If the MTV Unplugged series is the best music show devised for television, then VH1 Storytellers is a close second. But both have become sporadic at best with only Alicia Keys getting the Unplugged treatment recently and Storytellers only produced three shows last year and is airing the first one of this year tonight starring Pearl Jam. It should be interesting the stories the band tells after being in hibernation for about a decade, but at the very least the performances will be solid and hopefully top heavy of earlier albums.
In honor of their performance tonight, it seems apropos that I induct one of their albums into the Scooter Hall of Fame this month and for my money Vs. is the pinnacle of their career. Ten was a great debut, but was bogged down by the grunge sound at times while Vitology had some better songs, but it was also a decent into lunacy with songs like Bugs and the closing “song.” But it is Vs. where everything came together, expanding on the grunge sound, to make the best album of their career.
Vs. starts out with the one-two punch of Go and Animal, two songs that, if they can’t get your blood pumping, nothing will. But the band quickly showed their growth next with Daughter where they were able to slow things down without going into the power ballad cliché. The musicianship really shines through on the song and I love the ambiguity of the lyrics with the booklet saying the line in “violins (ence).” Granted intelligibility of Eddie Vedder doesn’t work because for a long time I thought he was saying “a glorified version of a pelican.”
Dissident features one of the best riffs the band has come up with making you wonder how the duel attack of Stone Gossard and Mike McCready are always absent from best guitarist list, but that may be the answer, that there is two of them. The band takes a complete left turn on W.M.A. with its percussion and bass heavy song about police brutality and still has yet come close to creating another song like it which is somewhat of a same. Rats may not have been the best song on the album, but you got to love the Michael Jackson shoutout at the end.
Near the end of the album are two of my favorite Pearl Jam songs starting with the pulsing Rearviewmirror. I remember after getting my license a few years later and I loved playing this song at night in the summer on a country road with the windows down as each passing headlight telling a different story as the song made a perfect soundtrack. There was just a sense of optimism to the song. On the other hand Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town took a much more subtle approach and after two albums filled with doom and gloom, the song was a refreshing breath of clarity and simplicity and could be my favorite Pearl Jam song not titled Betterman.
The album ends with the haunting Indifferent, yet another chance the band took and the line, “I’ll swallow poison until I grow immune” still sends a chill down my spine to this day. The diversity and the and all the successful risks the band took on Vs. makes it a welcome addition to the SHoF. And yes, I do have one of the copies of the CD without the title on it. (If you remember, the band did have a name for the album when it when to print, so the first shipment went out without Vs. appearing on the album anywhere.)
During yesterday’s post, I slipped in that Jerry Maguire was one of the few chick flicks that guys can actually enjoy because it had football for us to focus on. As for chick flicks, that’s pretty much the list except for one caveat; oddly enough John Cusack who has somehow make a career out of making watchable romantic comedies from hoisting up the jukebox in Say Anything all the way up to one of the best movies of the past ten years, High Fidelity.
Cusack’s latest entry into the genre is Must Love Dogs, a movie centered on what seems to be a booming business, internet dating. Both Cusack and his female counterpart, Diane Lane, are recently divorced yet not ready to get back into the game. But thanks to some nosey family members and an over-sex lawyer, both inadvertently make into the world of on-line dating. Sadly that’s where the hilarity stops.
The start of the movie starts off with a few chucklers and looks to be focused on the two main characters as they are forced to get back on the horse. But once the internet profile is set up, it quickly turns into Lane’s movie and Cusack wrongly takes a back seat. At this point the movie is rarely romantic or comedic, which is never good for a film that is supposed to be in the genre. Speaking of underused, Stockard Channing is grossly underused as one of Lane’s father’s girlfriends. Much like the Cusack character, Channing’s looked as if they had a bigger part for it, but never got around to fleshing it out.
Plenty of romantic comedy cliché about most notably the obligatory spontaneous break out into song scene. Ironically enough Dermot Mulroney, who may have started this cliché in My Best Friend’s Wedding, is involved in the scene and adds to the insainity of the premise by rushing to the piano to accompany the singing. And what mobile home doesn’t have a piano? The biggest fraud of this movie hough is that not only did neither main character actually own a dog; Snoop Doggy Dogg didn’t even appear in the movie. What a shame.
In a story I broke here, I went to a wedding this weekend. That really isn’t of note because it basically like every wedding I’ve ever been too. Well except that I got a little slack for not giving a wedding gift. Am I wrong to think that you should only have to buy someone only one wedding present in their lifetime no matter how many times they remarry? But anyways. Last summer Wedding Crashers did a very good job mocking weddings, although the crashers would have been wise to skip this wedding as all the bridesmaids were married and the only available chicks there were more like to be flower girls than bridesmaids.
As great as Wedding Crashers was as poking fun at the event, it did miss a couple key wedding events first and foremost how every wedding DJ plays the exact same playlist which hasn’t been updated in a decade or so. I think the only song they played that has been released since I hit puberty was some hillbilly song about riding horses and/or cowboys that successfully dropped my IQ a couple points by listening to it. I only know it was a fairly new song because my sister, my hillbilly music expert, informed me of this. But back on topic, it’s like wedding DJ’s haven’t picked up any new music since the advent of the CD. Granted I had to chuckle when he put on Shout (Parts 1& 2) because of the scene in Wedding Crashers. Too bad there were not any unattached chicks there that wouldn’t have been carded at the bar to reenact that scene. Oh well.
But the real genesis of this post is another aspect of a wedding that the movie sadly didn’t address was the first dance song. Now I wrote a dissertation back in college stating that “Your Song” has a direct correlation to divorce. If “Your Song” is I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith, don’t expect to be getting to the bronze anniversary. Also if you are a dude and you get stuck with “Your Song” that was written by Diane Warren, it’s time for your man card to be revoked. It doesn’t bode well for this bride that for the second time had a hillbilly song as “Their Song.” It may have actually been the same song, but I can’t be for certain as all hillbilly songs start to sound alike after a while.
