Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that started from this bayou port aboard this tiny ship. The guide was a mighty stupid man; the hero was sullen and depressed. Nine passengers set sail that night for a haunted bayou tour, for spirit and ghouls.
The weather started to rain, the tiny ship was stuck. If not for the courage of the hard to get chick the tourist would be sunk, the tourist would be gator food.
The passengers set ground on the shore of this deserted haunted house with the dude from Dodgeball, The Token Black Guy too, an old dude and his wife, the wannabe movie star the pornographer and the chick from Angel, here in the movie Hatchet.
Hatchet bills itself as “not a remake, it’s not a sequel, and it's not based on a Japanese one. Old school American horror.” The problem with old school American horror is that it was basically destroyed by the Scream franchise that let everyone in on the rules of the genre. But Hatchet doesn’t care if you know the rules, if fact you can pretty much guess the death order once the ship sets sail. It is more about the character that have no problem to crack one-liners even as some deformed dude bears down on them and killing them is some outrageous ways which are more Mortal Combat than Saw.
The movie has a horror pedigree having Freddy Krueger, Candyman, and Jason Voorhees (at least the dude who played him four of the eleven (?) times) all making appearances in the movie. The movie is far from perfect, you can’t help but think of Mask when you first see the killer and the ending is frustrating in a The Sopranos, did my power just go out, kind of way. But Hatchet is one of the more enjoyable horror movies of the past decade.
There has been no bigger surprise early in this year than learning the chick who sang Destiny by Zero 7 a few years back is white. Not only white but Australia. Seriously, who saw that coming? That aside, the girl in question Sia has managed to release three album on three separate record label (there were a bunch of EP’s mixed in between), the latest coming out on Starbuck’s Hear Music label. So if you are one of the pretentious types who patron the coffee house be prepared to listen to her ad nausea in the couple months.
From a look at the cover, you can easily assume that Some People Have Real Problems could be about the singer herself. And listening to some of the songs you will be even more convinced. Academia is a weird old to a English major written by a Mathlete that either is the dumbest song you ever heard or most clever depending on who you hung out with in high school. The eccentricities are only aided with the Beck appearance on the song. But you can best sum up Sia’s mental state with the lines, “I don’t wanna grow old. Bring me all the toys you can find” from Playground.
Some People Have Real Problems is a great fit for the Starbucks label just because the music is perfect background music for precious people who hang out in coffee shops all day; the songs are melodic enough to sooth your caffeine high but not noticeable to distract you from still trying to perfect that novel you have been working on half a decade. The only time Sia deviates is at the end of the album with the hidden track Buttons that sounds like a long lost eighties dance classic. And the creepy children’s choir is a nice touch at the end of Little Black Sandals where Sia tries to do for footwear what Rihanna did for rain gear.
It has become a tradition here at the 9th Green that each January’s lyrics quiz goes back a decade for the best songs from ten years ago. Keep in mind I made this list back at the end of 1998 just like my recent 100 Best Songs of 2007. I am a little worried about next year as I widely regard 1999 as the worst year for music ever and there are going to be some really bad songs I may be a little embarrassed about on that list. But you have a year to wait for that. As always you need to put both artist and title in the comments section (or you can e-mail me) and if you are correct I will un-bold it and give you credit. The Lyrics Quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please do not use anything besides your own meandering mind to help you up with the answers. Now onto the quiz:
Hints:
