We on Award Tour: 2006 Emmy Awards

The Emmys have come and gone. Yawn. It’s never a good sign while watching an award show you start to wonder just how much weight the dude from The Love Boat has lost. The opening bit was funny, but I couldn’t help think I’ve seen it before. Well that was until Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC shows up, easily the funniest part of the opening montage although the start was a little queasy with the recent plane crash. They could have started the montage with Conan O’Brien on the beach. But it was nice that Conan got the prerequisite Mel Gibson joke out of the way early. Now we only have to wait a couple days to hear what Jack Black has to say about Mad Max. But anyways. Usually for award shows I joy down some thoughts, but considering beforehand I really didn’t care about them and I would undoubtedly be turning into Flavor of Love eventually to see if anyone did their business on Flav’s carpet this week. So here are some of the things that stood out off the top of my head:


- I guess I’ll get this out of the first because it seems that it is all that matters to award show watchers, but my award to chick from the red carpet I’d must like to have dirty, dirty sex with goes to Eva Longoria. As for the worst, that goes to the chick from Grey’s Anatomy for looking like Tommy Lee circa the Girl Don’t Go Away Mad (Girl Just Go Away) era.

- Not only did Will & Grace get more nominations than the networks that make up the new CW but they even had more presenters than them. And had Aaron Spelling not have died, the CW would have gotten no face time at all. There also something to say about how not Will nor Grace were asked to present but the two “supporting” actors did. And of course I’ve asked this the past five years but is Will & Grace seriously still on the air?

- Speaking of Spelling, after watching the montage of his shows I came to the realization that I did not watch one of his shows. Maybe the critics were right about him. Now Dick Clark, there’s a guy who deserved a tribute although they could have done better than the dude from the kareoke show and Emmy award winner Barry Manilow. Even when I went out on New Years Eve, I still tape his Rock n Eve every year.

- The Bob Newhart gag throughout the night always got a good laugh, but it was a little disappointing that they let him out before the end of the show, fake-killing Newhart would have been funnier than the telephone banter they had after they left him out.

- I’m sure the Tivo gag was funny, but when less than five percent of the population, me included, doesn’t own one, it really ended up being less funny then the Sheens. Now for a bit that was funny, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar coming out with Ernst and Young accounting team. Classic.

- It was nice to see the My Name Is Earl pilot win for Best Director and Best Script, because I really can’t remember laughing harder at any half hour on television then the first episode of that show. Plus the writer gave the best acceptance speech of the night declaring who he wasn’t going to thank. I don’t know what is more disturbing, that Two and a Half Men got nominated over Earl in the Best Comedy category or that Two and a Half Men was the most watch category last season.

- As for the funniest presenters, that easily goes to Stephan Colbert and John Stewart. Too bad the audience didn't realize that Colbert was making fun of them. And it was funny when he complained about losing to Barry Manilow; when Craig Ferguson did, not so much.

- This isn’t Emmy related but a chick on Flavor of Love just referred to Flav’s manhood as “pee-pee.” How endearing. How this show didn’t get nominated for best reality show is beyond me. And really why give out the award if you are just going to hand it to The Amazing Race every year?

- Is it wrong that I was happy that 24 won for Best Drama solely for the reason that it meant the overrated General Hospital in primetime rip-off didn’t win?

- As for the other big winner, I would really like an Emmy voter to a line up The Office and Arrested Development side by side and explain exactly how The Office is funnier. But on the bright side, at least they didn’t declared Desperate Housewives the funniest show on television (stupid foreign press).


Well that was a waste of three hours especially if the best parts end up on YouTube. Just some programming notes as it will be a busy week as a bunch of great artists (and Jessica Simpson) released albums this week, so I hope to get most of those reviewed as well as my thoughts on the upcoming Video Music Awards which should be out by Friday if not Thursday.

2006 Emmy Nominations: A Week Later

This time last week, like many of my fellow blogger that routinely wax poetic about our favorite television shows ripped the Emmys different year, same results despite the new voting system. But after a week of thinking about it I have come to realize it is not the new voting system that is still flawed, in fact it may not have been broken in the first place.

If you let me go on a tangent for a moment, last year Rolling Stone put out a list of the 500 greatest songs of the Rock ‘n’ Roll era and like most lists of its ilk, I overanalyzed every selection and read through it multiple times. There were a bunch of sequencing issues that bugged my like my two favorite songs, All Along the Watchtower and Superstition were 48 and 74 respectively. But the part of the list that really got under my skin was how songs from formative years were omitted with bands like Dave Matthews Band, Beastie Boys, Weezer, and A Tribe Called Quest getting overlooked. To put things in perspective, The Beatles charted 23 songs while there were 24 songs released in the nineties on the list.

At the end of the list, Rolling Stone also published the list of music journalist and musicians that made up the panelist and there was a distinctive characteristic that ties most of them together: they were extremely old. If fact when I scanned the list the only people on the list that I was familiar list (and that was most) the only ballots cast by people under forty were by members of The Donnas. So for the first time in my decade of subscribing to the magazine, I actually wrote them a letter about it, granted they did edit it before printing it, they took out the part where I wrote “You did something that even the Republican were unable to do this year: suppress the youth vote.”

