Lyrics Quiz: Shortest Songs

Last month was a quiz devoted to the longest songs in my iTunes library and this month is about those length challenged songs, each of which clock in at under 2:30. Songs are ranked from shortest to longest. As always you need to put both artist and title in the comments section (or you can e-mail me) and if you are correct I will un-bold it and give you credit. The Lyrics Quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please do not use anything besides your own meandering mind to help you up with the answers. Now onto the quiz:


1. Bobby says its fine he doesn’t consider it cheating. (Fell in Love with a Girl - The White Stripes; guessed by Tony)
2. Wonder this time where’s she’s gone. Wonder if she’s gone to stay. (Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers; guessed by McD)
3. But when I see out and about it’s such a crime. If you should ever want to be loved by anyone. (It's Not Unusual - Tom Jones; guessed by Rebekah)
4. You got mud on your face, you big disgrace, kicking your can all over the place. (We Will Rock You - Queen; guessed by Tony)
5. Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be. (Yesterday - The Beatles; guessed by McD)
6. Don’t bother to choose: if it’s jug band music or rhythm and blues. Just go and listen. (Do You Believe in Magic? - The Lovin' Spoonful; guessed by Rebekah)
7. I feel so lonely I could die. (Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley; guessed by Jo)
8. I got the letterman’s jacket with the letter in front that I got for football and track.
9. I got a song that I sing; I can make the rain go anytime I move my finger. Lucky me, can’t you see I’m in love. (I've Got the World on a String - Frank Sinatra; guessed by Rebekah)
10. But it’s you that I fell into. (Big Me - Foo Fighters; guessed by Tony)
11. She totally confused all the passing piranhas. (Lump - The Presidents of the United States of America; guessed by Tony)
12. See, don’t ever set me free. I always want to be by your side. (You Really Got Me - The Kinks; guessed by Tony)
13. Big soggy tears’ running down her chin and it smears up her makeup. (Wrong Way - Sublime; guessed by Tony)
14. First time I shot her, I shot her in the side. Hard to watch her suffer, but with the second shot she died. (Delia's Gone - Johnny Cash; guessed by Joe)
15. Microphone checka, swingin’ sword lecture, closin’ down the sector, supreme neck protector. (Da Rockwilder - Method Man and Redman; guessed by Joe)
16. I see earthquakes and lightning. I see bad times today. Don’t go round tonight. It’s bound to take your life. (Bad Mon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival; guessed by Tony)
17. He is gonna kiss me if he doesn’t miss me. Ready for it now, already on the ground. Five minutes in the closet with you. (Spin the Bottle - Juliana Hatfield Three; guessed by Dara)
18. Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and fairytales; that’s all she ever thinks about riding with the wind. (Little Wing - Jimi Hendrix Experience; guessed by Joe)
19. You can rely on the old man’s money. (Rich Girl - Hall and Oates; guessed by Tony)
20. Big hands I know you’re the one. (Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes; guessed by Tony)
21. Black coat, white shoes, black hair, Cadillac. (Time Bomb - Rancid; guessed by Tony)
22. Hey little girl is your daddy home, did he go and leave you all alone? (I'm on Fire - Bruce Springsteen; guessed by Tony)
23. If you are chilly, here take my sweater. Your hand is aching I’ll make it better. (The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson; guessed by McD)
24. Nobody likes you when you’re twenty-three. (What's My Age Again? - blink-182; guessed by Tony)
25. Just get me to the airport, put me on the plane, hurry, hurry, hurry before I go insane. (I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones; guessed by Tony)

Previewing The Closer

For those that need a refresher to what happened to Brenda Leigh Johnson last season on The Closer get caught up with a rapid recap over at TNT.com. Not that you really need to know all the details of her life to jump into the show. The fourth season of the number one ad supported series in cable history is back tonight at 9:00 as show creator James Duff puts it, “We are going to examine the issue of power, especially how much power we really have over our own lives. We live with the illusion that we are in control of our lives. The season will start with Brenda tracking an arsonist while having a reporter follow her every move.”

The arsonist in question just happens to be pyromaniac Bill Croelick who first appeared back in season one who just so happens to show up in a crowd during a forest fire. That fire starts the epic start of the fourth season giving the opening almost a cinematic feel to it. The reporter on the other hand is not Brenda’s idea instead that was the brainchild of Assistant Police Chief Will Pope who would like to have a better relationship with The L.A. Times.

Since we are dealing with arson in the first episode, people with weak stomachs (i.e. me) may want to watch with the hands free so they can promptly put them in front of their eyes in certain scenes especially with the way they try to get fingerprints from charred remains. Brenda’s home life is still as frantic as work while here and fiancé Fritz Howard are stuck in an apartment with plumbing problems while they still look for a home to share the rest of their lives in.

The Closer airs Mondays at 9:00 on TNT starting tonight. You can download past episodes of The Closer on iTunes or on Amazon Unbox. If you want to see a sneak peak of season four, you can also find that at TNT.com.