21. Fun fact: this artist started as a backup singer for Michael Jackson.
1. I don’t make films but if I did they’d have a samurai. (One Week - Barenaked Ladies; guessed by Angie)
2. It's silly when girls sell their souls because of sin. Look at where you be in, fake hair like Europeans. (Doo Wop (That Thing) - Lauryn Hill; guessed by Jo)
3. Now when I wrote graffiti my name was Slop. (Intergalatic - Beastie Boys; guessed by Jo)
4. I watched as sweat ran down your face. Reached up and caught it at your chin. Licked my fingertips. (Stay (Wasting Time) - Dave Matthews Band; guessed by Angie)
5. You’re here, there’s nothing I fear. (My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion; guessed by Angie)
6. Blue eyed boy meets a brown eyed girl. You can sew it up but can still see the tear. (Sweetest Thing - U2; guessed by Angie)
7. If my corpse can talk then I would tell you I was sorry. (Gone 'till November - Wyclef Jean; guessed by Slaygal1981)
8. Can I hit it in the morning without giving you half my dough? And even worse if I were broke would you want me? (Can I Get A... - Jay-Z; guessed by Slaygal1981)
9. Let’s get real, let’s get heavy ‘til the water breaks the levy. (Hootch - Everything; guessed by Angie)
10. I’m cold and I’m shamed lying naked on the floor. (Torn - Natalie Imbruglia; guessed by Angie)
11. I will build heaven and call this home ‘cause you’re all dead now. (Don't Drink the Water - Dave Matthews Band; guessed by Angie)
12. And everyone here’s to blame and everyone here gets caught up in the pleasures or the pain. (Back 2 Good - Matchbox Twenty; guessed by Angie)
13. Folk don’t even own themselves, paying mental rent to cooperate presidents. (He Got Game - Public Enemy; guessed by Slaygal1981)
14. I just bite it, it’s for the look, I don’t light it. (Gettin' Jiggy Wit It - Will Smith; guessed by abbyjesus1225)
15. Cards and phone calls and photograph, pictures of you. Constant reminders of things that you get used to. (Light in Your Eyes - Blessid Union of Souls; guessed by Slaygal1981)
16. Still have your picture in a frame. Still hear your footsteps down the hall. I swear I hear your voice, driving me insane. (Anytime - Bryan McKnight; guessed by Angie)
17. Whenever we kiss I get to feeling like this. I get to wishing there were two of you. (Can't Get Enough of You Baby - Smash Mouth; guessed by Angie)
18. As my soul slides down to die. How could I lose it, what did I try? Bit by bit I realized, he was here with me. (My Father's Eyes - Eric Clapton; guessed by Angie)
19. Blame us ‘cause we are who we are. Hate us ‘cause you’ll never get that far. And who'd suppose you would go? I've already learned enough to know. (At the Stars - Better than Ezra; guessed by Slaygal1981)
20. No matter how I think we grow you always seem to let me know it ain’t working. And when I try to walk away you’d hurt yourself to make me stay. (Ex-Factor - Lauryn Hill; guessed by Slaygal1981) 21. If anyone should know how to let it slip. Swear I can see you coming up the drive. And there ain’t nothing like regret to remind you you’re alive. 22. A woman is a woman and a man ain’t nothin’ but a man. (Jump, Jive, an' Wail - Brian Setzer Orchestra; guessed by Angie)
23. The shades and shadows undulate in my perception. My feelings swell and stretch I see from greater heights. I realize what I am now too smart to mention. (Never Is a Promise - Fiona Apple; guessed by Slaygal1981)
24. Don’t forget to give me back my black t-shirt. (Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds Five; guessed by Slaygal1981)
25. I wish you could swim like dolphins could swim. (Heroes - The Wallflowers; guessed by Slaygal1981)
Please, if you will, hop in the Scooter McGavin Time Machine (patent pending) all the way back to June 14, 2006 when right here on the 9th Green I wrote:
“If rap had a drug policy, Timbaland would be slapped with a 50 day suspension by now. Dude makes Big Head Barry look like Barry Bonds circa when I Got a Man was popular (Scooter’s Note: I had just made a Positive K reference earlier in the post).”
So it came to little surprise when I saw this headline today: 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Wyclef, Timbaland Reportedly Named in New York Steroids Probe. Okay, a little surprised; seriously, Mary J, Blige? No word yet if this will keep any of them out of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (not that any of them beside Blige has even the smallest chance of getting in). Also as head scratching was the inclusion of actor, writer, director Tyler Perry. Do you really need HGH to dress like an old black chick? Certainly the prosthetics that Eddie Murphy uses can’t cost much more than black market steroids.
What is disturbing about all this is that according to the Albany Times Union, many of the artists listed in the probe got their prescriptions were signed by South Florida osteopath Dr. Gary Brandwein who happened to also be the doctor who prescribed drugs to Chris Benoit and sadly we all know how that turned out. As of press time, only a spokesperson of Blige responded saying, “Mary J. Blige has never taken any performance-enhancing illegal steroids.”
I wonder if the others will pull out the old classics “I unknowingly took them” or “I was only given B-12 shots” or “I just took them once and didn’t like them” or my personal favorite, “I was going to try them until I saw the needles, I don’t do needles man.” Granted much like Big Head Barry’s ever growing head, the videos below featuring Timbaland and 50 Cent (who allegedly used the pseudonym Michael Jordan to obtain his HGH) pretty much speak for themselves:
Quote of the Week: Is that The Office? Have you ever seen it? It’s so good. Actually, I don’t know if you would really like it. It’s very talky. (Shelley, Friday Night Lights)
Big News of the Week: Networks Bringing Back Long Forgotten Reality Shows: This past week saw the return of American Gladiators and the strike may have giving a returning The Apprentice a stay of execution. But it looks like they will have company in the “wait, why are they bringing that back” category. ABC is resurrecting both The Mole, last seen in 2004, and The Bachelorette, not seen since 2005. And apparently there is something called MyNetwork TV that is resurrecting Paradise Hotel (2003) and Meet My Folks (2002). Granted if really were my network they would be bringing back Veronica Mars, Wonderfalls and Arrested Development. Or at least watchable reality shows like Project Greenlight or Rich Girls (remember the MTV show with Tommy Hilfiger’s daughter? No? Am I the only one who watched?). But even with all this crappy reality television hitting the airwaves, I still want the strike to continue indefinitely because once it ends, someone is going to write The A-Team: The Movie starring Ice Cube. I wish I were joking.