Back to the Emmys, unlike the Rolling Stone list where the voters were released, we don’t know (at least I don’t) who the Emmy voters are, but I think it is safe to assume that they are all extremely old themselves which could explain Martin Sheen, and if there is anything my grandpa taught me, old people love Martin Sheen. So in my long winded explanation, it’s not the voting system that is flawed, it’s the people that are doing the voting who are most likely well past the age of the majority of television watchers which could explain how Stockard Channing could get a nomination for a show no one watched over her more deserving, younger contemporaries.

So instead of changing the voting system, what the Emmys need to do is change how the select voters to get more younger people involved, then maybe Lauren Graham, Kristen Bell, and Everybody Hates Chris will get the respect they deserve because it’s not their respective channels get overlooked, it’s that old people just don’t watch UPN or WB. But with all the rampart ageism in this year’s nomination who would have, five years ago predicted, the chick from Poison Ivy 3 (and I know all the guys out there, or at the very least saw the clips) would be the only actor of her generation to get a nomination?

One other suggestion I made last week, that may have got lost in the shuffle since it was at the bottom of a very long post, so I put it here so it will get more viewers (or you can always check out my original Emmy Nominations post):

Usually I prepare what I am going to write the night before and I had an anti-Desperate Housewives being included in the Comedy categories rant already to roll, but surprisingly only one supporting nomination this year so I was unable to use it in the individual nomination analysis. But since I thought it was a good idea, I’m still going to throw it out there to the people who run the Emmys: create a new Dramedy category. Back in the eighties and earlier, most shows were strictly in either in the drama or comedy column. But in the nineties and shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Ally McBeal, more and more shows are equal parts laughs and tears and have been routinely overlooked. And the addition of the category would benefit the award show because it would mean more stars to nominate. Had there been a Dramedy Series category, it may have looked something like this:

Desperate Housewives
Everybody Hates Chris
Gilmore Girls
Rescue Me
Veronica Mars

And to the Emmys people, if you do decide to use my idea, all I ask in return is to be included as one of the people that does the nominating. Oh and one of those gift bags you give out to all the presenters.

We on Award Tour: 2006 Emmy Nominations

If I had secondary headlines on this blog, this post’s would be, “Different Year, Same Results.” Much was made about the new nomination system for the Emmys this year where I believe all the nominators sat in a room and al watch each and every show’s entry. Yet looking through the nominations, it looks like the same old nominations with nods going to the old guard like West Wing. Will & Grace even got double digit nominations the most of any network show not named 24. I know I said this last year, and if the 9th Green was up a year before that, I would have said it then too, but seriously, Will & Grace is still on? I am now convinced that the Emmys are messing with my mind and the show really ended five years ago.

As for the former CW entities, they received a combined six nominations, two for Everybody Hates Chris (Costumes, Cinematography), Supernatural (Musical Composition, Sound Editing), Smallville (again, Sound Editing, CW will have a stranglehold on this category next year), and Reba (Cinematography). Wait seriously, Reba? No Veronica Mars, no Everwood, no Gilmore Girls, no Beauty and the Geek, but Reba gets a nod. To add more insult, even Kathy Griffin got a nomination. Okay that is officially reason number one why the new system failed, check out my analysis for many more reasons. But since I could care less about cinematography (sorry Reba), this is only an abridged list. For the excruciating long list, check out the Emmys site.


Comedy Series
Arrested Development, FOX
Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO
The Office, NBC
Scrubs, NBC
Two And A Half Men, CBS

Who Will Win: Curb Your Enthusiasm
Who Should Win: Arrested Development
Should Have Been Nominated: My Name Is Earl

So I will be complaining a lot today, but here is something the Emmys actually got right, no Desperate Housewives. Best Comedy Series should go to the funniest show on TV and even though it produces a few chuckles, anyway who actually laughs during Desperate Housewives should be checked into a mental institution. Also people who should be checked into a mental institution, anyone who thinks Two and a Half Men is funnier than My Name Is Earl. Earl, also Scooter Televistion Award winner for Best Sitcom, being snubbed is reason number two why the new system failed.


Drama Series
Grey's Anatomy, ABC
House, FOX
The Sopranos, HBO
24, FOX
The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: Grey’s Anatomy
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Veronica Mars

Reason number three that the new system failed, The West Wing here. All I have heard since Alan Sorkin left the show is how bad it is, yet it still gets nominated every year. And on that subject, everyone complained how much The Sopranos was down this year, yet it also gets its obligatory nomination. I’m sure a lot will be made about the omission of Lost here, but all they did was switch ABC’s big buzz show from last year to its big buzz show from this year. And much like last year this ear’s buzz show, Grey’s Anatomy will win. And hopefully like Lost this year, GA will fall off because I’ve never understood the allure of that show.