Previewing Saving Grace

For those that missed the first season of Saving Grace or just need a refresher, check out the show rapid recap over at TNT.com. But before you go, if you have not seen an episode yet, be warned that it easily earns its TV-MA rating and gets very dark at time.

If you want to know what kind of detective Grace Hanadarko (Raising Arizona’s Holly Hunter) is, she is the kind that, while having coffee with a friend while off duty, will chase down an armed carjacker on foot without any backup or protective vest. And like most cops on television these days, especially the ones on cable, Grace has some demons haunting her most of which she drowns with a heavy dose of the alcoholic beverage. Granted she has some decent excuses including having her sister being one of the victims of the Oklahoma City bombings.

Oh, and did I mention the angel named Earl that visited her when she hit as close to rock bottom. Yeah one can compare to the heavy drinking Tommy Gavin who lost his cousin in the Twin Towers and is visited by Jesus. But with Tommy it is pretty ambiguous whether he was seeing him, with his heavily leaning toward thinking it is a hallucination, Grace, along with some other people in her life think that Earl is really looking over her. All the while with rapper tuned singer/songwriter Everlast providing the score and theme song.

In the first season finale, Grace was last seen with a gun to head of the priest who got a little to hands on with here back in grade school. In the start of the second season premiering tomorrow at, Grace’s longtime buddy Rhetta (Just Shoot Me’s Laura San Giacomo) is worried about Grace going MIA since learning the whereabouts of the priest and it takes a while to find out what Grace did with him, but once we see the body (be it dead or alive) Grace’s consequences to her actions play out through the rest of the episode. Oh and her mother, Lucille Bluth pops in too.

Saving Grace airs Mondays at 10:00 (after The Closer) on TNT. You can check out a preview clip also at TNT.com. You can download previous episodes on iTunes or Amazon Unbox. Also if you are fan of the show you want to check outthe Saving Grace community site Embrace your Grace. Users can blog or use the message boards to share how they "embrace their grace"-- the parts of themselves that are fearless, questioning, and passionate-- like the show's main character. They're also giving away 85 tee shirts every day with Grace-like descriptors like "Hellraiser" and "No filter." And there's a sweepstakes for a Porsche (similar to the one Grace drives in the show) as well.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXXVII

Quote of the Week: There's acing it, and there's what you did. Kind of like shooting a cow with a Howitzer. (The Middleman, The Middleman)

Big New of the Week: A Melancholy Happy Trails to Tony Snow: Former Bush spokesmen died early this morning after losing a second bout with cancer at age 53. He lasted only seventeen months as the press secretary before stepping down to have chemotherapy. I remember hearing a fact recently (I know I am messing up the exact number, but you will get an idea) that we since President Nixon declared war on cancer, we have spent less on cancer research that what we do in one week in Iraq. That is just an embarrassing. Tony Snow and the millions of other that have died or are suffering through the disease, including Eric Shanteau who learned just a week before qualifing to the Olympics that he has testicular cancer, deserve better than that. For more on the life of Tony Snow check out the article at MSNBC.

Coalition Links of the Week:
Buzz was pretty delighted by her first glimpse of NBC's Kath and Kim. (BuzzSugar)

This week, Sandie shared her visit on the set of The Closer. (Daemon's TV)

Getting ready for Burn Notice's second season, Rae shares her talk with Props Master Charlie Guanci, Jr. (RTVW)

Vance is looking forward to getting burnt all summer with a new season of Burn Notice! (Tapeworthy)

This week, Jace gave a rare second chance to HBO's upcoming vampire drama True Blood (from Six Feet Under creator Alan Ball), taking a look at the pilot installment's revised version and the series' second episode, kicking off this September. But did he change his tune about the series this time around? (Televisionary)

In his quest to find something -- anything -- to watch on TV, he uncovered an internet music series based out of France. And, believe you me, the clip he found by Menomena is probably the cutest thing he has seen all year. Honest. (TiFaux)

The TV Addict has the scoop on Grace Park's first post - Battlestar Galactica project. (the TV Addict)

Petrozza from Hell's Kitchen badmouthed Matt and Jen and we kinda loved him for it. (TV Filter)


The Middleman: Here is a case of the promo monkeys ruining a show. Knowing that Dr. Phil did it before the show even started just made the reveal less interesting. At least the witty dialogue saved it a little. You can download episodes of The Middleman on iTunes.


The Bill Engvall Show: Great juxtaposition of how cheesy and lame Bill is and really that is what is endearing about the show. Just a half an hour each week to turn off my brain and enjoy. Catch up on recent episodes over at TBS.com





Pick for Next Week: ESPY Awards, Sunday (7/20) at 9:00 on ESPN: Yeah Justin Timberlake hosts, but hopefully the show can overcome that because the awards has been pretty solid in recent years. Expect Lance Armstrong, David Beckham, Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell to show up. Speaking of the former Ms. Veronica Mars, Amazon is having a sale on Crime Shows up to 50% off including all three seasons of Veronica Mars for under $20.