Unfortunately you cannot just declare “Your Song” because it has to happen organically and must be mutually agreed upon without actually being discussed. This usually happens at a romantic interlude, in high school this is typically during your first kiss during a slow dance at Homecoming. Although if you are high school sweethearts you do run the risk of having some pretty cheesy songs being played and no one want I Swear by All 4 One following them ten years later. Them there are the people that miss interoperate song. I don’t know how many weddings I been to in the past decade that have had Crash into Me by the Dave Matthews Band as the first dance not knowing that the song is in the point of view of a stalker. Okay, if you meet your future husband lurking outside your window, the song may fit, but everyone else you may want to find something else.
Since I’m long past the awkward high school dance phase, it is a little easier to set up an organic moment for “Your Song.” And here are some of the songs on the top of my list to use during those situations (in no particular order):
Your Song (Elton John) - Yeah it’s the archetypical “Your Song,” but it’s old enough that not many people will be using it as they all go for Your Body Is a Wonderland if they’ve outgrown Crash into Me.
Have a Little Faith in Me (John Hiatt) - Quite possible the most romantic song ever written, and currently on the top of my list potential “Your Songs.” If Hiatt’s a little too obscure for you, you can also check out versions by Joe Cocker, Jewel, or Mandy Moore.
Every Time I Close My Eyes (Babyface) - Another oldie but goodie, this time from my formative years, back when R&B was good babymaking music. Granted back then there wasn’t many chances fore babymaking back then, but isn’t that what the wedding night for? Then throw in some Mariah Carey and Kenny G for the ladies and it’s like the Jerry Mcguire of music (both dudes and chicks can enjoy).
I Believe (When I Fall in Love it Will Be Forever) (Stevie Wonder) - If Have a Little Faith in Me is the most romantic song ever written, this runs a close second. And High Fidelity has no barring on this song being on this list (okay, maybe a little).
Sometimes You Can’t Make it on Your Own (U2) - Maybe not the most romantic song on the list being that the song is about Bono’s dad, but no one is better at songs about relationships and the song’s theme is a great way to start any relationship especially the marriage kind.
‘Til Kingdom Come (Coldplay) - Kind of obscure as it was stuck in the back of their last album as a not so hidden track. The one drawback is that it doesn’t have a very danceable quality so it hinders its first dance appeal. But say if you are musically inclined and can rework the song and slow it down for that very purpose, it would definitely score extra points for you.
This is in no way a definitive list, just some songs that have popped into my head, so feel free to add your own in the comment section or tell me of a song that has worked for you.
I have to admit I was a late-comer to You Tube, but I’ve found myself spend more and more time on the sight checking out mostly live performances, although I wish people would stop posting crapping videos taken off their camera phones because the quality is usually horrible. Even one of my favorite reads, Bill Simmons recently inducted thirty-three videos into the You Tube Hall of Fame including videos of Beavis and Butthead watching Hulk Hogan’s video and the top 10 baseball fights (how was the minor leaguer who mule kicked the catcher not number one; greatest move ever). And don’t let the Sports Guy moniker fool you because, much like the 9th Green, it's not just about sports as he takes on pop culture too, but you may want to skip whenever he starts going on and on about Boston sports. But anyways. Aside from the videos on his list, here are some videos I’m checking out.
Bruce Springsteen - Pay Me My Money Down (Conan O’Brien)
I used to be a faithful watcher of David Letterman (which I once appeared, sadly which hasn’t got onto You Tube yet) but as I grow older, I, much like Tony Kornheiser, can’t stay awake to watch it anymore. But I still check out the late night shows to see if they have any great guests on to tape (I’m not cool enough to Tivo) and that was the case Friday with Bruce Springsteen on Conan O'Brien. If this is any indication of what his tour is going to be like, I’m, going to have to pick up some tickets. But while watching it, I swear I saw Conan O’Brien on acoustic guitar and low and behold, it was him. They even let Jimmy Fallon, who was on earlier for an “In the Year 2000” bit, play the spoons and if you look closer, you can see Thomas Hayden Church in the background playing the glockenspiel or something.
This video has something to live up to as Jack White’s other band; The White Stripes always has great videos. The Raconteurs video doesn’t disappoint, but for some reason this video reminds me of an old cartoon that involved racing and included a dog, thing was named Dastardly or something like that, and it’s now totally bothering me that I can’t remember the name. It doesn’t help that Black would looked exactly like the baddie in the cartoon if he put on a top hat.
This video should put to rest all those plastic surgery rumors following Ashlee Simpson these days because it is now obvious that she didn’t go under the knife, instead it was the lead singer of Kajagoogoo that beat the ugly out of her. I love how the video is in black and white to give it the serious edge, but only succeeds in making it harder not to laugh while watching it. What sad though is that I reviewed her album (Hey, How Long Till the Music Drowns You Out?) and don’t even remember this song. Although I don't see this song in iTunes, does this means she has a new album coming out? Maybe that meteor set to hit the Earth on Monday will turn out to be a good thing after all.
One of the best shows MTV has ever produced, back when they actually has musical programs, was the iconic Unplugged. Almost the music heavyweights from the eighties and nineties picked up the acoustic guitar for the seminal series. Then MTV switched to a lifestyle network and the show disappeared. It was later picked up by its sister station MTV2 (keep in mine this was also back in a time when MTV2 actually showed videos before it became a second rate Cartoon Network and a place of MTV castoff show). Needless to say I was excited to see the show’s return although one of the bands on the lineup, Dashboard Confessional, I wasn’t really aware of.
What surprised me when I tuned into their performance was how the lead singer didn’t even sing much as the audience took over and more times than not drowned him out when he did sing. The songs were refreshing as teen pop and rap-metal dominated the channel with heart on their sleeve songs. A few years and an album later, the band is back with more of the same for their new album Dusk and Summer.