Reality-Competition Program
The Amazing Race, CBS
American Idol, FOX
Dancing With the Stars, ABC
Project Runway, Bravo
Survivor, CBS

Who Will Win: The Amazing Race
Who Should Win: Survivor
Should Have Been Nominated: Beauty and the Geek

I believe The Amazing Race has won this award every year and I doubt dudes sing karaoke will be able to change that. And Dancing the Stars gets the nod? Its has-beens and never-wills dancing. Where is the entertainment value in that? I’d take Beauty and the Geek, Real World/Road Rules Challenge and Flavor of Love over that show (or dudes singing karaoke) any day.


Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO
Kevin James, The King of Queens, CBS
Tony Shalhoub, Monk, USA
Steve Carell, The Office, NBC
Charlie Sheen, Two And A Half Men, CBS

Who Will Win: Larry David
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Jason Lee - My Name Is Earl

Probably the most pathetic category this year. And who in this category grew a 70’s gay porn mustache for their craft? Even if Jason Lee just stood there doing nothing for a half an hour, he’d still be funnier than any of these nominations. Seriously, Charlie Sheen and Kevin James? Reason number three why the new system failed. I could take Tony Shalhoub in a drama category, but not here. And where’s Jason Bateman? Again, much funnier than anyone here.


Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback, HBO
Jane Kaczmarek, Malcolm In The Middle, FOX
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures Of Old Christine, CBS
Stockard Channing, Out Of Practice, CBS
Debra Messing, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Who Should Win: Don’t Care

Okay, so I was totally wrong, this is the most pathetic category. I wasn’t even aware that Will and Grace or Malcolm in the Middle were even still on. I though The Comeback got canned a long time ago. Stockard Channing most like was just nominated because the panel though she was still on The West Wing. The sad thing is I can’t even think of someone to put in here. Jamie Pressly and Tisha Arnold are more supporting roles. But when it comes down to it, Kristen Bell is funnier than all these nominees.


Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Christopher Meloni, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, NBC
Denis Leary, Rescue Me, FX
Peter Krause, Six Feet Under, HBO
Kiefer Sutherland, 24, FOX
Martin Sheen, The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: Keifer Sutherland
Who Should Win: Denis Leary

Here is possibly the only place where the new system didn’t fail with the inclusion of Denis Leary, not that he has a chance of winning. I have a feeling that Sheen will get the it’s his last season so lets give him the award treatment but since he’s nominated elsewhere, they may give him to it there. But let’s face it, Ice-T is that star of SVU and it’s a travesty that Meloni got the nod over him.


Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer, TNT
Geena Davis, Commander In Chief, ABC
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, NBC
Francis Conroy, Six Feet Under, HBO
Allison Janney, The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: Allison Janney
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Kristen Bell - Veronica Mars

There are two crimes against humanity going on in this category. To start with, and the fourth reason why the new system failed, ageism. Year after year, the over forty crowd routinely, and most of the time undeservingly, gets nominated over their younger counterpoints and the new system didn’t remedy this. Everyone should give up hope that Bell will never be nominated for Veronica Mars because the Emmys will never recognize high schoolers or people that play them. And this isn’t even solely a Veronica Mars rant, no Evangeline Lilly, no Emily Van Camp, no Eva Longoria (the only Desperate Housewife not to be nominated last year and the only one under forty), no one from Grey’s Anatomy. Maybe if Gilmore Girls is around by the time Lauren Graham gets on the wrong side of forty, she will actually get nominated. And taking up a nomination from the under forty sect, Geena Davis who just so happens to double as the union leader or something like that. Nepotism anyone?


Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Will Arnett, Arrested Development, FOX
Jeremy Piven, Entourage, HBO
Bryan Cranston, Malcolm In The Middle, FOX
Jon Cryer, Two And A Half Men, CBS
Sean Hayes, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Jeremy Piven
Who Should Win: Will Arnett
Should Have Been Nominated: Doogie Houser - How I Met Your Mother

Reason number six on why the new system failed, the creator of the Lemon Law was denied. Two of the shows aren’t really on any more, then there is the inexcusable Jon Cryer nod. Those holes should have been filled by the other Arrested Development bit players David Cross and Jeffery Tambor.


Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Cheryl Hines, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO
Alfre Woodard, Desperate Housewives, ABC
Jaime Pressly, My Name Is Earl, NBC
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds, Showtime
Megan Mullally, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Alfre Woodard
Who Should Win: Jamie Pressly
Should Have Been Nominated: Jessica Walter - Arrested Development

The only thing comical about this award would be if the only non-comedy actress actually wins it. Did Woodard actually do anything funny this year? Interesting how the show dominated the lead category last year, but this is the only nomination this year. But no female made me laugh more in the past year than Lucille #1. Well okay Pressly did, but she had twice as many episodes.


Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
William Shatner, Boston Legal, ABC
Oliver Platt, Huff, Showtime
Michael Imperioli, The Sopranos, HBO
Gregory Itzin, 24, FOX
Alan Alda, The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: William Shatner
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Ryan Hansen - Veronica Mars

Yet another category without any shows I watch. Should I even now who Gregory Itzin is? But there was no one more entertaining this past year than Dick Casablancas. Biggest snub of the year.


Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Candice Bergen, Boston Legal, ABC
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Blythe Danner, Huff, Showtime
Jean Smart, 24, FOX

Who Will Win: Blythe Danner
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Diane Farr - Rescue Me

Yawn, another boring category. Lost in the shuffle of switching shows, Farr got lost in the shuffle as the lone female in the firehouse.


Guest Actor in a Comedy Series
Patrick Stewart, Extras, HBO
Ben Stiller, Extras, HBO
Martin Sheen, Two And A Half Men, CBS
Alec Baldwin, Will & Grace, NBC
Leslie Jordan, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Martin Sheen
Who Should Win: Ben Stiller
Should Have Been Nominated: Giovanni Ribisi - My Name Is Earl

Surprise, surprise, yet another category with shows I don’t watch. But I can’t imagine any of them were funnier than Earl’s not quite conformed old buddy Ralph.


Guest Actress in a Comedy Series
Shirley Knight, Desperate Housewives, ABC
Kate Winslet, Extras, HBO
Cloris Leachman, Malcolm In The Middle, FOX
Laurie Metcalf, Monk, USA
Blythe Danner, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Cloris Leachman
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Juliette Lewis - My Name Is Earl

Reason seven why the new system failed, did the Emmy people even watch Earl? This is really beginning to bug me.


Guest Actor in a Drama Series
Michael J. Fox, Boston Legal, ABC
Christian Clemenson, Boston Legal, ABC
James Woods, ER, NBC
Kyle Chandler, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Henry Ian Cusick, Lost, ABC

Who Will Win: James Woods
Who Should Win: James Woods
Should Have Been Nominated: Michael Emerson - Lost

I was all ready to put Henry Ian Cusick in the "Who Should Win" column thinking that was Henry Gale. But when I double checked, that dude turned out to be Desmond. These people are moron. And in my obligatory Veronica Mars plug, I’d through Harry Hamlin into this category.


Guest Actress in a Drama Series
Kate Burton, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Christina Ricci, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Swoosie Kurtz, Huff, Showtime
Patricia Clarkson, Six Feet Under, HBO
Joanna Cassidy, Six Feet Under, HBO

Who Will Win: Swoosie Kurtz
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Lucy Lawless - Veronica Mars

Her verbal beatdown of Sheriff Lamb along should have warranted Lawless a nod.


Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program
Barry Manilow, Barry Manilow: Music And Passion, PBS
Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Comedy Central
Craig Ferguson, The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, CBS
David Letterman, Late Show With David Letterman, CBS
Hugh Jackman, The 59th Annual Tony Awards (2005), CBS

Who Will Win: Stephan Colbert
Who Should Win: David Letterman
Should Have Been Nominated: John Stewart - The Daily Show/Oscars

One of the few times didn’t screw up with Leno not being nominated this year. But Ferguson over Stewart and Conan? At least Conan has hosting the show to fall back on.


Directing for a Comedy Series
Michael Patrick King, The Comeback, (Valerie Does Another Classic Leno), HBO
Robert B. Weide, Curb Your Enthusiasm, (The Christ Nail), HBO
Dan Attias, Entourage, (Oh, Mandy), HBO
Julian Farino, Entourage, (Sundance Kids), HBO
Marc Buckland, My Name Is Earl, (Pilot), NBC
Craig Zisk, Weeds, Good S*** (Lollipop), Showtime

Who Will Win: Don’t Know
Who Should Win: Marc Buckland

I was going to delete this like every other technical category until I noticed Earl got nominate here.


Variety, Music or Comedy Series
The Colbert Report, Comedy Central
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, Comedy Central.
Late Night with Conan O'Brien, NBC, Broadway Video
Late Show with David Letterman, CBS
Real Time with Bill Maher, HBO

Who Will Win: The Daily Show
Who Should Win: The Daily Show

So what’s the difference between this category and Best Comedy Series? Technically couldn’t The Office et al also be nominated here too?


Animated Program (for Programming Less Than One Hour)
Camp Lazlo, (Hello Dolly / Over Cooked Beans,) Cartoon Network
Family Guy, (PTV,) FOX
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, (Go Goo Go,) Cartoon Network
The Simpsons, (The Seemingly Neverending Story,) FOX
South Park, (Trapped in the Closet,) Comedy

Who Will Win: The Simpsons
Who Should Win: South Park

What’s most interesting here is the episode South Park submitted here, Trapped in the Closet also know as the episode that made Isaac Hayes leave, also know as the anti-Scientology episode. I have a feeling the South Park guys submitted this episode as a joke.


Writing for a Comedy Series
Arrested Development, (Development Arrested), Chuck Tatham, Jim Vallely, Richard Day, Mitchell Hurwitz
Entourage, (Exodus), Doug Ellin
Extras, (Kate Winslet), Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant
My Name Is Earl, (Pilot), Greg Garcia
The Office, (Christmas Party), Michael Schur

Who Will Win: The Office
Who Should Win: My Name Is Earl
Should Have Been Nominated: My Name Is Earl (Y2K)

Wow, more Earl love and there is no episode on any show that made me laugh harder this past year than its pilot episode. The Y2K episode is a distant second.