Musings From the Back 9: Music Edition VII

Two Men with the Blues - Willie Nelson and Wynton Marsalis
Willie Nelson and Wynton Marsalis may seem like a weird pairing because, well, it is. But after Willie hooked up with Snoop Dogg on his country song My Medicine, every other pairing just seems a little less odd in comparison. Recorded live at Lincoln Center with Marsalis’ backing band, the two blend the jazzy songs with the country vocals seamlessly with Willie knowing just when to step back and let Marsalis and his band go on extended solos. And if the two genres weren’t enough, Two Men with the Blues live up to the title, because really, who better that Willie Nelson to sing the blues, and even a little New Orleans flavor seeping into a couple track. Most novice music fans will most likely only recognize Ray Charles’ Georgia on My Mind on the album, but that just means more for them to discover on the album.

Two Men with the Blues gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.


Forgiven - Los Lonely Boys
It is pretty safe to call the Los Lonely Boys a one hit wonder. Heaven was just one of those songs that just doesn’t go away and is hard to top. There was nothing close as good on their second album Sacred, and same for their third outing, Forgiven. And if you heard Sacred, you have already Sacred then you have already heard Forgiven as the band doesn’t deviate from the brand of south of the border blues. There are some great riffs like on the album opener Heart Won’t Tell a Lie, and current single Staying with Me is somewhat catchy, that suggest that they could go on to be this generation’s Santana without the revolving door of singers, and maybe even get a second hit, but that hit won’t be coming off this album.

Forgiven gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.


Have Another Ball! - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
You really have to try to dislike Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. They take pop, R&B, and country songs and turn them into punk anthems. Their seventh album Have Another Ball! is a bunch of outtakes from their first album covering songs from the sixties and seventies from artists like Hall and Oates and Diana Ross. Yeah that can get old quick and the entertainment value decreases exponentially with each listen, but for that first listen these songs are thoroughly entertaining especially the Blitzkrieg Pop-ified version of Carol King’s You’ve Got a Friend. Too bad the band did not bring in a George Michael to help them out with the Elton John classic Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me.

Have Another Ball! gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Feed Your iPod the CD vol. I

Feed Your iPod was created to highlight songs that may not have been hits, or even released as singles, but deserve a much bigger audience. Hopefully of the first nineteen I have posted you have a least found a couple that you may not have heard before but have made it into your regular rotation. Of course Feed Your iPod is just a catchy title and any of these can be for any mp3 devise, just your computer and now you can make a CD out of them as the first set comes in at 78:24. You can even help create volume two by emailing me (or use the comment section) song suggestions and a short description on way everyone should have it on their iPod for me to post. Click the links below to be taken to iTunes where you can download the songs or use the widget below to go to Amazon MP3 to get them DRM-free (and sometimes a dime cheaper) or use the label function to scroll threw what I had to say about these songs and full song previews.


1. The Seed (2.0) - The Roots and Cody ChestnuTT
2. Bad Reputation - Freedy Johnston
3. Passing Me By - The Pharcyde
4. School Spirit - Kanye West
5. Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
6. You Never Know - Dave Matthews Band
7. Nightswimming - R.E.M.
8. Award Tour - A Tribe Called Quest
9. Nothing at All - Santana and Musiq
10. Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing to F’ Wit - Wu-Tang Clan
11. Tell Him - Lauryn Hill
12. Summertime - The Sundays
13. Catalyst - Anna Nalick
14. Devil Town - Tony Lucca
15. Have a Little Faith in Me - John Hiatt
16. I Hope That I Don’t Fall in Love with You - Tom Waits
17. Someday We’ll All Be Free - Donny Hathaway
18. Sunny Hours - Long Beach Dub All-Stars
19. Adelaide - Old 97’s

I Want My Music Television vol. XXIX

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.



Cath... - Death Cab for Cutie

The more I listen to Narrow Stairs (see: And They Carried on Like Long Division) the more Cath… becomes my favorite song on the lattest Death Cab for Cutie album. The video is about as odd as the four and a half minute bass groove that started off I Will Possess Your Heart. Half, a fairly literal version of the song about a lady marrying someone she could have done better than with the other half with the whole band lip syncing in a backstage area with grass. Arighty then. Hero - Nas & Keri Hilson The latest album from Nas is no longer called the word I am not allowed to say without receiving a beatdown, indeed is now named, well, nothing. The song has to be in the running for beat of the year so far with it Neptunes meets Timbaland feel, granted the video itself just looks like another Hype Williams retread. Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend In what could be the most profound question of the year, Vampire Weekend ponders, “Who gives a (expletive deleted) about an Oxford Comma”. Indeed. But my pretentiousness aside, you got to like any video that is all one shot. Just don’t ask me what the whole chapter thing is about. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) - Amanda Seyfried Yes that is Lily Kane singing… singing Abba from the theatrical version of Momma Mia, a movie there is no way anyone can get me to see unless Lily Kane herself invites me and involves some extracurricular activities afterwards.