The album starts off with the bombastic Don’t Wait where Chris Carraba sets the tone early with belting out a soaring intro. That energy keeps up for most of the album which actually is a downside of the album because it sounds as if they are trying to hard to make stadium anthems. But I’m not sure crowds are ready to sing “My capillaries scream” along with Carraba as that phrase gets old soon. And what is that metaphor supposed to mean anyways? I let Screaming Infidelities slide because the phrase sounded cool, but I’m going to need an explanation to how, why capillaries scream.
One of few times they do take it down a notch is for So Long, So Long. It’s almost apropos that Adam Duritz helps out with vocals on the song because Counting Crows mastered the heart on the sleeve song long before Dashboard Confession came along. Currents followes the same theme but unfortunately, Duritz didn’t rub off enough to help the rest of the album sound mediocre at best. Then again, Duritz hasn’t had that much of a rub on his own band’s last couple albums.
The ESPY’s are quickly becoming even more entertaining than the MTV Awards season granted half of the readers here may not even know what they are, and that half most likely like dudes (ESPY’s are awards given out by ESPN, just don’t ask me what they stand for). This year, fresh off his retirement, Lance Armstrong host and it’s already been announced that a group of female Afghani women who set up soccer matches for the fairer sex will be receiving the Arthur Ashe Award, a segment that always ranks as the one of the most emotional moments of the year and enough reason to watch. Now, much like the Grammy’s, there are way too many categories to list here, plus I have no desire to pick who is the dude who can turn left for five hours the best, so check out all the nominees and vote on the ESPY’s page at ESPN.com and be sure to check out the awards July 16th. Now on to my predictions:
Best Male Athlete Lance Armstrong (Cyclist) Vince Young (University of Texas Football) Shaun Alexander (Seattle Seahawks) LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers) Albert Pujols (St. Louis Cardnals)
Who Will Win: Lance Armstrong Who I Voted For: Lance Armstrong
First off, where’s Dwayne Wade? How does LeBron get the nod over him? Really, this category is easy because you can eliminate the three people that didn’t win anything. Not that it really matters as Armstrong will run away with the award like he always does when Tiger Woods isn’t involved (and sometimes when he is).
Who Will Win: Annika Sorenstam Who I Voted For: Hannah Teter
A pretty pathetic group her with two chicks who’s sports barley qualify as sports, but I gotta go with the gold winner.
Best Team Maryland Lady Terrapins Basketball Chicago White Sox University of Texas Football Pittsburg Steelers Miami Heat
Who Will Win: Pittsburg Steelers Who I Voted For: Miami Heat
The Steelers had a decent run, but being a Browns fan, I cannot vote for them ever, I’m going with the Heat instead because Shaq winning a title without Kobe, making him look even worse is a good thing and it makes up for Wade’s oversight for Best Male Athlete.
Best Coach/Manager Ozzie Guillen (Chicago White Sox) Bill Cowher (Pittsburg Steelers) Billy Donavan (University of Florida Basketball) Jim Larranaga (George Mason Basketball) Pat Riley (Miami Heat)
Who Will Win: Bill Cowher Who I Voted For: Jim Larranaga
Cowher’s is obviously out out, Donavan ruined my March Madness bracket, Riley didn’t even coach the whole season. So even though I fear Guillen will call me names if I don’t vote for him, I’m going with Larranaga because I gotta give a fellow Mid Major some love.
Best Game Andre Agassi vs. James Blake (US Open) Houston Astros vs. Atlanta Braves (Game 4 NLDS) USC vs. Texas (National Championship)
Who Will Win: National Championship Who I Voted For: Game 4 NLDS
This was easy for me as I not only watched just one of these games, I even blogged about it - The New Killer B(urke). Only the sixth walk off/series ending home run ever the cap off the longest postseason game ever. Much better than watching an overrated team get beat.
Best Championship Performance Vince Young (University of Texas) Venus Williams (Tennis) Sam Hornish Jr. (Indycar Driver) Dwayne Wade (Miami Heat) Who Will Win: Vince Young Who I Voted For: Dwayne Wade
Let me get this straight, the left turn only circuit has a championship? Wait, never mind, I don’t care. But here’s my argument for Wade, the Heat lost Game 3 getting ready for a sweep, but somehow was able to single handedly save the game and then made sure his team didn’t lose again in the series. Again, who was he not in the Best Male Athlete category?
Best Moment Kobe Bryant - 81 Point Game Dakoda Dowd - LPGA Attempt Jason McElwain - Manager, Shooter George Mason - Final Four Run
Who Will Win: Jason McEwain Who I Voted For: Dakoda Dowd
Throw Bryant out right away and I already gave George Mason some love earlier, so for me this comes down to the two heart-tuggers. For those that don’t watch Sportcenter, here’s the lowdown on the other two; McElwain was an autistic manager for his high school basketball team. Then in the team’s last home game, the coach let him go in during some garbage time and hit six three-pointers, scoring twenty points in four minutes. Dowd on the other hand got a sponsor’s exemption to play in an LPGA tournament, giving her mother, who is dying from bone cancer, a chance to fulfill her dream of seeing her kid play in a pro event. Dowd almost made the cut going two over par even among the immense media presence at the event.
Best Play Nathan Vasher - NFL’s Longest Play Tyrone Prothro - Alabama’s Unbelievable Catch David Wright - One Handed Catch Aaron Rowand - Nose for the Team Reggie Bush - Punt Return TD
Who Will Win: Reggie Bush Who I Voted For: Aaron Rowand
As a defensive guy, I love seeing the Web Gems on Baseball Tonight and Rowand’s catch was one of the best. Keep in mind that the bases were loaded with two outs some if he doesn’t get that ball, that’s three runs that likely score.