Writing for a Drama Series
Grey's Anatomy, (It's the End of the World, As We Know It (Part 1 & 2)), Shonda Rhimes
Grey's Anatomy, (Into You Like A Train), Krista Vernoff
Lost, (The 23rd Psalm), Carlton Cuse, Damon Lindelof
Six Feet Under, (Everyone's Waiting), Alan Ball
The Sopranos, (Members Only), Terence Winter

Who Will Win: Six Feet Under
Who Should Win: Lost
Should Have Been Nominated: Veronica Mars (Donut Run, Normal Is the Watchword, Not Pictured)

Odd choose of Lost episodes here with the first Eko-centric episode getting the nod. I don’t think that was even the best Eko episode. But I’d put up the trio of Veronica Mars episode against any of the other one’s nominated.



Usually I prepare what I am going to write the night before and I had an anti-Desperate Housewives being included in the Comedy categories rant already to roll, but surprisingly only one supporting nomination this year so I was unable to use it in the individual nomination analysis. But since I thought it was a good idea, I’m still going to throw it out there to the people who run the Emmys: create a new Dramedy category. Back in the eighties and earlier, most shows were strictly in either in the drama or comedy column. But in the nineties and shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Ally McBeal, more and more shows are equal parts laughs and tears and have been routinely overlooked. And the addition of the category would benefit the award show because it would mean more stars to nominate. Had there been a Dramedy Series category, it may have looked something like this:

Desperate Housewives
Everybody Hates Chris
Gilmore Girls
Rescue Me
Veronica Mars

And to the Emmys people, if you do decide to use my idea, all I ask in return is to be included as one of the people that does the nominating. Oh and one of those gift bags you give out to all the presenters.

We on Award Tour - 2005 Emmy Awards

The Emmy awards were announced so long ago, I almost forgot they haven’t actually given out the awards yet, but after watching the show. I kind of wished I had missed it. But to be honest I did watch The Simpson and Family Guy while they were on with the Emmys in the picture in picture. I did give The War at Home a second chance during the commercial breaks and it was just as bad as last week (See First Impressions). Well on to my observations:

- We start off with Earth Wind & Fire changing the lyrics to mention different television show. Ironically, most of the show mentioned weren’t even nominated. Granted this was a lot funnier when the Village People opened one of the MTV Movie Awards changing Macho Man into an ode to Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, Psycho (Expletive Deleted). The out of no where, the Black Eyed Peas storm the stage because in their contract with Satan, they are to perform on every awards show. Oscars, you’re next. The best part of this was when the members of both bands ran into the crowd to pick one of the nominees to dance with and the long haired pea started dancing with Raymond’s mom while another totally got shot down by Halle Barry.

- Then our host Ellen comes out for a laugh less monologue. What, they couldn’t get P. Diddy? Ellen brought up that two of the worst disasters in American happen after she was announced to host the Emmy and made a joke out of it. Yeah, that’s not really funny. I read that Pat Robertson blamed Ellen for 9/11 and Katrina. Granted I got this from what can be considered a reliable source (no offence Bob), but if this is true, does that mean that Robertson endorses Arabs who crash planes into building as long as they are protesting gay homosexuals? If so, it’s another reason to hate religious fanatics of all religions.

- Next we have the cast of Family Guy making fun of Desperate Housewives followed by the Desperate Housewives themselves. Wait, cartoons making fun of nominees, where have I seen this? Oh, yeah, Beavis and Butthead at the VMA’s.

- It is extremely disturbing that William Shatner won an acting award. It’s like Jennifer winning a Hip-Hop VMA and Hillary Clinton winning a Grammy. What’s next is Hurley going to win an ESPY?

- The Blue Man Group gave possible the best presentations in awards show history, but I must admit I was a little disappointed that Tobias wasn’t involved.

- And when I thought Veronica Mars couldn’t look any hotter when she was sporting her Madonna wear at her 80’s dance, she topped herself with the leg warmers and sweatshirt over the shoulder look during her performance of the Theme to Fame (click here to download). She gets extra props for not missing a beat even when one of the dancers dropped her. And for anyone who missed last season, if there isn’t a better reason to watch her show, I don’t know what is, well aside from being the best show on television last year. But anyways.

- Taking yet another page out of the VMA playbook they give out best male and female guest star awards at the same time. And to boot, one of them couldn’t read roman numerals. Did he skip fourth grade?

- The best writing awards montage showed exactly why these people should have been nominated. The best was Conan’s speeding though his writes to get to a slow-mo video of himself.

- Letterman comes out to pay tribute to Johnny Carson and this was a lot better than the news anchors tribute.

- Next we had some dude and Macy Gray joined by a choir to do a decent job singing the Jefferson’s theme. My new to top goal is to famous enough in time to be asked to sing the theme to Welcome Back Kotter at next years awards show.

- Winning the Calista Flockhart “I Haven’t Eaten in a Month” Award goes to the chick from Grey’s Anatomy.

- The best part of the night was John Stewart’s pre-tape political commentary, “George Bush hates black (Sabbath).” So Stewart, Letterman, and Conan were all there yet we have to put up with Ellen as the host? Stewie Griffin would have been a better choice to host.