In scripted news, my sources (no seriously, I have sources) tell me that Battlestar Galactica will be returning April 4th with ten new episodes. In other Sci-Fi Channel news, a new season of Ghost Hunters returns March 5th at 9:00.
Coalition Links of the Week:
Buzz celebrated pop culture prom week. (BuzzSugar) Sandie interviewed April Matson, who plays Lori Trager on ABC Family's Kyle XY. (Daemon's TV) Liz finally got around to watching (and inevitably falling in love with) Dexter. (Glowy Box) Think your job is bad sometimes? Marcia listed the worst workplaces on television. (Pop Vultures) Four years, six months, and two days later Rae falls for One Tree Hill again. (RTVW) Vance preferred Cashmere Mafia over Lipstick Jungle but both are inferior replacements to the strike affected favorites currently ending by default. (Tapeworthy Jace's fiancee, the future Mrs. Televisionary, offers up reasons why Jace should XOXO Gossip Girl. (Televisionary) Dan's reflections on Project Runway include: Victorya is no Chloe and Kevin's ouster was unjust. (TiFaux) Jennifer was beyond "psyched" to chat with the boys of Psych. (Tube Talk) Kate calculated odds for who will be the next Bachelorette. (TV Filter) Daniel attended the Launch Party for Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and was thrilled to meet one of the stars from the show responsible for his unhealthy television addiction (theTVaddict)
New Hampshire Primaries: With the writer’s strike there really isn’t much to watch in primetime that all these debates and results. Granted there hasn’t been anything on network television on Tuesdays since Veronica Mars unceremoniously ended. But anyways. Tuesday’s results were a classic case of good new/bad new. The good being John McCain destroying Mitt Romney with Rudy Giuliani pulling in Ron Paul type numbers. The horribly bad was Hilary Clinton somehow managing to pull out a win.
How she won was the talk of all the pundits this week, more so on how the poll got it so wrong, they typically blamed those being polled on lying or pollsters leaving before the polls closed. But no one I have seen has pointed out the two most likely causes. First, polls are not perfect. Let me give you a little statistics lesson: when you see a poll that says it has a margin off error of ±5% that means that there is 90% chance that the true number is within five more or less than the percentage. That means there is a 10% chance that it isn’t. And it is not like New Hampshire is the first time exit polls have been proven wrong, anyone remember Florida 2000?
With that said, something seems extremely fishy, as much as I hate polls, I have never seen a 15% swing like we had this week and someone should be looking into the votes being rigged, a more likely result than the polls being this wrong. The mainstream media has completely dropped the ball on this one. Of course maybe the Clinton momentum will be slowed down after her statements about Martin Luther King Jr. this past week because they were racist simple and plain (mother (expletive deleted) her and John Wayne) and showed to the whole world that Hilary Clinton Doesn’t Care About Black Puppets.
Just some insight into the 57 Channels segments, I typically write my thoughts that night or the following day about the shows. The above was written Wednesday and then Friday saw this headline: Kucinich asks for New Hampshire recount. In the article resident nutjob Dennis Kucinich said there were significant differences in districts that hand counted, that favored Barack Obama, and the machine ones that went to Clinton. Not so coincidentally there have been recent reports on how easily the voting machines can be hacked into.
My Name Is Earl: Nothing like a Christmas episode in January. Seriously, NBC couldn’t cram this in last year but replacing a The Office repeat? But anyways. It is nice to see evil Earl every once in a while. But I really hope the chick from Who’s the Boss doesn’t stick around too long. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.
Republican South Carolina Debates: Wow that was boring. It is getting to the point that I know exactly how a candidate will answer once I heard the questions because they just keep on repeating the same thing. I think for the next couple debates I am going to start a new drinking game, whenever a Republican mentions Regan or a Democrat mentions change, take a shot. Take a double whenever Giuliani mentions 9/11 or Clinton says something racist.
Friday Night Lights: An odd week this week. The main storyline of the sister in law imposing seemed to be off. She was asked to move in to help with Gracie and the last two weeks they tried to portray her as someone who just showed up looking for a place to stay for a couple weeks. The Smash and the recruiters came back out of the blue after not talking about it for a while. And I have to cringe whenever they even hint at the meth dude. It was also interesting that Landry’s dad got more screen time than Landry got. And when did he become so tight with Buddy that they are sitting next to each other at the game? Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.
