Worst Songs of 2006

It’s no secret that the Top 40 radio is dieing off thanks to shrinking playlists and more specialized stations. So in honor of that I present to you the 40 Worst Songs of 2006. And you know you have compiled a list of some crappy songs when Kevin Federline doesn’t crack the Top 10. It’s disturbing how many of the “artist” on this list come from reality television (for those keeping track at home, fifteen songs were from reality stars which beats out songs that “feature” by one) showing that record executives are too lazy to find nor market good artists. And not surprisingly the same artists that topped the Worst Albums of the Year list do the same here taking up three of the worst three songs of the year. Download these songs from iTunes at your own risk and feel free to let me know what songs of the past year that you dislike in the comment section:


1. Nothing In This World - Paris Hilton
2. About Us - Brooke Hogan featuring Paul Wall
3. London Bridge - Fergie
4. Stars Are Blind - Paris Hilton
5. Wind it Up - Gwen Stefani
6. I'm N Luv (Wit a Stripper) - T-Pain featuring Mike Jones
7. My Love - Justin Timberlake featuring T.I.
8. I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! at the Disco
9. Fergalicious - Fergie
10. Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
11. U & Ur Hand - Pink
12. Show Stopper - Danity Kane
13. Lose Control - Kevin Federline
14. Lips of an Angel - Hinder
15. Come to Me - Diddy featuring Nicole Scherzinger
16. Do I Make You Proud - Taylor Hicks
17. Stupid Girl - Pink
18. The Real Thing - Bo Bice
19. Invisible - Ashlee Simpson
20. Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt
21. Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx featuring Mr. ColliPark & Ying Yang Twins
22. The Kill - 20 Seconds to Mars
23. Shoulder Lean - Young Dro featuring T.I.
24. Hood Boy - Fantasia featuring Big Boi
25. Control Myself - LL Cool J featuring Jennifer Lopez
26. Chain Hang Low - Jibbs
27. Let U Go - Ashley Parker Angel
28. It's Goin’ Down - Yung Joc featuring Nitti
29. Land of Confusion - Disturbed
30. Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It - Dem Franchize Boyz featuring Peenut & Charlay
31. SexyBack - Justin Timberlake featuring Timbaland
32. Maneater - Nelly Furtado
33. Hate Me - Blue October
34. What's Left of Me - Nick Lachey
35. I Belong to Me - Jessica Simpson
36. Sideline Ho - Monica
37. Unpredictable - Jamie Foxx featuring Ludacris
38. So Excited - Janet Jackson featuring Khia
39. Hanging On - Cheyenne Kimball
40. Buttons - Pussycat Dolls featuring Big Snoop Dogg

Worst Albums of 2006

Throughout the last twelve months I have reviewed over a hundred albums and sadly some of them were not exactly good thanks to record executives using non traditional ways to find new artist in recent years like reality shows. Plus they unwisely thought that just because an artist had a lot of friends on MySpace means that they can make good music. Now my list is only of albums that I reviewed since there way too many American Karaoke contestants that didn’t even win releasing albums and the My Chemical Romance album was so bad I couldn’t even make thought the whole album. So here’s the worst of the worst and if you are interested in reading my original review, click the link below the album, the album link goes to iTunes if you enjoy torture:

1. Paris - Paris Hilton
Since I'm Already Screwed, Here's a Message to You

2. Undiscovered - Brooke Hogan
Musings from the Back 9: VH1 Reality Albums Edition (third item)

3. The Dutchess - Fergie
Toss Up: Clay Aiken vs Fergie

4. Taylor Hicks - Taylor Hicks
I Got My Degree in Crying

5. I’m Not Dead - Pink
It's Hypocritical of You

6. Playing with Fire - Kevin Federline
I'm Kevin Federline, America's Most Hated

7. A Thousand Different Ways - Clay Aiken
Toss Up: Clay Aiken vs Fergie

8. FutureSex/LoveSounds - Justin Timberlake
Go 'Head Be Gone with It

9. Danity Kane - Danity Kane
Musings from the Back 9: Music Edition (second item)

10. What’s Left of Me - Nick Lachey
Musings from the Back 9: Music Edition (forth item)

11. Cassie - Cassie
It's Not that Deep

12. The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani
This Sounds like Disco Tetris

13. Press Play - Diddy
I'm from the Eighties NYC Five Percent of Culture

14. On an Island - David Gilmour
It's Just the Dice You Roll

15. The Day Has Come - Cheyenne Kimball
This Is Gonna Rock Until it Rolls

16. Blowin’ Up - Jamie Kennedy & Stu Stone
Goodnight Michelle

17. B’Day - Beyoncé
I Could Have Another You in a Moment

18. A Public Affair - Jessica Simpson
If You Want to Impress a Hick Then Make it Go Tick

19. In My Mind - Pharrell
I Know this Part Ain't Pretty but You Know I'll Be Busy

20. We Don’t Need to Whisper - Angels & Airwaves
Everyone Will Listen Even if it Hurts Sometimes

21. The Phoenix - Lyfe Jennings
Musings from the Back 9: Music Edition (third item)

22. Goodbye Alice in Wonderland - Jewel
I’m Embarrassed to Say the Rest Is Rock n Roll Cliché

23. The High Road - JoJo
Your Chance Has Come and Gone

24. Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose - Meat Loaf
There Were Moments of Gold and Flashes of Light

25. Release Therapy - Ludacris
Musings from the Back 9: Music Edition III (first item)

Best Free Songs of 2006

You can’t get better than free, right? That’s why every Tuesday the first thing I do is open up iTunes because ever week they have two or three free songs to download. Most of the songs are at most mediocre but everyone once in a while you can find a gem. In fact, the number one downloaded song of 2006 on iTunes, Bad Day by Daniel Powder, was a song you could have gotten free back in 2005 (same for number seven Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray). Now here are the best free songs that iTunes offered up this year but are still worth the .99 if you didn’t pick them up when they didn’t cost a thing. Of course if you don’t believe my judgment - you can click the link and it will open iTunes directly to the song and you can pull a Michael Scott and just play the 30 second sample over and over again.


1. Smile (Radio Edit) - Lily Allen
2. Dynomite (Going Postal) - Rhymefest
3. Steady, As She Goes (Acoustic Version) - The Raconteurs
4. Cash Machine - Hard-FI
5. Put Your Records On (Acoustic) - Corinne Bailey Rae
6. Mr. Sunshine - Lori McKenna
7. Mama’s Room - Under the Influence of Giants
8. Travelin’ Thru - Dolly Parton
9. Blush (Only You) - Plumb
10. How Many Times - Zack Hexum
11. Satisfied - Ashley Monroe
12. Ooh La La - Goldfrapp
13. Hell or High Water - Tinsley Ellis
14. New Shoes - Paolo Nutini
15. Grace (Album Version) - Phil Wickham
16. What’s the Use - Jamie Lidell
17. Ain’t No Reason - Brett Dennen
18. Suzie - Boy Kill Boy
19. Never Saw Blue (Full Length Drums Mix) - Hayley Westenra
20. Crowded (Radio Edit) - Jeannie Ortega featuring Papoose
21. Love Me like You - The Magic Numbers
22. Hide Away - Rock Kills Kid
23. Back Home to Me - Sophie Milman
24. Bad Things - Jace Everett
25. True Affection - The Blow

Winter Television Preview

Tomorrow I dive head deep into my year end festivities that will overflow into the new year (if you would like to partipate in the 9th Green Reader’s Poll then e-mail me you top ten favorite songs of the past year in order to ScooterKSU@aol.com) and so today I’d like to highlight some shows that will be airing early in the new year before I get bogged down in all things 2006.


Let’s Rob Mick Jagger
Number one on the list of shows that premiere next year is Knights of Prosperity, or as I like to call it Let’s Rob Mick Jagger. The show landed at number two on my preseason poll for fall shows before ABC unceremoniously pulled it for midseason. The show is from the guys behind Ed and stars Daniel Logue, better known as the cabbie from the early 90’s MTV ad campaign and follows him and his buddies around as they, well, try to rob Mick Jagger. The show debuts Wednesday January 3 at 9:00. Check out a music video from the show below.