- Of course any Academy Awards show is complete without some old dude who runs the whole thing making an appearance.

- Felicity Huffman is apparently the funniest woman on television. Um, did I miss something? How exactly does this happen? But at least we got to hear the funniest line of the night when Conan said he could finally live out his lifelong dream of disappointing four women at the same time.

- - Donald Trump wins the Emmy Idol. I smell a fix, was Don King involved or something? I would like to say to anyone who actually voted for Trump – You, my sir, are a moron. Now we have to put up with Trump claiming he is the greatest singer in the world for the next five years. Thanks.

- What was up with Hugh Jackman’s beard? Did he seriously let everything grow then shave off only the mustache?

- Lost wins best drama. Ho hum, Veronica Mars was truly the best show last season.

- And because the Emmy loves one last hurrah, Everyone (except me) Loves Raymond sweeps most of the comedy awards. So anyone who wants to win a Emmy, just end your show, you will be a show in. Which is better than the Grammys where you have to die to sweep the awards.


Final Tally
Predicted Correctly: 8 of 22 (.364)
Wanted to Win: 4 of 21 (.190)

We On Award Tour - 2005 Emmy Nominations

The Emmy’s were announced today and even though it pales in comparison to the STA’s (c’mon, it doesn’t even have a Hottest Token Hot Chick Category). I’ll go ahead and toss out my predictions.

Outstanding Animated Program (for Programming Less Than One Hour)

Family Guy - FOX
Samurai Jack - Cartoon Network
The Simpsons - FOX
South Park - Comedy Central
SpongeBob SquarePants - Nickelodeon

Who will win: The Simpsons
Who should win: The Simpsons

The problem with Family Guy is that it’s all about the gags in-between a weak plot, so The Simpsons who week in and week out produce good show gets the nod over South Park which has been spotty in recent seasons.

Outstanding Animated Program (for Programming One Hour Or More)

Dragons: A Fantasy Made Real I - Animal Planet
Star Wars Clone Wars Vol. 2 (Chapters 21-25) - Cartoon Network

Who will win: Star Wars Clone Wars Vol. 2 (Chapters 21-25)
Who should win: Star Wars Clone Wars Vol. 2 (Chapters 21-25)

Wow, only two nominees. Maybe they should make the cut off a half an hour. Oddly enough they consider Chapters 21-25 one entity instead of individual episodes.

Outstanding Commercial

Applause - Budweiser
Drink Up - Aquafina
Glen - Starbucks Doubleshot
The One Campaign - One.org
Surprise Dinner - Ameriquest Mortgage

Who will win: - The One Campaign - One.org
Who should win: Glen - Starbucks Doubleshot
Should have been nominated: Wonderful Tonight - SBC

The One Campaign is a cool stylish ad with a good message, but when I first saw the Glen commercial, I fell off my chair laughing. I’m sure you remember this one with a Survivor knock off band following around some dude, presumably named Glen, replacing the Eye of the Tiger with Glen’s name. The current Starbucks commercial out right now with Hank being followed like a college basketball team to the sounds of Gary Glitter’s Rock and Roll part 2 is actually better but most likely not eligible because it’s new. Wonderful Tonight is much better than some of the others on the list.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Jason Bateman as Michael Bluth - Arrested Development - FOX
Ray Romano as Ray Barone - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Tony Shalhoub as Adrian Monk - Monk - USA
Zach Braff as John “J.D.” Dorian - Scrubs - NBC
Eric McCormack as Will Truman - Will & Grace – NBC

Who will win: Ray Romano
Who should win: Jason Bateman

Nothing say awards sweep like the season, so you will see “Raymond” multiple times on Emmy night but Bateman on Arrested Development is much funnier. And is Will & Grace still on the air?

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

James Spader as Alan Shore - Boston Legal - ABC
Ian McShane as Al Swearengen - Deadwood - HBO
Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House - House - FOX
Hank Azaria as Dr. Craig “Huff” Huffstodt - Huff - Showtime
Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer - 24 - FOX

Who will win: Ian McShane
Who should win: don’t care
Should have been nominated: Denis Leary

I don’t watch any of the shows nominated which goes to show that the Emmy voters are morons. McShane will win only because the Emmy’s are obsessed with HBO and without the Soprano’s, the other HBO show will win here. Leary performance on Rescue Me all season was thoroughly solid and deserved a nod, but I might be bias here considering I memorized No Cure for Cancer in college.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

Marcia Cross as Bree Van De Camp - Desperate Housewives - ABC
Teri Hatcher as Susan Mayer - Desperate Housewives - ABC
Felicity Huffman as Lynette Scavo - Desperate Housewives - ABC
Patricia Heaton as Debra Barone - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Jane Kaczmarek as Lois - Malcolm in the Middle – FOX

Who will win: Patricia Heaton
Who should win: Teri Hatcher
Should have been nominated: Eva Longoria

