The ESPY’s are quickly becoming even more entertaining than the MTV Awards season granted half of the readers here may not even know what they are, and that half most likely like dudes (ESPY’s are awards given out by ESPN, just don’t ask me what they stand for). This year, fresh off his retirement, Lance Armstrong host and it’s already been announced that a group of female Afghani women who set up soccer matches for the fairer sex will be receiving the Arthur Ashe Award, a segment that always ranks as the one of the most emotional moments of the year and enough reason to watch. Now, much like the Grammy’s, there are way too many categories to list here, plus I have no desire to pick who is the dude who can turn left for five hours the best, so check out all the nominees and vote on the ESPY’s page at ESPN.com and be sure to check out the awards July 16th. Now on to my predictions:
Best Male Athlete
Lance Armstrong (Cyclist)
Vince Young (University of Texas Football)
Shaun Alexander (Seattle Seahawks)
LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers)
Albert Pujols (St. Louis Cardnals)
Who Will Win: Lance Armstrong
Who I Voted For: Lance Armstrong
First off, where’s Dwayne Wade? How does LeBron get the nod over him? Really, this category is easy because you can eliminate the three people that didn’t win anything. Not that it really matters as Armstrong will run away with the award like he always does when Tiger Woods isn’t involved (and sometimes when he is).
Best Female Athlete
Annika Sorenstam (Golfer)
Hannah Teter (Snowboarder)
Sheryl Swoops (WNBA)
Melanie Troxel (Drag Racer)
Who Will Win: Annika Sorenstam
Who I Voted For: Hannah Teter
A pretty pathetic group her with two chicks who’s sports barley qualify as sports, but I gotta go with the gold winner.
Best Team
Maryland Lady Terrapins Basketball
Chicago White Sox
University of Texas Football
Pittsburg Steelers
Miami Heat
Who Will Win: Pittsburg Steelers
Who I Voted For: Miami Heat
The Steelers had a decent run, but being a Browns fan, I cannot vote for them ever, I’m going with the Heat instead because Shaq winning a title without Kobe, making him look even worse is a good thing and it makes up for Wade’s oversight for Best Male Athlete.
Best Coach/Manager
Ozzie Guillen (Chicago White Sox)
Bill Cowher (Pittsburg Steelers)
Billy Donavan (University of Florida Basketball)
Jim Larranaga (George Mason Basketball)
Pat Riley (Miami Heat)
Who Will Win: Bill Cowher
Who I Voted For: Jim Larranaga
Cowher’s is obviously out out, Donavan ruined my March Madness bracket, Riley didn’t even coach the whole season. So even though I fear Guillen will call me names if I don’t vote for him, I’m going with Larranaga because I gotta give a fellow Mid Major some love.
Best Game
Andre Agassi vs. James Blake (US Open)
Houston Astros vs. Atlanta Braves (Game 4 NLDS)
USC vs. Texas (National Championship)
Who Will Win: National Championship
Who I Voted For: Game 4 NLDS
This was easy for me as I not only watched just one of these games, I even blogged about it - The New Killer B(urke). Only the sixth walk off/series ending home run ever the cap off the longest postseason game ever. Much better than watching an overrated team get beat.
Best Championship Performance
Vince Young (University of Texas)
Venus Williams (Tennis)
Sam Hornish Jr. (Indycar Driver)
Dwayne Wade (Miami Heat)
Who Will Win: Vince Young
Who I Voted For: Dwayne Wade
Let me get this straight, the left turn only circuit has a championship? Wait, never mind, I don’t care. But here’s my argument for Wade, the Heat lost Game 3 getting ready for a sweep, but somehow was able to single handedly save the game and then made sure his team didn’t lose again in the series. Again, who was he not in the Best Male Athlete category?
Best Moment
Kobe Bryant - 81 Point Game
Dakoda Dowd - LPGA Attempt
Jason McElwain - Manager, Shooter
George Mason - Final Four Run
Who Will Win: Jason McEwain
Who I Voted For: Dakoda Dowd
Throw Bryant out right away and I already gave George Mason some love earlier, so for me this comes down to the two heart-tuggers. For those that don’t watch Sportcenter, here’s the lowdown on the other two; McElwain was an autistic manager for his high school basketball team. Then in the team’s last home game, the coach let him go in during some garbage time and hit six three-pointers, scoring twenty points in four minutes. Dowd on the other hand got a sponsor’s exemption to play in an LPGA tournament, giving her mother, who is dying from bone cancer, a chance to fulfill her dream of seeing her kid play in a pro event. Dowd almost made the cut going two over par even among the immense media presence at the event.