I’m From Rolling Stone
For years it seems like reality shows on MTV have gotten trashier and trashier (see the evolution of The Real World to Laguna Beach to My Super Sweet 16) but here’s one I’m looking forward to and surprisingly it actually as something to do with music. It’s been a while since MTV had a show that had at least a little to do with music and no, getting a rapper to host a show about fixing up cars doesn’t count. The show follows six interns for the magazine around for a summer and at the end of it one gets a job with editor in the title. The show starts Sunday January 7 at 10:00 and you can check out a trailer below.




The White Rapper Show
This could be the greatest show in the history of VH1 or the biggest train wreck. But if we have learned anything from Flavor of Love those two are not necessarily exclusive. Yet again here’s a show on a music channel that actually has to do with music. Could this be a sign that both networks will be going back to their roots? Probably not. That may be for the best because this is the network that has The Pussycat Dolls at number #1 on the Top Forty Videos of 2006. No seriously. The show drops Monday January 8 at 10:30 (and this is VH1 so it will be repeated multiple time throughout the week so don’t worry about it conflicting with Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip). Here is the ad for the so with judges M.C. Search and Prince Paul.




Beauty and the Geek 3
This first season of Beauty and the Geek was up there with the greatest reality seasons of all time. The second season: not so much. Hopefully the show breaks the sophomore slump with the new crop of token hot chicks and loveable losers with the two hour premiere on Wednesday January 3 at 8:00. Yeah it conflicts with Let’s Rob Mick Jagger but this is why God gave us VCR’s (or TIVO’s for you pretentious types). The first clip (which is borderline not safe for work) is of Sanjay, who gets the moniker “Virgin” as he sells himself to the girls. The second features beauties Megan Hauserman “Playboy Model” and Cecille “Bikini Model” (which is moderately safe for work but will lower your IQ if watched). And before you ask, the Scooter in the cast is not me.

If You Asking Why Is Hip Hop Dead There’s a Pretty Good Chance You’re the Reason it Died

For old school hip hop fans we don’t need Nas to tell us that Hip Hop Is Dead as we have know for some time now that it was. For proof look no further than the recent Grammy nominations where there were no rappers represented in the big four categories (Album, Song, Record, New Artist). The big question is who killed it: Was it Eminem who made it socially acceptable for thirteen year old suburban white chicks to listen to the genre? Or Nelly who took a step further and recorded a song with the very un-hip *NSYNC (and later with Tim McGraw)? Maybe it was Nas himself who sampled In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida not once but twice recently here on the title track of Hip Hop Is Dead.

But throughout the album Nas doesn’t call out names of who is responsible, even on the track Who Killed It?, instead he throws a blanket of blame over the commercialization of the genre and even hints at his motivation during the title track when he raps, “Nas rap is compared to legitimized crap.” The rest of the album plays out like a eulogy even giving love to those who never got the commercial success, most notably on the James Brown sampling Where Are They Now?, unlike their excessive bling wearing modern day counterparts. This is even though they laid the foundation that enabled the current stars to gain an embarrassment of riches that they are more than happy to show off on Cribs.

On Got Ur Self a... off of Stillmatic, Nas started one verse by say “My first album had no famous guest appearances, the outcome, I’m crowned the best lyricist” which was more than you regular boisterous rapper claim as there was plenty of truth in that statement. In early stages of this album, Nas suggested that his next would be without any guest and would be solely produced by D.J. Premier of Gang Starr but Hip Hop Is Dead ended up with a few guest appearances along with plenty of big name producers. Premier is conspicuously absent which makes me wonder if that album was just put on the back burner.

What hurts Nas the most is when he when he brings in those guest because rarely do they usually pale in comparison to one of the best lyricist. This most evident with The Game on QB True G who spend most of his verse blowing smoke at Nas and Dr. Dre who produced the track. This is also evident on Play on Playa with Snoop Dogg, but the track itself is not up to par thanks to the blandest producer in recent memory, Scott Storch. Ironically Nas opens up the song by ripping on the Hilton sisters when it is Storch who we can thank for Paris’s train wreck of an album. Another producer who couldn’t provide Nas a decent beat was Chris Weber for Blunt Ashes. And yes, it’s that Chris Webber.

