Quote of the Week: I’m getting married in two hours and fifty years ago. (Olivia, Journeyman)
Song of the Week: Perfidia - Alberto Dominguez (Journeyman)
Big News of the Week: Late Night Coming Back: It seemed like every day this week a new late night show announced its comeback with Worldwide Pants conducting a separate deal with its writers for the Late and Late Late Shows. Then Leno and Conan announced a January second return date with Jimmy Kimmel following with a return the same day. Let’s see if the twenty or so classless writers heckle any of them like they did Carson Daly did this week. You just completely disrespected Carson, Jerry Rice, and the Last Call staff, for what, so you can look like annoying teenagers. If you want to heckle Carson because he is a humongous tool, fine, but it is really selfish to think because you want more money, that means Carson and the rest of his staff shouldn’t be able to put presents under their trees and food on their tables. And this is yet another reason why you are going to end up losing this fight.
Classic Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:
Pop Vultures: This week, Marcia continued her obsession with TV's opening titles by naming the 5 best opening credits sequences, although she's fairly certain no one will agree with her choices. She then managed to gather her thoughts about the Dexter season finale. Also, guest poster Tracey checked in with a woman-on-the-scene report from Monday's strike lines.
TiFaux: This week, we ended up watching more TV on the internet than on the actual tube. That is, shows produced exclusively for the internet. First, there's the indie rock/comedy duo of Carrie Brownstein (of Sleater-Kinney) and Fred Armisen (of SNL) who produce the pretty darn funny Thunderant series. Then, there's hipster comedians Gabe and Jenny, who created an awesome clip spoofing The Hills. Rounding out the week, Kyle noticed a weird similarity between Pushing Daisies and Bill Murray's Groundhog Day.
Survivor: Going in, I actually thought that I had correctly guessed the winner after the first week for the second season in a row only for Amanda pull out the worst final tribal council performance since that old dude who lost to the porn star when he started berating the jury for the questions they asked (I want to say that was Marquises). Amanda instead went with some woe is me approach to let Todd steal the win. She even actually got fewer votes than Courtney. How does that happen? A fitting end to the season with some of the dumbest contestants ever. Granted dumb equals entertaining. Next up Survivor pulls something from the MTV Challenges playbook with All Stars vs. fanatics. Hopefully it is better than the all All Star season which ranked near the bottom in entertainment value. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.
Journeyman: The first episode was easily the best hour of the show, but maybe not for the reasons the writers wanted me to. The absurdity that this new technology changed nothing in present day other than a new kind of PDA, oh, and a daughter instead of a son was just insane. The scene with Dan finding out that he now has a girl may be the most unintentionally funny thing of the year. I was half heartedly hoped that after Dan came back home to find Zach, that Caroline would then come running down the stairs. Oh well.
But the last two episode showed just where the should could have gone with the daughter and the other journeyman making it so he never met his wife. But you got to wonder if the last two episodes were so good only because the writers saw the imminent cancellation and wanted to pull out all the stops. And if so, would these episodes been as bland as the first couple if it were not in trouble?
There in lies the problem with most shows of this ilk, it seems the writers have a five or so year road map of what they want to do, but they spread out the special attractions that there is too much time driving in the corn fields of Iowa that you sometimes have to wonder if it is worth the full drive. Is it that hard to put in something interesting and important in ever episodes, not just premieres, finales and sweeps episodes? Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com. You can also download Journeyman on iTunes.
100 Best Songs of the 90’s: I really hate it when VH1 compiles these list because there are fairly predictable (you really don’t think they will go out on a limb and put anything besides Smells Like Teen Spirit at number one) yet extremely addictive and I have found myself peeking in on it throughout the week. And since it will be repeated excessively since the next VH1 list, I’m sure I will have seen the whole list by New Years even if I didn’t want to. And then everyone around me will here me complain about the list for a while. Seriously VH1, send me a ballot the next time you do one of these list. Also if you need a commentator for it or for the inevitable I Love the ‘00s, shout me a holla.
Promo of the Week: Recently I was watching Dodgeball - A True Underdog Story and who shows up in the movie (besides the Mac guy), none other than Parker from Veronica Mars. Being she was vastly underutilized on the show, especially at the end of the run, I wondered what she was up to these days. After some research I noticed she landed her a recurring role on Eli Stone, whatever that was. After some more research it is apparently a mid-season replacement for ABC (it just so happened to get a timeslot this week with the post Lost slot Thursdays at 10:00). And after seeing this promo (without a Parker sighting, I don’t think she shows up to the third episode) it may be the best or worst thing ever. And the George Michael song isn’t just a random song, supposedly each episode is named after one of songs. Odd choice considering his not so big catalogue. I’m not sure if Wham! titles count.
Next Week’s Pick: #40 on Rolling Stone’s Reasons We Loved Television in ’07 was The writer’s strike for reminding us that our TV has an “off” button and you should utilize that button during the holidays. If you need to escape your family, that’s why God gave us spiked eggnog and champagne. Of course after the holidays are over, be sure to find the “on” by the time the fourth of January comes around for a brand new Friday Night Lights (#38 for using Daniel Johnson’s Devil Town). Now there a good way to start off ’08.