You Got Me on My Knees Begging Please

In what could have been an acknowledgement to comparisons to Amy Winehouse, in her debut single Mercy, Welsh singer Duffy succumbs to temptation chanting, “Yeah, yeah, yeah” as apposed to Winehouse who would say, No, no, no” to rehab. We have seen that it would have been in the best interest of Winehouse to say yes, but only time will tell if Duffy made the right decision to beg for mercy.

The comparison to Winehouse of course comes from the fact that both are riding the retro bandwagon, but where Winehouse, with the help of producer, made that retro feel sound new again putting them up to contemporary themes. The songs on Rockferry are straight up retro, without any hint of modern indulgence, the songs sound like they could have been taken right from albums of girl groups from the sixties if they had been fronted by Dusty Springfield.

The sound gets the retro feel thanks to the plucky bassline of Mercy, the saxophone of Distant Dreamer, and the wall of sound thanks to orchestras that back many of songs. And with lyrics that do not stray from the topic of love, whether it be pro or con to the idea, is right out of the girl group playbook. But it is the stripped down, softer Warwick Avenue, with more emotional lyrics than anything out of Motown in the sixties, is where Duffy really shines and just lets loose on some idiot that did her wrong, again. When so many people are starting to say, “No, no, no” to the antics of Amy Winehouse, it is time to start saying, “Yeah, yeah, yeah” to Duffy.

Song to Download - Warwick Avenue

Rockferry gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

First Impressions: I Love Money

Darn you VH1. I avoided I Love New York and Rock of Love like the plague and only watched the first episodes of Flavor of Love as well as the reunion specials, yet I could name each and every contestant of I Love Money right off the bat thanks to chatching seconds here and there while flipping channels. Of course the reason for watching I Love Money was after the Charm School and saying that a show with the three would be even better. And apparently someone at VH1 was listening. Granted no Charm School, but instead we get I Love Money, which is basically the MTV Real World/Road Rules Challenge for ugly people.

One of the big things of Charm School was burning the name that Flavor Flav gave them and reverting back to their given names. Well that didn't last long as most everyone, including the guys, are even calling themselves by their nicknames. There really isn't anything funnier than reality stars referring to themselves in third person nicknames. And by funnier I mean sadder.

Headlining I Love Money is my boy Torrey “Midget Mac” Samuels, quite possibly the greatest reality star ever in the history of the world. Last fall I even found myself flipping off Heroes just to see what Midget Mac was doing this week on I Love New York 2. Unfortunately Mac didn’t stay too long has his bark turned out bigger that his bite by alienating half the cast, including team captain Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander (who I have a feeling will end up being the Ruthie of the crappy VH1 shows). Mac even got picked over Brandi Cunningham (who still goes by Brandi C. despite the lack of another Brandi on the show) who just twisted her ankle and has the IQ of even the lowest primates.

With Midget Mac no longer around, Lee “Mr. Boston” Marks and his mix of self deprecation and bravado will turn out to be the star of the show. As for a frontrunner, it is hard to pick anyone who could pull off a win. Granted when you pool your contestant from people who tried to hook up with Flavor Flav, New York, and Brett Michaels, you are not getting the smartest, most mentally stable people in the world. If forced to pick I will go with Cindy “Rodeo” Steedle lucking into the 250,000 grand prizes with Frank “The Entertainer” Maresca as my fall back pick.

Verdict: Much like with MTV’s Challenges where I don’t watch the feeder shows anymore, I Love Money has that competitive angle that should make it watchable even in a passing a car crash kind of way. I Love Money airs Sundays at 9:00 on VH1. You can also download I Love Money on iTunes or Amazon Unbox (see below):

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXXVI

Quote of the Week: The ring of fire, when a man comes around, that your daddy called you Sue, the fact that God’s gonna cut you down, that your in the jail house now, the Folsom Prison Blues, that road that goes on forever. (Wendy Watson, The Middleman)

Big New of the Week: A Melancholy Happy Trails to Jesse Helms: Yeah he was straight up raciest, simple and plain, but much like Mac McGill, I find old racist dudes somewhat entertainment, in a dude is senile sort of way.