But after a few boring guest spots and a mediocre comeback album, Nas’s onetime nemesis and current boss at Def Jam, Jay-Z seems revitalized on Black Republican a song that samples Marcia Religiosa from Godfather III, by far his best effort since coming out of retirement. Kanye West produces and gives a verse on Still Dreaming though doesn’t live up to their collaboration on We Major form West’s latest album. West does a much better job with the other song he produces on the disk Let There Be Light but it is the unknown Tre Williams that steals the song with his soulful hook.

And even though I ripped on it in the intro, the will.i.am produced title track is a stand out track that uses more than the Iron Butterfly sample including the go to sample for old school cats, Apache by the Incredible Bongo Band as well show stopping ending with Nas rapping over a crowd shouting “Hip Hop.” But no high priced producer was need for the closer Hope where Nas goes acappella for most of the track. Although like with every Nas album not named Illmatic, this one is uneven at times, but as long as there are rappers like Nas and his ilk, there is still hope for a hip hop resurrection.

Song to Download - Let There Be Light

Hip Hop Is Dead gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

My Prize Was That I Fell in Love in this Game

Many disliked the whole separation by races on the latest installment of Survivor but my biggest complaint for Cook Islands was that they un-segregated too soon. But I wasn’t too surprised that they merged tribes when they did because five members are small to begin with and if you were to lose multiple challenges you would be down to three tribe members. In fact that may have happened if the Hispanics didn’t throw a challenge the Black may have lost the first two challenges. So if there was one thing from Survivor: Race Wars is that never trust Hispanics because they even turn on each other quickly.

With the Hispanics self destructing and the Blacks unable to perform well at challenges, the season quickly turned into a dog fight between the Asians and the Whities. Unfortunately us Whities got overzealous and made the worst mistake in the game by mutinying. All they had to do was be patient for the merge and since Adam Gentry and Parvati Shallow controlled the one team and Yul Kwon and Jonathan Penner the other, they could have easily gotten down to the final six with Yul and Becky (remember before the mutiny Ozzy Lusth was on the outskirt of his tribe and so they wouldn't have to worry about him in individual immunity).

But the best part of this season, and possibly of any season, was Billy Garcia confessing his love for Candice Woodcock before getting voted out. Why, oh why, couldn’t the producers stepped in at that tribal council and said they couldn’t vote Billy out because Billy hooking up with Candice would make great TV. After this I totally advocate that from each season on Jeff Probst should get one veto per season for this reason. Think back to previous season, there is always someone, being a wack job or token hot chick that gets voted off way too early and just ruins the season a little bit. Is anyone opposed to this idea?

In the end Yul win as the majority thought his Machiavellian planning was better than Ozzie’s superhuman feats at the challenges. But if merging the races too soon was the worst idea of the season, the three person final tribal was a close second. It was totally unnecessary as seen by Becky not even getting a mercy vote. And what had there been a tie, would they really have the tie breaker months after the final votes were cast? And one thing that backfired yet again was the immunity idol that was hidden on Exile Island was not played for the second time in the two seasons that it has been introduced. Granted none of this will keep we from watching Survivor: Fiji when it starts up next week even though Probst’s suggestion that the most shocking thing a Survivor has even done will happen in Fiji will live up to his hype.

Survivor: Cook Island gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

This installment hasn’t been announced for a release on DVD but hop over to Amazon to see the six of thirteen seasons of Survivor that are available. Or you can download the last five seasons, including Cook Islands on iTunes.

I've Got to Get to a Library... Fast!

When the reviews for The Da Vinci Code started coming in all the negativity towards the movie centered on the new haircut that Tom Hanks was sporting. You got to love journalist that a movie that threatens the foundation of one of the big three religions and they cared more about Hanks new flowing locks. Granted that movie was based on the Dan Brown novel that I didn’t read on account that, well, I don’t read. Although even if you didn’t read the book it was hard to avoid the controversy of the book that suggested that Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene which produced a kid and that a sect of the Catholic church has been trying to cover the bloodline up ever since by any means necessary.

