57 Channels and Only This Is On: June 4, 2023

 

Fatal Attraction:  Wait, the daughter is some slutty stalkers because of one conversation with Lizzie Caplan?  Really?  And she chooses to stalk… Johnny Crowder?  And I though Lizzie Caplan being murdered by the new husband was going to be the most inexplicable twist of the season.  Who could have guessed those two insignificant characters in the previous episodes would end up being so important to the finale?

 

The Blacklist:  How lucky were we that we got three episodes over the past week?  Lucky in that we are three episodes closer to the finale.  Yet we still got a month and a half to get there.  We did get a little more Siya backstory but I am still waiting for some bigger connection to Red and the season as a whole.

 

Fear the Walking Dead:  Oh yeah, Daniel is still alive, but the only thing I remember from him last season was that maybe he was brain damaged.  I guess he has recovered.  But so much for a mother’s intuition, where is Maury to say “you are not the mother”?

 

Saint X:  Note to showrunners, if you are going to do a murder mystery, do not have the twist be there was no murder.  I never thought Gogo and Edwin did it, but c’mon, at least have the boring white dude do it.  Though I missed how the sister knew he saw his sister right before she died.  Oh well.  At least the show gave us the strong message that if you have anti-man sex, it will ruin your life.  Happy Anti-Man Pride Month everyone.

 

Class of ‘09:  Would the FBI really let Kate Mara continue to be a field agent after she lost an eye?  Seems like having peripheral vision would be very import if you are working in the field.  But I wonder if the computer guy is the same guy who died in the future.  But I do not care enough to look it up.

 

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies:  That “race” looked like they were going five miles per hour.  But I am surpised they could not find a way to have both boys stay.  Speaking of boys, holy Zucko sighting.  Though clearly it is not Danny, who is likely in middle school with Rizzo and Frenchie.  Did everyone from the original movie have an older sibling?

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: May 28, 2023

 

Fatal Attraction: I am still pretty confident that Lizzie Caplan is not dead.  That is all I really can say because not that much interesting in this episode.

 

The Blacklist:  When they first called that person “agent Malik” I thought someone was impersonation Siya’s.  It was not until someone called her “Meera” that realized these were flashbacks.  Hopefully we get more of this the rest of the season because it is the only interesting part.

 

Fear the Walking Dead:  Not only did Morgan and Grace give up their kid, so did Dwight and Sherrie.  What happened these last couple years that all four just gave up like that?  We got some vague flashbacks last week, but it is still a bit puzzling.  Also puzzling, cutting of the index finger of someone you want to make a cure for zombieism.  That could come in handy, kind of stupid to cut it off.

 

The Clearing:  Yeah, I called the adult lady to be one of the kidnapped girls very early on.  Okay, I did think was going to be the most recent kidnapped girl.  I wonder if she will show up in the current timeline.  I wonder what happened to all those kids.

 

Saint X:  I have been saying the frumpy chick was the murderer all season, but after the penultimate episode, I am starting to have doubt.  I am beginning to think the “mistake” she talked about a couple episodes ago was to suggest the devil’s threesome.  Then after spending all season thinking that

 

Class of ‘09:  So they are done with the character of the week already?  Poor boring white dudes never got their own episode.  So are we to assume the one boring white dude lost his arm in the building collapse? 

 

Survivor:  Well, that was a bottom five season.  It has been a while since there has been a good one.  I looked back at my rankings and have not given any season over a “5” since David vs. Goliath. 

 

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies:  Why is Olivia’s parents given their blessing to her teacher?  How do they not think that is gross?

 

Yellowjackets:  I am confused.  Is that really the end of the Adam storyline?  Are the cops really going to believe that Kevyn killed him because Walter cyber framed him?  Are they just going to overlook that Kevyn had two bullets in him.  Oh, and that he actually died by being drugged.  And drugged at the same compound and day that a high school classmate also died from an overdose whose needle was injected into her chest.  Oh, and another one of his classmates and the owner of the compound had a bullet in her shoulder.  How exactly do they explain all that?  And wouldn’t six Yellowackets being on the premises  where two deaths and one shooting attract massive media attention.  Is this chapter really over or is Walter just being delusional when he said he fixed everything?  Feels like the Yellowjackets should be in a bigger mess than they were when it was just Adam.