Certainly some of you have already threw a shoe at your radio for playing All I Want for Christmas Is You for the hundredth time or are completely sick of you’re a Very Special Christmas collection, but luckily I have stayed away for those stations and stick primarily to my Holiday playlist that is currently up to four and a half hours worth of cheer. So before you break your radio, here are some suggestions to start your own playlist (feel free to hit me up with suggestions in the comment section):
For you pretentious types there is Sufjan Stevens who has put out an insane amount of Christmas songs. Here is my favorite of the bunch which isn’t as depressing as the title suggests.
Winter Song - Eisley
Less of a Christmas song than just a wintery song (duh) but if are enjoying a white Christmas or just dreaming of one, this song will do the trick. Unfortunately the EP it is on i not currently available on iTunes.
Last year in one of his first singles I Gotcha, Lupe Fiasco claimed he came to resurrect hip hop a couple months before Nas even claimed it was dead. All the pretentious types ate it up and declared that Lupe was everything short of the second coming. Then Food & Liquor was released to a resounding yawn. Making matters worse, Lupe infamously flubbed the lines to Electric Relaxation while paying tribute to A Tribe Called Quest during the 2007 Hip-Hop Honors only to blame it on not being familiar with Tribe despite seeming to be part of their backpack rapping lineage. He did get some points back for appearing in the Nickelback video for Rockstar.
The problem, though, with Food and Liquor, was mostly in the bland production. Lupe always had a wicked flow, stealing Kanye West’s Touch the Sky from him, that lacked the profanities, gunplay, and misogynistic lyrics that have made rap a bore this decade. But things looked up when Dumb it Down released earlier this summer with its sparse, Drop it Like it Hot type synth and base drum simplicity which was a better beat than anything on his debut.
And there are plenty of other great beats for Lupe to tackle throughout Lupe Fiasco’s The Cool, mostly provided by Soundtrackk, like the opener Go Go Gadget Flow (not to be confused with Gnarls Barkley’s Go Go Gadget Gospel) with its frantic strings that sounds like it was taken from a lost Dr. Dre album. The guitar laden Hello/Goodbye (Uncool), co-produced by Linkin Park’s Mike Shinoda, is a nice diversion. Surprisingly the Patrick Stump (he of Fall Out Boy fame) produced Little Weapon works with Lupe taking on guns from those used by boy soldiers in foreign land to those used to knock over the cornerstone, gun down classmates and the ones we use in video games.
With most albums that go north of an hour (The Cool comes in at seventy-one minutes), there is some fat that should have been trimmed. Lupe should have gotten someone else to sing for Matthew Santos (not to be confused with the dude who succeeded President Bartlett on The West Wing but to be confused with another Chris Martin knock-off) on the three hooks he appears on. Snoop Dogg adds nothing to Hi-Definition. And Lupe name drops his next album LupEND about two too many times. And I’m not sure yet if Lupe shouting out the blog lupethefiasco.blogspot.com/ was brilliant or cheesy. But had this been his first album, maybe Lupe would have lived up to the hype he garnered last summer.
You should know what you are getting with a Christmas movie named Deck the Halls when a family in the movie is named the Halls. Naturally the movie is your token, neighbor vs. neighbor scenario we have seen a thousand times, but this time done with a white background. This time around Danny DeVito (Batman Returns) plays the annoying new neighbor who ruins the very planned out holiday routine from the town’s Christmas specialist Matthew Broderick (Inspector Gadget).
The feud starts, sadly enough, when DeVito sees that his house cannot be seen by MyEarth (think Google Earth) yet Broderick’s is. To make sure he can been seen on the website, DeVito decides to deck his house out with a massive amount of lights and soon, MyEarth isn’t enough and he wants to be seen from space. Naturally Broderick is too fond of all the bright lights, sound and spectators that the display across the street produces and from there some hilarity ensues.
Aside from the two neighbors, the movie is filled with actors that shouldn’t have stooped so low to appear in this movie. Kristen Chenoweth (RV) is DeVito’s better half in more ways than one and seeing the novelty of her actually towering over another actor may actually make it worth the rental. Maeby Fünke shows up as Broderick’s daughter but is relegated to the clichéd moody teenage daughter role. And for some reason Hurley from Lost traveled from Hawaii to Massachusetts in the middle of winter (okay, I bet the movie was filmed in July in Vancouver, but you get what I’m getting at) for three fairly unforgettable lines.
But being a holiday movie makes it a little more tolerable than your usual movie of this type. Then again you will still be better off watching the old Christmas standbys that you have seen multiple times before.
Quote of the Week: If you get rid of the butterfly, how’s everyone gonna know you’re a stripper from Reno with daddy issues? (Lily, How I Met Your Mother)
Song of the Week: Canceling Christmas this Year - Michelle Featherstone (Smallville)
Big News of the Week: Your Chance to Influence the 9th Green: Just before Thanksgiving I announced The Second Annual 9th Green Readers Favorite Songs of 2007 poll and mentioned it again yesterday. Hopefully you have been thinking about it over the last couple weeks and now it is time to put those songs in list form as we inch closer to the deadline of Christmas Eve at midnight. All you have to do is e-mail you ten favorite songs of the past twelve months in order to ScooterKSU(at)aol(dot)com (subject: 9th Green Readers Poll). You can think of your list to be your Christmas present to me and as an added bonus, whoever sends me their favorite songs will be added to the Scooter McGavin Christmas List and will be getting something come next week.