Coalition Links of the Week:
With the Emmy nomination shortlists out for the comedy and drama series categories, Buzz wondered which five shows would make your ballot. (BuzzSugar)

This week, Sandie shared her interview with Kyra Sedgwick from TNT's The Closer. (Daemon's TV)

In this week's TV Talk podcast we talk about our recent turnaround on Swingtown, what BSG's Tricia Helferis up to, a preview of our upcoming trip to Comic Con and our first impressions of the upcoming Fringe. (Give Me My Remote)

Plattie reviewed the BBC's search for the nation's top disabled model. No, really. Britain's Missing Top Model is an actual show. We're not making this up. (Pop Vultures)

While meeting Dulé Hill last week, Rae learned a little of what to expect for the upcoming third season of Psych and which of Gus' nicknames is actually the given name of one of Dulé's aunts. (RTVW)

Vance celebrated Canada Day with a shout out to all our favourite Canadians on our favourite TV shows. (Tapeworthy)

While he's always happy to host giveaways on TiFaux, Dan had an ugly flashback to his history as an awkward teen as he introduced a new contest for an X-Files compilation DVD. Click the link to enter! (TiFaux)

M*A*S*H’s Alan Alda (Hawykeye) and Wayne Rogers (Trapper) reunited for an interview, and Jennifer was excited to share the video of the event. Among some of the topics covered, was the fact that M*A*S*H and The West Wing, were both recently chosen as two of the top ten smartest TV shows of all time by the chair of MENSA. (Tube Talk)


The Middleman: Same pacing issues as the last issues, but it is hard not to be down with any show that does multiple Johnny Cash references. Maybe that is a sign that The Middleman needs more Noser. You can download episodes of The Middleman on iTunes.


The Bill Engvall Show: If you are going to have characters go to a The Killers concert, either pony up for the licensing fee or just create some faux band name to go with the random background music at the concert. Catch up on recent episodes over at TBS.com




My Boys: I’m sure I would have laughed at Dr. Brando had I don’t do the exact same thing even when I have health insurance as I just really hate doctors and hospitals in general. Plus Dr. McGavin thinks NyQuil is a cure all for pretty much anything. Catch up on recent episodes over at TBS.com. You can also download My Boys on iTunes.


Promo of the Week: Found this over at AICN. Finally some synergy that doesn’t completely suck.



Pick for Next Week: Generation Kill, Saturday at 9:00 on HBO: Since I am too cheap to buy pay channels, I’ll have to wait for the DVD’s, but for those that do, this seven part miniseries, from the creators of The Wire, is a based on a book written by an embedded journalist from the early days in Iraq.

Cleaning Out My Inbox vol. III

A plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on The Closer, Saving Grace, The Ruins, Stargate: Atlantis, Scare Tactics, EMBARQ , The Hottest Young Stars to Watch, and Feral Children.

- Can’t say I have seen either of TNT’s critically acclaimed shows The Closer or Saving Grace, but both will be returning Monday, July 14 starting at 9:00. For those like me that have missed both, TNT has come up with rapid recaps of both which you can view below:

The Closer

Saving Grace


- Last Fall I shared a cool viral ad for The Ruins and now with the imminent release of the Unrated DVD and Blu-Ray version which feature scenes too intense for theaters you can head over ruinsmovie.com and play a game. My sources tell me that the game is best played with your headphones on.

- A pair of Sci-Fi Channel shows return in the next couple weeks including the new season of Stargate: Atlantis, which includes the show’s 100th episode, premieres on Friday, July 11 at 10:00. Then Scare Tactics, with new host Tracy Morgan, starts up on Wednesday July 9 at 10:00.

- A couple weeks ago I posted my rant against Time Warner Cable which is still going on. I may have to look at EMBARQ which also offers cable, internet and phone bundles. EMBARQ is trying to spread awareness about its new satellite services and has created an interactive character named Floppy Armed Muttonhead, that allows you to send “jabs” to your friends through a variety of word combinations all while swinging his floppy arm at them. Check out muttonheadsays.com for all the fun. (Scooter’s Note: doesn’t the dude look like Zach Brath under the hillbilly get up?)

- I am not sure what it says about me or the 9th Green that the very first press release TV Guide ever sent to me is their list of the 13 Hottest Young Stars to Watch, but here is the list:

1. Selena Gomez: This sassy sorcerer from the Disney Channel's Wizards of Waverly Place soon will be costarring alongside Demi Lovato in the cable network's TV movie Princess Protection Program, premiering Sept. 18. With TV, movies and magazine spreads to her credit, Selena is already being dubbed "The Next Miley Cyrus."

2. Demi Lovato: With a sweet voice and perky style, this breakout star of Disney's Camp Rock soon may be the only Demi you'll hear about. When not rockin' venues around the country, she’ll be starring in her own Disney Channel show, Welcome to Mollywood, debuting in the 2008-09 season.

3. Miranda Cosgrove: From starring in her Nickelodeon show iCarly to having four featured tracks on the show's recently released compilation CD, Miranda Cosgrove has arrived. A recent episode of iCarly earned 4.5 million viewers, making Miranda’s show a hit among tweens and teens.

Rounding out the rest of the list are:

4. Emily Osment
5. Brenda Song
6. Dylan and Cole Sprouse
7. Emma Roberts
8. Alyson Stoner
9. Ali Lohan
10. Jordan Pruitt
11. David Henrie
12. Mitchel Musso
13. Meaghan Martin

Yeah, I have no clue who any of these people are sans Roberts, who I believe is Julia’s niece, and Lohan who I assume is Lindsay’s sister. And thirteen is an odd number for a list, couldn’t they find another person, or does Martin have so much potential that she warrants the unlucky number? But anyways. For more on each of these young stars, check out TVGuide.com, but be warned if you are older than these kids and check out the photo gallery, you run the risk of finding Chris Hansen in your kitchen one of these days.