 

But on the bright side, at least Coach Ben finally realized he should try to kill all those crazy benches.  Hopefully the writers take this extended writers’ strike to realize what went wrong and spend the downtown thinking up a coherent third season that can right the ship.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: May 21, 2023

 

Fatal Attraction: So Lizzie Caplan really killed the old lady.  Cool.  But they teased us with blood in her apartment, I am still pretty convinced it is not hers and she is still very alive.

 

Fear the Walking Dead:  So there was a big time jump where the baby we once knew is now a precocious little girl.  Gee, where have I seen this before?  But am I really supposed to believe that Morgan just gave up and did not even try to get

 

Saint X:  Much like Yellowjackets, the earlier timeline is more interesting, but the crazier the sister get, the more entertaining the present day timeline gets.  Hopefully she gets crazy enough to confront Gogo in the next episode.

 

Class of ’09:  Unlike Yellowjackets and Saint X, the earliest timeline is the least interesting part.  I could actually do without it completely.  I even kind of forgot if there was any ’09 timeline this week.  At least the other two are kind of tying into each other as we see why each are into the Minority Report type program.  But I do not get why they are doing a character of the week for a show that is an eight episode mini-series

 

The Challenge: World Championship:  So TJ said his final starts now at the end of the elimination and then they let everyone get a good night’s sleep right afterward.  Does that really count as TJ’s final?  But really just another run of the mill Challenge finale.    They really should switch things up.

 

Survivor:  What happened between Rotu and Sika that they will only vote for each other and just let Tika run the game.  This was the last time to do something about the trio, even if they forced a tie.  Letting Tika run this game already made this a bottom 5 season.  But it has been a while since there has been a above average season.  It is time for a hard reboot, and not one that involves more scavenger hunts.  

 

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies:  Wait, Susan had an abortion?  I remember they forked, but I missed that a doctor took care of it.  And when did Dot get interesting?  She seemed like such a background character all season.

 

Yellowjackets:  Well that is an interesting way to play Russian roulette.  I guess I should specify that I was referring to drawing the Queen of Hearts because Lottie wants to play in the current timeline.  At the time, I was wondering if there was any significant to Javi drawing the King, but I guess if they do not kill the Queen; the King is a worthy alternative.  So all that time, Javi never did tell anyone where he was.  It looks like he was about to tell Natalie, but then the wilderness took him.

 

But at least it looks like Coach Ben found where Javi’s hiding spot with plenty of tiny bones, so it looks like Akilah’s dead buddy’s family might be there too.  So we may be able to put two and two together on what Javi was doing when he was missing.  But the one big unanswered question is: who exactly is the person who told Javi he should not go back?  Was it Other Tai?  Could there be someone else down there?  We only have one more episode to learn the answer to or it might be a long wait with the writer’s strike.

 

So is this where the warring tribes are split?  Nat vs. Lottie?  Will Lottie’s crew take the cabin and Team Nat will be in the tree?  I am having trouble figuring out who would actually follow Nat.  It seems to be just Travis, Ben, and maybe Shauna and/or Tai.  I could see Misty playing both sides.  I wonder if we will get a hard split by the end of the season or will be have to wait until the next one.

 

Then in present day, all the secrets came out and Lottie’s big solution is to sacrifice one them to the Wilderness and everything will be alright again.  Ooof.  I am not entirely sure if everyone says no.  Well, maybe there will be a Javi situation and the Wilderness will take someone and those girls will get a reprieve like Nat did back in the nineties.  One of Lotttie’s purple people has to be disposable.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: May 14, 2023

 

Fatal Attraction:  Oh thank goodness, Lizzie Caplan killed the old lady (allegedly).  I thought she might have killed the dog.

 

The Blacklist:  I was befuddled when Red was still part of the task force assuming killing the one dude in a federal building without the FBI’s knowledge would be a step too far.  I guess it was as Red scrubbed himself from the record and did not show up to the meeting with the Committee Chair.  It just took a week longer than I expected.  But maybe the bigger news is that the new chick was adopted.  I have to assume this will somehow tie back to Red.  He cannot possibly be the father, van he?

 

Saint X:  My pick of the brunette chick got a good bump this week when she said she made a horrible mistake.  Though the preppy dude and the creepy pregnant couple were also implicated in that cold open.  Maybe everyone was there when she died. 

 

Class of ’09:  Well those first two episode were kind of a borefest.  Hopefully things pick up and soon.  Quantico was a pretty bad show, but at least it was not boring.