Best Comeback Teddy Bruschi (New England Patriots) Ronnie Turiaf (Los Angeles Lakers) James Blake (Tennis)
Who Will Win: Teddy Bruschi Who I Voted For: James Black
Bruschi will most likely win in a landslide, but I was a little queasy of him coming back that soon from a stroke. Blake on the other hand came back from a fractured vertebrae, contracted a debilitating virus, all the while losing his father to cancer. After all that, he made it to the finals of a major.
Best Breakthrough Athlete Kimmie Meissner (Figure Skating) Shawn White (Snowboarder) Chris Paul (New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets) Alexander Ovechkin (Washington Capitols)
Who Will Win: Shawn White Who I Voted For: Chris Paul
Meissner didn’t even medal in the Olympics, I already thought White broke out along time ago, but Paul was the best rookie in the NBA even though the team that drafted him didn’t even have a permanent place to play. You gotta have heart to play under those conditions.
Best Record-Breaking Performance Ben Roethlisberger - Youngest QB to Win a Superbowl Shaun Alexander - Most TD’s in a Season Mike Metzger - Backflip over the Fountains at Caesars Kalen Pimental - American LLWS Strikeout Record
Who Will Win: Shaun Alexander Who I Voted For: Shaun Alexander
Being the youngest/oldest is a pretty cheap record especially at a team sport and what exactly was Metzger’s record? Since you can never be sure of a Little Leagers age, I’m going with Alexander.
Best College Male Athlete Vince Young (University of Texas) Reggie Bush (University of Southern Cal) Matt Leinart (University of Southern Cal) J.J. Redick (Duke University) Adam Morrison (Gonzoga University)
Who Will Win: Vince Young Who I Voted For: Adam Morrison
Both Redick and Bus are looking at violations against the law and NCAA rules repesctively. Leinart gets thrown out for the double no-no of hanging out with Nick Lashay and dating Paris Hilton. So Morrison edges out Young by a moustache.
Best Baseball Player Albert Pujols (St. Louis Cardinals) Chris Carpenter (St. Louis Cardinals) Alex Rodriguez (New York Yankees) David Ortiz (Boston Red Sox)
Who Will Win: Albert Pujols Who I Voted For: Albert Pujols
Ortiz gets thrown out for only showing up four-five times a game, really how cheap is that? This should be a runaway for Pujols, but where is Johan Santana?
Best NBA Player Kobe Bryant (Los Angles Lakers) Steve Nash (Phoenix Suns) LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers) Dirk Nowitzki (Dallas Mavericks) Dwayne Wade (Miami Heat)
Who Will Win: Dwayne Wade Who I Voted For: Dwayne Wade
I think I’ve spent more time talking about basketball today then spent watching it the past year, so let’s move on.
Best NFL Player Shaun Alexander (Seattle Seashawks) Peyton Manning (Indianapolis Colts) LaDainian Tomlinson (San Diego Chargers) Steve Smith (Carolina Panthers) Brian Urlacher (Chicago Bears)
Who Will Win: Shaun Alexander Who I Voted For: Shaun Alexander
I’m beginning to think there are more ESPY awards than Grammy’s at this point, moving along:
Under Armour Undeniable Performance Award A.J. Hawk (Ohio State) Matt Leinart (University of Southern California) Kobe Bryant (Los Angles Lakers) Ryan Howard (Philadelphia Phillies)
Who Will Win: Kobe Bryant Who I Voted For: Ryan Howard
WARNING: Blatant product placement. I have no idea what this award is supposed to represent, but I’ll go with Howard just because.
GMC Professional Grade Play Award Doug Flutie (New England Patriots) Candice Parker (University of Tennessee) Antwaan Randle-El (Pittsburge Steelers) Aaron Rowand (Philadelphia Phillies)
Who Will Win: Doug Flutie Who I Voted For: Doug Flutie
So how exactly does this differ from Best Play (which Rowand is also nominated for)? Are these the ones that GMC executives hand picked? But anyways. I believe Flutie is here for the drop kick he had during his final season, so I’ll go with him.
Now I'm not entirely sure what catergory it should be nominated in, but this deserves a nomination for next year. My favorite part is when he brings out the water bottle. All tirades need props.
The knockout round of the World Cup started yesterday and I was able to correctly pick seven of the sixteen teams in their correct seeding from my original picks (see - Are You Read for Some Football?). As for the round robin games themselves, I was fairly mediocre ranking in the 50th percentile in their pick ‘em game. I was unable to correctly pick every game in a single group but went five of six in Group H missing only the Saudi Arabia-Tunisia tie. On the other side, the group of death lived up its name as I only got one match correct, Italy over Ghana.
I was unable to post my revisionist picks for the knockout round yesterday as I was stuck at a wedding, so here are those, unchanged from what I chose from what I picked from the ESPN game on Friday:
Round of Sixteen Germany over Sweden Argentina over Mexico Ecuador over England (oops) Netherlands over Portugal Italy over Australia Ukraine over Switzerland Brazil over Ghana Spain over France
Quarterfinals Germany over Argentina Italy over Ukraine Netherlands over Ecuador Brazil over Spain
Semifinals Germany over Italy Brazil over Netherlands
When I first heard of Keane, I though what a fresh idea; a three piece band with no guitars instead just a piano to drive the melodies with drums being the lone part of the rhythm section. But as soothing as Somewhere Only We Know was, I only found it as background music at best, and like most America, lost interested making Keane a good candidate for one hit wonder land. And that was almost the case as the band almost split up in between albums.
That animosity clearly shows up on the album that nearly spawned the split and Under the Iron Sea is much darker from what I expected. The tone is set with the dark Atlantic that opens the disk. The mood builds and builds after a new creepy layer is brought starting with the piano, then the drums and other atmospheric sounds until it all comes crashing down when the vocals arrives only to build up once again. But the atmospheric mood quickly gives way to arena rock with the pompous Is it Any Wonder? The real wonder is how the three of them are able to create some much noise with the absent of guitars (and when it comes to arena rock, noise in a good way).