- And since they asked nicely, the band Feral Children have the debut album Second to the Last Frontier coming out next week. You can listen to some of the tracks on their MySpace page.

We on Award Tour: 2008 ESPY Nominations

For whatever reason ESPN has tapped Justin Timberlake at host the ESPY’s. Considering his stint as host of the MTV Movie Awards host was uninspiring, I can’t say this was an inspired choice. And really make no sense because of the occasional Laker stands sighting he has basically any association with sports. Yet with the ESPY’s track record, the show should be at least watchable. This year’s Arthur Ashe Award for Courage, which tend to be the highlight every year will be going to the Black Power guys from the 1968 Olympics. Voting is open over at ESPN.com where you can find all the nominees. Here are select one I am highlighting from this year:


Best Male Athlete
Tiger Woods
Tom Brady
Kobe Bryant
Alex Rodriguez

Who I Voted For: Tiger Woods

Some say that ESPN favors New York and Boston too much and look no further than to this category for that. Here you have two losers nominated and you have to give to Tiger because he actually won something.


Best Team
New York Giants
Boston Red Sox
Kansas University Basketball
Tennessee Woman’s Basketball
Boston Celtics
Detroit Red Wings

Who I Voted For: Detroit Red Wings

My anti-New York/Boston bias is showing by going for Detroit.


Best Championship Performance
Venus Williams
Josh Beckett
Rafael Nadel
Tiger Woods

Who I Voted For: Rafael Nadel

Nadel did the unthinkable and embarrassed Roger Federer.


Best Breakthrough Athlete
Stephan Curry
Adrian Peterson
Kyle Bush
Ana Ivanovic

Who I Voted For: Stephan Curry

Peterson will probably win in a landslide because of all the fantasy teams he help win championships for and I would really like to vote for Ivanavic if only because she is what I like to referrer to as moderately attractive, but there is something to say that my cousin and I were talking about the NBA draft a while back, and we both thought it would be a good idea if the Cavs drafted him and that was solely based on the four games in the NCAA tournament. Now that is the definition of a breakout star.


Best Record Breaking Performance
Barry Bonds
Tom Brady and Randy Moss
Brett Farve
Usian Bolt

Who I Voted For: Brett Farve

Well you have to go for the person on here that never actually cheated, although I feel bad to include Bolt in that statement because I son’t know him, but you have to assume these days all the track and field people are doing something illegal.


Best Upset
Appalachian State over Michigan State (College Football)
New York Giants over New England Patriots (NFL)
Fresno State over Georgia (College Baseball)
Da’Tara at the Belmont (Horse Racing)

Who I Voted For: Appalachian State

As an Ohio resident I have to laugh at any pitfall to the neighbors to our north, but way no March Madness picks?


Best Moment
Central Washington vs. Western Oregon Softball
Jon Lester No Hitter
Danica Patrick

Who I Voted For: Central Washington

This needs to be explained, so some chick hit her very first home run ever only to come up lame going around first. Since rules state that if any teammate touches you on the base path you are automatically out, the other team picked her up and carried her around the base path so her first home run would count.


Best Game
New York Giants vs. New England Patriots
Kansas vs. Memphis (College Basketball)
Boston Celtics vs. Los Angeles Lakers (Game Four)

Who I Voted For: New York Giants

The evil empire getting their first defeat in the last minute of the last game.


Best Play
Eli Manning to David Tyree (NFL)
Trinity University (Division III Football)
Rick Nash (NHL)
Blake Hoffarber (College Basketball)

Who I Voted For: Eli Manning to David Tyree

Hoffarber may not be a name you know, but this is actually the second time nominated and actually won before as a high schooler. But nothing is going to beat the helmet catch.


Best Coach/Manager
Tom Coughlin (New York Giants)
Terry Francona (Boston Red Sox)
Pat Summitt (Tennessee Woman’s Basketball)
Doc Rivers (Boston Celtics)

Who I Voted For: Tom Coughlin

It is silly each year that they always pick the coaches from the winning teams, yet would anyone put Doc Rivers in the fifty best managers in pro sport, much less the top four?


Best Finish
Jamie McMurry (Daytona International Speedway)
Western Kentucky over Drake (NCAA Basketball Tournament)
San Antonio Spurs over Phoenix Suns (NBA)
Pittsburg Penguins over Detroit Red Wings (Stanley Cup)

Who I Voted For: Western Kentucky

The Pittsburg game was a great finish, but it just prolonged the series another game, I got to go with the buzzer beater.