That is where the movie starts off with a messenger of the church is going around killing the keepers of the truth. And dude’s creepy with the albino hair (although he’s not as pale as he should be if an albino) and inflicts torture on himself so he will suffer much like Jesus did. But for some reason he does the self-torture in the buff that leads to too much albino nudity than I ever need to see. His latest murder brings Hanks, a well known symbolist, to the crime scene to help decipher something (as well as being the patsy for the crime) as well as the victim’s granddaughter played by French actress Audrey Tautou.

And that is where the movie slows down to the pace of a sloth. Tautou is a bore and hadn’t yet mastered the English language. That is not that she doesn’t talk occasionally in her native tongue along with other characters which leads to way too many subtitles. Seriously, the reason why I watched the movie instead of reading the book was so I wouldn’t have to actually read. But anyways.

Aside from a decent car chase in the first act, the film gets much better with the introduction of Ian McKellen as an old colleague of Hanks and Holy Grail expert. It’s almost a different movie with him and the twists and turns begin, although the biggest twist is pretty apparent early in the movie which makes me wonder if the novel was that easy to figure out the ending. But nonetheless, had they started the movie with the introduction of McKellen, the movie as a whole would have been much more enjoyable and less frustrating.

The Da Vinci Code gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Lyrics Quiz: Best of 2006

This month’s lyrics quiz has been culled from some of my favorite lines uttered this year and even expanded to thirty songs this month so I didn’t have to scale it down any. This doesn’t though reflect my upcoming Best Songs of 2006 that will arrive just after Christmas because I really hate publications that do their year in review in late November or early December thus missing an entire month of the year. For my full list of upcoming festivities, click on the Holiday Schedule on my sidebar. As for the lyrics quiz, leave your guesses in the comment section, both song title and artist. If you are correct, I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Just a little hint, the lyrics are in chronological order from when they were released so for the first couple think January while the last couple will be more recent songs. And though I disapprove of using search engines to find the answers, I don’t mind if you look around my archives as some of the lyrics have been mentioned on the 9th Green before typically in album review (click on the Terror Alert Scale link in my sidebar for those). Now on to the lyrics:

Hints:
13. The fifth single off the album that landed at number 2 of my Best Albums of 2005 list. The song also features a rapper that I made fun of multiple times this year for appearing on a Brooke Hogan song.