 

The Challenge: World Championship:  The show really needs to stop people like Tori and Kacee with their predetermined alliances on the show.  It makes it so boring to watch.   The veterans really ruined what could have been an entertaining season.  Those country specific shows were much more entertaining without them.

 

Survivor:  So are they not going to explain why the two chicks would rather the tribe breakdown to be 3-2-1 instead of 2-2-2.  That makes about as much sense as the guy with an Idol not playing it even though an Idol got played for the person he voted for.  What did he think would happen?  Clearly Tika was on to him so he basically had a one in four shot that the votes would come to him.  That may be a top ten dumbest play in the history of the show.  Almost as silly was the Tika saying they would be in the majority if the votes go their way.  It is still three-three and I believe they know that one of those three has an extra vote.  So they could easily get voted out with a three to four split.  Of course those two have to wise up and vote out a Tika next week and wise moves and been few and far in-between this season.  Thankfully only one episode left.  I am ready for this season to be over.

 

Titans:  That ending made no sense.  How did Superboy come back to life?  I knew he would, but at least put him under some yellow sun so it makes sense.  There are just too many of this inconsistency to name.  Good riddance to this poorly executed show.  It should have been much better.

 

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies:  I did not think I needed an episode dedicated to the T-Bird and after this episode, I gotta say, I was right.  Those kids have absolutely no charisma, especially compared to John Travolta.

 

Yellowjackets:  I was getting ready to write that this was the first episode where the modern day scenes were more interesting than the 90’s… and then Shauna had to go and punch Misty out of nowhere and just wailed on Lottie, so I think it may be a draw.  But still, I am disappointed that it took so long for all the girls to get to the cult (one of them noticeably said “we’re all here,” does that mean everyone else is a goner?).  The Misty tank may end up going down as the most entertaining scene of the series.

 

Speaking of the “we’re all here,” prior to that I believe Lottie mentioned that most everyone was there, but they hid the face to begin and for a second I thought maybe she was talking to Ben, whom Misty just talked off a cliff, before revealing it was her psychiatrist who turned out to not be there.  So it looks like my prediction that Ben kills himself is wrong… for now.  Though I did not see him in the brawl at the end.  What a weird scene, we all assume Ben is a goner, this seemed like a perfect time for him to go, his imaginary lover seemingly abandoned him, but in the end, Misty talking about there been too many deaths stopped him.  So is he actually going to survive?  I cannot image he will kill himself now, after being talked off the ledge.  Will they actually give him some sort of heroic death?  Coach Ben making it to season three may be the biggest shocker on the show, but almost seems likely now.

 

So much going on this episode which unfortunately means no time for Javi to explain what happened to him once again.  So one even mentioned that if javi could survive two months, Crystal could survive a couple days, no one in that moment thought to ask, yeah, Javi, how exactly did you survive in the freezing cold all alone for that month?  They really are going to drag this out all season, aren’t they?

 

Then we have to add the question of what happened to <strike>Crystal</strike>Kristen.  At least Javi is a healthy teenage boy even if dead-ass Jackie could not survive the same storm, <strike>Crystal</strike>Kristen was spitting up blood when given chest compressions, there is no way she could have gotten far.  Though maybe the question should not be did she move, but did someone move her?  I know I have been saying that this is a mystery box show and it would be silly to suggest that the same people that kept Javi alive for months saved <strike>Crystal</strike>Kristen, but I will put it out there just in case this does turn into a mystery box show.

 

With so much going on, it is almost easy to forget that the two remaining redshirts were the first to bring up cannibalism.  Kind of a big moment for two characters that have been so insignificant so far. 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: May 7, 2023

 

Fatal Attraction:  I have not seen the original movie, but my big prediction is that Lizzy Caplan is not dead.  The daughter ends up killing her in the future.

 

The Blacklist:  Oh, so Red is not the Big Bad, or least not yet.  I was shocked that the episode started with Red with Agnes in the dining room.  At least he is not the Big Bad… yet.

 

Saint X:  Oh joy, they added another timeline.  At least they did not have any young kid Gogo this week and the new timeline bleed into present day.  But at whvt point does Gogo start becoming suspicious of this white girl who just keeps showing up around her?

 

The Challenge: World Championship:  So did Darrell have to get one less piece and still lost?  Is he and Kiki just really bad swimmers.  The editing of that Challenge seemed weird.

 

Survivor:  Oh no, the one person that realized that Tiki was playing both sides got voted out.  Though Frannie may up being Tiki’s demise as Caroline seems like someone who will go scorched earth because they voted out her girl.  But then again she seemed like someone who would go scorched earth against Yam Yam when he went against her and started working with her again.