Hummer Like Nothing Else Award
Manny Ramirez
Sidney Crosby
Ashley Force
George Martin

Who I Voted For: George Martin

Wonder if Manny got the nod before or after he knocked the Red Sox secretary to the ground? For those that do not know George Martin, he walked 3200 miles for 9/11 charities.


Best NFL Player
Tom Brady
Randy Moss
Eli Manning
LaDainian Tomlinson
Bob Sanders
Brett Farve

Who I Voted For: Bob Sanders

I am a big proponent of defense wins championships and Sanders is the only defensive player here.


Best NBA Player
LaBron James
Kobe Bryant
Chris Paul
Dwight Howard
Kevin Garnett

Who I Voted For: Chris Paul

Kobe winning MVP was a joke because he wasn’t even the MVP of his own team. Without Pao Gasol, LA doesn’t even host a playoff series that is even if they make it. Paul on the other hand took a nothing team and took them within one game of the NBA Finals.


Best Baseball Player
Alex Rodriguez
Josh Beckett
Jimmy Rollins
Jake Peavy
C.C. Sabathia

Who I Voted For: Jake Peavy

I got nothing, time to end this.

Robbin' Old Folks and Making the Dash

Back in college there was plenty of Madden and pretty much all the sports games from EA, to the point I even entered into a tournament with a dorm mate on who could win the most of the EA games. Unfortunately we never finished because the other guy quite after I went up something like 5-2. But anyways. Even in the middle of all that superior Playstation days, we still had time to play Super Mario Kart.

For the most part we would play match race and tempers flared up just as they would in anything else with controllers being thrown as well as the occasional fist. Easily the most memorable game involved with the quitter mentioned above and may even rank high in most memorable college moments. While we were engaged in yet another marathon session (usually we play best of 10 or more since battle modes do not take that long) and a buddy of ours came in and told him to a sip of something in a cap which he did. The friend mentioned as the other guy bolted out of the room, down to the drinking fountain where he spent a good five minutes that it was moonshine. Needless to say I won that round.

My sister recently mentioned that she was going to buy herself a Wii. Please don’t spoil her, but she will be getting Mario Kart Wii for Christmas and I may be spending more time out her place when it happens. Someone else will have to bring the moonshine. But all in all, the one that started it all is this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame.

Basically What We Gonna Do Is Dance

What a difference a generation makes. Everyone under the age of thirteen knows Vanessa Hudgens as the wholesome chick from the High School Musical series while everyone over that age knows her as the not so wholesome chick from the internet pictures. No matter the age group, very little people know her as a singer outside the musical. Of course it didn’t help that her best songs dropped just shortly before the scandal broke last year.

Since nude scandals no longer hurt careers anymore, and in most cases actually help, Hudgens is back with a new album Identify before parents across the country to see the third installment of High School Musical. If there is a theme to the album it is dancing. The first single Sneakernight is dedicated to the footwear of choice when it is time to go out dancing while Hook it Up is what happens when the shoes are on.

Hook it Up also features the annoying faux rap that ever female dance act goes into at least once an album ever since Gwen Stefani. Most of the dance tracks are you typically paint by numbers tracks that break no new boundaries complete with overproduction and Pro Tools aided vocals. The only song that even comes close to deviating is the album opener Last Night, a danceable track that with banjos that could get people moving from Middle School dances to your local ho-downs. Well ho-downs hosted by Jessica Simpson.

Of course I don’t think there has been a more profound lyrics written this year than, “I see Milky Way hotties so beam me up Scotty” from Party on the Moon. Granted the only other songs worth checking out are the slow songs, highlighted by Don’t Ask Why that comes close to last year’s breezy Say OK. Well unless you fall in the under thirteen category, then maybe the recycled dance beats may be more your style.

Song to Download - Last Night

Identify gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Voted Most Likely to End up on the Back of a Milk Box Drink

Certainly by now you have heard the not a Jill Sobule cover I Kissed a Girl or the ode to Ryan Seacrest You’re so Gay by Katy Perry (I featured the former in a battle of the not cover songs last week). Calling the reviews for her album One of the Boys mixed would be an understatement. Billboard said, “Not since Jagged Little Pill has a debut album been so packed with potential hits,” while Rolling Stone labeled it “boring.”

The Alanis Morissette comparison could come more from the appearance of Glen Ballard who co-wrote her debuted album and hasn’t been heard since help making the worst Dave Matthews Band album of their career. But a much better comparison would be Avril Lavigne if she let her keyboardist have too much control in her band. Not surprisingly, sometime Lavigne producer Dr. Luke also shows up on One of the Boys.

This is not to disrespect Lavigne who has been able to create a few catchy songs in her career and can actually carry a tune. Perry on the other hand has a voice that gets grating fast sounding like the leader of a bad new wave band from the eighties and as Rolling Stone were point on by calling the album boring; it is just one paint by number angst track after another. The only tracks that stand out are the two novelty tracks previously mention, but Perry’s novelty wears thin a lot sooner than even Who Let the Dogs Out as each got tiresome about the second listen.