1. Feel the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you. Only you can let it in. No one else can speak the words on your lips. (Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield; guessed by Dara)
2. You sing a sad song just to turn it around. You say you don’t know you tell me don’t lie. You work in a smile and go for a ride. (Bad Day - Daniel Powder; guessed by Dara)
3. I think I’ll start a new life. I think I’ll start it over where no one knows my name. Get out of California. Tired of the weather. I think I’ll get a lover and fly him out to Spain. (Boston - Augustana; guessed by Erica)
4. Gettin’ born in the state of Mississippi, papa was a copper and mama was a hippie. (Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers)
5. Where are you now? As I’m swimming through this stereo, I conduct a symphony of sound. (The Mixed Tape - Jack’s Mannequin; guessed by Russ)
6. Medals on a wooden mantle next to a handsome face that the president took for granted writing checks that others pay. (World Wide Suicide - Pearl Jam; guessed by Tiggerprr)
7. It’s alright, yeah I’ll be fine don't worry ‘bout this heart of mine. Just take your love and hit the road. (Leave the Pieces - The Wreckers; guessed by Tiggerprr)
8. Take on me (uh huh) you know inside you feel it right. Take me on; I could just die up in your arms tonight. (S.O.S. - Rihanna; guessed by Adilia)
9. I know you know I know so what's the point in being slow; let’s get the show on the road today. (Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson; guessed by Dara)
10. Who do you think you are? Ha, ha, ha, bless your soul. (Crazy - Gnarls Barkley; guessed by Dara)
11. Here face is the map of the world, is the map of the world. You can she she’s a beautiful girl, beautiful girl. (Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall; guessed by Dara)
12. It’s a sad, sad story when a mother will teach her daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger. And how in the world can the words that I said send somebody so over the edge? (Not Ready to Make Nice - Dixie Chicks; guessed by Dara)
13. My car’s like the movie, my car’s like the crib. Got more TV’s in here than where I live.
14. I go back like when Pac carried crates for Humpty Hump. I need a whole club dizzy. Why the CIA wanna watch us? Colombians and Haitians, I ain’t guilty, it's a musical transaction. (Hips Don't Lie - Shakira and Wyclef Jean; guessed by Erica)
15. I got a (expletive deleted) like a donkey, (expletive deleted) as a rock and a trigger finger itchier than chicken pox. (Rollin' with Saget - Jamie Kennedy & Stu Stone; guessed by Erica)
16. If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the “no’s” on their vacancy signs. (I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie; guessed by Zorak163)
17. You expect me to just let you hit it, but would you still respect me if you get it? (Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado and Timbaland; guessed by Erica)
18. Step one you say we need to talk. He walks; you say, “sit down it's just a talk.” (How to Save a Life - The Fray; guessed by Dara)
19. I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, but more than you’ll ever know. (When You Were Young - The Killers; guessed by Dara)
20. If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lay with me and just forget the world. (Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol; guessed by Dara)
21. Go tell that long tongue liar, go and tell that midnight rider; tell the rambler, the gambler, the back-biter. (God's Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash; guessed by Erica)
22. This is 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% consecrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain. (Remember the Name - Fort Minor; guesed by Doug)
23. Right now she’s probably up singing some white trash version of Shaniakaraoke. (Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood; guessed by Angie)
24. Couldn’t take the blame, sick with shame, must be exhausting to lose your own game. Selfishly hated no wonder you’re jaded, you can’t play the victim this time. (Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence; guessed by Erica)
25. MC Escher that's my favorite MC. Keep your 40 I'll just have an Earl Grey tea. My rims never spin to the contrary you’ll find they're quite stationary. (White and Nerdy - “Weird Al” Yankovic; guessed by Russ)
26. I was so lost back then but with a little help from my friends I found the light in the tunnel at the end. Now you call me up on the phone for a little whine and a moan it’s only because you’re feeling alone. (Smile - Lily Allen; guessed by Dara)
27. Now if we had the power to bring our neighbors home for war, they would never had missed Christmas, no more ribbons on their doors. (Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayer; guessed by Erica)
28. If I had just one more day I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away. Ooh, it’s dangerous, it's so out of line to try and turn back time. (Hurt - Christina Aguilera; guessed by Erica)
29. To the left, everything you own in the box to the left. You must not know ‘bout me. I can have another you in a minute, matter fact he'll be here in a minute. (Irreplaceable - Beyoncé; guessed by Erica)
30. I hear in my mind all these voices. I hear in my mind all these words. I hear in my mind all this music and it breaks my heart. (Fidelity - Regina Spektor; guessed by Dara)

So This Is Christmas

We have entered the best part of the holiday season. You most like finished your shopping about a week ago or won’t start for another week (I’m the latter) so this week is just sit back and enjoy the various parties. And best of all we are about a week out until the radio stations switch to the all Christmas music all the time format so this week you can still enjoy them when they occasionally come on. It’s surprising with her angelic voice Sarah McLachlan has yet to release a Christmas album until now with the recent release of Wintersong.

She doesn’t pull any punches and breaks out the big guns to open up the album by coving the John Lennon classic Happy Xmas (War Is Over) complete with children’s choir. (For a different version of the song check out the iTunes exclusive live version by The Fray.) And for anyone who caught McLachlan perform the song at the lighting of the Rockefeller tree did you find it interesting that they had her perform the song right after an interview with Billy Bush, George W’s nephew? But anyway.

Sarah doesn’t fall into the pitfall that some artists makes and only has one original song on the album, the title track. The album switches back and forth between secular (What Child Is This?) and non-secular (I’ll Be Home for Christmas) that should satisfy both the people that are in the pews every Sunday and those that only show up for Christmas and Easter. The album is highlighted by a moving version of Joni Mitchell’s River, not your traditional Christmas song, but it’s winter’s theme can hit close to anyone away from a loved one this holiday season.

If there were a negative remark about the album is that it didn’t include the great collaboration between Sarah and the Barenaked Ladies two years ago on God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. But one Lady did make an appearance as Jim Creeggan and his double bass shows up throughout the album giving the album a jazzier feel than Sarah’s other work. Adding to the jazziness is Diana Krall who adds some piano to Christmas Time Is Here, a song you may remember from A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Now it’s not really right to impose a Terror Alert tag to a Christmas album and nor really right to declare a Song to Download because you know most of the song already, but much like James Taylor last week one of Sarah McLaughlin’s Christmas songs is the Free Single of the Week. So if the banner at the bottom of the page still features her, you can click it ro open iTunes and pick up Silent Night for free.