Classic Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:
Mikey Likes TV: Mikey celebrated Pushing Daisies' well-deserved Golden Globe nominations with a run-down of the show's pseudo season ender. If you're up for a play-by-play of Sunday's Extras finale, be sure to check out his liveblog of the night's awkward and hilarious festivities.
How I Met Your Mother: You know that annoying dude at the party that tells a joke and when someone knew joins the group tells the joke again as if he doesn’t realize that 90% of the people just heard the joke which can happen up to five times over the course of the night? That’s how I felt about this episode with all the “That’s what I said” and the like. Man, I really miss The Big Bang Theory. Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.
Everybody Hates Chris: Holy Phylicia Rashād sighting! But the bigger story was that Chris Rock just completely destroyed Kwanzaa. Like your token white dude who respected the holiday without actually bothering to find out what is all about was surpised to learn the thing was a complete sham thought up by some dude who would go on to commit a felonious assault. How is this considered a legitimate holiday by people?
Journeyman: The show is really at its worst when Dan messes with his own past. It doesn’t make sense that his brother knew that their father came home the night he left and Dan didn’t. And wouldn’t event like that (much like when Dan visited his attacker a couple weeks ago) had more effect on present day that we would have to believe. It seems like whenever he changes something it just changes memories, nothing else. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com. You can also download Journeyman on iTunes.
Pushing Daisies: Maybe my least favorite episode despite the two big m(p)aternity twists. It may stem from the fact that Pee Wee is just too creepy. The show does a great job make the macabre seem whimsical and Pee Wee just seems out of place. With that said they really need to introduce Emerson’s daughter sooner than later. As for the other, I’ve been wondering for a while where Chuck’s mother was during all of this and I just got to wonder how they are going to spin this as to why she thought her mother was actually her aunt. Check out the latest episodes over at ABC.com.
Survivor: Well after a decent season, it looks like it is going to end on a boring note. If only Pee Gee had gotten immunity. I guess we are going to get a Todd vs. Courtney finale. Yawn. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.
Smallville: Well that was a pretty shocking twist with Julian turning out to be a clone (maybe). I always thought it was weird that they bring him up know after he supposable died a couple seasons back and the whole cloning definitely explains that. As for the other big shock, yeah having Bizzaro Superman apparently still around was shocking, but why exactly would he care enough to save Chloe?
Best Year Ever: After watching this special I have come to the realization that when VH1 unveils the inevitable I Love the ’00 that they will only have nine hours of programming because there was really wasn’t enough about 2007 to love that can fill an hour unless they just do an hour of the best Chris Hansen ambushes (which was the only entertaining part about Best Year Ever this year). Otherwise we will be stuck with Hal Sparks and Michael Ian Black making semi-ironic jokes about Britney Spears, Cavemen, Ringtone Rappers, Don Imus, Big Head Barry and the Monsters, Sanjaya, a second Fantastic Four flick, and our government not knowing what does and doesn’t constitute torture even though anyone with internet access can read the Geneva Convention online. Seriously, they should just rename that hour, I Hate ‘07.
Next Week’s Pick: Journeyman, 10:00 on Monday and Wednesday on NBC: What looks to be the last two hours of the show is basically the only thing on next week. I mean you don’t expect me to watch Clash of the Choirs with music “superstars” Nick Lachey and Michael Bolton or The Duel?
This month’s lyrics quiz has been culled from some of my favorite lines uttered this year and even expanded to thirty songs this month so I didn’t have to scale it down any. This doesn’t though reflect my upcoming Best Songs of 2007 that will arrive just after Christmas because I really hate publications that do their year in review in late November or early December thus missing an entire month of the year. For my full list of upcoming festivities, click on the Holiday Schedule on my sidebar. As for the lyrics quiz, leave your guesses in the comment section or e-mail me, both song title and artist. If you are correct, I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Just a little hint, the lyrics are in chronological order from when they were released so for the first couple think January while the last couple will be more recent songs. And though I disapprove of using search engines to find the answers, I don’t mind if you look around my archives as some of the lyrics have been mentioned on the 9th Green before typically in album review (click on the Terror Alert Scale link in my sidebar for those). Now on to the lyrics:
Hints
1. The very first album I reviewed this year from a band that didn't change my life as advertised.
4. Did this artist really need to break out the black and white for this video? I didn't think so.
5. This video (for a song that actually appear on the artists biggest one week sales for an album this year) featured the artist's old unkle, or so the subtitles would have you believe.
8. This song was intilly supposed to feature Chris Martin but that version was pulled from the albums weeks before its release.
9. This song was released right around the time the band released a song from the Spiderman 3 Soundtrack.
11. As I pointed out in the comment section, this year featured two videos with creepy clowns in them, this band had one (but not for this song).