For those looking for a rehash of Somewhere Only We Know, don’t look for it on this album. Nothing in the Way starts off with what sounds like the same piano chords, but the song quickly becomes more edgy. But the chip on their shoulder vibe does wear thin after awhile making for a long fifty minute album. Hamburger Song and Try Again are the rare tracks where the band slows things down reminiscent of the former mellow self. Most of the songs sound like Coldplay channeling Pink Floyd but without the diversity. Maybe next time next time Keane should bring in a guitar for a song or two to spice things up for the next album. Well that's if they don't implode by the time that happens.
First let me clarify Ozzie Guillen’s oversized dome isn’t due to performance enhancers like say, Big Head Barry, instead it is thanks to his bloated ego. And the more he hears himself talk, the larger it gets. His most recent growth spurt in the head started last week when dude puts a pitcher, Sean Tracy, on the mound for the sole purpose of plunking someone just because another pitcher beamed A.J. Pierzynski, rightfully so, a couple times. When the pitcher was unable to hit the guy Guillen picked out for retaliation, he then promptly sends the pitcher back to minors. What a bush league thing to do. And even though Guillen all but admitted to ordering the plunking, Bud Selig, like always, just turned his head. If this was David Stern, there would be a lot of money going to a charity of his choice by now. Granted this is all just another reason to hate the American League and their horrible idea called the designated hitter.
But the bigger, and more recent case of Guillen loving to hear himself talk is when he turned sights onto Chicago writer, and one of the many reasons not to watch Around the Horn, Jay Mariotti whom Guillen said of, “What a piece of (expletive deleted) he is, (expletive deleted) (derogatory term for homosexual).” Now I could care less what people say, I’ve heard a lot worse come out of kids that haven’t hit puberty yet. But here’s why I’m offended, that he’s throwing around insults that dudes in Middle School use as frequently as “The.” I’d like to think a grown adult, especially one who is in a position that requires a lot of public speaking, could come up with a more original insult that a sixth grader.
Well I was offended until I heard his apologies, which could rank as one of the greatest apologies of all time: “I don't have anything against those people. In my country, you call someone something like that and it is not the same as it is in this country.” Nothing says I’m sorry like referring to those you offended as “those people.” Oh, and Guillen has lived in the United States for twenty years and is a naturalized citizen, so that throws away that excuse. And when he said he apologized to “the people I offended” he actually used air quotes. Classy.
But that’s not the part that makes it the best apology ever, this is; Guillen further explained to Greg Couch of the Sun-Times that he has no problem with gays, and that he has gay friends, goes to WNBA games, went to a Madonna concert and plans to attend the Gay Games in Chicago. Really nothing says how gay friendly you are then going to WNBA games and Madonna concerts. I'm surpised he didn't bust out, "and I watch Will and Grace." This apology could actually be more insulting then the original slur. Oh, also lost in the apology, he called Mariotti “a piece a (expletive deleted)” again, twice, and threw in “he’s not a man” for good measure. Best apology ever.
Then after his initial comments, Guillen then got thrown out of that night’s game after one of pitcher, David Riske actually succeeded in plunking a batter in retaliation. Then today, surprisingly Bud Selig handed down some punishment for his actions. And for those keeping track at home, here’s the tally: Ordering a pitcher to plunk someone and missing - none; Ordering a pitcher to pluck someone and succeeding - one game suspension and undisclosed fine; Making offensive statements - undisclosed fines.
As we entered this new decade, one genre that has seemed to disappear from the musical landscape has been R&B. Don’t talk to me about Usher or Ciara because that type of R&B has been taken over Hip-Hop influences. Yeah, it was novel when Mary J. Blige invented the sub-genre over ten years ago, but now that every R&B artist has Hip-Hop producers all over their albums, it’s become tiresome. Even Alicia Keys, whose first two albums were great, sometimes lets Hip-Hop take over too much in her songs. When I talk about real R&B music, I’m talking about baby making music like Boyz II Men and Babyface.
Enter Corinne Bailey Rae and her self titled debut album. The English songbird has actually been able make an R&B record in 2006 that doesn’t have any Hip-Hop beats on it. Rae has been touted as a cross between Macy Gray and India.Arie but her voice is much more assessable than Gray’s (though it does take a little time to get used to) and goes far beyond Arie’s acoustic soul leanings. The comparison must come from the acoustic guitar driven second single Put Your Records On.
In fact on the album Rae is able to catch the vibe of R&B throughout the decade starting with the opener, Like a Star, a soft and stripped down song that evoke Billie Holiday. She then moves into the sixties with Trouble Sleeping which could have fit in easily at a time when Motown ruled. Then Call Me When You Get This with its pseudo-disco beat could have been played during the hey day of Studio 54. Breathless would have a good edition to any Anita Baker album. With the closing track, Seasons Change, Rae is even able to evoke Alicia Keys without the Hip-Hop beats.
This album may not be enough to bring back real R&B nor will it produced more babies than a Barry White release, but it’s definitely worth a listen to anyone who misses silky voices and are tired of aggravated drum beats. The diversity of the album, mixing a wide range of soul music as well as a wide variety of instruments from song to song, should keep Corinne Bailey Rae in music collections for years to come.
One of the best debut albums this decade was Nelly Furtado’s Whoa Nelly! Yeah, it was a little uneven at times but when she was on, it was great like with Turn out the Light. The mix of techno and pop was refreshing at a time that overproduced music was being overexposed. Then for her next album, Nelly went more introspective and stripped down for her follow up Folklore which was wrongfully overlooked.
But after hearing the new single, Promiscuous, it sounds like as if Nelly has done a complete one-eighty from the introspective stripped down songs from her last album instead going for of a hip-hop influenced album for her latest album Loose. And how do you spot a hip-hop album, you might ask, well it’s as simple as looking at the track list and count up the songs that are “featuring” someone as this album features more artist than her last two combined (for those keeping track at home, it would be 3-0 and that doesn’t include the bonus track and the pulled before the album went to press track featuring the dude from Coldplay). Another tell tale sign is in the production as in addition to her usual production team of Track and Field, Nelly brought in uber-producers Timbaland and Pharrell of the Neptunes as well as Scott Storch, the hip-hop producer rappers go to when they can’t afford Dr. Dre.
