ESPY Awards were on last night although if you have visited ESPN.com lately, then you were bombarded with articles about the winners, best dressed and all that goes with the awards since the awards show was actually last week sometimes. I really hate that not only are they not live, but they let out all the secrets before it airs and for those of us that don’t want anything spoiled, we have to be very careful at what we look at. But anyways, here are my highlights from the festivities:
- In the opening “Images” montage it mentioned the major athletes that have retired this year including Emmett Smith. I seriously missed that announcement, I guess I never though that he would retire. I fully expected him to be the Ricky Henderson of football.
- Also in the opening montage was multiple Ron Artest sightings which made me wonder why they don’t have “Worst Sports Moment” award.
- Dwayne Wade wins the Breakthrough Athlete award. They might have as well given the award to Shaq, because without him in Miami, Wade is just another decent player with no personality. I’m sure if guys would have known what Maria Sharapova would have been wearing, the voting might have gone a different way. That dress catapulted her over Anna Kournikova in the hotness ranking.- It makes sense that Jessica Biel was a presenter at the ESPY’s because she is built like a linebacker.
- I have to admit I was totally conned by the Hoosiers 2 bit. I extremely mad when Amare Stoudemire and (um, was I supposed to know who the other dude was?) introduced the film. Luckily it was just a joke but I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a remake the way Hollywood is pumping out recycled ideas. (FYI – next up in the remake department, and sadly this isn’t a joke, LL Cool J in Fatal Attraction.)
- Nothing say “Know way I’m seeing this” like hearing a movie is starring Tyrese, the weird dude from OutKast, some random dude, and Marky Mark. But somehow this makes them eligible to be presenters. I haven’t looked, but I’d put sizeable money that their movie is being distributed by one of Disney subsidiaries. And if you are unaware, ESPN is one of them.
- It was funny during the Best Coach montage that all the coaches had elaborate plays filled with X’s and O’s to go along with their part and Terry Francona’s bit was just a steal. If any baseball manager wins this award, there is a serious problem.
- Natalie Coughlin was robbed as the Best Female Olympic Performance went to the USA Softball Team. It wasn’t the Best Females Olympic Performances, so a team shouldn’t even have been eligible. Shame on anyone who voted for them.- Maria Sharapova wins Best Female Tennis Player yet we don’t get to see her accept it as it was thrown in with the awards previously given out montage. Bad mistake as ESPN once again screwed its make demographic another shot of her in that dress.
- Holy Carly Patterson sighting! It might just been the camera angle, but it sure looked like she has packed on the pounds since last August. I guess that’s what happens when you are allowed to eat for the first time in your life. But she may want to slow down or she just might find herself on Celbrity Fit Club 3.- The Spelling Bee bit rivels anything Vince Vaugn has done on the MTV Movie Awards. “Spell Sharapova.” “Can you use it in a sentence?” “I would like to go on a date with Maria Sharapova.”
- Can some one tell how Wilmer Vanderama got so lucky? First he dates a barely legal Mandy Moore, then he lands the not so legal Lindsey Lohan before she got ugly, now he’s presenting with Maria Sharapova. And he’s not on an ABC show nor does he have a Disney venture to promote. I really need to find out how to become Ashton Kutcher’s sidekick.
- Next up is the best segment on any awards show, The Arthur Ashe Award, given this year to Jim McLaren, a Yale football star who was pronounced dead after being hit by a bus. But he recovered and set multiple records for a one legged athlete only to be hit by a van while riding a bike in a triathlon and was told by doctors he would not be able to feel or move anything below his head ever again. The awards was also givin to a man who was inspired by McLaren, Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah who was born without a bone in his leg in Ghana, a country where disabled children are routinely killed at birth. Yeboah went on to ride a bike across his home country, 370 miles, on a bike that was donated by a program that was inspired by McLaren. The highlight of the segment came when originally diagnosed paraplegic, McLaren, was seen wiping away his tears with his own hands while accepting the award in front of a stand ovation.
- There was a Monday Night Football reunion between Terrel Owens and Nicollette Sheridan. For those keeping track at home she joined Patrick Dempsey (Grey’s Anatomy), Michael Vartan (Alias
- Blake Hoffarber won the Best Play award. I don’t want to tell Mr. Slice I told you so (although just by typing it I think I just did. Sorry.)
- Friday Night Lights- It seems like The Rock will be soon dropped from his name as he is starting to be introduced as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Bad move as The Rock sound much cooler than Dwayne. Dwayne always conjures images of Dwayne Wayne and his flip glasses. This is a potential career killer. Granted this affect Wayne Wade marking ability much worse.
- The night closes with a perforce by Destiny’s Child with some weird Riverdance type chorography. This just may give us an insight in the post-Destiny’s Child careers on the two members of the group not named Beyoncé as they soon may be Michael Flattley’s sidekicks.
Final Scooter Talley:
Voted For: 6 for 17 (.353)
Predicted Correctly: 7 for 17 (.412)
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