13. You may remember me mentioning how this singer requested me to be her friend on MySpace.
19. Song from the dude who produced the song at 14 and sung by the artist at number 14.
23. One of the few raps from a band that had plenty on their previous albums.
24. Yet another song featuring the artist at 14. The video was so brilliant I even busted out the rare two day post to feature it.
26. Yeah Nelly recorded this song a couple years back, but it was done again, to much better results, this year.
27. I featured two of this artist's video during the same segment but didn't mention the bad perm in one of them because of her age (and still won't).
29. Two years ago this artist released three albums, the last two years only one (well, and an EP).
30. Here is the other creepy clown video.
1. We wander through her mama’s house, and the milk from the window lights,
Family portrait circa ninety-five. This is that foreign land with the sprayed on tans.
2. Just a classic case, a s-scenario. Tale as old as time, girl you got what you deserved. (What Goes Around.../...Comes Around - Justin Timberlake; guessed by Monique)
3. There’s nothing you can teach me that I can’t learn from Mr. Hathaway. (Rehab - Amy Winehouse; guessed by Dara) 4. But that would be like pouring rain drops back into a cloud.
5. I don’t need no hands on no Lindsay Lohan, on the same program as Britney, you wit me?
6. I only think in the form of crunching numbers. (Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy; guessed by Dara)
7. It’s always have and never hold. You’ve begun to feel like home. (Look After You - The Fray; guessed by Dara) 8. Dogs were whistling a new tune, barking at the new moon hoping it would come soon so that they could die.
9. Under your skin feels like home. Electric shots on aching bones.
10. She’s like "so whatever." And you could do so much better. (Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne; guessed by Monique) 11. We can’t take our eyes of their t-shirt and ties combination. Well see you later innovator.
12. And I’d wish on every star in the Southern sky for that man and our life if I did not think that. (Tennessee - The Wreckers; guessed by Dara) 13. I was a starling, nobody’s darling. Lying in perfect circles just for company.14. There were people from the city having lunch in the park. I believe that’s called alfresco. (LDN - Lily Allen; guessed by Dara)
15. Give me something to believe in ‘cause I don't believe in you anymore. (Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5; guessed by Dara)
16. You’re part of my entity. Here for infinity. (Umbrella - Rihanna; guessed by Dara)
17. Get washed-up singers writing all my songs, lip synch ‘em every night so I don’t get ‘em wrong. (Rockstar - Nickelback; guessed by Dara)
18. Give me that Sunday School answer. (Never Again - Kelly Clarkson; guessed by Monique) 19. You work in a shirt with a nametag on it. Drifting away like a plate tectonic.
20. Will you count me in? (Bubbly - Colbie Caillat; guessed by Dara)
21. Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hands? (Dreaming with a Broken Heart - John Mayer; guessed by Dara)
22. I want a thousand guitars. I want pounding drums. I want a millions different voices speaking in tongues. (Radio Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen; guessed by Monique) 23. Yeah here we go for the hundredth time. Hand grenade pins in every line. Throw ‘em up and let something shine.
24. She was the type to watch Oprah and the Today Show. Be on the treadmill, uh, like OK-Go.
25. Thinks all men are addicted to porn. (Her Eyes - Pat Monahan; guessed by Dara) 26. I’m just kiddin’ like Jason… Unless you gonna do it.
27. Sneakin’ out late, tapping on your window when we’re on the phone and you talk real slow ‘cause it’s late and your mama don’t know.
28. I still hear the children playing. Dead beat dancers come to us and stay. (Tranquilize - The Killers featuring Lou Reed; guessed by Dara) 29. You come for me in the worst of places. You come for me; you come and try to take me home. I’m always in need and it’s hard to be reciprocating. The fabric of our life gets torn.
30. I’d buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
There is no easier movie to write than a Christmas movie. All you have to do is write something uplifting, some cheesy fun, or preferably a combination of both and no matter the quality of the film, audiences will eat it up because it is easy to please people in the Christmas season. ABC Family’s latest made for TV movie Snowglobe definitely follows in the cheesy fun category.
Living in Brooklyn, Christina Milian (Man of the House), whom I like to refer to as moderately attractive, is your typical girl who is into Christmas a little too much despite being in a concrete jungle without any of the white stuff on the ground. Her Christmas cheer does get dampened by her mother, Lorraine Bracco (The Sopranos) who owns the building she lives in and keeps on renting out the apartment down the hall to eligible bachelors that Milian isn’t too keen on. And before you wonder how they can get us to believe the Cuban Milian came from the Italian Bracco, her father is played by black dude Ron Canada (I cannot confirm or deny any relation to Ron Mexico).
Just before Christmas, Milian receives a mysterious package with a snow globe inside and like every mysterious package, this one has magical powers. In this case, whenever Milian lys down to sleep she is transported inside the snow globe to a perfect Christmas setting that is like a snowier, even less complex version of Pleasantville. And pretty soon has to decide between perfect snow globe guy Matt Keeslar (Psycho Beach Party) and the latest tenant Josh Cooke (Committed) as well as deal with the change her presence made inside the snow globe (granted it doesn’t get as deep as Pleasantville, but again it is only a snow globe not a whole town).