Much has been made of Nelly’s new sound biting that of Gwen Stefani’s solo effort of 80’s dance music meets 00’s hip-hop beats and for most of the first half album most notable on the upbeat Glow and the slow jam Showtime but Do It is vintage Madonna circa Holiday. Although I think Promiscuous is less Hollaback Girl (or My Humps for that matter) and has more of a lineage to 90’s rap classic, I Got a Man. But the problem with these songs is they are clearly disposable and will fall into obscurity within a couple years and will be forgotten until Hal Sparks waxes poetic about them on I Love the 00’s.
Sadly Maneater isn’t a cover of the Hall and Oates classic and really that’s all I have to say about that song.
Then in the middle of the album Nelly switches gears and goes to her roots with the Spanish influenced No Hay Igual which should be heard coming from every bar down in South Beach this summer or from every campaign bus of politicians trying to court the Hispanic vote in the midterm elections. Nelly then duets with Latin superstar Juanes for Te Busque. Oddly enough there is a bonus Spanish Version at the end of the album although its title isn’t in English. Then Say it Right has Cuban drum beats that would make Shakira jealous.
Nelly then ends the album with the types of songs that peppered Folklore though none hit the emotional high that Try did. In God’s Hand lays it on pretty thick. But she does much better with All Good Things (Come to an End) co-written with the dude from Coldplay but this one was left on the album. Wait for You sounds like something from the Whoa Nelly! era. Loose is a decent mix of old and new, but hopefully on her next album, Nelly lays off the disposable pop that liters the front half of the album.
As I reported last week, Jamie Kennedy has a hilarious new video, Rollin’ with Saget out from his show Blowin’ Up which I posted thanks to YouTube (see - Am I Throwing You Off?). Unfortunately though, YouTube isn’t really known for its quality video resolution. So for those interested is seeing a better quality version of the video as well as being able to download it so you don’t have to deal with the pesky streaming video, iTunes is currently offering up the video for free. Granted there are some drawbacks to getting this video, the first and foremost being better quality of video means a better view of Tara Reid whose better off looked at in bad lighting. The other major problem being that the video is the censored version. But hey, it’s free. But you can still buy the uncensored song for ninety-nine cents. For some reason I cannot make a direct link to the free video, but just go to the TV page of iTunes and the ad should come up, feel free to use the two previous links to open the program for you to the show or song.
In other music related new, after weeks of very little quality albums to review, I’m currently working on three album reviews of albums coming out tomorrow so those will be coming in the next couple days. For those who want hints as to who that will be, one’s initials are NF, another is trying to avoid one hit wonder status, and that last had an acoustic song included on my last Car Mix. Bonus points to anyone who can guess the artists (and by bonus points, I mean a hearty pat on the back, well a virtual hearty pat on the back). One album I won’t be reviewing, on account that I don’t review live albums or greatest hits, is the new Counting Crows live album, New Amsterdam. But I will say you will be better off getting their previous double live album, Across a Wire which has a much better selection of their songs. The album is worth the price of admission sole for the live version of Anna Begins.
Other posts to look for, after the recent Lost 2.x review, I only have one show left to review, the Scooter Television Award for Best Show winner, Veronica Mars, so expect that in the new future along with the season two long Toss Up between the two previously mentioned show. So if you watch both shows religiously and enjoy my weekly series and would like to help me with a few suggestions on categories the show should battle out for, shoot me an e-mail as I’d like this last one to be as comprehensive as possible. I’m been racking my brain since the shows concluded, so you don’t really need to send along anything obvious or something I’ve mentioned in previous installments of the Toss Up series.
Finally, with summer in full swing, I have been toying with the idea of taking the weekends off. I’ve noticed a sharp decline in viewership to the 9th Green on weekends, since it’s started to warm up. Plus there is less to write about over the summer in the world of entertainment as there is really only one appointment TV show for me (Rescue Me). I did renew my Blockbuster subscription, so I should have more DVD reviews than I done recently, which have been basically none. And on the subject of Blockbuster, and this goes to those who prefer Netflix for some reason, with little worth watching over the summer, may I suggest added Veronica Mars to your queue if you have yet to watch the show. And if you don’t have any DVD subscriptions, you may want to check out your local library to see if they have a copy as a group has raised a lot of money to buy up the show’s DVD’s and donate them to libraries across the country. Veronica Mars is a most see show and if you don’t watch it, you are totally a television snob, not that I’m entirely sure what a musical snob is.
Last season, Lost started out the gate as the show with the most buzz. This fake Survivor type show was full of interesting and diverse characters, intertwining flashbacks, and a mysterious island that was a character unto itself. All along the journey first season, we were surprised and shocked at all the twists and turns in the flashbacks and on the island, the biggest being that Locke was in a wheelchair at the time of departure. But something happened last season that too most of the wind out of the Lost sail, namely the finale. If the first season moved at breakneck pace, the finale slogged along for three hours as we sat and said, “Just go down the hatch already.” We had to put up with boring flashbacks of the survivors as the prep for the plane along with a long and boring montage of them actually boarding the plane only to have the last image of the season being a group looking down the hatch.
So after a summer of complaining, the people over at Lost gave us what we wanted right off the bat, not that we knew what we were looking at. When the castaways finally descended into the hatch, we got to see it in three straight episodes, once from Jack’s perspective, along with Locke’s and Kate’s. I was surprised we didn’t get to see it for a fourth time in Desmond’s flashback. And since this was the season of see the same thing over again. We also got to see the second confrontation with Zeke, Jin reuniting with Sawyer and Michael on the beach, and the token hot chick’s death scene more than once.
