t make out with looks a lot like Rousseau’s daughter on Lost after a couple showers. Can anyone get confirmation to if that is her?


Hate That I Love You - Rihanna and NeYo



Well that well was gratuitous. Um, not that I am complaining or anything. The song is actually kind of catchy too, which is a plus so I don’t have to watch it with the mute button on. But should I know who this NeYo character is?


Falling Down - Duran Duran



Speaking of gratuitous, did we really need the five minute intro of some Lohan type being dropped off at some weird model detox place? The Notorious riff at the end was a nice touch though. As for the song, with Timbaland as the producer, it still sound what one would expect a Duran Duran song would sound like. Hopefully there are better tracks when the Red Carpet Massacre is released later this year.

Lyrics Quiz: Blog Action Day

Supposedly today is Blog Action Day where people are to write about the environment. I really hate these types of events because getting people to do something for one day does not make a habit and in the big picture rare put a dent on whatever they are trying to accomplish. Personally everyday I try to cut down my carbon footprint, I have been using energy efficient products for a couple years now and am pretty diligent to turn thing off at the surge protector when not in use. I haven’t yet converted to an energy efficient car yet on account that I’m poor. Although if Al Gore truly cared about the environment he would use his Nobel Prize money to buy me a Prius. Granted if Al Gore truly cared about the environment, he wouldn’t have flown to the ceremony in a private jet. But anyways.

But since the day fell on the 15th I figure I would do my very little part and have a environment themed Lyrics Quiz. Much like every Lyrics Quiz, please post your guesses, title and artist, in the comment section (or you can e-mail me) and if you are correct I will unbold the lyric and give you credit. The Lyrics Quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please do not use anything besides your own meandering mind to help you up with the answers. Now onto the Lyrics Quiz:

Hints:

1. I went with the more environmental lyrics but my favorite line is “What about the babies (Whole Lotta Money)” far apparent reason once you figure out the artist
3. To the astute music fans, the numbers should tip you off to who the artist is.
16. The lead singer of this band recently released an album surprisingly named after this band of which he spent decades feuding with after disbanding it.
17. The budget for this video was donated to various charities with the video itself showing where that money went.
24. One of the very first rock acts to get eco-friendly possibly thanks to the lead singer’s love of surfing.