Snowgobe premieres Saturday, December 15 at 8:00 and repeats at 10:00. You can catch an encore presentations Tuesday, December 18 at 8:00 and Saturday December 22 at 1:00.
- Yesterday after writing about the Hall and Oates Christmas album, I thought I’d hunt down the Jingle Bell Rock video to see if it was cheesy as I remember (it was, click the link to see for yourself) but on the sidebar I noticed another video that caught my eye: Do They Know its Christmas - Band Aid 20. How did this get released in 2004 and I’m just finding it now? And the video is disturbing on so many levels. There is the cringeworth guitar solo from the dude from The Darkness, who has already fallen into obscurity. The weird Thom York sighting. I think I could name more people in the orginal than this one. And most importantly, how could Bono ruin the most iconic line ever, one that he created? But this begs the question, where’s an updated version of USA for Africa? Can we start on that right away so we can have something ready for the twenty-fifth anniversary in 2010?
- The Mitchell Report came out today (click on it view it in its entirety in a PDF file) and conspicuously ran against the Democratic Iowa debate which was announced much earlier than the report. Someone apparently didn’t want the new coverage to be as big with the news channels carrying the debate instead. The report itself was pretty anticlimactic because the names came from two people and previous court cases and nothing will come out of it because Mitchell himself said none of the players should be punished. They should be punished in that none should be allowed in the Baseball Hall of Fame and sports writer who votes for any of them should be fired by their newspaper or magazine. And what is really odd, and somewhat telling, was that Miguel Tejada, who was on the list, goy traded just yesterday as well as Eric Gangé got $10 Million from the Brewers a couple days ago which goes to show how much owners and general managers cared about the report knowing there was going to be a good chance both would be on it.
- Also announced today were next year’s induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and disturbingly Madonna got in on her first try and no Beastie Boys. Also making the list are John Mellencamp, Leonard Cohen, The Ventures, and the Dave Clark Five. I’ll have more on them when the ceremony goes down I think in March.
- With no end in sight to the writer’s strike, there will be very little scripted shows at the start of next year, but one of them will be Kyle XY and I have a press release for its return. Also I may be getting my hands on another Kyle XY prize package, though the contest most likely will not start until sometime in the New Year. But that is something to look out for in 2008. Here’s the press release:
THE TRUTH IS REVEALED!
THE MYSTERY CONTINUES ON ABC FAMILY’S HIT ORIGINAL SERIES ‘KYLE XY’ WITH TEN ALL NEW EPISODES BEGINNING JANUARY 14TH
Kyle looks towards the future while the Tragers finally learn his secrets in the first of ten all new episodes of ABC Family’s original hit series KYLE XY set to premiere on Monday, January 14 (8:00 – 9:00 PM ET/PT). Matt Dallas (“Wannabe”), Marguerite MacIntyre (“The Days”), Bruce Thomas (“Legally Blonde”), April Matson (“Quintuplets”), Jean-Luc Bilodeau (“Ill Fated”), Chris Olivero (“24”), Kirsten Prout (“Elektra”) and new comer Jaimie Alexander (“Rest Stop”) all star in the hit drama.
After his journey with Jessi ends, Kyle returns home and is ready to tell the Trager family the whole truth. With every sordid detail out on the table he wonders if they will be so willing to take him back. Once they hear everything the Tragers only support him more and rally around Kyle to take on Madacorp. With a plan in hand, the family heads to the company picnic to help Kyle take down the corporation’s secret machine.
Meanwhile, torn between her instructions from Madacorp and growing affection for Kyle, Jessi was last seen leaping from a cliff into a raging river…but was it a fatal leap? And if she lived, will she help Kyle, or is she more dangerous than ever?
- Another interesting e-mail I got recently was from an anonymous source about a scene from the upcoming Judd Apatow flick Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story that was recently leaked to the internet, but not in its entirety. Well here is that full scene. Check it out while you can before the powers that be remove it (and if it doesn’t get removed I guess we know who “leaked” it in the first place)
- Just in time for Christmas, the price for Veronica Mars 3.x dropped below $30 and I’m sure you can find someone who would enjoy finding that underneath their Christmas tree in two weeks (i.e. me) and the first two seasons are still dirt cheap (see below for ads):
First off let me state that if you do not like Hall and Oates, we just cannot be friends. Yeah time hasn’t been too kind to the duo thank in part to their seventies album covers suggesting that they were the original ambiguously gay duo, Daryl Hall’s Beavis hair cut, and at the dawn of MTV they could possible made the cheesiest of all the cheesy videos at the time. Their bad marketing aside, they made the best blue eyed soul ever and I dare to too look at the Essential Hall and Oates and not go, “Those are some really great song.”
Even though one of those easily videos was the Christmas song Jiggle Bell Rock (remember when MTV actually showed holiday videos leading up to Christmas instead of honoring the birth of Jesus with a 96 hours The Hills marathon?) Hall and Oates hadn’t released a full Christmas album until now with Home for Christmas. And of course judging Christmas albums comes down to song selection and keeping the new songs to a minimum.