For the observant people, you may have notice the ad on the sidbar offering free Lost recap and preview videos through iTunes. For those that missed it, click the banner below to get your free videos:
Promo of the Week: Ask a regular person on the street how many Bring it On movies there are and I doubt you will find many who will say more than one. Yet the frachinse is on its fourth already. They lucked out on three by having the cheerleader from Heroes in what I think was the last film she filmed before landing the role of Claire. No such luck in the latest instalment as the closest thing to a star is the sister of one of the chicks from High School Musical. For those that are interesting of watching all four movies in a row, ABC Family is having a Bring it On a Thon next Sunday, January 20th capping off at 8:00 the most recent one Bring it On: In it to Win It. Here’s a promo:
Next Week’s Pick: Kyle XY, Monday at 8:00 on ABC Family: You can read my thoughts on the episode here: Previewing Kyle XY and of course you still have a couple days to enter the Contest to Win Kyle XY Season 1 DVD.
Remember all the blackploitation films from the seventies? The white movie executives figured if they put black people in lead roles that they could get them out to see movies. The films were extremely low budget and since the were written, directed and produced by old white dude, the films were racist, simple and plain to the point where I did a dissertation in college about racism in pop culture and featured clips of Shaft (if you want to see something really offensive, go to you library and hunt down old Bugs Bunny cartoons from the twenties and thirties, seriously, when I showed those to the class, everyone’s jaw was on the floor).
Fast forward three decades and now there is the CodeBlack Entertainment which is also making movies targeting the hip-hop generation, but this time around the movies are being written, directed and produced by people of color. Of course if you are not a BET regular viewer (I’ve stopped watching ever since they stopped airing 227 reruns) it is doubtful you have heard any of their movies. If you happened upon the channel last Halloween you may have seen the production company’s horror film, Somebody Help Me.
The story follows two friends, Omari Grandberry (whom you may or may not know better as Omarion) and Marques Houston (Sister, Sister) who take their girlfriends up to one of their uncle’s cabin (pay attention to the uncle’s name, I had to rewind to see if I heard what I really heard) to celebrate the twenty-first birthday of Brooklyn Sudano (My Wife and Kids). Of course things go wrong when their friends venture out of the cabin to have sex (which we don’t get to see, why have a horror movie complete with gore and F-bombs but no gratitutous nudity?) but don’t return in the morning, then one by one all of the friends are gone.
Somebody Help Me mixes three horror sub-genres as suspense, torture porn, and the more classic approach. The problem is they don’t go all the way on any of them. The torture porn doesn’t go far enough to satisfy the Hostel fans, the suspense rarely holds up because it isn’t hard to see what is coming and it doesn’t help that the friends just disappear, we don’t see anyone actually get kidnapped until late in the way too long (100 minutes) film.
The movie is at its best when they go into classic horror movie with heroes that continually make stupid choices like when they drop the shotgun they are carrying for no apparent reason. Or the inept police station where they are not allowed to talk about something mysterious that happened in the past. Then there is the bizarre appearance of a creepy young white girl (although not The Ring creepy) who for some reason only shows up every half an hour.
The movie really is only for horror addicts who need a fix until the next Saw comes out or Omarion and Houston fanatic who needs to pick up everything they do. But really Somebody Help Me is about as good as you would expect from the writer, director and stars that brought us You Got Served.
Last we saw of Kyle and the crew back in September, Jessi had just taken all the information in Kyle’s head and promptly jumped off a cliff, we learned Adam Baylin is still alive, the Tragers started to piece together all the weird things Kyle has done, and Amanda was getting ready to go to a music program. Of course if you want to review the whole last episode that aired, you can download Leap of Faith for free on iTunes. And of course if you want to review the whole first season, check out my Kyle XY DVD Giveaway. As for the second season, ABC Family is running a marathon this Monday.
And of course Monday also sees the midseason premiere of Kyle XY, To C.I.R. with Love. The episode opens right where they left of with Kyle looking over the cliff that Jessi just jump from. Did she survive the jump? Well you will have to watch, but you get a definitive answer about half way through the episode. Here are some other things you can expect on Monday:
Warning: Mild Spoilers Ahead
- Kyle fills in the gap to the Tragers of what is going on.
- Kyle goes after MadaCorp during their open house.
- As you can tell by the title of the episode, the C.I.R. machine makes an appearance.
- Lori decides to go after the first cute boy she sees.
- Andy makes an appearance.
- Josh gives us way too much information.
- There seems to be a new boss at MadaCorp.
- Somebody leaves town (but maybe not who you think).
- We learn the name of the girl in the picture at the diner (who looks like Jessi) and who took the picture.