It is funny that Perry makes fun of emo rockers in You’re So Gay, because if a dude sang any of her songs, he’d definitely wear guyliner and be signed to Pete Wentz’s label. Self Inflicted is so laughable as a song you have to wonder if it is supposed to be as tongue and cheek as her novelty songs. And her love for eighties new wave, a precursor to emo, almost goes over the edge on If You Can Afford Me which changes enough notes from The Cure’s Just Like Heaven to avoid a copyright suit.

Song to Download - I'm Still Breathing - One of the Boys

One of the Boys gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXXV

Quote of the Week: You know the lyric “I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom”: that’s me. (Tony Kornheiser, Pardon the Interruption)

Song of the Week: The Humpty Dance - Digital Underground (as mention by Tony Kornheiser, Pardon the Interruption)

Big New of the Week: Famous People Say the Dumbest Things: Well at least the pundits would have you believe. First off there was John McCain adviser Charlie Black who said that the McCain campaign would benefit from a terrorist attack which had all those pundits up in arms except they have been saying the exact same throughout the primary season as well as Hilary Clinton. Then there was Shaquille O’Neil who asked former teammate Kobe Bryant what the flavoring of his posterior was. This then got a full Sportscenter dedicated to his rap, but c’mon, who hasn’t asked everyone they met this past week to tell them how their (expletive deleted) tasted? Or was that just me? Finally there was Don Imus who asked what color Pacman Jones when it was brought up he had been arrested eight times. When one of his goons said African-American Imus relied, “Well there you go.” Alright, that dude is a moron.


Coalition Links of the Week:
If thinking The Secret Life of the American Teenager could be cheesily addictive is wrong, Buzz doesn't want to be right. (BuzzSugar)

GMMR has been podcast crazy this past week. Two, count 'em, two podcasts! In addition to the usual GMMR/Ducky So You Think You Can Dance podcast, we devoted a separate TV Talk Podcast to what shows are taking over our TV this summer. (Give Me My Remote)

Marcia decided to spend the summer hiatus watching old episodes of Buffy and wondered if the show improves with repeat viewings. (Pop Vultures)

From Miami to Vancouver, this week Rae was on the set of Psych and she's only to happy to share what happened. (RTVW)

School's out and Vance celebrates the end of an era now that Emma, daughter of Spike (from the original Degrassi) has now graduated from Degrassi High on Degrassi: The Next Generation. (Though The N will show those episodes this summer.) (Tapeworthy)

Remember that episode about the helpless dude who delivered the baby in the elevator? Oh yeah, that was every series ever. By that token, Dan decided to coin the term "elevator baby" and cement his role in pop culture history. (TiFaux)

Tube Talk shared some scoop on the new season of Psych, after an interview with show stars James Roday and Dulé Hill, fondly remembered shows that were canceled too early, and asked for help in naming Tube Talk Girl’s future baby boy. (Tube Talk)

This week we finally spotted someone who has a Nerdier license plate than the TV Addicts and released what critics, and by critics I mean listeners are saying was our funniest to date! (The TV Addict)

Kate is disappointed enough with this season of My Boys that she drafted an open letter to the show's writers. (TV Filter)


The Middleman: A bit of a fall off from last week, but I did like the gag of Hell being an office building. But there were some pacing issues keeping it from being as good as the pilot. And again, please stop spending your entire budget on bad CGI. Signs are not good for the future of the show as next week it is hastily being pushed to 10:00, so enjoy it while you can. You can dowload episodes of The Middleman on iTunes.


The Bill Engvall Show: I don’t remember this show being this funny from the first two episodes, but I laughed quite heavily a few times this episode if only because I have been on the receiving end of many of bad gifts in my lifetime. Catch up on recent episodes over at TBS.com




My Boys: Really nothing to say but both the A and B plots fell flat this week. Catch up on recent episodes over at TBS.com. You can also download My Boys on iTunes.


I Love the New Millennium: Back when I Love the 90’s premiered in 2004 I said it was too soon for reminiscing on the decade, so naturally I Love the New Millennium is way too soon. And what worked well with the I Love the 80’s was hearing dudes in their thirties talking about things they grew up about; hearing dudes in their forty taking about MySpace is a little creepy. And do we really need to hear Hal Spark and Michael Ian Black’s thoughts on every subject? It is obvious Black stopped trying around I Love the 80’s Part Deux and Sparks in only funny in small bursts.


Promo of the Week: All the nerds were in a tizzy this week. No, not because Bill Gates retired Friday, but for a promo for Joss Whedon’s internet series Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog featuring Neil Patrick Harris as the title character and Nathan Fillion as his arch nemesis. Here’s the teaser:




Pick for Next Week: I Love Money, Sunday (July 6th) at 9:00 on VH1: I know I shouldn’t be this excited for a show that is going to suck massively, but I have to support my boy Midget Mac.