The album is full of old traditional songs that even your grandparents were singing around this time in their youths like The First Noel, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear and O Holy Night but do manage to put a Philly soul to them. A reworked version of Jingle Bell Rock and the Mel Tormé classic The Christmas Song are the closest to new songs on the album aside from the two written by the duo.
John Oates penned the heavy handed No Child Should Ever Cry on Christmas but is not as depressing as the title would suggest. Daryl Hall on the other flexed his vocal chops on the song he wrote, Home for Christmas which is the better of the two. Unfortunately the album also includes one of my least favorite holiday songs Children, Go Where I Send Thee that always brings up bad high school memories, but luckily the two didn’t go with the twenty minute version that I have come to know and loathe instead going with a more tolerable four minute version.
It should also be noted that a portion of the proceeds from Home for Christmas go to Toys for Tots.
I planned on reviewing the new Wu-Tang Clan album today but unfortunately I haven’t yet hunted down a copy of 8 Diagrams yet, so instead I thought I’d wax poetic about my favorite Wu song, the appropriately titled Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing to F’ Wit. Since my formative years were during the nineties, Wu-Clan was a requirement for any suburbanite. In a time when rap was getting more and more polished, the Clan was still as gritty as the slums of Shaolin where they called home and none were grittier than this song.
The song featuring one of my favorite pop culture references of all time, “I’m causing more family feuds than Richard Dawson.” And the song has been a mainstay on my workout playlist for years. The song was most recently hilariously used on Chappelle’s Show for Wu-Tang Financial with the RZA hyping up bonds and stuff and old people chanting the chorus (which is sadly missing from YouTube). Certainly a must have for any hip-hop fan, although if your are not a fan of the genre or expletives in general you may not want to download the song or even watch the video below.
... Actually, I am not even sure that will save the show anymore.
There was a lot of talk this season about Heroes being in a sophomore slump, but I was in the camp that the first season was vastly overrated. Aside from Hiro, Ando and the Bennett family, none of the characters were all that likeable and Absorbing Dude, Hearing Guy, and Split Personality Chick were down right cringeworthy. What made this worse were the secondary characters were much more interesting and I’d take Radioactive Man, Invisible Fellow, Mind Erasing Chap, Shape Shifting Girl and Eve over anyone in the main cast. Then everyone came around to my thinking after the completely lackluster and poorly planned finale.
Like millions of people who already did so as the first season rolled on, I was ready to jump ship until the show went and had to sign up Veronica Mars herself, Kristen Bell. Granted that should have made me want to watch the show even less because watching Ronnie recite bad dialogue while surrounded by bad actors would be watching Pulse every week for two months. Well, actually it is worse that watching Pulse every week because instead of being in almost every scene, on Heroes Bell has to share screen time with fifteen other cast members most of which are even worse actors than the dude from Lost. And watching Bell kiss the Absorbing Dude was the most disturbing image in my head this year that did not involve Larry Craig and an airport bathroom.
Then not only did the show didn’t solve the problems leftover from the finale they compounded the problem with letting Sylar and Peter survive the finale and added evem more characters to the already bloated cast. Speaking of the bad idea of bringing Sylar back, the actor who plays him really showed this season why the most impressive thing previously on his resume had been So NoTORIous. And I know I am not breaking any new ground by saying this, but the Wonder Twins didn’t bring anything to the story and Hiro stayed in feudal Japan way too long.
And so we trudged along to the second season finale which I really can’t say was disappointing because you need to have even moderate expectations to call something disappointing, so instead the finale pretty much met expectations. I guess I should be happy that Split Personality Chick when down in a blaze of glory, but with Absorbing Dude and Hearing Guy still wandering around it is hard to celebrate. And the finale hinted for the twelfth time that Absorbing Dude could die when he absorbed the ash remains of the Shanty Virus, but I gave up on them having the fortitude finally kill off the worst actor of our generation once and for all a long time ago.
As for the other promised death, are we actually supposed to believe Flying Gentleman #1 is going to stay dead? All he needs is a blood transfusion from his brother or daughter to reverse that. Granted we shouldn’t underestimate the stupidity of Absorbing Dude who may actually not think of it. And there in lies one of the two biggest problems with the show you can bring back anyone at anytime. What is stopping Mohinder injecting Split Personality Chick’s charred remains and bring her back?
The other big mistake was bringing back Sylar and Absorbing Dude for another season. They had gotten too powerful last season and even though they neutered Sylar and gave the Absorbing Dude amnesia, the chapter Villains will just fall into the doldrums that plagued the end of the first season with the two of them going at each other with neither being all that successful. And speaking of Sylar getting unneutered, when did he actually get the cure and how didn’t the notice the cure was gone and gone after him?
And the rest of the finale, and the season as a whole was ripe with other gaping holes. Like why, when getting a call from Sylar, did Mohinder not call his roommate, the gun toting, mind controlling guy instead of going to the apartment alone and unarmed even though he knew it was being inhabited by some evil, sadistic person? And the whole last half of the season was about The Company getting Claire’s blood yet how did no one for thirty years think to use Adam Monroe’s blood as they had him locked up for that time? I used to think Heroes could turn thing around, but it may be time to jump ship myself.