End Spoilers
Below is a promo for the next episode and don’t forget to enter my Kyle XY Contest before it ends next Friday the 18th.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Hopefully this song isn’t a bad omen for 2008 because it really isn’t the best way to start of the New Year with the mannequin that Ashlee Simpson has become. But then again, I cannot imagine how anyone could make a song worth than this aside from Ashlee herself. It just shows you how messed up the music business is when they are pushing a reputed lip-syncer down our throats again even after her last album bombed as bad as her Saturday Night Live performance. As for the video, if I were Salvator Dail, I would sue.
Now onto some actual good music. This song appeared on Kanye West’s mixtape last year and even though it is doubtful we will get an actual album from CRS anytime soon, this Thom York sampled track definitely wets the palette and make me reminisce about the early nineties when there actual great rap crews, not just one decent rapper and his crappy friends that populate the rap landscape this decade.
Apparently January is the month where England exports all their lasses with attitude problems. Last years saw debut albums from Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen and this year’s version is Kate Nash. It is yet to be seen if by the end of 2008 she will be knocked up or in rehab, but unlike her countrymen, she like to tell it like is and in true fiery redhead style. But unlike Winehouse or Allen, Nash actually plays an instrument, the piano to be exact, which makes her sound more Regina Spektor than something produced by Mark Ronson.
Nash does follow the two songstresses’ career projectory so far being a huge hit in her native country, going three singles deep, before having even the slightest bit of name recognition in the states. That should all change with the American release of Made of Bricks. This will mostly be thanks to the first single Foundations, an ode to a broken relationship that Nash just can’t let go of even though he calls her rude names in a crowded restaurants where she responds that she would rather hook up with his mates.
Unlike her counterparts, Nash actually sings about the brighter side of love on Pumpkin Soup where she repeats to a potential beau that “I just want your kiss boy.” The track bounces along thanks to some well placed horns which makes it closest thing to a Ronson produced track on the album. Even though the piano is the main instrument on Made of Bricks, Nash pulls out an acoustic guitar to great effects for the beautifully tender Birds and the heartbreaking Nicest Thing. She goes even more stripped down for (Expletive Deleted)head which is pretty laughable in a good way.
Also different from her predecessors whose albums were full of listenable songs, Nash’s debut is a bit uneven as there are a couple of skipable songs, the opening Play is basically unnecessary and (Expletive Deleted) Song just goes one step too far. With that said Nash may not have the clever lyrics of Allen or the soulful voice of Winehouse, but the musicianship could make her a force in the future. Well that is if she can stay out of the tabloids.
Here we are a week into the New Year, but I want to take one last look at 2007 (for full Best and Worst of the year, be sure to click on the Best of 2007 label at the bottom of the post). First my annual list of artists that had the most impact on be over the past twelve months:
Top Artists of the Year
1. Lily Allen (Best Song: 1, 8, 12, 18, 66; Best Album: 3; Best Video: 5, 11, 15, 23; Best Performance: 25): Just to show how much impact Lily Allen had on me this year, in twelve years of making Best Songs of the Year list, no artist has had more than two songs in the top twenty let alone four. And it looks like many of you liked her too because as you can see below, her album review was the third most viewed post of the year.
2. Kanye West (Best Song: 3, 6, 53, 72, 87; Best Album: 5; Best Mash Up: 21; Best Video: 1, 4, 18; Reader’s Poll: 2; Best Performance: 15): Even though not nearly as good as his first two albums, Graduation still ranks in the top ten best rap albums this decade. And no other artist had a better viral year thanks to his internet only videos for Can’t Tell Me Nothin’ and his remix for Throw Some D’s.
3. Amy Winehouse (Best Song: 4, 29, 50, 92; Best Album: 6; Best Mash Up: 9; Reader’s Poll: 3; Best Performance: 23): Yeah she went neck and neck with Britney Spears for most clinically insane celebrity of the year, but unlike Spears, Winhouse managed to put out a great album this year.
4. Alicia Keys (Best Song: 10, 24; Best Album: 1; Best Mash Up: 15; Best Live Performance: 1, 9, 14, 20): As I Am may not lived up to expectations, but it was good enough to land her the best album of the year. Also she ripped off some great performances to promote it.
5. Ryan Adams (Best Song: 5, 21, 42, 90; Best Album: 4; Best Video: 10): A year and a half was the longest hiatus of his career and the extra time paid off with East Tiger being his best album in a while. Of course then Adams promptly released an EP not that long after. We will have to wait to see if he goes back to three albums in 2008.
Next some self congratulatory some with the most read posts and such here on the 9th Green. I was going to have the most popular searches, but nine of the top ten were some sore of play on “Best Songs of 2006” with the only other being Megan Hauserman in the nine spot, so that seemed silly to post. But here are the other best of the best. First a note between Most Read Feeds and Most Viewed Posts, the Feeds are based on who is accessing my feed, most likely through a feed reader (but some pirated) where Posts are people who actually came to the 9th Green, and if there are on the top, it is most likely because of Google.