Unfortunately season started off much like the season one finale ended where we sat around waiting for something to happen as we sit threw flashbacks that are not all that interesting. Then when something actually did happen, it was either was pretty obvious like the token hot chick dieing, or I just stopped caring a long time ago like learning how the plane crashed. And now that characters are getting their third and fourth flashbacks, they just seem less interesting. Then there was the Rose and Bernard flashback which had to be the most boring one yet. Yeah, the island has healing powers; I got that with the first Locke flashback. C’mon, couldn’t we have a Rousseau, Libby, or even an Others flashback?
But as the season progress, it did get a little better and that was all due to the inclusion of Not-Henry Gale. Yeah, it was pretty obvious from the get go that Not-Henry was an Other, but that didn’t stop his character from being interesting as he tried to drive a wedge between Jack and Locke. And who knew that when he reunited with Zeke and the boys that they could be so funny but I find it interesting as the Other’s revealed each other’s names, we still didn’t learn Not-Henry’s. And even though he looked to be in charge on the pier, I’m still not sold on Not-Henry being Him.
The second finale seemed like a new show onto itself as we learn more about Desmond, a character we barely got to know before he left. Then we get longer glances at the Others and we see them interact as well as new setting including the giant foot that I’m surprised why everyone is so hung up on the four toes thing. Then there was the last scene, where we got the first look at the outside world with the Artic station and the call to Desmond’s former girlfriend. But with Lost, we were left with many unanswered questions as well as the answers (well, at least my speculation):
- Why did the Others want Jack, Kate, and Sawyer? (They were the one’s who went after Michael, but they don’t want Locke because of his former paralysis)
- What’s with the giant four toed foot? (It was built by Polynesians that lived, or still live, on the island and only put four toes because they are lazy.)
- Who is Him? (Penny’s daddy)
- What was with the bright light and loud noise? (The island resetting large electrical charge.)
- What are the fates of Locke, Eko, and Desmond? (Alive, alive, and alive.)
- Why was Libby in the mental institution? (The death of her husband sent her into a deep depression.)
- What happen to Cindy, the flight attendant? (Was captured by the Others)
- What’s up with the Hanso Foundation and Dharma Initiative? (I think I need to watch the orientation films again.)
- Who did Carol Vessey leave Jack for? (Um, Ed maybe?)
- Why did the others let Walt leave after doing so much to get him? (Much like Desmond, they know he will be back.)
- Who eyeball was in the tailies’ hatch? (Some one we haven’t met)
Oh and course, there are still these unanswered questions from last year (with some revised answers from what I originally thought at the end of last season; see - Guys (Dramatic Pause) Where Are We?):
- How did Locke get in the wheelchair? (Shot by his dad after stalking him.)
- What is the monster? (A Hanzo experiment gone wrong.)
- Why did the fortune teller change his mind about Claire keeping her baby? (He was paid off by the Others.)
- How did Jack single handedly beat up Ethan Rom after be beaten like a red headed step child days earlier? (Ethan let him win.)
- Why would Sayid hook up with Shannon after being so close to finding his true love? (I, personally forget about any past loves if I had a chance with Shannon.)
- What's with the numbers? (Just a way to connect everyone and everything.)
- What did the French chick say to Hurley to calm him down? (Gave him some French lovin’)
- Why did Claire name here kid Aaron? If she lost all her memory, what could the significance of this be? (I think the writers screwed up.)
- What did the Others want with Walt? (He can control the monster.)
I may add more to this list later. Feel free to leave any unanswered question in the comment section and if I add it, I’ll give you credit and even try answering it for you.
- For those who watched the season finale of Everybody Hates Chris, you saw a hilarious montage about how people go all out for Mother’s Day, but Father’s Day is basically an afterthought for most of us. But it looks like Major League Baseball, after going all out with their breast cancer awareness on Mother’s Day (see - Think Pink), are not forgetting the less fair sex. This Sunday at all MLB games they will be holding the 7th Inning Stretch an inning early. Why you ask, it’s to point out that one out of every six male will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime. Granted not as cool as pink bats, nor is it getting the same amount of press (I couldn’t even find anything about it on espn.com), but it is something.
- Much like many of March Madness brackets where I knew I was out of it after the first weekend, I think you can put a fork in my World Cup picks. After the first full week of games I’ve gotten ten of twenty games right putting me in almost in the fortieth percentile. Of course I doubt I’m not the only one that had Equator advancing. But I did have the four other teams that have already punched their tickets in (Germany, England, Argentina, Netherlands, see the rest of my picks - Are You Ready for Some Football?). Hopefully the USA can pull out a win against Italy so I can salvage that pick of them advancing.
- To protect his strained oblique muscle, Big Head Barry has taken to wearing a girdle. The oversized dome is now officially gone from laughable to sad. I don’t even know what else to say.
- Lastly, I would like thank everyone who participated in yesterday’s Lyrics Quiz as it was one of the rare quizzes where I didn’t have to go to the hints to get some guessed. Granted the power ballad is a pretty narrow subject as most of them hold a soft spot in our hearts. I’m not too surprised that Guppyman came out triumphant because the theme seemed right up his alley and now he is firmly planted on my Lyrics Quiz Winners list on my sidebar. If you would like to join him, or move higher up the list, be sure to stop back July 15th for the one year anniversary of the Lyrics Quiz on the 9th Green when I may have an extra special edition. Well most likely not.
- And on an non-sports related topic (if ESPN is showing the dominos championships, the lyrics quiz can fall in that category too; it’s a competition) my sister site, Scooter McGavin Takes Pictures, has an interesting story that may just give some insights into season three of Veronica Mars that involves Deputy Sacks. And who wouldn’t want more Sacks? So be sure to check that out.