Quote of the Week: Um, you know what, don’t even try to show me that Screech porn again, ‘cause a little part of me dies every time; thank you very much. (Jason Street, Friday Night Lights)
Big News of the Week: Oprah stumps for Obama: I’m not entirely sure how much impact the Big O can have on the little o considering the bored housewives that make up the Oprah army are pretty conservative in nature which doesn’t help that much in a Democratic primary. Giving bumps to book and record sales in a time we not many people are buy either is completely different than endorsing a presidential nominee. Of course unlike Barbara Streisand, an Oprah endorsement won’t hurt and if it turns out to be a close race she may factor into the race. But then again Barbara and Oprah are certainly no Chuck Norris.
Mikey Likes TV: Desperate Housewives' über cliffhanger made Mikey wonder how long he'll have to wait for a conclusion. He is far less concerned with the return of Heroes.
(Scooter's Note: I know there are a lot of things talked about by the Coalition that I have absolutelty no understanding of because I do not watch many of the shows but should I know what NGAB means?)
MTV/MySpace Presidential Dialogue with John McCain: During the YouTube debate I complained how there were no questions that dealt with education, health care or the environment and this forum dealt almost exclusively on those subject and on the latter two McCain did a great job addressing the subjects. I wasn’t thrilled with his pro-voucher stance, but I really can’t expect much on education from a man who back No Child Left Behind, which has turned out to be a bad idea to end all bad ideas. And Curt Shilling is certainly no Chuck Norris (see below). You can watch the full forum on the MySpace Election page.
Chuck: Did they seriously start off the episode with Pimp Juice? Whoever thought that was a good idea should be fired. And then they proceed to misquote an actual great song, the Dr. Dre classic (Expletive Deleted) Ain’t (Expletive Deleted). Yeah, so they really can’t use half of the lyrics on network television, but I’d like to think they could come up with something cleverer than they did. And can I call that the cliffhanger will be a letdown of Heroes proportions. If Casey really takes care of Chuck like they are insinuating (i.e. kill him) and go back to the spy vs. spy between him and the Token Hot Chick that got old by the second episode, it would be a horrible mistake. Now if on the other hand, if Chuck, Casey, and the Token Hot Chick all go rouge and retreat to the Los Angeles underground and even though they are still wanted by the government, they would survive as soldiers of fortune. Then if someone would have a problem, if no one else can help, and if one can find them, maybe they could hire The Token Hot Team. Seriously, how cool would that be? Oh, and of course they would need to kill Morgan in the process too. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.
Heroes: After starting to write this I realized it needs its own post, check back tomorrow for that. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
My Name Is Earl: By far the funniest episode of the season, but sadly I think I may miss Coach. The second biggest laugh of the week was when the best excuses he could come up with for being in his underwear was that he was engaging in self love. But on the bright side hopefully this will mean no more Michael Rappaport. Granted Camden Country isn’t the best at keeping their prisoners their whole sentences. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.
Survivor: Can we please get Courtney’s dad on the next Survivor? Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.
Friday Night Lights: Hopefully this puts to rest the Landry murder case. But then I thought last week was the end of Riggins and his meth lab buddy. And is Coach really going to let him sleep in his garage? I’d like to think he would be able to talk him into moving back in with his brother or at the very least put him in Santiago’s top bunk at the Buddy current dwelling. Oh, and for the biggest laugh of the week would go to Jason’s date who asked for him to go R. Kelly all over her. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.
Last Call with Carson Daly: Just when you thought Carson Daly couldn’t be less funny he comes back without his writers and instead of extended interviews or extra musical performances he actually tries to still do bits. Of course the only reason I checked this out was because Alicia Keys and the Token Hot Chick from Chuck made appearances this week. There is something to say that, unlike Michelle Ryan who got more attractive when she broke out her native British accent on Bionic Woman, Yvonne Strahovski’s Australian accent is kind of a turn off. I would also like to take this time to commend Carson for running over the writer from Two and a Half Men and Standing Still. Something that gets lost in this writer’s strike is there a whole lot of crappy writers certainly don’t deserve any more money, and are so bad they should be paying us to watch their crap.
Don’t forget to check out my previews of Oprah Winfrey Presents Mitch Albom’s For One More Day and Holiday in Handcuffs. Speaking of ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas (see the full schedule here), I was watching Snow earlier this week which got me wonder how can the improbably hot Ashley Williams not get steady work? She made the unwatchable Good Morning Miami almost watchable and I am beginning to think it isn’t a coincident that How I Met Your Mother hasn’t been consistently entertaining since her character went off to Paris. Can we please get her a new show ASAP? And if it involves her Snow co-star Tom Cavanaugh that would be an added bonus since the premature cancellation of Love Money was the biggest crime against humanity that didn’t involve Fox. I can even live with the bad continuity if they bring her back to HIMYM and reveal she is indeed the mother and add her to the cast. You can catch the reairing of Snow Christmas Day at 4:00.