 

Titans:  So is Mother Mayhem actually dead-dead this time? 

 

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies:  What exactly are they doing with Hazel?  It is weird that she is the main focus occasionally but she is not with the cheerleaders or with the pink Ladies nor does it seem like either are even fighting over her.  Why is she on the show at all?

 

Yellowjackets:   Some of the best viewer theories about the show centered on Shauna’s wilderness baby.  I came up with one where Jackie kidnaps the baby and raises it in the wilderness and they were the ones sending the postcards.  When Jackie died, I swapped her out and put Lottie in that same theory.  I got a tingle that maybe I was right when Lottie said, “our baby.”  Of course then I remembered Lottie was rescued and went straight to a mental hospital.  I also then remembered what I wrote a couple weeks ago that none of the theories are going to be correct because this show is not a mystery box show, it is a show about trauma and of course what happened to the baby was not going to be some shocking reveal, but just the most tragic outcome: he dies in childbirth.  Sigh.

 

The other big news this week is for the first time, all six survivors (that we currently know about) we in the same place at the same time.  Misty in the cult did disappoint (holy brass knuckles).  Well maybe a little, I wish we would have gotten more time with her.  I wonder how much time we will get with them all there.  I really doubt Van is actually going to leave with the way she looked at Lottie.  But there is that pesky murder thing with Shauna that three of them covered up.

 

For me the weakest part of the first season was Shauna’s bored housewife routine.  But I have to say, after it turned out Jeff turned out to be a pretty good husband (aside from the whole blackmail thing) and we have gotten more Callie this season, it is slowly becoming the second best present day storyline after whatever Misty is doing.  Jeff listening to Fork the Police and Callie talking about the cop’s weird balls were the best part of this week.

 

One thing that stood out to me this week that I had not noticed previously (maybe this was the first time she wore it) was that Akilah was where a purple neck cover this week.  I wonder if that is some subtle nod that she will end up being team Lottie.  I tried to see if there was some color coordination going on, but other than a two people in red, I really could not see any division by wardrobe and Akilah was the only one I noticed wearing purple.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: April 30, 2023

 

The Blacklist:  So the Big Bad of the season for not the buddy of the lawyer, but Red himself.  Okay, that makes this season slightly more interesting.  Though I am not sure why exactly Red would go back on his lucrative deal with the government that took out his adversaries and made him a lot more money.

 

Saint X:  This was a slow to the series, but I do have some prediction: Obviously the natives did not kill the older sister, I am pretty sure it was one of the other ladies at the resort, either the pregnant lady who was mad her husband was eye forking her, or the other college age girl who seems annoyed that she is taking all the boy.  My other prediction is the younger sister and Gogo are definitely going to fork.

 

The Challenge: World Championship:  Why did they build this up to be some awesome challenge?  One of them ran for about five feet (I think one even lifted the cover before they put in the key, the hardest part of the challenge), then other person drove in a straight line.  I miss the days when they would melt ice with body heat.

 

Survivor:  So Franny was the only one smart enough to realize the loser alliance is playing both side.  Seemed pretty obvious to me when you know someone has an Idol and who they are going to play it for and not change your vote or inform the people you are voting for that is what the plan is.  Though the loser alliance did all vote for the big dude.  Wonder if anyone from the other tribe will pick up that they voted with them last week and against them this week when strategizing next week.

 

Titans:  So this ended up being the Titan’s world version of the Doom Patrol.  So where exactly were The Chief and Elasta-Girl?  They did not even get a mention.  Beast Boy even got that big reveal about The Chief last episode.  It was a shame they did not pull in more people into… wherever they were.  It would have been cool had Stargirl been hanging around all episode too.

 

Love and Death:  I did not think this story need two television shows devoted to it, so I skipped the Hulu version mostly because Elizabeth Olsen is a much better actress than Jessica Biel, but after watching the first three episodes of the HBO Max, I think maybe it did not even need one show devoted to it.  The nineties movie might have been enough.

 

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies:  I really hope this does not devolve into a Pretty Little Liars situation where the writers think a teacher statutory raping his student is some grand love story.  It is already creepy.  And if Jane is so worried about her reputation, maybe she should stop bouncing back between Buddy and the T-Bird.  But those old people are definitely going to get Hugo Chavez to switch some votes.