Lastly, for those interested in the Best Songs of 2007 (click here to download the songs) to fit on a single CD, here would be the tracklist which would come in at 78:18 (note: the songs are in reverse order as if counting down the tracks).
1. Everybody Knows - Ryan Adams 2. Dumb it Down - Lupe Fiasco 3. Love Song - Sara Bareilles 4. LDN - Lily Allen 5. Look After You - The Fray 6. Brianstorm - Arctic Monkeys 7. The Game - Common 8. The Underdog - Spoon 9. Our Song - Taylor Swift 10. Alfie - Lily Allen 11. Radio Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen 12. No One - Alicia Keys 13. Read My Mind - The Killers 14. Oh My God - Mark Ronson featuring Lily Allen 15. Tennessee - The Wreckers 16. Stronger - Kanye West 17. Two - Ryan Adams 18. Rehab - Amy Winehouse 19. Can’t Tell Me Nothing - Kanye West 20. Dreaming with a Broken Heart - John Mayer 21. Drivin’ Me Wild - Common featuring Lily Allen
Scooter Note: This contest is over. Congratulations to Doug from New Jersey. Be sure to check back later for other contests.
For those that may not have gotten all they wanted for Christmas, I have one more present to give away that may make things better. In honor of the return of Kyle XY a week from today, Monday, January 14, 2008 at 8/7c (which is preceded by an all day marathon), I have a prize package to away that includes (for an idea of feautures such as bonus features and track lists, or just want to buy now click the links):
This is a perfect post Christma gift for any Kyle XY fan or any TV fan that needs something new to watch to get through the writer’s strike. Now you know what you will be getting, here are the two ways you can enter (you can enter two times, once each way):
1. We are a week or so into the New Year, what is your resolution for 2008?
2. Mention and link this contest on a blog or message board. (Any link must be posted at least 48 hours before the conclusion of the contest and only one link per message board or blog; feel free to use the badge to the right).
You can e-mail your entries to ScooterKSU(at)aol(dot)com (subject: Kyle XY). If you link the contest, make sure you let me know you did in your e-mail where so you get credited with an entry. You may enter the contest twice (once each way). The contest ends Friday, January 18 at 11:59 PM EST. The winner will be picked at random from all eligible entries and will be contacted shortly after. Also this contest is only open to people with shipping addresses in the Untied States.
Enough with the legal mumbo jumbo, I have actually seen the midseason premiere which I will be writing about in the next couple days. For those that want to go back and rewatch the last episode before the show comes back, as I write this you can download Leap of Faith for free on iTunes if you do not want to wait for the marathon to watch it. Also below is a preview trailer and some cast stills or you can just head over to the official site. You can also check out my Preview of the midseason premiere.
Quote of the Week: If you ever look at her, even tonight again, at school, anytime, I swear to God I’ll end you. Are we cool? No, seriously, that way. (Riggins, Friday Night Lights)
Song of the Week: Short Skirt/Long Jacket - Cake (Waitress, since the lack of actual television, I had to go with a movie I watched this week. I may not getting around to a full review, but if you want to be gruntle, you should definitely hunt down this movie)
Big News of the Week: Scooter McGavin Endorses Joe Biden Who Promptly Drops Out: Yeah, that didn’t work out well. So I guess I need another Democrat to back. I think I’ll go with John Edwards if only because his daughter Cate (click to check out her blog) is what I like to refer to as moderately attractive. Speaking of potential first daughters who I would like to salute, John McCain’s daughter Meghan (seriously, do you have to be a bad spell you’re kids weird to run for president) started up her own YouTube account, here is one of her vlogs:
Tapeworthy: It's the new year and everybody seems to have a best of list and Vance LIVES to make Best of Lists as if they actually mattered. So here are his picks for the Best Movies, Best Music and Best Television of 2007! Happy New Year!
The TV Addict: Picked his favorite shows of 2007. Made some outlandish predictions for 2008 and started the craze that's sweeping the nation: TV Addicts Anonymous. Only together we can survive the WGA Strike!
Sunday Night Football: It is already cheap when you pull your starters like the Indianapolis Colts did in the last game of the season, but it is done right immoral to just lay down like Kerry Collins said Tony Dungy did against the Tennessee Titians when he conceded to Jeff Fisher. If Bill Belichicken gets a fine and loses draft picks for cheating, so should Dungy in this blatant example of collusion. In fact Peyton Manning and all the other Colts that sat should have to give up one game’s salary and have it divvied up everyone in the stands who actually paid for what ended up being a glorified exhibition game with a bunch a scrubs playing the game.