Best Play
Nathan Vasher - NFL’s Longest Play
Tyrone Prothro - Alabama’s Unbelievable Catch
David Wright - One Handed Catch
Aaron Rowand - Nose for the Team
Reggie Bush - Punt Return TD
Who Will Win: Reggie Bush
Who I Voted For: Aaron Rowand
As a defensive guy, I love seeing the Web Gems on Baseball Tonight and Rowand’s catch was one of the best. Keep in mind that the bases were loaded with two outs some if he doesn’t get that ball, that’s three runs that likely score.
Best Comeback
Teddy Bruschi (New England Patriots)
Ronnie Turiaf (Los Angeles Lakers)
James Blake (Tennis)
Who Will Win: Teddy Bruschi
Who I Voted For: James Black
Bruschi will most likely win in a landslide, but I was a little queasy of him coming back that soon from a stroke. Blake on the other hand came back from a fractured vertebrae, contracted a debilitating virus, all the while losing his father to cancer. After all that, he made it to the finals of a major.
Best Breakthrough Athlete
Kimmie Meissner (Figure Skating)
Shawn White (Snowboarder)
Chris Paul (New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets)
Alexander Ovechkin (Washington Capitols)
Who Will Win: Shawn White
Who I Voted For: Chris Paul
Meissner didn’t even medal in the Olympics, I already thought White broke out along time ago, but Paul was the best rookie in the NBA even though the team that drafted him didn’t even have a permanent place to play. You gotta have heart to play under those conditions.
Best Record-Breaking Performance
Ben Roethlisberger - Youngest QB to Win a Superbowl
Shaun Alexander - Most TD’s in a Season
Mike Metzger - Backflip over the Fountains at Caesars
Kalen Pimental - American LLWS Strikeout Record
Who Will Win: Shaun Alexander
Who I Voted For: Shaun Alexander
Being the youngest/oldest is a pretty cheap record especially at a team sport and what exactly was Metzger’s record? Since you can never be sure of a Little Leagers age, I’m going with Alexander.
Best College Male Athlete
Vince Young (University of Texas)
Reggie Bush (University of Southern Cal)
Matt Leinart (University of Southern Cal)
J.J. Redick (Duke University)
Adam Morrison (Gonzoga University)
Who Will Win: Vince Young
Who I Voted For: Adam Morrison
Both Redick and Bus are looking at violations against the law and NCAA rules repesctively. Leinart gets thrown out for the double no-no of hanging out with Nick Lashay and dating Paris Hilton. So Morrison edges out Young by a moustache.
Best Baseball Player
Albert Pujols (St. Louis Cardinals)
Chris Carpenter (St. Louis Cardinals)
Alex Rodriguez (New York Yankees)
David Ortiz (Boston Red Sox)
Who Will Win: Albert Pujols
Who I Voted For: Albert Pujols
Ortiz gets thrown out for only showing up four-five times a game, really how cheap is that? This should be a runaway for Pujols, but where is Johan Santana?
Best NBA Player
Kobe Bryant (Los Angles Lakers)
Steve Nash (Phoenix Suns)
LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers)
Dirk Nowitzki (Dallas Mavericks)
Dwayne Wade (Miami Heat)
Who Will Win: Dwayne Wade
Who I Voted For: Dwayne Wade
I think I’ve spent more time talking about basketball today then spent watching it the past year, so let’s move on.
Best NFL Player
Shaun Alexander (Seattle Seashawks)
Peyton Manning (Indianapolis Colts)
LaDainian Tomlinson (San Diego Chargers)
Steve Smith (Carolina Panthers)
Brian Urlacher (Chicago Bears)
Who Will Win: Shaun Alexander
Who I Voted For: Shaun Alexander
I’m beginning to think there are more ESPY awards than Grammy’s at this point, moving along:
Under Armour Undeniable Performance Award
A.J. Hawk (Ohio State)
Matt Leinart (University of Southern California)
Kobe Bryant (Los Angles Lakers)
Ryan Howard (Philadelphia Phillies)
Who Will Win: Kobe Bryant
Who I Voted For: Ryan Howard
WARNING: Blatant product placement. I have no idea what this award is supposed to represent, but I’ll go with Howard just because.
GMC Professional Grade Play Award
Doug Flutie (New England Patriots)
Candice Parker (University of Tennessee)
Antwaan Randle-El (Pittsburge Steelers)
Aaron Rowand (Philadelphia Phillies)
Who Will Win: Doug Flutie
Who I Voted For: Doug Flutie
So how exactly does this differ from Best Play (which Rowand is also nominated for)? Are these the ones that GMC executives hand picked? But anyways. I believe Flutie is here for the drop kick he had during his final season, so I’ll go with him.
Now I'm not entirely sure what catergory it should be nominated in, but this deserves a nomination for next year. My favorite part is when he brings out the water bottle. All tirades need props.
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