Next Week’s Pick: Survivor, Thursday and Sunday at 8:00 on CBS: One of the more entertaining seasons in a while thanks to the incompetent contestants. And then you have three of the weakest contestants physically ever making it into the top five with Todd, Pee Gee, and the disappearing Courtney. As for a winner, I picked at the beginning of the season for Amanda to win so I’ll still put my money on her if I were a betting man. And let us not forget the fifth finalist, the mullet rocking Denise.
Aw, the nineties, back when all the “it” girls had three names and all you needed to get on television show was a pair of dimples. Now the three named girls have virtually disappeared (Rachel Leah Cook, where are you?) and now you don’t even need dimples to get yourself on television. But ABC Family seems to love the nineties as much as VH1 and roll out a made for TV romantic comedy movie every couple months that resurrects some of your favorite forgotten nineties stars for some cheeky fun.
Being December, the latest in the line of movies from ABC Family brings a Christmas theme that teams up Sabrina the Teenage Witch with AC Slater for Holiday in Handcuffs. The plot is an age old story of a wayward twenty something that can’t quite live up to the image that their parent to have for them. The breaking point hits Sabrina, is currently using her college education to use as a waitress, when her boyfriend decides to dumped her when he arrived to pick her up to take her up to her families cabin to meet him for the first time.
Slater just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, instead of proposing to his girlfriend at the restaurant, he gets kidnapped by Sabrina to be a stand in for the shady now ex-boyfriend because in her mind committing a felony is better than showing up to Christmas alone yet again. And of course hilarity ensues. Or as much hilarity you would expect from a made for TV movie. And you really need to suspend belief a lot when Clarissa explains it all to her parents to why her “boyfriend” keeps on telling them she’s keeping him prisoner.
The movie is a prefect fit for anyone who dreads yet another Christmas with the family that will involve questions about where your life is going, why you haven’t found anyone yet, and/or are you gay or if you want to reminisce about those days. You can catch the premiere of Holiday in Handcuffs this Sunday at 8:00 on ABC Family and it also repeats later that night at 10:00 as well as Tuesday December 11 at 8:00, Saturday December 15 at 6:00.
![Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhebDZ0qqwOVKMZj7oFSUe8Hm3ax54U9Hp1fThJPgiddTyzcdwx_5SV6E3b7hkKyxbaDiym4COmUXT2YJnsKCUjBHI_a2xZtNoY7qFQRslP5AGO5gLkJwn2ZbO0wIF80ycbKrgPPA/s400/small_high.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
and who shows up in the movie (besides the Mac guy), none other than Parker from Veronica Mars. Being she was vastly underutilized on the show, especially at the end of the run, I wondered what she was up to these days. After some research I noticed she landed her a recurring role on Eli Stone, whatever that was. After some more research it is apparently a mid-season replacement for ABC (it just so happened to get a timeslot this week with the post Lost slot Thursdays at 10:00). And after seeing this promo (without a Parker sighting, I don’t think she shows up to the third episode) it may be the best or worst thing ever. And the George Michael song isn’t just a random song, supposedly each episode is named after one of songs. Odd choice considering his not so big catalogue. I’m not sure if Wham! titles count.
) plays the annoying new neighbor who ruins the very planned out holiday routine from the town’s Christmas specialist Matthew Broderick (
).
) is DeVito’s better half in more ways than one and seeing the novelty of her actually towering over another actor may actually make it worth the rental. 
shows up as Broderick’s daughter but is relegated to the clichéd moody teenage daughter role. And for some reason Hurley from ![Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCbHfExiuXqojow1zxkBUX6j-9BHg9IyrfzqR77jnja2Xq6dbv-7iiqMFzp_UKXGcUF9FyAHqCkNxa5uitXa5Xu2Q1OboN9-TLjsaeI1a2eoGLORU4vkTQ54l1C-_cZyn81QHyQ/s400/small_guarded.png)
on my 
), whom I like to refer to as moderately attractive, is your typical girl who is into Christmas a little too much despite being in a concrete jungle without any of the white stuff on the ground. Her Christmas cheer does get dampened by her mother, Lorraine Bracco (
) who owns the building she lives in and keeps on renting out the apartment down the hall to eligible bachelors that Milian isn’t too keen on. And before you wonder how they can get us to believe the Cuban Milian came from the Italian Bracco, her father is played by black dude Ron Canada (I cannot confirm or deny any relation to Ron Mexico).
. And pretty soon has to decide between perfect snow globe guy Matt Keeslar (
) and the latest tenant Josh Cooke (Committed) as well as deal with the change her presence made inside the snow globe (granted it doesn’t get as deep as Pleasantville, but again it is only a snow globe not a whole town).
every week for two months. Well, actually it is worse that watching Pulse every week because instead of being in almost every scene, on Heroes Bell has to share screen time with fifteen other cast members most of which are even worse actors than the dude from 
. And watching Bell kiss the Absorbing Dude was the most disturbing image in my head this year that did not involve Larry Craig and an airport bathroom.
. And I know I am not breaking any new ground by saying this, but the Wonder Twins didn’t bring anything to the story and Hiro stayed in feudal Japan way too long.