Adding insult to injury, the Cleveland Browns lost a playoff spot due to a tiebreaker to the Titans even though they barely even beat what boils down to a replacement team. What makes thing worse is that this shouldn’t have even been a tiebreaking situation because the Browns got jobbed twice this season with the cheap time out call at the end of the Oakland Raiders game and the Arizona Cardinal game was decided by the only person on God’s green Earth who didn’t think Kellen Winslow Jr. wasn’t pushed out of bounds.
Friday Night Lights: I don’t think it is a coincidence that the best episode of the season came after the finally wrapped up the Landry murder plot line. So much to enjoy this week: Riggins fixing the cable to get porn, attacking the dude who urinated in his locker, Aunt Shells lusting over him, the cheesy 80’s Garrity family montage, Buddy and Coach at the Laundromat, Landry starting a brawl, Tyra pulling Richard Simmons by the hair, her dress at the formal, drunk Julie, ping-pong, Coach threatening Other Coach. The only misstep was Landry’s speech at formal which was basically the exact same speech he gave to Tyra at the Roast last season. But seriously, can they work out some deal like Worldwide Pants to get the Friday Night Lights writer their own deal so they can get back to work? Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.
New Hampshire Debates: I’m not sure if this was the best or worst debate ever. It was good because Charlie Rose just let the candidates talk over each other and it almost seemed like Rose wanted to debate more than be an actual moderator. It was bad because I don’t think it really accomplished anything although the candidate’s postures were telling. Mitt Romney looked beaten down, John McCain’s reaction shots were hilarious especially whenever nut job Ron Paul was allowed to talk, and Chelsea Clinton looked about as bored as I did whenever Hilary started to talk. As for winner, on the Republican side I’d go with Fred Thomson if only because he looked alive for the first time in his campaign and on the Democrat side, I’d like to say Bill Richardson won, but I fear if nominated they might bring Horatio Sanz to Saturday Night Live, so I’ll say John Edwards won. Don’t forget to check out who I, Scooter McGavin, Endorsed earlier this week.
This week I uploaded all of my pictures from my set visit to Veronica Mars to my Facebook and MySpace accounts, so if you want to see them you will have to befriend me. Also don’t forget to check out my preview of When Weather Changed History. And don’t forget to check out tomorrow when I announce a big contest.
I would also point out the Blogger recently allowed Open ID commenting so now if you have an AOL/Aim, LiveJournal, TypeKey, Wordpress or any other Open ID account, you can now comment using those. So feel free to give it a test run if you have one and would like to comment on the 9th Green.
Promo of the Week: Not only did Biden drop out of the presidential race right after I endorsed him, I didn’t come across this campaign ad until after I mad my endorsement which may have changes who got mine:
Now there is a Bubba I could vote for.
Next Week’s Pick: My Name Is Earl, Thursday at 8:00 on NBC: Earl and the gang returns for the first episode of 2008 and possibly the last one we will see for awhile as it was the last episode they filmed before they ran out of scripts due to the writers strike.
Near the end of last year VH1 unveiled their 100 Greatest Songs of the 90’s which I have still haven’t seen all of it yet because I know I would spend too much complaining what did and did not make the list. Right around the time that I aired, a song from that decade popped up on random on my iPod that made stop and go, “wow that was a great song.” Now I’m not sure if Summertime by The Sundays made VH1’s list, in the parts I’ve seen it wasn’t, but it definitely should have.
If you are currently in a winter doldrums, this is definitely the song to lift you up, but be warned you may find yourself singing, “And its you and me in the summertime, walking hand in hand down in the park” which may garner some weird looks by passerby’s when there is white stuff on the ground as the song is a less cheesy version of Walking on Sunshine. But no matter what time of year, Summertime is certainly worth a listen.
And a note to all the female karaoker out there, singing with your hands behind your back like in the video below is uber-cute. Although for the dudes, if you try this, you will end up looking like a tool like Liam Gallagher.
Sometimes it is odd to see an artist destined for greatness just fall completely off the Earth. Lauryn Hill ruled the world with a streak from 1996 to 1998 from singing hook for Nas to The Score, the breakout Fugees album, to her one smash debut album. But ever since the landmark album, Hill sightings have been almost akin to far and few in-between from her Unplugged 2.0 album to a duet with Method Man to the disastrous Fugees reunion to a song on the penguin surfing movie Surf's Up of all things. The closest she has come to getting back into popular culture was when Kanye West used an interpolation from her song Mystery of Iniquity for his song All Falls Down (to which she refused permission for the sample leading to Syleena Johnson to sing the hook).
But being a two time one-album wonder with her group and on her own is a novelty in itself. Not that The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill is a novelty in terms of the music making it this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame. Many artist before and Hill and after have tried to combine the hip-hop beats with R&B songs but no one has come close to doing it as good as Hill. This is best exemplified on Doo Wop (That Thing) where she brings the horns and piano heavy sound from the Stax era and harmonizes with herself with the raps going to town and guys and girls with alternative motives when it come to the other sex. This is only heightened by the brilliant seamless spit screen video.