Heaton will win for two reasons: she’s part of the Raymond farewell tour and the Emmy like to distance themselves from the Golden Globes, thus no Desperate Housewives love. Speaking of Desperate Housewives, they left off the best actress on the show, Longoria. Without her, no one would be watching that show (and by no one, I mean men). Plus her debacles with the lawn boy are a lot funnier than Susan’s outrageous gag of the week.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Jennifer Garner as Sydney Bristow - Alias - ABC
Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - NBC
Patricia Arquette as Allison Dubois - Medium - NBC
Glenn Close as Capt. Monica Rawling - The Shield - FX
Frances Conroy as Ruth Fisher - Six Feet Under – HBO

Who will win: Glenn Close
Who should win: Jennifer Garner
Who should have been nominated: Kristen Bell

Another category I could care less about. Alias is the only show I watched but apparently the Emmy voters can’t spot Garner’s stunt double as easily as normal people because that’s where the real acting for Sydney Bristow takes place. It’s sad that the voter ignored the under-thirty crowd missing great performances by Evangeline Lily of Lost, Amber Tamblyn of Joan of Arcadia, and the woman who should have won, Kristen Bell of Veronica Mars. I’d even take Brittany Snow of American Dreams or Emily van Camp of Everwood over any of the current nominees.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Jeffrey Tambor as George Bluth Sr. - Arrested Development - FOX
Jeremy Piven as Ari Jacobs - Entourage - HBO
Peter Boyle as Frank Barone - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Brad Garrett as Robert Barone - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Sean Hayes as Jack McFarland - Will & Grace – NBC

Who will win: Brad Garrett
Who should win: Jeffrey Tambor
Should have been nominated: Ricardo Chavira

Every time George Sr. (or Oscar, who is mentioned in the nomination) appears on screen I end up on the floor laughing, but sadly one of Raymond’s relatives will walk away with the award. Carlos Solis was overlook as his hatred is just as entertaining as his wife’s infidelity. But seriously, is Will & Grace still on the air?

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

William Shatner as Denny Crane - Boston Legal - ABC
Oliver Platt as Russell Tupper - Huff - Showtime
Naveen Andrews as Sayid - Lost - ABC
Terry O’Quinn as John Locke - Lost - ABC
Alan Alda as Senator Arnold Vinick - The West Wing - NBC

Who will win: Alan Alda
Who should win: Terry O’Quinn
Should have been nominated: Enrico Colantoni

I would make the argument that O’Quinn should have been included in the Lead category as his character has become as big as Jack’s in the second half of the season. I also would have chosen Sawyer over Sayid, but this is Hollywood’s way to say “We love Iraqis.” But the only problem is that Andrews is Indian, not Iraqi. Colantoni was great as papa Mars, especially whenever he uttered the phrase, “Who’s your daddy?” to Veronica. But more importantly, where’s my homie, Ice-T?

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Jessica Walter as Lucille Bluth - Arrested Development - FOX
Doris Roberts as Marie Barone - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper - Two And A Half Men - CBS
Conchata Ferrell as Berta - Two And A Half Men - CBS
Megan Mullally as Karen Walker - Will & Grace – NBC

Who will win: Doris Roberts
Who should win: Jessica Walter

It’s odd that the only nominations Two and a Half Men get are in the female category. I didn’t even know there were women on the show. Mrs. Bluth is just a funny as her TV husband, but again Raymond’s mom will take it. Honestly, I hate Raymond and glad he’s leaving.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Sandra Oh as Cristina - Grey’s Anatomy - ABC
Blythe Danner as Izzy Huffstodt - Huff - Showtime
Tyne Daly as Maxine Gray - Judging Amy - CBS
CCH Pounder as Det. Claudette Wyms - The Shield - FX
Stockard Channing as Abigail Bartlet - The West Wing – NBC

Who will win: Stockard Channing
Who should win: Blythe Danner
Should be nominated: Maggie Grace

Just like lead actress, the Emmy goes for “Name” actress apposed to those who deserve it. Amanda Seyfried of Veronica Mars, Sarah Drew of Everwood, Allison Mack of Smallville, as well as Hottest Token Hot Chick winner, Maggie Grace should be recognized.

Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series

Fred Willard as Hank - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Victor Garber as Peter Bovington - Will & Grace - NBC
Jeff Goldblum as Frank/Scott - Will & Grace - NBC
Bobby Cannavale as Vince - Will & Grace - NBC
Alec Baldwin as Malcolm - Will & Grace – NBC

Who will win: Fred Willard
Who should win: Victor Garber
Should have been nominated: Shaft

Have no idea how a show that isn’t even on TV anymore (at least I don’t think it is) can get four nominations yet Shaft and Bob Newhart’s appearances on Desperate Housewives don’t get any love. Granted seeing Jack Bristow playing a gay homosexual was hilarious, but I swear that episode was on two-three years ago. Also Ben Stiller on Arrested Development should have replaced one of the Will & Grace nods and Ed Begley Jr. as the eye brow-less rival to George Sr..

Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series

Red Buttons as Mr. Rubadoux - ER - NBC
Ray Liotta as Charlie Metcalf - ER - NBC
Ossie Davis as Melvin Porter - The L Word - Showtime
Charles Durning as Ernie Yost - NCIS - CBS
Martin Landau as Frank Malone - Without A Trace – CBS

Who will win: Ray Liotta
Who should win: Red Buttons
Should have been nominated: James Earl Jones

Jones’ spot should have been recognized. The dude who played Arntz on lost should have been up there too. And what about the Termanator (v.2) not being nominated for Lost?

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series

Kathryn Joosten as Mrs. McClusky - Desperate Housewives - ABC
Lupe Ontiveros as Juanita Solis - Desperate Housewives - ABC
Georgia Engel as Pat - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Cloris Leachman as Ida - Malcolm In The Middle - FOX
Blythe Danner as Marilyn Truman - Will & Grace – NBC

Who will win: Cloris Leachman
Who should win: Lupe Ontiveros
Should have been nominated: Christine Taylor

I do love those Solises. Arrested Development again was sadly overlooked in the guest acting category.

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series

Swoosie Kurtz as Madeline Sullivan - Huff - Showtime
Cloris Leachman as Aunt Olive - Joan Of Arcadia - CBS
Amanda Plummer as Miranda Cole - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - NBC
Angela Lansbury as Eleanor Duvall - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Trial By Jury - NBC
Jill Clayburgh as Bobbie Broderick - Nip/Tuck – FX

Who will win: Angela Lansbury
Who should win: Cloris Leachman
Should have been nominated: Patricia Velasquez

Velasquez as Franco’s baby momma was one of the more memorial performances in recent memory. And what about the chick from Happy Gilmore not being nominated for Lost?

Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart - Comedy Central - Jon Stewart, Host
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - NBC - Jay Leno, Host
58th Annual Tony Awards (2004) - CBS Hugh Jackman, Host
Tracey Ullman Live & Exposed - HBO - Tracey Ullman, Performer
Whoopi Back To Broadway - The 20th Anniversary - HBO - Woopi Goldberg, Performer

Who will win: Jon Stewart
Who should win: Jon Stewart
Should have been nominated: David Letterman

One of the bigger crimes against humanity is suggesting that Leno is better than Letterman. This discredits and credibility the Emmy’s had. If Leno actually wins, some one needs to die a horrible death because of it.

Outstanding Comedy Series

Arrested Development - FOX
Desperate Housewives - ABC
Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Scrubs - NBC
Will & Grace - NBC

Who will win: Everyone Loves Raymond
Who Should Win: Arrested Development

I still missed the memo on why Desperate Housewives is a comedy because the reasons everyone comes back each week is because of the drama elements. But then again, they are not winning anyways. I’m still convinced that there were no new Will & Grace episodes this season.

Outstanding Drama Series

Deadwood - HBO
Lost - ABC
Six Feet Under - HBO
24 - FOX
The West Wing - NBC

Who will win: Deadwood
Who should win: Lost
Should have been nominated: Veronica Mars

Nothing says Emmy winner than lots of vulgarity and blood. And I thought storytelling should be the litmus test for a good show, but anyways. What should be here is the best show in production right now, Veronica Mars.

Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series

Da Ali G Show - HBO
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart – Comedy Central
Late Night With Conan O’Brien - NBC
Late Show With David Letterman - CBS
Real Time With Bill Maher - HBO

Who will win: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Who should win: Late Show with David Letterman
Should have been nominated – Pardon the Interruption

No love for ESPN as PTI is the most entertaining show on today. Unless it is considered daytime, then forget that gripe (At least until it is forgotten on the Daytime Emmy Awards). Letterman was rightfully nominated over Leno in this category, so no heads will roll.

Outstanding Nonfiction Special

Beyond The Da Vinci Code - The History Channel
Cary Grant: A Class Apart - TCM
Inside The Actors Studio: 10th Anniversary Special
Live From New York: The First Five Years Of Saturday Night Live - NBC
Unforgivable Blackness: The Rise And Fall Of Jack Johnson - PBS

Just wanted to give some love to Unforgivable Blackness: The Rise And Fall Of Jack Johnson as it was one of the most entertain shows on TV this past year.

Outstanding Reality Program

Antiques Roadshow - PBS
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition - ABC
Penn & Teller: (Expletive Deleted)! - Showtime
Project Greenlight - Bravo
Queer Eye For The Straight Guy - Bravo

Who will win: Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
Who should win: Project Greenlight
Should have been nominated: Made

The Emmy’s love gay homosexuals as seen by the multiple nominations for a gay show that isn’t on anymore (I’m convinced Will & Grace got canceled a while ago) even though Project Greenlight was solid every week. MTV’s Made is a great show that I’ll save my explanation why for a later post.

Outstanding Reality-Competition Program

The Amazing Race - CBS
American Idol - FOX
The Apprentice - NBC
Project Runway - Bravo
Survivor - CBS

Who will Win: The Amazing Race
Who should win: Survivor

If American Karaoke wins there is something seriously wrong with the Emmy’s. Well as a wise man once said, “I tried to think of something deep to say, but my well is dripping dry today.” So I’ll just stop there and not get into best hairdressing, editing, miniseries and so one. There are way too many awards at all these awards shows.