1. What about sunrise, what about rain? What about all the things you said we were to gain?
2. Oil wasted on the ocean and upon our seas, fish full of mercury. (Mercy, Mercy Me (The Ecology) - Marvin Gaye; guessed by Slaygal1981)
3. Don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky. It slips away; all your money won’t another minute buy. (Dust in the Wind - Kansas; guessed by Dara)
4. Hey now, maybe we can find a good reason 2 send a child off 2 war. So what if we’re controlling all the oil is it worth a child dying 4?
5. We can live beside the ocean; leave them far behind. Swim out past the breaker; watch the world die. (Santa Monica- Everclear; guessed by Slaygal1981)
6. Got Styrofoam boxes for the ozone layer. Got a man of the people, says keep hope alive. Got fuel to burn, got roads to drive. (Rockin' in the Free World - Neil Young; guessed by Slaygal1981)
7. I want to feel sunlight on my face. I see the dust cloud disappear without a trace. I want to take shelter from the poison rain. (Where the Streets Have No Name - U2; guessed by Slaygal1981)
8. I can breathe my own air. I can sleep more soundly upon these poor souls. I’ll build heaven and call it home. (Don't Drink the Water - Dave Matthews Band; guessed by Angie)
9. People are lonely and only animals with too many tools that can build all the junk that we sell. (The Horizon Has Been Defeated - Jack Johnson; guessed by Slaygal1981)
10. In the middle of the night I go walking in my sleep through the jungle of doubt. (The River of Dreams - Billy Joel; guessed by Slaygal1981)
11. Her green plastic watering can for her fake Chinese rubber plant. (Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead; guessed by Dara)
12. The oil down the desert way has been shakin’ to the top. The sheik he drove his Cadillac, he went a cruising down the ‘ville. (Rock the Casbah - The Clash; guessed by Slaygal1981)
13. This old man I've talked about broke his own heart, poured it in the ground, big red tree grew up and out. (Feed the Tree - Belly; guessed by Dara)
14. Farmer put away your DDT. I don’t care about spots on my apple; leave me the birds and the bees. (Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchell; guessed by Angie)
15. I want to breathe in the open wind. I want to kiss like lovers do. I want to dive into your ocean. (Here Comes the Rain Again - The Eurthymics; guessed by Slaygal1981)
16. I can hear the bullfrog calling me. Wonder if my ropes still hanging to the tree. Love to kick my feet way down the shallow water. Shoefly, dragonfly, get back to your mother.
17. I’ll tap into the water try and bring my share. Try to bring more, more then I can handle. Bring it to the table, bring what I am able.
18. The tiny island sails downstream ‘cause the life that lived is dead. (Wind Cries Mary - Jimi Hendrix Experience; guessed by Slaygal1981)
19. Hanging on to hope when there is no hope to speak of. And the wounded skies above say it’s much, much too late. (Praying for Time - George Michaels; guessed by Slaygal1981)
20. Check it, since 1516 minds attacked and overseen. Now crawl amidst the ruins of this empty dream. (People of the Sun - Rage Against the Machine; guessed by Slaygal1981)
21. Now back at the homestead where the air makes you choke. (Walk on the Ocean - Toad the Wet Sproket; guessed by Dara)
22. Nations dropping bombs. Chemical gasses filling lungs of little ones. With ongoing suffering as the youth die young. (Where Is the Love? - Black Eyed Peas; guessed by Slaygal1981)
23. Out where the river broke. The bloodwood and the desert oak. Holden wrecks and boiling diesels. Steam in forty five degrees. (Beds Are Burning - Midnight Oil; guessed by Slaygal1981)
24. It's a shame to awake in a world of pain. What does it mean when a war has taken over?
25. Little darling I feel that ice is slowly melting. Little darling it seems like years since it’s been clear. (Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles; guessed by Slaygal1981)

If Any of Us Get Laid Tonight, it's Because of Eric Bana in Munich

Aw alcohol, the great equalizer. This is the reason why I tend to volunteer to be the designator driver, not because I enjoy driving drunken people around but because I would much rather be the mistake than make the mistake. Off course the free Coke’s are a nice bonus. And this mistake in lies the premise for Knocked Up. Although in a twist, it is the boy who is playing the role of coyote ugly.

The movie is the next in a string of hit movies by Judd Apatow and in true Apatow style the film is full of actors he has previously worked with on like the prematurely canceled shows Freaks and Geeks (Seth Rogan, Jason Segal, Martin Starr, and James Franco in a cameo), and Undeclared (Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogan) as well as his break out hit as writer, director, producer, The 40-Year-Old Virgin (Jonah Hill, Lesie Mann, Seth Rogan, Paul Rudd and Steve Carell in a cameo).

Rogan, in his fourth outing with Apatow, is promoted to leading man this time around as he wins the DNA lottery when he impregnates Katherine Heigl (My Father the Hero). Well at least they want you tom think this is a coup for Rogan, but as Token Hot Chicks go, Heigl is up there in the overrated category, along with Megan Fox in recent memory. But much like a Chicago Bears quarterback, she isn’t there to win the game just not to lose it which she does for the most part (she have more that a few deer caught in the headlight look as some of them ad-lib which you can find in some of the deleted/extended scenes).

Instead Apatow regulars handle the brunt of the comedy load. Hill, Rogan and Rudd are on fire throughout the movie, which is pretty much the Dances with Wolves of comedies with a two plus hour running time (not to mention an extra hour of those deleted and extended scenes and three hours of features), but thanks to those three it rarely seems that long. Rogan and Rudd don’t have an exchange as funny as their improve “You know how I know you’re gay” routine from The 40 Year Old Virgin but Hill comes close as he explains why Brokeback Mountain is a horrible movie in a deleted scene while Heigl looks on with a why did I sign up for this movie look on her face.

Knocked Up gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.