The album starts off with Lauryn calling out someone on Lost One (Wyclef maybe, “I was on the humble, you was on every station”) with a hip-hop meets reggae vibe. She flips it on Everything Is Everything with the same bounce using an orchestra to fulfill a beat which also featured a then unknown John Legend on the piano. Ex-Factor is a heart wrenching balled that put her up their as one of the best vocalist of the era. And it is when Lauryn slows it down and goes into full R&B mode where she truly shines also her on the D’Angelo duet Nothing Even Matters as well as the Carlos Santana assisted tribute to her son, To Zion.
It is also a sign of a great album when the hidden tracks are better than most artists’ singles. Lauryn take on the old Frankie Valli hit, Can’t Take My Eyes off You from the otherwise forgettable movie Conspiracy Theory may be the best take on the song. Then there is Tell Him should be in the running as most romantic song of the nineties and should be required for any baby-making mix tape for a long time coming. Who know if we will ever get another record from Lauryn Hill, it look even less likely with Wyclef recently blaming the Fugee failed reunion on her calling her bipolar and begging her mother to get her mental help, but at least she had her act together to draw out her Miseducation.
, The Token Black Guy
too, an old dude and his wife, the wannabe movie star the pornographer and the chick from Angel
, here in the movie Hatchet.
, Candyman
, and Jason Voorhees
(at least the dude who played him four of the eleven (?) times) all making appearances in the movie. The movie is far from perfect, you can’t help but think of Mask
when you first see the killer and the ending is frustrating in a The Sopranos
, did my power just go out, kind of way. But Hatchet is one of the more enjoyable horror movies of the past decade.![Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhebDZ0qqwOVKMZj7oFSUe8Hm3ax54U9Hp1fThJPgiddTyzcdwx_5SV6E3b7hkKyxbaDiym4COmUXT2YJnsKCUjBHI_a2xZtNoY7qFQRslP5AGO5gLkJwn2ZbO0wIF80ycbKrgPPA/s400/small_high.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
![Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-iVFV0hXCTSYP16K_V0Rrxp3GqFrtBIJKeTUyQ2LpxZQ9XKHFj6QGtqqa7oxhLadLV8vUj8R84AftD8IKUSfN0u_u0CYDtJwhrpCPN2DBWquAIDv0jbVlhZL0mDFKlPKluGyxw/s400/small_elevated.png)
on my 
, 
and 
. Or at least watchable reality shows like 
or Rich Girls (remember the MTV show with Tommy Hilfiger’s daughter? No? Am I the only one who watched?). But even with all this crappy reality television hitting the airwaves, I still want the strike to continue indefinitely because once it ends, someone is going to write The A-Team: The Movie starring Ice Cube. I wish I were joking.
will be returning April 4th with ten new episodes. In other Sci-Fi Channel news, a new season of 
returns March 5th at 9:00.
(if you want to see something really offensive, go to you library and hunt down old Bugs Bunny cartoons from the twenties and thirties, seriously, when I showed those to the class, everyone’s jaw was on the floor). 
reruns) it is doubtful you have heard any of their movies. If you happened upon the channel last Halloween you may have seen the production company’s horror film, Somebody Help Me.
fans, the suspense rarely holds up because it isn’t hard to see what is coming and it doesn’t help that the friends just disappear, we don’t see anyone actually get kidnapped until late in the way too long (100 minutes) film.
creepy) who for some reason only shows up every half an hour.
comes out or Omarion and Houston fanatic who needs to pick up everything they do. But really Somebody Help Me is about as good as you would expect from the writer, director and stars that brought us 
.![Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCbHfExiuXqojow1zxkBUX6j-9BHg9IyrfzqR77jnja2Xq6dbv-7iiqMFzp_UKXGcUF9FyAHqCkNxa5uitXa5Xu2Q1OboN9-TLjsaeI1a2eoGLORU4vkTQ54l1C-_cZyn81QHyQ/s400/small_guarded.png)
on my 
1. We are a week or so into the New Year, what is your resolution for 2008?
, since the lack of actual television, I had to go with a movie I watched this week. I may not getting around to a full review, but if you want to be gruntle, you should definitely hunt down this movie)
of all things. The closest she has come to getting back into popular culture was when Kanye West used an interpolation from her song Mystery of Iniquity for his song 
may be the best take on the song. Then there is Tell Him should be in the running as most romantic song of the nineties and should be required for any baby-making mix tape for a long time coming. Who know if we will ever get another record from Lauryn Hill, it look even less likely with Wyclef recently blaming the Fugee failed reunion on her calling her bipolar and begging her mother to get her mental help, but at least she had her act together to draw out her Miseducation.