Nothing I like better in the summer is head down to the local amptheater, lie on the grass, and some moron pour some bear on me. Fun times. After the beer bath, the next best thing is when the band pulls out the stools and acoustic guitars, dims down the lights, all that tells us that it’s time to bring out the lighters. I don’t, and have never smoked, but I still bought a lighter solely for this purpose. That and it’s has some great uses for annoying your roommate in college, but that’s a story for another day. And the previous reason for the lighter is the basis for this month’s lyrics quiz, as these are all songs that would inspire me to break out my lighter whenever I hear them, whether it’s a concert, reunion, or bar mitzvah. As always, put both the song title and artist in the comment section and if you are right, I will un-bold the song and give you credit. Now onto the quiz (feel free to raise your own lighter while participating):
1. You know I don’t like being stuck in the crowd, and the streets don’t change but maybe the names. (Patience - Guns 'n' Roses; guessed by Medium Large Phill) 2. Baby, baby, baby, when all your love is gone, who will save me from all I’m up against out in this world? (Bright Lights - Matchbox Twenty; guessed by Medium Large Phill) 3. She’ll tell you she’s an orphan after you meet her family. (She Talks to Angels - The Black Crowes; guessed by duckyxdale) 4. I can’t stop now I’ve traveled so far, to change this lonely life. (I Want to Know What Love Is - Foreigner; guessed by Guppyman) 5. You say you’ve cried a thousand rivers, and now you’re swimming for the shore. You left me downing in my tears and you won’t save me anymore. (I'll Be There for You - Bon Jovi; guessed by Guppyman) 6. You’re such a secret, misty eyed and shady. Lady how you hold the key. (Bringing on the Heartbreak - Def Leppard; guessed by Guppyman) 7. She loved him. She don’t want to leave this way, she feed him, that’s why she’ll be back again. (Betterman - Pearl Jam; guessed by Kristi) 8. I listen to her favorite song playing on the radio, hear the DJ say love’s a game of easy come and easy go. (Every Rose Has its Thorn - Poison; guessed by Guppyman) 9. Tears stream down your face when you lose something you cannot replace. (Fix You - Coldplay; guessed by Russ) 10. I know I never meant to cause you no pain and I realize I let you down, but I know in my harden hearts, I know I’m never gonna hurt you again. (I Wish it Would Rain Down - Phil Collins; guessed by Bone) 11. I know it’s everybody sins, you got to lose to know how to win. (Dream On - Aerosmith - guessed by Guppyman) 12. I got a pocket full of money and a pocket full of keys that have no bound. (Can't Get You Off of My Mind - Lenny Kravitz; guessed by Bone) 13. Never cared for what they said, never cared for games they play, never cared they do. (Nothing Else Matters - Metallica; guessed by Russ) 14. When you cried I wipe away all of your tears, when you scream I fight away all of your fears. (My Immortal - Evanescence; guessed by Kristi) 15. Time to take a ride; it leaves today, no conversation. (Big Empty - Stone Temple Pilots; guessed by Kristi) 16. So you think that it’s over, you figure love has finally reached the end, any time you call, night or day, I’ll be right there for you if you need a friend. (Love Song - Tesla; guessed by Guppyman) 17. You played dead, but you never bled, instead you laid still in the grass all coiled up and hissing. (Keep on Loving You - REO Speedwagon; guessed by duckyxdale) 18. As we die, both you and I with my head in my hands I sit and cry. (Don't Speak - No Doubt; guessed by Presentstorm) 19. I just made one mistake; I didn’t know what to say when you called me baby. (High Enough - Damn Yankees; guessed by Guppyman) 20. I don’t need to be the king of the world as long as I’m the hero of this little girl. (Heaven - Warrant; guessed by Guppyman) 21. Cause all of the stars have faded away, just don’t try to worry, you’ll see them someday. (Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis; guessed by Kristi) 22. Now maybe, didn’t mean to treat you bad, but I did it anyways. (Far Behind - Candlebox; guessed by Kristi) 23. You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be and I don’t want to go home right now. (Iris - Goo Goo Dolls; guessed by Russ) 24. What day is it and in what month? (You and Me - Lifehouse; guesssed by Angie) 25. My heart’s like an open book for the whole world to read, sometimes nothing keeps me together at the seams. (Home Sweet Home - Mötley Crüe; guessed by Guppyman)
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. (If you want to buy the video, the title goes to iTunes if available, inside the description goes to the song where you can buy.)
Before I talk about the video, let me say little word about the song first. It seems like every time someone mentions this song they make a My Humps or Hollaback Girl comparison, but I think that’s totally unwarranted. With the He Said/She Said back and forth, Promiscuous the song is actually an off shoot of the 90’s rap classic I Got a Man. Now about the video I could talk about how hot Nelly Furtado is or the inexplicable Justin Timberlake appearance, but instead I want to talk about Timberland. If rap had a drug policy, Timberland would be slapped with a 50 day suspension by now. Dude makes Big Head Barry look like Barry Bonds circa when I Got a Man was popular. Oh and Nelly: I’d repect that if you let me hit it (I love the wiggle she does when she says that line) and what’s with JT being in the video?
This video hasn’t made its way to YouTube yet, so you will have to click over to Yahoo’s video section to see it. I Will Follow You Into the Dark is quite possibly the most romantic song ever about death. As for the video, I’m sure there is some deep meaning into the hole in the floor, oh, wait, it’s the “dark” referred in the song. I get it now.
There was some confusion when I added this song to my latest mixtape. Boston is the song name, not the group that brought us More Than a Feeling. The video is pretty cool too and I love how the tide coming in syncs up to the crescendo of the song.
I have been meaning to check out Blowin' Up, but I somehow always seem to miss it as MTV because they have been showing the least interesting chick from Laguna Beach new show ad nasium. But after see the video for Rollin' with Saget, I may have to hunt it down. I hope you caught cameos by Uncle Jesse, George Lucas, and Tara Reid as Paris Hilton (and no, I won’t be showing her horrible new video anytime soon).
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