We on Award Tour: 2006 Family Television Awards

Scooter’s Note: I wrote up the recap of the Family Television Awards last night but before I get to that I have a big announcement that I found out today: Veronica Mars is now available on iTunes. You can only download season three at the moment but you can buy the season pass for 34.99 and new episodes will automatically download the following day. So click the name and you will be taken to the Veronica Mars page in iTunes and even if you have seen all the episodes be sure to stop by and say how much you love the show and ask for the first two seasons. Now back to your regularly scheduled post.

Much like Pavlov’s Dog, last night I plopped down on my couch, turned on The CW for another round of witty banter of Veronica Mars. Only that witty banter was replace by cheesy award show banter of the Family Television Awards. Because what better time to show an award show for the family that after the kids should be in bed. The show was hosted by the dude from 7th Heaven and Haylie Duff, better known as Hilary’s sister. Actually she may be only known as Hilary’s sister. Oddly enough Veronica Mars, a show that has its fair share of rapes, murders, underage sex and drinking actually won an award. Here some other thought on the show (and please don’t ask why I continued to watch even after finding out there was no Veronica Mars):

- Jennifer Love Hewitt won for Best Actress for her work on Ghost Whisperer. No seriously she won an acting award.

- Howie Mandel wins for Best Realty/Game Show Host for Deal or No Deal and was actually funny during his acceptance speech. I remember my parents telling tales when I was younger saying he was funny at on time, but it was weird seeing it for my self.

- Everybody Hates Chris wins for Best Comedy. And really who wouldn’t want their kids to learn a new racial slur every episode (that’s why I watch). Sadly Chris Rock didn’t show up.

- Ugly Betty wins two awards; the show took home Best New Show while the ugly chick also won something I think it was the Best New Actress.

- Kristen Bell and Enrico Colantoni win for Best Parent/Kid Combo or something leading to the best part of the night where Colantoni takes off his jacket and drapes it on the stair for Kristen. Classy. And then during the acceptance speech Enrico reminds Kristen that he’s not her dad in real life. Good clean family fun.

- The guy who plays Monk wins Best Actor but is home sick. Judd Hirsh had some good laughs pointing out that the guy who plays the germ-a-phobe Monk was sick.

- High School Musical wins for Best Movie/Musical. I still have yet to see it for fear that Chris Hansen may show up if I do.

- Numbers wins for Best Drama. Never seen it.

- The Ron Clark Story wins for Best Movie/Drama and the award is appropriately picked up by Ron Clark. For those that missed it’s the real story of a teacher who leaves his cushy suburban teaching job to teach at a school in Harlem. The movie stared Chandler Bing (is it too soon to start calling him Matt Albi?).

- The show ends with Dancing with C-Listers wining Best Reality Show. Really chicks wearing next to nothing and prone to wardrobe malfunction while being groped by dudes is considered family friendly?


And for all you conspiracy theorists who think The CW is anti-Veronica Mars by pre-empting the show yesterday as well as next week for the Victoria Secrets Fashion Show keep in mind The CW may gave exchanged showing the awards if they gave an award to Veronica Mars even though, let’s face it, it’s not all that family friendly and my theory is a little bolstered by the facy the award they won was nowhere to be seen in the press release the family council sent out for the awards. Also there that breaking news with the show being one of only two shows from the network on iTunes. Personally I’m pretty confident on a fourth season.

I Got My Degree in Crying

Long time readers know my dislike of the national karaoke contest that is called American Idol. The show is usually loaded with singers who are not good enough to land a record contract without going on a reality show singing songs that are not all that good to begin with. And to back up my theory is that aside from original idol Kelly Clarkson none of the winners have really lived up to the moniker (granted Carrie Underwood found a niche fan base) when thirty million people watch the show yet they barely go platinum. But anyways.

The latest, and most surprising karaoke winner went to Taylor Hicks, a guy so old he actually older than me, and let be honest, if you are older than me, you by definition cannot be an idol. Even though I avoid the show like the plague, it’s very hard to avoid updates and people talking ad nausea about the show and whenever I saw Hicks was still in the running I would think to myself, Him? Seriously?” I always thought him staying in the competition was like back in high school where you vote the kid from the “special” classes to win the talent show just to make him feel good. But apparently a whole nation felt bad for him leading to the worst winning song in American Karaoke history, Do I Make You Proud? To answer the question, no. In fact “Weird Al” Yankovic asked a better question, Do I Creep You Out? And to that a resounding yes.

And so just like all the previous Karaoke winners, a rush was put on to get his debut album out before Christmas, and like previous albums, the rush shows. The album is chalk full of bland pop songs that aren’t helped by Hick’s who sounds like Michael McDonald if Michael McDonald actually sounded white. Just for good measure they even throw in the prerequisite Diane Warren song (Places I’ve Been). And if you think Hick pseudo-blue-eyed-soul is cheesy, wait until you hear him try to croon a balled. Also helping out Hicks is Rob Thomas (no not the guy behind Veronica Mars) who penned Dream Myself Awake, as well as an unreleased Bryan Adams tune, The Right Place. Hick even dusts off two songs he wrote for an earlier album (wait a minute, I thought American Karaoke was an amateur competition, how does he already have an album?).

One of the reason former contestant fail is most likely because your normal viewer much prefers their karaokers to sing other people’s songs instead of creating their own. Hicks alleviates that problem a little by adding a cover of Marvin Gaye’s Wherever I Lay My Hat (That’s My Home). And he also rips off samples Ray Charles What I’d Say on Heaven Knows. But when it comes down to it, the album is one of those after a half an hour you realize, “what that’s still on, I totally forgot I was listing to it,” the album is that boring. And being mediocre is actually worse that being bad. Say what you want about Paris Hilton (and I said a lot during her review: Since I'm Already Screwed Here's Message to You), but she managed to make the worst album of the year and there is something novel in that. Anyone can be mediocre like Hicks and the other Karaokers, but it takes a lot of talent (or in this case extreme lack of it) to be the worst of the worst.

Oh and if I were Snow Patrol, I’d look into copyright infringement for Hicks obsessive use of the similarly sounding silly catchphrase. Well maybe wait to see how the Mariah Carey/Mary Carey lawsuit turns our.

Song to Download - Dream Myself Awake

Taylor Hicks gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

When Was the Last Time You Were Truly Satisfied

It seems like every other week this past year I have reviewed the latest R&B album and decried how the songs have become overrun by hip-hop inspired beats and how the genre has transformed from great “baby making” music to “find a random drunk chick on Spring Break and do things that would embarrass your momma” music. When I talk about the good ol’ “baby making” era I usually bring up one of the last of its kind, Brian McKnight. Some may be surprised to know that McKnight has made three albums since Back at One including last year’s stellar Gemini. And now he’s back with his latest album, Ten.

Like previous album McKnight does most of the writing and producing on the album but did turn over four tracks to the production team Tim & Bob, the guys behind the Thong Song (no pun intended, okay maybe it was intended) to mixed results. On the opener Used to Be My Girl, the duo brings some soft Indian vibe over the silky track. But Unhappy without You just falls flat mostly because the amount the title is repeated throughout the song, yet not as annoying as the every other second repeat of the title’s name in What’s My Name. Bryan Michael Cox, fresh of his Grammy nomination for Be without You by Mary J. Blige, also contributes the decent track Comfortable.

But McKnight is best when he does it himself aside from the What’s My Name misstep. Find Myself in You is the definition of a “baby making” song straight from the Marvin Gaye era. McKnight even broadens his perspective on the album writing a country song Red, White, and Blue and even brings in Rascal Flatts to help him out on the heartbreaking song seen through the eyes of a military man. Before you scratch your head, there was a time where this wasn’t so uncommon and you could see Kenny Rogers on the R&B charts with Lionel Ritchie penned songs and Ray Charles even recorded a country album. But I don't think that it will come back in style anytime soon so don't hold your breath from a Ciara/Gretchen Wilson collaboration.

Song to Download - Find Myself in You

Ten gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.